Single at 38 & Rejected By Matchmaker But Everyone Else Is The Problem

[@lorenhamstra5964]

The matchmaker told her more truth in an hour than her therapist did in ten years.

[@moonbalancedd]

I feel bad for the therapist. The only choice they have is to say "yes you're right".

[@MichelleRubery-e3i]

Exactly.

[@johncarlson6472]

Well said. If Therapists told female clients what they needed to hear (accountability), they (Therapists) would go broke. I'd bet all this "type A" harpy's Therapist did for 10 years was let her vent and then happily cash her checks.

[@Drothen-]

So trueeeeeeee

[@jenniferlorence185]

The "matchmaker" Sells a false IMAGE to her MALE CLIENTS. Real MEN Do Not Get intimidated by what the Woman said, but everybody goes into relationships these days; With a MASK that this Woman is Not willing to Wear. My hats off to her for THAT.

[@MyNameIsNotCraig]

The fact that this match maker turned down this woman as a client is actually proof that she is deserving of her certification.

[@ralphlazio505]

Yep; for sure. The matchmaker is smart because she rather not deal with the headache that this narcissist, client is going to create in the future.

[@anthonyml7]

I mean at 38 her prospects are pretty low, not too many guys at that age range who don't want to get married and have kids, and the fact that she's making herself look like a party clown with that makeup also doesn't help.

[@ralphlazio505]

@anthony - It’s not her age, because she’s still young enough to have children; it’s not her make up because she’s attractive; it’s her terrible attitude that is causing the damage. It’s her attitude that’s killing her chances of ever finding a mate. She’s a blind, entitled narcissist .

[@SGTSLACKASS]

The fact that this women had been in therapy for 10 years and is still going just shows how horrible she is. This is the problem with women in therapy they learn nothing and it turns them into grandiose malignant narcissist.

[@MKULTRA_Victim_]

Exactly! She could have taken her on a ride for thousands of $$$ but she turned that down because she knew it wouldn’t workout!

[@MensCareerCoach]

Insufferable is really a perfect word that describes this woman

[@Ken-xr2xp]

Instant put off

[@JohnWesterh-v7b]

This woman said she’s been in therapy for ten years? No wonder her dating coach turned her down

[@kpeggs82]

Whoo is a personality trait that speaks to your propensity to draw people in, captivate, or be relatable. Someone that says I have my walls up by default won’t have much whoo.

[@stpfs9281]

@@kpeggs82 "Shields up, Captain!"

[@JabbaTheAmerican]

Jumping straight to "she said I'm unworthy of love" is some IMAX-level projecting

[@ElMartilloBlanco]

And calling the matchmaker dangerous, while saying that she should lose her license for something she didn't even say lol.

[@polymathica]

All the matchmaker really said is “you are not compatible with anyone in the pool of men I have”.

[@aluisious]

@@ElMartilloBlanco There's no licensing for matchmakers.

[@aluisious]

@@polymathica "I wouldn't inflict what you're doing to me right now on my clients."

[@ElMartilloBlanco]

@@aluisious That's fine, but my point is the woman calling her matchmaker dangerous is also saying her matchmaker should lose her livelihood just because she doesn't agree with her. It's blind hypocrisy.

[@ajtaylor8750]

If a professional matchmaker is telling you that you're undatable, and you STILL struggle to look inward, then you're definitely the problem. This woman fails to take ANY accountability.

[@CourtneyRyan]

Agreed 😵‍💫

[@devilsadvocacy]

I'm a lawyer, and when I see clients like her coming, I duck and cover. And I've had some pretty dangerous sociopaths and BPDs in my office

[@yanbaihuzxzxzx]

​@@devilsadvocacyoh shit I bet a lawyer could see it plain as day. Thinking we need to hire a lawyer when you go dating, would really breakdown the dating/relationship/marriage and child raising. Probably save about 20 years into a 20 min consultation lol 😂

[@devilsadvocacy]

@@yanbaihuzxzxzx My #1 piece of advice is not to sign that contract. Do not get married. Everything else involves a lesser degree of risk which you may or may not want to take

[@jice7074]

The matchmaker? The bigger red flag 🚩is the 10 years of seeing a therapist and behaving this way. Does the therapist feel this woman is a success story?

[@sstidman]

She has a stressed out, unyielding, combative, and cold energy. I don't know anyone who would want a partner like that.

[@mle1872]

Masochists

[@gravityissues5210]

“Love me the way I am.” A shorter version of the infamous “if you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.” I always like to retort with, “well, when I’m sober and not stressed that I gambled away the rent, I’m a very sweet guy.”

[@yaimavol]

Plus she looked well into her 40's. Not ageing well.

[@peteywheatstraws4909]

Puppies will settle for a partner like that.

[@JjackVideo]

Forgot: "Old".

[@avlifesavers]

She doesn't want a doormat, but will destroy any man that disagrees with her in the slightest. There is no man that is right for her. The matchmaker dodged a bullet.

[@andrewtongue7084]

A bullet you say ? More closely akin to an entire artillery barrage !

[@jrlanger42]

the matchmaker also knew that lady would try using her as a doormat too. Every week and a half calling her up "I'm not sure I'm happy with the level of service you're providing me. I've done a lot of soul searching and it just seems like I'm not a priority to you. Is this how you choose to run your business? You can be sure I will be telling my friends, of which I have MANY, that I am VERY disappointed in your 'match making' ability!"

[@JabbaTheAmerican]

You are a leader, but you also want me to be a leader, but only when you want me to be, and I'm supposed to just know when those times are. Yep, I can see the line of guys waiting for their shot at her right now from my window.

[@garthpowell6435]

The matchmaker charges a lot, but it is still not enough for the task of cleaning up raw sewage.

[@marcp.1752]

That kind of women is - lady, there's the door, bye-bye.

[@Tgogators]

Close your eyes and just listen to when she says "I would chew them up and spit them out." She's so proud of herself.

