Exposing the Gay Community

[@johnconroy3078]

Originally came to the channel for the Porsche content. Stayed for the person.

[@akomakingsley8681]

Bro same here. Came here for the car content and ethaNs personality is just Awesome

[@pappapappa2808]

@@akomakingsley8681 exactly

[@vitortavares5759]

Same here!

[@mranderson8051]

Same here

[@thebaldog1209]

Me too...

[@aiahzohar5636]

I joined a LGBTQ+ straight student alliance in college because one of my brothers is gay. I was shocked to hear some of the gay kids say they didn't "like" Asians or blacks. I felt just like you. How can you experience bigotry but then dump it on others? Even worse, the gay community makes excuses to normalize this. The same with ageism. It taught me a lot about human moral hypocricy. Hope you found someone--but I see you have a cat companion! xoxo

[@raymarsh5455]

Freedom of association means freedom of association. Do not tell me who I should find attractive. That is ethnic Leftist fascism. People do not come out to be told who they will be sexually and emotionally attracted to.

[@FriendofDorothy]

I despise hypocritical gay men who say they don't "like" blacks , Asians, lesbians, trans etc. These same men are quite often also body-shamers. Who they really have trouble accepting and liking is themselves. They are in fact representative of an old cliché straight out of The Boys in the Band era: : the self-loathing gay man. They simply MUST have some group to feel superior to in order to feel good about themselves.

[@zeb358]

As a straight guy, that was very revealing to hear and I only have a deep heartfelt sympathy for your experience. I sincerely hope you can find a truly meaningful relationship one day. But it shocks me to hear how very small the odds are for someone quite normal like you! All the best to you and your future.

[@toyoscio]

Why? Gay community is not all what it seems. What you see many times is a facade.

[@FriendofDorothy]

I find your use of the word "normal" odd. He is a type of gay man that is actually quite common, the straight-appearing, nester type rather than thrill-seeker who is disinterested in traditional, stereotypical gay male "scene" gathering places and activities (bars, drinking, discos, hook-up sex, etc.)

[@vinimaguire8109]

I could listen to your talks all day long. I'm a white straight anglo saxon christian male. I'm a father of four and could't be living a more polar opposite life style to you Nathan. But, I subscribed early on to your channel and watched it grow. Your honesty and empathy for everyone comes across naturally from your videos. My brother law is gay and married to a African American man. Both of them remind me very much to you, they live similar lifestyles and like you embrace their sexuality as a natural part of their being not a political stigma that has to demonstrated against 24/7. Please keep the videos coming you certainly bring a refreshing and entertaining aspect of life that I find great to watch and be part of .

[@FriendofDorothy]

If there had been no "political stigma that has to be demonstrated against" your brother in law and his partner would not have been able to get legally married nor enjoy the relative personal safety and equal housing/employment rights, etc. they currently enjoy. You might consider reading a book about the history of gay people; it will be a jaw-dropping experience for you. Please remember that real people called "activists" put their time and their lives on the line to get us where we are now.

[@MP_pov]

Ethan, this was possibly one of your best videos. All the cars and lifestyle is good fun but this is real life. I can’t say I am an expert on the gay community, but every community and every club have their own rules, customs and cultural cues. Generally if you are in, or you want to be in, you need to follow them, and those who don’t immediately feel like outcasts. My advice is don’t try to fit in. Either you’re a natural fit or you’re not and you will never be. I’ve met and worked with many gay men in the past and what you are describing is spot on. I found it very odd and cringe as the other commenter here wrote. Be yourself and don’t change for others. Time will come for you to come across someone who is compatible. Plus, finding relationships is very difficult nowadays, even skipping the sexuality part. A lot of narcissistic, ridiculously demanding, dishonest and generally very odd people out there, and the older you get the more you see it. I suspect the hookup apps culture has played a big part in this too.

[@EthanFromLondon]

Thank you for your well thought through comment. You have hit the nail on the head.

[@DeBoerVan]

Very true comment.

[@dannykl6883]

Ethan I have been following your channel for awhile ... never gave a second thought about your sexuality you go with what feels natural my friend

[@robertcangelose8042]

I hope beyond anything that you don't suffer any negative verbal attack. As a gay man in the US, I relate. You have spoken truth. My biggest challenge is that Im also conservative which doesnt go over too well with the liberal leftist agenda. Ive lost friends over this. I find myself having to suffer in silence. Thank you for speaking your truth. You are definitely not alone.

[@FriendofDorothy]

Are you right or far right? Many gay men are moderately conservative but they use common sense when voting. However, in general the "right" is full of people who would like to rescind the rights our activists have fought for They are currently anticipating putting gay marriage on the chopping block along with abortion. The legal rights you enjoy today were fought for with blood, tears, and great self-sacrifice by activists in past decades. Have you never read a book about your own history as a gay man?? Are you sure you are not rather like a chicken in support of KFC?

[@Adi-bx4jg]

You remind me SO much of my old gay “business partner” who was just like you, in every way. I commend for doing this video. Although I was complete opposite of him and the lifestyle, it took me a while to find out he was actually gay. It didn’t hinder our goal of starting, owning and operating a medical clinic which was realized. I finally met his gay partner, had dinners at his house along my fiancée, we took our staff on a cruise to Mexico, it was great and I considered him a good friend. You are spot on, in regards to the gay community, they preach love and acceptance but it’s not how they are in return. I wouldn’t say all of them, but most of them. The older gay population are very different than the younger gays which is unfortunate. Nine years forward I sold my share of the business to him, got married which produced two kids of which one is named Ethan and now live all the way across the country to California to take of my elderly parents. Anyway, I’ve watched some of your videos, it started with your video about the Ferrari, and dealer and others telling you to accept these little mechanical problems because it is a Ferrari and any negative comments about it, it may devalue the car, but you expect more from an expensive car. The video was pretty funny.

