Female Autistic Traits I DON'T Have | AUTISM IN GIRLS

Hey guys! My name is Olivia Hops and in this week's video I go over 10 Autistic Traits that I do NOT have.
The point of this video is to show you that all autistic people are different, and just because you don't have all of my traits doesn't mean you're NOT autistic. Of course, the flip side is true, too. Just because you have some of my traits doesn't mean you for sure are autistic either. Only a licensed professional or doctor can officially diagnose someone with ASD.
If you have any questions to ask my mom about raising me while (unknowingly) autistic, please leave them down below or email me at [e-mail]!
I'm also going to start coaching and online courses to take to help you live your best life while autistic! If you're interested in that, please let me know below or through email as well!
----10 Autism Traits I DON'T Have--
1. I can understand sarcasm
2. I don't stim very much
3. I wasn't bullied in school
4. I don't have a monotone voice
5. I don't have a lack of imagination
6. I don't need a strict routine
7. I don't organize things repeatedly
8. I don't have bad fine motor skills
9. I'm not obsessed with numbers/math/science
10. I'm not bad at socializing
***Check out 10 Autistic Traits I DO HAVE here: • 10 Female Autistic Tra...
***And here's 10 more traits I also have: • 10 More Female Autisti...
---Last Week's Video: • Autistic Shutdowns | A...
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Thanks for all of your support as always! God Bless you all! 💙
#ActuallyAutistic #AutisticTraits #OliviaHops

[@heathermcnamara]

THANK YOU FOR THIS!! I always said to myself that I “don’t have autism” just because I didn’t have a huge speech delay or never had separation anxiety!! If only this video existed a year ago.

[@OliviaHops]

So glad this could help you!!

[@Snoods]

same... i dismissed it as a possibility because i didn't tick all the published symptoms (in movies and such). Even avoided it the first time my doctor brought it up.

[@Shoonam]

Speech delay is seen in autism, but not Apergers. Now that they joined both categories in a spectrum, speech delay is no longer a diagnostic criterion.

[@mollykins8h]

True same

[@rebeccamay6420]

Having early speech and reading development myself, along with being fairly at ease with socializing (btw: I now recognize the so-called social skills I have are a result of Masking to try to fit in with these odd creatures known as Humans), it hadn't ever occurred to me that I may be on the spectrum. Yet, lo and behold, here I am two years into self-discovery, and I feel understood, even "validated"! I have a lot of traits that fit into the "Aspergers" variety of autism... and chronic PTSD too. ASD is inherited, and I apparently received a genetic double-whammy. Mom has EFGHI traits... Dad has LMNOQ.... one of my sisters has WTH combo.... another sister is GPITA.... 😂 ok... yes, I'm being silly and sarcastic here. What I'm getting at, is that after learning so much about what makes my Au-OS (Autistic Operating System) different from NT, I can now identify several traits in each immediate family member, and we all manifest and manage differently.

[@cindyroett275]

Every autistic person is different. This video makes me feel understood. Thank you.

[@CherryFrog321]

I've been suspecting for awhile now that I have either autism, ADHD, or both. It apparently is fairly common for autistic people to also have ADHD, but of course, they are two separate conditions, and not all autistic people have ADHD and not all of those with ADHD are autistic. The two are just comorbid fairly often. I do feel like I have traits of both and that sometimes they're at war with each other (autism and ADHD do share some similar traits, but then there are also some that seem to be opposite of each other). For example, I always WANT to have a routine and stick to it, but I just can't seem to do it and follow through with my plans. And I love doing tasks where I can sort and categorize things and can really hyperfocus on it, but I also really struggle if I have a time limit because I can't seem to get it done quickly, and my brain can't seem to prioritize tasks and what needs to be done in what order, and how much time I should take on each step. Everything seems important to me at once. Does anyone else relate?

[@alexandraguy2931]

Yes, I relate! I'm diagnosed ADHD and I highly suspect I'm on the autism spectrum.

[@AnnieIce123]

I am diagnosed with ASD and ADHD and you basically described me. I think your on the money! Sounds like executive function issues to me. Also, it’s so common to have conflicting traits like you describe. I crave routine but can’t for the life of me keep one 😂 How to ADHD is an awesome KZbin channel that has current info and easy to digest. Definitely check it out! Also Yo Samdy Sam is great and has both diagnoses as well. So helpful to see her traits and description of the overlap and conflicting parts. 👌☺️

[@JK-ek5jv]

I can! The war of traits. Mom on the spectrum on KZbin made a video about her experience of having both that I think you will really resonate with. I'll see if I can find it to link it here ... It was like a slap in the face for me as I'm new to figuring these things out about myself!

[@JK-ek5jv]

Here's that video! kzbin.info/www/bejne/ZnbCh2qZfNmYq9E

[@mollykins8h]

Yes it is so hard to specify what is really important, in pretty much anything and everything. I try to find what is important for me and I act upon my base values, but I still struggle with basic skills that are important but also kind of repetitively boring. I wish time worked differently than it does. It would be nice to pause everything in the moment so we can truly make the best decisions for OURSELVES

[@nadasabbagh6273]

I think I might be autistic however I can read the emotions and facial expressions of people VERY well. I got almost 100% percent correct results on a facial expression test. That being said I grew up in a domestically violent household and was bullied at school. So, this is maybe a hypervigilant habit in order to feel safe. So who knows.

[@s3xy0n333]

this!

[@cautionhumanbeing749]

Doesn't mean you don't havet Autism. It's the accumulation of things as a whole, not which things you have.

[@sugoiharris1348]

People with childhood trauma also have overlapping symptoms with autism without having autism and several supports also help with both. I work with a lot kids that have childhood trauma and almost all of them have been diagnosed with ADHD and several with autism. That being said, autism and trauma can and do exist together. It’s usually harder to diagnose one when the other is around. My husband had a ton of childhood trauma and we used to think I had some but we could never figure out what. It seems like I’m autistic and he has trauma and we have a lot of overlapping traits.

