Sister Is INSISTING Singing At My Wedding, Family Is Angry I Won't Let Her r/AITA

[@esafiri4663]

First story: If sister REALLY wanted to sing at her bro's wedding, wouldn't she have made it a gift, instead of wanting to be paid?

[@livewellwitheds6885]

also if it was for the couple not her, she would back off when they say no

[@cassandram6447]

00000😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

[@cynthiaholland13]

Such a good point!!

[@lancerevell5979]

"Egging" a car isn't a "trick", it is vandalism. Eggs can destroy the paint if left on. I have had this happen, requiring a complete repaint.

[@slytherinlibrarian3501]

And the parents KNEW that they were going to egg someone's car. They stated that the kids had seen it in a film and wanted to try it. They basically condone the action.

[@t.matthies3049]

Yep. Plus, even if it didn't damage the car and it were a harmless prank, they'd still be obligated to clean it up. I try not to judge parents, but refusing to hold your child accountable for that kind of thing is not good parenting.

[@FredRated1967]

And this is why I have a second hand hooptie (still runs great). The paint job is already bad. 😃

[@rougecat4762]

As a person who got their car egged while I was driving in it I can tell you it's not just residue that damaged the car. Where the eggs hit scratched and chipped the paint off in a crackle circle pattern. Thousands in damages the parents had to pay for.

[@brigidtheirish]

A lot of Halloween 'tricks' are vandalism. Including TPing someone's yard or house. While it's a far sight better than shooting bb guns at someone's windows (my parents live a block from the local elementary and high school, it's happened) kids *should* be made to clean up the messes they cause regardless of size or severity.

[@jacegallagher8589]

Story 1: NTA. This is yours and fiancée's wedding and you can hire whoever you want. Also, it is tasteless to steal the spotlight from your sibling on their wedding day.

[@dr.pewpew2619]

Story 2: the miscarriage was 6m prior. That woman needs some serious help if she's still this far off her rocker. Also, sounds like OPs mom is enabling her descent.

[@Emily-ck9ji]

Unfortunately, story 1.5 (?) with the young flower girl: she's turned her daughter into a service animal. It's not okay. She needs to go to therapy and stop relying on her daughter to "fix" her. She's going through a state of grief and I genuinely feel bad for her, but she can't force her pain onto others in this way. It's not healthy for anyone involved.

[@zrexxylofan8905]

I agree with you it’s not healthy for anyone but I’m gonna say in this instance they needed help with anxiety and I’m surprised that Husband didn’t decide to stay anxiety is not something to be taken lightly and I doubt him choosing to go to a party helped with it

[@zerobolt9506]

I agree, but did it say howling ago OP lost the baby, if it had been a short time before this wedding then there asking to much of someone who just lost a baby excepting them to not be afraid of losing the other 2 kids too.

[@fionaeckert4556]

@@zerobolt9506 I think the story said she lost the baby in January, so about half a year ago if the wedding was in summer.

[@fionaeckert4556]

@@zrexxylofan8905 well he didn't really "choose to go to a party", he was part of the groomsmen. As horrible as anxiety might be, the mother can't hold her girl ransom. He could have looked after HIS daughter while attending the wedding.

[@zrexxylofan8905]

@@fionaeckert4556 I agree with you on almost everything. “he did not choose to go to the wedding” he still did even if he was a groomsman and I will say that he is not a good partner imo

[@jaywan5553]

Story 2 - YTA. I have severe anxiety and work in mental health, and if you couldn’t go that’s one thing, but denying your husband taking your daughter is not good and flat out controlling and manipulative. For you and for your daughter.

[@Russman67]

It's interesting that she wanted money to perform at the wedding. I mean OP wasn't asking her band to play. In fact from the outset he and his fiance were cool to the idea AT BEST. But to have expected it to go from "I'll sing at your wedding" to "Why would you want to give your money to a stranger instead of me?" really seems to have skipped a few steps in the process.

[@brigidtheirish]

Yeah. Sounds like this was the *first* mention of this being a paid gig and I'm surprised OP didn't make a bigger deal out of it.

[@mztweety1374]

If I had even a modicum of talent I would not be charging to sing at a siblings wedding. It will be my gift to them because I hate shopping LOL

[@brigidtheirish]

@@mztweety1374 Agreed.

[@jodieg6318]

Story 2: do you know what happens to kids whose parents make them their emotional crutch? At best they cut out the parent for turning them into an emotional support animal and at worst they become people pleasers that get abused and taken advantage of because they think they are responsible for the feelings of people they care about. Source: my mother leaned on me emotionally since I was 5 and I found myself in problematic situations for years till I managed to get some self reflection and putting myself out there for selfish people.

