Family Friend OUTED My Pregnancy At Her Place Of Work, Should I Report Her? r/AITA

[@alicewilloughby4318]

Story 2 - 6:40 - Um... he calls her "fucking dumb" one minute and tells her to get more self-esteem the next? On that score alone, OP is TA.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Exactly. He was saying it was her low self esteem that brought her into tears, but he was the one who brought it down in the first place by calling her dumb. It’s gaslighting technically. Then tactlessly tried to backtrack and say he meant her method was dumb as if he already knew what he said hurt her. Still doesn’t negate the fact he said that and basically demeaned her self-esteem as if it was the reason she was upset before all that. The guy needs anger management and therapy to get pointers in life that sometimes his ways aren’t going to be the correct ones and that not everyone is going to agree to them or understand them even if they are correct.

[@BW022]

Actually, OP is correct. She does need more self-esteem. That includes building up enough self-esteem to leave this lunatic. If going on a driving trip with this guy involved complex schemes to try to get every cent split accurately over a $20 gas bill (when presumably they are spending hundreds of food hotels, etc.), plus insults, plus agreeing to something and changing your mind, etc. I'm pretty sure GF would be better off with another BF.

[@TsukiKageTora]

@@BW022 didn’t she leave him in the end? Like on an update/comment update, or am I thinking of another story? Way to tell someone how you’re single, “she broke up with me after I degraded her over gas on a trip because I think my way is better than hers and she didn’t get it”

[@huinismith]

HIPAA or not, It was NOT her news to share with OP's mom, it was OP's. God, this made me so mad!

[@Passions5555]

Wanna bet family friend did that to make sure OP would be under more pressure to keep the pregnancy by he mother already knowing so OP would have less options.

[@huinismith]

@@Passions5555 Regardless, I hope OP reports her nosy ass!

[@Passions5555]

@@huinismith agreed

[@MarionHogan-m5i]

Depending on OP’s circumstances and the family’s beliefs telling the family about the pregnancy could have led to a very difficult outcome. Learn to keep quiet if you want to work in the medical field.

[@Emily-ck9ji]

Story 2: OP is a "right fighter". He's a complete jerk and I really hope she tosses this man aside. What's wrong with him? And looking at that last reply to him, it sounds like he goes to reddit to share his abusive behavior and throws a temper tantrum when no one sides with him.

[@jc9485]

He sounds like he doesn't even like his girlfriend...

[@anperaza7738]

Yeah, I don’t even now why the gas price matters. I always try to compensate someone using their car so I do t get it. I guess he just wanted to fight.

[@sagesaria]

Story 1: Reporting someone for ACTUALLY doing something harmful to you is not Karen-ish. Karen-ish would be going back to scream at her and causing a massive scene about it.

[@Ospyro3em]

Second story- I guess I'm dumb too, because trying to understand OP's method was making my head spin! OP sounds like a real nightmare to be around

[@fytrndm]

Second that. I guess I'm dumb too coz I have no idea what on earth the OP was on about.

[@joycevelazquez2833]

LOL thanks! I thought I was having a brain freeze. Petty POS. I really wonder where these women meet these awful men.

[@andrewalexander9492]

OK, first off, the OP was definitely TA for calling his girlfriend stupid. No question about that. And second, it was her car they were driving, so I'd be inclined to make sure I paid *more* than exactly half the gas, because driving a car costs the owner money, even if they're not actually writing checks. So, I'm not defending the guy's behavior at all. That said, if it were a situation where it was for some reason really important that each person paid for exactly half the gas used, no more, no less, the OP's method is about the only way to accomplish that. You start the trip with a full tank of gas. and at the end of the trip, you fill the tank up, and however much gas you bought on the trip, plus the fill up to top the tank off at the end is *exactly* how much you burned on the trip ... so you split that. That's what car rental places do, (for the quantity, obviously they don't split your gas costs with you) you get the car with a full tank, and you've expected to return it with a full tank. If you just split the receipts for the fill ups you use on the road trip, it's not going to be exact. Gas gauges are approximate, so lets say you start with approximately 3/4 of a tank , but you don't know exactly. You split the cost of the fill ups on the trip, and when you get back home, the car has about 1/4 of a tank. That means the car owner is out about a 1/2 tank of gas which was used on the trip, but she wasn't reimbursed for half . Again, I'd probably make sure I paid for more than half the gas if I was riding in someone else's car on a road trip, but his method is probably the best way to make sure the gas expenses are split exactly in half.

[@selbarton]

Short version is his argument was to make it sound super complex to make her feel stupid. They wanted the same method basically except she wasn't worried if it was slightly off at the end for the final fill. He wanted to split each receipt and then add where she was add them up and split the total. It's change from rounding in the difference so not really an important amount. They started with a full tank or nearly full, so it wasn't going to be a real issue.

[@thedarkside0249]

I understand his method to an extent but his gf has a point she would be spending more than he does and then she has to pay for the wear and tear on her vehicle that isnt fair on him, she needs to break up with him hes emotionally abusive

[@nyteshayde1197]

This is most definitely a HIPAA violation and it could result in the practice being heavily fined and she could be jailed for it. Report her, immediately.