[@j.o.1262]

i feel this so much! it's like my trauma forced me to read and interpret body language so i would always know when things were about to get bad.

[@tashagee2706]

Just a heads up, I've heard a lot of people talking in Autism videos (search tony attwood - famous top autism doc) about how many autistic people are actually really good at reading a room and how people are feeling and can just 'feel' it, and there are many that are empaths as an example. So def isn't the case that every autistic person cant read people

[@marigoldsky]

You look so pretty Olivia! The 50s era really compliments your natural beauty 🤩 I get super happy when you upload a video and your upbeat personality makes me smile. I feel like we’re soul sisters because we have similar autistic traits and I don’t have those 10 traits you mentioned either 💗

[@OliviaHops]

Aw thanks so much, girl!! I really appreciate your kind comments and all of your support. I'm glad to meet my soul sister 🥰

[@DhhskkHehdis]

There is a autism herbal recommendations I got about dr Oyalo and his herbal remedy has work perfectly on my sons improvements in speech and social skill and my son fine till now

[@danssaddimple9133]

i used to think i couldn't be autistic because i can make eye contact with people 👀 but it's not so black and white as you said!

[@OliviaHops]

Yes! Not so black and white! Which is funny because our brains love to see/think in black and white 😉

[@jamiesmith6296]

I never had an issue with eye contact until now. I mean I can make eye contact but I feel forced and really awkward and it feels cunfusing about when to break away. Is this normal to regress in my late 30's ?

[@Rdani429]

@@jamiesmith6296 yep! As you become more aware of it, it may feel like you’re regressing, but I think it means you’re just noticing it more now even though you always struggled.

[@Ace-ox3hu]

This is me to a T!! I’m currently in the process of getting a diagnosis and constantly doubt myself because of all these traits I don’t have. thank you 😌

[@OliviaHops]

Best of luck in your diagnosis journey!!

[@amyfeap104]

Hello,Olivia!!I'm a Japanese girl and was diagnosed with Autistic few years ago. I was able to learn a from this video,thank you so much for sharing!!🥰 Wishing you all the best and will look forward to the next ones!!😉

[@OliviaHops]

Thank you so much, Aika!! I'm so honored my video could teach you something!! Wishing you all the best yourself! ☺️💙

[@susansaunders249]

Hello! I was diagnosed as a child but we moved around a lot and I never got the support I so desperately needed. I was also labeled "gifted", and my adoptive parents would much rather focus on that. When I had meltdowns they would say, "That's genetic. You have an imbalance. You're autistic". Since I never really knew what that meant, I thought maybe they meant I was "artistic" and, perhaps, too sensitive.

[@DhhskkHehdis]

There is a autism herbal recommendations I got about dr Oyalo and his herbal remedy has work perfectly on my sons improvements in speech and social skill and my son fine till now

[@leanzadoodles5354]

Thanks so much for making this video! I’ve suspected for a long time that I may be autistic but every time I saw the symptoms “takes everything literally” and “can’t understand jokes/sarcasm” I thought there’s no way I could be autistic because I love sarcasm as well. But recently after watching more videos by different autistic people, it just started to make too much sense if I am autistic. I hope to get an official diagnosis in the future, but at the moment I feel like this revelation has already helped me a lot to understand myself. I’m so thankful for all autistic creators for sharing their experience.

[@sweetlolitaChii]

What a beautiful diversity of traits us autistic women have. I have so many of the traits you don't have, but I can heavily relate to your learning and using sarcasm and the dynamic voice tones/pitches. I adapted my voice out of a monotone one after years of being asked "Are you ok? Are you sad/mad/upset?" Matched with that neutral facial expression I'd have. Socializing forced me to change so much of how I'd naturally behave

[@victoriajohnson3034]

My brother was horrifically bullied all thru school. I spent alot of time defending him. Especially from girls. They would even be physical with him because he was raised to not hit girls ever. Good thing i wasn't. Being a girl myself.

[@artwithmamafairybreadd]

I feel very upset about this…it hurts me so much when kids get bullies becuase I know exactly what they are going through…. I’m glad he had you…..how is he today ?

[@OliviaHops]

Kids are the absolute worst. Probably why I never hung out with them and don't want any of my own. You're an amazing sister for having your brother's back. 💙

[@Dayglodaydreams]

Seems like if they hit you, you have the right to hit them, at least until they stop.

[@tallyflower1337]

Very sad. So sorry for him. Said a prayer for him. Thank U for being his defense!

[@strictnonconformist7369]

@@Dayglodaydreamstrue equality and using logic will get you nowhere in such issues, sadly.

[@sylviabarnes5928]

"bruises on my legs and I have no idea how they got there" omg haha relatable

[@KattAndThat]

I've never felt more seen than just now! Especially with strict routine, I have a normal everyday routine and when I'm planning things it needs to be exactly to plan but when time restrictions are in place is hellish and I'm like you in that my anxiety becomes really bad if I HAVE to stick to a strict routine constantly. Thank you so much for posting this, it feels really nice knowing I'm not alone!

[@shadowfox933]

That's mostly how it is for me. I just need to know what to expect; I don't need an "itinerary" for my day to function. I have certain things I do at certain times, but it is always relative to other things in my day (e.g. I always shower first in the morning after I wake up)

[@KattAndThat]

@@shadowfox933 exactly! I have a routine I do everyday where I open my blinds, toilet, breakfast, shower and then I do whatever needs done that day but if the initial routine gets disturbed I’m floored for so long because it’s my literal everyday 😭

[@andreaharmon8931]

@KattAndThat I'm a blind opener too. I've got 15 blinds I open every morning and close every night. To me it sets the tone of "good morning" and "good night" in my own way.

[@KattAndThat]

@@andreaharmon8931 It just makes sense right! If they don't get opened when I wake up I feel sluggish and it stills feels like nighttime!

