Eugene Mirman 2009 LHS Commencement Speech

[@chthoniapodcast]

Eugene read his draft of this speech at the Rumpus/McSweeney's party in New York City just a couple of weeks before...I couldn't believe he really gave the speech. Damn lucky kids at Lexington!

[@andrewkling9530]

17 people got too excited when they read The Fountainhead

[@deborahellison1525]

I love you Eugene, you are my hero!

[@DKbridge100]

I was a mirman fan way before I found out he attended my high school and middleschool, but this makes him even cooler!!!!

[@ingbelt]

Don't get too excited when you read "The Fountainhead". priceless

[@EquivalentTrade]

Thanks for speaking at my graduation Mr. Mirman :D you were great.

[@ChachiTelevision1979]

Eugene, we could listen to you ramble for hours.

[@sammythemc]

I wish Eugene Mirman was around to warn me against getting too excited after reading the Fountainhead, it would have saved me a couple years

[@malaciousmarty]

@andrewclunn because being featured on comedy central multiple times is failing. right?

[@bungbung13131]

so fucking awesome i love how a few of the people got the joke as soon as he said "garden party"

[@DigitalLazarus]

I adore Eugene and have since 1996! He is truly splendid. Follow him on Twitter for a daily dose of hilarity ...

[@9000Luke]

Eugene Mirman is one of the best comedians out today

[@wutrain]

i wish he was here for us again this year. we got someone awkward this time..

[@LeeAnnSox87]

He graduated from our high school in the 90's

[@stockholmcindy6793]

The crowded seemed unimpressed and bored at the beginning, but he completely won them over within a minute or two in.

[@GRANDMABROOKE]

@DIYmeat i dunno but, kinda seems like most comics are soft. good or bad.

[@townshend445]

OMG He's from Lexington?

[@MastaRikta]

@andrewclunn Of course?!

[@cconway1982]

best graduation speech ever

[@xliver4]

i dont get it....

[@CaptainWiiTube]

You, sir, have made a mockery of the institution of high school!

[@AccioHHr]

"I did my assigment worse than not doing it." WOW, almost spit out my coffee. Awesome.

[@yumayuma1425]

I got a negative 0.3 on a test in jr high it was catholic school so i guess that says a lot

[@discordandruin]

"Don't get too excited when reading the Fountainhead"

[@bigmansmallmouth]

I should go back in time and go to LHS so I can watch this speech and tell stories about it for years. Eugene, mastermind.

[@ISteppedOnATurd]

Hahaha I wish we had somebody hilarious at my high school graduation.

[@playedescapade]

I wish Eugene was there to make a speech at my graduation last year, so maybe then I wouldn't be in the shit that I am now.

[@Laihoistheman]

he sounds just like a laid back teacher from my school.

[@ndbrandt]

I didn't know Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan was so funny!

[@chasingamy77]

Andy, i am imagining him saying it with an entire banana shoved in his mouth...AND faking a british accent

[@JacKn1feSugarTrucK]

LMAO "Someone has made a terrible mistake by asking me to do this."

[@rwatson8]

"...celebrate...at your weird party."

[@sf49ersa8]

I can't believe this is actually real.

[@pleasingbaritone]

well played, sir

[@thomasburn]

haha!!! I nearly pissed myself at the fountainhead thing! so true....

[@sammythemc]

I laughed wayyyy too hard at that pun.

[@SQLinjected]

I don't get why people hate Ayn Rand so much. I realize that there are people that read her books and become smug pricks, but I think that people should take the best parts of what she has to offer and reflect on them. She taught rationality over superstition and tradition, and personal responsibility over blaming others for your problems. She said that its within a person's power to do whatever they want to, through hard work and logical measure. What's wrong with that?

[@cornyking1992]

i never felt like that why cant people just like books

[@foxjulia007]

Best Graduation Speech :D

[@The3rdPlateau]

lmao...i got a negative eight. that's right; i did worse than not doing the assignment.

[@jacobsladderfat]

i was here son

[@myfragilesin]

Winchester High School's graduation is on a fucking field and Lexington High gets the fucking Tsongas?! Bullshit.

[@TheKirkYates]

Come to my school!

[@1844Freddy]

Genius

[@PorkchopLSX]

16 people are so depressed that not even good comedy could scratch a dent in their misery...teehee! Sorry you didn't make commencement and have the GED alternative instead...'good enough diploma' for the Mike Tyson followers :-p

[@chrizhome]

this speech is great :D

[@carlo88moe]

@penguin112493 do the entire bit! haha, seriously no one will find out, and if they do eventually, who cares, ull be gone :)

[@laughingstock133]

I just cried. That was so frakking funny.

[@carlo88moe]

@9000Luke wish more knew that, but he's, fortunately in my opinion, as its the reason i love him, he's gloriously unaccessible...mostly to idiots

[@PaulC-Drums]

@andrewclunn "Failed comic" meaning he's actually funny.

[@DrDeke21]

Aw man I loved watching this in real life, if it wasn't for that I might have killed myself out of bordem

[@flamebait07]

Oh my god, this is amazing hahahaha.

[@carlo88moe]

@slowlydirt haha, couldnt have put it better, noisch one

[@Kelavmeister]

Wow.. ballsy speech!

[@Vsar426]

... it's a book...

[@purplehaze0120]

@andrewclunn Trying to use objectivism to point out the value of money and business should make everyone hate you.

[@jlhguitar]

Looks like 16 people failed, then barely passed, and then went nowhere in life.

[@mattaki]

totally pro

[@nononouh]

2

[@Zombien20]

haaahahahahaha!

[@PhillyLet]

haha, this is very great

[@phillyphan32992]

Hahaha, that was awesome.

[@cmitch419]

hah, that was awesome

[@randallmclaren]

you're only mature enough to shoot our enemies in the face... hahaha

[@Eugene2098357]

@andrewclunn Hey Howard Roark! What's up? Sorry your perfect building was ruined by misguided altruists. That sucks.

[@MrBeefcake2150]

hahhahahahahaha unless your dreams are stupid

[@MastaRikta]

I bet you wish you'd RAND away!