Ep. 44 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

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Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer start off this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave by discussing how coronavirus has changed people. They move on to talking about Bert's gross habits, and call Ari Shaffir to find out the point in the day at which he brushes his teeth. Tom and Bert also discuss who they would invite on a celebrity guys trip. Potential candidates include Russell Crowe, Denzel Washington, Shia Labeouf, Bill Clinton, Charles Barkley, and Mike Tyson. This leads them into talking about how weird Joe Pesci looks now. They wrap up by discussing Post Malone's appearance on the Joe Rogan Experience.
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[@willk8106]

Bert - “I’m so scared of this disease “ As he’s wiping his ass with his own hands

[@monkeytennis800]

I'm surprised he even wipes.

[@dpapa2175]

eating his bogeys afterwards, and gluing his toenails to underneath a table. Neanderthal

[@christinasailorluna7323]

How is his wife even with him? Any woman would be so grossed out lol.

[@mattweizhongxian7238]

He probably lets it build up for a couple days

[@what-a-life8097]

& picking his nose & eating it 🤮

[@shermangraves6715]

Watching Burt is like watching a fire consume a small village. It’s beautiful from a distance, but when it gets close, all you can hear is the screaming.

[@alexrush4140]

Lmfao that's a much better analogy than Bert's freediving/bidet chat

[@timdegraw1784]

Wow. You sir, are hilarious.

[@AngryTurds]

I often wonder if he has a list of grotesque quirks to act out in public, in order to maintain.

[@SnarkyRogue]

And the smell. Good god almighty the smell.

[@jeffyripz7826]

Toms eye contact with the camera when Burt says stupid shit is what keeps me coming back

[@mandihollingsworth182]

Yes,agreed🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@aegisraven1284]

#theoffice

[@mimigiggles4199]

Next week Bert explains how he licks his Q-tips after cleaning his ears.

[@kyekye1]

Omg! My grandma used to lick her ear Wax 😫 to see if she had a cold or not !!!

[@spanky812]

Cats love earwax. Its sweet to them

[@chefd928]

WTF

[@malkinmalone]

spanky812 Is it sweet to them or do cats just eat nasty shit?

[@hoskins74]

He keeps them in his pocket lol I juuust seen (a show or podcast) and his wife call him on it and he pulled one out

[@Yoitschase]

Every week I feel like bert can’t say anything more gross than before, and every single week I am wrong.

[@Stonecold831]

Holy shit. 100%

[@LarryBird619]

Right off the bat, totally disgusted.

[@willycolton]

UUUUHHHH - HUNDRED PERCENT

[@alaintavakoli4573]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@cloud1306]

Its truly a marvelous super power of something new, grandoise and grody to surprise us with every week.

[@wifigod]

Bert: "I'm terrified of disease." Not heart disease, apparently!

[@denisemarie7991]

This comment deserves sooo many more Likes... !

[@nicholasnixon1311]

Or liver

[@smashin]

Yet he wipes with his hand, takes pool showers, barely maintains his teeth, oh and eats his boogers

[@Checkd_playmate]

And wont get a sleep apnea machine

[@nickgrimes6484]

@@smashin After doing all the math, that's gotta be at least 12 germs that are all up in his mouth. Good thing he has all that low cal kool-aid to help clean out that mess

[@Christopher-md7tf]

Burnt "I don't flush my turds because a woman died free-diving" Kreischart

[@malkinmalone]

He makes karl pilkington seem like a genius. Tom doesn’t even have to point out how ridiculous he is.

[@theafeluch9146]

"Ready for this one?" "Yeah." "Shaya Lepoof"

[@anthonyyyy2858]

"Binafflick"

[@TheSkate2skater]

Cheya Lebloof

[@lovemacheen9189]

Shyluhboof

[@daltonrobo8015]

Why is Bert so worried about germs and diseases when hes like literally the dirtiest person at that studio hands down

[@NaruBrilu]

Lmao exactly. Dude wipes his ass after shitting with his bare hands and takes pool "showers" once in a while

[@michaelhenderson643]

Its ocd type shit, its about managing anxiety. People with high anxiety tend to try to control their enviornment in certain ways to keep themselves from feeling overwhelmed. Its about control, not cleanliness in general, cleanliness is just the variable to control in certain context

[@nothimdesoto1401]

I really think Bert doesn’t even know who Bert is. He lies on lies and contradicts his contradictions.

