ENNEAGRAM Type 5 | Annoying Things Fives Do and Say

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Enneagram Type 5: Annoying Things Enneagram Fives do and Say
• ENNEAGRAM Type 5 | Ann...
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[@AbbeyHowe]

Hi enneagram 5's! 👋🏽 Did any of these resonate with you? Let me know! ⬇️

[@smokeyimpala10]

Hey! That's my type! Haha Great video! Pretty spot on too. Great job!

[@AbbeyHowe]

@@smokeyimpala10 Yay! Glad I did your type! Thanks for watching and commenting! 💜

[@klekellilarsonesthetics2329]

100%!

[@calliepartridge6702]

i really related to these, especially the hoarding time and energy part..... oops

[@nicholasjh1]

kind of. though I'm not sure I'm qualified to say. 5 is in my tritype but it's not obvious if it's first or second. they definitely seemed over the top and non-subtle though i think that was the intention. and I was also more likely to be detached from feelings in my personal life... not in watching a movie. that one might be off base

[@dblackthornne1385]

As a type 5 I find that I can understand other people's emotions better than I can understand my own. I can take in contextual clues and process information that tells me what another person is feeling, but I have a difficult time processing my own emotions and usually come at it from a detached, intellectual mindset to avoid confusion and pain.

[@AbbeyHowe]

Ohh, interesting. Thanks for giving your perspective; I struggled with understanding type 5s the most so far, so I think I was a bit off-base with that Marley & Me example. Thanks for commenting and watching! 💜

[@lorimedders354]

YES! I agree 100%... others will come to me for counseling (and I am NOT a counselor) because they find in me an active listener, a level headed (mostly) responder, a good reader of people and circumstances, and a confidant (no way am I ever going to gossip or use info shared against them later). But my own feelings? Those are difficult to understand, and I spend a lot of time self reflecting, trying to figure me out.

[@kelseyrickey978]

Lori Medders Every once in a while, I’ll slip up and use someone’s private info as an “example” or to “provide context” 🤦🏻‍♀️ Then I have to back track and explain that my intention is only ever good or incredibly neutral! My zoomed-out view of the world can really get me in trouble sometimes hahaha.

[@nomadine85]

Yes!! It took me a lifetime to learn that in order to avoid confusion I need to word things in a way which the other person will understand rather than in a way which is objectively accurate and precise. It hurts me to do it deep inside but man, the effectiveness of getting the factual point across (despite using a non-factual approach) has been painfully worth it, I’ve come to realise.

[@nomadine85]

I also often find that I am easily manipulated by people who know how I tick as a five. They’ll say things like “only you are smart enough to deconstruct my feelings” and our fear of being useless and incompetent puts us in the position of expending a lot of energy on resolving other people’s issues because by doing so we are satisfying our need to be useful and resourceful and solution oriented. As a result I’ve come to hoard my energy because it’s how I go on the defensive to not get manipulated.

[@riskyprincess8296]

I checked because I was curious and the type 5 video has almost twice as many views as the other types' videos. WE REALLY DO BE INVESTIGATORS

[@AbbeyHowe]

Madison Affourtit this is so real 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@phenomenalmarie]

🤣 because I’m a 5 and I’ve watched it twice

[@prsguitars6902]

LOL. This legit made me laugh. It's so true

[@unholyscreeching3342]

i feel called out-

[@RageNukes]

I bet the 5s also watched a lot of the other types videos too

[@austinryder9028]

Enneagram 5, INFJ here and yes! Mostly... the “let me read 50000 articles online about this simple, trivial thing” is 100% accurate

[@desmondalmada6878]

Me and Wikipedia 👋🏼

[@safaetaji7887]

me

[@marioathan99]

Enfp type 4 here, where are you? We must marry ahahahah

[@dosgardeniasparati]

Me and I'm doing my PhD!

[@awol.oper8r]

Also Type 5/INFJ. INFJ and INTP seem most common for 5

[@lazxrev]

Any other fives and INTPs out there?

[@AbbeyHowe]

Find your tribe!

[@ria6038]

Here

[@Lolpy-fo8ui]

Here 🖐

[@Draxelana08]

This is just... wow

[@elijahuribe8762]

✋

[@yacnu6532]

As a five, I don't usually find an excuse to get out of social events. I kinda just disappear.....And people hardly notice.

[@generalrendar7290]

Straight facts. When they do notice it's after a "Hey, where's Perry?" comment.

[@brandonmshrock]

One thing I do want to say. Some people may not notice but the people who truly love and care about you will always notice

[@olyasorokina3780]

100% disappear without saying anything because if you try to gently inform the host you’re leaving they will make your life a living hell by trying to stop you in every way they know how.

[@Alyssav-90]

And then people say: "You weren't there last night were you"

[@ChaoticNeutralMatt]

​Sooner rather than later, but I'd add some flexibility with that statement myself

[@kailah9349]

Enneagram 5: I’m constantly apologizing for making others feel “rejected” because of my detachment. But it’s seriously out of self preservation. So if anyone becomes too “needy” for me or draining then I can start to begin feeling resentful when I’m around them. Try being an INTJ AND Enneagram 5! Life, systems, and concepts are so much more interesting than people. Also no drama.

[@AbbeyHowe]

yep, no drama 🦙 is a good thing! thanks for the thoughtful comments Kailah!

[@manuel_winde]

I’m intj-a (5w4) and remember when I was dating for a while that a few really beautiful and intelligent women would suddenly spike my “spidey senses” with attention seeking, neediness or drama. My current long term girlfriend (enfp for what it’s worth) was so self sufficient and confident we took ages to get together but it was just healthy (and grown up) because we were both happy as we were.

[@tabascofaith]

Also a 5 and a INTJ!

[@Bassic]

Enneagram 5 + INTP here. Human relations = a nightmare.... :/

[@CandaceNDiaye]

YES. INTJ and 5 here as well. As much as I try I really struggle to understand those who are hurt or offended by seemingly everything. Not to be harsh to anyone who sees themselves in this but it’s draining.

[@misstigermilk]

A 5 would never emotionally exclaim " My house is on fire!" to leave a party. They would make a quiet excuse and go. I think maybe this is a dramatic 4's interpretation of a 5 at a party? ;)

[@msprettymaze]

That one is honestly a 4 behavior lol

[@michellecstai]

lol agree.... As a 5 I would inch myself towards the door, discreetly wave to the host and scram lol

[@AbbeyHowe]

true, true

[@uncanny_bassman]

Exactly

[@trevorsmith8950]

I don't identify with the social anxiety in that one either. I'm leaving because I'm exhausted, not necessarily because I'm overwhelmed.

[@mindybailey9256]

5w4 and I definitely cry when animals die in movies and I have my own emotions. However, if someone is having an emotional breakdown in front of me I have empathy, but I have no clue what to do. Do I hug? Do I pat back? Do I give solution? Run away? So I end up standing there kinda frozen and wide eyed. I’m working on it. 🤣🤣

[@AbbeyHowe]

Thanks for sharing Mindy! Fives are such good listeners and sometimes that's all someone needs when they are emotional so I'm sure they feel your empathy, hugs or not!

[@Thelittleclipstore]

Oh my exactly my thoughts !as a 5w4

[@lyzellee1334]

lol we're exactly same. Since I was six and with this movie I watched "The Land before Time" with the dinosaurs' lives very hard, i couldn't stand watching any movies anymore with animals in it because I know for sure it'll just break my heart in the end or there is always a part in it that's very heartbreaking yet I sometimes find myself that I have indifference with dealing human emotions as it's too intense for me that I don't know exactly what to do.