[@OliviaHops]

You are NOT alone! I'm so honored this video could make you feel so seen. God Bless you, Katt! 💙

[@Nicole-jw5ei]

Have you considered you have comorbid ASD? I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and now looking at comorbid ASD. This video was really helpful as I really do identify with a lot of the traits and while I know autism is a spectrum it's hard not to second guess yourself. As well as a few ADHD and ASD traits cross over and then if you do have both comorbid ADHD/ASD it presents differently to someone with either ASD or ADHD alone.

[@lauraf3208]

Thank you for this! I'm the same with stims, I thought I NEVER stim but I do pick at my face, rub my eyebrows, scratch spots etc a lot, often when I'm bored or not concentrating (particularly bad in my early teens, because I got really oily skin in my teens) and I wondered if it might be a stim but thought mmm I'm not sure... until I saw this. I just guess it didn't seem a normal stim to me... And yes, I am so imaginative! That stereotype that autistic people are terrible at imaginations contributed to me dismissing the idea I'm autistic for so long. I'm the total opposite, I'm really, really really imaginative (photographic memory, imagining characters and scenes vividly and seeing them walking in my head) and my childhood obsession was story writing 😃 but back then sitting at my desk for hours writing just seemed totally ordinary for a girl...

[@lauraf3208]

I will note I still have obsessions! But they have changed over time. Just noting the predominant one I had in childhood was story writing

[@simplyspice7916]

I just recently realized that I used to suck the back of my hand, the skin on my hand (my Knuckles to be exact) and I got made fun of and so then I just started pinching the back of my knuckles with my other hand and I remember getting made fun of for that as well so then I started biting my fingernails and I've bit my finger nails so much that they would bleed and I had no nail bed really. I've stopped biting now that I'm an adult but I do still pinch my skin and rock,and tap, and sing randomly and memorize random things and feverishly research something like "why are lemons yellow"🤪😜

[@Brynnthebookworm]

My current stims are hair twirling, face and cuticle picking, and then the one I do the most often because other people can't see me doing it is repetitive squeezing of my thigh muscles. Sometimes I do other muscle groups as well but the thighs move the least if I'm sitting with legs together so I do them the most. I had other more overt stims when I was young but I changed over time to ones that were less obvious because I kept getting yelled at or made fun of for them. Every one of my report cards from Kindergarten through third grade complained about me "making noises" in class, which was something I did when my mind had wandered. I also used to hand flap when excited but stopped when it was deemed too childish, and I did knuckle cracking but stopped when I started to have pain in my hands due to an unrelated inflammatory issue. I don't recall doing any of the other "classic" stims. What got to me the most though about getting flack for my noises in elementary school is that my husband used to tap songs out on his teeth with his thumbnail and everyone either ignored him doing it or thought it was funny in school. It wasn't super loud but you could still hear it if only the teacher was talking, so why didn't he get in trouble but I did...

[@victoriajohnson3034]

I didn't know clumsy was a symptom. Good to know

[@jeng6786]

Thank you. I'm feeling like we have some things in common. For instance the sarcasm, the big imagination (and love of writing fiction and making worlds and people ), and the schedule thing. I have a hard time with schedules but once set if deviated it can make me spiral and shut down. Edit: a lot of your ' autistic traits you don't have' sound a lot like what I go through with ADHD.

[@OliviaHops]

Thanks for your comment, Jen! That's awesome you love to make up worlds and people, too. It's one of my favorite things to do!

[@corbenhavener7531]

I’m a paper stacker. I’m not organized in the traditional way. I can find all of the important things with no problem and rely on memory in a way that most people can find unsustainable. It probably has something to do with being detail oriented.

[@shadowfox933]

I feel this too. It doesn't "look" organized, but I can find anything I need. Sometimes people think my stuff isn't organized, but it's because I have my own algorithm to sort things

[@OliviaHops]

This is 100% my dad! He has piles of paper EVERYWHERE. Drives my mom nuts lol but he knows exactly where everything is!

[@elivalmon]

Totally, I am super sarcastic and love and understand sarcasm! and I'm definitely autistic .lol

[@Yeodoongiiie]

yeah. i thought i could not be autistic because i could understand sarcasm and pick up allllll subtle clues in facial expression.. because this is what you hear a lot. but turns out i am still autistic. glad i still went and got evaluated.

[@unhingedskrunkly8512]

I love your look! Vintage inspired fashion is one of my special interests😍❤ Fashion in general is my biggest SI and I've seen that clothing can be a huge sensory issue that people on the spectrum deal with. For me, I love wearing skirts and high heels, while jeans, and sneakers are a huge sensory problem for me. Thanks for another great video!

[@andreaharmon8931]

Leggings and skirts for me. I rarely do jeans and if I do they need to have stretch to them. All waistband need to be to the waist or even higher. Can't stand low rise.

[@OliviaHops]

Aw thanks so much!! It's a huge compliment coming from someone who's SI is vintage fashion!! 💙

[@unhingedskrunkly8512]

@@OliviaHops Your so welcome! If you want you could do a fashion video and have a chance to talk about your special interest 😸💖

[@BrandiTV]

YOU ARE SOOO FREAKIN STUNNING!!!!!!!!!! So thankful for all of your hard work, these videos are so helpful, the course idea is brilliant!!!! Love you to pieces GODDESS💕✨

[@cda6590]

You aren't too bad yourself there, bro. First time a makeup tutorial video thumbnail caused me to click. I'm not being weird, I'm just being autistic, FYI.

[@OliviaHops]

Thank you so much, Brandi!! Love you, queen!! So happy and blessed to have you in my life! Your sweetness always makes my day 💙

[@helixmoore7636]

She looks so much like a blue eyed Taissa Farmiga

[@karenwaxman2768]

This is so super relatable, thanks for posting!!!