[@LinneAzalea]

Story 2: that guy isn't petty, he's straight up abusive. 100000% YTA.

[@dixietenbroeck8717]

Even as an old, retired RN just _HEARING_ about that breach of privacy nearly *made me SCREAM!* If I knew that witch *I'D REPORT HER - STAT!*

[@immortalsofar5314]

#1: Let me guess - this friend is anti-choice and wanted to remove the option of a quiet termination from OP and the ends justify the means. Get her fired, *NOW.* I work with computers and have more respect for people's privacy than she does and that's just to do with personal information, not life-changing stuff.

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

Agreed. I worked in a pharmacy/PBM and had a similar situation with a coworker. (The whole situation ended SOOOO terribly, and I can only assume she did it for her anti-choice beliefs). She lost her job, hopefully, lost her license, and she and the company were sued for a ton. The case was settled, so everything is sealed, but as I said, the anti-choice coworker made things so terrible. And it makes me wonder WHY even get into the healthcare field if you don't care about people's health. (BTW, the situation was dicey, and we all knew it. The wife was obviously abused, her husband was very obviously abusive. Behind the scenes, I guess he was trying to get her pregnant to trap her further, but I'm guessing she was trying to make her escape plans, so she was getting BC and hiding it from him. He called in and said, "I need a refill on my prescription." Rules are, you don't name prescriptions for others unless THEY say the name of the medication or verify they are the correct recipient of the prescriptions. The coworker was against BC. She asked the husband WHICH prescription he'd like filled, which raised questions with him. "Your prescription, or your wife's prescription?"... Long story short, she shared the name and usage of the wife's prescription.... and the wife was beaten within an inch of her life... all because the coworker couldn't keep her fucking mouth shut.)

[@emtims1670]

@@Original_Tenshi_Chan Ugh. That's infuriating.

[@puli_dreadhead]

The type of person that tries convince someone who’s child-free that “they haven’t found the right person to have kids with” rhetoric.

[@pansprayers]

That was my first thought, too. She did this to make herself a hero, and make the choices available limited. She's dangerous AF.

[@itsjustmaddisen]

@@Original_Tenshi_Chan I hope that ex co-worker gets beaten within an inch of her life too, just so she learns her lesson and place properly:)

[@AndyyWithAY]

It is not petty or assholish, it's literally the law! Everyone who works in those settings are bound by law to keep your information private. I worked in a nonclinical job at the hospital and we had to do HIPAA training yearly. Everyone knows this is illegal and the law.

[@jacquiethebibliophil]

What if the OP wanted to terminate and didn't want anyone to ever know about the pregnancy?

[@Ambidexter143]

Breaking the law has consequences, the woman needs to be prosecuted for violating HIPAA.

[@dixietenbroeck8717]

Not JUST her employer. _IF_ she has any license (RN, LVN/LPN, Med. Asst, Nursing Asst) she should _ALSO_ be reported to the relevant Board.

[@itsjustme7487]

Nurse is the ass. Also a Hippa violator.. REPORT this nasty woman.

[@ALu-nq8rf]

Lol! "YOU'RE NOT CANCELLED, THAT'S THE LAAAAAWWW!!!"

[@strudel_reviews]

Story 1: NTA she could've gotten a different woman killed, and Story 2: YTA and it's things like that is you'll be spending the rest of your life alone

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

Story 1: Completely correct, Not only did she rob OP of having a chance to tell her family and having that joist moment with them, have that been the wrong girl and the wrong family, OP could be beaten and dead right now because she got pregnant. And you can be friends with someone and not know what goes on behind closed doors, that friend doesn't know that OP's mom is supportive, her mom can pretend to be that way and then come around when the door is closed and just beat the shit out of OP and do whatever else, she needs reported, as does anyone who breaks that rule.

[@jesterbrown90]

Story 1: HIPPA doesn't care about her circumstances. NTA, but expect fallout if you do report her. Story 2: YTA. What is wrong with OP? He just might have gotten himself dumped because he had to be right. OP needs to get over himself, but given his apparent history, it's more likely he's going to spend his twilight years alone, angry, and racking his brain over why they all just don't get it.

[@carolroberts4614]

Sounds like my ex-husband! Alone and bitter and not realising how badly he treated his family!

[@itsjustmaddisen]

Story 2: guy seems REALLY angry and verbally abusive towards his girlfriend. He needs to get help because he just escalated everything for no reason whatsoever.

[@WardNightstone]

story 1 what moms friend did IS ILLEGAL

[@hyperplaguerat]

Yeah, it's not Karenish at all to report her. It's not petty to report a HIPPA violation. That woman violated OP's legal rights & privacy.

[@dionysus_adores]

Time and time again doctors nurses and other medical professionals do this and always act surprised when they get into trouble. 9/10 she had done this to alot more women then op

[@funwithcoding2818]

Reporting is literally a public service, she is definitely messing with people’s lives, and possibly putting people in danger

[@yatzy7510]

This is in the US where the issue with abortion is highly debated. If it was the result from a r*pe or, in his case, despite being on birth control it could be highly possible that the patient wanted an abortion. When being so young (when in our society you almost have to reach 30 years of age to be financially stable) it might be damaging to have a kid. Many women around that age fret to get pregnant and might face repercussions from friends, family and society for getting a termination... this is so freaking dangerous that I can't comprehend how this woman even got the idea to tell people

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 1 I hope she loses her job over this. You don't air other peoples business. Especially medical wise.

