Enneagram: Type 4 & Living Mostly In Your Inner World

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Күн бұрын

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@PaulHarrisonVideos 2 жыл бұрын

I'm a 4w5 and have been obsessed with journaling, archiving, autobiography, and memoir for most of my life. Doing endless inner work, going on night walks in the dark and quiet in nature where I can finally "feel my feelings and hear myself think." This is a retreat from the external noise, chit chat, and banal daily activity to check in and ground myself. If I didn't do something deep, connecting, or meaningful with my day, I imagine it's like a 7 not doing anything fun all day. It feels off. I related completely with not being able to find "my people" or people I connect with, who share my interests, and being told by others that I can be too deep/heavy/melodramatic/touchy/dark and that most people going about their day just don't want to be taken to my "basement" as you call it. 😂 I just sat in a Christian coffeehouse yesterday and thought, "I should really go back to church." Then I thought of everything I'd disagree with and be frustrated, so talked myself out of it, just as you said! I'd just upset them all with my doubt, skepticism, nonconformity, and even the "demonic" Enneagram. My Enneagram Institute test scored me in a tie between 2 and 4. When I look at the memoirs I wrote, my story reveals average to low traits in both numbers. So--obsessed with my story and inner work--I began deconstructing my story in hopes of writing a new one as a healthier version of my numbers, but am just understanding the concept of obliterating the idol of my types to be free from them. In my case, the 4w5 is a good balance of objective and subjective, thought and emotion, and the 2 is a good balance between being other focused while absorbed in self as 4. But the general mood of my life is still really intense and heavy, so I have been moving to 9 and 7: relax, lighten up, simplify, unburden, have some fun, enjoy yourself. I'm trying to get as far away from 2 and 4 and into these numbers as I can. Hopefully this leads to a new life and new story and not identifying so closely with any particular number. That's eclectic, but 4s are good at that.

@akpenguin1859 2 жыл бұрын

I’m also a 4w5 and I relate to telling myself I need to go to church, then talking myself out of it because certain things don’t “apply to me.” Like I’m some outlaw 😅 finding community is hard knowing you should but not feeling like it or talking yourself out of it 😔

@PaulHarrisonVideos 2 жыл бұрын

@@akpenguin1859 I did visit a church for the first time and voiced my thoughts about having outside of the box views and the woman at the coffee stand said, “Oh, everyone is in a different place, we don’t care, we’d still love to have you!” But they had cookies instead of donuts, and that’s disrespectful. Jesus is at least worth donuts. I didn’t come back. 😂

@akpenguin1859 2 жыл бұрын

@@PaulHarrisonVideos 😂😂😂

@jillmappin3316 2 жыл бұрын

@@PaulHarrisonVideos 😂😂😂

@jillmappin3316 2 жыл бұрын

@@akpenguin1859 careful. 4’s go to 2 in disintegration!

@miamagdaline1226 2 жыл бұрын

😂It is complex and exhausting to be a four, I am also very compassionate and empathetic. Someday a chat might be inspiring 🙏❣️

@barrymaddux8943 2 жыл бұрын

The struggle is real! I’m a detective too so I can get lost in it Gahahah

@quuqeemonster Жыл бұрын

Twilight shook me up so hard I lost my appetite for two days.

@StacyRenardPiano 2 жыл бұрын

Around the 7 minute mark…I was almost crying because as I had this experience with a 4 wing 5 friend. I took him out of his basement playing guitar to the Center stage in my band. He was talented and we knew each other and had enough interaction, yet when he moved away, I wondered if I really ever knew him. It was real sad…because I studied INFP/enneagram 4 wing 5 so I could be a great friend to him. I (3w2) am very self revealing -yet he remained elusive. Polite, kind, noticed everything but sadly hidden. Wished we could have been friends for life.

@gabriellagrey4163 2 жыл бұрын

you were a good friend.

@gabriellagrey4163 2 жыл бұрын

@Autumn let her tell her story without you rudely ignoring her message and honing in on her typology. She didn't say INFP's were the only ones who could be 4's.

