Evaluating the Role of Rewards & Punishments in Parenting | Dr. Becky Kennedy & Dr. Andrew Huberman

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@HubermanLabClips 6 ай бұрын

This clip is from the Huberman Lab episode "Dr. Becky Kennedy: Protocols for Excellent Parenting & Improving Relationships of All Kinds." The full episode can be found on KZbin here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/joXCZ3-soM2rrNE

@stunt2flame 5 ай бұрын

Is there any genuine book out on basic science of Quartz crystal's biochemistry or bioelectric impact on bio cellular level?

@noheapai4145 5 ай бұрын

I don’t use punishment or reward. Chores are simply doing your part within our household. School work is on you I do not pressure them to get good grades, they do have to face the consequences if they don’t do the work. Bad behavior is a symptom of not knowing. So it’s a sign to me as a parent that there’s guidance needed. My aunt was at my house the other day and she commented on how easy things were with them. I didn’t have to constantly repeating myself or raise my voice. She also noticed how peaceful my home was. ❤

@boreduser12 5 ай бұрын

And how did u get there? Do u just have children who were born this way? That has been our goal since day 1 but now, with a 6 and 4 year old, there is a battle every single day on every topic since they just want to resist everything. And our 1 year old will soon learn the same from them. In their nature school, they follow the rhythm quietly and happily. It's very sad and irreversible in my opinion. Nothing has changed after reading dozens of books, listening to podcasts. Those strategies don't work. Also, which country are you in?

@boreduser12 5 ай бұрын

Also,why are you listening to this video since it doesn't apply to your kids haha No no I get it. It's interesting. The topic of raising children is interesting. There is just too much information out there and its becoming complicated. And our entire point was to just be a family that does the things a family needs to do together. But it's challenging since they want to do what they want to do. Punishment has not worked. Reward I don't believe in since it's not something I had. Just talking about how we do things does not work. The more talking the worse it gets. And learning by watching us doens twork since they just think we will do everything. It always requires some way of tricking them into doing things by using some weird spiral reverse psychology. But there is no energy to come up with something like that for every thing.

@jonathanruiz7877 5 ай бұрын

I understand the school portion of consequences for school work …as grades and embarrassment will assit in doubtful the right thing .. But what if they don’t do thier chores ? They suffer having a dirty room? Leave clothes in living room ? So what

@flabberGiSTed 4 ай бұрын

You should write a book 🥰. Amazing!

@martian2207 6 ай бұрын

This is wonderful. Excellent job getting valuable insight readily available within 10 minutes. Thank you, Huberman Lab team.

@SharadaTaurus85 3 ай бұрын

Thanks!

@newday2637 6 ай бұрын

Great video, I totally agree with not using the reward and punishment system. My goal always was to raise my kids to be independent good people. But also be there to encourage , coach them and be there if they fall. But children will at times they will fall or not always do the right thing. Their punishment should match the degree of it, but be dropped once it's over .. I believe in encouraging children and making the feel that what they helped you with , was important . But most important to be there to listen to them.

@abhinavdhami1158 6 ай бұрын

You just kind of contradicted your own statement, first saying i don’t believe in punishment system and then saying the punishment should match with a degree of the act, just saying.

@newday2637 6 ай бұрын

@@abhinavdhami1158 I believe there are times when a child does something that there should be punishment for . I do not believe in rewarding a child for everything they do , the same as a punishment for every action. But there are certain behaviors I believe there should be a punishment for.

@jimmyjames6867 5 ай бұрын

This lines up a lot with the Hunt Gather Parent book. Model good behavior, welcome help, and sometimes acknowledge when the child is being helpful.

@jkosinski87 6 ай бұрын

Great discussion :) What caught my attention is the concept of being inherently good or bad and I think none of that is actually possible. Good and Bad is something created by adults (a set of rules/boundaries/desired behaviors that are perceived as good or bad) so I think the child is born neutral and we as adults shape them to become good or bad (or in other words fit the society or not).

@mlimrx 6 ай бұрын

Thank you for doing these clips, bite sized knowledge:)

@robshayz7283 6 ай бұрын

Beautiful explained thanks so much for sharing ❤

@brentg2792 6 ай бұрын

The lack of effort to learn how to cope with different emotions is what’s frustrating with kids. I realize they get overwhelmed emotionally easily but not trying to learn to work through it and defaulting to their comfort zone of freaking out is the most frustrating thing for me as a parent.

@ta0paipai 5 ай бұрын

Especially frustrating when they don’t learn it into childhood, the teenage years, young adulthood and even adulthood. I think we see the results of this lack of emotional education/tuning on the news often nowadays.

@tasd5673 5 ай бұрын

Any ideas for help we have this issue like this I’m thinking

@abhinavdhami1158 6 ай бұрын

She has a nice point to make. Though some form of punishment and reward will always be there i think.

@generationrecon 6 ай бұрын

I like that , are you having an issue remembering to clean up , or maybe just need help building your skill of organizing toys after play time

@Krokador 6 ай бұрын

It doesn't work with all the kids tho. If we ask my step daughter what could help her remember, or what we could do differently to remind her to do stuff so she does it, she just gets angry or ignores the question. And when we try to express that stuff she says is hurtful, to us or other people, she replies instantly that she doesn't care. It's so frustrating... How are we supposed to trust her when leaving her alone/not watching her means coming home to a mess we can't get her to clean (she will ignore our requests until we give in, because there are generally no consequences because apparently punishment is also.bad parenting) every. Single. Time? 😢

@veronikadeneva8063 3 ай бұрын

Most adults cannot cope with their feelings all the time, not to mention kids. Rewards punishment system is valid for grown ups as well, I don’t know why this should be wrong for children.

@kaesees 5 ай бұрын

Skipping consequences worked great for Barbara Fried!

@bigdaddysaddy2286 4 ай бұрын

For being an expert this chick is all over the place. Also if you believe children are inherently good you don’t see “bad” behaviors as bad. You see it as curiosity, inexperience, or lack of knowledge. Parenting is natural when love is placed above everything else.

@JulieeeB 6 ай бұрын

So helpful.

@theCombinator 6 ай бұрын

Better to do nothing. The endless complaini g from my parents about my foodmanners, realy turned me against them in my puberty. It was a precursur to rebel against them. The eyes on my as a child. Not being able to it right was so much more damageable than a few more behavioural correct ways of doing things. I hate eating with others, been 30 years now annoyed of how others eat. I can't help but try to correct my own kids in eating..it's terrible. So hard to break this trendline... I woukd say. Skip it. And ones in a while, have an adult talk with them. When you had a positive day with them.