Example of Vindictiveness with Vulnerable Narcissism

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[@lnc-to4ku]

How could anyone carry a grudge well into their 70's? What an unhealthy waste of life.

[@chipchippie]

Sometimes they come back to haunt you though I had a enemy in school who was my best friend in the 6th grade. He did things like oh cut the principles brake lines and blamed it on me I almost got expelled from school. Later on you became a drug dealer that I suspected was selling drugs to my little brother who died in 1996 so they could come back to bite you no matter how old they are. And while I don't wallow in my dislike of him , he's now a quadriplegic from an auto accident he was in when he was drunk driving so karma is in effect.

[@feefiisaifon7131]

Many scary movies do such a theme. Revenge never cares how long it will take for a psychopath and a narcissit will never let go.

[@maryshaffer5675]

I have family like that.

[@southernlady5085]

Oh, they can! My Grandmother took care of her mother-in-law. Grandmother was very btter about it and the financial stress upon the family. I must say that her mother-in-law wasn’t the most pleasant of people and very far from being “ a sweet old lady.”

[@Bizarro69]

Welcome to the world of personality disorders 😆

[@Godlvr008]

George had that happen in Seinfeld, and his comeback was upped. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.

[@peterliebezeit5636]

Ahh yes, the infamous “Jerk Store” incident lol

[@haltersweb]

George Castanza: “I’m going with ‘jerk store’!!”

[@mj2495]

"...and they said they were out of you"

[@mj2495]

Reply "The ocean called..."

[@patstokes7040]

My mother lived in a little town growing up, and she was in high school in the 1930. Years later she had never gotten over that one girl had been mean to hear in high school. We went to the 40 year get together for her high school. She was in her 60 and looked forward to insulting that women. The poor women had become a lunch lady, was old and broken down and my mother had married well. I had no idea she was going to insult that lady after all those year. She demeaned that women for her position, and berating her for never leaving the town and then bragged a about her own life. It was the life is was afford by my Dad and had nothing to do with what she had done. She hadn't done anything, she had never even had a job. My mother never forgave anyone, including her children. She lived for 99 years and guess who had to take care of her. ME. Those kind of people are nasty pieces of work.

[@lindanorton2088]

My mom who is a vulnerable narcissist cleaned up a bunch of dog poop in the neighbor yard and put it on someone’s doorstep and waited and watched for the person to step and fall on his stairs. My mom then proceeded to call me about the whole experience. She was extremely giddy and proud of what she had done.

[@infinitejest441]

Don’t piss her off.

[@lindanorton2088]

@@infinitejest441 it’s kinda hard not too :)

[@melistasy]

Wow. yes, try to stay on her good side! All the best!

[@memyself4431]

Needs counseling

[@jturtle5318]

Did they fall? That's a little over the top.

[@victoriavitoroulis3273]

This is exactly why you can’t take a Hoover lightly .. they don’t miss you .. they just want to complete their mission of Destroying you . 😵‍💫

[@rejaneoliveira5019]

It is said that revenge is a poison that people drink and wait for the other person to die. I believe that to be true, I just can’t see how being vindictive is a helpful strategy. Excellent topic for discussion, I think this is something that makes everyone reflect because we all have been wronged at some point in our lives. Thank you so much, Dr. Grande!❤

[@privateprivate8366]

My mother was vindictive, just for me being born. She died earlier this year, probably hoping to still get at me, after I’d gone no contact, 4 years ago. She’s still getting at me, BTW. After she’d told me that I might have to take abuse from my sister, to maintain the relationship, probably meaning I would be left nothing, in probate, to get my share and to escape that narcissistic sister, who lives up the street, in the other property my mother had. The house I’m being left, is entirely hoarded. While that was likely as a result of my mother’s personal issues, for the most part, I do feel that there was a certain amount of wanting to destroy the house, so that I’d be left in Hell, to try to make something of it, while the other house is in good condition. So, they may try to get at you, after they’re dead. This was also why I was disinterested in ensuring she had a funeral, obit, etc. Saw this coming.

