That smiling is disturbing when tell the story I can’t finish the video

That job actually sounds good for Autists' skill sets, but can you actually support yourself on 6-10 hours a week?

Landlord is working good for me. I have special talents that get me shoved out of workplaces but are advantages bring a landlord. They are: lie detector. It rubs people the wrong way when im like "thats not true, thats a lie, thats not what happened" at work. People hate it. When an applicant lies about one thing i deny their application. I also know the difference between akward and nervous people and liars. I sense energy and intentions. I pick the normie worker bees to rent to. People who are ok with the grind and not hostile to paying somebody for housing. It works good. When i get a nasty demon my energy burns their skin like fire and they dont want to rent from me. Scammers get tongue tied when i interrogate their piss poor stories full of holes. Perpetual victim's give me a sob story then i dont rent to them. People in debt and will struggle to pay rent give it away every time that they are financially struggling. I feel it right in the heart every time i ask about their money. Its sad that they have such a hard life of debt slavery, but i cant rent to them either. I wish i could but they are just a barrel of never ending problems. And thats how i use autism and psychic energy to screen tenants. I am like the statues in the never ending story that burn you with lazers is you have bad intentions.

It's such a relief to hear about your experience and realise that I'm not just dramatic, this is an actual meltdown, even the yelling part where you ask God why is so relatable I've always called it an anxiety attack because it was the closest thing I could relate to but hearing from you I think this is way more accurate. I'm curious about the difference though, if you know someone with anxiety it'd be an interesting video to compare an anxiety attack to an autistic meltdown

I have a university degree and went on to be a teacher after uni. I didn't know about my autism (just about my ADHD) and working at a school just BROKE me. The noise, the problems of all the kids, the bullying, the other teachers, the workload... I burned out and quit my job after 9 months, not knowing what I will do after that. I had to do a lot of job interviews and after these I always crashed because masking was SO exhausting... I just HATE to kinda sell myself. I had the opportunity to work in retail with minimum wage, which I accepted as second and safe option, because I was so afraid I wouldn't find a job that wouldn't break me again... retail would have, too, soo I really get the "many autistic people are underemployed" part!! The first option luckily worked out and after finding myself and fighthing for my needs in the last 2 years, I am kinda happy with the 9 to 5 job I have now. I work at a museum, 30hrs a week, home office is prossible and I do it every Monday, because we are closed on mondays anyway. I have my own office, no one is there to disturb me, work with headphones a lot because there is lot of noise around the place. After a few months, I finally managed to make the agreement that I can have my lunch alone in peace in my office and don't have to sit with my coworkers anymore, because these lunch breaks were never breaks for me. The smell of other peoples food, the stupid small talk,... since I don't have to be there anymore, I feel so much better! People know where to find me when they need something, they can ring me and don't have to come to my space and kinda disturb me. I have some plants and decor in my space which calmes me, I can move my working hours and come later or earlier if needed. :) The social aspect is not as bad as it was in school, because many of my coworkers are kinda quirky aswell, so people don't really bother about weird habits or whatever. I kinda found a little job corner and will stay there. There is no other person who could do the job like me, especially not in the hours I do it, so my boss thankfulls just lets me do my shit, because he is busy with his own stuff and we found a good way to communicate - mostly through mails, which eliminates the problems with eye contact, etc. I am in my process for getting an autism diagnosis now and hope that I will keep this job for many years, because I just have made kinda a nice nest for my neurodiverse self and getting comfy in it. Wish anybody else that they will find such a spot, too!

I was rooting for you but then the misogyny at 6:28 really pissed me. It is sad that you speak about your gender in that way.

I always stand up for my family, and they should be spoken up for. Your place or not, those people have gotten away with not hearing the truth for too long. They need more self reflection.

I relate a lot to your experience! I also didn’t tolerate loud places, noises, storm or new year made me cry and sometimes it still does. I didn’t like being hugged as a toddler and child. And I still don’t like it. I enjoyed my own company and didn’t care much about my peers. My interests were more like boys stereotypical- trams and magnets but not only there were also dolls. I didn’t play in roles I just created and set up a scene to watch it for hours. I was very shy and curious but I held questions back. I tried my best to figure things out on my own. I was a picky eater for some time, but I come from poverty so often there was no food at home or one thing only and no choice. But one thing makes me wonder - my flexibility. I’ve learned that to some point but as a child I didn’t tolerate changes. Now maybe it’s just my experience that I always have in mind that people generally don’t keep their word or don’t remember what they said. So I always have plan B

Most of us do. It's a term that is overused.