@MeliMeli66 Жыл бұрын

I would give anything to have someone like you in my life. I am an INFP 4w5 self preservation. Please continue to bring light and openness to this world. I think your friend had some inner demons that made him ashamed of himself and he probably thought you would be better off without him. Unfortunately, 4s have a hard time seeing their value and their own light. Rest assured, I am sure that your light shone brightly to him but he might have felt inadequate in its glow. Sometimes, we have to give people time to find themselves by themselves. Also, he might have not been able to use his 3 wing as well as you since you are a dominant 3 and that might have made him feel no good enough. You sound like an awesome person and you will find others who will appreciate the gifts that you bring to this life.

@StacyRenardPiano Жыл бұрын

@@MeliMeli66 Thankyou for sharing this. It hurts to think how much we each struggle in just wanting to be accepted for who we are. I liked his awkward quirkiness/shyness and his beautiful depth of soul. I learned a lot from him. Always was two steps ahead of me. Not that he outright taught me things, it was just my observations of how he moved in this world and his way of being. I think the greatest gift he gave was I always felt “seen” and understood .

@Kinokisings Жыл бұрын

My four game is so strong that even I don’t know the real me

@benjaminbagocius9353 2 жыл бұрын

Dear Dr. LaHue, this video-exploration is brilliant, ennobling, healing, and fun. I am an Enneagram 4, and I feel understood, seen, and heard by your words, caring advice, and downright wisdom here. Thank you for acknowledging a 4's experiences and at the same time for encouraging us to see another way, too. With gratitude, peace, and respect, Ben.

@etbedtalksAOH 2 жыл бұрын

Some of its good for objectivity. To understand what pulled us back in the past and to see it from a higher perspective.

@shyinsomniac 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for making more videos on the 4!

@quuqeemonster 2 жыл бұрын

I love Twilight. I lost myself up in my third floor bedroom reading The Hobbit.

@quuqeemonster Жыл бұрын

You are like me. In my third floor bedroom when I was 12 I loved the hobbit so much I even learned to write letters in the hobbit alphabet

@ricard3135 2 жыл бұрын

I'm a social 4 (so an antisocial), and I am terribly negative as regards to people. My misanthropy is anthological. I can assure you that I have tons of intuition, probably because we 4s are heavily wounded cats. It may sound arrogant or stubborn or simply 4ish, but I can assure you that (almost) every time, just to experiment, I have betrayed my thoughts about someone or a (human) situation trying to give a positive and different perspective, which I don't believe and not even understand, I have screwed it up. I am positive only in one sense: I follow my usually negative intuition and everything goes fine. Very sad, very 4ish, you may think. But it's just like that.

@lifestoryguy 2 жыл бұрын

I wouldn't take what that 4 was saying to you too personally. As an older 4, I get a sense that was a 4 with low self-esteem and one that hasn't figured out yet that the rest of the world just isn't judging us. In fact, the world is actually indifferent to us, which is truly great for a 4 to understand at a deep level because it means we can be our individualistic, authentic and full-on weird selves because no one cares about what we do or don't do or even our success and failures. As 4s, we can make our art and wear what we want etc because we are only the bit player in the lives of others. So, fellow 4s embrace the utter indifference of the other types in the Enneagram and let your freak flag fly in order to truly be the star of your own movie, the author of your own destiny or the drummer beating to their own drum. This way you can achieve inner peace and perhaps inspire the other types to look inwards from time to time.

@cantelope007 4 ай бұрын

lmao I kept trying to zoom in and see if that’s an outline around your head or not (I suck at telling these type of things) and when you held the book up and it just zapped away 🤣

@annabee148 2 жыл бұрын

The dissecting of the compliments is accurate af

@SugarSnapDragon 2 жыл бұрын

I relate to so much of this, but 4s really are not Eeyore. Also it's important to acknowledge how older people like myself, have already worked on a lot of this stuff. It doesn't mean we aren't 4s. We've just grown.

@quuqeemonster Жыл бұрын

On the phone with my shrink one day he mentioned Winnie the Pooh. I said I hate Winnie the Pooh. He told me I was like Eeyore. I had to go look it up because I didn’t even know what it meant.

@Beebeboopb0p 2 жыл бұрын

Loved the video! THANK YOU 😊

@Chells_Bells 2 жыл бұрын

This is so relatable, I can’t even really narrow down which part to comment on! But I will say that I constantly feel stuck in my head, and am almost always worrying or obsessing about different things. Usually about not being good enough and that I haven’t accomplished anything of value. (And I actually really do like Kohl’s, I have a really basic fashion sense lol! 🤷🏼‍♀️)