Enneagram: Type 9 Conflict & Disharmony

[@jonvoss4376]

Hey Dr. Tom. As a healthy 9w1, I feel this video is really accurate! Thanks! Other 9s, please follow your calling the world needs us more than ever to wake up to our potential. I knew I was on the healthy side, the day I stopped judging everyone and truly saw myself as neither above nor below anyone (it's been a little over a year). Dr. Tom's coaching and instructor training definitely helped me find my way.

[@SongBird2425]

Oh Dr Tom! This video has so so so made my day!!!! You have brought a giant smile to my face!! As a 9w1 female, this video is SPOT ON! Thanks for making me feel seen!!

[@Songbirdkelly23]

Thank you for this video! I am on a journey to better health. I realized about 2 years ago that I was also to myself ( I wouldn't know to use those words back then but really had my eyes opened) and have been standing up for myself and discovering myself since then. I feel better capable to handle conflict as it comes and not run and hide as often as I have before. The exercise you went through of imagining myself confronting Marty was great! I could feel the tension inside but could also imagine myself having that conversation. I think practicing through imagining it was so helpful! Thank you for your guidance and insight

[@twlahue]

I'm so glad to hear that you're on this journey and finding ways to stand up for yourself! Imagining those conversations can be such a powerful tool. Keep pushing forward!

[@tonyafrifeldt5188]

100% how I feel as a 9 in a room of people … it’s one of the things I find most exhausting. It’s as if I’m a sponge and I soak up everything from people in the room. Good and bad

[@cappuchino_creations]

Oh yes, as a 9w1 I find big Parrties to be very interesting. I can always tell who's gonna be my best friend within a few minutes and if someone comes to me and talk to me and there's something off with this person, I almost get a disgust-sensation, and it has proved to be right so often...

[@beckywall2049]

Would love more videos on growth paths for 9s like this. Thanks

[@elizabethjansenvanvuuren6665]

Overall a great video, though I agree with Catherine Varenne on the sore point that we really need to face how much damage can be done by avoiding conflict (effectively lying or going into passive aggressive behaviour). At the end of the last quote Tom reads, the author points out how over-focusing on conflict can lead to us being 'asleep to ourselves'. I'm just through such an experience, where I allowed my over-involvement in holding space for and trying to mediate the conflict between two friends made/allowed me to lose focus on my own stuff quite badly. Besides the fact that my meddling achieved little. Sigh.

[@margaretjudice8944]

Great video! I agree about bringing peace. Nines have a lot of the same gifts and issues 2s do. Thank you for sharing!

[@donevacooper3259]

So very good. I appreciate the clarity and also the challenge. Thanks!

[@lbjcb5]

Great video. Thanks for your spot on prospective Dr. LaHue!!

[@ElenaEfthimiou2680]

Thank you for the video. Eye opening to me. I am a type9 and I'd like to understand what you mean by saying that some conflict is necessary. What kind of conflict is necessary?

[@chrisblanc663]

He gives an example in the video. Going up to a co-worker and chatting with them. Having the uncomfortable conversations are sometimes necessary. Instead of letting things stew, or get worst, sometimes action is required. I am a 9 1w. I find because I want things to be right, that I will use my 8 side to do what I have to that will satisfy my 1 side. So for example, I had some work done on my house. We scheduled the date. I took the day off to be able to supervise. The person called my wife and said he wouldn’t be able to come that day and hung up on her. I promptly called his dispatcher, told them if the guy doesn’t come same day, then forget the idea of ever coming over, I would simply go to one of their competitors, and ensure to leave a thoughtful review on as many review sites as possible. He was dispatched over inside of 45 minutes.

[@aaramse4329]

great shirt of yours Dr. Tom LaHue - is it an holy AUM-sign on the left site of that shirt??

[@carolinevarenne5652]

As a 9 I appreciated your appreciation but it looked as though you were trying to avoid conflictuel views by only touching lightly on that sometimes peacemaking needs conflict. Also that avoiding conflict is harmful to the 9 and ultimately to people around us as it equates to lying out of terror. I enjoy your videos but this one felt as though you were avoiding the subject.

[@connorbounds9397]

as a 9-- I feel like he mis read what 9's need Like, he literally said that nines need to withdraw in order to be adequate peacekeepers I think he was missing the information that nines security wing is in the three? like he really missed the point but overall good video 👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽

[@sealwhiskers3515]

Brilliant!

[@aaramse4329]

I feel so 9nish, except for that I've no talent for diplomacy :-)

[@trevawhitmoyer682]

I literally knew someone’s liver was not right! 😂 It helps to be a nurse, too.

[@CourageToLiveTrue]

Hear your own voice

[@CourageToLiveTrue]

Not attuned to self but can read others

[@CourageToLiveTrue]

Unnecessary conflict isn’t helpful

[@CourageToLiveTrue]

I’m telling you bc I care

[@CourageToLiveTrue]

Disrupt personal comfort to bring comfort

[@CodeCasanova]

This one does not understand 9s...lol