Femininity & Masculinity Content Has Gone Too Far

[@Bjorn_R]

This absolutely isnt just online. People just dont share everything they think. I have been shocked by some of the things my otherwise "normal" female friends think or just dont know about men.

[@morningfog532]

That TikTok woman has presumably had some bad experiences with dating men (possibly due to her own poor decision making), falsely concluded all men are this way, and now spreads her naive, overly-simplistic analysis online. She doesn’t realize it only harms herself and others who buy into it.

[@robsolf]

True. Thing is, we ALL have had bad dating experiences. But we should do what we can to learn the right lessons from them. The lesson she should have learned, I think, is that yes, men can definitely have sex with someone they aren't really into, so don't take a guy's desire to have sex with her as the kind of interest she's seeking. Instead she "learned" that men don't make emotional connections, which is absurdly untrue. And I suspect she thinks that because her self esteem can't cope with the idea that some men just aren't into her as a person. It's a hard fact we all have to accept about ourselves to have healthy relationships.

[@lifesedgeart9303]

🎯

[@KingCobbones]

I've found that almost everything related to TocTok is cringe-worthy.

[@TomFox1]

Yes and she isn’t healed from her past.. all major red flags!!

[@jamesjonnes]

It started going downhill when they started choosing their own partners without their parents consent.

[@lifesIronyboard]

So glad you shared this creator's message today. As a widowed man who has been in emotional anguish since the loss of my wife, it's good to know there were never any ties and that I should not be hurt by the loss because I am incapable of attachment.

[@lashedbutnotleashed1984]

Yeah, so stop pretending.

[@Fenrir190]

I unplugged from "relationship" content several months ago. When I did that and took notice of what was actually around me, I noticed that a lot of the women making these cringe videos are a minority. The few that I have met since are starved for real connection. Their female "friends" are never really honest with them, and some outright lie to them.The programming to hate men is ingrained in them that interacting with any man is so cringe it's sad. Too busy working with my new gf to make sure our relationship is good and beneficial to both parties to care about sad lonely people and their "relationship" content.

[@AnonymousProPublicaHakr]

Well said. They make it seem like it’s the “new norm” or something to that effect. No people I know even know that this is going on.

[@joebeta1837]

How did you unplug from "Relationship" content. I have been led to believe that women are evil and shouldn't be trusted. I work with a lot female employees, and when I went in a rant of how women really are (based on watching Men's content), they looked at me with shock. That's when I thought to myself, "I need to stop watching these videos." Videos from Rich Cooper, Darius M, The Joker from Better Bachelor, Courtney Ryan, Legion of Men, and Manosphere Highlights Daily. I was told to swallow The Red Pill, but eve since then, I've become distrustful of women. It's an ugly feeling I have. How were you able to Unplug?

[@Elross_]

​@@joebeta1837Well, you don't want to become the male version of those feminists. The point is to learn about bad women so you can recognize and avoid them easier. So you can choose better women If the content seems to be always negative then it's better to stop watching. You don't wanna become a bitter man. Bitter people are unattractive. So I'd suggest to lay off the content on all platforms

[@Fenrir190]

@@joebeta1837 I never got to the full on red pill rage moment a lot of dudes reach. When I started feeling like I was getting close, it was unplug time. My way of unplugging is a more permanent solution. I stopped KZbin suggestions and blacklist channels I don't find to be beneficial to me. The latter you can do via the "don't recommend this channel" button on desktop. These two things leave my feed with only stuff I watch from channels I'm subbed to. That being said, you're gonna have to unsubscribe from channels who put out content that's not actually helping you. The red pill content started going to sh*t when the content became the inverse of feminist content where every woman is held to an impossible standard and men can't be held to a standard by women for the dumbest of reasons. You're also gonna have to get out there and touch grass. Go do some fun stuff you enjoy and talk to people(women especially) without all the red pill stuff. Red pill content in the beginning taught me some good lessons. The main one being women, just like men, are not perfect little angels. They're flawed just like men, treat them accordingly.

[@Fenrir190]

@@Elross_ Thanks! You basically summed up a part of my essay 😂

[@Void_of_Light]

You know what has gone to far? The way the family courts have exceed in unfairness to men with regard to alimony, child support, loss of assets and property, loss of parental custody, etc. Until those problems have been corrected within the laws, the cycle will continue.

[@juliansoto2651]

You don't get it. The problem is deeper than that. It's just a symptom of a bigger problem. It's called feminism.

[@ay_ay_ron2112]

Never married no kids and keeping it that way!!

[@waltermyers8891]

Ladies, y’all can’t expect a decent man after your #feminism phase including treating us men like shit and that cannot be erased from your history. Also I am skeptical about giving women my phone number because most won’t usually use it. Plus, I’m not to fond of giving out my number to them due never using it. Gentlemen y’all should be skeptical as well. #STD #HIV #dance

[@davidaston5773]

Dear Miss Courtney, and all my fellow GREAT subscribers, It is eerie, because I wrote my comment (above) BEFORE I had watched the opening 5 minutes? And what you said was sadly SO TRUE. MY VIEW AS AN EX ADDICT It's interesting, because for a long time, I saw parallels between our current use of the internet and addiction? Then, to my absolute shock, I watched a video pointing out the internet creates the SAME reaction of endorphins being created and released into the brain. I strongly believe, while the internet has LOTS of great advantages which enable everyone to be equal in terms of distance, connecting with people and learning, it HAS done a HUGE damage to our collective communication as a society. And now people can now engage in a VERY unhealthy life of faking who they are. Even worse? The trends such as labelling men in gyms who are minding their business as creeps, point to a twisted and disturbing version of needing the the spotlight. I know from personal experience that people smearing you, can and WILL, have massive negative consequences to your mental health and reputation. In my case? It is part based on my behaviour when I was a cold stone addict, but also, due to people holding a grudge and the MeToo witch hunt mentality. And finally, there are signs that people suffer from withdrawal when they try to stop using the internet? We need to realise EVERYTHING we absorb and interact with has a mental, emotional and impact on our brains as well as our always evolving brains. What this has done to the generations who have NEVER lived without the internet is already showing itself and the results are not pleasent, David I write a lot.

