ENNEAGRAM Type 8 | Annoying Things Eights Do and Say

[@AbbeyHowe]

What's your favorite thing about Enneagram 8s? Mine is their ability to protect the ones they love and those less fortunate! Comment below ⬇️

[@simonarnback6547]

Their abilty to stand up for what they believe is right, no matter what opposition they face! (which to be fair, is sort of leaning into what you wrote above)

[@AbbeyHowe]

But such a good thing about an 8!!

[@rosebud71590]

My husband is so justice oriented, unbelievably devoted to his family and best friends, and he is soo disciplined. I learn a great deal from him!

[@stevenlemitelamy6023]

Where's the 9 video 🤔😕

[@ferdinandwgernandt2312]

Routine! Discipline! All or nothing!

[@jjschow]

I'm an 8 and it's not that I think I'm always right, everyone else is just always wrong.

[@katarinajordan3274]

No joke!!!

[@syberyah]

This comment is hilarious.

[@penanselungoviolinist4094]

HAHA

[@WH17Y]

FUCKING PREACH! but in all seriousness, don’t preach at me, preach at all the morons

[@dragonfablesdragon]

Literally the truth

[@jess8316]

As an 8 I do appreciate the fact that you said “unhealthy 8s” vs “8s as a whole”. Sometimes it is nice to have someone else that’s qualified to be in charge & take that leadership role. But you better believe I’ll take over in a heartbeat if you’re not up to standards bud. 🥂

[@ohhmangos]

in group projects I genuinely try to let other people step up... but then they screw up 3 times and I'm like screw this I am in charge now. Its like that old saying, if you want to get something done you do it yourself

[@dumitrita12ani]

Same lol

[@harryhitter9647]

Sounds about right

[@DiannM1917]

If I had a dollar for the number of times I’ve said “No, I’m not doing that” I would be a millionaire.

[@AbbeyHowe]

same honestly and I'm not even an 8

[@ldthompson57]

same

[@SoulfulVeg]

I'm glad I'm not the only one. Well, honestly I don't care! 🤣🤣

[@evangelle82]

I've said that to people in authority. LOL

[@Logie_Mills]

In regards to stupid rules: “IIII’m noott f***in’ doin’ that sh*t” -me

[@stilesstilinski2564]

I've literally said, "If everyone would just do what I told them to do, this country wouldn't suck."

[@AbbeyHowe]

You're a born leader Stiles!

[@evangelle82]

Same! LOL

[@thescarecrowcat]

"Type A" should be changed to "Type 8," in the vernacular.

[@kuutoa]

me asf 💀

[@dxd813]

If everyone did what I told them to do their lives would be pretty damn amazing. Truth!

[@AlanaL3]

I don’t think 8’s always think they do the right thing...I’m an 8:) I think it’s more that they don’t care what anybody thinks about what they did...it’s right to them and that’s all that matters:)

[@AlanaL3]

Sorry, more to say. All or nothing is SO true...stick with what you say! I was dying at the keto example...me and my husband!! 😂 except I don’t feel betrayed I just think you’re a woose if you can’t stick with a commitment:) And I don’t think it’s accurate that we think we are always right:) if you can “bring it” and show how you are actually right, I’m totally open to changing my mind. You just gotta persuade me:) I’m a wing 9 so I’m really cool with letting someone else lead:) Great vid!

[@AbbeyHowe]

Thanks for the insightful comment, Alana! 💜 It's interesting to hear that it's more than just feeling like they're always right. It's more about being right *to them* and that's what matters! (also, so glad the keto example resonated with you 😂 I thought it was funny)

[@8randi]

As an 8w7 I completely agree with Alana, my mind can be changed but the other person would have to bring a convincing arguement. And I REALLY love when someone will actually engage with me to debate/discuss something. Like please, don't LET me mow you over with my opinion if you don't agree. I want others to stand up for themselves and their beliefs. Of course as I've grown up some I realize that is just not how everyone functions.

[@AlanaL3]

8randi totally! I feel sooooo loved when someone “hangs with me” to the end of the conversation instead of shutting down or running away. I definitely agree we must be aware of others feelings etc. I am not argumentative or ugly when I “debate” but I am challenging and bold. I just love when people stick it out to the end:)

[@8randi]

My husband won't engage in those debates because he says he knows he's not gonna change my mind... but I do feel like he could if he would just engage instead of giving in lol. He said it's cute that I think he could change my mind, but he knows better 💁‍♀️

[@GyroLamb]

Important distinction about the creating conflict thing: 8's create conflict as intimacy IF THEY LIKE YOU, believe it or not. Lmao. If they don't like someone or really have a problem with them, it's not about intimacy and they probably want to destroy the person of their ire in those circumstances. But if they're just jostling with you, it's probably because they like you as a person and want to see if you can play with them back.

[@jadechatman4846]

I agree with this! If I don't like you, I won't even bother arguing with you in this way, a lot of the time.

[@pianoteacher365]

Very true! I want to know what someone is made of. If they can stand toe to toe with me, I like them. If they are easily intimidated, I’m not going to have much respect for them.