[@carolsimpson4422]

Or one can vascillate between people pleasing and justified resentment that causes raving outbursts. Then one feels so guilty about it that one goes back to people pleasing 😂 🤷‍♀️ If I didn't laugh I'd never stop crying.

[@Bunny_Gee]

Weaponized mental illness never ends well. See a psychiatrist, get some meds and therapy and stop making it everyone else’s problems.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 1: NTA it's OP's wedding and they can do what they want. Not only that, but asking to be paid after OFFERING her services as a non-professional. Her insistence just makes her seem spoiled and feels entitled to get what she wants.

[@robertx8020]

This After this I would need to think hard to invite her at all because I wouldn't put it past her to just go on stage anyway and starting to sing and OP would be called the AH for trying to stop her! And after that she would send you the bill!

[@AndyyWithAY]

The daughter wasn't going off with strangers, the husband was literally in the wedding. She needs to get in therapy immediately her behavior is not healthy. She is using her anxiety as a crutch

[@Mewse1203]

Story 5: NTA I'm surprised OP gave her as many chances. I'd have fired her after the 2nd time she didn't do what was asked and inviting people around. This person is a certified professional. She didn't say she needed a mental health day, she lied to go have fun. There is a big difference in those two situations. I think the biggest issue is that she fired her in public while out with her kids. She ruined both her day and her own kids day. That said, OP ripped off the band aid and that's fine.

[@brigidtheirish]

OP's friends need a kick in the pants from reality, as do Marie's friends. Marie should've been fired after the third strike at the *latest.* The location is a bit of an issue, but OP *did* pull her aside and this kind of violation definitely calls for an immediate response.

[@alexo6200]

Story 3: as a woman who plays a lot of dnd, yes, a dm is very important, and they’re hard to replace. But the dm also sets the tone of the campaign. Sounds like they’d be better off replacing Chris anyway. Edit: I wrote that before getting to the comments. Hearing actually was a bad dm was satisfying

[@Davimez]

Hope op makes an update with them leaving and making their own group

[@kitsunekyubi9358]

YUP!!!!!

[@brigidtheirish]

Also, in the first incident with the vodka, did Chris assume the vodka belonged to the *fiance* rather than OP? Why? Because OP's a woman? Not all women just drink those fruity, technicolor drinks that are probably more syrup than alcohol, you know. I've got a bottle of cheap brandy I mostly use as cough syrup. I've also had vodka (stuff *really* clears the sinuses!), gin, and several other hard drinks. Prefer them to beer, honestly. Speaking of cheap, Chris has some nerve calling *OP* cheap and an alcoholic when *he's* the one *stealing* shots from a $50 bottle.

[@reginarainer9740]

No DnD is better than Bad DnD. And I LOVE playing DnD.

[@starbird3939]

@@brigidtheirish Granted. The “girly” drinks at the bar are often made with more alcohol than a can of beer.

[@nvfury13]

Story 3: As somebody who has been “around the table” since the 80s, and DMing since the 90s, this story hurts. Getting an AH for a DM can ruin the game forever, even for people not playing.

[@ShatoraDragondore]

Story 2: Amazing how when legal action is hinted at, people who know they fucked up back down and agree to make things right.

[@catandrobbyflores]

That dungeons and dragons story sounds like it should also be in r/dndhorrorstories. I and my husband host our weekly dungeons and dragons game at our place and this behavior isn't tolerated. Chris was definitely using his status as Dungeon Master (person who runs the game) to get away with whatever he wanted. Nta and if hubby and other players don't like him being kicked out they can find somewhere else to play.

[@supergeeky7529]

yeah Crit Crab needs to read this!

[@abbilashay5255]

In my opinion, this should go into the JustNOSO subreddit. The financé is such a doormat. I would have been a bitch at the beginning and snatch it from Chris and banned him at first stop and then have a long talk with the spineless little boy I am soon to marry.

[@reginarainer9740]

@@supergeeky7529 Or Drake. They both do DnD aita posts though so we may see one or the other cover it.

[@elkevermeulen7343]

Dnd story: besides the DnD part, and that he's a bad DM, the gall of this guy to be a guest in someone's home, stealing expensive alcohol from them and then insulting them

[@icantchange.youtubesaysine7338]

People: Chill Mark: F off! The most English/British thing I’ve heard lol.

[@mindyschocolate]

Wedding flower girl story: I get OP is struggling, but when it affects other people’s lives, it makes you the AH. Kids aren’t meant to be your solution to your mental health.