[@tillytime6849]

I am now obsessed with your channel! I just recently (as in this week) learned I'm Autistic and was recommended to look for youtube stuff. Your videos speak to me so directly! Thank you so much for sharing your personal traits and non-traits and helping me learn more about myself through your experience.

[@knittingbandit8493]

You are such an inspiration, thank you for spreading knowledge and understanding, and for shining a light on our community. I tell my boys it's a gift and that it's super special to be able to think differently and have such detailed focus and memory recall and photographic memory. So many pluses on the spectrum to help balance some of things which can be stressful or hard to cope with. By the way, your hair is lush no matter styled or not and youve natural beauty, make up or none. Thank you for your honesty and typical bluntness, just keep on doing what you're doing as its spot on. I'm sharing you with my kids and my Daddy cause you've encouraged me. Were not alone, God bless you and yours, big hugs and greatest respect from N. Ireland

[@aimehring]

this video is so comforting, thank you so much!! i often get into this negative headspace of heavily doubting myself even though i know i’m most likely autistic just because i don’t have every single one of the traits! it’s super helpful to know that others with autism also don’t have some of the more common traits! :)) (i can’t get an official diagnosis due to financial reasons, so that’s also a source of my self-doubt)

[@christinestromberg4057]

Thank you so much. This has been the most helpful for me. It's so difficult from online articles to get an accurate idea of what autism is. The stereotypical traits are listed as if you have to have all those to be considered autistic. Unfortunately I know little about my childhood, and 35 years ago I developed ME after a virus, so the whole situation is very complex. It's good to know that this kind of variety is a known thing, even if most don't talk about it. And I agree with the former comment, you do look lovely, that hairstyle really suits you.

[@lindagorin-sibner5533]

Love your 50’s look! (& all the great content you bring to these videos). Thanks so much!

[@candacecooper7688]

OMG, THANK YOU SO MUCH!! I'm 55 and self diagnosed a year ago... you my dear are a breath of fresh air. Thank you again.

[@sternentigerkatze]

Your hair looks gorgeous! I really like those 50ies styles, too! This video was very interesting. I have suspected that I am on the autistic spectrum for a while now (starting with aspects of hypersensitivity) and especially the socializing and sarcasm (and in my case strong feelings of empathy) never quite fit into it. Thank you for shedding more light on the different traits and reminding us that everyone is different! :-)

[@coolprzezobciach]

Love the look!!! And thank you for the information! So many women have such doubts based exactly on all kinds of missing symptoms, your list really can help

[@S4mmyS4m]

This is so comforting to me. I only have mild sensory issues and no set in stone routine, but I stim a lot and get really obsessed with my special interests, so knowing that's enough is so good to hear

[@AbolishTheATF]

I’m all for the vintage look 😍 you look amazing in it. I also find sarcasm hilarious but I sometimes don’t understand it 😂 and I do the skin/hair picking too and it’s definitely a stim

[@lauragibbons363]

Thank you so much for your videos, they are really eye opening. I find I'm a bit down after watching them I think coz I relate and I need time to process the information and accept that this is actually me. I've found that I've used some of my traits to my advantage in work since becoming more aware of it all, like being really efficient, direct, getting it done so maybe it's not all bad being like this.

[@andreaharmon8931]

Love your 50's look! I love historical looks and styles. Your clip of your outrageous curly hair! Yep I've been there too. Those curls can turn into awesome hair throughout the week (I don't wash my hair everyday) Thanks for your video! Coaching! You go girl!

[@reannehein]

I love your idea of starting courses to help people! I would definitely invest in those 😊🙏🏻

[@lelafloof]

This is such a good video! My son is actually quite similar to you. He can socialize, doesn't stim often and many of the traits mentioned here he also does not have, but he was diagnosed as autistic cause he had all the other traits. Thank you for sharing these videos as they shine a lot of light on how different every atypical brain can be.

[@JesusIsLoveTR]

Olivia you are a Godsend! Putting yourself on this platform has helped me to learn so much about my 11yr old daughter who is scheduled for an assessment in 2 months. Thank you for being the spokesperson for ASD awareness. You’re loved 💕

[@kaylaschroeder1]

Seriously, this video is ✨GOLD! ✨ And you look gorgeous in this video! 😄Such a cute hairstyle! Thank you. 🌸

[@rebeccahansen371]

Thank you a lot! I'm so touched !! The sarcasm thing did make me so much doubt

[@Nocturnal_Rites]

Love the hairstyle and the color's excellent for you, too! Also, thank you so much for your videos. My daughter is autistic and nonverbal, and it's been SO incredibly tough to find *anything* useful about autism in girls. We do our very best to help her, but it's tough when literally *everything* is geared towards autistic boys, and it just doesn't *fit*.

[@Sing4God87]

Wow, this was hugely validating for me. I don't have any of these traits either, but I'm very sure that I'm autistic. I do have trouble socializing, but it's a lot better now. I also thought I couldn't be autistic because I'm not bad at reading facial expressions or understanding other people. Great job with your hair! 👍🏻It looks almost professional!

[@saturadelanoirceur6396]

Thank you so much for this video! For years now, the thought of maybe being autistic is something that lives in my head and I guess part of me would be so very relieved to have a proper label of some kind to explain the otherness I experienced my whole life. But I would never have dared to seek a diagnosis, because I would have felt like committing some sort of appropriation against people on the spectrum by even suggesting that I might maybe autistic while not struggling with these stereotypical traits. Your videos are more and encouraging me to go and seek a professional opinion. Thank you for making this content! 💗

[@amivivi6420]

thank you so much for this video. ever since i was diagnosed i also was anxious that maybe the diagnosis was wrong but this calmed me a bit

[@MagerialPage]

Thank you for making this particular video. These videos are really important because it fights the gaslighting and gatekeeping that keeps high maskers from getting the help and community that they need. A lot of neurotypicals don't understand that you will never check off every item on the list. Whereas, there are autistic profiles, usually with spikiness in certain areas with maybe no symtoms in other areas.