100%

Where I live, merchandiser jobs still demand "a client oriented attitude, sales experience and good communication skills". I'm tired!!!!

In what way is looking at things as black or white logical? I think it just shows your lack of empathy if you can't see both sides of an argument.

I have people challenge me on something I know not to be true (like trivial rules of a card game), and I have pretty over-the-top reactions as someone with autism. People have intentionally triggered me to have them before to embarrass me socially, and then gaslight me by saying things like "hey I don't know what the problem is here" or "this is something that really doesn't matter" One thing I can tell adults for starters...DO NOT drink alcohol, as it'll lower your inhibitions as to how you melt down, which can be extremely ugly when you're under duress and your life is in danger, esp as a man, where your anger is especially visceral and can scare others.

I've worked heaps of jobs, and never held one down longer than 2 years. I've either fallen for conflicts with managers and co-workers, who set me up for failure, had communication issues with customers, have worn myself out, or have found the subjective job has triggered difficult aspects of hypersensitivity...or found the job is a scam where I haven't picked up on being exploited beforehand. I just want a routine job where I'm safe, and where people don't cause me trouble. I've made the mistake of sharing my syndrome with managers previously, and they undermine and gaslight with all the usual things - "no-one else has x problem except you", "you seem perfectly fine to me", "you shouldn't use the syndrome as a reason not to get along with others/not to do this thing"...for a man with autism its even more difficult cause you're expected to "suck it up" and "have a spoon of concrete"...many jobs I would like are usually confined to women, who are given preference for "softer" jobs.

Keep up the good work.

When I was small and had a meltdown,my parents would always tell me, I will give you something to really cry about if you don’t stop screaming and crying. Now my meltdowns are screaming crying and throwing things.

when I first tuned into your channel I never thought for a moment you were Autistic until you said so. I have a 25 year old son who I think has Level 2 Autism & a 22 year daughter who is Level 1. As a parent we do have challenging days especially with my daughter who suffers from severe meltdowns & anxiety disorder. She is also susceptible to certain smells & noise. Not sure if medication & therapies really help that much.

I was diagnosed with high functioning autism. And I was afraid that only someone from the outside would know it, I never talked about it, it seemed unrealistic at all. What will people at work think of me... What will people at college think of me... That's why many times I just work on projects on the computer alone with myself because I'm very good at that.

I masked so well that I went for like 5 autism assessments and four of them were together but the first one said I’m not autistic at all 😅. But last month I was diagnosed after many assessments and I masked so well that sometimes I would tell myself “stop acting autistic for attention” I masked so well that I didn’t believe myself…

I just realised the majority of my “idk why I’m sobbing I just am😭😭” moments are meltdowns… I have diagnosed autism I was only diagnosed around last month and have started secondary school and keep crying without reasoning and I’m pretty sure I just figured out I’m having a meltdown some days and the trigger is school… Damn

I Remember When I Was Young My Aunt Bought Me A Fake Leather Gillet Dress. Sleeveless With A ZipUp Front Designed For Wearing A Little Top Or Jumper Underneath . I Remember Wearing That Same Gillet Every Single Day For School When In Junior School And Would Not Wear Anything Else For School Other Than That. My Mum Used To Get Annoyed With Me And Try To Encourage Me To Wear Something Different For A Change And Said My Teachers Would Think I Had Nothing Else To Wear But I Would Get Upset If I Wernt Allowed To Wear That Gillet Everyday For School. I Was Obsessed With Monkeys When I Was Young And Had A Big Teddy Monkey That I Named Jacko That I Would Drag Everywhere With Me. I Always Used To Ask For A Real Monkey As A Pet And For As Long As I Can Remember Have Prefered Pets & Animals To People. I Remember Too That My Mum Used To Force Me To Drink A Spoonful Of Cod Liver Oil Which I Absolutely Hated..Perhaps That Was Something I Had To Take For Constipation As I Have Suffered With That Problem Most Of My Life..I Have Always Hated Clothes With Long Sleeves And Have Never Been Able To Wear Certain Materials Next To My Skin For Example..Crimplene. i Have 3 Grown Up Children On The Spectrum And My Daughter Has 3 Of Her 6 Children Diagnosed With Aspergers And Autism. My Daughter Has Commented Jokingly That I Too Am On The Spectrum. Im Almost 66 Years Old And Have To Admit That I Have Found Life Challenging And People Confusing..Could This Be The Reason Why I Wonder.