[@jks211]

Most underrated comment on here and Courtney won't acknowledge it. She will continue to pander to both sides.

[@greyfox2822]

I've dated women who usually choose bad men, who would tell me that I was just so great and loved them the way they always wanted. They still ended up sabotaging the whole thing because they're attracted to toxicity, and they went back to their old patterns. If you're not healed, if you don't actually take the time to be introspective to figure out WHY you do what you do, then the same thing will just keep happening. Maybe ask your friends in healthy relationships for dating advice instead of listening to your other single friends 🤷‍♂️

[@jnbovee]

You described my previous relationship perfectly

[@Shageta456]

As a man struggling with self-love and feeling like I have to be the rough and tough man. I'm will openly admit that I have a hard time letting my emotions out because of the fact that the world will see me as weak. For as long as I can remember I've kept my emotions hidden from the outside world and I've let them out in secert because I didn't want people worrying about me. I now realize that is wrong and it's ok to let it out when it's needed.

[@Chrono826]

Brother you're not alone. What you feel about society perceiving you as weak by speaking your emotions is absolutely true. You are not weak. It's not you. It's them. They are toxic disgusting people. Go and put your attention towards the ones who value you. They're out there.

[@CourtneyRyan]

Hugs to you. Thanks for sharing this! 🤍

[@Shageta456]

@@CourtneyRyan Thank you, Courtney. ❤️

[@TheRexTera]

This is why it’s soooo darn unhealthy to delay being in a relationship for men. We men don’t practice emotional intimacy among men. It gets to the point where we no longer can have someone inside our head without pushing back. It’s definitely not healthy. It leads to a lot of emotionally unable men with poor communication skills.

[@Shageta456]

@@Chrono826 Much love, brother. ❤️

[@tomasfarish7959]

Good insights, Courtney. You hit the mark! When a woman gets burned by a man she really desires, "all men" soon become the scapegoat. In this particular case, I have noticed a clear dichotomy between me and my male friends, and the women we date (or just hook up with). Women seem to conflate the desire for sex with the desire for a relationship. Men do not! I have heard it from my women friends, my daughters friends et al about the men they date: "We’ve been having sex for months (years?), why won't he commit? We had sex…he really must like me...why did he ghost me?" It is so common, it is almost comical. That mousy 30-something really can't understand why the tall, good-looking, successful guy who pumped her and dumped her, later started dating a hot 20-something. I also agree that there is no such thing as “toxic femininity” or “toxic masculinity”, but there is such a thing as toxic feminism that convinces women to judge men are just no good, when the fact is simply that men and women are manifestly not the same.

[@jonathangriffin8060]

This is so true. As a peer advocate for the mental health community, a large majority of men do delete themselves because they are not heard when they want to talk about what is bothering them because of society and disrespect towards them. When they express any type of feeling, they get accused of "not being a man" or my personal favorite insult and the one I hear often is "Man up". Or, heaven forbid, if a man tells a woman "no" while on a date with a woman, she gets insulted and calls the guy every name in the book because she has never heard the word "no" up until she dated that guy. There's also a lot of misinformation about "men's content" that needs to be cleared up. Most men's content tells their viewers the truth about "female nature" and it is a counter to the female content that is all over social media. The men who watch the male content are fully aware of the situation in the dating world and they are just not happy that the world of dating/marriage is not always in their favor in all aspects of it and they just choose to do their own thing and live their lives as a single man and just have peace and do their own thing and live independent lives. This is not a toxic trait, it is a choice that men make to better their lives and live it drama-free from relationships.

[@raymondmirasol]

Thanks for discussing this, Courtney. I’m a neurologist and I observe and diagnose disorders of cognition and emotion. I find that many people seem to think, or at least say, that emotion and logic are mutually exclusive or opposite sides of a spectrum. I’ve seen this lead to unnecessary misunderstandings and premature endings to meaningful conversations. I’m often tempted to think that when someone says that they cannot talk with you because you are “too emotional” or “too logical” it is more of a deflection than a true reason to discontinue talking. It’s great to know that people are aware that these two aspects of human thought and expression coexist in any given situation, and may be appropriate.

[@TheRexTera]

The big issue is that “normal” and “healthy” is hidden away in privacy because healthy people don’t feel the need to put themselves out there on the internet. Besides “normal” is to boring to go viral and become topics for discussions online. That’s why online is so deranged. It’s all reactions to extremes and curiosities.

[@CourtneyRyan]

This is a good point too.

[@Viewable11]

Most underrated comment of the month.

[@Justanothercog24]

This!!! From the angry feminists to the podcasts arguing with OF chicks. They only show the extremes because it gains more views which feeds the algorithms further leading to brainwashing ppl into thinking "that's all there is out there." One thing a lot of ppl miss is the cycle of what you think/ believe dictates how you behave, your future decisions & how you treat others... IE confirmation bias. Ppl who think "no can be trusted" won't ever allow themselves to fully trust or be vulnerable, even with ppl who are trustworthy. Believing "all women are 304s" only leads to men using all women for s3x regardless of individual character. In order to be able to see & acknowledge what contradicts the beliefs, ppl have to first be open to the idea that they may be wrong in judgement or what they've been fed may not apply across the board. Problem is many refuse to see this which only creates a vicious cycle of ppl hurting eachother & self-sabotaging with everyone they meet while also convincing themselves that they are justified in their actions. It becomes so incredibly obvious once one realizes what is happening yet so many ppl lack the awareness to be able to see it.

[@orionschroeder9401]

The woman in this video clearly has made POOR decision's, and choices with regards to the men she becomes involved with. Thank you for sharing this video Courtney, reinforces my point that many women have mental health issues, and are living in this fantasy feminist mind-set. When men, and women put core family moral values first, honesty, trust, and loyalty, true love and respect will follow in a genuine caring relationship.

[@tommygunn6901]

Nailed it! 2022 was such a low part of my life because I almost ended it. 2023 began and I took one day at a time to start healing and become more emotionally intelligent. Now, I'm working on a book that will help on men's mental health, by putting my experiences out there

[@Neoteny374]

If you're having those ideations, this crushingly depressing channel isn't for you.