[@brigidtheirish]

*Agreed.* She's not letting *any* of her girls out of her sight? Those poor children! The poor daughter who was supposed to be flower girl! The poor bride who had a *unique* member of her bridal party drop out *last minute* because of this woman's apparently untreated anxiety and paranoia! *I* have anxiety! Also acrophobia. While I get horribly nervous seeing my niece climb things, I avoid keeping her from doing so while I'm babysitting unless there are *clear* reasons to. *OP* is the one who needs to read up on mental health!

[@nixxyhasthoughts]

I still think it’s ESH. She’s made a bad choice due to her MH. At the same time the bride calling her and screaming/calling her a bitch is WAY over the top. Then for the husband to AGREE with his wife being abused when she’s already obviously struggling is just heinous.

[@brigidtheirish]

@@nixxyhasthoughts lol You think OP's being *abused* because the bride yelled at her for pulling her daughter out last second? You think the husband was *wrong* to suggest he could take *their* daughter to the wedding and out from dear smother's grasp?

[@psyolytesaille]

@@brigidtheirish He called her a bitch by proxy, he lost credibility after that imo. There's tough love and then there's being disrespectful, and that was disrespectful af.

[@brigidtheirish]

@@psyolytesaille Call a duck a duck.

[@brachiosaurus6350]

Story 3: I wonder if daughter was the only flower girl and I’m also getting the vibe that that bride paid for the flower girl dress and accessories

[@mysterylovescompany2657]

Story 1: Holy shit, she wasn't even going to make a _gift_ of her performance? Unbelievable. The absolute nerve.

[@patriciaw1137]

As someone who plays a lot of D&D: there's no way in hell a DM like Chris in Story #3 is any good at what he does. DMing is all about being able to listen to other people and create a good atmosphere for them. Their group lost nothing.

[@Roedygr]

SINGING : relatives who sing at weddings invariably have a vastly exaggerated evaluation of their talent. The performance is usually cringeworthy.

[@sagesaria]

Story 3: As a D&D player: Chris is absolutely That Guy. Yes, DMs can be That Guy too. It'll suck to not have that campaign anymore, but they can always find another DM. Especially since it sounds like he sucked as a DM.

[@1911odisea]

Story 4: I find it really, really bizarre that Marie wasn't fired a long time ago.

[@kimmurphy6621]

Flower girl story- YTA. I think too many people are hung up on NTA because they think the bride is entitled. OP is still the AH regardless because OP made her daughter stay home because of her own issues, that is NOT right. She needs therapy, shes holding her family back by doing things like this.

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

Halloween story in Spain: NOPE well done to OP for doing what he did! Took until mentioning the cops for the idiot parents to go "uh oh", but hey... those kids needed a figurative boot up their backsides and their parents by proxy. ETA: Since I near forgot about the kids watching the egging a car in a movie and wanted to try it. So... if they wanted saw the scene from say... I don't know... Terminator 2 with John Conner running away from a truck on a motorbike and the stunts in that scene? Or even the Jack*** stunts would they attempt them too? Lord all mighty.

[@420Witchling]

Lmao that last story; of course her friends are going to call you an AH. They don’t understand why lying, sneaking friends over, and barely taking care of the children (even barely is a stretch) would be grounds to be fired 🤦🏻‍♀️ No, you’re not an AH- you’re a protective mother. Good job being a mum!

[@tianarose3085]

story 4: stepmum was a nanny for a very rich couple (husband was the cfo and coo of a large cinema group and wife was a veryyyyy successful lawyer) and nanny’s are supposed to care for the kids when the parents aren’t home while still abiding by the parents rules. that means feeding them what the parents have asked, and light housekeeping is usually expected. they don’t expect you to scrub the floors but tidying after the kids (and yourself!?) is bare minimum. you’re a nanny, not a babysitter.

[@wijsman6250]

Story 3: NTA, No DnD is better then bad DnD. But my god who has the absolute gall to walk into someone else's house as a guest and just drink their alcohol without consent? I would throw this man out for disrespecting my house, my possessions and partner in such a manner.

[@jemase7931]

Chris is an AH. Disrespecting you in your own house is outrageous. OP's big mistake was not taking the vodka away and pouring it down the sink the first time he stepped out of line.

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

Nope! NTA! If she keeps it up, don't let her attend - your wedding, not hers! Bug off!

[@ShatoraDragondore]

Story 3: Fellow DnD player. Toxic DMs can be an even bigger problem then toxic players because "It's harder to replace them." NTA at all Chris was a guest first DM second and subject to all the same rules as the others at the table. I hope the group finds a way to keep their campaign going with out Chris. OP didn't say it was a Homebrew (something Chris made up from the ground up) so it would just mean buying the settings book and augmenting from the last session.