[@xevira]

not only lose her job, but get blacklisted from any industry/job where confidentiality is required... not just the medical field. She's a walking lawsuit waiting to happen.

[@Barlmoro]

this could ruin the doc too if she gossip over to much patient. She needs to be fired.

[@francit4856]

1) Mum's friend should definitely be reported. Her lack of professionalism reflects poorly on her employer who also bears legal responsibility for this. Gossips have no place in the health care system.

[@yandereskitty]

She broke the law. Patient confidentiality is majorly important. Report her, she could seriously harm others with that.

[@itsjustme7487]

I agree.

[@bricksloth6920]

Story 1: HIPAA violation, get her fired and sue her if you want, she was totally out of line

[@lisakaz35]

Story 4: the answer is: "Don't invite me, Dad -- you allowed that woman to be horrible to me and my sister for years. You live with your choice. Don't expect to every know my kids."

[@romonaelrod7870]

Story #1,report that woman. She broke the law and invaded your privacy and it was totally uncool. She could get some poor woman killed. Story#2. Dude is the a hole. He is being abusive to his girlfriend. I hope she dumps him.

[@Carla_Valjeta]

the "Karen-ish" comment pissed me off, NTA OP because HIPPA exists for a reason and breaking it is a massive no no

[@JordanDragonAs]

No I think her boyfriend said the woman was Karen-ish

[@Carla_Valjeta]

@@JordanDragonAs "My boyfriend agrees but thinks it's kinda Karen-ish" that's directed at OP

[@JordanDragonAs]

@@Carla_Valjeta if that's all you read then you missed the mother part

[@Carla_Valjeta]

@@JordanDragonAs Sentence structure literally has the OPs BF saying they are being Karen-ish. but hey keep arguing when you are incorrect.

[@jasperj.d.g.4147]

@@JordanDragonAs Marie is right. The boyfriend thinks reporting her is a karen-ish thing to do.

[@AndyyWithAY]

If you have disdain for "little people" you definitely shouldn't be a doctor. All types of people need medical care. You will encounter homeless, drug addicts, severe mental illness, lawyers, teachers, janitors, waitresses. Everyone deserves dignity. Leah will get a ton of complaints if she keeps this up. What if she has a mental break or illness and can no longer continue as a medical professional. OP is definitely NTA

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

It's bad to say, but I really hope something happens that she can never be a Doctor outside of a degree

[@fionaeckert4556]

@@GabrielleHayes1921 my thought exactly.

[@carolroberts4614]

She was 2 years into med training at a top school, what does that make her,20 or 21? And she ran sobbing to mummy? I bet she doesn't get right through med school!( Hope not, anyway, I wouldn't want her as my doctor)

[@somedragonbastard]

My mom was a paramedic for years and she has loads of stories about meeting all sorts of people. Almost all of the stories where she got mad are about the most privileged mfs you'll ever see.

[@anthonystike6034]

​@@carolroberts46142 years into Medical School, in the US, that she would be 24 or 25.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 3: NTA man that family is terrible. Good on OP for protecting his family. Amd if that's the compassion and empathy she shows people, I hope she fails medical school.

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

I hope she can never be a doctor or something happens to ensure she's never one outside of a degree

[@samsonaruwa2644]

Story two: the way it’s written it sounds like there is less gas in the end than when they started and so it should be him paying her for gas and not the other way around. Him throwing a fit is actually a lot worse when you take that into consideration

[@t.matthies3049]

Yep, and even if it was "slightly less" than a full tank when they started together, if she filled up, than went to pick him up, that would still count as part of the trip. Plus, she's his girlfriend-if he ends up paying a few extra dollars is it really that big a deal? Maybe I just know generous people, but there was one time I was carpooling to a wedding with a guy I'd literally just met, and he refused gas money when offered. He told me to just pay it forward because that's what other people had done for him. If you're treating your partner worse than some people treat random strangers, there's a problem.

[@WanderwithIntent]

Yeah I thought the same. Basically, if less gas is in the tank atm than before, you go and fill up close to the same amount and you are both out more money to cover that last gas. So she didn't owe him anything, he owed her to make up for half the gas that was missing. But she was clearly just over all the arguing about the gas and was trying to just give him money to shut up him after having to be nickled and dimed the whole time.

[@samsonaruwa2644]

@@WanderwithIntent yea she definitely was but like it just pissed me off more that he called her dumb and she was the generous one

[@carolroberts4614]

He sounds exhausting, and this nitpicking over small amounts of money like this is not a good look!

[@danisonice.]

ya that's what i thought too. theyre supposed to fill the tank to what it was in the beginning of the trip and then split the cost

[@fytrndm]

Yeah, people do that a lot with children who are sick. The neverending "oh, it must be hard on your [parent]" without acknowledging the child is the one that has to go through all the treatments and pain. Yeah, it's hard on the parents but don't take it out on the child. It wasn't as if they asked to be born.