[@CourtneyRyan]

Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing this. It’s been incredible to hear about your journey through your comments on my channel 🥹 so glad you’re here!

[@tommygunn6901]

@@Neoteny374 how about read my comment again. This was a past experience! And I'm sharing that experience, either you like it or not, but who are you to tell anyone who Courtney's channel is for?

[@tommygunn6901]

@@CourtneyRyan thank you again as always 😊

[@josesantana770]

@@Neoteny374 you couldn't be more wrong even if you tried harder.

[@MarvelMTs]

As a guy, I am open and clear with my feelings, societal norms be darned. It’s a great feeling

[@JoeJ-8282]

Great video Courtney, I totally agree with everything you said here! I would also add that it's not good when specific things get taken completely out of context in relation to the entire overall "bigger picture"!... That's kind of why I usually DON'T prefer to watch "video shorts"; because so many of those CAN be, (and oftentimes ARE), taken or understood in the wrong way, so I prefer to know the WHOLE complete and REAL truth about or story behind something instead! And NOT that YOU purposely do this Courtney, but all of this (either accidentally OR purposely) taking stuff out of context, (especially among MANY of the other online "content creators" nowadays), and then "twisting" your own personal interpretation of it just to "fit" with or apparently "support" your own personal judgement or opinion, is a rather unfortunate thing that's happening, especially nowadays, when the average attention spans of most of the younger generation especially, is only a few short sentences, or only a couple of minutes at best before they get distracted or"bored", lol! That's why you as an individual, (and this applies to everyone!), you absolutely MUST take into consideration the ENTIRE amount of information that is available and that you can find about any specific thing, before forming any kind of opinion about it... And even then, you ALSO have to then still realize that your own personal opinion or understanding of said topic, is just that... an OPINION, but not necessarily or absolutely the real and COMPLETE FACTS about said topic, so you can't (or at least shouldn't!) honestly claim that it is! Things like this have gotten SO bad nowadays, especially online, and *especially* on "(anti-)social media", that I am oftentimes inclined to say that modern society, with the way it seems to be getting more "degenerate" all the time, is totally doomed from here on out, but I am also an overall optimist, and I probably always will be, no matter what happens, so I will just say that it's going to be quite "interesting" to see what develops into the future, to say the least... We shall see, I don't hold my breath for anything, and literally NOTHING is ever an actual surprise anymore either, lol!... (I'm not sure if that's a "good" or bad thing... It is what it is...)

[@infinitedurr]

You're absolutely right, Courtney. AND, I'd say that you are doing an excellent job of modeling what a balanced person might be like in how they think and communicate, as well as what a securely attached person might look and sound like. I think that a huge percentage of the loud extremes we see online is likely coming from insecure attachment styles that are unaware of their own attachment wounds, and projecting that out onto the world rather than taking into account how their own wounds distort their view of the world. I see this on all sides; men and women, different aspects of political divides, etc.

[@BalanceOPower]

You are exactly right that we don't have to be extremely one direction or another. Most content has gone too far in their "left" or "right" stance and forgotten that we are a mixture of both. Balance if the key.

[@linkjs2006]

“I was wrong” is one of the hardest notions that a good portion of these women have to accept before they can finally do better for themselves

[@realmdarkness]

This is why i take a break from some of the man vs woman content, even great channels like yours. Even with debunking and calling out the absurdities in dating, you still see the the toxic women, etc and too much of that can seep into your subconscious and make you believe falsities like "all women are like this, etc". Still love your reasonable take on things though and will always come back

[@Justanothercog24]

​@Jason.Takes.Manhattanyou're unknowingly proving his point. The reality is the human mind operates on an element of confirmation bias. That means what you think/ believe/ focus on, your brain subconciously looks for ways to back up those beliefs & what you learn, you look for ways to apply the information (funny enough, internet algorithms are actually designed to operate the same way via clicks = you're shown more of that content" which is why algorithms can take ppl down some wild rabbit holes). This also subconciously dictates your own behavior & how you CHOOSE to interact with the world. So if you think "all women are..." you're going to treat all women a certain kind of way, completely ignoring the potential for nuance & their individual character or intentions. In order to find the outliers, you have to be willing to see & acknowledge that not all ppl are/ behave the same way. Same goes for women. At a certain point, YOU are the creator of your own vicious cycles & patterns.

[@marathoner43]

Men definitely have emotions. The big difference, especially in older generations (I'm definitely older than you and a lot of your viewers I'm sure), is that we were taught to suppress them from a young age. We were told not to express them. Keep them inside. Nobody cares how you feel. If someone asks how you're doing and you're having the worst day of your life, your response should be "Good." It's how older generations were raised. You learn to process them when you're alone. When you can't process them, suppress them, put on a happy face and move on. Whatever you do, don't express them because people can exploit your emotions if you express them, and besides no one cares. So, is that TikToker right? No she isn't. Men definitely have them. The difference is we don't express them, or we don't express them in the same way.

[@Leo-mr1qz]

My husband, (45 years old), will get busy when he is frustrated, angry, or indifferent about something. He has a fine time expressing positive emotions to our children, through humor, play, and hugs, but when it comes to vulnerability he shuts down. I think his upbringing had a lot to do with the way he processes and expresses his emotions.

[@jonnjones8263]

@@Leo-mr1qz Thats how it should be handled tbh.

[@Leo-mr1qz]

@@jonnjones8263 I know. That's why I married him. 😁

[@benliftin4awhile]

Unfortunately what you were taught is just the truth, the world’s most expendable resource is men.

[@daniela.nuness]

Great video! And I loved the point of people being "chronically online". Both niches nowadays, femininity and masculinity have extreme bubbles, where people generalize the other sex and create hatred over them basing their worldview in small online clips. Its insane and so imature. Thanks for bringing nuance and reality into the topic!

[@angelacosta466]

Courtney, thank you for advocating for us men. We do have emotions, we might not show them but sometimes if we don’t express them it hurts more. Clearly this woman has chose poorly or she doesn’t have the right set of values to attract a high value man.