[@wanda520]

Yes! Lots of male energy here.

[@philipreasons3298]

I don’t want to confuse Male energy and hate. That is just pure disdain for the weakness of a broken person.

[@Tgogators]

@@philipreasons3298 it’s more of how she is saying: catty, vein, and mean natured. And sort of in a tone that it would be a turn on to a guy. I’m willing to bet that’s sort of the mindset she looks for in a guy, and thinks that’s what men look for in women.

[@philipreasons3298]

@@Tgogators I think we are pretty much in the same place . Just focused on different aspects . It’s like saying there’s a big project do you want windows or floors?

[@aluisious]

@@wanda520 No? I'm confident in myself but I don't go around talking about how I'd chew up and spit out romantic partners. That's kind of sick in the head.

[@LouisaWatt]

I mean, she essentially paid for feedback and advice from a dating professional, but then rejected all that advice because it didn’t confirm her self image. She says she’s a “type-A leader” but that could be code for being aggressive and inflexible with others, which is what she sounds like.

[@michasokoowski6651]

And then she says she wants a leader... I can only imagine how much drama there would be...

[@Microphunktv-jb3kj]

so called "type a" .. specially Leaders.. would never have problems socializing with people or attracct a lot of people... look how old she is.... wait... 38 ?????? hjahahahahaha how the f that hag is 38... :DDDDDDDDDD ffs im 38.. and im 61 year old mother looks younger than her.... well it makes sense... if she's 38... and looks so worn out.... pretty red flag for most men.... cant have children with her and ,ooks 20 years older ... than biological age...

[@fatisummer9106]

She is not a dating coach ,she is a matchmaker, there is different ,not her place to give her advices until she actually finds her a match

[@alexandermccall227]

​@@fatisummer9106 It is her job to make sure the people she works with are set up for success. The matchmaker would've done this woman I disservice, allowing her to get rejected by any potential matches.

[@aluisious]

@@fatisummer9106 You're obtuse. This woman needs a matchmaker to find a matchmaker.

[@vizio32]

“Just because you are 38 it doesn’t mean you have the skills to be in a committed relationship”. Damn

[@ordaineddoodle4970]

Yeah, this lady really told on herself. Stunning. True relationships require work - inward and outward.

[@grahambrown1980]

She’s ALSO 38! She’s yesterday’s newspaper! 😁😆

[@leekar3]

This woman has probably moved around and exhausted the pool of guys available to her. She is a HARD AVOID.

[@MrSparklespring]

​@grahambrown1980 Yep, too little too late.

[@sharonharris9782]

​@@grahambrown1980you think a 38 year old is yesterdays news? That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Talk about being mysognistic

[@MarkTrueblood]

Note how she just invented all kinds of grievances about what the matchmaker “meant” rather than her plainspoken language. Imagine dating someone like her and all the bizarre accusations you’d get every day.

[@sole__doubt]

Years ago it would be seen as a mental illness to be so paranoid but these days its just seen as a personality quirk.

[@cisium1184]

I mean I get it. The woman isn't stupid, she knows what the matchmaker really _meant_ was, "I'm not going to risk harming my reputation as a matchmaker by associating itself with someone like you." Hell, I'd be mad if a matchmaker said that to me. But after I calmed down, I would have the proverbial "talk with Jesus." This woman floated a tiktok to fish for compliments instead.

[@sole__doubt]

@@cisium1184 Why would you be mad that the match maker pointed that out to you? The only person you can control is yourself so she should be seeing it as a good thing b/c she cant control what other people do. She can always change her behavior if she wants to.

[@ianleary5780]

Just imagine

[@joejkd82]

"Type A" is code for disagreeable and unreasonable, just like "free spirit" means selfish and aloof

[@soulsharts]

She's the type that never, under any circumstance, stops playing games. If you were to date her, you would never find peace in your life.

[@petep5207]

BINGO. She is an agent of chaos. Honestly, nearly all of the mare. But 5 seconds in, was really all I needed to realize this female is a psychopath. I could totally see her in the Eminem/Rihanna video for the song "Love The Way You Lie". I wager my life and my mama's that this is the type of female who thinks arguing, clawing and disrespecting each other constantly is "love". She is literally a drama major...with a minor in batshit crazy.

[@sunmoonstars0369]

I work with a woman like this its all about control and headgames you can almost smell it.

[@MessageInABottle869]

She doesn’t have red flags, she IS the red flag.

[@moleahy6880]

Well said.

[@lawyeresq1984]

Sadly, there are so many like her

[@NerdlySquared]

Shrill, entitled, unlikable, cold, combative, very masculine (yes she is Courtney), vindictive, vengeful, annoying, self righteous, insufferable tyrant that looks like she’s 55 even before 40. I can’t imagine a crueler sentence for anyone than being stuck with someone this.

[@noserialkiller3596]

Totally. She is nasty. So glad I'm alone. No Serial Killer.

[@tehlaziness]

Kinda like how I imagine she thinks she is the table 😂

[@infinitedurr]

This woman shows exactly how a narcissist responds when their fragile ego has been wounded

[@grepora]

All things considered, she took it well for a narcissist -- it must be her self discipline.

[@PATISLAV]

Yes, especially the fact that she hears something completely different than what has been said. She hears much more hurtful stuff, instead of "hey, until you change it's not likely you will have succesful relationship", she hears "you are not worthy". This makes her reject the idea. This is how narcissists operate their whole life and therefore are unable to change their pattern unless you treat them very, very stoically and tactically.

[@d3ltaking419]

She will be still single 10 years from now and so on

[@Mezaph]

JFC. This has nothing do with narcissim.

[@elodarya]

@@Mezaph people just love to throw around words and labels without fully understanding what they mean

[@jatbatman]

Anyone that describes themselves as "type a" is going to be one of the most difficult people you'll ever meet. The fact she said it multiple times is a red flag in itself.

[@byteresistor]

More like type n. N for narcissist.