[@madameproblemes6548]

Thank you so much for those testimonials! I go everywhere to understand an 8 woman I fell in love with and this explains a lot about her. I try to understand her logic so much but I'm a flamboyant 4, it's hard 😂

[@user-yy4qw5zn4h]

this is true

[@gingy1965]

My boyfriend is an 8 and I had to explain this to my best friend when they met. He decided he really liked my friend and then instantly started giving her a hard time about things and she was so confused.

[@WH17Y]

Fun fact, that “anger” you describe is not always an 8 being mad or “angry”. They are frustrated and disappointed with those around them. They know you can do better but you refuse to due to your shortcomings. A healthy 8 can see that sometimes they are frustrated and disappointed with themselves but they have trouble admitting that they have done something on the same level as you. Your example could have expressed that with better wording, just saying.

[@AbbeyHowe]

I appreciate the feedback!! I will keep this in mind for the next 8 video.

[@angeliaklee]

I agree with the being frustrated with other’s lack of effort!! I always say, “if I can do it, so can you!” Lol it’s hard to not get irritated! I hate group projects for this very reason.

[@cindycallaham796]

YES! My husband and daughter will tell me I'm mad, when I'm not. They are both 2's... I'm expressing frustration. When I'm mad, it's a whole other level of decibels.

[@hkdwee4200]

That shit hurts though

[@mestimac]

That can feel like never being able measure up, though. Very unpleasant to be around someone and constantly wonder what you'll be criticized about next.

[@djhallmighty]

My brother's a Type 8... he hates the Enneagram... always talking about how it's not scientific or whatever... Which is ironic, huh? Hearing the Challenger challenging.

[@AbbeyHowe]

Evan Hall so funny! 😂

[@AbbeyHowe]

Hope he comes around on the enneagram though 🤔

[@mace3632]

As an 8 I read some "psychology experts" say that the enneagram was pseudoscience. Their arguments were rather weak - sure no 50 question test can perfectly characterize something as complex as a human being. But by analyzing core desires and fears it is perfectly reasonable that a system could be established which prescribes behavioral guidelines to individuals. Furthermore, I had quite a few people that I know well take an enneagram and it was accurate to their personalities as I knew them - aside from a couple things that were revealed to me but then confirmed by said friends to be accurate. Essentially, I trust my own inductive reasoning and my own anecdotal research over that of these "experts". Tell me where I'm wrong lol

[@AlanaL3]

Intensity is the core of my BEING!!!!!!!

[@AbbeyHowe]

all those exclamation points prove it!! 🤣

[@WesleyFilms43]

I'm a 9. My best friend is an 8. I laughed so hard at this. lol I'm already anticipating him explaining to me how this isnt him.

[@AbbeyHowe]

Hahaha so funny

[@octavianpopescu4776]

Well, it's not how we are... I'm an 8w9 and yes, the anger part is real, if I'm angry, I'm angry and that's it! I do swear at work if someone annoys me, regardless of how "unprofessional" it may come across. The nuance part... is iffy... yes and no... I do see a lot of nuance and I'm not that intense, but I do like to divide people into friends and enemies, because it makes planning/interacting with them so much easier. The authority part... again iffy... if someone wants to consult more people and debate... I can't stand that, just make a decision. A bad decision is better than no decision. If no one makes one, I will make one, regardless of hierarchy. It means they are unable to decide, so I have the authority to make the call. Just like the nuance part... it's about clarity. Clarity is good, clarity is the best and I hate feeling confused. There are so many meetings at work after which I leave thinking that it was all a waste of time and we decided nothing. And having to talk with others... I either let them decide (most of the time) or I decide alone. They should just tell me what to do, not explain all the philosophy behind the decision. I don't take control just for the sake of taking control. The only control I want is over myself. Also, I don't do it for minor stuff: like where to go out... I don't care... anywhere... And I definitely don't start ordering people around, unless there is an emergency and there is no time for debate.

[@WesleyFilms43]

@@octavianpopescu4776 yup... 👍🏾 lol

[@theajane6444]

I'm a 9 and my BOSS is an 8. Arg! So this video was both really, really funny and painful. (BTW, my 8 boss has a heart of gold. Truly. Like she'd ever let you forget that! 😉)

[@Talierau3]

I'm a 9 and my mom and sister are both 8s... a good time lmao. Grateful my mom's an 8, she's helped me own more of my 8 wing, rather than always defaulting to 9w1 :)

[@imaniinspires]

Lol I’m an 8w7 and literally I could relate to all of these. Especially the explosive one. Legit got SO PISSED that my family canceled our travel plans last week. After canceling my flight, they tell me the travel plans are back on. Like how are you so indecisive?!?

[@mace3632]

I don't know if I'd ever recover lol (8w7 here)

[@jadebroadnax3352]

Duuuude that’s unacceptable! who gon cancel and then REbook?!

[@CherryFizzArt]

This was ACTUALLY SICKENING- cuz I’ve had that EXACT conversation about SALAD- this was WAYYYY TO ACCURATE-

[@AbbeyHowe]

hehe love it!

[@horsthorstmann7614]

I don't eat that crap, too. Never. People think I'm strange, but I would rather die, than eating salad. :D

[@courtneyevans168]

So have I!!! 😂😂😂😂 She literally quoted me about the salad thing.