[@strategicrecords]

Yeah beet is fat

[@RichardSmith-re9ln]

Bert is just a mess. A habitual liar!

[@Lucifer12313]

This show is quickly becoming Bert just talking non stop and Tom just listens with comments every now and then.

[@msabercr]

Sometimes you just have to let them talk themselves out.

[@the5thestate587]

I think it's a way for Tom to rest between his podcasts

[@JC-ot6ec]

Riiight, becoming annoying. He thinks everything he says is amazing

[@anchorbubba]

@@JC-ot6ec alcohol

[@tavog8150]

Its been like this

[@Joshbobjovi]

Burk: **Says something retarded** Tom: ..okayy... Saved you an hour and 13 minutes yall lol

[@de_activatedthe_band5117]

thanks!

[@reedbrady4627]

I wish I would’ve found this sooner I could’ve saved myself from watching 44 episodes 2 brents 1 Bart

[@hay7501]

Burk is a british word for idiot lol

[@feezible]

More likes. Podcast cancelled. Bert's gives me a fucking headache now. Jesus.

[@ceebee491]

So true

[@delsan8288]

This podcast should be called ; Tom Segura presents 2 Bert's 1 Bert.

[@wateronmarzz]

I audibly laughed at this

[@noahw.elliott9525]

Does this annoy you in the slightest, because after 40+ episodes it's kind of getting old......

[@justinpetrash1005]

TurtlenekNChain very annoying, Tom is definitely who everyone wants to hear

[@noahw.elliott9525]

@@justinpetrash1005 alright, just making sure

[@anthonyramirez3452]

Bert is leaning too much into the dumb character. Like Robert downy jr. said “never go full R word” and bert has done it

[@McGintyNHD]

He can't help it

[@ayndeewhygee3656]

My admiration for Bert looks like the current stock market, up and down but a lot more "downs" lately. I'm getting close to blaming Tom for this.

[@fluG4M3]

Yu ye yuo ye yuoo you m mm mmake mee hhaapppy

[@slados1]

"Character"?

[@shardhoney]

he's always been fully tik tok'd

[@enriqueshockwave7632]

After each new episode I just have more and more sympathy for LeeAnn, that poor woman

[@richbanks911]

Well she's his enabler, soooo

[@LorwelDonquist]

To use one of Theos sayings..Bert is like a “deaf jack russell terrier”

[@Nitrolibit]

didnt he say that about eddie bravo?

[@LorwelDonquist]

Nitrolibit yess lol

[@IrieBuddha94]

That was about eddie bravo dude but it does fit burt tbf lol

[@lionsmanexx]

Gang

[@voodoomaestro4295]

Tom: "You talk about Whitney a LOT." Bert: "No, it's just today cause...." Literally, every single other episode: Bert: "Let's call Whitney Cummings!" "Whitney is so hot" "Whitney! You looked really hot in that bathing suit pic on Instagram."

[@TeddyBremmer]

She single now and Bert is moving in. Definitely his top pick for second wife.

[@JSL0812]

It’s getting pathetic

[@pkyy9269]

The Great Lakes oh my god they’re friends LOL

[@christinasailorluna7323]

Disclaimer: I'm NOT jealous at all, I'm pretty confident myself. Ok, now, I don't think Whitney is THAT beautiful, he needs to calm down lol. Altho I agree she's cool lol. Idk how Leann isn't offended by this.

[@mattweizhongxian7238]

Narc

[@wraith176]

Tom: Why don’t you flush Bert? Bert: Free Divers! Lol

[@jasongillum5763]

never watched that doc he's talking about, but the way she died is completely different that what a minimal search of the internet says.

[@robertkitchen3069]

I appreciate Bart blowing Tim's mind with free divers. But it would have been more relatable to say "keys, wallet,.... I forgot the effing mask!"

[@louiegallo1289]

I love how this podcast morphed into Tom asking Bert questions about himself so we can all laugh at him.

