End your Bad Loops & Grow out of old Patterns 🦋 Oil Painting and an honest Conversation 📖

Evolve or Repeat 🦋 first 500 people using my link will get a 1 month free trial of Skillshare" skl.sh/valerie...
In this video I will try to break down my past behaviours and worldviews which have kept me in a painful cycle. No matter what you achieve in life you will always feel empty, if you don´t understand where true fullfilment comes from... And once you feel fulfilled and can stay in the present moment you operate on a different level, which I will focus on next with more consciousness.
With love,
Valerie
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[@thepinkofthesun]

For whoever is reading this: don't get stuck in the idea of ​​having to heal yourself, don't make that your identity. We are human beings. Being human means feeling things all the time, experiencing and experimenting. Life doesn't have to be hard, and it doesn't have to be easy or perfect, it just is what it is. Something magical, fluid and uncomfortable. Life is always changing because we are always changing. And that's okay. We are always searching for "how to be better", "how to be more productive", "how to be happy", how to be this and that. We are always searching for meaning and definitions to tie ourselves down, and it shouldn't be that way. We are not problems that need to be solved. We are complex beings. It is important to find balance while we exist. It's okay to cry, it's okay to suffer, it's okay to be kind to yourself, it's okay to feel angry, it's okay to be discouraged. But don't let thoughts and feelings define who you are. Don't let the constant thought of having to heal define who you are. Don't be afraid to be human.

[@sassysup]

Wowww...words of wisdom! ❤

[@chidimma3833]

You just summarised life. Thank you 🙏🏼

[@chidimma3833]

You just summarised life. Thank you 🙏🏼

[@sentimentalboxer]

Agree. I love your comment as it resonates with me. Plz let me know if you have a channel or any other type of "presence".

[@TianaSemrany]

This!!!!!!

[@cigdem844]

You know it’s strange how you call yourself lazy so easily while I’m always inspired by your hardwork. You paint, you take videos, edit them, you design your house, sell your paintings, create videos for other media etc. Maybe there are times when you struggle to work, study, or even just prepare dinner. But you have created a whole world here which inspires many people from all around the world. You can be perfectionist but this is not something that a lazy person could have achieved:) lucky to have you on youtube ❤

[@valerielin]

Thank you so much for your kind word and reminding me! Creating a world on KZbin sounds beautiful 🥲There is a reason why I said this and I will talk about this in the next video for sure. It might help many of you as well

[@hollydaugherty2620]

She doesn't know what lazy looks like and is misusing the word. To be dramatic, maybe.

[@janesukiasyan6444]

@@hollydaugherty2620 what an awful comment. It’s not for being dramatic, she just shares what she feels. Laziness could be on different levels, but if she feels it, it means that she wants to change something, to grow, Become better version of herself and etc.

[@cigdem844]

@@valerielin looking forward to it 🌻

[@cigdem844]

@@hollydaugherty2620 I don't think she's trying to be dramatic.

[@nataliag7825]

"if you are able to self regulate nothing can make you cry, nothing can put you down" - I strongly disagree. I think if you are able to self regulate, you still cry and have a bad day from time to time, BUT you accept it. You accept feeling emotions and therefore you stay calmer and are kinder to yourself. Its not about building a shield to not feel anything, its about acceptance.

[@wildthymeandeglantine583]

Thank you for pointing this out. Self-regulation allows you to lovingly embrace and comfort those hurt parts of yourself. It’s being able to be kind, find funny moments despite all the chaos we created. ‘There I go again! Haha, I will do better next time. Right now I will take responsibility for my mess, clean up, reach out, ask forgiveness, and be part of the mending and restoring and thriving.’ As an adult I had to learn to parent myself unconditionally, so that I could attract those people into my life who could teach me to love unconditionally, and so I could become a mother, different from my own. Now my kids are grown and leaving on their own adventures, I can finally have those healing conversations with my own mother. She can see, and admires the choices I have made. But I don’t need her approval or validation anymore, not for decades. And despite it all I can freely admit I never stopped loving her, and forgave her long long time ago: she did the best she knew how, at the time, but I will do different. Because, I am different, unique, but not special.- not entitled to special exceptions. The ups and the downs teach us about ourselves. Which makes me choose and be happy living in the Light: comfortable to be open and embrace what comes: laugh with those who laugh, cry with those who cry. Valerie, keep going, don’t give up. Don’t choose chaos and drama, learn to carry serenity and quiet in you so you can resist their fascination and destructive excitement.

[@diamonddusk008]

Well said. To put up walls so high you cannot see outside is a problem. We need to give ourselves the freedom to feel without dwelling in those feelings. When we are able to self regulate we are less dependent on others to be ok. We can move on from painful things without it destroying us, or totally ruining our day. We no longer get triggered easily.

[@bernini.bernardine]

I still remember after so long when in the Berlin Library you asked me for a tissue, I told you in my horrible German that I liked your art, I don't know why I didn't speak to you in English, I could have told you more things...Today after so much time, and having seen your videos and the changes, I would like to tell you that I really appreciate how you express yourself. I congratulate you for being so brave to show your lights and shadows with people. You are a very good communicator and it is always a pleasure to watch your videos and reflect with you. Thank you so much :)

[@valerielin]

Ohhh I remember asking how I should pronounce your name properly. I hope I remember this correctly 🥹 Berlin Library…I get nostalgic.. Thank you so much! It takes time to put your thoughts into order but it becomes similar to a painting in the end :)

[@AtelierLaRiviera]

Be careful with deciding with your head not wanting to feel your emotions. You will put them somewhere in your body and eventually get (really) sick. Instead, I would advise to feel them through, allow them and release them. Emotions should be transformed instead of putting aside. Anger into strength, fear into love, sadness into joy, … After you allowed your emotions to be and felt fully, you can analyze what happened and why. But please don’t put them aside or consciously ignore them. I’ve been doing that my entire life and now I’m in my 4th year of burn-out. Trying to feel what I’ve put where in my body to survive for all these years. Self love is also about being kind and soft to yourself. Allow yourself to feel. To be vulnerable. Deciding to be mental strong isn’t always an aspect of self love. I just wanted to put that out. Don’t take it personal, I still love all the things you create.☺️Keep on coming with those great videos 🪄✨💛

[@diamonddusk008]

Excellent advice, i support this. Great comment section.