[@hazelcornell4311]

I'm an Enneagram 8. When I was in college, a bunch of women I knew were all sitting there eating salad. I said, "What, are we having some kind of competition to see who can eat the least satisfying meal possible, and in the scantiest portion sizes? No thanks." Then I sat down, and proceeded to dive into a cheeseburger and fries.

[@UdoADHD]

This is a great video! I am an 8. It’s not that I want control all the time - it’s just when things are moving too slow or there is confusion or indecision, I can’t take it and I assume leadership. If there is ALREADY strong leadership, I am very happy ☺️

[@charles9489]

True

[@BlainEnoch]

Yes. I really wish people understood that about us. My greatest pleasure is sitting back in silence and watching great leadership taking place. Unfortunately, it's an extremely rare pleasure.

[@JackieD3924]

Ditto!

[@kriyadragon]

100%! I love interacting with people who lead from the front and I defer totally to them if they are competent. The other 99% of the time I have to move things along as gently as I can haha

[@ThePosh_Parrot]

Yes!!! If it’s a good strong leader whom I already respect and trust in those situations I’m willing to go along with them and even be willing to step aside and learn something, if I don’t like or trust the leader though then I’m a huge pain in the ass to work with no doubt. If they’d just be competent though, even if I don’t love them as a person I can at least respect them, it’s the bad leaders who are indecisive or just plain don’t have a backbone that frustrate me

[@bresprague769]

This is 100% spot on for me as an 8, especially when I get super stressed and go to the unhealthy 5 traits.

[@AbbeyHowe]

Thanks Bre!

[@mydogisoscarthegrouch]

As an 8, I have been told over and over to "calm down" and relax, and definitely draw lines everywhere in my life. Black and white everything. And being somewhat insubordinate at work! My sister (a seven) calls me out all the time to admit when I'm wrong 😂😂

[@AbbeyHowe]

Melina Bossert 😂😂😂😂

[@katarinajordan3274]

Bro.... As eight, I can say, we have no chill

[@Sjudit84]

Everytime I start working somewhere, the first thing I say when introducing myself is "My most hated word is "chill out/calm down"...noone has ever calmed down in the history of the world from being told to calm down!"...seriously!!! :D

[@dxd813]

You know what I tell people who say calm down and relax? I tell them to shut the f*ck up and get out of my way.

[@manyfrogs]

#6 is why I struggle with routines because I mess it up once and feel like the whole world is over 😂

[@AbbeyHowe]

the all or nothing mindset can be really tough for maintaining grace with routine!

[@Mo-is9ko]

struggling with this RIGHT NOW. literally me.

[@alZiiHardstylez]

Dude. For real. I was hitting the gym day in, day out. I got sick and haven't been back for almost a fortnight. Sticking to a routine is easy but getting into a routine? Put a bullet to my head.

[@shariworden3212]

I was already kind of thinking my husband is an 8, but after watching this, I'm almost positive he is. I'd love it if he'd take the test but he's really busy with this takeover at work and monitoring a new security system for our apartment complex and besides... haha... I don't want the 20 minute lecture on how personality tests are a waste of time and how I should be spending my time instead. LOL. I'm a 4. I know.

[@dr.theresasnell7179]

I’m in a 4/8 marriage too!

[@Chaxbs]

How is this marriage going for you guys? I read a lot of negative comments about 4/8 couplings... I am getting to know an 8 and he’s amazing. I am a four... and it’s still a even a very young friendship... so we will see. But can you tell me a bit about it..?! The beginnings, how you knew they liked you, challenges you’re having, can the 4s be vulnerable about their soft side with the 8, without the 8 looking down on them.. what does the 8 do when the 4 gets moody/ depressed... appreciate your time on this!

[@maryprice8458]

@@Chaxbs A 4 friend of mine once said "4s are as intense as 8s, just internally so" I love that cause its so true, we balance each other out

[@Christine-j7n]

This is my husband’s response to lol. I’m just like that’s ok because I’m beginning to get an understanding you’re missing out on lol

[@zknight4481]

I’m seeing a lot of spouses of 8’s in these comments saying they’re 4’s. I wonder if there’s a natural attraction there. Now I need my partner to take the test 😅

[@jennygracefully]

I’m an 8 and I can still see nuances in some situations. I just don’t think nuances are always the answer. I guess that kinda affirms the whole black and white thing but I had to say something. (This was actually very type 8 of me, I’m ending it here)

[@FleurishOklahoma]

Oh wow, I am married to an 8 and never realized how true a LOT of this is. Lol. He's amazing and I love how he's never afraid to stand up for what's right.

[@robertrusso1341]

I’m an 8w7 and I was in tears watching this. I love this so much😂😂

[@savannabreazeal4579]

My husband is an 8. This is absolutely him. He always talks about how attractive I am when I'm feisty and not in the mood for his shit. I'm actually a 4 so our relationship is.....interesting. Haha. But, seriously, I swear to GODDD, the man creates conflict with me just because he likes that I challenge him and won't back down (orrrr I withdraw because I refuse to engage in pointless debates and it spurs him on even more). He hates being a follower, it's always someone else's fault (I don't allow him to get away with this logic lol), and anyone that is sensitive or emotional **cough**again, I'm a 4**cough** is a baby. I have to come in and remind him not everyone processes the same as him and help him tone it down. He does but it takes some...what do you know..."conflict" to do that. I literally have to stand there and say "now, go apologize for being harsh and demanding".