[@Joebooks717]

Uuuuuuuhundred percent

[@1337Se7eN7]

I think it's great that Tom does a podcast with a special needs guy

[@ScorpionP2C]

Heres a thought, bert says what tom wants to but knows he cant...

[@KazmaEXE]

A HUNDRED percent 🤣. "I don't remember this ...". "yeah you were asleep " 🤦‍♂️

[@theironemald8779]

Tax write off eh

[@lewisgraver1538]

This is his time served for community service.

[@dubstepandvideogames]

W comment

[@kylerashby1997]

Brent is the type of guy that YMH would love and talk about avidly, because he’s a cool guy.

[@brandonmitchell1056]

They already do that on every other YMH series

[@kylerashby1997]

luk x I think he just REALLY likes dogs and is smelly.

[@VideoNozoki]

39:35 Bill Hader: "Are ANY of us going to get to talk??!" ha ha ha!

[@lornekoch5301]

“Is she turned on by you at all?” *without a second of hesitation* “No.” Lmaooo

[@Nick-ds6oc]

Bert: "I'm terrified of diseases" Also Bert: Has alcoholism

[@bigtheorymusic]

@YungSumGuy this comment was approved by Gang Alcohol

[@Zubb_Yightlear.]

I’m an alcoholic and it’s not a fucking disease man haha, I could stop. You can’t stop having herpes.

[@jakesharp9724]

Yea tops it’s a disorder

[@Propsroadfool]

Bert IS alcoholism

[@RyanJamesDuffy]

Buzz Lightyear It’s a disease...diseases can be cured. Disease: a disorder of structure or function in a human.

[@doranw]

bert is a total tik tok... he added a single extra step in his life and he can't even function. anyone older than about 6 should be able to manage. I bet not even 1% of people start forgetting to flush the toilet after getting a bidet... let alone 50%. i feel really bad for anyone he employs... imagine dealing with that tik tok logic all day when he gets frustrated.

[@nicholasnixon1311]

He's fully tokked

[@smashin]

Maybe because most of his inner circle is tokked and forget so he exaggerates and thinks a ton of people do.

[@Checkd_playmate]

First dozen 2 bear episodes i thought wow this is a big bit......now its pretty obvious that he is genuinly tiktarted.

[@wilsonsclips_]

I got a bidet and I forgot to pick up my kids from school. It’s been 3 months and I’m still sitting on the shitter. I just came across this video of Bart Crysharts and it literally snapped me out of this shit bidet hypnosis. Thanks BORT for reminding me to take the time to remember the important things and NOT fall victim to the toxic toilet water butt spraying delights of our communist allies.

[@SilentPotatoGFX]

@@wilsonsclips_ bro I got a bidet and forgot to take off my pants when I shit we're just like that freediver

[@leodcastle]

I'm amazed that Bert makes comedy for a living.

[@garymarshstein8992]

We all are. But then again, there's Brendan Schaub. The two of them should get together and create some "comedy."

[@DrankenDune]

Damn I got my feelings hurt for Bert after that comparison

[@jimlambert9618]

I felt the same way until I saw him live. He puts on a great live show.

[@dacolts89]

Bert is very funny and a good storyteller. He just doesn't know how to stop talking 🤣

[@robdoherty6822]

Bert looks like Andre the Giant's "Normal" sized brother who drinks because he's jealous of his brothers fame and success

[@Plague_Doc22]

That's spot on..especially since his head is the same size as Andres was.

[@vincenthucknall7175]

That got a chuckle out of me

[@whitebuffalo4904]

be honest, how long did that take you to come up with? because it's amazing.

[@robdoherty6822]

@@whitebuffalo4904 about 3 episodes going "Who is that guy he looks like fuck!" Then it hit me 2 minutes into this episode lmao thank you sir

[@robdoherty6822]

@@Plague_Doc22 Andre the giant is Mikey Mantle's cousin so the theory holds up

[@TurdFerguson456]

Bert: "Me me me, me me, me me me me me, me me me. I I I I, I, I, I I, I I I I I I I I, I I I I I. Me."

[@Buelr]

i was literally screaming Ron White while they were debating the old guy for the group

[@danielpenrodii2389]

He would be perfect for the older guy role. I also thought that Faizon Love would be a great pick for their fat black guy lol

[@walkereugene]

I was thinking Ozzy Osbourne

[@eanwest5009]

I was too!!