[@andreawalker8343]

People also do that a lot with children who aren’t raised by their bio parents :(

[@genericdragon7260]

HIPAA was definitely violated.

[@puli_dreadhead]

Story 4: stepmom didn’t hide her favoritism or dislike for her stepdaughters. Dad ignored the signs and the damage she has caused. I wouldn’t want my abuser (my mom) who is fully aware of her actions at my wedding either. NTA.

[@loneranger7831]

She's not the a hole because she didn't want her stepmom there only because she invited her dad with a plus one invitation and expected him not to bring her but she's barely the a hole in this and the Stepmom is way worse but she still does not owe the Stepmom an apology at all

[@immapotato1]

@@loneranger7831 ya the yta is about her not making it clear that Stepmom was banned

[@bubblegum1366]

@@immapotato1 It should have been clear though. My dad had a girlfriend he was with for years, and is now my brother's mom, who was extremely abusive to me in particular. but left my brother alone. If he had brought her to a school play the rest of my family would have burned them alive without me needing to say anything, let alone my wedding. He knew how she treated his daughter, it was obvious she wouldn't want her there, he's ta for bringing her anyway. It's not like he was some random relative not aware of the situation, he lived in the house while it happened.

[@run4everon]

Last story’s OP didn’t “put her mom though” anything. When my son was in the hospital for emergency surgery and IV antibiotics, I struggled, but I felt so much worse for him. He was only 2. I hated that he was in pain, and his surgery scar broke my heart. When I reflect on that time, I’m never sad for myself. I’m always sad for him. I would NEVER want him to feel the burden that he put me through a trial during that time. It was a service I gladly gave because I love him and I wanted him well.

[@tarotinthekichen1831]

I almost wonder if the aunt has a problem with the fact they are adopted but know she can’t bring that up as a reason op should be “grateful “

[@run4everon]

@@tarotinthekichen1831 that’s the only explanation to me. Because children owe their parents nothing but maybe respect. Yes the mother went through a trial, but as an adoptive parent, it was a trial she chose. I bet she’d choose it again. How awful to grow up with your aunt telling you that one of the worst times of your life was actually just you making your parents suffer! How awful to be told you are such a burden.

[@RevWarRev]

Story 1: NTA - and she'd be doing the rest of this practice's patients a favor to report this woman's violation OF A FEDERAL LAW. It is IMPOSSIBLE to work in medicine and not know about HIPAA. And if the OB does nothing report the OB to the state agency with oversight. OP isn't causing this woman to lose her job (if she does) her own actions have.

[@fytrndm]

If I was David, I would've told OP to revoke the invitation of the family members who sided with Leah. If she is that entitled, imagine the bloody nightmare she would be as a doctor. Though, I have no doubt a senior nurse would take her down a peg or several on her first day at the hospital. Would love to be there to see that.

[@Park-Kim_VMin]

Love to be a fly on the wall 😂.

[@louellacharlton4425]

My niece works as head RN at a teaching hospital. Omg you should here the mistakes the residents make and the way my niece talks to them. She has 3 boys 20,16,15 yrs old. She treats the residents the way you would a 3 yr old. It's like a frat house in the hospital. She's in ICU so life and death all the time. Hippa is so important here USA. These would be Drs order so much garbage to spend patients money.

[@bunnyslippers191]

Yep. The grandparents and the aunt who lost their crap at Martha for throwing that container of curry after Leah had been bullying her for the entire meal shouldn't be invited, either. Leah seems to be the Golden Child for the entire family except for OP and his children (he didn't mention a wife/children's mother specifically other than using "we" regarding the invitations, etc.) and can do no wrong in their eyes. Oh, yeah, some Head Nurse (or more probably many Head Nurses considering how many departments there are in a teaching hospital) is going to burst Leah's bubble of privilege repeatedly. So will the attending physicians the the senior residents.

[@Epoxinator]

Story 1, her employment should be at risk. She should be fired for releasing medical information. What if the OP didn't want a baby and chose termination?

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

What is disgusting about Leah is that she's going on about "being a doctor" and the crud she's spewing about waitresses and similar as though they are "less than"... I am going to feel for the nurses and janitors at the hospital she would be working at, not to mention the patients. I hope she fails her exams or something to have her dreams go bye bye.

[@JordanDragonAs]

She may not even get hired due to attitude

[@brigidtheirish]

@@JordanDragonAs Eh, I've met doctors with that attitude. She could end up having her own practice.

[@emeraldsword4528]

Story 3: NTA. by siding with the bully instead of their own daughter, they're saying they don't care about their victim of a daughter or her mental and emotional health. they're saying that now by demanding the bully be invited. Tell David what's going on and see what he thinks about disinviting the enablers.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 5: NTA there seems to be some implied anti-adoption/racism in the aunts comments. Completely downplaying OP, the actual patient, every time she had an emotion about anything is terrible. I'm glad Op finally said something.

[@wascawywabbit0987]

Yeah, OP should replace the "A" in "Aunt" with a "C"

[@ScooterBond1970]

My thought was (and I hate throwing words like this around, but) Auntie sounds ablist. Also agree w/ the last comment that said she seems to be trying to ride mom's sympathy coattails.