[@meister-t]

She's frustrated because she got dumped. Again. And it's because she chooses the same type over and over again. She looks like one of those superficial gold-diggers, and there are men, who know that, and exploit those (this may or may not be true for this person, but I'm feeling confident that the part preceding that sentence does apply)

[@AnonymousProPublicaHakr]

Mom always said … women just say things lol.

[@RonaldGibson699]

Back in December 1995, there was a robbery at the restaurant where I worked. Of course, you are not supposed to fight back. After it was all over, as you might guess, I felt like a coward. I called a female friend that night and wound up crying about it. Yeah, I was a little embarrassed about showing vulnerability. But, in the long run, getting it off my chest did help me to feel better.

[@LisaFenton-h7f]

It was BRAVE for you to share your feelings about the robbery. I'm glad you weren't judged for risking vulnerability. BRAVO!

[@Citizen-by9vw]

Thanks, Courtney. Great video. I'm middle aged, so I have some life experience. I've cried my eyes out over a woman with the worst emotional pain I've ever experienced. I've had to console at least four very good friends, all of whom are tough guys (I'm not tough, but they are) when they've broken down crying over women. I've known family members who've been very depressed over losing women. Men definitely have emotions--trust me.

[@LisaFenton-h7f]

Good reality check that I know other women really need to hear. Thanks for being BRAVE & sharing this.

[@michaeluphoff4749]

The worst part about this TikTok is not only does the woman believe she is right when she takes the few to several bad experiences she has had with men (which were likely poor choices on her part but she refuses to hold herself accountable for them), but also the fact that modern young women will watch this and believe her.

[@nobodysperfect06]

I feel this changed my mindset and perspective on talking to or interacting with women, I read it on a forum, I thought the guy hit the nail right on the head. It changed my perspective and mindset on talking to women. A guy was asking for advice on how to get better at talking to women, and people used the word practice "It bothers and annoys, enrages me or pisses me off a lot when people use the word practice, because the way I see it, for women, there is no such thing as practicing talking to men, because women's lives are on autopilot when it comes to talking to men since puberty, due to all of the constant attention they've been getting since then, women are forced to, have no choice but to learn how to talk to men, and they gain it right away by doing nothing since they don't have to open their mouth first" I thought to myself, never truer words have been said or spoken. I thought that was bang-on right there. and i got a response from a dating coach on youtube, which enraged and pissed me off more, while I don't disagree with him, I just don't like how he said the brutal cold harsh fact of how different for men and women when it comes to getting better at talking to and interacting with the opposite sex. It makes sense and I like to believe there is far more advice for guys in the world on how to talk to and interact with girls then there is advice for girls on how to talk to and interact with guys. He said: "Don't worry about what other people don't have to do or why something is easier for them or whatever the comparison may be. Focus on you, where you want to be, what you need to do to get there and then get moving." That pissed me off more when I read that. Another reason why I don't like it is because it feels or seems like the way a guy talks and interacts with people or a guy's social skills, the way he behaves around others, has a much bigger impact on his attractiveness or ability to get a girlfriend then the other way around. As in, the way a girl talks or a girl's social skills doesn't impact her attractiveness or ability to get a boyfriend as much as it does for a guy to get a girlfriend. Men need to focus more on the behavioral aspect than women do when it comes to attracting someone it seems. The main reason why i hate that, is because guys, men, can unfortuneately be labeled creepy or weird in interactions or social situations with women, even if the guy, man, never meant any harm, was never trying to hurt the woman, the reverse isn't true though. The way a man talks or behaves in a conversation or in an interaction between a man and a woman is what makes or breaks attraction, not the other way around. And due to men always having been expected to walk up to women and open our mouth, it makes more sense for the man to need to practice but not the woman. If an interaction or conversation goes poorly or bad between a man and a woman,. It's always the guys fault, it's impossible for a woman to screw up a conversation or interaction with a guy, it seems., as in, make someone feel uncomfortable. Men have to do all the practicing and all the learning, women just have to exist and automatically have dudes lined up wanting to be with them, that doesn't take any training or practice or trial and error or learning

[@michaelhiebert2867]

When I hear that men don't have emotions I just chuckle a little bit. The real issue is whom can we just with those emotions! I believe that when I find someone compatible, I cant trust her with these emotions. I'm on this channel because I have not yet found someone, but I do have female friends whom I most certainly can trust with my emotions. This gives me hope. With real compatibility, I will be able to show her my authentic, emotional self.

[@Justanothercog24]

If you choose to not express yourself, you're not allowing them the opportunity to show that they can be trusted. You also prevent the opportunity for honest two-way communication which is a necessary element of building & maintaining a healthy relationship. That actually becomes a self-fullfilling prophecy & cycle of your own making. Being unwilling to give others the opportunity to show they can be trusted because of one's own trust issues is simply unaddressed baggage. Until you address your own trust issues, you're doomed to repeat the same cycles of not finding ppl who are compatible.

[@TSierra]

I was just gunna say that to! “Women can do that to” I was thinking to myself “but you’re also describing a woman” and then Courtney said what I was thinking lol

[@CourtneyRyan]

😂🔮

[@Sagefrakrobatik]

What a coincidence, I just watched two movies Stand by Me, where three out of the four boys cried and Marriage Story, in which Adam Driver'S character breakdown and starts to cry.

[@karuns9500]

Keep calling these bums out, Courtney. Theres a lot of bad stuff out there. You're the best!

[@CourtneyRyan]

🫡 xoxo

[@bros4654]

I've been trying to take a bit of a break from some of the KZbin content that i was watching. I was feeling a little angry and bitter. And when I thought about it, I didn't appreciate seeing that in myself. I was basically adopting other people's "trauma" or grievances, secondhand. So while it's important to understand our current society, and it's important to discuss these things.... we shouldn't make it our whole diet. Truth is, there's still lots of great people out there. We need to be wise as serpents, but gentle as doves.

[@user-fv7sy7kl4p]

Life before any social media was just great. I didn't hear everyone and their 2 cent opinion every 2 seconds. I deleted social media a year ago, and life instantly was better. The most social media content I see is here on these review videos by Courtney. In short, I'd definitely recommend ditching the social apps, and live your life.

[@mattyiceCA]

It boggles my mind how she can say men manipulate women while wearing a pound of makeup. So delusional!