[@leroyybrown]

Ethan you have an attractive quality that I picked up on when I happened upon one of your videos concerning Ferrari reliability. You’re a unique individual in the herd of humanity. You stand apart, separate from the herd. Let’s be thankful for that.

[@dam00r]

I'm not new to your channel but very recently started to comment your videos. I live in Stockholm, and this video has given me great insight to the gay community as a straight man (I know that i'm 100% straight, not attracted to men). Your points have cleared things up for me with the reactions I've received from gay people in the clubs when I've ignored them or something. They then become aggressive and hateful towards you and start to spread rumours around and to their female straight friends.. Such annoying drama behaviour....

[@EthanFromLondon]

Well according to most stereotypical gay men. If you are gay friendly then you might be gay if you are not friendly then you are homophobic 😂 you can’t win

[@xxkissmeketutxx]

A few years ago I came across research that demonstrated above-average rates of domestic abuse in same sex relationships. Hugely inflated rates! Which I found odd considering the aggression and violence purportedly endured by many lgbt. I once had my safety threatened by lesbians I wasn't interested in. I've also listened to several stories of lgbt being shamed/aggression for not being attracted to someone who happens to identify as trans. Eg. Trans women being declined by lesbians. Trans woman then tries to shame lesbian's choice.... it's quite unsettling. Personally, I think the rise in entitlement due to coddling is to blame and is amply demonstrated by "incels".

[@Jez1963UK]

Interesting that you're emphasising that you're 100% straight? Almost as though you're trying to convince yourself!

[@MFYouTube683]

@@Jez1963UKinteresting how you process the information given in this video selectively to post a comment that has one purpose: to kick up a stink for no reason. Congratulations. You’re part of the problem and didn’t contribute to any potentially valuable exchange.

[@FriendofDorothy]

@@EthanFromLondon I have never assumed that straight people who are gay-friendly are gay themselves. My best friend was straight. However, I do assume that men who carry bull-horns while shaming and preaching at gay people and men who expend great energy in criticizing gay men have probably got some surprising apps on their phones.

[@denvernaicker8250]

Your logic is sound. I have had similar thoughts regarding the community. I do censor myself to avoid confusing the other person to my detriment. I am happy that you created this video because it also voiced all my concerns as well. I came across your channel by watching the coronavirus video and then the porsche video and now this one. I think you are a stellar person and I admire you.

[@raymarsh5455]

Why should a White person find you attractive? Do you find old men attractive, and do you sleep with them? Do you sleep with men who are ugly? If not then you are probably Lookist. If not then you are obviously age-ist. As a White person I find it very provocative that you think that White males should find you attractive by rule. You may have some sense of post-colonial entitlement, but expecting White men to befriend you or find you attractive is fascism.

[@nikolamatijevic8722]

In the end, it comes all about if you are a good person or not so good person.

[@VectorOfKnowledge]

Respect and will wishes to you, my friend. We're all human and no one should be marginalized or discriminated against, or expected to join a club to affirm their humanity. Humans are often incredibly and disgustingly cliquish. I wish we could all relate to each other as individuals with dignity and intelligence, but often that's unfortunately too much to ask of our embarrassing species.

[@pepitoperez7849]

Im an average normal gay guy too and I completely agree with you. Don’t feel part of the gay community either after I tried when I was young. Trapped between 2 worlds like an earlier commenter wrote is perfect to describe it. I wish you lived in my city so we could be friends.

[@azface]

Ethan, this was v heartfelt. Thanks for opening up about your feelings. Like one of the other posters, I came here for the Porsche content but drawn into your v likeable personality. You are a top chap! Keep doing what you’re doing.

[@billgreen8966]

Ethan, I realise that this is vid is 2 years old now but I thought it was brilliant: thoughtful, courageous and helpful to many I am sure. As a young straight man years ago I was approached in the pool changing room of a large Sydney hotel by an attractive gay South African airways cabin crew. His approach was polite and thoughtful but obviously of no interest to me so I explained politely and wished him well. Some of my straight male friends were appalled at this encounter (this was the dark ages after all) but I was not. My overwhelming emotion was sadness as I realised how difficult it must have been back then for gay men to build meaningful romantic relationships. Before your video I had assumed that we had moved on so far these days that being gay was now of no importance at all. So much so that I wonder why we still have Gay Pride parades, aren't gay people just members of our community just like the rest of us. Perhaps the gay community hasn't moved on as far as the straight community. As a side note your video has reaffirmed my experience that minorities of any description can be the most discriminatory people around. Anyway, thanks for the video, most thoughtful. I wish you well.

[@xicofaria]

Recently following your videos for the cars. Unusual to see one's opinion on such private matters unrelated to the "cars" theme, but quite refreshing and sincere. Congratulations for your honest pov, and wish you all the best.

[@misst.e.a.187]

I'll tell you something, Ethan, it's tough on both sides of the fence, especially when you simply can't settle for just anything or any nonsense. Just be yourself and open your heart to a plethora of souls who share your mindset and interests. The rest will have to take care of itself.

[@philscarriage73]

Only found your videos today and think your a lovely honest man with lots of good qualities.

[@TANEM315]

As a middle aged queer man with a mix of conservative and some liberal values, I completely empathize with you. I think how decent a person is to others depends mostly on his or her temperament and experience (which can be accumulated rapidly by young people who are driven) and much less on which social club that one is a part of.