[@UrMom-xn1bm]

You just described me exactly 😂😬

[@issy53]

samee

[@patty4939]

5 here. The avarice part is pretty right on. I always calculate how much energy I'm going to have to share before an engagement. And the thought alone is overwhelming =-(

[@AbbeyHowe]

so interesting! thanks for sharing!

[@angstyely7505]

kinda late but this is so relatable it hurts. I hate having to think about whether I should befriend someone or not, go out or even just send someone a text. I'm always thinking "what if I can't handle it later". it's a real a struggle. I wish I wasn't a 5 tbh :')

[@mastermindset1]

5! I hoard time and energy. To avoid being thrown into a situation where I dont have enough for what is needed of me. That why I hate surprises from birthday parties to disguised incompetence (suprising me feel like disrespect). I probably couldnt be surprised anyway (obviously). But the anidote to avarice is to remind myself that time and energy are abundant and by hoarding/cherising them so much I am underming my own abilty to adapt, create, and contribute.

[@mehdishishehbor5945]

@@angstyely7505 That is so true. I feel you. 5s have a hard time with this social world, especially 6s 7s and even 3s. I think there is a fear of getting overwhelmed with people's demands. I think 5s need to change their mind from saving time/energy to fun activities. For example, when you are invited to a party that you don't know almost everybody, instead of focusing on whether you can handle meeting so many new faces and what to say and etc., think about how much fun you would have if you go to a party.

[@jeremyfarley6650]

When I was younger my "avarice" caused me to emotionally cut off love ones off in a very callus way, like they never existed.

[@cesarrodriguez9051]

I love how the comment section is full of paragraphs by 5s 😂 we have a lot to say lol

[@msprettymaze]

I’ve also observed that while scrolling and I love that for u guys lol

[@jeremyfarley6650]

And from the comments I read, we are very supportive of each other.

[@SanctifiedLady]

Lol! And we are reading the ones with the most Ike's...

[@iamthisiam]

😰🥴😱

[@sourgrapes7482]

Oh my gosh yes! Never read a more true sentence in my life. 5s have a reputation for being quiet, but we have a lot to say if you get us on the right subject. I'm constantly in trouble for writing too much (I think 5s are even more "talkative" when writing -- no humans involved but ourselves; we don't interact with the reader). I once wrote a 3000 word essay when the assignment called for 500... had to rewrite it on a subject I was less talkative about to get it down to size.

[@akren86]

As a 5, I find I can easily read and understand other people's emotions, but through an analytical lens. However, I feel like my own emotions are so deeply buried that I can't find the energy to explore myself and would rather investigate the world around me. That said, I melt into an absolute emotional mess when someone actually understands me on a deep level. Like, they've uncovered that buried emotion and are showing it to me in the same way I like finding new topics and showing them to others. They've gone where I've been too scared or worried to go in my self.

[@simonetozaharieva]

This is very well said I feel quite like what you describe.

[@hickiveasler]

I like what you say about an analytical lense, but I feel like I'm that way with myself and others. Someone will be feeling something and I'll be all "You feel this way because xyz" and I'm usually right. With myself, I'll feel something and be all "Gah! A feeling! Why am I feeling this? Must analyze!" lol

[@drsheev7413]

Type 5 here. Thats exactly how I am and how I feel right down to the letter.

[@ryleecurtis2189]

Facts. I am the same way. I have a journal that I recently read and I noticed that I repeatedly state that I don't know anyone who relates to me on a deep level. I think I've only known 2 people who do.

[@miloszaric4334]

Am I the only one who can't relate to this. I'm extremely introspective, I can read other people emotions but that's tireing and sometimes dangerous since I can absorb those emotions. Soo for me intorspection is much more interesting. And for me "analitical lense" is just one part and the other is emotional lense. And everything is connected with intuition and trust in oneself. That's why I've never been in a toxic relationship(had few people try lol). I think they interpreted my easy detachment as a sign of trauma?! It's just a defence mehanism, if you decide to "get me", you aint getting anything, It's just gonna be "access denied". Aka. I'm going to refuse to prosses it. And the puzzle is 2 complex to anyone to brake in with just "faked emotions"... As a infj 5w4 am I crazy? Asking for a friend

[@lorimedders354]

Thanks for these videos! I am a 5, and while several of the vignettes resonate with me a bit, you might consider: 1. Most 5's develop insights from their investigating, not just facts. So they're more likely to share patterns they've noticed over tons of observations than to spew facts. A 5 is likely to be concerned that a few facts aren't insightful enough, so they aren't worth sharing. 2. Every 5 I know, including me, spends most of their mental time in the future, anticipating it, worrying about it, and/or planning for it. That's why we run into things... you can't expect us to be present in the here and now AND be in the future at the same time, for goodness sake! (My husband finds this the most annoying but also endearing thing about me.) 3. A 5 might suddenly verbalize a super strong opinion, prediction or speculation about something, and because it is sudden others may find it jolting or think the 5 "pulled it out of nowhere." But the 5 has been mulling (maybe even obsessing) on it for weeks or months, and is simply excited to FINALLY have pieces together a useful insight or decision from all that observing, analyzing and mind mapping. 4. When a 5 sits on the sidelines they really are "going to school" on whatever they're watching. They are the most likely, for instance, to stand around at a party, in the corner, but be totally engrossed in watching body language, facial expressions and eavesdropping on conversations to try to figure out a person's story (or even to try to figure out which enneagram type each person is). And they'll do this, not as an "ah hah, I've got you pegged!" but just for their own learning and thus enjoyment. You are spot on, in my opinion, about 5's second guessing themselves, lacking confidence and likely assuming others are as qualified or more qualified than they are.

[@AbbeyHowe]

Wow, Lori! 👏👏 Thank you so much for these well considered and insightful observations! I will keep them in mind when I make future videos about 5s.

[@Amanda-xc5fv]

omg the last one is spot on

[@Maydenne]

Awesome comment and I agree! The person ranting about musicals in the video sounds like the moments I unveil my findings to my partner or parents 😂 We articulate fully fleshed out statements of meaning based on the dots we connected during research for a solid conclusion 👏

[@CoachAhava-0000]

❤️‍🔥 Spot on. I may be contemplating something for years. Learning about it from different directions and at different depths. Often, I find that facts themselves can only tell you so much. You're really looking at a story of information which created the fact. Maybe we are sensitive to that story differently than other types. 🤔

[@ariel-sc4en]

I have to observe people in multiple social settings and in intimate ones before deciding if they will be someone I accept as a friend and invest my hoarded emotions into. I have 2 friends who I trust, and will give up my time for. There are multiple people however that I'm friendly with, but they do not truly know or understand me as I keep myself blocked off emotionally from them, because I do not have the energy to invest in that friendship

[@AbbeyHowe]

Hi Ariel! Thanks for your comment... I always enjoy hearing other enneagram type's perspectives, especially on friendship!!

[@stephannygildesucher6198]

I totally identify with this comment. Friends and family know that I would do anything for them, but it takes me a long time to build new relationships until I trust the person. Question, I also identify with 8s. Can you be more than one number?

[@aprilhunt-vail9071]

Identify

[@hosannachild]

ariel yes, well said!

[@hosannachild]

Stephanny Gil de Sucher 5s move to 8 when confident.

