Episode 010 | Faith Unfiltered Q&A: Your Spicy Questions about Intimacy after Mormonism

[@ExmoRaymo]

The purity culture was surprisingly one of the toughest issues we encountered after our deconstruction. Years later we still are processing the individual internal shame.

[@Faith.unraveled]

I feel this 💯

[@chase8326]

The way multiple bishops told me I was addicted to porn, but when I finally went to a therapist outside of LDS family services, they said that nothing I described was consistent with addiction! It’s like any sexual behavior in the church is seen as addictive and betrayal.

[@jaredbstevens84]

In 2010, I was studying abroad in Germany, an area where I'd previously served my mission. One Sunday, I went back to church and tried to help by placing hymn books on chairs. Someone yelled at me for being 'disrespectful' because I wasn't setting them down gently enough. I was stunned. I never went back, and sadly, that experience became a symbol of the growing distance I felt. It wasn't the sole reason I left the church - there were many factors - but it definitely played a role. After a few more years of trying, I ultimately chose to step away.

[@Abbasgirl312]

I just discovered this channel so I subscribed and i'm loveing it.

[@Faith.unraveled]

@@Abbasgirl312 welcome!! 🩵🫶

[@oddcheese6384]

29 and single largely because of the shame the church taught me to feel towards my body and my sexuality. I’m on my way out of the church now, but just a year ago I was sitting in an institute class, and my teacher taught that as a woman, my body belongs to God until I am married. So pleasuring myself is cheating on God. And then once I’m married, my body belongs to my husband and pleasuring myself is cheating on my husband. So nowhere in that scenario does my body ever belong to me as a woman, nor does my sexual satisfaction matter. And that wasn’t the first time that I’ve heard that teaching. I’ve been taught that since I was in young women’s, when they first started to teach us about the law of chastity. I remember one of my bishops, telling us as young women, that if we dressed immodestly, we were walking pornography to the young men. What a load of crap. I just got rid of my garments and bought a tank top for the first time today in my life. Time to show off those sexy shoulders!

[@kentthalman4459]

Awesome dialogue.

[@jaredpoulter9976]

Thank you so much all of you for your thoughts on the harmful news of what Charlie Bird is doing! I haven't heard anyone else echo that! I'm now out of the church and deconstructing but before that I had the harmful false hope that he preaches and it set me back.

[@emptynesters2520]

It’s great to hear your perspective! It’s actually the first time we’ve ever seen a video like this so thank you for tackling these topics! We agree 100% with the not opening the marriage, for us that would never be something we’d entertain. To each his own though👍🏻

[@Faith.unraveled]

🫶🏻

[@Faith.unraveled]

I’m so glad that resonated with you! Isn’t it a relief to be able to say, to each their own!

[@user-eu8nm2dc1y]

Liking you two!!❤

[@Faith.unraveled]

🙏🏻🙏🏻💖

[@drbulbul]

Loved this conversation. Thanks!

[@TheMormonAtheist]

Great show. Always enjoy the conversation.

[@Fancifulflyfisherman]

Thank you for your openness and addressing the real challenges purity culture can put in peoples minds that gets in the way of them experiencing their sexuality fully. I will say that in terms of abuse, the porn industry far outstrips purity culture in its abhorrent treatment of women. It’s one thing if a woman does voluntarily do porn in a safe space. However, nearly any documentary on what the real porn industry is like in terms of violence towards women, STDs, and the number of suicides by porn actors is stomach churning. So a lot of porn does hurt people, particularly women. Human trafficking being a part of it, but even women who go in voluntarily then get horribly abused behind the protection of the work agreements with producers, male actors are free to abuse the women to extreme extent. So all that to say, we do need to be free of oppressive religious culture, but not everything in the world is inherently good. Some of it is far worse. Thank you for addressing that.

[@ivonna.tinkle]

Hey I think the strip tease question was mine… Anyway, I took a strip tease class with a bunch of lady friends 18 years ago and was 5 months pregnant, so I was totally showing. It was really fun and working the pole was so much easier than I thought It would be. Oh btw, I call the “toy” mommas little helper. My thoughts on p0rn and swinging… I’m not a fan, I think it gives men and women unrealistic expectations about how to look, act and wear. IMHO

[@Faith.unraveled]

Yasssss 😅🙏🏻🫶🏻

[@BoromirTolkien]

I was wondering if strip tease classes are actually a thing (kind of sound fun). Thanks for sharing.