[@FriendofDorothy]

Please research the history of the word "queer" as it was used against gay men in the past. It is loaded with violence, spirit-crushing hate, shame, and the blood of gay boys and men from past decades. It is a dreadfully poor word choice for any self-respecting community and does not help us in any way whatsoever but to make us sound like freaks.

[@ironcap2050]

Very well put. I believe there are groups that are in a competition against people that are not committed to their mindset. The more inclusive, the more questionable. You made the correct call.

[@bytesizenetworking4788]

great video Ethan..... enjoying binge watching Ur vids..... happy that u are bold enough to speak out...... good man.

[@simonbussey7530]

You can be in my club any day! I originally found your channel while searching for a new Porsche, stayed for the great interesting content. Keep it up and take care 👍

[@EthanFromLondon]

Cool, thanks!

[@variszarins]

Crazy how about an hour ago I watched your review of B&O EX, here I am, an hour later, still on your channel watching this video. Subscribed to your channel, it's one of those hidden gems. Out of curiosity, do you enjoy cigars? You don't need to be in a club to be who you really are, furthermore, it looks like you're doing a lot better than 99% percent of the people in those clubs, well at least how I imagine them.

[@EthanFromLondon]

Welcome aboard! Yes, I smoke cigars from time to time

[@AndrewKNI]

As Groucho Marx said "I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member". There are many who do not fit in with certain stereo-types or expectations, while life can be a challenge and it's unpredictable. But tomorrow is a new day :-)

[@FriendofDorothy]

Such "clubs" are mere business enterprises meant to appeal to men who find online dating/hook-up apps frustrating and disappointing or men who hate bars. Bathhouses are mostly kept afloat currently by DL men, men catting behind their partners' backs, or men who still live with their families so need a place to have sex. These places are a thing of the past but there is always a "new club" and they are all the "same club" in actuality.

[@Peteski-0]

How interesting and enlightening but very sad also Ethan. Thank you so much for sharing this 😊

[@b-dogs1038]

fascinating insight. Your articulation on the subject is so clear that I can just imagine the loneliness, fear & at times hopeless feelings. What does Harrison Ford say in Star Wars ‘never tell me the odds’. Good luck my Man, we’re all here only for a short while.

[@lazyserver]

Followed because you are a damn good orator with a quality presentation on every subject matter.

[@Fifty8day]

That is sad, I hope you meet someone soon . I am a straight man and I have many gay friends I’m going talk to them about what you’ve said and see what they say. The bike looks pretty cool BTW

[@subayalkhan5879]

You are great person. Sad to hear that the gaps community has sidelined you. You have earned your success and you should be proud of it 👍

[@echospaw899]

The gay world is harsh. We're cruel to one another, and most often base everything on someone's looks and of course, how much money they make. Shallowness at it's core. The thing with younger gay men being cruel towards aging gay men is absolutely spot on. I wasn't this way toward older men when I was younger, not at all, so it's very confusing to me. But, now that I am in my 50s, it's bad enough to be growing less attractive to the younger set, but they make a point of putting rude walls up within our own communities and isolating the older community as if they're diseased or something. Talk about short-sightedness... they fail to recognize that their turn is coming up fast behind. And this, too, will continue on until we unite and start supporting one another.

[@skytower1]

Well said, so nice to hear somebody speaking the truth. Wishing you all the best.

[@ruwioman9786]

You are brave enough to tell all this.

[@DavidtanBBO19]

Two years later, still facts and still sad. I’m so sorry to hear. I hope things have changed for you for the better :-)

[@testopatia106]

That was a sad story Ethan... I have had my suspicions about clubs pubs and the like for years.....and in so doing i refused to enter into any of them this last thirty odd years. I wish you well and lots of happiness for the future.

[@9fiveb180]

Did you have to send in photographs as part of the application process or something? I wonder if it was purely a country of birth or citizenship requirement and not a lineage or cultural heredity type issue, that he just handled poorly? Either way it's always hurtful to be excluded or denied acceptance into something or by someone. I think we are quite similar in many ways. From our design aesthetic, and interests in technology, to our different approach to the gay community. I've found it troubling how apps have had a profound psychological impact on the overall mental health of the people who use them, and their ability to make good choices and how they are able to deal with issues and problems when they arise. They all seem terribly predatory and anti-social. Which is ironic considering they are supposed to be "Social apps."

[@chrishenniker5944]

I’m of the view that gay and straight men share a common masculinity, which can include cars, leather, football and anything like that. You’re proof of that, you related to masculine archetypes, you’re a car guy, so are many gay and straight people. I’m straight (though someone once said I was camp), love hot rods and customs, love rock’n’roll, but I share a common masculinity with gay and straight men.

[@panoshountis1516]

Wow.. such a strong message on this video. Be assured that discriminations and racism is not limited to the gay community. Whoever's life choices or opinions are considered not following the norm of their "categorization" are deemed outcasts and as such are ostracized.

[@babyucon]

We already know that racism and discrimination isn't limited to the gay community but the point was the fact that gay people are discriminated and ostracized, they should know better then to do it to each other.

[@lordship1543]

​@@babyuconThe entire appeal of white supremacy is that if you're a loser from a dirt road town with no prospects for improving your situation. Then you can cope and reassure yourself that you aren't actually that much of a loser, because at least you're part of the white race. Once the tribalism kicks in you're a lot less likely to care that the recently freed black men and woman have more in common with you, than you have with a wealthy plantation owner. The entire point is to pit the powerless against one another, because while they might be powerless when divided together they can move mountains.