[@Rishiig]

The best way I would put being an INTP/Type 5 would be this: We were born, and escorted off the planet to Mars (or insert whatever planet) to live among robots. Then after we grew up, we were escorted back to Earth to live out the rest of our lives. Naturally, being around robots, we didn't really have the ability to fully understand all the nuances and irrationality that being around other humans would entail. When we tried to just go with the flow of things, we realized we got weird stares. When we jumped into things, we were scolded for our initiatives. Or at least, that's what we end up remembering; the time we baked cookies and made someone's day is canceled out by the fact that someone else commented that the cookies tasted funny. As such, we ended up obsessively trying to figure out how humans 'work', by observing and putting into practice the countless hours of analysis and pattern recognition that we picked up on our parent planet of robots. Also, because Earth feels like a vastly strange and exotic planet, that research ends up veering all around the place to try to uncover ALL the secrets of the world, at the expense of actually interacting with these 'strange' humans. If someday we manage to research a formula or methodology for interacting with other humans, we would finally start practicing it... Only to get bored of the same process and result, and turn back to trying to figure out more about the world. I had to study flirtation just to be able to start talking to women. Not even attracted to; just women in general. Case in point. Being around robots, we naturally learnt that feelings didn't really help in our (then) society, so we learnt to treat it as a signal instead of a driving force. So when encountering other humans who are expressedly emotional (generally more extraverted), we 'channel our inner robot' and try to analyze the situation and come up with a solution using the emotion as a signal. (Also, we wish the other person would have already process the emotion first before coming to us, because we already have trouble processing our own deep emotions.) TL;DR - We feel like humans raised by robots, who suddenly have to figure out how to act like humans.

[@AbbeyHowe]

this is truly a work of art

[@fashionforwarddd]

This is such a good explanation! I am a 6w5 and an enfp so I dont identify with your explanation but i completely understand it. This is a perfect description of how an intp 5 would feel

[@Stargatechevron7JML]

As an intp/5 I have to say that that is a really accurate description of what goes on in our world

[@melaninfrancia1547]

I am also INTP/Type 5

[@teapancake5984]

This, this is very accurate

[@lamiamartell2259]

"I'm learning how to do it myself" That hits to close to home. I'm five, moved in to new apartment in November, lots of things needs to be done (paint walls, change pipes in the sink, put tiles, etc.) I still not called anyone to get stuff done, cuz I'm doing ResearchTM. Chrome are barely holding all these tabs in. I already decided that I want to do many things by myself cuz it's fun and not at all hard, but here is a catch - I was born to procrastinate ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[@podivna]

LOL! Totally same...I had to buy a laptop with bigger RAM to hold all these tabs :D If somebody sees that, they freak out. (And btw I had to do my own research for finding THE BEST laptop for myself. I had to learn all the parameters and what they mean in order to work for my work specs and budget. Haha)

[@lamiamartell2259]

@@podivna wow.. I bought a new phone with better characteristics in February, cuz my old one (its 3y.o. and a budget model) got tired of it just as yours laptop.. it's kinda heartwarming that we are sharing (ofc I had an anxiety when I wrote the comment above lol hell I even have one now) even so I'm glad and smiling

[@holzerisms]

Real

[@Vice_Verse0]

INTP 5?

[@podivna]

@@lamiamartell2259 Don't worry, we are basically soulmates here, we get each other. 😂 Having nonstop anxiety was my normal state. I tried Indian ginseng named Ashwagandha and it helped me. Try for youself 😁

[@dellavest9269]

I'm a five...don't get any phrase such as "unfortunately this makes it hard to connect to people" type sentiment. We don't connect because we don't want to, lol. People are going to say or do all the things, we're going to have a reaction, and having to express feelings is super stressful. I think it's easier to just circumvent those sticky issues and just read or do research, instead.

[@chrisw9122]

Whether you want to connect or not...whether you care or not. Still makes it hard to connect to the general public. Not acknowledging an event doesn't mean it magically evaporates. Thus causing issues with connections. You don't have to care about anything...it is still happening ✨ We are not islands even if you wish to be one.

[@lynxharpthorn7764]

I find that I really don't want to express my feelings, all in the name of the unwritten contract of not having to deal with the emotional labor of caring for others. I'll deal with my own problems, you deal with yours. It may sound cold but I prefer to be self sufficient.

[@AbbeyHowe]

Interesting insight into your own experience as a five. Thanks for sharing!!

[@elishaso]

@@lynxharpthorn7764 I completely agree. This is what I do.

[@ernestdejohn6165]

It seems so hard to connect when I do it's a rush so do your best to get out there if you chose

[@nomadine85]

I definitely laughed a lot and I think the final three were the most spot on. The only one I’d like to add a correction to is the sidelines motivator - we watch from the sidelines because we want to be certain we know what we are doing (research) before getting involved since we fear being incompetent. That’s why we love to research and learn and do everything ourselves. Watching from the sidelines is a form of research.

[@micromyuze]

At the end of example five where she’s researching fixing watches, I thought about how I would respond and said to myself, “But I am having fun”.

[@AbbeyHowe]

I should've put that line in!! love it

[@ruchipatel8183]

i thought the same thing!

[@cherylbohlender7341]

@@AbbeyHowe The watch scene killed me...that is SOO me! Who cares it cost $5, it's mine and I like it and I should know how it works. I'm not useless, I can figure it out, it's a point of pride. And the scene about remakes was dead on. I'm always going on about "How many friggin' Spiderman movies do we really need? And don't get me started about Batman...Ben Affleck? Really? What a wanker...in what universe could he EVER be Batman. Save it for halloween you asshat!"

[@headoverheels88]

SAME.

[@kailiak4271]

@@AbbeyHowe This is actually so funny because I'm an INTJ 5 and fix clocks for a living

[@andianderson3017]

I do that in movies all the time. I was banned from movies by friends for either being insensitive or predicting the ending in the first five minutes. I'm obsessed with psychology and literature and media in general. Which means I'm awesome at talking so much about emotions and people no one notices I'm not having emotions or doing much peopling:D I don't leave parties. I hide in the corner and talk to the cat. But I also totally lose it emotionally in a heart beat if I let anything in, and I do try. We're gosh darn gummy bears inside. All mush. It's why the exoskeleton is so important!

[@AbbeyHowe]

Thanks for your insight, Andi! I love hearing about your personality in movies 😂 I can imagine you and your friends at the movies while you predict the end constantly. It's also really interesting to hear that you lose it emotionally if you let anything inside. (also the metaphor of being a gummy bear inside 🤣 I'm a gummy bear inside... and outside)

[@andianderson3017]

@@AbbeyHowe What's missing would be someone going on very excitedly about something they feel tons of passion for and a five simply raising an eyebrow and saying "interesting." My husband shoots me that look now and I scramble to come up with different words. "Interest....I mean, uh, wow. It sounds like that's very important to you. I am so glad you like it." I watched all your videos:) I'm looking forward to seeing the rest.

[@a711slurpee]

I've blown people's minds with how many times I've guessed an ending 5-10 minutes in. Once I even guessed it from a trailer... Cowboys and Aliens, anybody? I've just come to accept it's my superpower, and mostly entertain myself with it.

[@jvaz92]

Andi Anderson lmao. Relatable

[@kituki5178]

But gummy bears are hard to chew sometimes, Does this mean we are strong?

[@joefoss3864]

A friend told me about the enneagram, and I'd never heard of it. After that short convo, I took 4 enneagram tests, spent 5ish hours reading articles on it, and am on my 7th YT video on it when..."I'm just gonna run home real quick and watch 10,000 YT videos."..................which is great news knowing I'm now 0.07% of the way there.

[@AbbeyHowe]

Joe Foss HAHAHAHAHA THIS IS AMAZING

[@hannapriskilla9815]

YES! I'm like this too. I took the 16 personalities test like 10 times, just to make sure I got it right. And then after hours of research, I took it again a few times (with hours, days or weeks in between), and then did some more research. I have now moved on to the enneagram tests.. Also, I have started comparing enneagrams to the 16 personality types 😁 Very interesting!