[@robynbraddock1994]

THE INTERNET NEEDED THIS VIDEO!! THANK YOU ❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@elizabethkanaya1337]

This was a very eye-opening video. Thank you for making this!

[@Kamishi845]

I strongly relate to your comment about routine. I often feel I feel better when I have a well-established routine because it makes life easier to manage and I live more healthily, but routine can make me feel so boxed in for all the reasons you mentioned, and there's just a whole host of what ifs like what if I don't feel like it that day or that time or what if I don't have the time or energy or what if something comes up and I can't do it etc. I just hate having too many rules because sometimes I just want to feel I can do whatever I want even if it's not the best thing to do in the long-term.

[@ariadnarivas260]

Thank you so much for making this video! This has been so helpful for me. I'm currently in the process of trying to figure out if I might be autistic or not... I have doubt about it so much, because the mother of a friend of mine who has an autistic son said to me that it's impossible for me to be autistic and that made me doubt a lot, to the point in which I distanced myself from researching more about it. I'm trying to not gaslight myself with something that is really important for me.

[@LittleDreamer1412]

Every single one of these points (maybe minus the sarcasm haha I sometimes struggle with that one) are the reason I always thought I couldn't be on the spectrum and that my struggles are not big enough. I relate to you so much.

[@Crazakun]

This is a great list that I can relate to extremely well, and a lot of them are the reason it took nearly 30 years for me to put 2 and 2 together that I may in fact have autism. You've explained each trait exactly in the same way I feel or behave, particularly routines.

[@tammybrown4410]

Thank you for this Olivia! You look fabulous!!!

[@tara55886]

Great video. Also, this hair/make-up style suits you!

[@jamarawilliams5819]

Wow Olivia! Again we are so much alike! But I stim alot and working at the goodwill, I can let loose! Thank you for all the wonderful videos! We as women with autism need to set the record straight! Come together!

[@lucklessluce557]

Thanks so much for this video! I often wonder if I am on the spectrum as well, but I do not have many of the "prominent" traits. I think that is why I was given the vague and mostly useless DSM-V diagnoses of "Neuro-developmental disorder, not otherwise specified" at age 27 and only got an ADHD diagnoses at age 30. I appreciate that you mention how it is not the same for everyone and not weighted. Lots of the traits you talked about in your videos about traits that you DO have, I do not have. So... 1. Sarcasm. I also love it! Have never had difficulty understanding it. 2. Also don't do stimming, as far as I know. 3. Unfortunately I was badly bullied as a child, I think mostly because I was not accomplished at masking yet. Also could not communicate well, plus could not look at people's faces. (At least by now I can fake eye contact.) I didn't have friends until around age 12. Then I think it slowly started happening because I stopped caring whether I had friends or not. 4. I don't speak in a monotone, I am a music major. I use pitch in my voice to communicate all the time and am super sensitive to tone in other people. 5. Imagination: mine is HUGE. 6.Routine, I need a reasonable routine, but not too strict. For the same reason you do, it makes me too anxious. I also think that having ADHD as well (that was actually diagnosed - but only as an adult, like I said) contributes to me wanting novelty in my life? I tend to get shut downs when someone cancels plans with me though, I think also because deep down I am rejection sensitive. 7. I like order, but I do not organise things repeatedly either. I don't get upset if things are disordered. 8. I have wonderful fine motor skils and good co-ordination in my hands. Also really good reflexes. But my gross motor skills are terrible and I do not have the best ball skills. I walk into walls at times and can never understand why. 9. I am not obsessed with numbers, specifically, but I find patterns in absolutely everything. 10. Socialising the way most neuro-typicals think about it, is my worst nightmare. You would never catch me in a noisy club, or big sports stadium. But I am, now as an adult, good at making new friends. Very good at keeping in contact with my dearest friends over time and/or long distances. So I don't fit the "Unable to be social" mold either.

[@kelsyh3669]

Oh my gosh. I'm so glad you mentioned the routine thing! I hate routines because they're hard for me to follow. I also can't follow checklists and I'm very disorganized. I always felt like an oddball among oddballs because I didn't fit these stereotypes. I do have routines with locations, though. I hate new places.

[@iSkulk]

omg I can't express how much I appreciate this video

[@Spirilien]

Thank you for this! I resonate a lot with this, and it removes my doubts.

[@D-Maulish]

I feel like you're narrating my life, right down to the intricacies of how your relationship with routine is. One month to go 'til I go for assessment! And the hair and makeup are lovely.

[@OliviaHops]

Best of luck with your assessment!! God Bless! 💙

[@p.palmerpaints]

Loving the new look 😍

[@patrisande9563]

you look amazing on this 50's look!! 💕

[@saml4004]

Interesting!! Most of these I also don’t have and I was diagnosed very recently and have been going through the imposter syndrome because “I don’t do these things”. Thank you for sharing, this was actually quite validating for me!

[@kaylins5323]

Thank you for this! I've been wondering if I'm autistic for a while now and this really helped because I don't have traits that most autistic people seem to have in the way they describe them, or at least what the information online says about autism (don't know if that makes sense). Especially what you said about imagination. I have always been able to play imaginatively and I love writing. I had friends when I was little, I think it was because I was able to socialize with them through play and had fun immersing myself in the story of whatever we were playing. That, and I was always kind to everyone. However, as an adult, I have no friends and I find it very difficlt when one of the children I work with asks me to play house or some other form of dramatic play with them. I'm so awkward and usually try to be silly or get out of it as quickly as possible (I feel awful when I do the latter). When you were talking about organization, that is me exactly. Most of the time my room is messy and I actually like it that way or I'm never in the mood to clean even if I want to. The only thing I always have organized are my books and movies, and I always have to have them in a specific order. I also get horrible anxiety if I have a very strict schedule so I find if I plan very vaguely but don't make things too specific it can help me be more flexible. I do watch the same movies and tv shows over and over, and I eat the same thing for lunch and breakfast every day so I guess that can count as a routine of sorts. I am also very sarcastic and have no problem understanding others sarcasm most of the time. I've actually noticed that other people can't always tell when I'm being sarcastic or not. One trait I don't have that you didn't say is the inability to read facial expressions. I can read faces and body language quite well but have trouble if I'm in a face to face conversation. Then I have no idea how I am being perceived by them. I do know others have trouble reading my facial expressions and body language when I'm talking to them though. Sorry for the novel. I did say I love writing! lol