[@queencass9127]

We are alchemists. ☯️

[@janam528]

100% agree! I did that for years and it almost killed me. I have been relearning how to name and feel my emotions for the past year. It's been life changing.

[@Alinda1308]

Thank you, Valerie, for having been so honest. A couple of days ago I had a revelation about myself too, not a pleasent one. I have realized that many times I expected kind of a "special treatment": I wanted to achieve more than the others but doing less. It was an unconscious thing, I didn't know I was doing it. I thought that things must be easier for me because "I'm such a good person, I respect everyone, I follow the rules", etc... And I had to understand that I am unique, as everyone else, but not special. In order to achieve what I want in life I HAVE to put effort, to make sacrifices. As everybody else. As I said, it wasn't pleasent to understand this. I understood that sometimes I was in the wrong because some people made me notice this kind of pattern but I thought I was right and they were wrong. Again, expecting empathy because I did always what it was expected from me. But it was liberating to understand that no, I'm not special and that sometimes I am wrong. It was humbling and it helped me to understand a valuable lesson ❤ I am glad that the same thing happened to you (don't get me wrong, I'm not glad that you had to suffer, but I am glad that you have learned an important lesson). These moments are precious and I hope that one day I'm gonna discover more of these flaws of mine, so that I can correct them

[@Sunrisandsunsets]

I wish,I could meet Valerie in real life🤧❤️

[@Alinda1308]

Me too, it would be a dream come true

[@user-it9qy1iw8i]

Same here ❤

[@lauraslifeline]

Me too!

[@CRAFTGENICS.03]

Omggg same❤

[@michelvaillant2711]

Guess Real Life Never Ending.

[@amandamariyahilary7345]

Dear Valerie, you are a marvelous creation of God. And through your suffering you are finding your way towards greatness.. do not give up. Love yourself with all your might bcoz you are worthy of all the love in this world. Bless you ! Love you. The mirror ball in your room is just like you.. its broken into millon pieces but when the light shines on it.. it creates magic and lights up the whole room.

[@luchtballon8049]

Thank you so much for your openness and insights, very courageous! I recognize too much in your video and that's why I had to pause it for a few times. I will watch it once more to take everything in and learn from it. I am already changing old patterns, and it is always helpful to listen to colleagues doing the same! Lots of unconditional love

[@quart1111]

What you think, you become What you feel, you attract What you imagine, you create

[@michelvaillant2711]

Oui, cette méditation s est proposée ici cette semaine.... et si nous décidions de ne plus combattre comme nombreux d'entre nous savons le faire, peut être que comme ne sachant surtout faire que ça. Pour choisir de nous consacrer alors plutôt à apprendre, travailler, savoir et pratiquer ce qu est l Amour, cet Immense Mystère, et de laisser à ce qui nous dépasse le combat s il en est un, en tous les cas ici bas. Méditation en partage.

[@michelvaillant2711]

💛

[@LieslHuddleston]

In my youth, I once heard someone say that if everyone around you is the problem, YOU are the problem. I found it profound and true, so throughout my life, I have witnessed this with people who find that they are butting heads with everyone around them, they don't realize it is themselves that are the issue. Good for you for coming to this heavy realization and for working on it, it isn't easy to be vulnerable and try new things that make you uncomfortable to improve your life, but you are on the right track, find what grounds you. For me, I am reading scripture and particularly the Psalms, a commentary called "A mentor commentary on Psalms" by Allan Harman. I'm finding it transformative and helping me understand my life's perspective. I wish you all the best and hope you find what you are searching for to live a happy life!

[@AbongileStamper]

I completely agree with and resonate with that. For me personally, I found that I was tired of everyone around me being the problem, despite having changed environments numerously. I thought, "What was the probability that 100 other people are always wrong, and I'm the only right one?" It sounded impossible to me. I soon realised that my issues stemmed purely from myself and that I had given away so much of the control I had over my life by directing it elsewhere. I once heard this quote that I still find so profound, "What you give power to has power over you." And in the end, you find it's a meaningless struggle. So, the only thing left to do, if you're a reasonable person, is to figure out where all this dissatisfaction stems from and to change your course of action. I'm currently on the other end of this spectrum, and things have become better for me. I still don't have many people I consider my companions, but that's my fault, considering I've chosen to push a portion of them away. As for the rest, some, but not all, are the problem. I have learned how to tell them apart. As for those who aren't, I'm trying my best to learn ways to appreciate them. I'm nearing the end of high school, and I'll be headed off to university in a year, so I'm very interested to see how this newfound perspective influences my life moving forward. But it truly is a cycle if you let it be.

[@niyanajima3517]

Well, thank God that revolutionaries and civil rights activists did not think they were the problem and adapt to a racist / sexist / abusive / polluting society. It seems like the ego-focused present has finally managed to deflect all societal problems onto the individual. Everything is 'mindset', nothing is to be improved in reality anymore. And as nobody wants to cooperate, but only to perfect their self as a functioning cogwheel in existing hierarchies, things CANNOT possibly improve. Fortunately, there is already a counter-movement and I cannot WAIT for this 'mindset' BS to end! (Funny, too, that the existing narcissists and abusers never think that they are the problem, because in this society they succeed and have a ball. And as a consequence this all-is-on-you-adapt-to-the-system perspective ultimately means adapting to them. Nah, won't do that.)