[@sadieharris5767]

I wonder if she ever realized, even for a brief moment, what an utterly pointless waste of time and energy she committed to for 65 years. Meanwhile the one who died probably hadn't thought about the 5th grade incident since the week it happened. I'm very curious what her supposedly perfect retort was though, lol

[@privateprivate8366]

@@sadieharris5767 there are people who will go to their grave, never getting it. They’ll never understand that they robbed themselves of their own life. For them, retribution IS life. Sad and I have been a person that, if you do something wrong to me, yeah, I’ll try to get you back for it. But, it’s mostly so you’re careful not to do it again. Still, it has its limits and the best approach is to get on with your life, away from that person.

[@ElizabethWarrenYeahYeah]

​@@privateprivate8366 you might get the last laugh. As when you're tossing all that hoarded shit out, you might find some incredible valuable items that may have been considered trash in your mother's day. Things like newspapers from as specific day etc. You could sell for a small fortune, so your task of clearing the house is rewarded. Also as you throw out the box after box, imagine you are throwing her out of your life, every last insult, every hurtful event where she took something from you because you worked hard to earn it and she said you didn't deserve it. Every time she humiliated you in front of others to make her feel good. Every box should have some of that poison in it and when you're done you hopefully should be cleansed. Maybe toss in the things your sister did too.. Then paint up that house bright, get it sold and get out of Dodge! Take control of your life and be happy. Learn to say NO.

[@privateprivate8366]

@@ElizabethWarrenYeahYeah that is why, I’m the list of personal items, I’ve needed to submit to the court, I’ve pretty much included everything on the property. It isn’t because I want everything. It’s because I know I’m going to need to scrape every penny together, to close this out.

[@KimberlyLetsGo]

I get my vindictive narcissist way by ignoring friend requests from the classmates that had bullied me both mentally and physically. I think ignoring them speaks louder than any words I could say.

[@carrington2949]

You are not a narcissist. That word is thrown around way too much. You used common sense is all.

[@jamesparlane9289]

getting "closure" was more important than getting therapy here. We all like to cut up old torches but sanity is more important than wanting to stalk a childhood enemy.

[@MsNimitz25]

I’ve found that it helps, when thinking about old hurts and insults, to remind myself that those people can’t hurt me now. I never see them or hear from them, ever. I do, however, wonder if the people that I hurt still think about me.

[@NickyM_0]

@James Parlane And the sad thing is, if you know the covert, vulnerable narcissist types (and maybe it applies to the grandiose types too, I don't know) but they exhibit a strong defence mechanism where they immediately and deliberately make you an enemy in their minds, to deflect from the wrong that they did to you and to have a justification for why they treated you so abhorrently. It's all part of the devaluation process.

[@iLoveLadyDiana]

Vulnerable narcissists are worse than grandiose narcissists

[@Juke582]

Not really! The overt narcs really sling more insults in front of others and act arrogant about it; where the vuln Narc is more subdued and harmless and the covert and their abuse often gets little attention.

[@Catlily5]

Depends.

[@lamentate07]

@@Catlily5 Agree it depends. Some grandiose narcs are malignant and/or physically violent.

[@thesouluniversal]

They are in a way because the abuse is more insidious and hard to pin down, you end up half crazy before you have a clue whats going on! And good luck with getting anyone to believe you or even being able to articulate the abuse.

[@Jenn_80]

I never heard of vulnerable narcissist til just now

[@sixthsenseamelia4695]

I'd like to know what Brittany's original insult was. It must have been the ultimate burn 😂👌

[@BetaBuxDelux]

Mega-burn x2. Hopefully, it wasn’t a “your momma joke”.

[@mrwog82]

It was "the jerk store called, they're running out of you!"