[@Retroboxmedia]

An 8 married to a 4. Teach me how you make that work! Impressed!

[@blueraven1156]

I'm also a 4 with a type 8 husband!

[@dragonwarriorxp2895]

As an eight, I love to express myself and even cause arguments (friendly ones, mostly), especially with my friends and family. But let me tell you, it's so annoying when they take it personally!

[@Farah95]

As an 8, I always think i do the right thing because i believe there is no particular way to do something specifically. No rules and no boundaries.

[@kdhomemom]

Why is it that I’m always the one who has to roll down my intensity to ‘fit in’? I feel like I have to wrap myself up in cotton wool and Saran Wrap to blend better into my surroundings! If people knew just half the things I don’t say so I can fit in and play nicely according to everyone else’s sensibilities!

[@AbbeyHowe]

Well said! Have you seen my video about female 8s???

[@ayishas4385]

Wow, this is uncannily accurate. I've been watching videos on the Enneagram since this afternoon, trying to figure out which I was, and have been surprised to find 8 coming out most dominantly. This video actually just cemented it for me. It does a good job of pinpointing the times when I realise that I've just been the worst version of me. These are not things I like about myself, but it's really useful to see them pointed out. Thanks for the fun, lighthearted, and TRUE depiction!

[@kammon48]

My husband and I are both 8’s! Pray for us 😂

[@madameproblemes6548]

Which one of you died by now? 😂

[@marim7784]

Yikes. I'm a 8w7 and would love to be with an 8.

[@annaramos9774]

My husband and I are too! Dear Lord help us all!

[@gunbirdx]

Holy shit, what does that even look like!?!?

[@МихаилШевелев-м4я]

Very explosive pair

[@MeiwahTorres1224]

i’m an 8w9 and this video is so cute! this was a good way for me to realize that i’ve grown a lot as a person. thanks !!

[@rebelsageperspectives]

These are so correct for me. 3 applied previously, but I have seriously worked on it. My fave thing about 8s is that we do lots of planning so things go smoothly. ~Rebel

[@alanhowe851]

Eights are Greats!

[@AbbeyHowe]

gotta love an eight!

[@jessicalutz0315]

Greights

[@khloecarver]

Alex Green What are you talking about... I’m an 8 and I’m not like that. I don’t make fun of people for being different than me. Yes, I get fustrated with people who don’t make good decisions, or don’t respect themselves, but I don’t run around making fun of people and torturing them.. This is what frustrates me, when other types think 8s are immoral monsters. I would never in a million years make fun of someone for being a different race or class than me, that’s just stupid.

[@kyracz5304]

I agree

[@gunbirdx]

@Alex Green sounds like this is coming from a place a little more personal.. hahaha, you ok bud?

[@maxchambers7902]

I’m an 8 and I used to just think everyone in the world thought the same way I do. It was incredibly frustrating. Now I understand a lot more about why I think the ways I do. I’m still always right, but at least now I know why☺️

[@MrManican]

As an Enneagram 8 who spent at least 20 years being unhealthy, I can completely relate to all of those negative traits and have shown them in spades more than a few times. After recently starting therapy, I've learned to examine my thoughts and how my words and intensity can impact those around me. I spend a great deal of time refocusing now to make sure I am building up good habits and good relationships and not just pursuing that "lust" mindset you talked about.

[@greensprout65]

MrManican, what a refreshing entry. I don't know what type I am, and don't really care, but I moved in with a woman who lives, eats, and breathes type 8. Our relationship for 9 months exhausted me, totally burnt me out. I suggested therapy, but her narcissist rage leveled at me was a response which was truly frightening. I moved out. Just left. How wonderful to read that you chose the sane approach and sought professional help. My best wishes to you.

[@LisaCapron]

I cannot wait until Arielle gets home from school so I can show her! (She’s my 14 year old 8w7.) I won’t bother with my 18 year old 8w9 daughter... she’s convinced I’m insane to even get to know all of this and she doesn’t need it because she’s already right about everything.... 😂

[@AbbeyHowe]

Haha such an 8! 😂 Thanks for watching and commenting, Lisa! You're the best!

[@darkphoenix6807]

You have two 8 daughters?! This is why I didn’t have kids. As an 8w7 I knew I’d have 8’s and it would be like herding velocaraptors. Of course I’d be the head one, until they unified and took me down. 😝

[@morgs0812]

I have a friend who hasn't done the enneagram but every single thing about her scream 8!! All of these are SO accurate it is eerie lol. What I love about her as an (unofficial) 8 is that once she befriends you, you are in her circle and she will defend you with her life.

[@eleonore-8969]

As a type 9 I feel like type 8 is the hardest to deal with for me. Creating intimacy by creating conflict?! It's the opposite for me, I create conflict by creating harmony and softness. And I dislike so much when people act dominant, bossy or rough to me. Or when I get criticised. While 8's do all of those. My husband is type 8 (as well as my father and sister). Now I feel like that's rather problematic and explains why things don't go so well😔 I'd be very interested in a video series like: 'as type X, how to deal with type Y' (specially the 'as type 9 how to deal with type 8' episode)🙂

[@writernotes]

I struggled with many of these things growing up (and still do when I'm not at my best). The trick to being a healthy 8 is recognizing that it's not a one person show. You create a lot more loyalty and success in your life when you raise others up. ❤️ All that confidence and energy can help people who struggle to find those qualities in themselves.