[@williamwallaceg2627]

I think sexual purity is encountered very differently for men and women. It is harmful for both and harmful in different ways for some. The lie of the church being right is toxic, pervasive and often enigmatic. The enigma makes it difficult to cope with.

[@Alnava-ml3wn]

Have any of you tried magic mushrooms, psilocybin. The exmo community seems to be very active with this substance. I’m curious.

[@rilum97]

Purity Culture is important, but you should not enforce your beliefs on others. Also, talking about it, is nothing wrong either.

[@sjjsc92661]

I am an exmo, and love your channel. I agree sexual shaming is unhealthy. However, I disagree on one main point in this podcast. You said pornography is not "inherently addictive" and "doesn't harm anyone." There have been multiple studies done on the effects of pornography to the brain. It has been shown to alter the brain, particularly when there is regular viewing. I work with clients who have pornography addictions, and every single one has dysfunctional relationship and mental health issues. I don't believe it is healthy to shame someone for the natural desire to explore their sexuality; however, pornography can quickly become determential to one's mental health. There are many people who literally cannot live a functional life due to their pornography addiction. As far as the perception pornography "doesn't hurt anyone," explore the reality that many of these "actors" are actually underage teen girls or women who are performing by force without portraying it. Many of them go on to deal with issues like depression, suicidal tendencies, drug and alcohol addictions just to try and cope with the percieved harmless lifestyle of adult films. People would be shocked to know how many makers of this material also secretly produce child pornography because there is a demand for both. So in a sense, viewers are also supporting the latter even if they don't view it. There is much the Mormon church has wrong, but avoiding pornography isn't one of them.

[@Faith.unraveled]

Thank you for sharing this with us 🙏

[@ScriptureMonkey]

Your parents must be so proud of you for rejecting your beliefs along with any standard of decency.

[@grantbeck9228]

Their parents beliefs are not their beliefs and there was nothing indecent about anything they discussed in this video. You are trying to protect the cult you believe in. You are scared and defensive and feel the need to attack others that leave the cult. Could anything be more predictable and sad than prudish Mormons trying to enforce shame around sex?

[@Faith.unraveled]

And yet, here you are. Consuming this content. Where does that put you scripture monkey?

[@JedHenry]

Of course the shame police come out to project their insecurities onto others

[@psmith535]

Scripture Monkey, I think you hit the nail on the head. You mentioned “rejecting your beliefs“, Moroni spoke of this specifically. He talks about the importance of people awakening to their awful situation. I have awakened to my awful situation, these people have awakened to their awful situation, I suggest that you awaken to yours. I suggest you look into the church that you have always believed, is God’s one true church, and ask yourself why the top leaders of the church are so supportive of satanic organizations. Once you realize President Nelson is a supporter of communism and the United Nations it begins to make more sense why he wants everyone to get injected, as well as wear facemasks that do absolutely nothing beneficial. Scripture Monkey, I’m serious, why is it that President Nelson joined two different satanic organizations when he was in college? It all fits together, he’s one of them. No man can serve two masters, do you know what i’m talking about? Either President Nelson is in the service of the Lord, or he is in the service of Satan, he can’t truly do both. if you truly understood the gospel, if you truly understood the book of Mormon, and if you truly understood that Gadianton Robbers still operate in secrecies today, you would see the writing on the wall. The LDS church is in total compliance with Satan‘s most powerful organizations. Moroni was speaking to us in our day when he asks LDS church leadership a very important question, “why have ye polluted the holy Church of God“? Some people read things like the CES letter, and it often causes them to lose all faith in God, and in their Savior. Other people just see all of the inconsistencies in the world today, and in the LDS church today, and they see how off track things really are. that’s when people leave the church they have been a part of for many years. Once you recognize how off track the church really is then you realize you no longer want to be a part of an organization that is literally misleading people. I’m guessing you rolled up your sleeve and took the jab just like your satanic church leaders asked you to, am I correct? Nowhere in scripture are we ever told to follow a prophet. Following a false prophet might be the most dangerous thing we could ever do.

[@GuyRegular]

She should be proud of herself for pulling her head out of the sand and realizing that she was bamboozled by a cult