[@BucketHeadianHagg]

She probably called her “fat”

[@BucketHeadianHagg]

@@BetaBuxDelux lol! Your mamas so fat, she brought a spoon to the super bowl 😅

[@Mili-bedili]

Whatever it was, she got some brutal karma!

[@13elad49]

Wow! Reminds me of certain family members. The vindictiveness is a major red flag

[@jengable4888]

Yes !!

[@13elad49]

@@jengable4888 and the best revenge is our success in life.

[@macshaw9426]

same. my aunt. just disgusting

[@MsBizzyGurl]

This is why I tend to diffuse situations or focus on the issues, not personalities. You never know how far someone is willing to go to feel better about themselves.

[@LuciaInman]

This example is so good. I've known a vulnerable narcissist for years now, and she does ruminate on the past a lot, specifically how people wronged her. And now she treats those people with a form of passive-aggressive revenge type behavior. I would love to see more examples about other mental health pathologies. Fascinating. Thank you as always!

[@vialogan]

My Mom was a raging narcissist and everything always came back to how it made HER look, i.e. "How does it make me look that you failed the exam?" or "You couldn't sit still in church today. How does that make me look?" When I got older(and snarkier) I would respond with "I have no idea. It shouldn't affect you at all. I'm the one who did it!" which would totally piss her off. She was a trip.

[@humbull]

I was in a relationship with one of these disordered people for 10 years. I'm lucky to be alive. Yet, I still struggle with the fact that I want to go back to her. It's a cruel match.

[@mrhector638]

trauma bond

[@humbull]

@@mrhector638 Yes, it creeped up on me. I didn't even realize I was in an abusive relationship.

[@evonne315]

This is why I don't want certain people to know where I live. Certain people that know I know what they are.

[@Mr_Banker222]

Let it go, I was born without a hand and I heard every joke/insult in the book. I never held it against people, it's just a reflection of their insecurities that their battling they see a flaw and go after it to make their ego feel better about why they can't fix their problems. Always move forward and really don't take things to heart life will moves on with or without you.

[@infinitejest441]

Words to live by.

[@cherylm5002]

You're amazing👍

[@RyanSheppard-tq4pg]

That doesn't mean it's you're only possible source of trauma or insecurity hahah

[@dizzyfingers7180]

If you had known my mother, who died about two months ago at age 82, you would have an everlasting geyser of narcissism stories. 😂😂😂 A lot of professionals in the medical and psychological fields made a lot of money off of her victims!! Thank you for your help, as always.

[@brendakeller9646]

this must work the same way for siblings...might got even when I was 70, this incident has created no more contact......

[@Southpaw88]

why do narcs live so long😭😭

[@ms.annthropic6341]

65 years… SIXTY FIVE YEARS!! 😳😳🤯

[@lizb4156]

It goes in a flash.

[@Southpaw88]

​@@lizb4156 agreed, the older I get the faster the years go. a day is even worse, each day goes by so fast it's insane

[@stephm5877]

So true. They'll never forgive you for what they did to you. 🤷‍♀️

[@shawnnewell4541]

That is so cold. It really is all about them and their fragile egos.

[@lizb4156]

I like Jane's plan, there's nothing wrong with it.

[@emilybrackett9571]

Imagine how productive and focused Jane could have been on an area in her life where she could give back and do good for humanity and how rewarding that would be if she would've have focused her efforts on something good and something that mattered. What a waste 😕 I'm actually speechless at how long years, decades, that this couldn't be put to rest in her mind. I guess some people are just that selfish and that's sad.

[@southernlady5085]

Yes, indeed. The most meaningful lives are those given in love for the good of others.

[@quickgirl80]

You have no idea how timely this is. Earlier today my husband was trying to pick a fight with me & brought up something that happened 26 years ago. He actually brings this particular incident up often & it involves him being a bully to to my ex. He gets so much pleasure from it & every time he brings it up I see the satisfaction on his face. Today I just sat there & thought, what is so broken inside his head that feels the need to delight in bullying someone 26 years ago & feels the need to use that incident to try & pick a fight with me? Yeah, I’ve had him pegged as a vulnerable narcissist for a little while now. This just adds confirmation to what I experienced today.