[@monacoathlete2755]

Ethan I really enjoy listening to you talk. You are very intelligent, articulate, clever, kind, and have a pleasant demeanor. Greetings from Paris ✌

[@UDPride]

I think it comes down to the unavoidable split down the middle in how people view themselves. About half the world wants to view themselves as part of a collective, and then there's the other half that identifies as an individual. The issue is almost all minorities tend to lean toward collective identification because they find strength and security in numbers, however it also homogenizes everyone within that group and strips people of the unique qualities that make someone one of a kind. In your case, Im guessing you see yourself as that "minority in the minority" where you prefer to identify as an individual in the collective world that umbrellas the gay community. Most of these groups use the collective identity as their singular, overriding, and defining characteristic. When you are extremely short, Jewish, black, Aborigines, or gay, the others like you want to force that label upon you as the end-all/be-all of your identity -- socially, politically, economically. It's a real challenge to be a minority in a minority and take the opinion, "I may be short, Jewish, black, Aborigines, gay, or all of the above, but they do not define who I am. I'm way too complex and deep to be summarized by a group stereotype." While I'm not gay, I run into this same "minority in a minority" paradox because I'm a left-handed, straight, drug-free, conservative, anti-abortion, anti-death penalty, live-and-let-live atheist. There is no box for me either. The gays dont like me because Im straight, the progressives hate me because I'm fiscally conservative, the religious conservatives hate me because Im anti death penalty and anti-religion, the druggies discount me for being square, and the right-handers think I have a birth defect!

[@EthanFromLondon]

very well said

[@angela1984a]

You must be joking about that left-handed part.

[@UDPride]

@@angela1984a As serious as a heart attack. Being left-handed is one of the most non-inclusive minority groups in the entire country. Go try flying a plane with a stick left handed, buying a left handed rifle or musical instrument, buying a left handed gun, finding a left-handed school desk for your 5-hour SAT, try finding a left-handed laptop where the numerical keypad is on the left, try finding a left-handed chainsaw or table saw, see if you can find a left-handed spiral notebook, the list is endless. Shall I list 5,000 more? Being left-handed is like being handicapped but without all the ADA help. We're told to just deal with it.

[@SeanyAHardy]

I love “a straight man stuck in a gay man’s body”… it did make me chuckle and a great video also. I absolutely agree with all the points you’ve raised here. I was out in Soho yesterday and much of what you said here was obvious from what I’ve observed and experienced too.

[@1984musicman]

You're not alone mate. It's a heartbreaking experience.

[@herambaanjaneya2177]

Hi Ethan this the first video of yours that I have chanced upon but without a shadow of a doubt you have highlighted a very real problem within the so-called gay community. Unless you are interested in the pop/rock scene and or fashion then the gay bar and clubbing scene isn't for you. Coupled with grossly unfriendly and unloving crowd that populate these places who only want to spend time with those that are into all of that. It's a very, very narrow little world. The apps MAY help because you don't know to both with that and can vet people more easily without needing to waste time and money on a bar and clubbing scene that you don't really resonate with. There's no reason on God's green earth why all gay people should resonate with the gay "scene". Strangely enough the most significant person I have ever met was via the gay dating apps - against all the odds as it were. The gay scene isn't much of a place to spend time if you're not into alcohol and drugs. Groups formed by mutual interests are usually much more fun.

[@jdekong3945]

Yes, your video is spot on, as someone who would also describe myself as a straight guy that likes guys, I found myself isolated from the gay community, and a lot of straight people expect me to me high camp and a queen because thats what the portrayal of any gay man is on TV. Like you Ethan I`m stuck between two worlds, seemingly unwelcome in both. I have cats & a bottle of vodka to keep me company however, so its not all bad :o)

[@ronznine7870]

Just saw this heart-on-a-sleeve vid. I'm new to your "car" channel--your disappointment in Ferraris was my first. Come to find out it's about all sorts of sht beyond what I originally thot. But this specific vid--I have many gay friends of both sexes, and I knew none of this. Maybe not as close to them as I thot. Except your point about cruel young people--that's got zero to do w being gay. The majority of young people treat older people lousy. Matters not gay or straight. IMO. And the Netherlands. After what that country has been thru, you'd expect more. You're an interesting successful guy. Keep looking. He's out there.

[@LameFlame]

I don't think you are an outcast. i think the society aswell as different communities have a specific image in their mind on how a human being has to look like, talk like and behave etc. And most of the time it's far away from the reality... but i agree with you that it's not ok to be racist! We may be different in some way or another but we still share the same blood color. You are doing a good job. keep on going with your content and leave the rest behind.

[@vidjoe8320]

Ethan... You are Cary Grant in a world of Elmer Fudds. Your appreciation of the more beautiful aspects of life will obviously ostracise you. But no fear... your Randolph Scott will appear one day ... maybe on Jermyn St or Regents Park... you never know. You ought to join a model agency.

[@nadogrl]

😂😂😂

[@RT3319]

Yo!!!! Just happened to stumbled upon this video - so thankful that I did. I'm an older gay man and know of what you speak. Yes, I identify as gay, but I'm not part of the gay community - nor do I want to be. Frankly, I don't have time for the "bitches and queens" that seemingly prevail in so much of the gay world. Though I am alone, there is something I have noticed: Seemingly, as gay men age, many drop the righteous facade as their options in the gay community, and in life, for that matter, diminish - the enemy, Time, brings them back down to earth and reality. Few videos have held my rapt attention such as this one, but you spoke of so much of what I feel and believe in - and who I am. Thank you so very much!!! Oh, absolutely love the bicycle - a beautiful classic - simply gorgeous!