[@Mewse1203]

@@wascawywabbit0987 😂🤣

[@katta309]

Story 5: The fact that the Aunt only said that around OP when her/his parents where'nt there is saying alot about her just wanting to put OP down and make her feel bad

[@threeducks157]

That men sounds like the kind of guy who thinks its a genius but cant pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written in the soles... also how is his crappy method which introduces unpredictable variables vs splitting a net total down the middle right in a y way shape or form lol.

[@moimeself1088]

"Written in the souls"? What does that mean? Never heard of this saying.

[@wascawywabbit0987]

@@moimeself1088 He means soles, the bottom of boots or shoes. Souls are the life essence of people and animals.

[@moimeself1088]

@@wascawywabbit0987 oh, that makes more sense. Thanks.

[@threeducks157]

@@moimeself1088 lol my bad that was ment to be soles

[@Poeticfloetic]

*soles of shoes? Not souls 😜

[@andrewalexander9492]

Story 1, I'd absolutely file a complaint. If mom's distant friend from the past can't put the doctor's patients' confidentiality above her need to have all the latest juicy gossip, then she needs to not be in a position where she can violate patient confidentiality. Never mind that the *type* of doctor she is employed by guarantees that the patient information she has access to, is by nature, a lot more personal than at other offices. That's not to say that dental information (for example) should be any less confidential, but realistically, information about Pregnancies, miscarriages, abortions, STI's and the like is in a completely different realm than information about cavities and fillings. This woman needs a job in a tire shop.

[@pansprayers]

Naw, she'd be calling wives and husbands to complain about the tires the spouse bought. This woman needs a job that doesn't face the public, period, once she gets out of jail. Counting paperclips might work.

[@whatsanenigma]

Seems to me like Leah is counting her proverbial chickens before they've hatched. She's still in medical school and with that attitude she just might never finish.

[@Digitalfairy]

Also from the look of it the other familys enabling her in hopes that they'll get more money when she becomes doctor.

[@brigidtheirish]

You kidding? With that attitude, she could end up picking any practice she wants.

[@mamabear1394]

Those YTA comments in the story about the stepmother who was jealous of her husband’s daughters made my blood boil. It’s a clear ESH because no the stepmother isn’t entitled to a wedding of someone she abused but OP should have Told her dad that

[@squirrel670]

She's not an AH for not wanting her there, but even i couldn't say that the dad should have known to not bring her if given a plus one and not told. She should have said something. Even if you were terrible to someone you aren't wrong for going to the wedding when it seems you are welcome. The step mom is now using this to her advantage and op should have seen it coming. She didn't go about it the right way.

[@kichikitsu]

honestly I think it's a NTA. Yes, OP made a mistake in not explicitly telling her dad that, but people are allowed to make oversights and then correct them once they realize. Righting a mistake does not make someone an asshole, and they should not have to put up with a horrid person just because they "didn't say no." Honestly, why the hell did stepmom even come when she hates OP that much?

[@chelseapthib36]

Bruh saame! Except I think Dad should have known that his daughter and wife didn't like each other and especially because she never kept contact with her. I mean, you can't be that blind. I bet if OP was a dude, he wouldn't be the AH... same way if a guy cheats or has an emotional affair reddit says he deserves a 2nd chance, but if it's a woman they scream leave her, divorce her! Wahhhnn! I hate idiots on reddit.

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

Nope, I wouldn't have apologised, Dad can kick rocks if he thinks I would apologise for not wanting a nasty woman at my wedding day. Edit: Seeing the comments and such, I can see where OP went wrong, sounds like nothing was pass on to specify that Brenda couldn't attend. Not sure how I would go with that to be fair. So somewhat of an AH on OP's part for thinking her Dad wouldn't have taken step-mum if there wasn't anything said beforehand.

[@owl7072]

Story 4: I can see where the YTA votes are coming from but the way I see it, while it's a given that dad would bring his wife I think it's _also_ a given that you shouldn't bring someone who has mistreated your child and accused them of things they didn't do to said child's wedding. She was abusive to OP and her sister and you think bringing her to Op's wedding is a good idea? "Ah yes, let's just bring the source of my daughter's trauma to one of the most important events of her life, what do you mean you don't want her here? Why didn't you say that? How was I supposed to know you didn't want your abuser at your wedding where she could ruin it and/or make you feel like shit just like she's done since the day you met her."

[@krystalfloods6197]

Exactly. He knew how his wife treated his daughter. He just doesn’t care and OP is better off without him. He let it happen for years and did nothing.

[@maximillian1109]

Story 1: Imagine if she was coming to the obgyn to talk about what options she had for an abortion or something. Who does that lady think she is to just spread the news for this woman?!

[@RosesCookiesAndMilk]

Story 5: NTA. I wonder if the aunt thinks op should be grateful cause OP was adopted from a foreign country.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Whoever is reading this i send hugs and great vibes. Drink water, eat food, nap, take a break, take care of yourself gosh darn it. And if you don't I swear I will find you and keep you in a cottage and take care of you. 🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜

[@katiesmith2031]

Hugs and great vibes back 🤗🤗💙💙🤗🤗💙💙

[@sylviajones6745]

You too.take care

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@sylviajones6745 🤗🤗💜💜

[@catandrobbyflores]

"Not welcome in his home unless I apologize to brenda" was that supposed to be a punishment because it sounds like brenda was awful there too. Nta

[@carolbelvin5278]

In Story 2, the girlfriend needs to kick OP/her boyfriend to the curb. He is a major AH.