[@sandeshp8403]

@@hannapriskilla9815 haahahh! I can totally relate. I just got to know about enneagrams and have started my "research" lol ( already spent the last 3 hours on it)

[@lulumarie3620]

I know this 12 months too late. But I also just my my enneagram test. Well actually I took it three times and now I’m an hour deep into my research (I should have been asleep two hours ago. I do this every night...spiraling out of control on the internet when I should be sleeping) online and on KZbin. I doubted I was a 5 until I watched this and was like...holy shit this is me. And here I am, leaving a long message on a post that is a year old.

[@orangeziggy348]

They don’t feel their feelings bc they’re too intense, overwhelming, and they don’t know what else to do except to detach from them so their whole day won’t be ruined by the pain. It’s extremely similar or the same vulnerability and sensitivity that the 4’s have. But since the 5 gets stuck in their head, it’s hard then to come back into the heart and body to fully be present to the feelings of others,.

[@AbbeyHowe]

Very well said OZ!!

[@jennifercottrell6682]

Yes.. People don’t realise it’s not that they don’t feel, it’s that it’s so very intense it can literally stop you functioning......ANYTHING is better than that

[@jeremypoland2827]

Yeah, but nobody's ready for Covid-19 like 5s.

[@jamartist5435]

I kinda like it it’s given me more time to sit back, research, and think about things

[@daniellthornton4218]

6s though🤷🏻‍♀️

[@koivukoivu3654]

omg so true, i was researching it since january and everyone told me not to worry about some virus. well look who was more prepared!

[@JustJennie147]

Jeremy Poland : Oh my gosh so true!! Just waiting for the rest of the world to catch up...was researching H1N1, H5N1, SARS & MERS for years.

[@connieeash7935]

So true! Did you see the research on vitamin D????

[@chrisw9122]

Before I go on a flight...I back a crap ton of books. I never read them..."that just in case" pops in my head. I can just look at my phone...but I guess I forget all that. I also do lots of research before doing many things...those deep dives can last days...then experiential experiments occur. Good times. Great video. 😂

[@AbbeyHowe]

Haha, I always bring soooo many books on vacation or on flights and only ever end up reading like a chapter in one of them 😂

[@MrAgentTurner]

Are you INTJ by any chance?

[@jahughes478]

So glad I’m not the only one!

[@mehdishishehbor5945]

Books are like pets to 5s.

[@beybrain7896]

Adam S Just cause one reads books doesn’t make them an INTJ.

[@sdearing6375]

I am a 5. This was fun. I think you left out how much we compartmentalize.

[@AbbeyHowe]

Ooh good one ... I will make sure to include that in a future video! I am hoping to do a series on romantic relationships and that would be good to include!

[@cskeete390]

That’s an understatement!

[@jeremyfarley6650]

I always thought it was a super power lol

[@aaronday3713]

Very accurate - many of these certainly hit home for me. One common misconception about 5s is how we process emotions. We often do process them, but much more slowly than other types. We like to understand things - emotions don't lend themselves well to that. So we (or at least I do) take them out little by little to understand them - and typically by ourselves because we can't process them as fast as others, and feel very uncomfortable in conversation that we don't understand them. Best advice is to give 5s space and time to work on this rather than force them to immediately. And ask them - when would be a good time to talk about this.

[@DoodlyDoo59210]

I think the doubting my own abilities even when being an expert in the field is probably the one that resonated the most. The rest of the examples I thought were a little off. But that might just be me.

[@AbbeyHowe]

Thanks for sharing Dustin! I do try to exaggerate the examples so, yes, they aren't as much relatable as they are hopefully thought provoking. 💜

[@judael5605]

Then I'm sorry to have to tell you that you are most likely not a 5. Doubting ourselves on a particular stuff is somewhat true for 5s but when compared to the other points made in the video, it is of least concern and relatability. While other points resonated to a somewhat high degree. Please re-take your test, take care

[@ianthompson31]

I’m a five and an INTJ.... this is pretty accurate. I laughed. I think for me it’s more about what I think instead of what I feel (this is the T coming though for me). This is why I APPEAR emotionally detached because my primary way of viewing the world is what I think and not what I feel. Notice how when you made fun of the emotional detachment you had one person spouting things as if they tried to process it logically by thinking through it and the other person was crying as though it was processed through their feelings. I think that’s what causes that. Your friend is good for you because she helps you think your way through your complicated emotions instead of feeling your way through them :)

[@AbbeyHowe]

Agreed! 5s help others who are more heart-based figure out their emotions. And just because 5s don't APPEAR emotional doesn't mean they don't have emotions!!

[@Go_Boltz89]

I am a 5 and an INTJ too!

[@Skoobiisnax]

I’m a 5 and also an INTJ 🖖

[@rsryujinsiswritting4364]

I am a 5 and INTJ too

[@sarad6772]

is your second dominant type 8 too? im an intj type 5 as well

[@jessicarose9290]

I am a 5 and this is hands down one of the most accurate portrayals of my personality I have seen yet. HAHAHAHAHA... well done.

[@AbbeyHowe]

YAY!! This makes me so happy to hear. Thanks for watching and commenting, Jessica! 💜

[@veronicaraposo8296]

Just discovered enneagram (and that I'm a type 5w4) a few days ago and since then I've been watching your videos and learning a lot about myself. I have to say, this one...so accurate! I have always felt misunderstood/judged by the people around me for feeling drained, anxious about social engagements or just taking sometime off my phone - but sometimes it's all just a bit too much. Sitting here today, reading comments from other 5s and just realizing other people feel/process things the same way I do is so comforting. Thank you all

[@carolinjed4458]

I‘m type 5 and I wish I'd feel attacked but I don’t... as in I don’t see the problem. Except in the last one, I'd add that I'm sorry and so on to my medical facts 😬

[@AbbeyHowe]

I was unsure about the last one. I don't think I got the example quite right. Have fun with your medical facts! 😂

[@victoriaque601]

I don’t find this offensive because the 5 she is portraying is very unhealthy and not like me. I was more offended that in the 2nd example, the 5 got overwhelmed and blurted out that they needed to leave - a 5 would probably never do that.

[@elishaso]

@@victoriaque601 a 5 would just slip out unnoticed

[@victoriaque601]

As a 5, I dislike movies that’s main focus is drama/emotion. I strongly dislike dramatic movies about animals, as I have never had a pet and can not reciprocate that connection. I will watch comedy, action, thriller, maybe horror, *SCI-FI* , and romance (particularly gay romance movies), and many indie movies because I like the ambience and music.

[@AbbeyHowe]

So interesting!!

[@falconerd343]

Exactly, I hate watching drama shows (which includes most reality tv shows) because they intentionally manipulate my emotions and I don't like my emotions being "out of control". I'd much rather watch a documentary or something that's main purpose is conveying information.

[@leslie9592]

5 here.. funny bc I do not like comedies, romance or horror (all irrelevant silly fluff IMO). I enjoy documentaries, foreign films, biographies, thrillers and drama. I want movies that will make me really feel something or that I can learn from.

[@Mitchell3701]

Have you watched Black Mirror? San Junipero and USS Calister are some of my favourite TV ever

[@ivyom4392]

You're living my life, I also hate dramatic movies

[@purewestmarketingtutorials9674]

I laughed at a lot of these and thought most of it was pretty spot on. I'm a 5w4 INTJ female, so some of what I think may not resonate with all 5's but I know for me personally, as far as giving/withholding affection it often isn't because I don't think I have the inner energy to give, (because I'll do/give almost anything for the people I love regardless of my energy level) it's often more because I sometimes don't know the best way to comfort someone, and I would rather not attempt trying to comfort someone, than attempting it, do it wrong and make them feel worse about the situation. Also, even though we may not show it we do feel things very deeply and have a deep capacity for empathy, and it can be incredibly uncomfortable for us to feel these things at the level we feel them. Depending on my frame of mind I may not be able to keep my own emotions together in order to comfort you, and displaying my own emotions when you were seeking comfort can seem selfish to me as it's now making the situation about me instead of you.