[@Blocke691]

Yessssssss!!!!!!!!!!

[@stefanod2402]

Toms soul left his body when Ari told him he had bad breath. *Curb theme plays

[@rodrigo8690]

Ari tells Tom his breath stinks just when Tom has been roasting Bert for being a gross pig and he just plays it off and moves on very quickly. Seriously, this podcast will improve when Tom learns to take some jokes and starts joking about his flaws just like most comedians do. I know Bert is more prone to be the butt of the joke but man, the dynamic is so unbalanced. Joke about yourself Tom, its ok

[@susie7336]

Rodrigo yes and Bert didn’t even grab on to that and run with it because it’s not about him. Such a missed opportunity. And he said they all talk about it. 😂

[@davidroos935]

"Let's talk to a real man" *picks up the phone from the guy that slipped him molly

[@connorwinn7484]

Like Bert really can’t think the things he says is ACTUALLY normal....

[@reillyobrien4372]

If Bert said that he woke up at exactly 2:30am and ate a half ounce of mushrooms every single day since kindergarten, as if that's the normal thing to do and that Tom is weird for not doing it, I would legitimately not be surprised. At this point it's the only theory that makes sense of his behavior.

[@evanabbott2737]

Eating his own boogers and shit....🤮😂

[@pwneyprincess]

Got a bidet and can say I still haven't forgot to flush after because I'm not disgusting

[@denisemarie7991]

I think its a combination of he is pretty dumb and he puts it on for the cameras.

[@EM-nl6sg]

Welcome to the whole basis of the podcast. Tom pointing out to Bert that he’s weird point by point

[@joygernautm6641]

Every time I watch this show I have more and more sympathy for Leigh-ann😂

[@jondoe8275]

I feel like two bears one cave is just Tom being Bert's caretaker.

[@HellaAverage]

When they started picking celebs to go on a trip they're basically recasting Grown Ups.

[@wolf359loki]

The Need Dr Drew to pull out the really deep stories and shit, hahahahaha.

[@nxgsit150]

Uncle joey shoulda been on the list for the guys trip, he's 60 in cocaine years 😂

[@deiselnoe1]

60!......more like 80

[@GenericThomas]

Only 60? 🧐

[@nicholasnixon1311]

He's only 57????? I thought he was like 65

[@nxgsit150]

@@deiselnoe1 well in Joey's words "Im 57 but 87 in coke years"

[@deanjuliano7849]

Joey's a great hang, but he'd totally dose 60%-65% of anyone chilling with him. "Joey, what's in this popcorn??" "Ha, Ha, Ha, HAAAAA!!! The devil's asshole, BITCH!!!!"

[@aaronamar3936]

I wish tom would steal the wheel back when Bert does shit like impersonating Denzel

[@smashin]

Segment made no sense.

[@squattingeagle666]

Yeah I’ve got an 8 year old that can read the room better than he can when he nosedives that hard. It’s kind of sad after a certain point.

[@chaunceytalent]

Bert: "I haven't been to the grocery store in 138 days. I'm so scared!" - But has been in a ton of Wal-Mart Supercenters, gas stations, and toured during a pandemic. 🤔👌👍

[@Charlie2nice]

Why does this show have so many commercials, is it for nedav to pay off his gambling debt.

[@Josh-ie4hb]

I just can't stop watching when bert gets going. It's like "what batshit crazy thing is he going to try to normalize next?

[@whitebuffalo4904]

dude, when bert answers tom's question "so you don't flush your turds?" with "there's a woman who died freediving" i legit froze for 20 seconds trying to process the exchange i'd just witnessed lol "there's a woman who died freediving i always used to flush my turds there's a woman who died freediving" *HAHAHAHAHAHA*

[@knoxmlgclan]

Thanks for making me brush more often!

[@stjames3852]

"I'm afraid of disease" >doesn't shower

[@jesperhjensen1978]

pool, ocean and lake counts as showers.....

[@deanfranz]

In the mind of a child in an adult's body, maybe...

[@layneanthony5488]

Bless Lord Tom and all his contributions, every Monday, to mental health charities.