[@dixietenbroeck8717]

"Apology" _re_ Brenda: "I'm _TERRIBLY SORRY_ that I neglected to make it strikingly lucid to Dad that *YOU,* just you, were _ABSOLUTELY_ *NOT WANTED, NOT INVITED,* _AND_ *NOT WELCOME* to my nuptial celebration! That was *MY BAD,* and I _SINCERELY DO_ accept full responsibility. I hope you can find it in your heart (after you find your heart, that is) to forgive me for this most egregious lapse of a societal expectation." So, do Y'All think that might suffice? (Snicker, snicker! 🤣)

[@JayeEllis]

Story 4: NTA - When you only name half a couple on the invite, it is EXPRESSLY stating the other is not invited, and your Dad was in the wrong to bring her without clearing it with you first, or at least inquiring as to why you left Brenda off the invitation. Who cares if her feelings are hurt? Let your Dad pick her, and just cut them both off.

[@starbird3939]

Story 2 - YTA Honestly? The gf’s method sounds THE most logical. And yet the Op not only harped on her for this weird method, but also yelled at her and called her demeaning names. I hope GF dumps this arsehle

[@Jade_The_Squeak]

Story 3 I relate to this story I wanted to work in the culinary business. It's a high stress job but then I was I diagnosed with epilepsy/pnes and basically my dreams was smashed into a million pieces had I had a cousin like that I would've chucked an entire pot at said cousin

[@emeraldsword4528]

Story 4: need information before judgement. Did OP specifically tell him not to bring Brenda?

[@amysmith6791]

Story 2- He sounds like the kind of guy who counts the number of squares when it's his turn to buy toilet paper. Who gives a damn when it is a few bucks either way! YTA!

[@LaineyBug2020]

Story 3: If your family sided with Leah, why did you invite the rest of them in the first place? They're just going to hassle her about it on her wedding day!

[@marie-bernadettebenedict3007]

Story 2: wow YTA how can someone be so petty and ruin a relationship over your ego. Is this really the hill you want to die on? Sad

[@desireeloveros1055]

Story 1: my mom was in this exact situation when pregnant with me although she was 6 months along. Her plan to escape my grandparents were ruined. They sent her to “counseling” by those pro birth nut jobs. They got a lawyer and attempted to get her to sign away her parental rights. The theory is if I was a boy my grandparents would’ve adopted me (they had all girls) or my great aunt would’ve adopted me (they had all boys) obviously that didn’t happened but the trauma from that lasted forever. They constantly threatened to take me away. REPORT HER and sue her ass for good measure

[@elspethgraham9531]

I am a retired medical technologist. I once worked in a small town hospital and the only medical lab for a hundred miles. One day, my pastor's wife came in for a pregnancy test. It was positive. She was happy, but also begged me not to tell anyone else. Apparently the previous tech blabbed when this woman was pregnant with her first child. I was floored that anyone could/would do that. In Story 1, that receptionist should be fired for breeching HIPAA and betraying the trust of the patients there.It is not petty for "tattling" on her; she is the petty one who should never work in health care again.

[@standinthegsp6858]

Report her. Tell the dr & anyone who says you shouldn’t have told on her that you’re concerned that if she told the wrong person it coulda actually cause someone’s life to end.

[@standinthegsp6858]

Report the woman to the OB & to the medical board. She violated hippa which is a felony. The OB can be fined & lose their license & the receptionist can get prison time as well as fines.

[@emeraldsword4528]

Story 5: NTA. what a horrible aunt. Op had it hardest as the patient of the transplant. Her siblings probably also went without luxuries like entertainment, candy, cake, birthday and Christmas presents. It was hard on everyone actually involved.

[@silverstarmoon5802]

The first story, nta and report her. She doesn't have the right to do that.

[@jacquiethebibliophil]

I was confused about the "plus one" too, Mark. When I married the first time, my then fiancé, was the product of a marriage that had dissolved when he was a toddler. His maternal grandmother got custody after the mother became an alcoholic after the messy divorce. BTW: they were in New England and we were in the South West--I had only met one of his family. Anyway, he was estranged from both parents and especially his father's second wife. When I asked for the names of family and friends he wanted to invite he said his father "and guest". They had been married for about 20 years at that time and the invitation should have been addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. So and So", not "Mr. So and So and Guest". She did NOT take well to the and guest and on those grounds refused to attend. Neither would his father...it may have been what about to be hubby wanted. My fiancé swore he told me to address the envelope that way because he thought they'd divorced. His sister called BS on that as there was no reason to think that. Since OP had no reason to believe her father had divorced she knew "plus one" would mean the evil step-mother. But why didn't she or the father question her name not being on the invitation? However, OP is the AH for setting it up for this to happen.

[@mariem8705]

S4- she didn’t tell her dad that Brenda wasn’t invited because he wouldn’t have come or walk her down the aisle.

