#264

[@theactorjohnlarroquette]

The first callers husband sounds like an awful person and who is straight up gaslighting her into this to “save their marriage”

[@erintheokay]

Yep. He's manipulative. It's HER fault he's not being a good husband. It's HER fault they aren't socially active.

[@Mirrorball518]

Listening to this episode makes me that much more grateful that I’m married and in a monogamous relationship

[@EeeeVeee231]

Awww i dont judge or hate poly couples at all but her story left me feeling quite sad. Hers makes me think of the common coerced/pressured/nagged wife by eager, tone deaf, straight up bad husband/partner (who doesn't participate in domestic labor) who is now trying to convince herself & others. I know not all poly couples are like this but there IS a trope for a reason 😔

[@rachels1957]

This throuple situation is doomed. The woman wants more of a social life from it which can easily be achieved from other means rather than bringing another woman into the marriage because the husband is bored. Also the fact that the husband has constantly been talking about bringing another woman in from the start of their relationship would piss me right off and make me feel inadequate.

[@ravenbossification]

What she is looking for is literally a friend… not a girlfriend lol

[@MNudo-s7h]

He’s magically going to be a better husband if he had to clean for and give his attention to another woman? This caller needed a hard no.

[@annabriggs4088]

I can't imagine there wouldn't be jealousy if he can't clean the home as a form of respect to his wife, but plans to do so as a form of seduction of a near stranger. The book Natasha mentioned, I believe, is Tender is the Night, and it hardly paints a jolly picture of those times. Everyone is jealous and bitter, the male character is a narcissist and the female one is an abuse victim with extremely severe mental health issues. The novel shows how difficult it can be to have happy open relationships and affairs, especially in a society where men dominate the power dynamic.

[@mariediop9551]

Thank you, maybe the picture she painted was not the most flattering to him and obviously he was not there to defend himself but he sounds like pos and she needs to get some self respect

[@annabriggs4088]

Narcissists often try to portray something they want to flatter their ego, as virtuous. They also never let up and are like a dog with a bone. They manipulate others so the controlled one feels like they decided themselves, by giving them fake choices and initiatives. They minimize the important conversations, for example about consequences and impact on children, and make their plans seem more exciting and simpler than they are. They are actually boringly predictable 💔 Women truly need narcissism literacy classes! And if they want more friends, to join a club or class on their own.

[@annabriggs4088]

Yes there were troubling elements - the repeated requests for his fantasy to come true, her being given the role to recruit the 3rd person, the cleaning issue, the 'I will improve my character' promise, the apparent loneliness of the caller, the lack of forethought about the children's comfort with the situation... Lots of red flags.

[@michaeldougherty5393]

The world needs "Election Party" the film. Sort of like "This is the End" but the true story of Moshe and Natasha's party. Heh?

[@shundiin8]

Like the movie starts with a vignette of the party falling apart as results come in. The opening credits roll. Then there’s a quick scene about the party clean up. Then it cuts to 2020 when they’re screaming out to the neighborhood at 7 pm and slowly teaching their toddler about Covid life

[@beth2727]

they need to pitch to Jordan Peele

[@k.c.simonsen2]

“If I were to FIND a shit community… if I were to go to Germany” - Moshe gets at least one perfect line in per episode

[@sunshinecommentswoop4902]

Natasha saying and asking all the right things for the first caller

[@paperfart3988]

First girl is with a manipulator

[@beazyb]

That first callers husband is hilarious

[@natduarte8]

LOVE Nathasha's reaction to the triple story. "COOKING TOGEHER? I CANNOT!" You represent me, Nathasha 🤣

[@Melon-Lord]

Ian is one of the most likable guests no matter the podcast he’s on. Ian we need it back on YMH

[@figgettit]

he is also RATHER attractive.

[@Knoutzbeary]

I'm afraid the first caller's husband wants out of the marriage and is probably not ready to tell her. I don't think she wants a three-way relationship at all. Claiming that a 'throuple' will make him a better person is such a lame excuse - I'm sure she'll be the one doing all the housework before the new lady comes over. And how would you ever explain this madness to children? I just hope she finds the right path for herself and doesn't let herself be fooled.

[@oliviaramirez750]

He’s definitely already cheating on her. Poor woman.

[@jdaughty1090]

I agree! This was the most cringyish one yet! If my husband kept asking I'd be out! I actually called my husband after to tell him about it!!

[@elenashines9587]

When I heard that explanation, all I got out of it is "I'm willing to do all this work (clean, cook, etc.) for someone else, not you"

[@christinacampbell5952]

Exactly. He's looking for a way to get away with an affair before he ends their marriage completely. and she doesn't want to see it. What he wants is an open marriage/divorce, whichever.

[@ravenbossification]

That poor woman needs a friend… not an extra person in her relationship. I’m not convinced that she actually wants a third but just wants to please that man…

[@arantxacalles8438]

Ian Edward's original take on Ukraine is right on. Love him!

[@melbanunez2733]

The lady in Oregon, LORDY! Narcisist 101! Dr Ramani.