[@mariam2964]

Or maybe you are really surrounded by aholes. What's true for you is not the experience of everyone else. Not everyone has the luxury to sit back and contemplate psalms and blame themselves for everything instead of getting away from the toxicity that surrounds you. And fake nice is the worst toxicity.

[@diamonddusk008]

Sometimes you can be in bad environment where everyone else really is the problem. Life is hard, and certain environment have bad fruits. It may be necessary to change your environment in order to flourish. As a Christian you should also acknowledge spiritual warfare is so real and difficult. Much love.

[@Jesus-lives-inside-me]

​​@@mariam2964 I read the psalms (and all of scripture) not out of luxury but desperation. The psalms are mostly prayers

[@rawanhamed7508]

Great Valerie!!these days I am trying to search for peace and I am reading a lot about a religion called “Islam.” And when I was reading a hadith said by the Messenger of this religion, he says: “None of you believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.” At the same time as I was watching your videos, I loved the idea of ​​love and unconditional love, and I want to Read more about this actually.

[@Jesus-lives-inside-me]

Add to your readings, the life account of Jesus in the Bible. A great way to do this is to start with the gospel of Luke then Acts [of the Holy Spirit]. The same author, Luke, wrote both accounts and it's fascinating to read about Jesus in his human body, which was amazing, but then to see how Jesus' Spirit came down to live inside us as living sanctuaries after his ascension into heaven. Incredible and humbling! Also, if you search "visual Bible" here on KZbin, you will find some good movies that are word for word scripture, it's so interesting and helpful to see it acted out. There are ones for Matthew, John, Acts.

[@andadassi]

As I finished therapy, your video was the first thing I did. You my Angel, with all of your dark and bright sides; you know why? Because I went through all of your thoughts and feelings in a parallel world and deeply understand what you are saying… in every single video you shared… Thanks Valery for your existence 🤍🤍🤍

[@ninaweiss9995]

If the pain is done teaching you it will vanish. The Purpose of Life is turning Darkness into Light, Pain into Unconditional Love, Unconscious into Conscious Being, Chaos into Order that is our highest calling as Soul Alchemists. Thank you Valerie, that was beautiful :)

[@TheAgelessAlien]

“Why do I have to create chaos to preform at my best.” This hit hard, I really resonate

[@kimishere2822]

You got your Driver's License! BRAVO VALERIE! ❤ please continue to share your journey. It's inspiring on so many levels

[@valerielin]

Not yet! :) But it’s in progress🚗💫

[@OksanaBrys]

Dear Valerie, I can relate, absolutely relate to your feelings. I've got the same problem: that perfectionism that results in not allowing me to experience self love. As you quoted your Dad's words:"You paint so much light, but you're dark inside", I couldn't help crying. I have opted for the dark kind of transformation for so many years, while the lighter side has always been available as well. Thank you for inspiring me to move on in a lighter direction. Looking forward to your new videos and more wisdom and beautiful art of yours.❤

[@Pulse_and_flow]

It’s fascinating how similar we are, despite the differences in age and continents. As a painter and illustrator, the mention of embracing the chaos struck a chord with me. Your perspective on painting angels as a reflection of your inner darkness resonates deeply with my own journey. For years, I avoided that darkness, but over time, I’ve come to see it as my strength. I truly believe that mastering the balance between the darkness and light within us is the key to finding true peace. NB : I love ❤ your Channel and your Arte 🎩 you are a real old soul ❤

[@titachevaili2245]

Hello Valerie, I can only tell you, that don’t pressure yourself, you need to relax , don’t get too dictaminarían in doing certain things if you don’t feel like it, give your self permission to relax, to be in chaos, to be lazy, and to laugh, to cry, to feel ,,,it’s ok! Love you!

[@moanamiri]

I’m halfway through and this video feels like a gentle hug, feeling of being understood, a motivation to continue healing & embracing a true-self and a proof that I’m not alone in this!! I know that it is not easy to talk about your life and healing journey even to a person but you are literally shining through!!!❤ And the painting is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen! I’d love to purchase it for my future home!! I think finding this video was meant to be! Some random thing just triggered me and it made me realize I still am not being in control of myself and my feelings. I was searching videos because I’d like to end the resentment I have towards all of the things piled up for years and years. I really thank you for what you do and you simply existing in this world ✨ I hope your healing journey continues to bring strength to your emotional intelligence, love through your heart and soul and please don’t you ever chance your lovely self!!!❤

[@gooseygatherings]

Self-regulation is not about never crying again or being angry, it's knowing that these are appropriate human responses to things that happen and that you can manage the feelings arising. You're doing great with your self-discovery and learning, keep it up! Maybe consider talking through with people who have experienced their own metamorphosis.

[@amandasymon4363]

Love it when you speak freely - “SO REAL” 🙏 So refreshing ❤

[@valerielin]

Thanks! Wanted to do this since 3 years 🥲

[@kerenvalentin7082]

Valerie, sometimes we have to focus on the good within us, not so much on our negative aspects. Good overcomes darkness, strength overcomes weakness. You are a beautiful person with a beautiful heart. There is no way that you can paint beautiful paintings and have darkness within you. Don't allow negative thoughts to lie to you. Stop them before thay enter your mind completely. Replace the negative thoughts with new thoughts. Hopeful thoughts, positive thoughts. Force yourself to do so. It takes 21 days to create a new habit. Take Baby steps, that way you don't overwhelm yourself. It takes strength from within to change a mindset. You got this! You can and you will overcome your negative thoughts and habits. Stand strong, focus and take baby steps. Lift yourself up, your words to yourself are the most powerful words you'll ever hear. Much love! 💙❤💙

[@angelartamesia2]