[@jesperhjensen1978]

Bert: "I've always been on the right side of history".......hmmm okay Bert

[@darkpoet18]

For you’re guys trip for the young guy get the guy who played Harry Potter aka Daniel Radcliffe.

[@darkpoet18]

derek barnes That’s that homeless looking guy everyone is so nice to.

[@danaoconnor9523]

Bert: "I don't go out(unless it's something I think is fun, or something I really want to do, otherwise I get my wife to do it for me)"

[@chriswitry6976]

‘Well, it’s normal size’ -Bert talking about anything in excess that he does

[@LordSeth-hf8ew]

It's "low calorie" 😂😂😂

[@Hjaelteomslag]

He's a grower, not a shower. He's not a showerer either.

[@stoneyardband]

@@Hjaelteomslag what are u talking about? a pool counts as a shower

[@Hjaelteomslag]

@@stoneyardband Not if you're asking Leanne!

[@RD-qb7sd]

Come on Mark, don't be stingy.

[@aleatoric909]

Bert is a master at forcing you to dislike him. Its seriously an art at this point.

[@josephdavis2695]

I’ve never wanted to like someone so much and had them prevent me from doing so with such relentlessness. It’s unreal.

[@RyanJamesDuffy]

Red Panda Music Perfectly stated.

[@Mario-em1zg]

The laughs in the back are the best

[@kevinroux8856]

They should pepper in the “Nadav is googling” song on this podcast too. Can never get too much of that

[@justinpetrash1005]

And Jamie is gone to Texas so Nadav has no one to learn from

[@SR-kt7jc]

My prediction before watching this episode: Tom - "You know, I read something very interesting today, it seems-" Bert - "OH MY GOD WE SHOULD GET SUPER INTO DIRT BIKES AND BECOME DIRT BIKE RACERS"

[@brookspn]

I think this applies to every episode.

[@Rollinrollinrollin84]

Literally

[@Revolution1117]

"...yeah, and we could get a big ranch in Montana with a bunch of other guys and we could have horses and shoot rifles, and, and, and, ...blah, blah, blah." Another typical Brent 10 yr old boy fantasy...

[@owenjohnson7447]

Revolution1117 who hurt you friend?

[@nallsriv7169]

Owen Johnson lmao right, sounds like they just want to hear tom talk to tom

[@Master_Crane]

Watching Bert impersonating Denzel was one of the more disturbing things I’ve seen

[@jpanici]

I wish Tom wasn’t part of this show because then I wouldn’t have to watch it anymore...

[@bradey6949]

Hahahaha I just realized I think that’s the only reason I watch it and lately haven’t finished an episode cuz Bert is too much. He can be funny but too much of him is like when the douchey kid at a college party starts dominating the convo...

[@2bears1bankaccnt43]

Hey without Bert Tom would be funny!! What are you trying to do!!! 2 Bears equals twice the ad reads son!

[@shanefoster333]

Same. It really is the same thing every week, and I only watch for Tom. Bert would be the least funniest comedian if it wasn't for Brendan Shaub.

[@codyleviwaffle]

Tom is definitely deserving of a solo podcast in English.

[@hay7501]

Considering I don’t watch barfs podcast, I’m definitely here for Tom lol

[@nathanl5091]

Bert: I haven't been to store, bar in 138 days Tours, does stand up at a bar and sends a video to rogan.

[@jasonray6458]

Bert: How fast can a horse run? (Confidently says) 100 miles per hour.

[@BigbyOShaunessy]

This episode in another one of Burnt's public psychotherapy sessions.

[@xRamZx]

Booger eating, what a Bert way to start

[@BabyFoodChewer]

I feel like after a point it’s not even funny and just concerning lol. Nothing will ever top him scraping shit out of his ass with his hands to wipe though

[@iphonesuzy6790]

🎁

[@hhcdfhngdzjjbf579]

"I'm fucking disgusting" *intro starts* "100%"

[@dongletron69]

Fun fact: eating boogers help build your immune system too.