[@Chrono826]

And a gallons worth of botox in her face/lips. Drawn on lashes. Fake nails....

[@dougbarnowski5224]

makeup doesnt help a they / them!

[@armandvega2752]

Bro makeup isn’t deceit or manipulation. Makeup is no different than a guy who gels his hair or wears a fancy tuxedo to a wedding. Makeup is a beauty enhancer. We all know that women look less attractive without makeup. The same way we all know men look less attractive when they don’t comb their hair. It’s common sense. Seriously this “makeup is manipulation” argument needs to die.

[@teresatennis]

Haha! 😂

[@LatimusChadimus]

I'm sorry, my biologically larger and more active frontal lobe is too busy solving problems than being concerned with my own feelings

[@andersnielsen6044]

So what you say is that you are still 5 years old?

[@Play_Dreams]

Lol, are men okay?

[@MikeyP109]

Is it trying to solve the problem you have with your feelings?

[@josesantana770]

Your limbic cortex was triggered emotionally with the message in the video then you start rationalizing your feelings.

[@bittersweetindustryexecutive]

...Said one mosquito to another: "Bro! "Did you hear that?" "We don't have a heart" "Who cares about that." "All we need is her blood." "I'm sorry, I don't want her blood." "I have standards." "Oh maaaan!" "Don't be so emotional." 😂 Cheers!✌

[@CSX8954]

It's quite interesting that those types of content creators would say that men don't have emotion or belittled a man for showing some emotions. God forbid if they have a brother, male cousin, dad, uncle, grandfather, or even the guy they're dating, take their own lives cause they're depressed and dealing with the stigma of suppressing their emotions, and I guarantee the same content creator would be singing a different tune. We all have to show some grace to each other and to all the guys like myself who deal with depression, never feel like you don't have room to express your emotions. You're human like everyone else.

[@ZmQuad]

I really appreciate costs how you (CCR) talk about emotional maturity here. I liken it to courage. Courage isn’t a lack of fear, but feeling the fear, correctly processing it, and then acting. It also reminds me of a good conversation/interview with Jordan Peterson, where he describes how a man SHOULD be dangerous. But being dangerous does not mean that you hurt things. Without fear, emotion, conflict, there is no journey to conquer them. Thank you for this video. You have a good one

[@Alpha0371]

Wow! This seems like it's addressed to me because I spend alot of time online. I'm not one of those people that is constantly texting 24/7 everyday and everywhere they go, because that really gets on my nerves, but I spend alot of time online on my laptop at home. After awhile, it starts to program your mind, unfortunately. It's our choice whether we program our minds with negative content or positive content though. Usually, it's negative content, because that's the narrative that gets pushed because it gets the most views, and therefore makes the creator more money.

[@slick8086]

As a kid growing up I learned a lot about emotions from Mr. Spock on Star Trek. The schtick was that Vulcans didn't have emotions, they were completely logical, and Spock was kinda seen be Vulcans as some kind of handicapper for being half human. The goal is to not let emotions run your life. When people use the term "emotional" as a pejorative, it is saying that the person is allowing their emotions to control their behavior. The most frequent and obvious time when most people may let their emotions control their behavior is through fear. When people get afraid they frequently act without thinking. I think it is everyone's first responsibility to be self aware (aware of your own present emotional state) and to use those emotions to inform and regulate your rational actions and behaviors.

[@elisteele574]

The problem is that the Internet gives people with very low intellectual skills a platform to spout off nonsense. Women use men and men use women. It's about who you choose. You got it exactly right, Courtney. Love your channel by the way, I think your nuanced and peaceful reactions are super refreshing.

[@SteelFanther]

My GF is so into me ... She even called me a symbol of masculinity ... She actually called me a dick ... - Moscow, Russia

[@johnmcfetridge3974]

"Women do that too". When you're in a lower state of mind life this woman alot of negative things are created. Unfortunately its addiction. Been online to much myself... I feel your mindset sets yourself apart. In a mood of jealously,lack or shame. Puts you in a very different place than if you're from a place of gratitude,empathy and compassion. Alot of peaple don't understand you. So way do we give them so much credit? So good Courtney!❤

[@jakekinzly5162]

When men show emotions, society punishes us be it with shaming and ridiculing us or depriving us of opportunities as letting our emotions control us shows that we can not be trusted to be that rational thought, that stoic rock that can get things done when the pressure is on. For men to show emotions puts a tremendous amount of risk to what we have built thus far in life and severely hampering our ability to build and obtain more in the future. A man that shows emotions becomes a pariah in society at large. Even emotions that seem like they shouldn’t have any negative impact on us like actively showing off being joyful just sets us up to be scammed or tricked or we are looked at like we are the ones that are giving off an inauthentic trusting impression when in fact we could be the ones looking to scam or trick someone. Basically it comes down to this. To show emotions means you are putting yourself at risk to loose more than you gain. Since it’s so difficult for men to get ahead in life, the risk is simply too great to ignore and it’s better off just suppressing your emotions and keep your mind busy working on your craft, your passion, your purpose and if you absolutely need to vent, you do it behind closed doors with close male friends and maybe family. But absolutely never show to your significant other your emotions unless you want them to loose attraction toward you. I’ve seen countless times across all areas in life be it family, friends and random people on and off line where as soon as the man show emotions, he gets raked over the coals and pays for it dearly. It’s not a surprise that men are very wary with it comes to expressing what we desire or what is bothering us because time after time across many cultures and periods in time men were more often than not severely punished to the point where it can have substantial consequences that put their future in great risk of loosing everything they obtained and loose the ability to rebuild it all back again. It’s simply not worth it.

[@toenytv7946]

Word! Girl! Nailed it. Choose wisely part of a solution or problem. Ying and Yang, Men and women, black and white. Proactive and reactive. It takes a willingness to understand. communication and kindness is a key.