[@jatbatman]

@@byteresistor yep pretty much.

[@resistancerat]

Anyone describing themselves as "Type A" better be a USB.

[@ThatGuy182545]

My mother used to say “I’m a Taurus!” She used this as an excuse for literally every single time she was too stubborn to listen when I tried to get her to take steps to change her life for the better. She lived in a government housing walk up. She started having falls that caused her mobility issues. I tried to get her to move when the falls started, because there was no elevator and her mobility was declining, and I knew it was going to get worse. Finally she fell and broke her hip. She was a shut in. The waiting list for assisted living is years long. She started whining about being stuck inside most of the time. I kept reminding her that she could’ve started the process of moving when I suggested it and she might have a place to go to. She was taking physio for her hip. She would tell me these glowing reviews about how well she was doing. I would talk to her therapist and he would tell me that she refuses to do stairs, and she refuses to do this, and she refuses to do that. She would get pissed and yell “I’m a Taurus.” I finally realized that I couldn’t help her, and I had to give up for my own sanity. Women will use anything as a crutch to get out of accountability for their own actions.

[@jatbatman]

@@ThatGuy182545 yeah astrology is another example for sure.

[@lanamuir9352]

I agree with Courtney 100%. I have met women who are a Type A and believe me, they are not a joy to be around for other women or men. I admire the matchmaker who told this client the truth. That is one brave matchmaker. I am one of those women who is like steel inside of a velvet glove. Strong on the inside and soft on the outside. I've worked on being a better "me" each and every day over the years and I am so happy to have done the work.

[@calrey]

Type A men and women are the absolute worst personalities to work with, hands down. Can't stand them. They are not team players. They are too combative and just sabotage teams and/or projects. And they destroy their families over time.

[@ronintje7647]

That matchmaker was merely protecting her client base as no man who is paying her for her service would appreciate being matched with her. It wasn't bravery but common sense that made her reject her.

[@lolife1981]

kudos.

[@davebellamy4867]

5:07 The woman charged her 350 bucks to tell her she is basically beyond help. I would happily have done that for $200.😂

[@Mannymd]

The forehead tap by CR was hilarious.

[@andrewtongue7084]

Ouch ! 😂

[@Cucumberflavoredmustard]

I would have done it for a 6pack of Coors.

[@jessicascoullar3737]

This is the problem with the current job market, people willing to work for less than they are worth. Charge market rates to out the obnoxious.

[@LFDNC]

I’d do it for free.

[@kaunas888]

I am getting very strong vibes that this woman is highly neurotic, full of anger and probably has a lot of childhood trauma. She does not want to face this pain, so she constantly deflects, and justifies her up tight and tense personality as a Type A personality. Many successful leaders are actually calm and not a bundle to nerves like she is.

[@michasokoowski6651]

That's why matchmaker was asking about meditation, it's basically an exercise to vent your inner anger.

[@MrScrofulous]

They don't have childhood trauma. They have childhood entitlement.

[@heatherstacy2976]

Anyone who would take advantage of/mistreat a gentle person (regardless of sex) is not a good human being. It's one thing to not find it attractive, but a completely different thing to be like "yeah, my first action would be to destroy that."

[@HisCoconutGun]

"Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me." - Matthew 25:40. The way a person treats the most gentle people says alot about them.

[@briantassone9175]

This is a very good point, @heatherstacy2976 What this clueless woman fails to see is that the matchmaker identified poor character traits within her and chose not to deal with her because of it.

[@HkFinn83]

Of all her red flags, I didn’t even notice that one😂

[@6lake.]

I think it's important to note that in regards to men - seeing as this is a woman who's upset with her position with men - being gentle does *not* mean you are weak, a doormat, or willing to be mistreated. I've come to learn I'm probably considered "gentle" - meaning I'm quite reserved, speak when necessary, and overly respectful of boundaries (I won't force an encounter if it hasn't been made apparently clear it's appropriate to do so). However, I'm also not afraid to walk away at the first sign of mistreatment. I'm not keen on being aggressive, rude, insulting, or forcefully dominant over my girlfriend, so if that's what she's looking for - goodbye. I think most "gentle" men would do the same. That's probably why she's still alone. She's confusing abuse with masculinity/alpha-ness.

[@michaeljensen4650]

Well said!

[@hughejass9461]

This woman is the type of person you are introduced to at a party and after five minutes of being talked over, you'd walk away to get a drink and never return. She is so full of herself I'm surprised she can even fit into a room. Plus, ten years in therapy doesn't seem to be helping. Very informative video.

[@abdelhamidsherif4995]

More like one minute

[@aluisious]

She's the kind of woman I'd talk to at a party and say "excuse me, I just realized I need to go do my taxes."

[@HaggisMuncher-69-420]

I had this exact same thing happen to me, except, she was a friend of a girl my buddy was trying to do his thing with. I tried my hardest to wing my buddy but, my god, it was soul draining. I told her that I found her utterly boring and walked away. Was one of the first times I really draw a line and walked away from a girl. Still feels good, even 15 years later.

[@katharineharrison9091]

The fact that this woman put on social media a video of why a matchmaker turned her down has just secured her future as single.

[@annafife9094]

I don't see a confident woman who believes she is good enough as she is, I see a woman who is tired and afraid. She gave it away with the casual aside that she doesn't always want to be in control. That is the key. Her A type/ controlling/ dominating personality is a coping mechanism because other people in her past have proved to her that she dares not trust anyone but herself. Going to a matchmaker was probably one of the rare times when she had to admit she needed help. In her mind she was being vulnerable and admitting she didn't have all the answers, only for her coping mechanism to kick in when the matchmaker ' let her down'.

[@zrivs669]

One of the most insightful comments on this video

[@themoonsharksquirrel8937]

This is an excellent comment ✨️

[@RandoMuser-h1o]

yep, I agree.

[@Banana_Boo_]

So insightful, wow

[@rprastein]

Yes.