[@liabowden8526]

A part of me is fervently wishing for OP to decide to try taking over as dm (after a Lot of research! 💚) and discover they love it, 😅 🤷‍♀️

[@AndyyWithAY]

Title story the wedding is about you and your spouse. You don't have to have a reason to not let X person do Y, especially if sister is an attention hog as stated in the post. NTA

[@JayeEllis]

Story 4: NTA - Calling in sick is a privilege reserved for (wait for it) being sick! If you need a personal day, ask for that. Otherwise, you committed to being at your job, so be there. This was a culmination of all the problems, and her irresponsibility cost her job. You are paying for a service, and she agreed to fulfill it. You didn't ask her to hide a body, just do the job she was hired to do, in the manner her employer expects.

[@Undomaranel]

As a certified nerd: The DM (Dungeon Master, sometimes a GM/ Game Master) is like the narrator in a movie or story. The players have their own characters who do a "choose your own adventure" in the world the DM runs, with dice rolls determining any math for combat or if an action succeeds or fails. It's like playing pretend as a kid, but the DM is the referee/ bed time story teller. Quick, short example: DM: You and your party (group of characters) are sitting around the campfire. Roll a perception check (do you see/ hear/ perceive anything). Player: (rolls dice) 5 DM: 5 is a low roll, you don't hear the werewolf creep up on you.. and it attacks! (rolls) 23 Player: 23 is higher than my armor rating, am I bit? DM: (rolls) They deal 13 bite damage and (rolls) you are cursed. Player: NOOOOOOOO!!!!1 After they deal with the werewolf in any manner of ways (they could fight it, they could trap it, they could run away, or as the trope goes they could seduce it in hopes of returning it to human form and learning something, all up to the imagination and dice), they then decide what else to do. Without the DM the game cannot go on. Someone else needs to step up and be the one running the monsters and the map and the world the players interact with, or stop the campaign (the overarching story they're playing) and start a different one. To me it sounds like sexist DM was abusing his privilege. He knew the players would be afraid to stop him, because he knew they couldn't play without him. It's good OP knocked him off his high horse. DM'ing isn't easy, but it's far better not to play with toxic people in the first place. (Shout out to Crit Crab for his D&D story readings. He's like Mark but with D&D reddit style stories.)

[@supergeeky7529]

Exactly. The DM is important as fuck but it doesn't mean he gets to be a raging dick! and Crit Crab kicks ASS!!!!

[@lorifiedler13]

I played w a horrible dm. He lifted his campaigns directly from the Saturday morning cartoon show. Ruined the element of surprise. Also played with an excellent dm. Always lots of fun. And unpredictable.

[@ashlaraque4135]

She should’ve fired the nanny a long time ago. I started babysitting at 13 years old and eventually I became a nanny by the time I was 19 and pre-school teacher at 20. That type of stuff should never be allowed and I was surprise she didn’t fire her earlier.

[@dracawyn]

Story 3: as an avid D&D nerd, yes, they would probably have to start a whole new game, unless they were playing a module. But even then, one of the players would have to give up their character in order to run the game for everyone else. That said, absolutely not the AH. There's a common saying in the D&D community: "no D&D is better than bad D&D" and a DM like that is just a plethora of horror stories waiting to happen. He's literally stealing your crap because he feels like it. He's taking advantage of your husband's awkwardness and also trying to bowl over you because you're a woman. This is one of those DMs with control issues that starts power tripping. Do not let him back in your house. If the group still wants to play with this douche canoe, someone else can host.

[@brigidtheirish]

A player wouldn't necessarily have to give up his character. Since it was just Dad and me, then later one of my sisters, playing, Dad basically ran several characters who would otherwise be PCs. It takes balancing and careful management, but it can be done.

[@liabowden8526]

Bad D&D

[@beautybard]

S2:: HELL YEAH THE PUNISHMENT FITS. I'm with the last comment. My parents would've made me done what the OP asked for without them even asking AND I would've face much more privately. Knowing this as a kid, I never even DARED to do anything like that because my parents instilled kindness in me from a young age. Without knowing the scientific angle of egging a car, I knew it would need to be cleaned, and if I did the egging and ran, it would be on the car/home owner.... And that's not nice. That's what most of my lessons boiled down to.

[@toysruskid5074]

It makes it all the worse knowing that it causes permanent damage knowing what my sister and her friends did as a teenager. No wonder the neighbors hated us everywhere we went no matter how hard I worked to clean up after her crapstorms.

[@D123-f9k]

There was enough grounds to fire the nanny BEFORE she was even caught in her lie.