[@jennpolanco7812]

Spot on.

[@thetravelingarchi]

I’m an INTJ too

[@The-Labbed-Life]

As an INTJ 5w4, you just stole all the words from my mouth. That's exactly what I said to my friends

[@Urbae4lyfe]

5w6 INTJ here and I think you just told the story of my life🤣

[@joe_zupko]

There a few different breeds of 5s. For me knowledge is power. Learning different concepts gives me leverage over my environment.

[@philosopherlogic]

As a 5w4 INTJ who's Ni/Te dominant, I walk a fine line between balancing emotions and thinking. Thinking is definitely dominant but I've learned the hard way ignoring your emotions causes why more problems in the long run.

[@MsJacks8]

I am a 5w6 INTJ and I agree with ignoring my emotions causing problems. I've noticed that because I have not been in the practice of identifying my emotions I have been eating them. Since I have been recognizing my emotions and letting them be there I have not been doing as much emotional eating and I have lost weight.

[@desmondsheppard4704]

I'm a 4w5 INTJ, so this is a bit unusual (though I flip-flop between 4w5 and 5w4). It's complicated balancing between being investigative-reclusive (embracing the blunt childish curiosity) and being romantic-reclusive (embracing the honed-edge childish creativity). Sometimes it's good, and sometimes it's "questionable." I've resonated more with this vid than the type 4 vid, though I think that's because-as I observe, at least-the Enneagram covers "who I am" while the MBTI type covers "how my mind and perceptions work."

[@ZealMayfield]

I'm a five. Most of this rings true with me except the musicals conversation. I would just use the conversation itself as an opportunity to learn about musicals. I find my fear of being useless/inept shows up mostly in situations I believe to be very easily handled by others but which I feel under prepared for such as making a phone call or booking an appointment-- social situations for which I'm aware there are protocols, but with which I am not intimately familiar. Since I don't think most people are experts on musicals, I'd feel no need to become one just to have a conversation. If I was expected to take some action in relation to musicals such as choosing one to see, then I would research all the options, read all the reviews, decide if each review was fair or reasonable, decide which was best... then never see it. Because. Crowds, you know?

[@AbbeyHowe]

I love this insight!!! Thanks for sharing your perspective. It makes sense that you would be curious to learn about something new from someone else, but if you had to go be a newspaper reviewer for a bunch of new musicals (and you didn't know anything about musicals), that would be really scary! (Probably for anyone honestly!!!)

[@kenzielove99]

As a five I am cracking up because I literally bring my books with me everywhere and am always reading at least 3 at once 😂😂😂

[@YorHa_Unit_9S]

As a type five I can totally understand where all these things come from. It's always a shame to me that so many people boil the type down however to just "quiet", "serious", and "introspective." However, I can totally understand that, from what I've observed, a lot of people have a lot of trouble understanding the type (and I'm always on the hunt to understand it myself so that I can make sure I am a type five for sure). That being said, a lot of other fives I've met, when you get to know them--which is already a difficult thing to do--are incredibly chaotic, which is funny to witness. I saw some comments noting the emotional depth of 5s and I couldn't agree more. I'm a 5w4 myself so of course that emotional depth might feel to myself a bit more deeper than others--and my interests more apply to the arts, writing, acting, and theatre. That being said, I love this video and I love the many paragraphs littering the comments section lol

[@AbbeyHowe]

SO MANY PARAGRAPHS 😂 I love 5s so much. Thank you for sharing your perspective. I really appreciate learning more about Type 5s FROM Type 5s. ♥️

[@Jukeboxster]

I agree. 5s are so misunderstood. If you have the opportunity to see a 5 that is emotionally vulnerable, it's a sight to see (and this is coming from a 5). I can border on manic when I get revved up. We're full of information, so imagine an emotionally charged 5 as an unstable nuclear reactor. 5s know how they get when they're highly emotional so we do what we can to avoid going there. We're not innately suited to manage those emotions, though I suppose if one wanted to (for what reason I don't know), they could learn to get better at it.

[@irenejoy5885]

@@Jukeboxster "initiate google search on how to manage emotions"

[@jonbabcock8852]

I just recently started learning about enneagrams and discovered I am a 5. And like a true 5, I've spent a lot of time (late at night) researching the subject on KZbin! So much of what you had to say about 5s really described me! I find it relieving and fun to know I'm not alone and that there is info out there that is very useful in improving my life. I enjoy my time alone learning new things or just decompressing. Covid is terrible and I am sorry for anyone that has been affected by it in any way but for me, a 5, it has been such a relief not having to go places or socialize as much. Nothing annoys me more than people who just drop by unexpectedly and Covid has reduced that for sure. I have had so much fun not only learning more about my own enneagram but also those of the people I love. Thank you for such a funny but true video!

[@kingiuli9260]

you know way too many things about me without even knowing me...it's scary. every situation in the video made me feel like "yep, that's totally me"

[@AbbeyHowe]

oh gosh, no peeping tom vibes intended haha ... but I grew up with a 5 so I do kinda get you 😅

[@cataclysmicdev4886]

even though I'm 99.99% sure I'm a 5w6, I only understand emotions when I have them. And it is SO funny, my sister will cry at a movie or something, and I'll be like "why, huh?" , and then she'll hate me more.

[@AbbeyHowe]

I find type 5 so fascinating!

[@travisgilliamjr.491]

I’m trying to be more active but I like “observing” instead of “doing”

[@andreabohjanen7992]

OMG I laughed so hard over the last one because that is totally me! I remember watching The Last Song and while my friends were crying, I was like “wow. It took him a long time to die. This movie could have been structured a lot better” 😅

[@AbbeyHowe]

Andrea Bohjanen SO FUNNY 😂😂😂

[@hannahnelson2359]

Type 5 here, and number 7 resonated with me a lot! When I comfort myself, I usually so through reasoning through why it doesn't make sense to be sad about something. This works great for me, but doesn't go over as well with other people. I always have to check myself to make sure I am first letting others know that I care about them and their feelings

[@cierramerino9753]

Yeah, I was definitely emotionally detached-I could never understand why people got so emotionally upset with things! Then I married a 9 and it helped me open up

[@saloni.sharma]

i struggled with self expression too. my partner is 9 and it's true for me as well.

[@JordanCrowderFilms]

Right on. I'm a 5, but with a heavy 4 wing (so much that my test scores were almost evenly split). So I do experience more emotion than other fives, and toggle between my head and my heart. Growing deeper in my faith, and the more I know the heart of God, I find myself allowing for more margin feel and not hoard.

[@Nhoj31neirbo47]

I just spent an hour researching why Linepithema humile, formerly Iridomyrmex humilis, aka Argentine ants, go on Opuntia ficus-indica , aka Prickly Pear cactus. Sometimes my curiosity even bugs myself.

[@AbbeyHowe]

hahahahaha why ARE they all over those cacti though???

[@Nhoj31neirbo47]

Abbey Howe - They are protecting aphid, mealy or scale bugs that create a sugary poop for the ants to eat. Those bugs are dining on the cactus pads, leaves.

[@aprilhunt-vail9071]

Totally identify

[@ivyom4392]

@@Nhoj31neirbo47 now you're making me go down the rabbit hole for the thousandth time lol

[@Irieliciousness]

As a 5, I do struggle with avarice because my fear of not being prepared makes me plan for the worst possible scenario. While avarice isn't a good trait per se, it has been a life saver as of late.

[@fckyafeelingz4064]

30 seconds in and thumbs up and laughing my ass off. I was literally shoving books in my bag as this was playing!!!!! No shame here.

[@AbbeyHowe]

hahahah that's so funny!! thanks for watching and commenting! have fun reading!