[@akyeti]

Dude last 2 episodes bert has been my best friend over talking and asks questions and gives a tip 2 u get 1 in and its over hahaha still love my dude

[@savsaga8265]

The guy laughing in the background absolutely kills me lmao

[@sweetbabyrick5382]

I feel like a crafty editor could whittle this down to 30 minutes of gold.

[@Giovanni-nj1xo]

bronze

[@RyanJamesDuffy]

Yep! It would be 30 minutes of Tom!

[@CallumJonesComedy]

NOPE!

[@bonebreaker1029]

Eating boogers is gross and all, until you realize he has shotgunned beers out of his frat brothers colons.

[@bushtruck]

On my channel we never eat boogers. Just drive trucks hard in the mountains and make people laugh.

[@jessewilkin]

@@bushtruck lol idiot

[@tannerjohnson1602]

This episode is peak Bert

[@elagace03]

Two bears, one cave, fifty ads.

[@seanwilliams5916]

I think YMH just uses 2b1c as easy cash: Bert talks himself into a hole Tom does Ad reads Easy money

[@garymarshstein8992]

Tom is known as the most mercenary of all the LA comics.

[@high5807]

They do way too many ads in 2b1c in my opinion

[@shaunradomski8625]

What are you mommies talking about? While your lordship is putting on his mackweldons after a fresh manscape, and preparing to ship a package of new shadyrays to my policygenius rep, I listen to this wonderful show and never hear any ads!

[@giantmagician7246]

2 bears 1 bank account

[@Waytheresawill]

@@shaunradomski8625 you listen to it on raycons you forgot to add

[@Phishin4Dead]

For their trip I’m thinking Zach Galifankis and Peter Dinklage would be a great addition to the crew

[@dylanvazquez9374]

Bert doesn’t flush his poop or brush his teeth in the morning. No wonder his wife has a trainer 😂

[@sohambubka05]

Bert Kreischer and Whitney Cummings - a match made in junkyard

[@thestraydog]

The best marriage in the trailer park

[@SpicyDisco]

I don't know who's always bustin a gut laughing in the background, but its so great

[@Carebear_311]

Imagine Bert acting like this with Bill Burr. (We all know he never would)

[@malkinmalone]

I understand where your coming from but after watching him make an ass of himself with adam sandler that time I don’t really know if he can control it. I mean he may just be fully tok’d

[@richgerow3472]

That's because Bill calls Bert out on his bullshit. Just watch any episode of the Bill Bert podcast, and you see why Bert comes with a totally different energy around Bill.

[@MrSoldierboi420]

Bill is technically Bert's boss on that channel and he isn't exactly known for silly fuck around comedy. Bert says plenty of gross stupid shit on other podcasts hes just more comfortable saying crazy shit when its just him with his best friend.

[@kdiaz1214]

This should be called 2 bears 100 ads

[@VonTelevision]

Not even 10 minutes in and Bert is WYLIN!!! LMFAO

[@Hatterboot24]

I smelled this podcast when I woke up this morning.

[@jorgea.hernandez1733]

So, they want a fat guy to take camping and will be just hilarious? Tim Dillon!!!

[@bender8784]

Or Faizon

[@dopeinfertility]

Exactly then we will be watching bert basically coming out to impress him.

[@ekima2]

Fluffy

[@Ramboskates85]

People think Tim Dillon is funny?? He’s just diet Alex Jones.

[@schrippe24]

Bruce’s point about Denzel in a Porsche is so tokked I’m dying

[@421less1]

Leeane is totally into "gaaaaeeeugh" Just when her trainer does it.

[@travish1853]

It’s fantastic to see Bert slapped in the face with his own reality of not being able to run at half the speed of Usain Bolt

[@paperhandpapi]

The excuses Bert uses to disregard how disgusting he is amazes me.

[@luisguzman8161]

The more i watch this podcast, the less i can stand bert.

[@garymarshstein8992]

That's been the sentiment from most viewers since the start.

[@spohair]

He is much more of an asshole than I realized before this podcast. He’s very rude to people he sees as underlings.