[@brodericksiz625]

Story 3: NTA. As a long date Dungeon Master myself, Chris was majorly out of line. Being a DM is a position of responsibility in a D&D game, and with responsibility also comes a degree of authority, but some bad DMs forget that said authority only exists within the bounds of the game and should NEVER leave the bounds of the game. If he overextends his authority beyond the bounds of the game, chances are he's a DM with an ego, and it's frankly for the best if they manage to find a different DM without the attitude, because a DM on an ego trip is a disaster waiting to happen, a ticking time bomb for drama. It sucks having to interrupt a campaign for any reason, but this kind of drama in the making should be ended early, before it has a chance to ruin the experience for everyone.

[@livewellwitheds6885]

couldn't aggree more! a dm is essential, but at the same time a bad dm is not needed and should be replaced. if a DM is ruining the game, it's time to change things! it does take a lot of time and effort to learn how to run a campaign, but I'd rather have a novice run a basic module than a seasoned DM with an attitude problem.

[@TheMimiSard]

Story 2 - Yes, eggs damage car paint. When I was a teen, we were at a big church camp, and there were some bratty kids around who egged Mum's car. The paint ended up crazing.

[@RevWarRev]

Story 1: NTA. So Sister no only id demanding to sing, she even insists she's gonna be paid for it!?! I'd warn the DJ or band she cannot have the mic under ANY circumstances!

[@starbird3939]

Story 4 - NTA Even before the edit, This was my decision. The fact she was 26 and has a degree a child care makes it all the more valid. She has shown how irresponsible she is with kids: feeding them whatever without the parents know-how (what if she fed them an allergen?), inviting strangers over, leaving messes and letting kids leave messes-my friend walked out of a daycare that had workers like this, and that daycare got investigated and is in legal hot water.

[@stepgamerdad]

Story 3:As an avid D&D-Player myself (mostly as DM) Chris' behavior was out of line, DM or not, and OP was right to call him out on his shitty behavior. If one of my players ever acted like that in my house, I would not play with them again.

[@pyewacketpeggy8329]

I grew up in Chicago. Eggs are the worst on cars and wrecks up the paint. Same for the houses. If we did that we would have our butts kicked.

[@dueldr]

“Mental health is not an excuse to behave like an asshole.” Truer words never spoken

[@SaintSparky]

Imagine paying someone $14 and $25 an hour to watch your children, and they're doing a bad job, id fire them on their birthday

[@JayeEllis]

Story 2: As someone who has had my car damaged by an egging, you did the right thing. Pranks do not cause damage, vandalism does. They're lucky you didn't involve the police.

[@Its_like_the_T-Rex]

I'm from Canada, we all trick or treat but I've never seen TP or eggs on anyone's house. There is a decorum and societal rule that you respect people's property ignore the houses that aren't participating and have a fun night.

[@trainerlesseevee478]

Who the hell takes something without asking IN SOMEONE ELSES HOUSE?! DM or not that's a no go. He's probably a neck beard jerk anyway

[@SynDaKit.]

I was in DnD and we offered for the DM to not bring anything and he always insisted on bringing something. He told us yes he figured out our campaigns, but that was what he chose to do. He was friend and group mate first, DM second.

[@OmniscientlyMe]

4. Why did they like her? She doesn't sound like a good nanny. Anyone I know would have fired her immediately upon discovering she had people over without prior approval.

[@Treveyon2010]

My guess is all her qualifications and past positive reviews.

[@lorifiedler13]

Chris can come back when he apologizes and gives OP a new bottle of vodka. He also isn't allowed anything that wasn't brought by the group. One slip up and he's out forever. Husband needs to enforce this.

[@xientau9028]

Story 3: Absolutely NTA, the DM's authority only stretches as far as the table. I actually know a girl whose DM tried to do something similar to what Chris did; he was acting all big and tough, and kept trying to open a bottle of scotch she kept in the back of a cabinet. The third time he actually got the bottle open and was about to pour himself a glass when she actually smacked him with a fryingpan and chased him out of the apartment. Turns out it was a 50 year old whiskey she'd been saving as a present for her father's 50th birthday a month later. OP is definitely NTA, if the agreement is "BYOB" then stick to your own bottle unless permission is given!

[@suzieseabee]

My brother got his semi vandalized. He got a hold of the kid and made him clean that truck Marine style for hours.

[@writer4life724]

Story 3: The vodka is where it all went wrong. No one should take from anyone without consent, DMs included. NTA, but that guy should at least pay to compensate for the pricey drink he was essentially stealing.

[@RPGPaenda]

Story 3: lmao.... Chris is just an asshole, I hope OP's fiance or one of his other party members is able to come up with a good campaign. Hell, if she even wants to, she can at least help come up with ideas for a very basic story. Glad she and the fiance don't really have to worry about Chris anymore and his terrible campaign. NTA.