[@edwina336]

Fascinating anecdote! Dr. Grande, can you please do a short video on the differences and similarities of vulnerable narcissism vs BPD?

[@davidwartski7213]

This actually helps me a lot. Thanks, Doctor G.

[@rsgabrys----]

----------------------- hi ...if I may interject , please inform exactly how it helps you , I'm happy for you it does , so happy I wanna learn how....thank you sincerely .... rs------- don't get me wrong DrG is outstanding narrator , investigator, delibertor , adjudicator, and of course collaborator of extra dry jokes that ain't from ordinary gin mill .....

[@jackolini]

Sounds similar to The Jerk Store comeback from Seinfield.

[@joan-lisa-smith]

Plot twist, Jane is not only a vulnerable narcissist but has BPD so the insult never actually happened. Brittany complimented her dress and Jane decided there was a hidden tone of sarcasm to it so she was actually implying that she was fat. Brittany went from best friend to lifelong enemy over an imagined slight.

[@thesouluniversal]

Damn, spot on!

[@helenadegroot6504]

You have to give a similar insult back at double strength, straight away so you can see their mouth drop in shock.

[@helpyourcattodrive]

Wow. I’m always learning from Dr. Grande’s channel. This is very interesting to me. Thank you for an excellent video.

[@vlad-igor]

Brittany had passed, Jane gotta get over it. Grudges have time limit, I would get mad & want to get back at someone in a week or so then the feelings dies off, doesn't matter if I got to the person or not. I would've just go, 'yeah2 whatever forget about it, I'm moving on'. The feeling that comes with it just magically melts away. Can't explain how, as I grew older into maturity, the level of tolerance became better. I'd just ignored it more & more, the faster the better.

[@letitbesummer6536]

You do understand he’s trying to teach, to share an example, right? When you say ‘you’ are you speaking to him personally, or ‘you’ in general

[@xXluluchanelXx]

it'd be neat if saying this to the people we're talking about would actually do anything but uh.. ever heard of "preaching to the preacher/choir"?

[@shawnnewell4541]

My sister was severely bullied in grade school. She still hasn't forgiven the ones who bullied her.

[@IWillHumbleMyself]

​@@shawnnewell4541 Your sister's case is different. She's suffering from trauma. My heart breaks so much for those like your sister. I went to school with a guy, he was genius smart, could have gotten a full scholarship ride to probably almost any college he wanted to. He got bullied so bad he quit school. He had zero friends. He felt like his life was over and ruined and there was no hope for him. He committed suicide. That was 30 years ago. I have thought about him often throughout the years, and I just cry. I often think, if he only maybe had one friend, if only I could have been his friend and shown him kindness and compassion, maybe he would be alive today and doing well for himself. Your sister is still in pain. I don't know what it's like to be bullied like that, I can imagine the horror and trauma it produces. But I do understand pain and other forms of trauma, and how hard it is to forgive the offending parties. In my case, I had to ask God to help me. And he helped me. I have forgiven those people. It was the only way I could heal. I hope you are a good brother or sister and that you are there for her and help her through her hard times and give her some resources that might help her to forgive her offenders and heal. Godspeed.

[@shawnnewell4541]

@@IWillHumbleMyself That is so tragic. There are too many people I've met over the years who have never really recovered from being bullied. My sister's bullying also resulted in an eating disorder called anorexia nervosa. I also got bullied for weight. For me, it left me very insecure about my body and looks until I was in my forties. As for relationships? I have huge trust issues. It's the main reason I didn't marry.

[@victoriousjoy9338]

Omg! This is why I must hide from my narcissistic ex forever!