[@psurrett1]

Ethan I really appreciate you sharing your story, you have mastered some really complicated subjects, such as becoming a surgeon, and now a consultant. I would say that puts you in the 5 % of people who can achieve these goals, I guess that is what I wanted to say, maybe you should keep that in mind when trying to meet someone, they are probably not as sharp as you.

[@donaldewert2332]

I wish the LGBTQ community would drop the Q (queer)!!! I am a girl trapped in a guy's body, we're all different, donald, "Danielle" I wish you love!!! I just subscribed.

[@EthanFromLondon]

Find good friends, they are the best solution to all the issues society throws at you.

[@JB73691]

The smile at the end " I am winning"

[@SteveDawson]

Loved this content Ethan, bravo for your openess. As a straight happily married man at 63 years young I hope you find the love of your life as I was lucky enough to find mine over 30 years ago. I only wish that you and your fantastic content had been available to me sooner. I'm subscribed to all of your channels and have binge watched since finding you only a few days ago. #peaceandlove

[@EthanFromLondon]

Thank you for your support Steve

[@AA-fw6kb]

Hey Ethan, great post. I can't imagine what it feels like to be in your shoes. You seem like a lovely chap. A person I'd love to be friends with. I wish you all the best with your life.

[@kyrol54]

Intolerance of others, from those who constantly claim to be victims of such.

[@denniskillin3090]

Being different is enough to be excluded from the gay community I am disabled and now older so I have two things that exclude me from the gay community what do you need from the gay community, which by the way I don,t believe exists for me community means having friendship and support not merely superficial stuff.

[@MrLetmein2011]

The gay community needs to be called out for all sorts of things , good to see this video .

[@sandyp4123]

Thanks so much for being so open. We liked your point of view and can relate to you as non gay couple. Experiencing a similar discrimination among Christians towards gay people, which I find absolutely disgusting. Why is it, that people tend to need a club / closed closet mentality to feel safe? Please continue with your videos. All the best and many blessings from Bavaria

[@kiwiinexile]

it is times like this that I find it really hard to hit the like button because I simply do NOT. However, there is currently no other way to support, encourage, applaud and love your video. Being older, I am beginning to realise how little I know in this world and I simply cannot understand this sort of bullshit. I have written and rewritten this sentence about ten times now as I simply cannot find the words to express how crazy I find this situation. Humans pat themselves on the back everyday for being so bloody clever but sadly, in many ways we have never really moved that far from cave dwellers. How on earth, in this day and age could such disgusting things like racism, homophobia etc still exist? Why do seemingly educated people still resort to violence at the drop of a hat - we are still bloody neanderthals. We cannot talk about how far we as a species has come when your experience is still so common place. I must be the stupidest bastard alive as I simply don't get it 😪

[@aiahzohar5636]

I think you hit the nail on the head. Despite our technological advances, we're still a deeply emotional, clannist animal. Our emotions/brain aren't evolving nearly as quickly as our tools. :(

[@jasongreen2443]

Bro, you're telling nothing but the truth! As a non stereotypical gay black man myself, I can tell you that most gay men wouldn't accept you if you don't fit the gay stereotype or if don't look like a super model... I got more accepted in the heterosexual community than the toxic gay community....a gay man wouldn't even acknowledge you if you don't look super attractive but I got out the community back in 2012 and haven't spoken to or been around gays.

[@FriendofDorothy]

I am a gay man. None of my friends have a problem with non-stereotypical black gay men nor do I. None of my sex partners is a "super model". May I politely suggest you have been choosing the wrong places to seek people like yourself? By assuming every gay man is racist or looks-ist you are over-arching and alienating yourself from the many great men out there who could love and accept you as you are. There is no such thing as a "toxic community", only toxic individuals within that community. Heterosexuals have their own similar issues were you to tap just below their social veneer.

[@blondspike74]

There’s a ‘gay scene’; that’s not most people I know. My husband and I are ordinary guys…we left the ‘scene’ or that part of the gay community in the clubs in our early 20s. We’re 40+ now. You have some great points that are sadly true.

[@isaacalvarez4310]

The gay community is a community that doesn’t support one another and It is sad to see. I say it because I have seen it in person too.

[@tvicic]

I'm "straight" (whatever, I don't really think in these categories ) and I never really understood the impact of the sexual orientation to practically anything else. You're simply a person and, as I see it, too intelligent to be a member of any club (especially the one that will accept you). So this video is a good way for conveying a message. Your "features" (as essentially a NFT, but successful, educated and apparently happy) shall be the only measure for anyone to accept you as you are (or not). So, not your sex, education, social status, religion (if any) and so on, but only you as a person in relation to everybody else is what's important here (deliberately excluding terms like "society" or "culture" or other general labels). I'm happy for you and one person like you shall serve as an example: anybody can be like you, if they truly wish so and do their best to achieve it. That's all there is to it. Everything else is essentially irrelevant.

[@Kicks-SEGA]

Very true what you said in the end.....i had a gay roommate whom i respected alot and started becoming friends with but i realised he just tought i was in some sort of closet and started making advances ...it really shattered our friendship because i made it very clear at first that im not gay but i also don't mind having gay friends....

[@samsabruskongen]

Came for the car content, stayed for the person.

[@derekdowney8793]

You're talking about what I called The Click A Crowd, it's like being in school again and nobody wants to sit with you because well you just don't have the right style the latest clothes the right haircut. And our situations I just find myself some like-minded people and there are a lot of gay like-minded people that are not into the bar crowd cuz that's exactly what you're talkin about here. But we're kind of Lucky now because we're at the age that we don't or should not care and most of us don't we just find our own magic and go on from there. I try not to over think about these things because there are other people that are into the same thing that you and other people are including your straight allies and you can just make as many memories as with like-minded people then with not like-minded people ... I for one love the diversity that I have worked hard to have in my life that being said I do get your point because it's the truth and very valid I experienced the same thing. As a gay man that has been in this community for over 45 years. That being said I do make sure that the people that I do have surrounding me know where I stand and if they think they're better than anyone else they should never be around someone like me there is really no loss for me at that point, I think there is for them because it would have taken a lot to get me to that point and disrespect would be one.