[@JustinFromMD]

Good for the matchmaker! She couldn’t serve this woman appropriately because the woman isn’t receptive to the advice and constructive criticism. There isn’t a menu, it’s humans. Why go to a coach if you won’t change?

[@tkitsz]

She was actually hoping that the matchmaker would tell her what she wanted to hear, and that is that there is nothing wrong with her, and it's all men's fault. All it was was an attempt to have her own biases confirmed. And now she is upset that she spent all that money, and still nobody agrees with her. So last ditch effort is to make a tik tok about it, to try and farm some sympathy that way. It's narcissism to the max.

[@mycowboyways915]

Sounds like the same kind of woman that would go to a carpet store to buy a telescope...

[@sharkbros.9278]

HUMILITY. The world needs more humility.

[@dracocaelestis6370]

she didn’t tell her that she’s unworthy of love, she told her she is not a good march for her services and that she doesn’t want her business. fair enough. that lady sounds insufferable and i’m afraid we’ll see her spinning the same story at 48 as well.

[@Mustakrakish1337]

it's like, way to completely miss the point and then proceed to volunteer letting us know just how you really feel. yikes.

[@gravityissues5210]

So imagine this being your partner. Can you imagine how the smallest little thing will go from zero to thermonuclear in about two sentences? “Oh, sorry I forgot to ask for extra sauce packets.” “You NEVER respect my needs! It’s clear you’re thinking of someone else! You’re the most useless person on the planet!!!”

[@roamnomo6333]

Well she appears to be 48 already.

[@Maderlololohio]

She is abusive

[@mholmes9262]

There's a difference between saying someone isn't worthy of love vs simply telling them that aren't likely to find love because of their expectations of other people.

[@markm2348]

She never said she wasn’t worthy of love.

[@mholmes9262]

@@markm2348 That was me paraphrasing. She didn't use those exact words, but to me it sounded like she took it that way.

[@6lake.]

@@markm2348 4:20 - "I shouldn't need to be a 'woo' type person to be worthy of love". 5:09 - "Have her tell me I am not worthy of love as I am, but the fact that I need to change in order to be worthy" 5:20 5:25 Should I keep going or do you wanna turn on your active listening/critical thinking skills?

[@SovereignStatesman]

But that's the point: she's PARANOID. Obviously her parents were overly-critical and called it "tough love" and said she had to EARN it, so now she's neurotic and damaged with major baggage, to which every sane man runs like the plague.

[@petep5207]

@@mholmes9262 Words matter. You are a toxic person. Clearly, you will twist other people's words to suit your narrative, and then blams and shame THEM for the fantasy you CREATED. I pity those around you.

[@allyup3404]

It's a miracle maker she needs, not a match maker.

[@sandman_says_runrunner4701]

Have fun storming the castle!

[@sayastra]

I view double standards as BS. If you were a guy saying "I need a woman of top quality, if they are not I will chew them up and spit them out" . . . that sounds like making excuses for being abusive. Easiest thing is to imagine what would your reaction be to a guy that acts like you.

[@joschmo4497]

And when have you heard men talking like that? This is female phenomenon, they get their heads filled with all sort of junk thoughts from TV, music, their hyena friends etc.

[@CaptCanuck4444]

I once heard a great bit of wisdom: "Real positive change begins when you get tired of your own sh!t."

[@Furniture121]

Two points: 1) She looks 45, not 38... We don't all age the same, but I suspect she isn't being honest. 2) I bet she doesn't think that men she considers "below her" deserve love for who they are...

[@Hawtload]

I'm 38 and I thought she was closer to 48

[@richard-df6pr]

even with makeup wouldn't smash

[@arthurmorgan2906]

@@Hawtload and still has zero self reflection... sick broad

[@steveheliosone6174]

Imagine waking up next to this angry ‘38 year old’ every day. Oof. You’d be in trouble constantly.

[@jolinalee3887]

I don’t know what the first point is about? I’m 22 and people think I’m 25-26 all the time

[@mickbenson9161]

No man in his right mind would ever commit to such a woman.

[@ryans413]

And that’s why she’s single at 38

[@mightysavage459]

A simp would, but she don't want them.

[@MrSparklespring]

Only a sado-masochist! 😅

[@toiaussi5405]

My GF is 38 , no makeup, has principle, flaws, we talk exchange and find a middle ground

[@HotDawgzzzzz]

@@mightysavage459 Facts,

[@urbino-o5s]

Again, anytime someone says "alpha" or "beta" to me, I walk away from that hot mess.

[@Tail_sez]

I can never hear those terms without thinking of those Omegaverse fanfictions...

[@joschmo4497]

They can use whatever language, but bottom line is this is actually how women think. You can keep being in denial, but you tell me how many of you have dated a woman that's taller than you or made more money than you. It's not by coincidence.

[@urbino-o5s]

@@joschmo4497 I don't want to dignify this more than it deserves, but since you ask: I've dated a girl taller than me, and I've dated a girl who was a trust fund baby. The woman in the video has obvious problems, but not all women are like that. Sorry.

[@joschmo4497]

@@urbino-o5s Imagine being such a bad liar you'd claim both. A skilled liar would not get so greedy with a lie, they'd claim 1 to stay within the realm of possible. Statistics suggests this is extremely unlikely. 1/720 couples have a taller woman. Let's say it's Germany, because Germany has highest percentage of relationships where woman makes more than husband (6% of relationships). I'm being generous here. So 1/720 x 1/16.7 Do the math man, there are better lottery odds than the odds that you dated both a woman who was taller than you and a woman who outearned you. Math says why the f you lyiiiin

[@NineToFiveGamerUC0079]

@@urbino-o5s Right on, Dated an Astrophysicist who was not only taller than me, she made more than I did at the time. This didn't bother me in the slightest. Dudes like the one you're replying to need to learn to heal and move on over their old traumas involving women.