[@malabuha]

Imagine what would happen if Jane had a deadline to deliver her "great insult" 🤭 I bet you, she would chicken out

[@xtinamarie_333]

Nah, she's been waiting her entire life for that moment 😃

[@malabuha]

@@xtinamarie_333 definitely 😂

[@Catlily5]

Except the other woman probably wouldn't even remember the incident.

[@theresathompson4719]

They are very dangerous people as the need for revenge and grudge holding never stops. Best to avoid them

[@Cookie-kk9dc]

This is absolutely my dad. He often tells me the mean things he would like to do to his enemies. Nothing like physically hurting them more childish teenage type revenge. It's so heartbreaking and makes me feel sick when he does this. WOW eye opener 😳

[@sonnyca]

My brother has been ripping my life apart with my father’s support. I’m my father’s scapegoat and have had a very unfulfilling life because of him.

[@IWillHumbleMyself]

I too was the family scapegoat. 15 years ago I finally broke ties for good. I felt it was the only thing I could do. I have no regrets, except I only wish life was different. But I just had to learn to accept things as they were and and break ties and finally heal and move on with my life as best as I can. I feel your pain. I know the struggles and how hard and damaging it is. There is lots of help and resources out there for family scapegoats like us. I do hope you get ahold of that. It will change your life if you want it to. I wish you all the best.

[@sonnyca]

@@IWillHumbleMyself As I read your name, I just realized I was never allowed to be an individual. One can only have a shadow if they had a meaningful existence at some point. Thanks for your kind words 🙏

[@IWillHumbleMyself]

@@sonnyca That's only one way looking at it though. There's the other way -- the positive perspective. I'm not what I used to be. I'm not the person they made me out to be. I'm not what they told me I was. Not what I once was. I'm my own person now. Today I'm the person who God made me to be. And he accepts me as I am, and he loves me for who I am, no matter what. Flaws, failures, shortcomings and all. They tear us down, he builds us up. There are still remnants of what I once was, there always will be. But I'm so much better now, than the way that I once was. I hope you see it 😊 I wish you well, friend. Godspeed 🌹😊

[@jackiegrice714]

Good morning everyone-it’s time for coffee and Dr Grande :) That revenge story is amazing. That’s an awful lot of work to keep that revenge fire burning so long for such a little insult. Nobody ever said narcissists were slackers. Thank you for sharing this story Dr Grande.

[@sadieharris5767]

75 years old and still hung up on 5th grade. Incredible.

[@agbobier2657]

What a waste of energy. That ate her up her whole life.

[@MG-ot2yr]

I had a friend, well now ex-friend, but he described his need to always win to me once, adding that he always had to be the best, have the best, etc. Probably one of the most disturbing conversations I've ever had with a friend, one of the few times he was very honest. So yes its vindictiveness but its fueled by an underlying need to always win.

[@kellyanni5092]

That scares the hell out of me.

[@ArtByHazel]

This is sad and dangerous at the same time. Imagine, you’re upset that you’re not able to inflict revenge to someone who may have hurt you in the past? Human behaviour is so complex and can be harmful when that someone is not willing to look within and heal from their own pain and suffering. It’s easy to project that using social media. Thank you Dr. Grande for educating us and bring in more ways on how we can start healing individually and collectively. Inner healing work is not for the faint of heart. Yet. It’s worth it. ❤❤❤❤❤

[@Bette_Fontenot]

"Oh yeah? The jerk store called - they're running out of you!" -George Costanza

[@DiamondHedgehog]

Keeping a grudge for about 65 years did her no good.

[@beardpandaa]

Idk if holding a grudge necessarily makes you someone with NPD, though I know people with NPD obviously would demonstrate vindictiveness. I think many people without a personality disorder would feel the same way. Bullying can leave impactful trauma on a person and having those feelings are normal. It's up to us to acknowledge whether or not those feelings/grudges are productive, empathetic, or fair. If Jane justifies those feelings of vindictiveness, for instance, and comments under a memorial Facebook post for Britney saying, "Good riddance, she bullied me in grade school," that could indicate an abnormal problem in her personality/psychology. If she is just having a lack of empathy privately towards someone who bullied her in grade school, then that's not that abnormal in my opinion.