[@dawnschmitt3118]

So good any advice for a parent of a teen 15 yo ennneg 8? Its tough!

[@simonarnback6547]

I'm a type 8, and I've been waiting for this forever! ;D I had the biggest grin on for the entirety of the video! Great video Abbey! Love from Sweden!

[@AbbeyHowe]

Yay!! So glad it brought you joy, Simon. (and so freaking cool that you're watching from Sweden!! I've always wanted to go there!) Thanks for watching and commenting... I really appreciate it! 💜

[@kassikotkoski8043]

I think you did lovely, with the exception of the fit throwing about the cookies. I (as an 8) would never get that emotional about it. I would just be done. Maybe that's just me though. Either way, I adore your videos.

[@purefectyourskin]

Same

[@michellecooley1760]

Same

[@cindycallaham796]

@@michellecooley1760 same

[@dragonwarriorxp2895]

I'd be surprised to see an eight cry in public. I think eights mostly express anger and excitement. It's not just you.

[@DarthLetalis]

I’ve been diagnosed as an 8 by a good friend of mine. I watched this video with a furrowed brow and waiting to unleash a “How wrong can you be?” Comment...... but you took the wind out of my sails 🤣😂 I don’t think the enneagram explains EVERYTHING about a person, but it’s a decent baseline for what kind of reactions you can expect from different types. Since discovering the enneagram I use it when approaching my employees. I know what buttons to press. My favorite description of an 8 is “The person most likely to run into a burning building to save someone, but also the most likely to have started the fire in the first place” 😂 this was an enjoyable video 👍 well done

[@AbbeyHowe]

Sounds like you have a perceptive friend! Also, I love that quote!

[@marim7784]

Diagnosed. LOL

[@thescarecrowcat]

I'm a 4 (Cancer). My boss is an 8 (Capricorn). He has no off switch and it worries me. We run a very busy restaurant together. He inspires and uplifts his employees like no Chef I've ever seen. We all triumphantly follow him into battle because we have absolute faith that he's got our backs. And he does.

[@daniellthornton4218]

Oh yeah my brothers an 8 and he never takes responsibility for his wrongdoings. He’s an unhealthy 8 so I don’t judge all 8s by him but he’s an asshole and is so mean and dominating of my 6 sister in law. And tries to be of everyone else too! Ugh 8s can be frustrating. That line “you’re so sensitive” that’s his favorite

[@josephaleensalvador8211]

What I like about having an 8 wing is the courage, determination, and fire to strive through life whatever challenge is thrown at me. Yep, that aggression could go out of hand, and stress towards 5 makes us more distrustful of anyone around. Hahaha, anyway, a toast to another good video! 😄🥂

[@Yoshimetzen]

I came up as an 8 but also close 5.I resonate more with a 5 because I had to learn how to be an 8 because of growing up with a narcissistic family member.On the Meyers Brigs I am an INFJ.This is all fascinating to me

[@mikeburnard]

Being in a business meeting and ending it by saying "i'm going back to work" is going to be my new favourite thing. That was 10/10. Thank you.

[@jessicayang7042]

my boyfriend is a 7w8, he's definitely the most protective person I've ever know, he has strict moral standards and he's so not afraid to be challenged, he welcomes conflicts as they somehow bring energy to him, the deep conflict between the ethic values and actual actions they are capable of is probably one of the most difficult thing they need to deal with. its easier when their own values match the mainstream society, or if they dont actually get caught up with the dissatisfaction of the society, but its really hard sometimes because thats the source of their energy: conflicts. they can see the world clearly like looking into a mirror, but sometimes the reflection is too strong and they can get hurt too

[@TheFangGirl]

hahahhahahah i'm a 8w7 - I relate to this so much and trying to be less aggressive. I'm an ENFP 8w7. I am super light hearted and quirky, but when I'm pissed or want to be in control, I can bulldoze people...I'm learning to be better.

[@Retroboxmedia]

I'm an 8w7 and you certainly nailed it. One of the biggest and most helpful things I've had to hone in is the ability to listen for, look for and obey social cues and boundaries from others. It doesn't come naturally to me but in sharpening this skill, I've preserved and enriched friendships that I would have otherwise exasperated. I also have a high need for detail and clarity. Very high. I've learned to preface my tendency to ask questions with others by often saying, "I know there may be a limit to what you prefer to share, let me know when we get there, but I'd appreciate the opportunity to ask some more questions so I can understand things." I find it's helpful when I recognize with others that a boundary exists and that I will respect it. Again --- clarity!

[@EllePlowPlow]

First time watching this channel and I’ll be honest, as an 8 i was hella nervous... BUT this was so well done and spot on! I was either nodding my head perfusely or laughing (because of how true it is) throughout the whole video. Well done!

[@AbbeyHowe]

Welcome aboard Elle!

[@EllePlowPlow]

Abbey Howe thanks!

[@norseamerican5301]

I'm an 8w7 and when I'm happy I feel like punching holes in the wall. This video and the one about 7s were great!