[@sketchyAnalogies]

Don’t know my type for sure, but as an INTJ, type 5 is relatable

[@poonoo87]

Type 5 correlates strongly with INTs. I'd look into the tritype's as well since they get very specific compared to the standard enneagram which is fairly broad.

[@realtalkproductions]

I’m an INTJ & just discovered that I’m a 5. Def looking into the soul of myself with this video. Lol

[@saloni.sharma]

i'm INFP and a type 5 but most INTJ are type 5. guess i'm weird lol.

[@ToBeALegacy]

So good! I laughed a lot! 5’s detach from emotions but sometimes we need to practice detaching from our “five-ness” and just FEEL, knowing it’s going to be ok! Lol!! We are probably the most out of our body of all the types, and practicing coming back into our “feeling” body or heart space can be helpful. Leaning into our wings when things get too “five-y” is a good way to get out of our “head space” and stop all that exhausting brainy activity for a bit! Typical 5 advise, amiright?? Love your content!

[@amberkauffman2770]

I’m a 2 and 5...which is an interesting a difficult combination. I am very observant, analytical, and watch from the sidelines. Once I choose to engage and open myself up to a relationship though, my 2 dominant trait totally comes out. I was a sociology major, studying and analyzing people and their relationships. Prior to staying home with my children, my career was a probation officer, which was a good balance between my practical, analytical (law enforcement side) and my nurturing, want to help people side (social worker). In my personal life, it helps me to weed out phony, deceptive people and protect my heart. But it also makes decisions difficult, trying to balance my heart versus my practical side. I love to host themed parties and make people happy, but then prefer to watch from the sidelines one on one with someone during the party. I find this stuff fascinating (of course, my 5 side), and love your videos!

[@andreagreenwood93]

Interesting that you said 5 is the type you struggle with understanding the most, because you still really hit the nail on the head perfectly, I related to this very much! Especially the "Why are ants on cactus, can we look it up?" 😆 Sounds like the stuff I say. Curiosity is the all-consuming force in my life.

[@tttttttt3759]

as a 5 i love completely brand new experiences. like my piano teacher from romania offered me a snack one time of coffee poured over blueberries! then warmed up in the microwave like a coffee blueberry soup. It wasn’t the best flavor but it was new and different! i was so happy that day just because i experienced something that’s never crossed my mind. try this combination and be amazed at a new flavor!

[@jessieollinger]

I’ve never heard of this description for “hoarding energy” but yes I try to find escapes from people or go outside to recharge. Now as a single mom I do process my emotions and cry all the time. I prefer observing and analyzing others though. This was enlightening 🤣🙌

[@karoj6307]

Quite a lot of people in the comments saying they don't even want to connect with people or who don't see the problem with coming off as cold, so, idk, putting in my two cents as a 5 who definitely cares about that. The first one really hit me cause I haven't seen the fear of incompetence and uselessness being framed into such a casual everyday situation before, but it was definitely spot on for me, maybe cause it was a social situation. As an sx/so 5w4, my attention is centered on other people, although people also stress me out the most in this world, hahah. About the energy reserves though, I wouldn't say showing my love drains those reserves. But more generally, I do use my energy only on the people closest to me. And people who I love don't drain my energy as much. I've had to learn this though - when I was younger, it would feel embarrassing and stupid showing that I care, and stressing over it was draining, so I preferred not to do it. I felt incompetent at that, too. Nowadays I put in the effort to show/tell the people I care about how I feel. It's hard for me to make the incentive to console someone, but I would never turn down a close friend's direct request for my company. If someone asks me out for coffee or asks me to listen to them or hug them, implying that me doing so would be helpful, that my company alone would cheer them up, I would be absolutely flattered and would definitely do it. If it's a person I hardly know, though, and on short notice to boot, oof, that's a different story. I would still decline in a socially acceptable way, though, lol.

[@AbbeyHowe]

Thanks for your insight, Karo! I value hearing your perspective as a sx/so 5w4, especially that your attention is centered on other people even if people also stress you out so much!! Also, as a 3, I also think I use my energy pretty much on the people closest to me. But maybe that's my introversion...

[@bumissmichele3291]

I know I'm a few months late to the game, but I agree with this fully! It's interesting to read through the comments and see the variation within the number. I'm definitely a 4 wing and pretty sure I'm also sx/so.

[@jonniferus]

Same here. I know I need people and I know I'm bad at it and it sucks. I think some of these "I don't care" responses are the type 5 protective strategy at work, reinforced by dissociation from the underlying feelings. I think of how many type 5s suffer from depression/suicidal ideation. Where is that coming from? If we truly didn't care, this wouldn'tbe an issue. We go through the world as aliens among humans, secretly hoping to be accepted as a human, and that's hard.

[@leyre9989]

I relate to this a lot too

[@brazilianambassadordale8223]

Yup... I'm a five. The very intro resonated so heavily. That part with the ants on a cactus was literally me as a child and still kinda is me to an extent although I'm definitely less vocal about those thoughts with other people lmao. Anything I don't immediately understand on anything from a somewhat basic to very profound level depending on my relative interest in the subject (personally it's mainly science, mathematics, and puzzles that I find interesting) becomes something I'll do a deep dive into for anything from a few hours to years. The only things I don't resonate with the unwillingness to get help from others and at least imo (I hope others see it the same way lol) the emotional detachment, but I can definitely say there was a point in my life when I was more emotionally detached and striving more for independence. However, I definitely learned over time to be mindful of my own emotions and keep myself in others shoes throughout my day to day life to be more emotionally involved and considerate while accepting help at risk of being regarded as less than I believe I am since I realize that there's no point in depriving myself of that opportunity to excel. I guess on a very basic level it can be looked at as a combination of passion, reflectiveness and the resultant excessive insecurity associated with that constant reflection that ultimately constitutes a big part of what drives me.

[@grantboone3327]

I think we like analyzing people's ideas and behavior and discussing it with them, but only as long as we're gaining new insight from the conversation.

[@nicw3251]

These definitions resonated. I feel like we fives are very introspective, feel like outsiders and misunderstood. This along with being very imaginative can make it hard to fit in with others. We live in our own reality because it’s more exciting than real life. We can have a difficult time dealing with other people’s emotions while being highly emotional ourselves. We can come off as negative and standoffish but when you get to know us we are funny, creative and loyal

[@emmelleperry9956]

As a 5, I have to consciously remind myself to acknowledge someone else's emotions so I don't appear cold and uncaring, even if I am uncaring.

[@AbbeyHowe]

Michelle, good way to compensate!

[@blainefiasco8225]

This is so bizarre how accurate this is. Some of these aspects I thought everyone did, others I thought only I did.

[@annamoore9991]

Wowowow. I feel attacked by the book shoving. 😂 I feel like I am a lazy or picky 5 because when I want to learn stuff I save all the books I want to buy on it but I rarely go through with learning it unless I see it having a greater impact on my career or self. Also I heard another discussion on 5s say that we get angry when something makes us feel things that we don't want to feel or catches us off guard. This is very true for me. I hate sad movies. Why would I want to waste my precious energy being sad or crying?!?!? It ticks me off. The last thing I've heard and that is very true for me is that we don't like to feel things in real time. We like to stuff it down to feel it later in private or when we have the energy. Loved this video. (5w4)

[@AbbeyHowe]

What awesome insight into being a five, Anna! Thanks for sharing!!

[@heathermartin6481]

Yes, these resonated. The 'greed' fear as you mentioned is more hording than wanting more. It could show up in saving way more than a normal person would as emergency fund, not wanting to wear an outfit you love for fear of ruining it for some future time etc.