[@coolwater55]

Its grade school for goodness sake. The individual should grow and not let such things drag and burden them for years. They should accept that they were wronged and then turn their lives to be better people. It only hurt "Jane" for decades, when the other person had a normal life. Who got hurt?

[@Sally-sells-seshells]

Omg. This happened to me. After 50 years a former high school classmate mentioned an incident that happened between us when we were teens. I had no idea what the heck she was talking about. I told her that after holding this in for 50 years was something she had to get over and that she ruined her life ruminating over a trivial incident. I also mentioned that over the years she has most likely embellished the details in her mind and even may have confused me with someone else. I told her to select better memories to for the rest of her life and enjoy them.

[@DKnight4u]

By invalidating their feelings you basically just gaslighted them... Perhaps if you were sorry for what you may have done at whatever level it was, you could have just apologized and perhaps that could have made it right.

[@jammetmalibu]

They don't understand forgiveness.

[@debrapahl7573]

I was married to a narcissist....he kept grudges for 50 years so that he could get even!

[@mrooz9065]

Hits close to home.

[@Sketch1994]

I don't have any official mental health diagnosis but as a sufferer of iatrogenic intractable pain and progressing neurological symptoms that include gait problems and limb paresis which render me unable to stick to any work schedule, and having just started the hard and lengthy process of pursuing legal action (I had a cervical spine herniation caused by neglect while a conscript and was extorted to undergo a spinal fusion surgery at the age of 26yo), I might have to shit on some graves if anyone dies before any form of "justice" is served...

[@BlutoBlutarsky]

Sometimes I contemplate all the work I need to do on myself. Then I watch a Dr. Grande video and I'm comforted when I realize how far in the journey I've come up to this point.

[@Dem765]

This is literally the mindset of every person in my life

[@aratneerg3699]

Such hatred... one lives in their own hell.

[@MeMe-zq7qd]

This reminds me a lot of my mom who was a vulnerable narcissist. She would hold grudges and ruminate over the most petty things (often these slights weren’t even real to begin with, they were just a result of her inability to handle constructive criticism and her skewed perception of things) and because of that you had to walk on eggshells around to her to prevent her from taking something personally and you never knew when or how she was going to strike. She spent her life being absolutely miserable because she would keep score and hold onto things that she perceived as slights for her entire life. Even though she was a nasty self-absorbed and abusive woman I can’t help but feel sort of sorry for her for wasting her life being miserable over slights that often didn’t exist in the first place.

[@xtinamarie_333]

Oh course it's BRITTANY bullying JANE and not the other way around ✌️

[@catsoutofthebag24]

That is a perfectly simple example of such a deeply complicated volubility! Do it AGAIN! Please!

[@leahr9038]

The ruminating they do is sick and psychotic. If you don't agree 100% with their view on the situation, they turn and attack you

[@Rclsllh]

Holding onto grudge for 70 years? 😮 normal people forgot what they ate last week and these psycho narcissists are buried with hate and grudge but wear a charming smile 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@DKnight4u]

So, do you hold a grudge against narcissistic people? If so, you have become what you despise

[@thecuriouscabinet3350]

What someone says about you says alot more about who THEY are rather than who you are.

[@thelocalmaladroit8873]

Another interesting topic! Thanks, Dr Grande. Several years ago, a coworker of mine really hurt me. Not because of myself, but she did it when she knew my mother was sick and dying. I couldn’t forgive her for that. Then recently, I heard some really bad news regarding two of her family members.. They say “what goes around comes around !”

[@thesouluniversal]

Yeah, this is why I have no interest in revenge, the Karma is real.

[@danielleeclingansr6032]

Vengeance belongs to the Lord!