[@Michaelpalmer4k]

My sister is like that, she's sees nothing wrong with her negative behavior and instead blames men

[@JAG214]

FACTS and I do not have a sister

[@ConceptHut]

My condolences

[@theelam0fg0d]

Drop your sister off in the middle of the woods, stranded without food for 3 days. Then ask her if she needs a Man.

[@TheBubbeloo]

Remember to buy her cat food and toys, she'll be needing those eventually.

[@vithursan.b]

She should date women instead😂

[@Sorakingdom4]

So basically, “if you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best“, lol.

[@CourtneyRyan]

Accurate 🚩🚩🚩

[@JAG214]

FACTS

[@mattwalmer6162]

If a woman says that, it means her worst IS her best. 😂

[@AKASHROY-i9f]

Wish more girls were like you world will be a better place for single guys😂😂😂😂😂​@@CourtneyRyan

[@USER_S4V4NT]

its more like “if you can handle me at my worst you never get to see my best”

[@kenbrown2808]

just a side note - whoever told her to use that lip color has questionable color judgement.

[@jneilson7568]

Presuming that got dropped by her beautician too.😅

[@joschmo4497]

Most women do not look good with a rouge, softer colors work much better for 95% of them, but somebody keeps telling them they look like baddies or something.

[@jsinister_vq8303]

I have a cousin that acts exactly like this lady. She’s into her 50s and alone. Sad really.

[@classicdice21]

It's funny how she twisted the criticism into "you're not worthy of love", I don' tthink the matchmaker said that nor implied it. So she made up this "toxic narrative" in her own mind and then proceeds to say that she's going to reject it. Yes, you should reject something you made up.

[@highlanderknight]

She is just trying to justify her own negative attitude.

[@TheFlyingPilgrim]

It’s probably true, though. Lady has zero self-awareness.

[@NickM_FirstofHisName]

Because in her opinion, she doesn't have to work on herself. It's take me as I am.

[@terry412]

Exactly, the matchmaker's comments likely were intended to be "In your current state & attitude, many men won't be interested in you."

[@fen3844]

Coz they interpret it with their emotions, not with logic. Feelings first over facts.

[@williamwaters4506]

I am a retired mental health therapist. I had clients who were not likeable, knew they were not likeable and could not maintain an intimate relationship with someone. They were angry and depressed because they knew they had to change and thought it was not fair. What I would tell them that every society has its rules of behavior and standards for attractiveness/likability. Criminals do not want to obey laws, they go to jail. If you do not want to follow the standards set for likability/attractiveness the chances are that you will be alone. They next question is - How difficult is it for you to not interrupt people? To not get into constant disagreements with people?. To talk none stop and not take time to listen to others? To not be so opinionated about everything? etc etc Personality changes are difficult and can be very difficult. How do you start? What can you do to start? Do you even want to start? If not, then you sleep in the bed you make.

[@CourtneyRyan]

Thank you for sharing this. Wonderful comment!

[@LFDNC]

Thank you for sharing this. I have anger problems, and every time I call my elder at church angry, his first question is always “What is the most gracious interpretation of these actions.” Not co-signing my BS is the best thing other men have done for me. On another note, the best therapist I ever had was a gorgeous young woman who terrified me. I’ve had stuff happen that has left me scared of women. Aimee somehow managed to coax me out of my hiding place; now that I’m out, I’m never going back. I’m grateful for her.

[@SurpriseMeJT]

This is a truly constructive comment. The point about anger and depression because they know they need to change really reminds me of family members. They were so arrogant with their very strong ways when they were younger, but as they got older and didn't change, it really hit them in the face that people do not like them. Sad, but as you say - they made their own bed.

[@LFDNC]

@@SurpriseMeJT my father is this way. I disagreed with him a few months ago and he got nasty with me and made it explicit that he doesn’t care that he and I have almost no relationship of any kind. That’s pretty much been the message my entire life, and now every time I go in the house, he refuses to even acknowledge my existence. I admit that my disagreement was that the “authority” argument is an indicator of a poor argument and that I had presented facts that he was unable to refute. I have had to make the choice to serve my father while maintaining healthy boundaries. In my therapy and talking with good friends, I have begun to feel sad for my father. I think it is universally true that at our cores, every man is a scared boy who needs a hug. What makes me sad for my father is that he can’t see how freeing it is to admit it. He works so hard to stay angry that it’s impressive. I can speak directly to him and he won’t even look at me, but will respond when my mother speaks. I can’t say it feels good, but hearing him tell me he didn’t care gave me the closure I needed to serve him well. As insane as it sounds, I’m glad he did it.

[@michellehummingbird8580]

A​@@SurpriseMeJT

[@atomic-fox]

and here you have a perfect example of someone spending their life emphasizing entitlement over humility, wisdom, and compassion.

[@anthonytokar3961]

❤

[@LisaFenton-h7f]

I'd bet this woman does NOT see qualities like humility (or being humble), wisdom and compassion as ways that a "Type A" woman like her would ever have. Her loss!

[@markm3477]

But calling themselves bold and strong willed...

[@bestdjaf7499]

Sad. But they learn from the hot boys all thrir lives. And then ... And now you have to deal with all that mess. "I call myself" a MGTOW for at least 10-15 years. I dont talk or help women I dont know. I would offer help to a guy 90% of the time. Today I stopped to help a guy, but I would never stops for a Woman. I am sorry. Call 911.

[@sundown6748]

What a weak “man”

[@RonHarrisMuscle]

I have a brother who could never hold a job. Within a week or two, he would either quit or get fired and the boss/manager was always the problem - eventually I realized HE was always the problem. But he never saw it that way.

[@kevinbuyks6788]

Her language and attitude gives off so much hostality that it makes me put up my guard. It makes me wonder how she will act when she doesn't get her way, if she will react in a aggressive, possibly violent way. Been in that type of relationship before and will avoid them at any cost

[@louisbee7923]

The matchmaker realized right away this client was impossible to match. A 2 or 3/10 woman who thinks that paying $$$$ will get her access to a secret list of 9 and 10/10 men that no other women know about. What could go wrong? (And btw, that woman looks way older than 38. More like 48).