without college i feel lost and id rather put a bullet in my head as a soon to be mom im slowly waiting to just die because i cant go to college and im an embarassment to all my family id rather just fade away i hate the way i feel i look and how iam im nobody

Very interesting, im usually triggered by miscommunication, and interpersonal stress. Being alone is good but its helps when my partner pats me with his hand, like drumming pretty hard, it helps me to calm down a little. Ive been having more meltdowns and shutdowns due to burnout related to roommate stress. I noticed there are stages, release, oh this feels good, oh no how long is this gonna last, self hatred and anxious delusions, self soothing and conforting. I usualy feel much better the day after. Im trying to stop being so mean to myself. Its so hard when our parents raise us to be ashamed of our emotional expression.

I discovered I'm autistic in the past few months and.... I don't really talk to a whole lot of people so most of my conversations have been with my husband, sister, and mom. My husband has been hesitant about it just because he knows how far down rabbit hole I tend to go and he wants to make sure I actually am autistic and don't just see some similarities and am jumping in the deep end because of it. My sister got diagnosed with ADHD in the past couple years and is totally on board. My mom, while she whole heartedly believes my brother is autistic, has had a hard time with my sister's diagnosis and me talking about autism. I even brought up characteristics she wasn't aware of and she got confused. "But everyone thinks that way. Nobody thinks (the neurotypical example I have). If that's autistic then everyone must be a little autistic because everyone thinks that way." I think my mom might be more neurodivergent than she thought. 😅 I had a therapist for a while and he was impressed with the amount of online tests I had taken. He gave me possible options of where to go for diagnosis but said that there wouldn't be much point since the diagnosis is "for kids" to get help in school. But if I find it helpful to do tactics that help autistic then that's all that matters.🤦🏻‍♀️ I do want to go in for a diagnosis eventually just to help with the scientific community understanding of late diagnosis and woman autism.

I don't like Therapy. Childhood trauma I think, diagnosed at age 7 and that when all the hell started for me. Behavior conditioning with more punishment than rewards all started with a psychologist. It's deep in me to not trust them now. So how can pay for therapy and have deep seated distrust. It's irrational though but still there.

There is also a movie called molly and it's about a girl that has low functioning autism.

Your video had made me feel so much less alone in this struggle. Thank you for sharing the reality of what many of us struggle with.

when i was a kid, other kids seemed to me like physically over-developed toddlers. now that i'm an adult, many adults are like children to me, and not in the cute "i wanna discover the world and enjoy myself" kinda way, but rather.... helpless and clueless?.. i swear i'm not arrogant, i can criticise the hell out of myself too. and i am also helpless and clueless but in different things - in those smalltalk-like social interactions.

oh... so when my English teacher told me it would make sense to add 100 years to my age (and i wasn't at all offended 🥳 ) - that's probably why... and... i love metal music but i could never comprehend the volume on concerts. why do all these people need _that_ kinda volume when you can't enjoy the music and have to protect yourself from it. that is starting to make sense. what was preventing me from seeing autistic features in myself was of course the stigma first of all, and secondly the exaggerated stereotypes. like i can't be autistic if i speak to people, don't stack things on top of one another, don't bang my head on the wall, and do like music. misrepresentation hurts.

that kinda job had never appealed to me. now it does. a schedule you can tailor to your own needs is amazing.

Honestly, I'm now wondering if my "panic attacks" were actually misdiagnosed meltdowns after seeing your video... I relate to everything you said during this video and saw exactly how i react during the part where you filmed yourself. I've got a lot to think about...

Thank you

Hey olivia ik its been a long time but i wanted to comment on your statement about us preferring males. Its so annoying how we are posed as "pick me's" for this, but i think its an instinctive thing bc 1) Autistic brains are literally considered more "male" and for a LOTTTT of autistic women we literally have PCOS (Which i believe contributes to the autism being passed along for generations of women bc Testosterone in the womb contributes, and PCOS makes women produce more testosterone their entire lives than "regular " women) So there are real valid underlying reasons why this could be so. Also, Idk if its just me being vulnerable and attracting terrible broken people, but EVERY SINGLE TIME just about that ive been close to a girl, they DEEPLY betrayed me. Not even some casual growing apart stuff. its like they always end up with this weird competitiveness and i just want peace. It scares me to even think ab having a girl best friend at this point bc of it all

The challenge with a poll of the "community" is that a substantial population are impacted seriously in a way that prevents them from responding. And often, the most aggressive of the community are self diagnosed or went shopping to get the diagnosis because it is considered a social identity in many cases now. They tend to really mitigate those who are seriously impacted and deny their existence. I think you made a great point with you response to the person insisting it's not a disorder while still wanting funding/supports, etc.