[@user-lf9og2sr6n]

My ex husband was the perfect person in front of everyone, rarely did his mask slip off, but he is the most evil person I’ve ever met in my life, I was blessed to escape with my life, albeit, he stripped me of everything I owned, my confidence, my self-esteem, all my assets, my business and also harmed my relationships with my loved ones - but he did not get my soul, he actually admitted that I was in his words, “inherently good “, his intention was to steal my soul, to make me stoop to his level as a mean, hateful, vindictive person but that’s just not who I am. I am imperfect but I am a lover, not a hater.❤❤❤Thank you!

[@RAWNERVZ]

I knew what you were going to say not because she had an accident but because she never got to say that insult to her before she died

[@BetaBuxDelux]

I don’t know why (maybe I do), but I support Jane! Don’t give up Jane! Get a ouija board!

[@sueme1954]

Thank-you for a good belly laugh!!! ( I hope you were not reallyreally serious just empathic❤).

[@BetaBuxDelux]

@@sueme1954 Thank you. I just try to find humor in this stuff. :)

[@susanjohnson3754]

Thank you. This is a very good example. What a sad waste of mental energy and time

[@deborah2063]

I had a sister-in-law just like this. She could and would wait years to "pay someone back." She would carefully plan her revenge and then execute it. Needless to say, she turned everyone against her, children & family. She ended up living & dying a very lonely life.

[@honeybadger3408]

Revenge is always a waste of time. No one can replace the justice that God delivers.

[@live4life767]

God said that He will avenge me against those whom have hurt me & Jesus said for me to forgive those who have hurt me. He never said “forget”. A narcissist person only seeks destruction of others instead of blessing others because they choose to not love. Even after a narcissist gets what they want, that is, to inflict pain on another person, they are happy for about 60seconds then go back to their natural miserable selves. I feel sorry for narcissists but I do not excuse their selfish destructive behavior against another human being.

[@zardoz7900]

I just learned I'm a vulnerable narcissist

[@crystalstareternal]

Hasn’t anyone ever wanted to put laxatives in the school bully’s drink though??? Anyone…?

[@ddeegz9766]

Jane is absolutely based

[@NewAccountWhoDis]

The narcissist in my life is stuck back in grade school events too. She went as far to contact someone from my childhood

[@wildfireintexas]

Jane should have just… “let it go.”

[@chastityb8485]

I like this example. Thank you Dr. G for posting this.

[@erinpascarella7223]

Jane. LET IT GO. LET. IT. GO.

[@katiix]

Another is my mean witch neighbor that moved into my condominium complex last year. Her dog bit me last summer, she looked, laughed and didn't apologize. She doesn't know much English because she's brazilian so I asked my neighbor across the hall to translate so that we can fix things which I shouldn't have had to do because I didn't do anything to her. We knocked on her door she opened, looked at us and slammed the door in our face and I was like oh boy here we go a nutcase moved in! From there on it's been hell, she's been creating lies about me and everytime she has a visitor I can hear her talking to them about me. One thing I didn't want her to know is I learned Portuguese years ago I just don't want her to know about it so that I can hear what she is saying about me. One day I was at my window watering my plants and she pointed up at my window talking about me to some guy. She was like you see that American up there and then I couldn't hear the rest because they were walking away. I was like why does she need to talk about me to all her visitors when I didn't do anything to her. Then my neighbor came up to me saying she said I lied about her dog biting me and he was like she tried to open her door to make him pet her dog and he was like it friggin tried to attack me and she started laughing. I was like see! And I don't have to lie because two witnesses saw her dog bite me and I have their numbers, they told me to call them if I need to. I've lived here for 10yrs and no issue with anyone here until she moved in. She's an old lonely miserable woman. I call her a witch because she looks like one and it creeps me out. I love that I learned Portuguese though because although I have no issues with other neighbors I've learned how racist they are towards Americans, I hear them talking about Americans all the time. It truly disgusts me because I thought they were good people.

