Fawn Response in Anxious Preoccupied

Christian Marriage coach
Attachment focused coach
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[@artistocracy]

Great explanation, Leslie. Thank you! ✝️💟🇦🇺

[@cecilang9721]

It’s real! I had childhood abuse and shut myself off from feelings and relationships after I had a few bad experiences as a teen. Now I’m 50 and trying a relationship for the first time. And unfortunately it’s with someone who turns out to be a dismissive avoidant. And when we had our first fight, after the first minute when I stood up for myself, I immediately felt panicked fear and started apologizing, offering to do whatever they wanted if only they would forgive me, tried to say forget about the whole thing, please don’t leave me. They weren’t even that angry nor did they say they were leaving me. To be clear I had not done anything wrong but I found out a secret that they didnt want me to know. But my fawn response was crazy next level. Only afterwards kid I say, omg what just happened. I don’t do that at work, don’t do that with my friends, apparently though in a romantic relationship I am so very afraid of appearing needy, of speaking up for myself. I wanted to dig a hole and crawl into it the second I spoke up. That definitely is a childhood trauma survival response. I would get punished immediately for expressing any feelings or needs.

[@ally2496]

Thanks for the great explanation. Could you do a video going deeper on how the FA handles conflict? And how to work with a FA partner to prevent or deescalate conflict or if you are the FA strategies for communicating needs & boundaries early on to prevent resentment build up and fears.

[@JSath]

Fight or flight, freeze, fawn and what is the 4th?

[@LeslieWells-connectioncoach]

You’ve got them all: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. People tend to lump fight/flight together but they are different trauma responses.