[@SparklingRutabaga]

“A Moveable Feast” is my fav Hemingway novel. Also, the throuple couple needs to get on the show “Couple to Throuple”. It’s on Peacock.

[@SparklingRutabaga]

Also, I’ve heard that Feeld is a good app😊

[@hankpink6274]

This is the rec we needed.

[@chloechristian67]

41:03 Natasha’s “act out” voices with the spicy throat ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

[@erintheokay]

The first caller wants new friends and a more active social life. Her husband wants a new special partner and while poly/open relationships can work, they can only work if everyone involved is fully into it. She's so not. He's bringing women to her like a cat brings its people a dead mouse. He's not even telling the women he's married and looking for a third up front. This one was sad. The husband is lying to her and is likely already cheating. Leave him.

[@ugnep6145]

This guys knowledge about war in Ukraine is purely offensive. Well done Moshe for trying to educate. Moshe is so bright, can't stop admiring. Natasha is Queen. Amazing couple

[@clevermissfox]

When I looked it up the first result for fetus was also “little one”- it was from the National Library of Medicine But the next four results said ‘Fetus is a Latin word that means "the bearing, bringing forth, or hatching of young."’ Interestingly , something called The Catholic Open Mic expounded and said fetus originally referred to the act of childbirth; it was a verb that came to refer to offspring, product, or fruit.

[@nameless.faceless.]

Okay I want to be fair about the throuple situation.. he’s not wrong that it makes you “better” in some ways. This was something that I got a little jealous of but I also understood because when my hubby and I dated a girl for a while, I was also on my best behaviour and wanting to present our life and myself a bit better. (I also found the girl and wanted to pursue it so it wasn’t his idea, I should add) So he’s not wrong BUT knowing this about yourself should start the conversation about being better in your own relationship first. I would never want to admit that I’d want to do better for someone else and not change my behaviour so that my partner knows they’re worthy of my best too. Just my thoughts.. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@njs1166]

Nuclear power isn't the same as nuclear weapons. Only nine countries have nuclear weapons

[@z.shari11]

Me and my fiancé was just talking about this 😅 #random

[@k.c.simonsen2]

The throuple lady is just another reason everyone hates Portland and so do I and that’s where I’m from. “Cooking dinner together” Jesus Christ

[@bridgettedecoste5967]

The throuple guy was RED FLAG CITY! No no no no no, girl.

[@Qualia.]

I really dig Ian's calm, thoughtful energy. 😌💞 (And he's hot too. 😁)

[@MJ-qh2su]

Natasha was a great guest on Hawk vs Wolf.

[@activistmalpractice]

Has no one considered that the dude reluctant to engage in "CNC" might be worried about allegations that might arise?

[@gingerhitzke9185]

✨Blood Edition✨ 😂

[@brittanycarriger]

Ian!!!! (screaming from the back of the room!)

[@bashtian1658]

Would anybody want to grow up as a child with a father like the first caller’s husband? Honestly. Not me. I would like a father I could look up to, learn from, feel safe around and who respected and loved my mother enough to at least do housework and stop haranguing her about his “sexual needs.” Listening to her made me so sad for her. This is how men start religious cults in the beginning and use the first woman to “recruit” others to bring home to the male. Was super common in CA in the 60’s and 70’s. Maybe instead try to go to couple’s therapy and get to the root of this lack of healthy intimacy this couple is clearly experiencing with themselves and each other. And maybe put more time into your kids’ development and protection and stop obsessing over sex, especially since she said their sex life is great, which is an accomplishment in itself for any couple who have been married for a long period of time. My gut thinks this will pass and is more of a fantasy for both of them than something they are really going to pursue. Really interesting to listen to overall and to hear from all sides. No judgments here as long as he’s truly not trying to gaslight her into an unhealthy longterm sitch. To each their own. I have just found that it’s challenging enough to put my all into one person let alone a second and then add in kids, pets, aging parents, friends, colleagues/coworkers, extended family, etc. I think every person alive knows what it feels like when the people they want to receive love from are not giving it their all and it doesn’t feel good.

[@nicholkid]

I swear everyone that calls in from Portland is out of their mind. Throuple will never make any sense to me.

[@astroflow]

Yeah let's vote for the guy who had part of his brain eaten by a worm. Smart

[@PDrewG1]

Funny how the assumption is that a throuple is some ploy to just get laid more. From what i hear its a huge amount of work communication wise and absolutely does require more accountability from everyone involved. Plus if the guy has been extremely promiscuous in the past the idea of one new, regular sexual partner isn't the fantastical aspiration its being portayed as. Plus theyve had threesomes. I dont count myself as one of them, but there are people to whom this shit just isnt that big a deal. Certain folks are just wired for openness to things that others avoid. Like the idea of sharing a partner. But yeah people often terminally insist on seeing others situations strictly through their own lens. Probably the key limiting factor for humanity.

[@anick5026]

🤔 is it possible that the second caller’s fwb wants her to be the aggressor of the cnc?