[@alexiam5508]

OMG! Yes!

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Hey you yes you remember to take care of yourself gosh darn it, you are always valid, and I love you and care about you so please take care of yourself 💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@LoveableNiki]

Story 1: NTA. Report her IMMEDIATELY.

[@cherissefortune9872]

Story 1 NTA put her in her place and remind her of privacy laws

[@mikek694]

Story 1: NTA. The OB needs to know that her employee’s loose lips are opening her and her practice to potential liability and penalties for violating the HIPAA law. That has to stop before it gets out of hand. She must know now, don’t wait.

[@Weirdandwonderfull19]

Story 1- I think OP WBTA if they DIDN'T report this woman. Breaching patient confidentiality is illegal.

[@TheHellsHobbit]

#1 Report her, she broke the law, Hepa is there for a reason. Love an update.

[@itjustmemanning8441]

I hope op from the first story gives us an update. I really hope she got that lady in trouble for calling her mom. That was just wrong 😕

[@TheHellsHobbit]

#5 NTA Glad you stood up to her and mom and dad having your back.

[@bobcatred]

Gas-splitting OP is a giant tool and how he even got a girlfriend to begin with is the real mystery that needs solving.

[@fytrndm]

Second OP's girlfriend is right. Her way is far more sensible and she is also correct that they didn't factor in the wear and tear of the vehicle which is another thing OP neglected. If you go on a trip using someone's car, you add up the gas receipt and _then_ split it at the end of the trip. It is also good to remember to give a few dollars extra to the person whose car you used (with the exception of rental) as a thanks. Yeah, they still went onto that trip with you but if it wasn't for their car, you'd be paying extra for rental. Doesn't hurt to slip the extra five or ten and told them it was for coffee or something.

[@puli_dreadhead]

Like how OP was explaining his method I couldn’t keep up. I went on a road trip using someone else’s car. The whole trip I paid for gas because I had done the trip before and knew the expenses of preparing your car beforehand.

[@Fete_Fatale]

Exactly. What's more, the AH bf is arguing over what amounts to no more than the cost of a cup of coffee too.

[@Silence-1170]

Have A Happy Sunday Ya'll! The community here is so special and amazing you all deserve a good day!

[@MarkNarrations]

Aww that's lovely Silence, thanks for being a part of it!

[@medchan5810]

I'm listening to story 3 and wow. Is no one going to comment on the fact that the brother, Martha's uncle, and her cousin aren't invited because of what happened but her grandparents ARE, when they've consistently sided AGAINST her and have called her horrible for ruining a dress? NTA for not inviting those people but OP absolutely IS the AH for inviting some of the more vocal people who condone the abuse on his daughter.

[@JordanDragonAs]

I think the grandparents may have apologized and understanding

[@medchan5810]

@@JordanDragonAs The grandparents are OP's parents. The story literally talks about how they belittle OP about "being petty". So I will respectful disagree. If they did apologize, then it was only for show, which is kinda worse imo.

[@smirglepapier531]

@@medchan5810 I think because it is easier to disengage with siblings / other relatives than with one's own parents?

[@supergeeky7529]

For story #1 report her. She knows better. She knows HIPPA. I used to work at a clinic both as med rec and as a receptionist. If I had learned medical shit about my SO's mama I wouldn't have said SHIT!

[@Pumpkin_Kisses]

Dear Reddit, Doing this just because I’ve had this law beaten-I mean taught to me by my first corporate employer(medical insurance); It’s H-I-P-A-A! Not H-I-P-P-A. Sincerely, Sheldon Cooper

[@cheskydivision]

Wondering if ops siblings are also adopted. It’s almost like that is an underlying thing for the aunt.

[@UzumakiDonnoHinata]

S2 YTA. Ummm..... They're almost exactly the same methods. Only the first or last fill would be marginally different, not even both. It just depends on whether she fills up on her own the first time or not and whether they refill together to the same level after they're done or guesstimate. Otherwise the math is literally the same, the time of payment is just different. If OP doesn't have OCD or ASD, there's no leniency. If they do, they're still TA but I understand why they'd be so obsessive.

[@johnpatricklim4509]

Story 1: This is a breach of medical privacy laws. This has to be reported, it will reflect this also on the reputation of the OB if this is not reported....

[@wmdkitty]

1: NTA. That receptionist literally broke the law. Reporting her is just the natural consequence. 2: YTA. OP is just a massive abusive a-hole. 3: ESH. Leah sucks for deliberately poking at Martha. Martha sucks for ruining Leah's dress. OP sucks for being petty over something that didn't even involve OP. 4: NTA. Stepmom showed up uninvited, OP has every right to toss her out on her ear. 5: NTA. Aunt is just out of line. OP put her in her place.

[@dm9078]

Tell the parents and sister they don’t have to come either! NTA! Dad should have left with Brenda.And YTA!

[@srwater1]

I would report her. My ex-husband wife is a nurse at my doctor's office. We are on great terms and even call each other wifey. As soon as my appt came up she informed them who I was. She has zero access to my information. She eventually got a promotion(yeah her) and moved to another clinic. She knows all my info already, not the point. That's my information to share. I'm glad she was professional about the situation and never even had to say anything.