[@VictorPerez-lu6yz]

I’m a textbook type 5 (pun intended). It’s healthy to laugh at yourself. I was drinking ☕️while watching this, and some of it landed on the 🖥. Instead of writing a 300 word “comment”, I’ll just say “well done”! 😂

[@AbbeyHowe]

thank you, Victor! 😂

[@travisgilliamjr.491]

Wowwww the accuracy is scary. I feel personally attacked 😭😂😂

[@tactical_ninja09]

I am an INTJ type 5 and im sure the most annoying thing people hear from me is asking "why?" to everthing. "Hey are you okay?" "yea, why?". It sounds condescending. but i cant help it, i am an investigator after all even to other peoples emotional interest in me.

[@thisisquitedeepwow3091]

I see you're having some tactical difficulties there tactical ninja.

[@Becca1026Scott]

Loved this! Looks like me! 🥴😂 for the last one, I will say that I am emotionally detached with people, but I will cry over a movie in a heartbeat. It is the face to face interpersonal that I am detached from. I do hoard those resources like mentioned in the earlier example.

[@AbbeyHowe]

Hi Becca! Thanks for watching and for leaving your insightful feedback! I'm hearing from others as well that I was off on the Marley example... everyone can cry over dogs!! 🐶 🐕

[@ShaunBennetFauntleroy]

I’m a five and most of this resonates with me with the exception of not being able to comfort or support loved ones in times of grief. I do have trouble feeling what they’re feeling, but I will try to ask what they need or intuit their needs based on their past behavior. Like, I won’t usually cry with you, but I’ll be the first to get you a tissue and a glass of water or a blanket. Also, I would never be that cruel if someone’s pet died. Man alive. At worst, I’d sit with them while they cried and wish I was somewhere else.

[@AbbeyHowe]

Thank you for your insight Shaun!

[@yup3961]

As a 5 I do love to be social but often times I’d rather focus on my own things, so it can come off as me being unattached & weird in social interactions

[@raayaahussein8405]

I'm a five too and get really uncomfortable when someone is emotional or distressed. I dont know how to comfort them so i avoid them completely. I'm an ENTP, and i really relate to the fear of being useless. Or not knowing something that others know.

[@fashionforwarddd]

I have tested as an enneagram 6w5 and I identified with so much in this video! I am definitely constantly aware of my energy levels and thus try to avoid people who seem to demand too much interaction or energy from me. I do often detach unexpectedly in certain situations. However I am very friendly and jovial so I suppose that is why I am not 5w6. I love being around people I just dont want them to demand too much energy from me. I think to myself, I am sustaining myself and getting myself throughout the day so I need everyone around me to do the same. I can comfort people but if it seems that everytime I am around someone they need to be comforted I will definitely find ways to detach from that person. Once I have offered some comfort I dont know what else to give. Also I have been in a profession for 7 years and people always ask me questions and I never feel like I really know how to explain it in the best way. I really feel you can never really know enough about something. Anyway thanks so much for making these videos :)

[@mayaleela7749]

Sounds like you might be a 5w6 instead??

[@4musiclyrics1]

How do you make a five happy? Space is crucial. . Having space means that their need for freedom, connection and competence are not a problem to those around them. They feel that problems are their responsibility. . Yet, problems are a part of life and relationships. So, they easily get overwhelmed with people and situations. That is why they only chose few people to be in their life. That is why they spend less time with people, chose areas of expertise, and like predictability. . For a five to be happy around you they need to know that their needs aren't going to be problematic. Therefore, if you are doing actions that let them know that their needs aren't a problem they will be able to have their space and be at ease around you. . A five predicts, from their experiences with you or others, if their needs are going to be problematic at any given situation. They collect this information to avoid "causing problems" that make them feel incompetent (because they feel responsible for these problems) and like a burden. . Want to make a five happy? Remind them that they are enjoyable as they are (good and bad), you care about their wants/desires/dreams, you support them, and that by acting they are also learning. . Give them information so that they can prepare if you are going to do something new. . They will know that they are welcome and that they can have space with you. So, they will make space for you in their life. :)

[@jgarcia4721]

I really connected to your avarice description. I also feel that way about joining in on conversations. Like if I talk too much about myself, it takes away from me in some way. I wish I could explain it better, but that's pretty close.

[@melodycharmsall5279]

my husband is a 5 and says non-stop, I want to explain it better, or, there's a lot more to this than I can say, or, I wish I could download to you everything I know about this.....all sorts of things like that - and so often he still doesn't say anything much, just that he can't explain - it's such a big topic , and I say bullet points will do or give me an overview... but he's too 'invested' in getting the 'right' explanation

[@AbbeyHowe]

that's really interesting jessica!!

[@Jukeboxster]

Very entertaining video! I'm a bonafide Enneagram 5 and pretty much knew all of this, but the role-play helps to illuminate how distorted some of our thought processes can be at times. But there's nothing better than going down a Wikipedia rabbit hole for 4-5 hours. I do think we're misunderstood by non-5s. Things like going down an information wormhole for a few hours bring us joy and satisfaction. I suppose learning more does help to make us feel more complete. Also, I think the primary disconnect is that most non-5s have to detach from information to relax. 5s detach from emotion to reach the same end. At work, I've taken one week off from work this year (and quite frankly didn't even feel as though I needed it), whereas most everyone else has taken at least 4 weeks, and some many more than that. It's because work is not taxing for me, unless I'm angered or irritated (which is extremely rare). Also, the idea of being the most capable/relied-upon resource in the entire company (I work for a well-known skincare company) is VERY intoxicating and invigorating. So our tendency to accumulate information is not just about being prepared for the world, it's about exerting dominance as well. As far as I go, I could take or leave vacations. $3k to go sit on a beach? Meh. That said, if I'm spending it with a significant other, she's very happy and she makes me happy, then it's well worth the time. I do understand that most people need to detach from information to relax. I definitely still gain enjoyment from the company of others (provided I like these people), I just have a limit on how much social stimulation I can take before having to go back to my refuge. I know extroverts that have to go out and socialize most every night because they gain energy from others. If I were forced to go out and socialize every night for 2 weeks straight, I'm certain I would become at the very least extremely depressed and drained. 5s just have different wiring than non-5s, we don't consciously prefer to be the way we are. All Enneagram types are compensating for feelings of inadequacy, we all just strive to remedy that feeling in different ways. I had a friend that was amazing with women, he once told me in confidence that he gains his sense of self-worth from the number of women with whom he could have sex. Not exactly a healthy mindset to have, but from a bird's eye view, this guy would appear by many to be very fulfilled in life, when that's not the case. Also I've never thought about hoarding energy/time because I fear running out of it. First and foremost, homeostasis is of the utmost importance to me. I do prefer to keep things in my life at a consistent wavelength to the extent possible. Many people can bring you up and down and up and down, which is disorienting to a lot of 5s. Many love the emotional roller coaster, not 5s. Next, 5s are FIERCELY loyal friends, and have high standards for friendship. Many people are not reliable and are disappointing, so that's why I think 5s limit their circle to proven, trusted friends, but a 5 will do anything for their friends. I think the part where you show the 5 not even wanting to hug or spend time with her friend is a bit off (though I know a lot of this is for entertainment purposes), we're not THAT cold! A 5 will give everything to the few friends that they have. We WANT to, but want our care and attention to go to someone that won't disappoint us with regard to devotion, basically someone that we're certain will appreciate and reciprocate. A 5 has no problem connecting and bearing their soul to a friend that is trustworthy, dependable and who "gets them." I suppose there is a transactional nature to this rationale, in that I only want to spend time/energy on those that have proven to be investments (good friends/loved ones) in my life. I guess it is weird that I think in such callous terms lol. As the time I spend with others is already limited, I have to make sure that I get a good bang for my buck so to speak. As a 5 I've learned that some of my free time has to be devoted to social speculation (i.e. seeking out new relationships), rather than just sticking with the reliable ones.