[@katie0698]

I am a 9w 8 and it is such an internal conflict. Lol. I got that conflict free outside but a fiery burning fury inside

[@AbbeyHowe]

I've always wondered what it would be like to be a 9w8 because there's so much internal conflict there!

[@rakelejdestig1403]

Oh yes! Feel you // Another 9w8

[@AlanaL3]

I’m an 8w9 :)

[@yourneighbor7260]

Me too!!! It adds to the indecisiveness in me and of being torn apart inside. Specially on situations where it is better to be assertive but after i let go of the assertion i immediately revert to being "chill" so as to keep the peace and not offend people. 😂😂😅 many of my co-workers would call me moody and even though we've been working for a long time, there are still times when they get surprised by the way i act or the things i say.

[@sosooya4895]

Yep, me too! I always seems calm & chill for a moment, just to snap out right after. Being able to release my 'anger' make me feel better ^-^

[@dididothat4495]

I have next to no attachment to this Enneagram concept. All I know is these are things I've said and done, repeatedly. This is essentially my life and frame of existence. As far as "needing to be right" a lot of that can sometimes come from the fact that I have very high standards for what I consider to be acceptable evidence towards me being wrong. I'll rarely if ever deny I did something wrong that I did do wrong. I am incredibly intentional in all my behavior. If I did something, I intended it that way. If it was the wrong way, or it was a way that caused problems, that is where defensiveness comes in, since I am a neurotic perfectionist, and also suffer from severe black and white thinking. If I admit to the mistake, than I am a mistake ubiquitously. I am very passionate, with strong ideals, and if I view something as worth fighting for, I will fight for it until I am given significant evidence that It is no longer valuable or personally beneficial to fight for it. As a result, if you're my friend, and you are harmed by someone else, then I'm usually very particular and exhaustive about making sure the problem is dealt with in any manner that best resolves what happened to my friend. I'll often explain in detail why I view something a certain way(such as the salad example in the video), because It comes from a field of genuine compassion the person I am talking to. Hypothetically, if I'm explaining to you why I feel that women eating salads is asinine to watch weight, after you say you enjoy eating them, I am explaining it to you not to be right, or correct, but because I genuinely fear that If I don't tell you this, and if I don't successfully change your views, than your quality of life will decline, and life will just be less enjoyable overall. Because I'm an Idealist and want the best possible life for every possible person, I feel a strong sense of duty and responsibility to ensure I contribute to that Ideal in whatever small way I can mange. I don't want you to suffer, so I attempt to change your view. I take everything in life very seriously, everything is a big deal, even having fun and relaxing, so as a result of that, it's hard to actually conceptualize a different worldview where you can just... accept anything less than the ideal or best potential outcome. If I spiral into depression due to stress, I completely collapse. I have a very strong ego, but if a weak point is hit, I rapidly decompose. I talk to no one, advise no one, help no one, do nothing, and feel nothing but pain, regret, and guilt over my failure to foresee and prevent what happened that upset me. Being an Eight is a very fulfilling life. I would not change it for the world. It is hard to walk the fine line between accepting the traits I've stated, while still avoiding harm of individuals, but this is truly where I feel most comfortable. In my case, Eights are passionate, unparalleled Idealists, with enough internalized stress and pressure to help them actualize their Ideals into Reality.

[@AshleyHackstock]

My dad is an 8, and I love his generosity with those he loves, as well as his unwavering support and belief in me throughout my life. He does have the intense and fiery nature, but he also has a big heart (that he guards very closely lol.) I'm a 4, and he has encouraged me to be more bold and to go after what I want in life ❤

[@AbbeyHowe]

That is awesome Ashley! Beautifully said!

[@AshleyHackstock]

@@AbbeyHowe Thank you! ❤

[@pianoteacher365]

As an 8, my critique is that I would not be ‘crying’ or showing that much emotion while berating my loser friend for not following through 😊 When we are explaining to others why they are wrong and we are right, there are never tears. Crying is for babies.

[@AbbeyHowe]

haha, thanks for the feedback!

[@nicawalsh196]

I thought the same about too much emotion for an 8!

[@horsthorstmann7614]

Especially not argueing about any nonsense details, I agree, that's wrong, we don't do that meaningless shit. It might look that way to a non-8 from the outside. Seeing them as unlogic, quarreling psychopath. If an 8 will call you an asshole, there is absolutely a sincere reason for that.

[@sisterrabbit9115]

I’m an 8. Husband and I watched this together and laughed. Almost like couples therapy. This was unnervingly accurate.

[@lauraangel2044]

Your personality is uplifting. You got me exactly right. I'm SO ASSERTIVE, PERSUASIVE, YET IM HEALTHY ANDMINDFUL. HAHA. WHAT 16 PERSONAKITY ARE YOU. ENFJ, ENFP, ESFP.

[@franscine1232]

I've actually shat on salads so many times in the past...very accurate video lol The only time I've ever eaten salads was when I was all-consumed by my desire to look a certain way. It's always all or nothing with 8s.

[@AbbeyHowe]

there's so many more fun (and healthy!) things to eat!

[@franscine1232]

@@AbbeyHowe for sure!