Really great video..cheers

Yeah, this just happened to our family- Loblaws ddecidedto discontinue their NoName crispy skin-on fries, and we tried the other brands and hated them. Should have guessed that was an autism thing (we all are, to varying degrees).

GET. TO. THE. FKN. POINT. jesus H

I believe ypu..I know alot of people, I had challenges growing up and in adult life too and know those with autism..yes they can do the work but..to many times people see people like them as weird , strange, they often want to, but some don't want to accommodate for fear of them standing out ..and with all the crazy stuff, sometimes people miss thing , but so to typical people, there is more then skills there is the whole skill, people have tbier own drum they March to if they don't give learning disabilities and those with autism a chance they eventually pick on the quote on quote on quote typical folks with personality traits they don't like as in nerdy, shy, outgoing, too much of s bookworm, too goofy ect.. often bullies are given more of maybe too much a change to sadly yes to pick on learning disabilities, autism, and typical folks

OMG THE SLEEP THING! That explains why I often went to 'sleep things off' when I was younger!! Yesterday, I had my first 'concious shutdown' where I knew what it was. And it felt just like my brain pulling the plug. It just needed to not process at that moment. My week has been a whole lot of everything and I didn't have time in between things. So at an (quite safe) event full of people I felt it coming. I was SO annoyed by the tiniest sounds and just felt this urge of leaving the room and being alone. So I did and found a quiet corner on the stairs. Then my brain just powered down. My brain pulled the plug to my body so it just hung there and if I had forced any movement it probably would have been exhausting. It felt like it was barely possible anyways. The lights were dim and the area quiet. And I was in this meta state of enjoying the decompressing process and was kind of happy i knew what it was. Also, I'm proud I left the overwhelming environment for a while. Wouldn't have done that when i was younger and probably just gotten more and more irritable to the point of a meltdown.

I'm not diagnosed ADHD or Autism, and I fit into certain traits of both but I really don't know where I am-or both, not sure. For most of my 20's I've worked 2 jobs and traveled the world solo, burnout was real and I lived on adrenaline because I never slept. after having worked nights for 10+ years and now one job for the first time, working nights messes up my schedule and body. I'm much more introverted and not a talker, but working in movie theatres have been the only job I've enjoyed most. I love movies and entertainment, but the flexibility allowed me to explore the world that I'd never take back. with that- travelling with no schedule aleviates anxiety which I'm grateful I learned that during 2020 travels. working as a receptionist- I despise answering the phone, but having a job doing something I hated, allowed me to grow but I never wanted to go to work everyday. gotta weigh the pros and cons unfortunately. alone time is incredibly important to me too or I can't function

I've learned to express my feelings rather than do angry things name call make false assumptions & conclusions I've learned emotional venting I've read many disability materials & watch videos my friends are Temple Grandin Stephen Shore and Michael John Carley and many more my sisters & friends shame me for hurting everyone I have very low self esteem I'm not perfect but will try to change my behaviors but I'm 66 yrs old now😢

My daughter has been diagnosed with ADHD . She's 10, and she's getting really frustrated in school hard to make friends . next month, she's going to be evaluated for autism .

Is your boyfriend neirotypical

Thank you for this Olivia. As someone midway through ASD assessment I so relate. You have such great energy!

You’re so pretty

It's hilarious because I've been doing this job for free every time I enter a store anywhere since I was a child. When I was 5 my mom would have to tell me to stop because we had to go and I would be organizing the shelves. The only issue that I see with this job is that I can't imagine living off only 10 hours a week of wages. I'd need to be making at least $60 an hour. If it pays that well then it sounds like a dream, so there's no way it pays that well, right?

I have this thing where i get them when i do something 'wrong'. Could be the smallest thing that doesn't matter that much but i just absolutely despise myself. I will hit myself continuously and wishing myself dead. After i calm down i feel so bad.