[@calliepartridge6702]

im a 5 and wow this is really relatable.... #6 was definitely me. i think 5s also tend to be really introverted (especially if theyre 5w6 like me) and that contributes even more to a lot of these tendencies!! awesome video!!!

[@AbbeyHowe]

Thanks Callie!! ♥️

[@karbear04]

thanks for explaining avarice, I knew about this but it didnt click until you talked about it. It definitely explains why I save things when I know I only have a little left... also why I dont call people on the phone. I think all of these fit me as a 5...especially the party scene and the one where Marley dies.

[@kenzielove99]

This is the best video so far I have seen explaining the 5!!!! Thank you for making it light hearted. It makes me sad that I am detached from emotion I wish to connect with others very much. Thanks for the laugh!!

[@AbbeyHowe]

You are so welcome!

[@karacupp4765]

I definitely resonate with feeling overwhelmed at a party/family gathering. I can also relate to the fear of being incompetent...I feel the need to research certain topics in the privacy of my home so people don’t think I’m dumb. When it comes to emotions though, I don’t think I necessarily detach from them, I just don’t feel comfortable expressing them to other people. I often explore the complexity of my emotions through journaling or art.

[@azenkwed]

0:06, yeah, well, we have e-readers now. We know bags can't carry all our books.

[@JZaital]

Hehe

[@AbbeyHowe]

soooo true!

[@sage9107]

My friend is very into the enneagram and I didnt know much about it, so every time he brought it up I got anxiety because I had to sit and listen and couldn't contribute to the conversation. He told me I was a five long before I started researching it and one day I told him I couldn't go out for a drink because I feel like I get given only so much energy a day and I just didn't have enough to go out for a drink and socialise and needed to stay home and read. He told me this was the most "5" statement he had ever heard.

[@AbbeyHowe]

Sage B interesting!! After researching the enneagram, do you feel like your friend was right?

[@sage9107]

@@AbbeyHowe I read up on it alot. Did the quizzes, kept getting 5. I agree with him. Some people think I'm being antisocial or don't like them, I get told I'm selfish with my time, but it genuinely is nothing personal. I just need to manage my energy or I get burnt out.

[@iiiclxoudss1518]

I mostly feel sensitive for the littlest things but it’s so hard bc no else has the same problem as you and i also rlly get annoyed with ppl a lot and I get stressed out with grades

[@AbbeyHowe]

Grades can be super stressful! Totally get it.

[@iiiclxoudss1518]

Abbey Howe ty 🥺

[@trevormitchell4495]

I just recently took the enneagram test and it told me I was a 5. This was all completely new to me and the way that they tried to explain it was really confusing. This video really helped me to understand what they meant and it helped me realize that I really do relate with the 5 type. Thank you for making this!

[@carolynnmarie5716]

Yes, I'm a 5 and after I stopped laughing I said dead on!!

[@AbbeyHowe]

Thanks Carolynn! I appreciate it! ♥️

[@nomadine85]

That last one was so accurate 😂 I actually stay away from people in “major” situations because those are so attached to expectations in terms of behaviour and reaction, which I already know I’m going to fail at (fear of incompetence), and logically it’s not worth the hassle of dealing with the accusations or hurt feelings of the other person which is inevitably going to take place due to my highly likely for them “detached” or “socially hurtful” perception and actions.

[@nomadine85]

We also find it difficult to not be truthful because we fear that being not truthful means being incapable as inaccuracy is failure and also useless. But we are also aware that upsetting people is likely going to lead a situation towards requiring energy from us we don’t want to expend, so we end up with weirdly specific reactions that are not technically untrue but could avoid hurt feelings if the person doesn’t look too closely. A typical sentence I’ll use is “It’s good for you that you feel happy about this” rather than go on a factual tangent about the implications on the environment of having yet another child or whatever. I tend to stay away from grieving situations and weddings because I don’t want to put myself in a position of having to deal with already upset people getting even more upset because I’m not acting according to non factual socially dictated “guidelines”. I’ve been told that this is a kind decision to make (don’t want to hurt people) but tbh I just don’t want to spend energy on that. It’s sad for those whose lives are modified, but it’s inevitable (death), or it’s a tacky expensive unnecessary gathering of people to change a legal status which only changes a situation because of external factors such as laws (weddings). Basically, I’m very aware that my factual perception is a “downer” or “heartless” or “pessimistic” or whatever in other people’s eyes, and can’t be bothered to argue with people in an emotional state.

[@ofmodernnatives]

Pretty much spot on. Only you left out the part about us having a twisted sense of humor. We are basically Severus Snape…

[@AbbeyHowe]

⚡🧙😅

[@JustJennie147]

Totally identify with #6!! The more needy a person is the more repulsed by them I am. Don’t mean for that to sound as bad as it does.

[@Terry.W]

I live in a house with a 5.....oh dear ..whilst I am up at 6 for a morning run they are researching all the accidents that could happen jogging ...oh dear ....and they sometimes cook dinner .but they need a week to plan it out ...oh dear.

[@AbbeyHowe]

Hugs to your lovely 5!

[@MrAgentTurner]

Some of this was concerningly accurate... I've been looking into MBTI too much and ignoring this...the "finding the world overwhelming" thing is something I've recently noticed and that was dead on

[@zettabyte0551]

i kind of want to make a discord server for type fives. so we can research together or just talk about random stuff. Anyone else think that would be cool?

[@HalJarrett]

Yes!!

[@reksonline]

I have been mistyped as a 4w3 since I’ve discovered enneagrams (it was a very close margin between 4w3 and 4w5) but recently retook the test which then typed me as a 5w4. Honestly this makes so much more sense to me considering how obsessed I am with investigating information and detective work. This video rings so true to me. Especially using all my free time going down rabbit holes on the internet…..

[@josefineoijer]

yay I love your "annoying things with enneagram types! 😍

[@AbbeyHowe]

Thanks Josefine! I appreciate your support! ❤️

[@witchcitywitch]

You pretty much hit the nail on the head with the avarice part of 5. There are times when my wife wants attention, even just for me to listen, and if I’m trying to read or watch something at the same time I get overwhelmed. Not because I don’t want to listen or don’t care, I’m just anxious that if I don’t finish what I’m reading or watching ASAP I will lose what I’ve gained from it and I can’t give my attention to two different things at the same time.

[@AbbeyHowe]

that's good insight Nikki!!

[@istp1967]

ISTP/Type 5 here! I get obsessed with how stuff works; either A, so I can use or B, so it won't obliterate me 🤔😁

[@katrinelavoie5708]

I’m a 5w4 and I totally agree with that!

[@AbbeyHowe]

Yay! Glad to hear that!

[@Favorites2542]

These are the things I battle with everyday as a 5. Especially the imposter syndrome. But knowing your a 5 and 5 tendencies helps counteract that actions and feelings. That is what I love so much about enneagrams.

[@AbbeyHowe]

So true!! The enneagram helps you figure yourself out!

[@with2ees]

OMG. This is soooo me.... The book thing, I'm stopping that behavior.right now... LOL

[@AbbeyHowe]

No, it's awesome! Haha 📚

[@madelinefieldshalva3121]

What you said as the 5 during the Marley and Me clip was almost exactly what I thought when watching that movie for the first time.

[@nonprofitlady6932]

Poor Marley hahaha just saw that movie this week! Also great insights into type 5s!

[@AbbeyHowe]

Thank you! And I know, that movie is so sad 😭😭😭

[@Madd_ie]

Definitely resonated with me. That last point was spot on. My sister and mom are Type 2, so that is exactly how watching "sad" movies goes.