[@BelebayChan]

With our dnd group, we have a help yourself to basic food rule. Used to be sandwiches, but one was diagnosed celiac, so now if he wants to throw potatoes in the microwave, he can go for it. Anything beyond that, and bottled water, they ask. Usually if they're hungry, we'll do a group order. Can't imagine someone just helping themselves to booze of all things.

[@jerrystauffer2351]

Egging car is felony vandalism. It can eat the finish and cost thousands in damage and it needs to be done immediately.

[@sameerkatte4895]

Now that I think about it, Mark would the kind of guy who would give out Stroopwafels to trick-or-treaters.

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

NOPE! If that woman wanted that job she should have stepped up and did what was expected. As someone who is once again studying in the Early Childhood Education field and have children of my own, there is A LOT of expectations when dealing with not only the children, but their parents - who come with the package. This woman is not fit to be a Nanny, she's better off being in a centre or similar. I wouldn't want a Nanny like that caring for my children, and if I were the Nanny, I would be making sure that junk food is the last thing on the minds of the young clients and my phone would be accessible, but out the way, (meaning my mind is on the task, not checking up the latest KZbin clips or whatever else, I would do that during break time, with the exception of emergency).

[@jerrystauffer2351]

Anxious mom doesn't care what daughter wants. Is she even planning to let her go or will they go to the nursing home together? Daughter is just a prop in her drama

[@James-sq4sc]

Eggs are actually really difficult to get up if they dry. It’s a nightmare

[@JUMALATION1]

Story 3: I play DnD frequently and stuff like this pisses me off. If the DM helps himself to your own liquor, especially if you're not even in the party and just allowing him in your home for a session, you are soooo not the asshole here. I "tour houses" for our sessions and only help myself to some ice water or occasionally some snacks if a fellow party member offers them. I wouldn't dream of raiding their liquor cabinet unless specifically offered. My fiancé DM's and at his brother's (my future BIL's) house, he asks for nothing in return. Chris is a plain ol' dick here.

[@G_de_Coligny]

Agreed. But water / icewater is a mandatory no-question asked requirement for the dm...

[@kimmurphy6621]

DnD story- NTA. Its too bad the whole group didn’t stick up for her and shake off the fact they lost DM and just play board games or something that night. Was glad to hear that after the fact the group seems to be agreeing he may not be right for them.

[@Weirdandwonderfull19]

Story 3- the Halloween one. This actually hits a personal note. My best friend has a severe egg allergy, and raw eggs will trigger anaphylactic shock! She doesn't have to touch the egss, just being in close proximity to raw egg can make her very poorly! Raw eggs can kill! Absolutely right the little brats should have consequences, it's vandalism and also potentially life threatening. ETA... Sorry I got really annoyed there. I worry about my friend a lot at this time of year due to idiots throwing eggs around.

[@brigidtheirish]

Precisely. Kids need to learn there are consequences for their actions. In my grandparents' day, some kids at the high school found a skunk in the woodpile. They needed to get it out of there and one teenaged genius got some dynamite from his truck. Not sure how much, but it was enough to take out the skunk, the woodpile, and most of the paint on that side of the school. Didn't take long for adults to get on the scene and determine what happened. The kids had to repaint the school.

[@SLTheOneAndAwesome19]

Story 1 - NTA. My step-brother's SIL is a professional singer. She sang one song dedicated to the bride and groom. She didn't want to be the entertainment- she wanted to enjoy the party 🤣

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

STORY 1: NTA, this gives off “my guest’s plus one is demanding her daughter should be the flower girl” vibes. Just because sister is in a band that does it mean OP’s wedding is a guaranteed gig for her to perform at. If she has a habit of stealing the spotlight and trying to be the center of attention then it’s understandable why 0P won’t want her to work at her wedding. At the end of the day it’s not the sisters wedding.

[@brigidtheirish]

Especially that bit about her complaining that OP would rather pay a stranger than her, so she was expecting to be *paid* for this in addition to taking the spotlight.

[@huinismith]

3:03 Am I the only one that visualised that hypothetical Instagram post? 🤣🤣🤣 Oh, and sister trying to hijack the mic? I could see that too, LOL.

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

STORY 2: it sounds like 0P has turned her kid into an emotional support animal. I get that she suffered a loss and is in a stage of grieving, but she needs to stop using her kids as basically security blanket & anxiety as a crutch to help her cope with her grief. I have anxiety too and Opie is using it as a crutch. You don’t bring up anxiety as an excuse to get out of doing something. The father offered to take the daughter along since Opie did not want to go to the wedding, but she said no like a child that didn’t want to share a toy. You shouldn’t let your anxiety rule your entire life and dictate what you can/can’t do. OP needs therapy to overcome their grief and deal with anxiety. If Opie does not snap out of this and continues to behave like this to keep her daughter close when she gets older, the daughter is going to feel smothered and want to move out of the house as quick as possible. That is unless OP plays the “you’re abandoning me when I need you the most“ card and other type of emotional manipulation to try to keep the daughter with her.