[@ronror]

My mom just turned 56, and she looks much younger than her. 48 is generous.

[@AlfaGiuliaQV]

Hell. i'm 48 and i would never date that woman.

[@oneandonlyjark]

You guys are all high. Have you seen 50-year-olds? That's your benchmark for upper-limit of aging effects of a 48-year-old.

[@Pierre_Patrick]

So refreshing to see a KZbinr that’s consistent with their message and makes positive content for men I’ve been binging her content and I think it’s helping me become a better man, thank you Courtney.

[@CourtneyRyan]

🥹🤍 so glad to hear it. Thanks for the kind comment!

[@Sekir80]

@@CourtneyRyan Oh, you sweet summer child. Let me quote you: "if a matchmaker turned me and my thousands of dollars I was ready to pay her down, that would be the biggest wake up call in the world for me!" You have too much common sense, intelligence and self awareness compared to that 38 yo woman. She might realize this later in her life, but odds are, she won't. Loved this vid, and I see how this makes you upset! And a great Thank You for emphasizing, these are the exceptions, not the norm.

[@maryamadedeji24]

@@Sekir80 yeah and I also think a matchmaker is actually a good thing… Especially for women in their mid 20s that are actually serious about getting married, but you have to be prepared to be a wife… And I was watching a video by Kevin Samuels vid the other day and he explained it perfectly well.

[@TRUTHaintHATING]

Yea she helped me also that's why I watch her alot. Made me realize alot about myself as a man

[@joelsantiago9148]

"I have been in therapy for 10+ years" By that she means she goes to therapy, then she stops therapy when it comes to taking accountability and then she goes back to another therapist, and she does girl talk.

[@noblegalifreyan4551]

I find it really telling when a girl like this on TikTok talks about how everyone, except men, are worthy of love as they are. When usually the common rhetoric for men when they're not doing well in the dating scene are told to work on themselves and improve themselves to be worthy.

[@6lake.]

Don't worry about it. That's the main reason there are more young men that are in shape than young women. Is it unfair? Yes. Does it yield results? Yes. Should everyone be held to the same level of scrutiny that men are subjected to? Absolutely yes. Complacency/over-acceptance do not yield healthy results - just comfortable ones.

[@ladidaohoh3168]

That narrative being fed to men was done so to intentionally demoralize, for some it has yielded incredibly positive results that they might not have gotten otherwise, but what she said is true in the sense, that the size of your chequebook, or how much you workout, should not dictate your opportunity to find love. Sadly while they were feeding men the demoralizing messages, they were feeding women, the you are perfect as you are, your beautiful no matter how fat you are, no matter how repellent your personality is, men should be banging down your door. So now we’ve got perfectly good men who think they can’t date because they are not good enough, and some 3 with a horrible personality thinking she deserves nothing less than Prince Charming, it was all by design and it’s a complete disaster exactly as it was intended to be.

[@davebellamy4867]

​@@ladidaohoh3168The ruling class of the western world has done just about everything they can to break the spirit of free men here. Sending them to slaughter in world wars, weaponising women against them and 100 other things. It's worked pretty well so far but the consequences long term will be extreme for anyone stuck in those countries. Those consequences or blowbacks are just beginning to emerge a little right now.

[@davebellamy4867]

​@@ladidaohoh3168"Exactly as it was intended to be." Exactly correct!👍👍👍

[@davidjackson3592]

You beat me to it.

[@petek2832]

Before anyone thinks this is an extreme example, let me just say, I am 53, widowed after a 20 year marriage, and recently started dating again. This is WAY more common than you think. The "I have it all, I am great" but you have to be more "all and greater than me". Which is shocking considering how many women well over 40 that have never had a serious long term relationship or marriage. But sadly still are not self-aware enough to see that maybe they are the problem. A little less conceit and a lot more soul searching can go a long way. This chick is like that, only she also acts like a meth head. Any "successful, strong, type-A, high net worth guy is going to pass on her. We want someone who will compliment us. A yin to our yang so to speak. I don't want a woman I have to literally compete with over everything, or guess when it is she doesn't want to be in charge. That's just going to be the excuse she uses to cheat, leave, or start b.s. fights about. Hard pass.

[@andrewtongue7084]

Eloquently put, Pete.

[@sarasunshinemt4444]

I am sorry for your loss (my hubby and I are 25+ years) and absolutely horrified that you have to hit the dating scene at 50+ years. That is literally nightmare fuel and I wish you Godspeed my friend!

[@JD-xd4sy]

Yes the only guys she could possibly attract would be the "door mat" types, but we know how she feels about them

[@leona2222]

100% accurate. I was just saying to my mother the other day how insufferable and awful young women are today. Aggressively dominant and rude.

[@thebelleofbeale]

Amen Courtney. Sharing ones’ life with another is not a right-it is a divine privilege. If people treated it as such, there would be far less divorce.

[@gillagroupie]

THIS.

[@amycimaglia913]

I’m 49. It’s hard to believe she is 38. She stressed herself beyond her years.

[@kingrex1931]

The issue is that this woman doesn't match well with the type of man that she prefers. She is unwilling to go out with what she calls a "beta male", but that is the type of man that matches with a "girl boss". She also isn't willing to change to make herself more attractive to the alpha men that she wants. Two strong A-type personalities will not get along because both will always want to be in charge.

[@KristaAndersonPhilipps]

There are plenty of A type personalities that are married and stay married.

[@Selvarin]

@@KristaAndersonPhilipps Is it because they're Alpha in one area but cede some ground in others? Usually there has to be some accommodation.

[@KristaAndersonPhilipps]

@@Selvarin It's because they both bring strong points to the relationship that the other lacks. Nobody is always in charge of everything.