[@ZombieHowTo]

I thought a bug was crawling on my phone.... but it was just your cat. 😜

[@andersjefsenrasmussen3003]

I feel very much like you. I am 62 years old. I looked for love not for sex in my relationships. I did have 3 good relationships but I would have hoped for one long relation. I am gay I am not perfect. I make mistakes and it is allowed to say and not to agree with me in all things. I think Pride is nice to show the public that we are valuable members to society as police, nurses, firefighters ... and so on. But being gay is so over sexual is too much. I am not a sexanimal but, as you I consider my self to be a ordinary man. I just loves a men. Greetings from Danmark.

[@boblossie3192]

Ouch! I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. But I believe you just haven't found your community yet. I'm much older than you, 67, but I didn't even realize I was gay until I was 20. When I was in my teens, I knew the world homosexual - but I didn't realize there were gay men that dated, had relationships and even owned housed together. That was in the early 1970's in the Deep South in America. I dated girls, but I really wasn't into it. They were the ones trying to get me to go "All The Way", but it didn't really interest me. I had no idea why. Remember - there were no articles written about gays, no TV shows, no movies, no "main stream" books, etc. I had a very isolated life in the Suburbs of Atlanta, Georgia. THEN - when I was 20, I took a job in downtown Atlanta that was centered around Live Entertainment. Lots of performers, singers, dancers and the like, and they didn't really try to hide they were gay. I thought "Well isn't this interesting...." I talked with them, but they really didn't bring up my sexuality - but I learned later they were REALLY wondering about mine. Ended up that I went on an out of town trip with a man my age - and not to go into the entire story (although it is a VERY interesting one ! ! !), wended up having sex. It was incredible ! ! ! When we kissed that night in our room - the clouds, parted - the trumpets sounded - the angels sang ! ! ! Remember - I was a virgin in every way - not even sex with girls. But in that moment - it all felt so right - it felt so normal - instantly EVERYTHING of my past FINALY made sense. I ended up dating they guy for months, and he didn't even know he was my first until several months later. So now I'm around all these gay guys, but something still didn't feel right. I didn't like one night stands. I didn't like going out to bars and dance clubs. It was just like the stories you just told. At one point I even considered ending my life. Not because I was gay, but because I wanted to be a nester, settle down and have a home like I grew up seeing that everyone else had. There was just one exception to that picture, I wanted it to be with a man. So when I couldn't find what I yearned for in Atlanta, I moved to Dallas, Texas to see if I could find happiness there. After 2 years, I was just as miserable and not enjoying the lifestyle. Then I came across someone I had met in Atlanta that first month I came out. He too had left Atlanta 5 years earlier. His move was to New York, New York! Again - it's a GREAT story, but I won't get into it here. We were together for 22 years, but it sadly came to an end. I had moved to NYC in 1982, sadly right when AIDS was coming into full blossom. But NYC was FANTASTIC for so very many years ! ! ! The people we did things with were very similar to our own lifestyle. We had gay and straight friends. After the first 5 years in NYC, we moved up to a very rural part of Northwest Connecticut up in the Berkshire Mountains. Small town with a small population, but 60% of the homeowners there were weekenders from Manhattan. We were full time, but enjoyed our best social life on the weekends. In the Summer months - anyone that could afford to leave Manhattan to escape the heat did. Half of the weekenders went to the mountains and the other half went to The Hamptons on Long Island. In Long Island - it was all about Party - Party - Party. Emphasis on "See and be Seen. Restaurants and Clubs. That was for Straights and Gays. In the Berkshires, it was all about Dinner Parties - NO Clubs - just retreat, recharge and rebuild. Even the gas stations closed at 9:00pm. It was conservative, but it was a very impressive collection of personalities. The point is - that was MY crowd, MY community. The Beach crowd and the Mountain crowd were like night and day. We had our gay friends, but also many straight friends. Probably more couples than singles. So after this very long winded tangent of words - my point is that you just need to find your community that is like minded in lifestyle. Now I'm back in Atlanta. LOVE the Northeast, but life is soooooo much easier in the South. It's a really different world now to be Gay in. Sadly - our country is taking many steps backwards when it comes to acceptance. But I believe this is a blip in history, we'll be back on track again soon! But I fear it's going to be a REALLY rough few years to endure. Not just for Gays, for EVERYONE..... So good luck to you my friend! From what I've seen on this video, you appear to be a REALLY nice guy. You just need to find the right person. I VOLUNTEER for a bunch of different organizations working on making Atlanta GREAT. Quite frankly - more like a European City! My interest are Environment, Walkable City, Tiny Homes, preserving Atlanta's Green Canopy, etc. What I LOVE about volunteering is that you meet the people that have your concerns and interest. But more importantly - because it's volunteer - you're more likely to meet people that are "good of heart" because they want to give of themselves with no cash incentive. It's just to make the community and the world a better place for all. I hope you get to see this and the long read didn't scare you away. BUT hearing you tonight made me think about my life back in the late 19670's. I had the exact same worries. Things do change, but this shows some things never change. All best to you.... Bob

[@valsainking]

While I naturally empathize with your plight, some part of me still finds the desire to belong to 'clubs' a bit High School-ish, as in the teen-aged mindset of wanting to be accepted by the 'in crowd.' It's all a bit clique-ish for my taste I guess, unless of course we're talking about a cycling group or some other group geared towards engaging in some form of physical or sporting activity (soccer club, cycling club, etc). I'm not suggesting the former ('search for acceptance') is what motivated you in the first place, but I just want you to know that any such 'club' that would not have you for whatever reason is a clique you are too good for. You deserve better. 😘😘

[@EthanFromLondon]

I just wanted to make friends and some of my Dutch friends told me about it. They are all straight so they are not members of such clubs. Anyway I have memberships to real clubs that are worth being members of so it’s not something I aspire to or feel excited about.