[@popofilipo7114]

This is a very dangerous kind of mind setting belief and very toxic. She's not thinking right. Words that she's choosing on her some kinda motivation speech will influence and poisons the mind of those young innocents generations to follow and not knowing anything about in a relationship with others yet. Bad influence not setting a good example using the media to spread her hateful thoughts. This also goes out to men as well, vise versa. Another perfect example why media some times has errors are those individuals like this saying all men are evil or all women are no good. It's just too depressing and unhealthy. So glad and appreciates that we have the one and only... Courtney! 🙏 giving us hope n yes there are good spirit mature healthy minded women out there. I remember that she said she ain't the expert on some of the topics in the conversation but she definitely hundred percent MASTERED her craft leading, guiding ,helping setting good examples and expending her wisely mature minded thinking. Super knowledgeable pinpointing the situation and Clearfield it with a good healthy manners. Also calls out those who are unbelievably fools.

[@miguelangelmorales645]

I truly don’t feel. I don’t react to anything. I’m strong, don’t cry, unafraid, stand up for myself and I am fine.

[@kydrauhl]

Unrelated note Courtney, I took your advice for my first date and she wants a second date already!!! I want to say you have a way with words that just have this; common ground, a good way to compromise while also giving space and taking space. Your words and advice give me the ability to be able to see what you mean with your examples. It was successful and tbh its all thanks to your advice. Thank you!!!

[@CourtneyRyan]

Oh my goodness this makes me so happy to hear! Thanks for sharing and best of luck to you 😊

[@keiththompson8021]

You sound great. Love your perspective. The intro was bomb. I like "stop the video and comment Courtney." Bring her out some more. And as for "Men vs. The Men You Choose." That is home run material. You really have a series of topics to explore there. I hope you share your opinions, following your due diligence. One of my favorite segments of yours. Thank you Courtney!

[@williamrogers547]

I really enjoy your videos. You are a very intelligent and perceptive young woman, and I hope that you will continue to keep up your good work. I am an older man, who grew up in the 1950's. Boys were encouraged to suppress their emotions; crying was reserved for girls. When I became a young adult, I was accused of being cold, hard-hearted and always much too serious. I have experienced a lot of both joy and sorrow in my life, much of which was shared with my deceased wife of 40 years. When I have a disappointing experience, such as rejection, whether for a job I wanted or a woman who I liked, I make the best of it, and try to learn something from it. Men are emotional, but we learn to mostly keep them to ourselves and only show them to people who we trust.

[@joshlowell3075]

“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.” ― Marcus Aurelius , Meditations

[@josesantana770]

Based on that, all opinions are debatable and all opinions are right at the same time.

[@joshlowell3075]

All opinions are not facts, therefore they cannot be right unless they are facts.@@josesantana770

[@winged99]

I think something that's easily overlooked with these short-form videos (the woman Courtney'd reacting to, not Courtney's work) is the Poster's cultural context. I imagine there are some places around the world where your experience as a woman could lead to feelings like this. It doesn't justify the stereotyping or negative filter, but just points out that it's difficult to draw objective conclusions from this short-form model.

[@stevenwallace773]

I only get shamed for my feelings by women. ONLY by women. Mom, sisters, coworkers, strangers on the street, strangers on the internet.... it doesn't matter. I grew up in a household with all women (mom and 3 sisters). Where do you think i learned this?!

[@bittersweetindustryexecutive]

@Steven Wallace It might not be of much help but I'm sincerely wishing you the best of luck in life, brother! Cheers!✌

[@jaystucky845]

As men, we collectively believe some sort of analog that "if women were more rational then we would get along." We have walked our way into this mindset so blindly that a slogan of "facts don't care about your feelings" can be monetized exponentially. Yet, we never consider that the opposite is also true, their feelings don't give a rip about your facts. Harmony can only be found between those extremes, between those "toxic" ideals.

[@tod3msn]

Even before the rapid growth of the internet the content of masculinity and femininity had expanded to include silliness. I recall dating someone who criticized me saying I was not as masculine as she liked because I was respectful to her (that was my impression of her point). I didn’t know who she had gone out with but I’m going to be a gentleman and I’ll find someone who values that so I moved on. Our society has these stereotypes of how all men are or all women are which is not accurate.

[@wizeguy2388]

Most women I have come across say that if a man shows any emotion, she will think he's weak and will never want to be with him. And if they're already together, she will leave him. Men are not allowed to have emotions, especially if it means his wife will leave him if he shows any. No wonder men are self deleting at an alarming rate

[@daveseff1]

I've had depression issues my entire life. I've been on lock down. I know how my life ends....

[@frankkoja6263]

When I have a bad experience with a girl, I never generalise all women. Each person is different!

[@MessageInABottle869]

Absolutely we talk about emotions like it’s a bad thing and whether you like or not we all have them. I don’t mind open up as long it is done on my own terms and pace. I have done the mistake twice to open up before I was ready and the only reasons were because I felt pressured to do it and they wanted me to. But the good thing is that you can learn from your mistakes.

[@scottclark3761]

I have been saying for a while now that neither masculinity nor femininity are toxic. People using these concepts to excuse otherwise inexcusable beahvoir is toxic. I was so glad to hear you address it. It may be true that men and women experience emotions differently. But I am also getting sick of this underlying subtext that men are somehow broken women. We can be different. It's ok. Desirable, even.

[@Pumpkinhead77]

When she says men don't have feelings, she's really saying she doesn't have empathy for men.

[@maikelchao9296]

Also for my experience Everytime I have open up to a woman about my emotions it was used against me after 2 wife and hundreds of woman I have dealt with in the 47 years on this earth... the opposite sex most of the the time will use it against you. Im trying to move away from the negative but that has been my truth in the pass, good luck man and woman

[@AchmedComedy_]

This video makes me wanna go back to blasting Dax’s To Be a Man. It captures a lot of men’s struggles. The mega mix is amazing. Thanks again Court!

[@SharifSourour]

You’re on point in every way. The alphas, which are about 10-25% of men I believe are the ones who get about 80-90% of women intimately. That’s why when comparing women’s generalizations about men with reality they come off sounding heavily skewed and inaccurate. What we do know for sure is it’s easier for a woman to get a man than the other way around, that’s why so few men are succeeding to be intimate with women while women usually have a much easier time achieving some level of personal intimacy with men. This creates vey biased and myopic views thinking that niche of lady adept represent all men, when that’s the opposite of the truth! Women have all the edge yet considering that these kind of complaints show some of them are not actually always competent in this area, a good amount are apparently spoiled with options and go for the allure and charm without always checking the facts about the man.