Valerie, I have watched your channel grow and develop from the very beginning. Like one of the comments said, it is unusual that you do call yourself lazy, but so am I and so are other people who have learned to grow and become successful. Everyone is lazy at one point in their life. I am so inspired by your videos. When I was at my lowest point, your videos really helped to soothe and calm me ( I even wrote that down in my diary!) I am so grateful for your videos, I am so happy that you are realizing that you don't have to be perfect, you don't need to be the best or that you don't need to suffer. I have realized that as well. Thank you Valerie🙇‍♀

[@saracarlson-kringle]

I'm in therapy. Thank you SOOOOOOOOOOOO much for this video! Presently we're talking about boundaries and triggers, and this 'thoughts / feelings' - and people being mirrors, and myself being a mirror - things all the way back to childhood - self isolation to ride the bad times out - that in all these things I am the common denominator...yes. Lots to sort out. We had to evacuate because of big wildfires this month, and go live with others in their homes...and I found out I could survive other people - I could choose to observe them rather than absorb them - I could let them have their thoughts and feelings about me, and realize that a lot of that [good or bad] will go on with whomever is in their path [I just happen to be in their path at that moment] and not everyone is going to 'click', and that's okay. They have stuff going on in their life and maybe I was their 'trigger'. AND I found out that people also offered a lot of grace to me, and that it was harder for me to accept, so I get to unpack that next week. But this was so much good food for thought and consideration...thank you for being brave, vulnerable and open and for sharing so much.

[@l.l.1627]

What kind of therapy you make? The approach Sounds interesting

[@asunsol]

Thank you Valerie for being so truthful and putting into words how we all feel

[@valeriesaenz6851]

The way you tell your story is like watching a documentary, so well done! I aspire to be this good at telling my story. #manifesting

[@ire2248]

Thank you, Valerie, for sharing your imperfect life, your unique perspective on the world, and your 'darkness.' The moment when you showed the 'three fingers pointing at yourself' really resonated with me. Your insights are always precious and helpful, you are truly one of the best KZbinrs out there-authentic, honest, and profoundly human.

[@jenessabushey6941]

You know what is so crazy!? I also just went through an old journal and was floored with the trend of suffering I saw. I realized just how long I’ve been doing this dance. The same thing you’re talking about. And I knew I had to release the reasons for doing this dance and I felt so afraid to release that. And then I saw this image of a balloon being tethered and grounded by my heart. And I knew I could let it go if I trusted my heart and chose to be in my heart. Thank you for sharing this video. It was absolutely beautiful.

[@estudiocostaoeste]

Thank you so much for sharing yourself in this way. You’re someone I look up to (full time artist and youtuber) and I felt I wasn’t enough to achieve the things I want because I struggle with my emotions and self-esteem as well, but seeing you struggle too and it hasn’t stop you, is inspiring. This videos makes me feel less alone, especially today, that I found out my ex-boyfriend has a new girlfriend and he seems to be taking steps with her he didn’t want to take with me. Thank you

[@susanmo3137]

Omg!!! Thank you sooooo much I'm seeing everything you out out in me EVERY-THing thanks so much. I have been holding back by allowing the chaos to prevent me from going forward. I will try. The hurt scares me. I have been holding back from painting due to fear and Turing down painting jobs and opportunity because I don't feel calm or out of an anxious space. Thank you so much I have also been procrastinating from watching your videos because I wanted to clean first before watching. But this video surprised me. I didn't expect you to talk about this stuff. I thank God for pointing me to your video again and again so I can press play. 😮 And the swimming is also an issue for me too. I will work on these things you encourage me. ❤🎉

[@theresekim]

Thank you, Valerie, for wanting to help people by sharing and being so honest and open. I know many people will relate with you and can benefit from your insights. God bless you.

[@Studentlife-vf2zd]

I haven't finished the video yet but I have to say it really made me cry. My life is so disorganized right now, I feel like I'm losing control. Every time I try I find myself losing motivation. My family expects a lot from me, and I don't want to let them down but I'm not really happy. The high expectations have made me not believe in unconditional love, I feel like if I don't achieve something they won't love me. I feel lost, I have no one to guide me, I feel alone and I blame myself for all these feelings. I want to love myself too, I want to get out of this cycle but I don't know how. I'm only 20 but I feel like life has already passed me by

[@Deecosta]

What a beautiful authentic, heartfelt video Valerie. One thing I will say is that alot of what you talk about sounds like symptoms of neuro divergence. Mostly ADHD but potentially also ASD. I have ADHD and I can relate to loads of what you say. Please have a look at the symptoms online and if it feels like something that could be a possibility for you, maybe have a look at getting assessed for it. When I was assessed and diagnosed I finally understood my entire life. Ive made peace with the way I am, that doesn't mean I allow the laziness and procrastination and overfeeling /thinking to take over, it just means I am able to give myself some Grace. I understand myself and that understanding has turned into love. If you want to improve your self love, this may be one of the keys. Sending you lots of love and light - you are such an incredible spirit and your messages are much needed in this world. Continue sharing your light as well as the darkness. It's part of you and part of all of us. We need more authentic beings such as yourself. Thank you for your contribution to society. ❤

[@sofiarodrigues3837]

This conversation is so special dear Valerie! I am so grateful you shared your feelings and your vulnerability. Your soul is already so big and aiming for more. Self-knowledge is so powerful! We need to silence the noisy world outside, to be able to hear all the answers that are already inside our hearts and soul. Looking for more. What a blessing! :) xx

[@user-wy7ji9sp5p]

This video entered the depths of my heart with all seriousness, valerie lin When you update your videos, I feel that you are talking about me and my thinking, my actions, and the sadness that I am going through, yet I feel very comfortable when I witness these videos, thanks for these efforts that you are making in the videos, and also I think that you are brave to express yourself and your truth in this way, I love you very much. ❤

[@novaarts7232]

“You have to achieve something to be respected to be loved to feel good” WOMAN. you hit a spot in my heart oh my. I myself love to give out unconditional love. But I now understand what conditional love is because of you. For years my parents had conductions for my love but I loved them unconditionally. And now In able to feel like I’m a good person I have to do something that I have achieved or accomplished to be able to feel happy about myself. Wow your make I g me learn about myself while you learn about yourself too. Thank you. ♥️♥️♥️♥️❤️❤️❤️ (btw LOVE your art!!)