[@williamgreene4834]

That made me laugh. I have also used the " sorry for the novel " line now and then. :)

[@icy8403]

Have you gotten a diagnosis or talked to someone yet? I’m in a similar situation so curious to know abt you :)

[@florencehenderson3707]

love the new look! very cute. I'm excited to see where this special interest will take you.

[@XsomeoneXelseX]

Olivia, I am so thankful for your videos. The first time I encountered your channel I bawled my eyes out and I didn't even know why. Months later I have been diagnosed with autism at nearly 30 years old. Thank you for putting all this information out there.

[@OliviaHops]

Wow, I am SO honored my videos could help you on your journey to getting diagnosed. Congratulations on your diagnosis, by the way! 💙

[@rebeckalennse6918]

So glad you made a video on this topic!! Awsome 😃👍

[@clem302]

Thank you so much for this video ! This is really helpful

[@KS-un3pi]

I love your videos! I have a co worker that has a sister that is autistic(she's never told me that, but I try to connect the dots), at times I wonder if my co worker is too (definitely needs routine, can be obsessive, doesn't socialize outside of work( but could be an introvert), and freaks out if anyone touches her things(like clean her office at work). Her son is my youngest's age and they grew up in pre k together. I feel is he is on the spectrum as well. They did hold him back to repeat kinder and he is growing a lot. He still is very much speech delayed but is having less tantrum at school. I know it isn't my business but I have tried to encourage her to get him further speech testing(she went once and they said in 2019 or so there were other kids that needed the help more). And she isn't proactive on those fronts to push him. She says there are things he just won't do, and I don't have that struggle, so that isn't familiar to me. He wouldn't follow instructions at dr to do eye or hearing test. So they didn't push it. And I get that. I don't mean to sound overbearing, but I do care for her and her family. Do you or your Mama have any advice if there is a good way to encourage her to get him help? Either to rule it out all together or get help to further excell at school and life?

[@namewithheld5883]

This is my fav video of yours. We are in the process of getting a diagnosis confirmed for my daughter. She doesn't have any of these traits either (except she is monotone much of the time, but that is better explained by the depression that has led us to the ASD diagnosis in the first place).

[@vmmegibow]

Thank you Olivia! You have great videos! 🌷

[@shellyfuquay8538]

I remember thinking I wasn't autistic because I was very articulate, I do have a very active imagination and I understand idioms. Then I met more people on the spectrum and realized how truly diverse people with autism are. I did more research. It turns out not only is this common but my inflexible thinking there (that I had to check all the boxes to define myself as autistic) could be part of my autism as well.

[@the_hannah_ohara]

You look so beautiful Olivia! Thank you so much for this video. Your special interest is my special interest all things vintage 1940s , 1950s. I'm relating to this video so much! It's like hearing about myself! I don't strim, I might have slight stims like skin picking but nothing very noticeable. I have a very vivid imagination sometimes too vivid, one of my special interests is creative writing and I love to paint too so I definitely have a very creative mind. I'm not interested in maths or numbers either, I'm actually terrible at maths. I'm very outgoing and social when I'm with my small group of friends but I guess I can shut down quickly when I feel overwhelmed or threatened by someone or something. Thank you so much for this video and I'm looking forward to more videos you have sharing what it's like to be on the spectrum. It's so important that you and so many others out there talk about what it's like being Autistic. It's helping people seek a diagnosis and that's a wonderful thing.

[@OliviaHops]

Thanks so much for the super sweet comment, Hannah! And for watching and telling me about yourself. It was so nice to read. God Bless! 💙

[@chrissy24-7]

You look beautiful and confident! Thanks again for clarifying a lot of commonly held beliefs.

[@OliviaHops]

Thank you so much, Chrissy! 💙

[@strictnonconformist7369]

Dyspraxia isn’t a requirement for being autistic, but often goes along for the ride. I have quite a few other things along for the ride, and dyspraxia was one of the bigger issues that affected me for school, not being diagnosed as autistic until I was an adult. That trait also greatly enhanced my bullied experiences as at least part of the reason beyond bullies being bullies, and I suspect being undiagnosed autistic and adhd was just added fuel to burn me with by bullies.

[@RestorativeWaves123]

This is an awesome video. I'm undiagnosed but the experience of autism and so many of the traits are ultra relatable to me. My Dr. brushed me off about it, and it's hard to access specialists and good health care lately here, so who knows about a diagnosis for me (I'm also going on 34 y/o).. so yeah, watching these kinds of videos and learning more about it is making me feel more sane and just like I do understand myself pretty well, and I'm learning more and more how to take care of myself through this info, so thank you!!!!

[@lizad6030]

Every time I watch autism vids I relate to most of them and also in the beginning when u said "just because u don't have all the traits doesent mean u aren't autistic" and "no autistic person will have all traits" or something like that and thank you BC I'm probably autistic but I don't have results yet I should get it in October and like when I don't have some of them sometimes I'm like "yeah I'm probably not autistic then" and just feel like I'm not and get confused BC alot of the traits are like me I just don't know but then again 5 ppl think I am- and I think my parents do too now so 7

[@thecoloursofasd-bykristiel6221]

Omg that’s so me, “I want to have things tidy or clean,” I literally let things go for long before I finally fix them up. Ps booked in for my assessment. My oldest and youngest boys have asd and adhd.