[@sibarra417]

I was told to never scratch a bug bite

[@Guigley]

Well said, Courtney. The Internet is not real life. Our smartphones are not real life. There's a lot of good people in the real world who get overshadowed by the angry, bitter narcissists making all the noise.

[@michaeljjt1976]

The best way to get off of social media without deleting them entirely is to just leave your phone at home sometimes. I went out for 3 hours yesterday without my phone (on purpose) and it was the best 3 hours of my week. Completely disconnected. And when I went to work, i put my phone in my bag that was inaccessible to me while i was working, instead of having it in my pocket

[@baddolphin1423]

Everything has to be an extreme. Because of the algorithm. Humans obedience training by platform robots. This is what's going on in 2023: regular content, not quality, and views/engagements, as much as possible. For those ads. This is why I started using ad blockers since 2014, when Susan took over KZbin. I get it, it's about tik-tok, which I never had first hand contact because whatever can be good on youtube, has no chance over there, it's for simple-minded, enrolled in obedience training children. Obedience to the algorithm. Great job humanity...

[@thethesaxman23]

I think something that contributes a lot to the "men don't have emotions" stereotype is the fact that most men express their emotions differently than women. The stereotype seems to come from women expecting men to express their emotions the way they do. Because many women don't recognize or relate to how men process their emotions, they just assume men don't have any. While most women deal with their feelings by sharing them with others, I think men tend to be more introspective with our feelings. Also , the "fix it" approach to problems (that women all love so much :D ) is actually very effective in dealing our own emotions.

[@WriterProfessor]

I teach teenagers, so take what I say to the bank: a person’s bizarre online behavior definitely spills into their regular or “real” life.

[@WriterProfessor]

PS: The denial of accountability for choices has its roots DEEP in online culture-everyone remembers when advocacy groups stated using social media as a weapon and getting to repost their posts, right? How many times, when you asked one of these reposters to explain and defend the position they were endorsing, did they respond with a denial of accountability for the position?

[@LightsCameraJake]

God that woman pissed me off. I Dont show emotion because every time I do im looked at as somebody week. I bottle them up and I have almost hurt myself or worse. I just want affection and love but its thrown in my face by both men and woman. Society collectively hates men, even men hate other men for being vulnerable. Its pathetic and very sad.

[@davidchambers44]

This is a huge problem in general where people take their bad experiences and apply them to everyone, because it's easier to blame everyone of a particular group than to take the time to analyze each person/case individually. This only reinforces many people's already negative viewpoints on dating. Which is a major reason why it has gotten so bad in the first place.

[@jamesjonnes]

It has gotten so bad because we stopped shaming promiscuity.

[@laurengalan2760]

That woman isn’t in touch with the truth. You are right, suppressing emotion will fuel a persons imagination to go in some really warped directions. I experienced this when I was unhappy at boarding school, I stopped functioning. I do not like people who are dogmatic and un agile in their emotions and thinking. I love nuance.

[@wnlimalcolm]

Men showing emotion is unattractive to women. Well, all of our emotions, showing satisfaction, sensuality, and a little anger is attractive. Showing sadness, true joy…. We’re seen as weak or childish. While lonely and treating depression I have to put on my mask and hide my feelings to ever have a chance. People don’t want to see your real emotions, they want to see the emotions they want you to have.

[@Max1musPrime]

Men definitely have emotions, but need to have control over them. If we don’t have control over our emotions we are doomed to fail in more ways than one.

[@williamphelps3915]

I've lost count of how many times a woman has told me "Men don't have feelings ".

[@The4Tifier]

For people like this, I like to say, "Birds of a feather flock together". If the only type of people that you attract are awful people, then that's a huge warning sign that *you* are doing something wrong and *you* need to change yourself to stop that from happening.

[@Ryan66437]

Not certain about all men, but certainly without a real connection being established prior to any intimate interactions, it really does feel like scratching an itch to me. There is no meaning to it without a real relationship and it ironically doesn't even scratch the itch. In my experience, it isn't truly intimate without a close relationship to begin with. Actually, now I'm wondering if that mis-ordering of the process is the real problem. Catch being that everyone has a hard time establishing deep emotional connections.

[@bazookacat8421]

Women express every emotion they feel in the moment, so I get why they think we're emotionless because we don't. Emotions are biological nudges (fear, anger, pain, etc.). We have them all, but courage is acting despite emotion not because of it. Show me a guy charging into battle, and I'll show you a man afraid. Show me a man moving on from a breakup and I'll show you pain. It's all there. But if we stayed in the throws of it, nothing would get done.

[@trevorbeal2424]

I think this girl is correct that men can compartmentalize a sexual relationship but where she falls short in her assessment is that many man can become emotionally attached when they find a woman that they connect with on a deeper than physical level. But where I disagree with her is that women can compartmentalize sex too: example prostitution, stripping, marrying for money only, using men for money, having multiple sexual partners at the same time and lying to men that they are the father of a child to garner child support payments. These are all non emotional responses to a situations that feel to the other party as emotional.

[@mheuman]

I'm with you in that the creators are choosing unsuitable people and projecting their experiences onto all men or women. I view these videos with a skeptical eye anyway just because i think they're all skewed to fit a particular viewpoint. We have to rely on our own experiences anyway. Thank you for this dicussion!

[@WriterProfessor]

Everyone has emotions-it is how you channel those emotions that matters.

[@fen3844]

When men say women are more emotional than men it just means women in general are emotional first and logical 2nd, it doesn't mean men don't feel emotions. Its just we express it differently and we can't express it like women do coz it can be dangerous for us and for them or for the relationship in general. If we express it, it can be weaponized against us or it can be received negatively like either a turn off or a sign of weakness in terms of masculine dependability and it can be with any woman and her level of tolerance and any man wouldn't be able to tell when that will start, wether earlier or later on in the relationship. So its basically a gamble if we express it like woman do. We rather express it to other men that we trust who understands masculine problems and the male experience or redirect it physically like working out, competitive sports or combat sports, or the shooting range. Thats what emotional regulation is for men. We do cry but its either alone or to mom and dad or a brother or trusted male friend.