[@zinebasiya]

Hi Valerie❤️hope you're doing good. I really want to say that I appreciate your time & energy that you put into these videos. I also love love your new apartment and I would like to suggest that you do an apartment tour if you have time🥰 Keep doing what you're doing and I am wishing you the best as always🫂

[@marie_blly]

i wish i knew you so we could have coffee over these topics ! I have so similar feelings

[@kaneezfatima8963]

I resonate with you soo much Valerie You are the light that is guiding me a way out from the darkness ❤

[@springnicole]

Sometimes we are overstimulated and don’t have the tools to self-regulate so the energy comes out as anger and irritation. I have identified a few different things that help me to regulate. One of them is singing to the top of my voice. But, it has been pivotal for me to avoid triggers as much as I can. Watching the news is not great for me. Also, I deleted social media from my phone. It was too much temptation for me. I found my emotions swinging back and forth based on what was on my feed and what my friends were posting. Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable.

[@rubinagomes2950]

Wow... I just can't believe what I saw and what I heard. You spoke straight to my heart, Valerie. I seriously don't know what to say other than thank you. 😭❤🙏

[@heidibear44]

Self reflection is challenging but necessary. We are all just here to learn, just the fact that you want to be a healthier version of yourself is half the battle we can often face. Keep going, keep learning. You are doing great. ❤ Love from South Africa

[@brightpurpleviking]

A good bit of advice from someone about thirty years further in life…BURN THAT JOURNAL! There are things that are very triggering in it, and those things will be fed and the memories solidified. Our brains are very kind to us in that a lot of triggered things are forgotten by midlife. But the ability to revisit those painful times yanks you back to them and refreshes them in your brain- and you lose a better, more calm memory. Also when you pass away you do not want someone remembering you how you were, but what you have become. It is SO CLEANSING to have a ceremony of sorts and burn the thing. You will feel released ❤

[@dianaaide]

Valerie you're the best KZbinr and artist I know.., really! I recognized these qualities and behaviours you shared with in me and immediately wanted to improve and change things in my life! You are doing a great job and you are a wonderful person! I'm pretty young and still have many wounds in me, but the inspiration i get after watching your content is so unusually useful and meaningful! It truly helps me move forward! i also know taht you make many other people feel the same, no matter how different our stories are! Even though i rarely leave comments under the videos, i have watched and rewatched them so many times!!!! Thank you thank you thank you Valerie, for what you're doing and what you are! ❤💫💫

[@katiana2837]

Thank you so much for posting this video. My hat goes off to you for being brave, expanding your mind, and continuing to grow and let in the light-I know it is not easy. Just know that there are fellow like minded spirits out there… the world is very confusing and your videos are a huge help for a fellow creator like myself. Thank you for opening your heart and for putting in the work. Keep it up!!

[@astroarohahanada]

Thank you for the every word of yours.. I resonate so much with you.. I am on the journey of self love as well.. let's grow together.. 🍀🪽✨🤍 love you valarie~~ take care

[@Infernotomato]

Hey Valerie I’m not sure you would see this but I just wanted to say that your videos are like a therapy to me it helps me to overcome my darkest hours and also inspires me to paint.i just wanted to say thank you and keep going Sending Love

[@debra3465]

Valerie you are a beautiful soul and I thank you for sharing your gifts with the world. Your channel is so inspiring! All that is good in the world comes from love, which is why self love is the first step.We reap what we sow. I'm still learning how to forgive and love myself in order to be a light in the world. ❤

[@user-ts2vj6lp6o]

This video really came to me like a ray of sunshine, in a deep and troubled stream of continous thoughts and emotions that made me feel like i'm holding myself back. I have been watching your videos for years, each one is a different facet of you and your life. You made me realize that everything can change if you belive you can do the change itself. I appricate your art and your journey, Thank you Valerie for your most deep, self conscious and curing video till now.

[@kd2623]

Valerie, you saved me not once in my darkest times, you definitely have A LOT of light inside you. Now I feel very good and wish you to get a lot of self love that you definitely deserve 💜

[@julez1941]

I watch your videos from time to time, mainly because I love watching people make art and because your voice is so calm. This video is different, it really gave me something to think about. This idea about having to create chaos and darkness to validate your selfimprovement is really something, that could be true to myself. I habe to watch the video again a few times to really grasp everything. But thank you very much for your thoughts. This really helped me a lot already. And keep up the good work, your art is beautiful.

[@lucilecramail]

So much truth and vulnerability in this video, I'm impressed and grateful. I've been following you since the beginning and I'm so proud and inspired to see your evolution as an artist and soulful human. Thank you so much for helping me reconnect to my Self and purpose as an artist each time I watch one of your videos. Keep it true, that's when (your) Beauty shines the most 💛

[@prudentobserver9778]

Wow! Thank you so much! You have helped me to see SO many things that I have been struggling with for so very many years. I feel like I cannot express enough how much this video has blessed me. This is a video I will watch many times. I have already made so many notes and look forward to making many more. You are a remarkable woman. I am old enough to be your mother (or maybe even perhaps grandmother) but your openness and wisdom has taught me so much. THANK YOU! 💖

[@doinmyown2511]

All the things you think are awesome but try not to numb your emotions unconsciously ❤ we are human we are all human and you are right we need to stop normalizing grind. Wish you lots of luck Valerie, I believe in you

[@millionmilestothesun]

You’re not creating chaos. Chaos is creating you.