[@wolfgangwhite]

Try Feeld:)

[@jdtx2004]

Ian is the voter that scares me. The kind that recognizes our choices are both imperfect but categorizes them as equally bad and therefore apathetic and couldn’t care less.

[@melbanunez2733]

Organize a block party -DJ it!!! Comedic commentary..::)!

[@z.shari11]

Orange is in fact, NOT a Blood or Crip color 😅🤭

[@omeedzadaf9547]

Ian is the man

[@Afrosukha]

Dearest Ian, wanna be Poly with me in the UK?

[@nameless.faceless.]

47:16 whenever Moshe and Natasha finally have that threeway, I volunteer as tribute ✋🏻😅 just saying..

[@annemhobbs]

As a poly person it’s always so funny and equally frustrating listening to monogamous people talk about it, wow.

[@rachels1957]

Trust me , it’s funnier listening to yourselves talking about it more.

[@rickylefebvre]

Yeah, people simply will not stop making countless assumptions about other people based on their own problems with relationships lol

[@DarlingDearest-cq4ei]

Seriously there are so many assumptions and projections in the comments from monogamous people. Where’s the advice from poly people?

[@annemhobbs]

@@DarlingDearest-cq4ei I also love the rude reply I immediately got for even expressing that we exist and get frustrated when people talk about things they have no experience in. A lot of people really are out here thinking they know best with the most closed minds 🤦🏻‍♀️. (and no this isn’t me saying being poly is the best or even a choice for everyone, don’t worry i don’t give a fuck what other people do.)

[@DarlingDearest-cq4ei]

@@annemhobbsyeah, generally people don’t see you as you are, they see you through the lens of who they are. If someone makes fun of you for being you, it just shows their own faults and insecurities and lack of an open mind.

[@matteglossymedia]

Bums me out Moshe and Tash are barely aware if Kennedy, our country is screwed

[@paperfart3988]

Clueless, just buying into the shallow stuff

[@ssenssel]

Ian is legit

[@activistmalpractice]

Maybe the lady just needs a lady friend. :(

[@JDMimeTHEFIRST]

All apps suck. No one actually meets up. Better to look up real life meetings /group activities

[@jah_loves]

IAN!!!!! Please get a KZbin page!!!!!!!!

[@brittanywilson1796]

Natasha was stoned out of her mind this episode, no?

[@fridabee]

Fetus in Latin means "the olive that falls closest to the tree, grows in the most shade." Very similar to what the name Frida means in Spanish, which is "Don't put more than 3 mini burritos in your mouth at once." It's a name which has become a very popular name in the last 5 years.

[@DarlingDearest-cq4ei]

The first caller wants some advice on how to do polyamory or pick up a woman, and the comments blow up with stereotypes about scumbag men. 😂 Sheesh people. She just sounds clueless to me (probs why she’s calling in to get advice!). There ARE good men out there who are open and upfront with their desires (without being manipulative or scummy), and there ARE women who are playful and trusting enough to try. Get this woman a relationship coach or something! But seriously, Natasha had some excellent advice. She should first figure out why she’s excited to try out this type of scenario - only then will she be able to will into existence.

[@bashtian1658]

Good point. Just one question though. If you were a child, would you like it if your mother and father were in a throuple? No judgment here. It is an honest sincere question. Perhaps for you, the answer would be yes or perhaps you were raised in a polyamorous household and/or community, which I always find fascinating to learn about, so if so, please share some of the pros & cons of your experience. Like I said, no judgment here. I find the whole matter interesting and thought-provoking.

[@DarlingDearest-cq4ei]

I don’t have direct experience growing up with polyamory. But I do know that children grow up believing that whatever they’re exposed to is normal. As long as the parents are happy and thriving, children are happy and thriving. If the parents chose drama, pain and emotional chaos over love, peace and emotional safety, then yes, the kids will suffer. (This is true for every relationship, not just polyamorous relationships). As long as the parents are able to joyfully and lovingly fold another adult into the home, then I don’t see why the kids wouldn’t benefit… after all, it takes a village.

[@bashtian1658]

Thank you for taking the time to reply. I agree with many of the points you raised in what you wrote. Life is so varied and barring harming others or oneself, there is no right or wrong way to experience relationships or life in general. We could all benefit from allowing everyone’s voice to be heard and to listen and try to understand, and respect others rather than judging each another, especially since we did not hear his side of the story and/or his perspective directly from him. Thanks for continuing the discussion.

[@DarlingDearest-cq4ei]

I wholeheartedly agree! Each of us has this one beautiful life where we get to explore and create our dreams. It’s so silly for other people to try and put down the dreams of others just because it doesn’t resonate for them. This woman obviously wants to help her husband realize a dream she doesn’t really know anything about. It’s super sweet! More open listening and acceptance, less judgement. That’s why I love this podcast… Moshe and Natasha are such good, non-judgmental listeners. They can relate to anyone and try to help, even when it’s obvious they don’t agree.

[@0remor]

Maybe Field? I’m gay so not well versed.

[@jiggly-puffy]

It is but it’s spelled feeld