[@ADHJkvsNgsMBbTQe]

As a male empath, I frequently find myself in the position of counselor to my male friends and interpreter to their female companions. I can absolutely testify that the woman in the TT video is tragically, abjectly, almost criminally wrong. Men truly do have feelings and emotions but too often if they reveal that about themselves they are received negatively, punished, and their openness is weaponized against them. For some who have not had the benefit of male role models who provided learning experiences about male perspectives, feelings, and emotions, it can be difficult for them to even recognize their own and even more difficult to communicate. People who hold such egregiously awful attitudes towards men like this TTer make the difficulties orders of magnitude worse. As Courtney pointed out, some men end up feeling so low they end their lives prematurely - a permanent action for a temporary problem, please get help! Sadly, the TTer comes across as (1) someone who has been hurt and (2) as someone who is repeating something she has been told without thinking it through for herself. I hope she gets help and education.

[@CoachSteveJandS]

"Attached" by Heller & Levine is the seminal work on attachment theory...

[@robertherlihy917]

Thank god you're focusing on the underlying issues Courtney. God bless you and your efforts.

[@timothydiehl8520]

Look up Nora Vincent’s book “Self Made Man”, the account of a lesbian who dressed, worked, lived, and dated like a man for 18 months. Among her many observations about men is that sex for men is a biological function. 4:26

[@Moshm4n]

It used to be we go online to escape real life. Now we retreat to real life to escape being online.

[@anonemaus159]

Yes!! It's the men you choose. But you can only choose from the men that choose you. So what you present determines who chooses you. And then when they see through your facade, they unchoose you. (That's another word for dumping)

[@tjbroussard3524]

Men have emotions. We tend to translate, coup, and process via action. Awareness of that warrants a healthy respect and need for self control. Not that self control can't be taken too far but I know it seems easy to say talk about it out loud but it seldom does many guys well to be in their head as opposed to taking what's in their head to some tangible thing. Then able to look at it critically. Anger and sadness requiring a bit more critical thinking and channeling into productive action. People tend to spin it as bottling up but that's not necessarily so. We process it through the action (hopefully correctly and safely). There will be some things that require a different angle but most are as I've mentioned.

[@derrickmccann8254]

These Femininity and Masculine videos are going way too far. I means men becoming women women becoming men this madness has to be stopped

[@RubenRivera-kb8vt]

War exists because we cannot live peacefully with each other and have no heart

[@josesandoval6531]

I’m so tired of these extreme versions of feminism and red pill “manosphere” trash

[@CourtneyRyan]

Me too 😭

[@anthonyjones8007]

I say this Men in background were told to man up don’t fear it when you suppress your emotions the pressure goes out of control like anger and sadness in the process at the same time I don’t think it’s wise to say men or women don’t have emotions we all do but we expressed them differently then women. The social contingent is affected men and women from content that have war with men and women like certain individuals in that particular movement like metwo and mgtow I agree and disagree the only issue of the name call is that I do agree with Courtney but with me I had a pretty girl that I wanted to get to know after I tried to date her but in my experience she denied me turning into a date with her then when I did not accept any thing we did as a date she lied to my best friends that I was her ex boyfriend. In my mind like how can I be her ex boyfriend if we have not dated. I only consider a date when a gentleman pays for the food. If a woman pays it is not date just friends getting together as good friends but I have lost my first job because of this status mindset where everyone thinks their the prize 🏆 which is supposed to be admired for short amount of time this mindset that most of us think of. Like it or not this mindset will mask who you truly are then you want every thing handed to you as a silver platter that type of thing will destroy your relationship or get you burned out. In my experience I have learned to never settle for any red flags individuals my mind is like this great power becomes great responsibility and you must be accountable for your own actions and decisions you make this is the best way to describe it these types of individuals are rare to come by they are like diamonds 💎 did you know the diamonds people are fractured and chip but they all so be mended the prize 🏆 cannot be mended when it crumbles into the dust. Think and tread carefully of what you attacked

[@Mr.Meme1885]

I agree! People should take a break from social media, and your fans should start with you... first. What does it feel like to know that you have manipulated your fans into believing that your sole purpose is to help them? Does it bother you, Ms Ryan, to know that some people can see through your fake semblance?

[@SargeMorris]

What happens when you notice the problem first in real life, first? The problem with telling people, "Oh, no one actually thinks like that, its just online," is that's absolutely false. I first noticed a lot of these problems in reality, and that's a lonely, isolating experience, especially when everyone tells you that you're just seeing things or its all in your head. And that's where these online communities come from. Its a bunch of lonely, isolated people who find solace and comfort in their online communities because they're alienated by people IRL who gaslight them.

[@Octobersky7]

That woman just described the absolute opposite of me lol. Im sorry she had those experiences.

[@AncientTrogloxene]

Well done. The problem may be less too much time online as it is too much creator motivation based on monetization and attention. Too much of the content in these spaces seems to be variations on fairly standard narratives that prominently feature archetypes. The click count, subscriber levels, and monetization seem to drive catering to audience demographics, with competition for eyes & clicks helping drive progression into extremism. Men are emotional. As you noted, that leads to suicide. The emotionality also leads to domestic abuse, which may also feature displaced aggression. Men have long been notably more successful at suicides than women. That has helped foster the narrative that suicide attempts are cries for help. Some of the suicide attempts seem less cries for help than demands for attention (of they type they want), which supports your recognition early in this presentation that women can also be manipulative.

[@stevenwallace773]

Talk about being reactionary. The number of times a man has hit me first in an argument 1. The number of times a woman has hit me first in an argument 1000+ times. That's because the man knows that I can hit back, and the woman knows that I can't. If I wanted to be emotional and just react I would have hospitalized a few of those women and gone to prison. It's just not an option

[@BGS22202]

The reason why women don’t consider that it’s the men they choose and not “all men” is that this would make them accountable, which is anathema to that sex.

[@brego12317]

Your absolutely right Courtney. It's your choices. Everything you said is perfect. Right on.