[@syblesolesbee8513]

I have had 3 miscarriages. I also had depression. But I never reach a point where I denied letting my daughter do things especially when her father would be with her. I know many women who have miscarriages and none did anything like this. Whatever is going on with OP isn't due to what she is saying.

[@bloonh8tr619]

The only thing scarier than the spooky community drawing (great work to the ops of the art) is the entitlement of some people. Screw people who steal attention and are narcissistic

[@jessicapalmer3455]

Story 2: The punishment fits the crime PERFECTLY. It was neither too much nor too little.

[@jessymonster]

Story 2: she should have pulled out WAY before because what she did was a colossal AH move.

[@SherlocksLeftNipple]

Story 3: If the group is cool with Chris being an openly bigotted thief IRL, they can kindly piss all the way off. People like that are not worth being friends with. I hope OP's fiancée learned that it's better to have no friends than let assholes walk all over him just to avoid being lonely - because I don't see that relationship lasting, if he lets this kind of shit slide again in the future.

[@skyetan86]

No, no, no, no. If you have anxiety, YOU go and fix that with a therapist. You DON'T pull your kid put of an experience they would have gained from. Why are you punishing your child for your anxiety??

[@HitchcockJohn]

I can confirm that the DM is kinda crucial to a DND game, since they're the ones telling the story and creating the world that the players interact with. Without a DM there's no story for the players. That said, it sounds like Chris wasn't going to be a great DM anyway. Open misogyny is usually a red flag. If you're curious about what kinds of problems come from a DM like Chris, you might want to look into r/rpghorrorstories. There are several KZbinrs who read stories from it. It involves a lot of stories that have people like Chris both as players and DMs, and they tend to make a lot of trouble for their games.

[@Tammohawk1]

3. NTA If Chris could have maintained some type of civility he wouldn't have been kicked out. But no, he had to be an intrusive and greedy jerk. I love D & D, introduced it to my kids and former students, but no one has to deal w/that. Time for hubby to learn how to DM. (DM = Dungeon Master who leads the campaign)

[@janglesthearsonist5265]

Story 2: If the neighbor's kids do whatever they see in movies then I'd hate to see the neighborhood after they see Seven or Saw! If they see any Fast and Furious kind of movie then are they going to learn to hot wire a car. The only hope is for a movie about the Menendez Brothers to release!

[@katie6731]

Story 2: "Chill man, they saw [egging a car] in a movie and they wanted to try it." Well, then they should've tried it on their parents' cars, since the parents think it's so funny. 🤷‍♀️

[@fhuber7507]

1... NTA. Bride and groom decide what if any entertainment will be at their wedding. Sis can stuff it.

[@fhuber7507]

2... YTA.

[@fhuber7507]

Halloween story... NTA. File a police report.

[@fhuber7507]

D&D story. NTA. Ban Chris from the house. He has no respect for boundaries. As an over 40 year D&D player and DM Chris is not worth the time or aggravation. Also, its usually not a good idea to mix drinking and D&D. If the players volunteer to provide food for the DM, I appreciate it. I don't demand it.

[@fhuber7507]

Firing the babysitter... NTA. Multiple warnings and repeated disrespect of basic rules. Should have been fired earlier. Immediate and at time of catching her in the lie was appropriate.

[@peggypillers9014]

Story 3: I love D&D and I would never stay in a group with someone who treats another person that way. So unacceptable. The fact any of those people still play with him is baffling

[@kaykay8855]

Story 1: NTA. You said that you and your fiancé were going to think about it, and you said no. Make sure that she can’t take away the microphone 🎙 away from the DJ. Story 2: I wanted to say NTA but your anxiety shouldn’t affect your daughters. I sorry about your miscarriage but I bet your daughter was looking forward to being a flower girl. Again op, your daughter isn’t not your emotional support animal. Story 3: NTA. Don’t apologize, and honestly I would just call the police since you have video evidence. Story 4: your husband’s friend is TA for acting like an entitled man-child. Tell your fiancé that, Chris isn’t allowed in our house if he’s gonna disrespect you and your stuff in your house. Story 5: NTA. Honestly you should have fired her when she didn’t follow your rules, plus now she proved to you that she’s a liar. Tell your friends that she’s not a child, she was given too many chances.