[@valsainking]

@@EthanFromLondon As I said, any gay-oriented 'club' that won't have you for whatever reason is not worth your time anyway, especially if the reason given is based on ethno-nationalistic garbage.

[@focusedfreebird]

You make great points here. I don't like labels or categories put on people. 😊

[@MFYouTube683]

This is a great video and I would like to say one thing only: I would rather be friends with the people in this comment section for the rest of my life than having to endure our «community» and what it has morphed into / cannot overcome. I’m very tired by the «stunning and braaave» political correctness tripe that the established pc conversation has to offer. Thank you for speaking out, I know it won’t be addressed by those that need to and show that many who are addressing it are very supportive, decent people who have our backs while not necessarily waving a rainbow flag to say so. The endless cries for representation everywhere and the failure to create a healthy, supportive gay culture, blaming anyone but ourselves (not you) is getting a bit old. Voices like yours are getting louder and are more public with bigger platforms. It’s a good omen. Stay true to yourself and again, thank you.

[@Rudenbehr]

Sorry you went through that. Honestly being gay and not being a white 20-30 year old is TOUGH. I imagine it's even worse in Europe than in the United States.

[@MrMojoRisin71]

Look, you're well refined. Great taste, good looks and a wonderful lifestyle. Ignore the ignorant, Cupid will find a way.

[@toyoscio]

So what of those that don't have this? Out of luck?

[@happyurbanite9897]

Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm sorry that you're having a hard time. I would caution you though, please don't generalize about the 'community'. We are all individuals and not everyone is this way or that way. I would say, as a white gay man, that you have not been treated fairly based upon what you've said. I encourage you to continue the dialogue and create your own community. There are good people out there and there are always opportunities for people to learn and evolve.

[@FriendofDorothy]

You are unfortunately correct in your observations. Suddenly there are multiple videos on YT on this same subject, gay people who are disavowing any allegiance to the gay community, and books like "Why Gay Isn't Gay But Is Still Great" (which questions or shreds so many aspects of what has traditionally been "the gay lifestyle"). And speaking of that overly used term, there is no such thing as a "gay lifestyle". That is nothing but a veiled, avoidant, and dated term that is indirectly referring to gay male sex, (Yes, these people think we do nothing more than twirl around in dance clubs, hang out in bars, drug and drink, and have copious sex, for assuming so dehumanizes us, erases our individuality, and allows for more of their tedious shame-mongering , all of which they are most comfortable with). Sadly, even Hollywood routinely presents these same old tired images repeatedly in movies! People who use the term "gay lifestyle" do so in order to avoid any mention of sex so as to outwardly appear bastions of social propriety. I question the term "gay lifestyle" whenever I hear it. It should be cancelled because THERE IS NO SUCH THING. Thanks for your courage..

[@KindlyKhari]

I appreciate you and your thoughts (which I concur). I'm in the community and tend not to adhere to all of the stereotypes--going out to bars/clubs and hook-up culture. But to add race/ethnicity and beliefs along with it makes it difficult occasionally. So I often feel like I don't fit *as well*. Finding this video is timely though; It's good to know I am not alone. Thank you for sharing and I hope to see more.

[@thepopeofwhitetrash2320]

I was in your shoes for many years and finally settled down with my mate 25 years ago and I escaped and he was a Capt. in the AF and I was in law enforcement and al the pretty sassy that drove fancy cars ,and wore designer cloths , were shocked I ended up married to my partner while they are all old and single . Stay the way you are , you will find happiness I promise you

[@brocscogmyre5592]

I figured out from some of your other videos that you were gay but it makes no difference to me, I find you to be an inspiration

[@normastanley5853]

This video must of been a tough one to make.. I am not gay,,but knowing how judgmental people can be it must be a hard road to travel..Best of wishes..

[@davidjones.lotshouse]

You are a brave man! I was gay friendly as a kind person, not gay at all and the men hate it and try to prove me gay but they can't. So sad. Keep up the great work sir. You are a real man who happens to be gay. Gay men who are gay first and call themselves men, many times are not real men. Kudos to you sir.

[@rogerdodger1790]

Every one of your videos is enlightening.

[@EthanFromLondon]

Thanks

[@anonimushbosh]

I remember seeing footage of a much oppressed community in a far flung land looking happy & just getting on with life. As i was marvelling at what positive role models these people obviously were quite by chance I saw them discussing a different topic and got a stark reminder of how the most ridiculous and insidious prejudices can thrive just about anywhere. I really need to find a better ending for this story!

[@jamesprivet]

Good video, thanks for discussing this on your channel. Interesting topic indeed, eye opening.

[@iloveny22]

This was all well said! I can relate a lot to this.

[@newworldlove7031]

Very well said. I am in exactly the same boat!