[@amberbariaktari]

Thank you so much for sharing and doing this video. I popped out into this world a complete extrovert and running up to every human being since I was little asking them to be my friend and I love talking and crowds and social gatherings etc. I’m 47 and have just recently got diagnosed with combo ADHD and bipolar 1 (I have been bipolar 1 and textbook bipolar 1 so I know I was diagnosed properly with bipolar and have had since I was a child) and now I’ve started the assessment process for autism. Some boxes I don’t tick off but others I do and the more I learn about autism and in girls and people with both ADHD and autism the more I resonate with and am wondering. I have my deeply special interests and really only want to do them and internally hate doing anything other than those. I need hours or days of recovery time after things and really need to be in my room under my electric blanket with noise cancelling headphones on and lights dim or dark and just need to feel safe and quiet and hide. I have to self soothe a lot with phrases from movies etc. I dislike and it feels painful when plans change or something is different etc. I want routine and feel safe in routines but my ADHD wins so I’m never able to do routines.

[@SamCantThinkOfCreativeNames]

Thank you so much for making these videos. they really helped me understand what was/is "wrong" with me, wich I have wondered about for quite some time.

[@daniellepalao4089]

There's nothing wrong with you. You just think differently.

[@ellabiddy4741]

Same! Once I realized it’s not something “wrong” but just how I am, it made me feel so much better. I was deeply insecure about my personality

[@vanleetam]

very helpful to hear..cause recently im kinda obsessed with watching videos about autism in females and i already know (and am diagnosed) that i have adhd but i still feel like that adhd doesnt explain all of my weird behavious so after youtube started suggesting me videos about autism i tried to figure out if i might have that too..i also heard that its pretty common actually to have both...however...i just realised that i also dont have many of the traits you dont have even as an autistic person and i think i might "lack" some of these traits because my adhd makes it impossible to have them..like organizing things or having routines for example..its just impossible for me but at the same time i do have many many other autistic traits that i fully connect with

[@mitzi66]

Thank you. I am not diagnosed with autism, neither my 2 children, but we all feel we are, especially my son. He's in his early 30s and been waiting years to see someone about it. He scored high with his mental health team. My partner has a diagnosis, and it's sarcasm that bought us together! I loved that I could be myself and be really sarcastic! Mind you, we drive each other bonkers with our ways! My daughter on the other hand, doesn't get sarcasm, and it was a revelation really, she had been taking offence here there and everywhere unnecessarily, but that's like her dad, who I'd be really surprised wasn't somewhere on the spectrum. I've only suspected I might be autistic quite recently, but it definitely makes sense of my life. I really appreciate your videos. I'm in the UK, it's quite hard to get a diagnosis still. Relationship help just doesn't exist! Let's hope things change! ❤

[@JK-ek5jv]

It's interesting because I grew up in a very sarcastic house and feel like I understood it and learned how to do it because it was the way my family communicated. However as an adult, I've become quite literal and definitely have trouble knowing when my son is joking because his delivery is so dry and he says things so seriously. For this reason, I take offense often. I'm realizing that I get sarcasm that's very obvious and exaggerated....but not the kind people pass off as truth. My son thinks I have no sense of humor because of this as subtle sarcasm is his only humor..now I realize I may have autism. Thanks for sharing how all of this shows up in your family!

[@mitzi66]

@Azim Premji there is no cure for autism, if your son has started to talk, I can't believe it's because of herbs. There are lots of scammers pedalling false cures for autism, and some have been poisonous. People like to make money from the fears of others. You are obviously doing something else right and helping your son.

[@NoonyNewborn]

Wow.... I am speechless right now. The past days I've been having a bit of a meltdown and asked God why I just don't receive the help that I need and why I am not progressing in my healing. I stumbled upon your channel yesterday and watched almost all your videos in one go. Then yesterday I made an autism estimation test on the internet and it said it's rather unlikely that I am autistic, but the questions already seemed super stereotypical (e.g. if I am fascinated by numbers, etc.) and today you post this video and I am just blown away. I feel like you are almost exactly the same type of person as I am except great differences in special interests. I can literally cross off every single point you just mentioned as "I don't have/do that" or "I only slightly have/do that" but all other things that you talk about in your other videos just hit very true for me. I'm really a bit mind-boggled 🥲 I have a bpd diagnose since 10 years, and while I could identify with it as a teen very much, it almost flipped exactly the opposite behavior now. I can relate a lot to ad(h)d and hsp but neither complete the problems that I struggle with. I felt like looking more properly into the autism spectrum for a little while already but I always thought it doesn't quite match from what you hear "stereotypically". You opened up a huge revelation to me and I now wonder how I can go about this. Sadly in my country there is less research than in America, so I'm not sure what to do. I ordered 2 books though that will hopefully help me to go about it. One is the Aspergirls that you've mentioned (in German language) and one other also about females and autism. I feel hopeful. Thank you Jesus. May God bless you richly sister 🙏🏻

[@elthgar]

Yeah, there is a danger of putting to small a box on Autism. The original research was geared around boys and so a lot of the autistic traits are biased that way. Despite being a guy, I have found that I resonate w/ the female autistic traits that Olivia reports a lot. One common claim is everyone w/ autism must have alexithymia but in reality 50% do according to some research articles I saw (5% of neurotypical population has it)

[@NoonyNewborn]

@@elthgar For me a big thing why I couldn't look into autism earlier than now is the fact that I am everything but science-y/math-y/etc. I am the exact opposite and numbers hurt my brain (I think I have dyscalculia and it's actually pretty bad)... I am very analytic but just not in that sense. My special interests always revolved around creativity and just weird things. Also, I realize now that my masking ability is off the charts... I am so exhausted... but it all finally starts to make sense

[@elthgar]

@@NoonyNewborn Yeah, it is a pity these stereotypes are so prevalent even in the general profession (I think for example it is only worth talking to an autism specialist and not a general therapist after all the horror stories I saw online of their ignorance). I totally get the creativity thing -- and the exhaustion. I hope you can find a chance to rest/recuperate. I find that I still take on too much -- and continually at the edge of freezing up.