[@valerielin]

A creator turns chaos into order. And when you see chaos it also can be controlled chaos.

[@millionmilestothesun]

@@valerielin You’re right! But the reason you’re creating order is because chaos is causing you. So that’s what i mean.

[@fizakhan9999]

Dear Valerie, This is truly your most honest video so far. I’m 23 years old and I aspire to become a good artist , breaking out of my old patterns where my life revolved around academic validation and seeking love from outside. I relate to everything you talked about in this video. I paint flowers because I find them most beautiful and yet the flowers that I’ve planted in my balcony are dying. I’m becoming more and more aware and constantly trying. More power to you💌

[@marianamartinelli1850]

People hurt, because they were too. This is a cycle that we escape with forgiveness. Everything we like has to do with people, the value you give to this channel is for people. I meditate on your words, hoping to see your dreams come true. I isolated myself to protect myself, but in the pain I learned that we isolate because we don't know how to defend ourselves in the right way. To the People try to defend themselves and that hurts them, but I believe that we will learn to defend ourselves without bleeding anyone but showing peace and thus through love generating hope.

[@BoydizzleSan]

Valerie, I have a very hard time liking myself and recognising the good things about me. But recently, after a lot of soul searching, something just clicked in place. Now I habitually feel good things about myself and it is becoming more common. It all started with little moments of realisation like the ones you've been having. You will achieve contentment in time, I believe that. Best wishes

[@lttlod1]

This is sooooooo good!!! I'm about to watch it at least 2 more times today : ) So many synchronicities for me in this video. I'm going through some similar things in my own mind.

[@NazoBoliyeva]

I respect and love you for not just for your videos,content.The thing that i love,respect in you is how you be honest with yourself❤ I think growth starts with honesty and accepting the reality. I'va always seen those all of your videos and they're inspiring too. Love you unconditionally❤❤ Thank you for you❤

[@Candela.Bertoldi]

I had similar revelations when I discovered I am autistic. My mind works differently, and that's OK, the problem was I've learned it was wrong to be like me, to be "lazy", to shutdown, to meltdown. Self-knowledge is the best we can do to understand ourselves and be more gentle with us, and eventually, love ourselves just for exist, no matter how many things we achieve or not.

[@lindajohnson5424]

I’m so proud of you!!! Thank you for being so real and sharing your ups and downs, But, sweetheart, You need to go out and have FUN!!!! You need to go out and laugh, dance, let yourself go and be free!!! My daughter is around your age and is a solo traveler and travels around the world by herself(yes, nerve wracking as a mother) She’s gone to Hawaii, Puerto Rico, Costa Rica, London and Germany, etc. She met forever friends from Germany and is going to Dublin and Glasgow in September to meet them. You should go!!! She stays at hostels(girls stay separately from guys) She gets along with everybody and she goes out and has Fun!!! Yes, Love yourself!!! But, girl, go Out and have FUN!!!❤

[@rg0805]

My favorite video of yours so far. It's so beautiful to see you grow as a person. You sharing your thoughts out loud in this platform really helps a lot of people experiencing the same and going through the same journey. I wish nothing but beautiful things to come your way.

[@ezrakhan4431]

Valerie you are world most beautiful talented girl I ever seen may you success in your life 🦄💗

[@NishatIkram]

Valerie...❤ur art reflects the depth of your soul... n ur wisdom shines through every brushstroke.... You inspire me not only with your talent but also with your confidence...❤strength... and the way you embrace life with grace.... Your journey as an independent artist living alone speaks volumes about your courage and resilience. Watching you creates a sense of peace and admiration, and I am so grateful to witness your brilliance. Keep inspiring the world with your incredible energy and passion. You are a true masterpiece, both in art and in life!❤.... Love from Pakistan...❤

[@caro.3196]

Amazing vlog, really. It takes a lot of courage to open up like that. We feel very vulnerable when we realize we have to change. I believe you are on the right path.

[@janinafisher101]

To paint such beauty, you must have it within you. As you end this video saying "As within, so without." Well done for facing your fear, allowing yourself to be vulnerable, sharing your deepest darkest thoughts. The most powerful and strong people are those who allow themselves to be vulnerable, and face and deal with the consequences. Life is a journey, and when we begin to learn to accept ourselves for the entirety of who we are, warts and all, we begin to shift into a place of greater contentment. When we (allow ourselves to) experience more joy and contentment we can more easily make tiny steps toward letting go of what isn't working, and embracing and growing what we love about ourselves. You are on the path. Whenever you feel the most dark, remember that there is equal light within, and look for that light. Remember that a single candle can light the darkest room. Thank you for sharing your journey.

[@annclyde]

Wow, wow, wow…thank you for bearing your soul Valerie..I nodded in recognition about everything you shared. It takes so much courage to see ourselves as we really are. It takes time, self-compassion and understanding that the layers will reveal themselves in time, when we are ready to receive them and ‘see’ them❤️❤️❤️🙏🏾

[@tomishalovely-allen6091]

One of my favorite scriptures is Psalms 139. I am not sure if you read the Bible but this scripture reminds me that God knows all my flaws, passions, dreams, fears and failures. It does not change that he pursues me because he loves me. While you walk through the journey of learning to love yourself and change the parts you have learned need improvement I want to remind you that God loves you (unconditionally) even with all the mess you learn about yourself. We all have a drawer full of mess that needs to be cleaned in our life and look at you doing cleanup work on the inside. Have a nice day young lady!❤

[@Kamala-k8c]

❤

[@livingonaclaud]

Valerie I appreciate your candidness so much. Sometimes we think we're the only ones having certain thoughts and patterns but many of us are struggling through the same. You're not the only one on this journey of self-discovery, improvement and leaving bad loops behind. I would say you're anything but lazy! Love your content and wish you the very best on this journey. Keep going.