[@pepa007]

Body language jewel. You can literally play her video without sound. The fact she’s putting on a makeup and throwing this topic out there as a side note, together with the presentation style, is the perfect metaphor of what’s going on with her 🙂

[@franzjosefmueller-alban509]

Yes!!! The body says : do not ever think of disagreeing with me because I am always right ( even if I am not ) and… she has such an aggressive energy .. wow

[@howardkip99]

I find it really weird the trend of talking to the camera while applying makeup.

[@boot2themoon]

Should she add music?

[@phillbarnes8513]

@@boot2themoonThe Imperial March: Star Wars

[@blackananaas]

@@howardkip99sameeeeeee It annoys the hell out of me 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

[@MDUnleashed]

The problem is a lot of people think they’re the main character in the world and that everything should adhere to them. They have zero awareness that when it comes to relationships you’re not picking up some object off the shelf from your local super market; you’re dealing with someone who has emotions, characteristics, and aspirations just like everybody else. Nobody ‘deserves’ anything, especially involving another human being, and you definitely don’t deserve a healthy relationship with this type of mentality.

[@ilai7893]

Unfortunately, given how presumably she was pretty good looking earlier in life, no one would have kept her in check and reminded her that selection is not a one-way street but that she needs traits that would cause men to choose her too

[@ShaunHensley]

People? Women

[@michaelhurlbut4830]

Ah yes, the Husband Store analogy.

[@LisaFenton-h7f]

He got it right using the term "people". Some MEN as well as some WOMEN are this INSUFFERABLE.@@ShaunHensley

[@chrish2112]

A lot of women.

[@g.w.hampton5525]

My first red flag with her was when she said something like "she didn't want to be the leader ALL of the time" I saw a struggle to be the leader unless it was a situation where she would be willing to relinquish the reins... on HER terms.

[@kathrine266]

nobody should be a leader in a relationship.

[@michasokoowski6651]

@@kathrine266 Unless it comes down to things like: "He is better at organizing vacations and she is better at organizing social events" It's basically giving a leadership in tasks that someone in relationships performs better. But then a lot of people don't understand what leadership means. Leader is not a person who just get everything their way.

[@joschmo4497]

@@kathrine266 Riight. That's why women always go for taller, stronger, higher earners, assertive men, because they're not looking for a leader? Ah women. "Nobody should be a leader", but none of them are willing to put in the work to actually be equals.

[@joschmo4497]

@@michasokoowski6651 "Better at organizing social events". Do you people hear yourself when you make up crap like that? It's something you make up so women can feel like they're leaders too. Like when you're playing a game with your kids, only 1 controller is plugged in but you tell them they're playing too. Organizing vacations or social events, what is going on in your head? 99.999999% of your life is not going to be spent organizing vacataions or social events. It is irrelevant. The real point is who does what for what you actually need in life, the basic, everyday tasks like providing the resources and food.

[@michasokoowski6651]

@@joschmo4497 Eh, these were examples of equal importance, but i guess some people aren't actually able to properly cooperate with others, so they might not understand the point being. The person more experienced/better at something should take leadership when team is doing that. "The real point is who does what for what you actually need in life, the basic, everyday tasks like providing the resources and food." You speak a lot of words and yet nothing comes out of your mouth. "The real point" of what? You never said what is your point. "Riight. That's why women always go for taller, stronger, higher earners, assertive men, because they're not looking for a leader?" Tell that yourself, so you feel better about who you are.

[@superbob24]

So many women that just don't understand all men want is someone who is fun to be around, doesn't give them more stress on top of their already stressful job and isn't a prude.

[@sundown6748]

Unfortunately men only care about looks. And definitely can’t be 20 pounds overweight

[@Cyphlix]

Loosing weight is easier than gaining height.

[@superbob24]

@@sundown6748 black dudes love fat girls.

[@rondolo1]

"fun to be around" is extremely subjective.

[@purpurina5663]

Maybe a mature man. Or that's what they say they want. But too many men looove a second mommy. Nagging, nice on the outside but very controlling, treating him like a child. Actually these were the first women to marry from both my school and college classes.

[@Ryan66437]

Rejecting the idea they have stuff to work on is perhaps the largest red flag I've ever encountered. Actively working to improve yourself is the largest green flag. Large enough, that I'll happily ignore any number of qualities I'd otherwise object to. I wake up each day with the starting assumption that I have many things I need to improve and I'm probably just plain wrong about many others.

[@CourtneyRyan]

Totally agree

[@MrJimmy3459]

This is what happens when you tell a generation that they are "fine the way they are"

[@rickandrygel913]

Her: I have high standards for the guy I'm looking for. Matchmaker: high value men have high standards too. Her: this is dangerous.

[@backupmusicaccount8488]

There are no “high value” men. Just men with higher paying jobs. The modern “high value man” is a man just as likely to have zero sexual restraint as any “regular” or “substandard” man. All men want the same thing in a “wife”. Which is they don’t actually want a wife, they just want a housemaid with benefits.

[@SovereignStatesman]

They have their own PREFERENCES, too.

[@steph678]

Yeah but it's normal to be offended by that also she's a pretty woman who's very highly successful I understand she isn't the type to be easily abused by a man which is what a lot of men want

[@rickandrygel913]

@@steph678 lol

[@NickM_FirstofHisName]

​@@steph678Only in fmnists fantasy. Btw, isn't she the one that said she'd step on a beta type man? Which one is it? Does she want a dominant man or a passive man? You want a dominant man, then turn around and call him abusive when he takes the lead or asserts himself. Btw, I happen to have relatives of my family who will not listen to me unless I become agressive physically, or start yelling. I hate dealing with them, because they cannot be talked to, they have to be coerced. Then they turn around and act like a victim.

[@Aaronbray91]

The kind of guy she wants literally wants the opposite of her. She is the antithesis of his desires. And that doesn't mean a good, strong male leader is looking for a woman to steamroll (I would consider that bad leadership if he Does want to steamroll). Rather, he's looking for someone who isn't combative and will Actually Follow His Lead. He wants someone who will support him, not someone who is going to make his life hell, which is what this chick would do.