[@NoonyNewborn]

@@elthgar Yes, it seems very hindering and hurtful for people who fall through these stereotypes and still desperately need help. I am really grateful that I found Olivia's channel and it all suddenly makes sense. Now I can work with Jesus through it, and He will help me to get the help that I need. Thank you, friend. Now that I at least know in my heart what is up with me, I think it will become less agonizing for me. I was always so hard on myself despite the fact that I am actually really physically sick/damaged from other health related issues. Please also take care of yourself. I know the feeling of blatantly ignoring your own boundaries and just pushing through. Remember God loves you (even if you maybe don't believe He's real).

[@elthgar]

@@NoonyNewborn I am trying, made some good progress in the last week in moving toward some delegation (I am also planning on relying on some good communicators to help w/ finding the volunteers). I appreciate the exhortation too :-) The explanatory power of knowing why we tick a certain way is so helpful. Last year (in my mid 40s) I was learning so much about myself, and I was like -- oh, this is why I've felt like an alien in a lot of social dynamics, and why people have engaged me in certain ways in the past.

[@jennifergauthier3282]

This was so helpful! 💗💗💓💓 I also don't have many of those traits, so this was very validating.

[@OliviaHops]

So glad to hear this was helpful and validating for you!! 💙

[@spoons2075]

❤❤ awesome as always

[@saturadelanoirceur6396]

You look so gorgeous! 😍 I'm thrilled to follow you pursuing this special interest further 😁🥰

[@OliviaHops]

Aw thank you so much!! You just made my day!! 🥰💙

[@saturadelanoirceur6396]

@@OliviaHops Awww, in return this made me very happy right now 🥰

[@ThinWhiteAxe]

your hair looks great!

[@dinieldelaware]

You are definitely rocking the 50s look!! Beautiful ❤️

[@OliviaHops]

Aw thanks so much, Diniel!! Love you girl!!

[@sophiawools1971]

I really appreciate your videos! I'm on my own journey of figuring out if I'm autistic. I can really relate to you and other autistics. I am sarcastic, I have very subtle stims, I was bullied unfortunately my whole life, my voice can be monotone and over expressive- not really much in the middle, I'm imaginative and creative, I have a chill non strict routine, I'm very organizational and my mom uses my gift to her advantage it's fun though, I'm very clumsy but I love dancing and running, I hate numbers, I'm not good at math but very obsessed with science, I'm not very good at socializing. Thank you for bringing awareness!

[@OliviaHops]

Best of luck on your diagnosis journey, Sophia! 💙

[@BirdieMcLovin]

Again such important information for girls and women! My daughter lacks many of these traits (no strict routine , gets sarcasm). She does stim but can hide it until she’s alone and she is terribly uncoordinated! Thank you for this! I dismissed autism in her because I thought she had to have most of these traits. Luckily we got her diagnosed.

[@insertwittyname5649]

I got misdiagnosed once just on the basis that I was "too social." I've noticed that a lot of specialists go off of strictly male traits rather than female ones. Aspergers/autism shows VERY different between genders most of the time. But I'm happy that your daughter was able to get diagnosed! I was so happy when I did because it answered a lot of questions.

[@onlyfrog]

i'm so jealous of your motor skills 😭 i'm a total disaster dancing or playing sports. like you, i socialize very well, people even think i'm an extrovert. i do understand sarcasm, just not all of the time lol. i used to line up things as a kid. my imagination is huge, i love to write and etc, but i have a really hard time trying to imagine places :( and the list goes on!

[@LegalVampire]

That hair style and lip colour suits your face so well 👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼

[@randytobien8858]

Excellent talk!!

[@helenadinger2146]

This video helped very much thank you!!!

[@Lunautau101]

Omg the routine thing. I’m fine with changes to my day as long as the major beats/places are still in place. Like in college I always expected to go to my classes, work in studio, eat with my friends, go home at expected times. If any of those major beats are threatened, I either get anxious or get REALLY angry at whatever threw a monkey wrench in my day because now I gotta rework the timeframe. But if something like, “oh, it snowed, classes are cancelled” then I have no issue (wonder why)….

[@rivkaruthgolan]

Looks great Olivia! I’ve been wanting to try it too.

[@OliviaHops]

Thanks so much! And give it a try! It was so fun!!

[@luckyme98]

Loving the curl in your hair today

[@ashleyien1222]

Thank you for this. I had KZbin recommend a video on autist traits of females about a week ago and it hit a chord with me. I just related to so much of it, but after watching many other videos and started to wonder if I was wrong at feeling like I could be, because some of the most commonly listed things I don't have. I'm sarcastic and get sarcasm (though people don't often realise that I'm being sarcastic), I wasn't sure if I stim (still figuring that out, but I do fidget for sure and I'm horrible at picking dry skin on my face and head mostly... like I can't stop), I write stories for fun and have a very active imagination, a big one was I don't have strict routine... I don't like change for sure... change of plans... but I don't have a steady routine at all, I'm horrible at math and can't remember numbers, I'm not super organized. Just to list a few. I started thinking I couldn't possibly be autistic because of these things, but I need to keep in mind that everyone is different and not everyone has EVERY trait. I'm still trying to figure things out. I won't call myself self-diagnosed, because I'm not sure, but I'm feeling it's a strong possibility. Thank you.

[@marie-claudefournier7666]

Great video and your hair looks amazing! 🤩

[@OliviaHops]

Aw thanks so much, Marie!! So glad you liked the video and you think my hair looked good! ☺️

[@elenat2580]

Thank you so much for this video ❤

[@fouried96]

I really enjoyed this video! Thank you