[@dm9078]

OP’s wedding OP’s choice! No is complete sentence! NTA! YTA and the flower girl is their daughter. Get help before the husband decides he has had enough! NTA! Eggs on a car will damage the paint! Firing her was the only proper response! NTA! Mid twenties and behaving that way!

[@Roedygr]

HALLOWEEN : The kids learned about Halloween in a movie. They learned the usual rules against vandalism are suspended. In countries like Canada where Halloween is big, nobody eggs cars. "trick or treat" is just a traditional greeting, not a threat. Householders signal non-participation by turning out their porch lights. They did not learn this from the movie. When I was a kid I thought Halloween was more fun than Christmas. I predict it will become popular in Spain too. My take is the kids were naive, not malicious. The important thing to understand is if you damage something (accidentally or intentionally) you are responsible for setting it aright even if you thought vandalism was OK. You did the right thing, though with too much drama.

[@davidkristahay]

Excuse me, I’d like the name of the movie in which egging a car is deemed an acceptable Halloween trick?! If eggs are left on the vehicle, it can dull/ruin the clear coat and require a full repaint. I live in the American Midwest, and kids who do this are literally taking a risk. Many homes have openly armed owners who ADORE their vehicles. Not cool.

[@vanguardangel6912]

Story 3: He’s waving all the red flags of not just a bad dude but a bad DM! No bad DMs allowed!

[@livewellwitheds6885]

second story 1... that daughter will have some MAJOR issues if she will never be allowed to leave her mother's sight because of her anxiety. the mom is basically using her kids as emotional support animals. if op aggreed to this, she should have followed through OR cancelled it much earlier. she needs real psychological help. if the issue was the daughter can't leave op, couldn't op go too? can't she trust her husband? also its "just a flower girl" lmao those are pretty important YTA

[@tennesseedogpack]

Story Three: DMs don’t normally bring snacks. It’s like talking on a part time job if you’re good at it

[@AuroraDracoSpeed]

DM here and I can say, that DM in story 3 can kick rocks! I would have my players come to my home and they would help me cook. Not that common but we would play for a long time and it was a lot of fun but I would buy drinks and food for my players. They sometimes brought things too. And if we had to have a game at a different house, guess what? I didn't go through their stuff asking if I could have it. I still brought stuff to cook.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: I think she gave herself away a bit when her first thing to get upset about is that they're going to be paying someone who isn't her. If you genuinely want to perform because it's fun and you want to help the bride and groom cut back on expenses then that's one thing but she's purely trying to perform at her brother's wedding so she can steal the attention and get paid to do it.

[@jpbaley2016]

S2: NTA. OP admits that her anxiety has become severe. Anxiety is not controllable. It has nothing to do with trust. She doesn’t owe the friend anything. The commenters are tripping by saying she’s treated daughter as a service animal or dumping responsibility on her young daughter. Until, OP gets the help she needs, let her keep her daughters close. S3 - kids are definitely the AH’s. It’s one thing TPing the house or ding dong ditch. Those tricks don’t cause damage. Eggs do. Eggs can damage the paint. Throwing eggs is never acceptable. Parents are the biggest AH’s and the parents should have paid for things because it’s their fault their kids are AH’s.

[@LoveableNiki]

Story 2: NTA. I agree that OP needs therapy. However, at the time, OP was not getting any. Whatever OP was going through it was not easy for her to have her daughter out of her sight. The aftereffects of miscarriage can lead to one holding tighter to the children that are alive. OP needs more compassion and support. It is unfortunate that this affected the wedding.

[@mauistrife2567]

The dude that Made the goblings to clean the car is a f-ing BOSS.

[@yourmom69179]

"Chris" is the AH!! If I was OP, my husband would have beat the brakes off him!!

[@civivva4501]

Careful sister doesn’t do an impromptu ‘special song’. OP needs to have someone ready to cut the power at the wedding.

[@theconfusedvampire]

Story 2: NTA Getting tricked isn't even a normal part of Halloween anymore! Throwing eggs or toliet paper is just seen as some teenagers breaking the law for fun on that day, delinquents and criminals.

[@kbf9644]

Let the attention seeker sing as a part of the ceremony? That would worse. It’s bad to be upstaged at your reception. It’s far worse to be upstaged at the wedding!

[@starbird3939]

Story 3 - NTA DND player here. DM only has control of the game, not control over someone else’s house. If the host has specific rules about the house and its contents, everyone and the Dm needs to respect them and the people who live in the house. Not only did he steal something from you, but he also disrespected you greatly by being sexist. He deserved to be booted out. They can either have the game at a different spot or find a more respectful DM.

[@HealingSpectrumIntuition]

NTA I would have screamed at her that she was fired.