[@lcpdraws]

this video hit me really hard, in a good way. i feel a very similar way to you; i tend to isolate myself when i feel inadequate and i take out my negative feelings on the people closest to me. because of this, when i do come out of my shell and try to connect with others, i do so in such an untrusting way where i allow small things to hurt me, and i hurt others in turn. i so strongly want to love others and feel loved by others, but i let insecurity get in the way every time. it is such a vicious cycle, and repeats and repeats. thank you valerie for continuing to show your struggles and be vulnerable for the sake of connecting with others and as an act of catharsis, it is so insightful and comforting. to be honest to yourself is to love yourself.

[@killthemwkindness9064]

Thank you so much Valerie, for your honesty. You are NOT lazy; you create beautiful art. You inspire me to fill my life with endless possibilities. It's a beautiful outlet to apply when stressed. I'm so happy and blessed by this video. Truly love- emotional intelligence is of the highest of intelligence. It's so critical to recognize patterns in ourselves, self-regulate & to look at life through a positive lens. I think EVERY day is a good day. EVERY day we are blessed to touch lives by the love we choose to demostrate to others. Living an authentic life; choosing to diligently practice self-love, is critical to reflect the unconditional love we give to others. I wish you more success with EVERY future endeavor. 🎨 🖼 🎭❤❤❤

[@Oceanbee21]

You touched my heart so much with this open video. I feel like you were speaking right from my own heart and wounds. I too have isolated for protection but I very much want to come into the light metamorphosis. Thank you thank you thank you for speaking about this. It’s inspired me so much.

[@QueenOfKronstad]

Wow. I was patiently waiting for your video, because I knew that you would say something that will help a lot of people. You have a good heart.

[@WildArts88]

It's been said "don't judge the darkness, don't judge the light", and that is how we grow. Wish you every success, much love~~~

[@turtlechae7255]

Thank you Valerie for opening up to us and for being more and more vulnerable with us! Your emotions are safe with us and we will always support you throughout this journey to your greatest self!

[@isabellarein3182]

Liebe Valerie, ich bin sonst niemand der hier in die Kommentare schreibt aber ich muss das jetzt einfach loswerden. Ich finde es so stark von dir, dass du dich traust über das alles zu sprechen, so mutig, dass mit so vielen zu teilen und so ehrlich zu dir selbst, das auch zu tun. Das ist der größte Beweis den du dir geben kannst, dass du dich so akzeptierst, wie du bist und das ist es, was nötig ist, um daraus zu wachsen und sich die Selbstliebe zu geben, die du verdient hast. Gebe acht auf dich! Du hast meinen größten Respekt! Danke, dass du deine Journy mit uns teilst und dadurch vielen anderen auch die Möglichkeit gibst, Erkenntnisse daraus zu ziehen und zu lernen♥️ Lass es dir gut gehen❤️‍🩹😇 In Liebe Bella

[@mallkiu891]

I don’t remember when your first youtube video was, but I was there to experience it from the beginning. Valerie. Every single video I have watched and cried in such a happy way. Every single one. The way you create this experience of beauty of being understood is amazing. Please never stop creating. ❤

[@krismada]

Thank you for making this video. It is an important conversation you have here, Valerie. You are so wise, it is always a pleasure to look at your videos. Wishing you all the best. ❤

[@BugsyB1979]

I'm a 45 year old mother of 7. We all grapple with the life we have, and who we are within it. It takes a lot to face the parts of ourselves we don't like, but it's freedom that we find when we do. I love discovering things about myself that free me from limitations or whatever you might call them. I think it's easier as we get older, as long as we stay in the game. It's a gift of getting older, actually, the genuine getting of wisdom. I have learnt so much in being a mother, especially as my kids reach their own adulthood. I also find so much peace and love in my faith in Jesus and from my Catholic faith. So much of what I need help and answers for can be found there with Him. Bless you, Valerie!

[@shustine_]

It takes great courage to be this honest with yourself and choosing to be vulnerable to show it to others. We don't know each other but I thank you for choosing to live.

[@RachelIsettsArt]

EMDR changed my life. Inner parts work helped me confront the childhood cognitions that have held me back. Thank you for being so vulnerable.

[@francineh.7825]

Thank you for sharing your innermost thoughts ❤ Balancing the light and shadow within ourselves leads to wonderful discoveries. Valerie you are filled with light otherwise you would never have even noticed your shadow side.

[@shashithakur7592]

I missed u Valerie 🥺 Long time no see 🙂

[@ManonVelasco]

I really enjoyed your last 2 videos (first of you that I've watched), and I admire your insights and how well you're able to put all of this into words! ❤ I hope you can grow like you want to and grow more joyfull!🤗

[@ladylauren5029]

I needed to hear you, Valerie. You probably touched many of us with your words. I'm grateful that you decided to record this video, and i am very impressed by your courage to similar confessions.

[@sundaydawn3377]

This video was so brave in its vulnerability 🙌 it will touch many lives as it has touched mine ❤ thank you...just thank you my friend

[@loveabhinav]

Look!! Fairy is back🧚‍♀️✨

[@Willing_to_be]

This is all so valuable! Thanks you so much for sharing, it has been amazing to watch your journey. It’s absolutely a wild experience realizing that you’re not your thoughts! the core of our being we are just awareness and will by dis identifying from thoughts we are able to direct regulate it’s various parts and explore feelings or memories that’s need tending to. Also totally connect to love being the answer i can feel how deeply and profoundly you mean that! Thanks for the vid!