[@luisguzman8161]

@@spohair I agree. that part is even more offputting than his unbridled stupidity

[@d.c.1059]

asenine, gross, racist. oooooh, lol

[@Popothechinchilla]

Honestly. Mentally stuck where his party lifestyle started at 15 or w/e

[@mr.Swartz]

Burt needs a Bill Burr to smack him back to reality

[@AustinBabineau]

Dont be stingy bert, let me see that kool-aid

[@wateronmarzz]

New merch

[@theshineyone1111]

lmao. give it to me brett give it to me

[@JAaronMattox]

This talk about the “guy’s trip” is eerily similar to the Always Sunny party mansion conversation

[@jtreid0907]

"dude it's a bicep"

[@JAaronMattox]

jtreid0907 if you want it to be a bicep it needs more veins

[@Pengielol]

Bert: "I'm not gonna pronounce his last name correctly" also Bert: "I'm very Progressive"

[@MericanMatty1776]

Bert just admitted that his brain cant do more than a three step process

[@wyatthausman4377]

"And today, on the Bert Talking At Tom podcast!"

[@danielpenrodii2389]

Bert had zero issues with traveling across the country in a bus with guys, but Tom buying a coffee is over the line.

[@jonchilds6536]

Bert is becoming exhaustingly tok'd.

[@blakebryant3458]

trying to eat while watching this podcast is the hardest tribulation ive ever had to face

[@phaedrus1267]

Next week: "Bert tells how he punctured his ear drum removing ear wax with a coat hanger"

[@smashin]

Yeah those things may clean but they can't be the safest.

[@reedbrady4627]

Please don’t say that, can you imagine how much more annoying he will be if he’s deaf

[@judsonchilds1265]

I love that Bert looks so much different in the ad reads.

[@polybiusnymb6446]

Bert has attempted the Ben “Uh-fleck” bit in front of Tom on previous occasions. He thinks it’s cute and prays each time that Tom will call him out so the bit can work. I guess this time Tom decided to throw him bone. Tom seems a bit drained

[@siouxsieslime2985]

Jesus i read this before that part and with the context of your comment i almost wanted to hurt bert for that joke

[@polybiusnymb6446]

siouxsie Slime Just doing my part

[@StefanSchulzMan]

On this episode of 1 bear interrupting another bear..

[@dadudedrew_7225]

I wish Tom took over the show more frequently. I’m tired of hearing Brent Crystals yap for an hour and a half.

[@bfarmer6218]

Bert thinks 50% of the population is like him. No.

[@RG-tm7uq]

I wish Tom would start another podcast with one of his friends 😪

[@bfarmer6218]

@@RG-tm7uq i like Bert and the podcast, but I would love to see a podcast with Tom and Santino. Those two are gold together.

[@slados1]

It's par for the course

[@juliuspronk7532]

He really thinks 50% of the population bathes in a fucking swimming pool

[@steamedyam]

I’d say he represents 33% of the population and I think that’s what makes what he says funnier 😂😭

[@cottynmouth]

Eh man, Bert has to be taking his “Bert character” to the limit on this pod. There is no way a human can act like this all the time.

[@2bears1bankaccnt43]

Bert is that kid in Middle that will say anything if he gets approval or a laugh. He was the kid eating grasshoppers and one-upping your story no matter what it was about or how little he knew about the topic. #storytellers

[@nothin6121]

Have you only just started watching...this guy is legit this way 24/7 .his poor wife hahaha

[@anthonyramirez3452]

Josh Sienkiewicz true, but I feel like he’s been leaning into it lately

[@sinkhole420]

every now and again i'm reminded that they live in LA, this is def one of those episodes.

[@scottt89]

this episode doesn't have enough ads

[@Valstein0]

This was the funniest Bert has been ever.

[@christopherdepew788]

Post Malone would be a great addition to that "Guys Trip!"

[@badhabit8824]

I am a grown man and i love Bert.

[@VintageKicksGallery]

You guys are going HAM with these ads today.

[@garymarshstein8992]

it's always been a straight up cash grab. The LA comics know their clock is ticking.

[@kylepickering5202]

Tom is slowly ruining Bert’s life and we’re all along for the ride

[@slywolfe]

I think Bert would be much worse off without Tom lol

[@zackshrum9030]

Yea I think Bert is doing a fine job of it by himself

[@well_as_an_expert_id_say]

Bert is ruining Berts life, what tf are you talking about 😂 Tom is just displaying it for our enjoyment ❤️