[@col2959]

On the flip side, I wonder how many of wools the narcissist hurt worth of revenge

[@makinspirations]

Mercy on us.

[@HeatherHolt]

The Jerk Store called and they’re running out of YOU! is immediately what I thought of with this story (George’s ultimate comeback, Seinfeld)

[@queenbodicea]

Says alot about 'Jane'.

[@JenMaxon]

Sounds exhausting

[@NickyM_0]

Wow.... That is scary and crazy!!!

[@Juke582]

Bad thing about this is that she kept this vengeance in her thoughts her entire life and ruminating on hate sure can change a person. Cause Great Depression and further negative thoughts. That’s tragic!

[@littlewarrior4527]

This is an example of how powerful vendictivness can be for the venerable narcissist Oooooohhhhh meet my family ... they really are that spiteful

[@janberger4057]

Unfortunately, I have known multiple family members and one ex-friend who have exacted vindictive revenge on me and others. It took years for me to understand it and learn to avoid those people.

[@Lifembracer]

Yes! Vindictiveness is deliberately done to feed h fragile ego that must die as a winning will make him King and his dinasty.

[@Lifembracer]

"dynasty" (Edit wouldn't Coorpernate) Lol!

[@danielle4976]

I just had the revelation that my mother is a vulnerable narcissist. she's so vindictive that she feels slighted even by the stupid celebrity gossip columns/magazines! she was ranting about jennifer lopez for some reason? I'm honestly wondering if the vulnerable narcissist's vindictiveness can go so far as to even be psychotic...

[@FF-vz7wg]

Reminds me of Tara Banks bringing Naomi Campbell on her show years to insult her back!

[@Dontshootthemessenger.]

This sounds like that Seienfield episode George says, Hey, George, the ocean called. They're running out of shrimp."

[@patriciagiles5833]

After thinking about it for *65* years! 😢

[@lindabrennan4455]

This is mental!!!!

[@MXRiderFiftyTwo]

I had an argument with a neighbour. He threw dog shit on my car,so i called him a fat old man. He found my new address 10 miles away and threw dog shit on car and on side of house. I moved 20.miles away and he found me once again( followed me home from my work) and throws shit on my car again. Id say serious mental health issues. And this has been going on for the last 3yrs. Dog shit on my car last night

[@charliechurch5004]

😳....damn that's terrifying

[@zenawarrior7442]

Wow that's holding on to some bitterness & hard feelings. Their egos play such a role in their life, sad. Thanks Dr G😊🧡🧡

[@estaragarcia7114]

Wow! That’s a good example

[@vialogan]

Wow, yeah, that's definitely vindictive! The things we carry can sometimes folow us even into death.

[@BucketHeadianHagg]

What are you doing working this late at night, Dr Grande? You should have sugarplums dancing above your head by now! 😊 Happy Holidays, sir

[@Propfaqs]

I thought you were going to tell us ‘…so she delivered the revenge/insult to the dead target’s children.’

[@MelisJoy]

I admit, I unfollowed briefly bc of ducking of social media & deep depression. I've always LOVED your content but kinda got burnt on all the celeb cases. I feel like I found a gold mine seeing all these shorts!! Whenever I see your material, I get inspired to finish my bachelor's in psych & be a counselor as planned. Time to grab some popcorn & indulge 🍿❤️

[@analeticiagallardo2314]

For some reason I started thinking of the rabbi episode on sienfield "a person let's call her 'Elaine' felt that her friend... let's call him 'George' was incredibly immature and stupid" 🤣

[@kjb9837]

This reminds me of the sociopath test "While at the funeral of her own mother, she met a guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was amazing, so much her dream guy she believed him to be, that she fell in love with him then and there. A few days later, the girl killed her own sister.What is her motive in killing her sister?"

[@aalluunaa]

this is crazy she held onto that FOREVER