[@DFullerLisa]

Most women wait till the end of the first tri to announce. What if she had a miss carriage? The lady took away OPs moment to tell her OWan mother. I wouldn't hesitate to report her. What else is she blabbing about? The Dr can get fined as well since shes probably working under their license. Its a big deal.

[@heathercarbaugh1447]

Story one, report her! That is a violation of HIPAA.

[@MrsGump]

As a person who used to work for a GP in NZ, lay a complaint. She shouldnt even KNOW ur medical history let alone discussing it. The one time i came across a file of a person who i knew of (i didnt know her it was a cousins friend who i knew by name only) i steered clear of anything to do with her file. Its NONE of my business whats going on with her medically. I was late teens at the time, am a nosey fucker in general but even i knew how NONE OF MY BUSINESS peoples medical issues/history is/are!!

[@kendrabales2163]

Story 2: OP was gas lighting his gf over gas. She needs to get away from him.

[@charondusk5608]

Story 1 - "My BF thinks it's kinda Karen-ish" This is the exact opposite of being a Karen. As OP said, if this woman had opened her mouth and blabbed to someone else, it could've resulted in the mother and unborn child being kicked out or worse, killed. There is a REASON there are laws against this exact kind of thing and OP NEEDS to report this woman before she gets someone hurt as, if she's willing to do it once, she's either done it before or WILL do it again..

[@virginiaherman2414]

On the wedding story, I might have suggested inviting Leah's parents, too, just to rub it in that Leah's treatment of the groom's sister is the problem. Why on earth would she even want to come to the 'little people' wedding?

[@TikiDragon1]

You want to split the gas. You fill it the first time she fills the second then alternate. Boom, solved. Edit: YTA. If you had to explain your method several times then you didn't explain it that well.

[@amerlin388]

Neither of your statements shows a very good grasp of reasoning. OP is definitely not boyfriend of the year material. You don't split hairs in a relationship. Are they dirt poor? Maybe he WAS just despairing of her inability to grasp what he saw as obvious. Depending on the nature of the trip, many times I would think one or the other would foot most of the gas bill out of simple gratitude for being included, for example to a family get-together.

[@KeitieKalopsia]

“US Justice Department says…” Caught me off guard for a second

[@sleepinglabradors]

Yayyyy congrats on 70k Mark!! I’ve been keeping a close eye on the numbers and impatiently waiting 🥳

[@skyetan86]

Heart Story: Aunt really loves to participate in the misery Olympics, doesn't she?

[@TheHellsHobbit]

#4 NTA, She reaps what she sowed.

[@Tapped-o9k]

Story 2: nah man thats wild, that would trigger me in a major way. Him calling her stupid was rude and hes the ah for that but damn hes right

[@itsneverduck.8691]

Story Two- Wow!!! OP sounds insufferable!! I agree that the friend should’ve charged them for ware on the car. I give the friend credit because if they started getting that bent about explaining their perspective that hard over something so stupid, I would’ve simply told them, ‘ you’re out’. They wouldn’t be going on the trip with me.

[@LilChuunosuke]

*Story 1:* NTA. I remember seeing a story on r/iDontWorkHereLady in which someone was doing maintenance work behind the reception desk at a hospital and the mother of a pregnant woman *demanded* to be given the date of her daughter's next appointment. She made this huge scene and had to have security escort her out. When they called the patient to let her know, the patient informed them that she had cut contact with her mother for being a dangerous person and did not want her mother anywhere near herself or her child. HIPPA laws exist for a reason. I am one of many people out there who if a doctor were to violate HIPPA laws and inform a "loved one" of any of my medical information, my safety could be in danger. Just because OP is one of those lucky people who was not harmed by this, doesn't mean she doesn't pose a significant danger to many patients.

[@zrexxylofan8905]

Story four: Sorry Mr. waffle man but I’m going to have to disagree with you I’m going to say regardless of if they were invited or not it is Opie‘s wedding and they can do almost anything they want for any reason and should barely be question but if they do get questioned and have a valid reason you know possibly like constant Verbal abuse from a stepmother that was jealous because they happen to be daddy’s girls I find people who get jealous because kids have a close bond with their parent stupid like do they really think there’s something else going on there

[@nikkideede7972]

This, plus not all invitations say +1. Most likely ops father just assumed that it was.

[@Beth-jy4gl]

Story 2: OP is one of the worst kind of people to deal with, he always has to be right, to the point of making his own life - and the life of people around him - way more difficult than it needs to be. Not to mention, he's unbelievably rude about something so petty. They should absolutely get dumped.

[@SaphireSalvatore940]

Story One: NTA report her and change the clinic you go to. My sisters MIL works at a clinic and she's constantly nosing through my sisters records and then calls and tells her son lies. On one occasion she called him and told him my sister had Thrust and it meant she had cheated, any woman can tell you Thrust isn't an STD 🙄 but my BIL is very insecure and paranoid and now in every argument he throws it in her face.

[@ingegerdandersson6963]

How did the lady know what the OB had told you? It might be that she read things she have no business reading not only texting your mother

[@D123-f9k]

Oh the struggle of health issues making it hard to find a career. That hits home. 😔