[@slimshany4602]

Hi Valerie, thank you for sharing your soul in this video in such a vulnerable way. I recognise some things and am in kind of the same fase in which I need to confront this "dark/light metamorfosis". You reminded me of me watching a video of a CPTSD counselor, he is unpretentious and honest, throrough in his knowledge. It is from Tim Fletcher, who talks about "the prison of unreasonably high standards" stemming from long term trauma (survival mode). Also he has one about "Perfectionism", and over time I have myself got more and more stuck in this vicious cycle /habit. Knowing how certain things feel (self love being absent, and feeling pressured to perform highly), I wanted to share my story with you. Life is indeed so much more than this, yet it is keeping us imprisoned. I hope you over time learn to talk less and less with "I should .." 😉 and make babysteps towards all things life has to offer OUTSIDE of 'performance'. Nature, people, relaxing, keeping old stuff, filling our heart ❤ We do not need to press down whatever emotions come up; allow them to surface like in meditation; mindfully watch them and like teacher and zen monk Thich Nhat Hanh said: " hold it like you would hold a baby and console it". Emotions are the voice of our inner child, and we need to understand and console it through re-parenting ourselves. Yourself 😘 All the best to you, know you are not alone as many struggle in this exact way too. And God you make the most beautiful heartwarming art 🌟👁🌟💛 kzbin.infomHLQEEht6n8?feature=shared -from Tim Fletcher, on cptsd.

[@cindydelacruz4174]

Magnificent! Seems like you are on the edge of a conciousness upgrade. Like you are grasping it almost. The dark night of the soul feels like it repeats itself but each time you come out more aware, more in tune. And as we are like the elements and their polarities. Fire can burn and keep warm. Water can hydrate you and drown you etc... we gotta modulate our energy and be careful and choose how we will a t upon.And the duality of it all, light cant be without dark and dark cant be without light. I believe one of the reasons you may have a hard time with others or some relationships is because you are wise, sensitive and also since you have soent so much time with self you keep rising rapidly and its tough to try and fit in a smaller box with others. You have to recognize your greatness and knowledge. That comes with solitude. As a sensitive introvert myself I also lose self in painting and videogames like nothing will ever be as good as Skyrim 😂 Anyway also so interesting about both types of metamorphosis let me tell you as painfull and good as we may think it feels doing the dark aspect of it at the end to reach the true metamorphosis is to turn that darnkess into light and then its when revenge turns into compassion, forgiveness. Now thats alchemy and the result is magical. You free all the dark energy stored from all our years and makes room for relief and peace. But aaahh the mind and the ego loves to keep us in a loop just grinding it up until we realize like oh hey... I just upgrated significantly!!

[@NK101NK]

Du machst das super! Ich meine die Gedanken die du dir machst, (deine Kunst sowieso). Mach dir nicht zu viele Gedanken auf meta Ebene - das mach ich auch zu viel. Besser ist es zu leben, kreativ zu sein, zu lachen, sich zu lieben, andere zu lieben, nicht in Angst zu leben, sondern frei zu sein.

[@sourcandy4400]

This video came out at the right moment. For some time now, I couldn't get out of a terrible state that ate up all my thoughts and strength. Now, thanks to this video, it has become much easier for me. Thank you, Valerie, for everything you do

[@Zboy707]

I think being honest to yourself is the biggest step toward self love. I continuously learn this through catching myself whenever I get into negative spiraling. Negative thoughts can exacerbate feelings which stirs up my emotions. Once I catch myself I try to stop overthinking and focus on working on what’s in front of me. Energy that would normally be used for reflecting on negative feelings can be channeled into the present by saying “I will focus on my work now.” Putting my best foot forward rather than backward. Lying to yourself is the ego reacting out of fear, fear of being hurt. Being honest gently confronts what you’re dealing with inside so that you can accept what may hurt and endure the pain for growth. It’s just like exercising and working out. You tear your muscles on purpose and feed your body with necessary nutrients and you grow “gains.” Honesty allows for the self love “gains” to happen 🙏❤️ honesty is the exercising for the soul. What you feed your soul thereafter repairs damage and supports growth 😊

[@bear3s]

My diary was also full of negativeness and heartbreak, until I noticed I only wrote on it when I was feeling bad. Now I try to write a bit everyday, even if nothing at all happened, and honestly it makes me see my life as something much better than I used to before. I guess it really is just a matter of what we focus on sometimes

[@josephine7624]

Thanks for sharing all this! I hope that some time from now, you look at this again with a smile and realize how much progress and growth you've accomplished! It's impressive to see how much meaning and personal vulnerability you put in your work too: it's very inspiring from both personal and artistic perspectives!

[@emiligomez9480]

Omg this video hit me hard, I am also in a vicious circle and an eternal return from which I want to get out and I can only think a couple of things regarding your conclusions, I think it is healthy to feel your whole range of emotions, but these should not condition the actions you are taking. We always express a part of our unconscious in what we do and your videos and your words and paintings express so much light, a light that is kept. I love that the entire narrative is connected to your new painting at the same time, and at the same time your painting gives me a message of support. A support of lineage or of oneself, having a thousand faces, we are goddesses with a thousand faces helping us connect and describe each of them.

[@fionasimagination]

It's so strong of you to be able to share these thoughts and developments with us on youtube. I have them too and am always so giddy and excited when I come to a breakthrough and manage to put two and two together. I have talked about them with friends on the Internet. Non of them are as interested in the workings of the mind as I am ,or you seem to be though. I wonder how it would be to talk to someone about these things that shared my passion for self development.

[@scholarthefuture7284]

It is so relatable to me right now, as I am passing through the same situation. And building upon my cofidence and try to practice self love and create again ❤

[@sahifarubabartstudio]

Thanks alot Valerie for your kind words honesty.❤ It really help to understand my inner self. Your every video is a huge inspiration for us all❤❤❤