[@josiahvanfleet]

I am an 8 wing 7, I think most stuff is spot on, only thing for me is I tend to internalize and bottle stuff up a lot, and never like to deal with emotions

[@madameproblemes6548]

I'm madly in love with an 8 woman and now I watch everything and anything I can to understand her mentality and have a healthy relationship with her but it's hard work 😂

[@purefectyourskin]

This makes me laugh. I am just learning about Enneagrams and going through the book you base your videos off of. My husband just keeps saying; “Yep. That’s you. That is 100% you.” Everyone always says I’m so argumentative and love confrontation. I’m like I don’t *love* confrontation, I’m just not afraid of it. It is interesting to get to see all of this though because now I am beginning to understand why people always say I’m intimidating, which I never understood because *I* always thought I was nice. Lmao. My best friend of 19 years (who is a 2) says, “I think I’d be afraid of you. But I’m not because I’m saved by the grace of being Italian and being feisty when I have to.”

[@lauren12]

This was great! Especially the arguing about the car, so accurate lol... I feel like I just learned a lot about my husband! Lol. He and my dad are both 8s and I think you did a great job although I don’t think they would cry or show emotion when upset with someone else (I’ve never seen it lol) they tend to either explode or say one or two word answers or silent treatment... they also are way more direct and right to the point, not a lot of sentences unless it’s something they’re very very passionate about or when they’re telling a story. Their stories are always (in my experience) very detailed, but general conversations are short and to the point. I’m not an enneagram expert this is just my personal experience. ♥️

[@sabrinaclift1180]

Sounds to me like they might both be introverted 8s (8w9s, in other words). Extraverted 8s (the 8w7s) are far more talkative and tend to be more outwardly expressive. Case in point, I know an 8w9 and I'm an 8w7, and the difference is very noticeable in terms of how much each of us talks. I also show far more emotion than she does.

[@lauren12]

Sabrina Clift so interesting!! Good to know!

[@horsthorstmann7614]

Also something which is absolutely non-8: illogical, unreasonable, stupid. It's quite the opposite of an 8, I think. Plainly wrong. I might have a strong opinion, but wouldn't talk bullshit like that. Ever.

[@beckyburgess3143]

Lol. Type 8 here! Very accurate and made me laugh. I do like almost all of those things and have to keep myself in check. lol. Thank goodness I married a patient man who let's me win all the fights and accepts my half-ass apologies.

[@Arahiriel]

The me, having discovered Enneagram and hour ago : what a load of *** The me, 25 seconds in the video : is she talking about me? I feel she's talking about me. Why is she exposing me like that?

[@kevinr3866]

The give me your address part is spot on, it gave me a smile. Recently, my bro was getting harassed by a friend of his. His inbox is full of text spam. And I told him, if you continue being an arsehole to my younger brother, I'll come looking for you. lmao

[@osana6505]

I'm cracking up!!! I'm an 8w7 and this is totally me...

[@gracebennion2000]

Yup. You hit the nail right on the head. Love your sense of humour. I really needed to laugh after feeling drawn, hung and quartered by an enneagram 8. Think I need therapy on how to survive ... lol.

[@glendaw5221]

Loved this. I’m a 7. I love all of the comments by 8’s. Y’all all sound very healthy to me because you can laugh at this video. Headed now to watch the 7 video. Hope I can be as good natured as you guys are.

[@annaramos9774]

Bahaha! just before you said that “If you’re an 8 you’re probably typing something to tell me where I am wrong...”-well I hadn’t actually started typing, but was about to cut the video short and do so-guess you got me! Good job!

[@barbaraclemons8753]

So funny and sooo true. I get so exasperated when I can't see down the middle. LOL

[@greekfreak1436]

I’m an 8 and for the record, even though I act like I’m always right and never at fault, I don’t believe that and I actually hate myself. I’m not as proud as I project

[@AbbeyHowe]

I wonder if that's a common thought .... any other 8s want to chime in?

[@user-np2xh7kw4n]

me too, thats why i say that its not that im (8w9) is right, but they are just wrong. im actually very self degratory too. (mostly when people say im being insensitive about their feelings)

[@jennadawn]

I am split on trying to decipher whether I am an 8 or 5 because I resonate highly with both. It is driving me nuts! I keep reading and seeing if there is a correlation and there is to a degree in terms of dealing with disconnection of emotions... This is why I don't have friends 😔

[@snowintptype8w9thelogician21]

"double betrayed" hahaha so true

[@AbbeyHowe]

one of my fave lines

[@horsthorstmann7614]

I would never say anything stupid like that. There might be two types of eights, and the one in this video might be the emotionally unstable "8Moron" type?

[@BeyondFilmSchool]

Oh man this was me in a nutshell at my worst 🤦🏻‍♀️😆 The angry thing was so spot on.

[@otessacrandell4213]

This is the most accurate shit I have ever seen in my LIFE. My best friend is an 8, she's dating an 8, and I'm a 6. I could literally replay 10 scenarios for every single trait that relates!

[@lanilucas3641]

Abbey, as a healthy 8 I am able to see the humor of your videos and portrayals of the 8 and I have to say, “Spot On and HILARIOUS!” I have sent many of your videos to my friends and family and we all enjoy them thoroughly!! Keep it up!