[@stevekirschman354]

I’m in USA , Long Island , no abuse here , I agree with you ♥️♥️♥️

[@DeBoerVan]

Ferrari not good video -> Porsche the regular Joe and this video now is great. I followed you instantly from the Ferrari video. I Respected you immediately, then confirm and increase my respect in the second video. With this video you are really great human that cares and has sense and brain power to live the life you want and respect everyone. Thank you for being you. Big respect from me as a father and a husband. We need to go back to respecting individuality while thinking of the humanity as out community. Help when you can bi kind and never judge people.

[@michagozdz172]

This video is 4 years old but i will comment. I am a man that finally figure myself out that i am bisexual man and not just heterosexual man. I am trying to learn about the so called lgbt community and i find myself more and more not wishing to join but be a normal man just living as a bisexual man. There is so much damage in this community that has not been addressed the correct way to actually get rid of it. In my learning process i stumbled upon the so called bi-erasure problem and when i watched that part of video about straight man being friendly towards gay men i thought that the same pattern is used upon bisexual men. Why is it that some gay men have this problem of interpreting other men that are not gays themselves but being friendly towards gay men as gay men in denial? That looks to me like like a type of hetero-erasure to heterosexual men and bi-erasure to bisexual men. Is it only this that you described in video or is there more to it?

[@JanneWolterbeek]

I’m Dutch, and ashamed of hearing that. I’d say most people are more tolerant than that, but sadly in the past 20 years or so we have had much more far right politics, with all sorts of discrimination etc.

[@danielthomas8507]

i tend to find the left to be far more discriminating across the board....most members of the lgbgt groups are lefties and are some of the most racist, and hateful groups ............i think you will find this is what Ethans talking about.................im right wing and accept all types...peace.

[@evgeny7039]

Don't you think that the "far right politics" is simply a counter reaction to uncontrolled mass migration from third world countries. Which is objectively ruining Europe

[@JanneWolterbeek]

@@evgeny7039 good point, although I have my doubts with “objectively ruining Europe”, but I respect your point of view.

[@evgeny7039]

@@JanneWolterbeek walk Paris, Milan, London 30 years ago and now. Stark difference. Not for the better. Seen anyone chasing others with machete 50 years ago in London?

[@cabbarcemozdemir8674]

Dear Ethan, every video you posted i am feeling closer to you. Hope to meet in somewhere sometime. ✌️

[@ollylevesque3404]

You aren’t atypical, most of us just don’t make this our entire personality which is a good thing. You sound interesting and have lots of hobbies idk much about like cars. I don’t believe in a “community” idk most of my friends don’t go bars either. When I went to London though it seemed hard to talk to people in general though as a Texan maybe that’s it? Thanks for your video.

[@JMLE1949]

What a nice person, you have got it right, do not be put off by your choice of lifestyle and partners/friends, and i look forward to following your youtube channel, take care. P.S. I am 'strait' and gay friendly and have friends with similar problems/outlook to yours Take Care

[@ziparis]

I've seen a few of your vids, and I certainly didn't think you were gay, lol. I was actually wondering how all the moving around and work on location would work with your girlfriend/ future wife/ kids, etc. I appreciate the candor of this and other videos. You're a likeable and down to earth guy - even with the money. (That's said tongue in cheek, but you know what I mean.) All the best to you.

[@StanleyKowalski.]

You are a great person. Due to my line of work, i meet all kind of people, age, race and sex. I am nice to all. If gays think i am nice for another reason, i rather be nasty.

[@chevalierdenoir754]

I feel so vindicated by this video because there are so many videos across the internet that address racism in the gay community but most of these videos focus on people of African descent so to hear that an individual from another racial minority group has also experienced this has made me realize that this is not just a "black" thing. Have you tried dating apps? it's less pressure. You are a very intelligent, well-groomed, handsome, well-dressed, successful man with a great apartment I am sure you will find someone. The worst treatment people in the community receive is for being fem and fat and you are none of those things.

[@pieterduplooy9113]

Truth right there! Thanks for saying that.

[@EthanFromLondon]

My pleasure!

[@NYCZ31]

You are not gay. You are attracted to persons who are the same sex as yourself, but saying you are gay is a political statement, with defined positions and viewpoints. This explains why If you don’t share those, then you aren’t gay in the eyes of others who identify themselves as gay.

[@garden_3130]

I agree with this statement. I was in the army with a guy like this. He was gay and had a boyfriend, was very interested in low key but tasteful fashion ie the GQ type, and he was not "the man" in his relationship (Ill just say it like that because calling him feminine doesn't seem to fit him well) but he wasn't then in 2000-2004, and still isn't now, involved in the community. He was always very practical and quiet. He had maybe 1 friend who was also a gay male but other than that he mostly spent time with his boyfriend, family or a couple of close female friends. He never appreciated the shenanigans, drama, wild partying etc and he adored his family but didn't share much about his relationship with them, I am assuming out of respect for their Christianity? just guessing, although he wasn't closeted from them either. He never mixed his sensuality with his family or his professional life and is very proud of his exemplary service in the military. I initially assumed these things were because homosexuality was illegal in the military at that time but now, I am aware that it's completely possible for someone to be attracted to the same secs and not fit any of the toxic stereotypes. Most people like this tend to steer clear of the larger gay community specifically for this reason in my experience.

[@susanaduarteraposo]

I like your speech very much… I started seeing a video about a Ferrari and ended here…If you weren’t gay, i would take you for me! Happy Valentine’s Day ❤

[@Jez1963UK]

You're not ordinary Ethan, you're special. PS I'm straight but used to get hit on by gays (a lot). And I used to be thought of as gay, but I'm not. PPS - I didn't guess you were gay :)

[@Pinerocks]

Good video. I suspect you also have high standards when seeking a partner which doesn’t make it easy. None of us know what is around the corner, so in the meantime embrace the single life!!