[@AbbeyHowe]

lani lucas thank you Lani!!! ♥️♥️♥️

[@katherinegale5237]

This was really well done. Although, I will offer the alternative to the comment about how 8s in a relationship can do great things, it can also be an absolute hellfire of aggression and struggle for control if either or both are unhealthy. My relationship with another 8= passionate hellfire. My current relationship with a 5= surprisingly successful.

[@TheSleep124]

I'm a Type 8 and I loved every single second.... No Lies Detected (and we do get better with time too and control especially being a type eight forever.... But age definitely matters)

[@alexiscain7756]

Ahh! My 14 year old brother is an 8 and I have NEVER in my entire life seen something that describes him so perfectly😂 he was always challenging me when I was in charge/watching them and it took all my willpower not to strangle him😂

[@dannymorris9038]

Have you been watching me? I’m an 8 and you nailed it. (just now learned brain types were a thing).

[@michaellippard6107]

Dear Heavens, but your voice and delivery are enough to set anyone's teeth on edge.

[@sarahrink2539]

Oml the pitch one is toooooo good

[@Elg783]

Legit me when you said "I already sent it in, because I knew we'd be behind...." 😂😂😂

[@TamaraLove108]

well, my partner who is an 8, says " i have nothing to say" in response to this video. you nailed it again abbey!

[@hernandezb2178]

I’m usually perceived as “too direct”, I recognize that when I feel wrong doing I tell people exactly what I’m thinking like I don’t have patience for passive aggressive behavior. I can take the hit bring it on! 😅 I remember in a leadership meeting, I openly said I enjoy conflict 😊 and people laugh. Control issues yes you are in! There’s nothing that freaks me out more than losing control and that’s why I never was hooked in any type of drugs or alcohol, I drink from time to time but it Bugs me big time when people can’t control their issues ❤ I’m a challenger big time

[@marishaten7399]

I am ashamed to say I am guilty of doing most of these things. Trying to improve, but still got a long way to go. Great video, as per usual!

[@darkphoenix6807]

I loved the Doctor Who hat and laughed so hard when she screamed “Turkey!”

[@sprintwithcarlos]

As an 8 if you betray me as in the Oreos story and I find about it I won’t cry. Probably I will tell you what I think about your action, turn around and leave forever. On the other hand, withdrawing when stressed, challenging authority and hating micromanaging is quite accurate. The video is vert good, thanks!

[@adosisjessyw96]

Don’t apologize for speaking the truth! I know, I know, such an 8 thing to say 😂 you hit the nail on the head. Looking forward to the 9 type (that’s what my boyfriend is)!

[@AbbeyHowe]

9 coming soon!! Thanks for watching and commenting, Jessy! 💜

[@manyfrogs]

Me too that's what my boyfriend is also haha

[@HiiIamJu]

I totally used to be that one 8 that couldn't admit she was wrong EVER, luckily surrounding myself with 7s and 9s has helped me to be more relaxed and less angry and defensive all the time. It's still hard to do but I'm working on it

[@christyloowho2]

I find as an 8 people manager that I am about balance.. because it’s fair and just, and when my leaders aren’t as concerned with balance, but instead make decisions based on other factors ($$ or personal preference), I find that I want to buck authority in order to maintain or initiate that balance/ justice that I see that they are lacking. You can imagine how well that goes over in corporate.

[@trashcan0177]

I'm an 8. Just found out and this video is me to a T. I try to be aware of some of the annoying things I do and take it down a level. Like when I get angry I try very hard to take a step back. Great video and I appreciate the distinction between healthy and unhealthy 8's for some of these.

[@maggieheermann4124]

I can relate to the last scene. I have felt like people in charge of certain things could do better.

[@maggieheermann4124]

I would say an 8's strength is encouraging people to be the best version of themselves but their weakness is trusting people who they call friends.

[@ashleynicolebenavente5988]

Yup, went to an all blue themed special event in SF. I just decided to wear yellow. I was the only one lmao 😂

[@memyself6659]

Hm. I’m most definitely an 8 but the anger thing isn’t true.I do push it down till it makes me physically ill. ( That’s just how I’ve been taught) it REAlLY doesn’t work for me. It’s probably why I have death,high BP.

[@vnusinlibra3982]

"I am here to help you find you" My Scorpio Rising: 👁👄👁 yes!

[@rosecindy29]

Do you plan on doing the types with wings? I'm a 4w5.

[@_love_loraine_]

I’ve never felt more seen 😂

[@snowintptype8w9thelogician21]

pls make a "8 in relationships" and "how to love an 8" video

[@AbbeyHowe]

Coming soon!

[@TheKgal89]

@Frank James Timmy seems to be annoying A LOT of people 😂

[@AbbeyHowe]

Did Frank James talk about a Timmy too?? That is hilarious!!

[@TheKgal89]

@@AbbeyHowe LOL yes. He always has a Timmy in his Enneagram sketches. For example - kzbin.info/www/bejne/oYenc6xuqLd3pKc

[@andreagreenwood93]

It's always the ESTJ who gets annoyed with Timmy... And coincidentally ESTJ are often Enneagram 8 😄

[@jeremyheartriter2.063]

I was thinking the same 🤣🤣🤣

[@leenaalghamdi620]

I’m an eight type I only become “annoying” when i feel like those people are close to me otherwise idc for other people ..AND it’s not about control more than it is about doing the right thing