[@donovanwilliams5424]

The pure, uncut ego from this woman was incredible. I see this so much. Women are constantly having their egos inflated, while their flaws are also praised. It's really bad.

[@SIgor420]

That's what social media do to your brain, it makes it delusional. Especially if you are a woman.

[@JaeCi-sh6fx]

I had a female friend say with a straight face that she was looking for a type A venture capitalist who would act like a “puppy dog” around her… She’s never had a boyfriend and is well into her 30s 😂

[@thirstwithoutborders995]

Watching too many KDramas I assume. We love those types of guys, CEO's of huge companies by 25 and super cold until they meet the right woman... but, it is also fiction, written by women for women. That being said, I have also met men who essentially want a girl that looks like an anime character, cute, innocent and caring during the day, and a porn star in the sheets. Same logic applies.

[@marklittle8805]

The woman has never met a Type A venture capitalist. Those guys pump and dump women all the time while having a trophy wife at home that likely signed a pre nup to put up with him

[@PontificusPinion]

Has she also spent 10 years in therapy that obviously isn't working?

[@dycedargselderbrother5353]

These guys do exist, though not as boyfriends or husbands. A weird kink among some executive types is to be into being dominated or puppy/baby play. They pay professionals for that and go home to their normal wives and girlfriends.

[@willietarkington1628]

@@thirstwithoutborders995 I totally agree with you, the problem is it’s way easier to fake being a cute anime girl then it is to fake being a 25 year old male CEO. Lol I’ve dated a few “anime girls”, all just as broke as I was, but never really an anime girl. I’ve never met a 25 year old handsome male ceo 😂😊

[@bastianogr4960]

I'd love to meet that matchmaker. Must be a true lioness. She had the guts to tell her things that, quite obviously, no-one ever dared to tell her before in her life, including her parents.

[@gregcalzada6710]

If I was on a date with this women at a restaurant. I would pick up on the narcissist vibe quickly. I would say I need to use the restroom. Climb out of the bathroom window and run to the the Verizon store and change my cell phone number. I think the match maker who rejected her also took into consideration the damage she would do to people in a romantic relationship. People like her are the reason so many of us are in therapy. Thank you Courtney for your break down of the situation and correcting a toxic narrative.

[@Z25MikeD]

I was traveling home from a funeral with family and overheard a conversation at the airport about how this person didn’t understand why she didn’t get along with people her at her job. Her rationale is that she wore golf shirts in non threatening colors and still had the same problem. I bit my tongue and my family all had the same reaction. The problem isn’t the clothes, the problem is you

[@ncarranza2]

"...takes criticism as a personal attack..." absolutly nails the perspective of many in our dating society; men and women alike. I always appreciate you keeping it real!

[@swirlcrop]

This video is very revealing. I think you are a good person Courtney Ryan and you are a positive influence online.

[@sburns2421]

"Type A" = controlling, overbearing, high-maintenance witch

[@xyzct]

Rhymes with punt.

[@litedawg]

Type A = pain in the a$$

[@infinitedurr]

Type A = Tyle A$$hole 😂

[@Lotanna20]

😂😂was the witch really necessary?

[@John_in_Oakland]

Heavily cosmeticated.

[@Chris-uu2td]

"Chew them up and spit them out" expresses a certain kind of pride she takes in her abrasiveness. IMO there is nothing wrong with being a little headstrong or being the one to take the initiative, but if you're unable to controll yourself enough to respect other individuals, let alone your significant other, this will pose as a constant point of contention that will damage any form of long term commitment.

[@sandsleeper3124]

Being Proud of her abrasiveness is something that I also picked up on.

[@Cedarrouge]

Yes! The same people that take pride in their "brutal honesty", like no don't sugar coat it, you're just rude.

[@Bub4055]

Your comment is insightful and well worded. Are you a mental health professional?

[@Chris-uu2td]

@@Bub4055 I am a wind energy engineer. But interesting you should ask that. I get told unusually often that I have a knack for this sort of thing :D.

[@mtngrl5859]

She's likely in a very aggressive career, I've met people like her in my career path. One has to have the ability to switch off being dominant & chill out to some degree. This is likely why she looks older, I'm 20 years older than her & look younger than her, but I know how to decompress. My husband is a type-B personality, great guy to be around & we have lots of fun together. Frankly, the last thing in the world this woman needs is another type A person in her life. She'd do better with a mellow plumber or an electrician.

[@RedSky8]

You killed it on this one! My sister has some of these same traits and similar midset of "this is how I am" and even knows some of the challenges she'd give a guy based on her personality and problem areas. But it's like she wears those as a badge, like, "look at me, I have flaws I won't change and someone will just have to be patient with me if they really care for me" 😒

[@nimvin]

In my experience, when trying to explain these things to a young woman, it's ALL about the messaging. I actually feel for this 38-yr old woman who probably feels insulted by being told her personality is unacceptable to men. When I was younger, there were several times when various ppl (all of them well intentioned) tried to tell me how to change myself in order to find a boyfriend. To me, this just came off as "boys won't like what you are, so fake your personality in order to catch a man." Of course, I rejected this entirely - and, of course, I didn't ever get a boyfriend either. Looking back, I believe that if someone (anyone!) would have said something like, "You just need to find a better way to channel your personality traits to your advantage," I would have definitely understood that and would have tried to follow that advice.

[@heshteg_munk606]

"You just need to find a better way to channel your personality traits to your advantage" 👏👏👏 THIS.

[@TheSnugsterr]

38 years old and in therapy for ten years to not even realize she's the problem. SHEEEEESH

[@watamutha]

I was about to say, she needs to fire the therapist not the match maker.

[@lot2196]

Therapy is garbage.

[@stb-pk1fs]

That's why therapy is useless. Women only use it as a venting session, not what it's intended to be used for.

[@antonboludo8886]

Yes, I have seen this a lot. @@stb-pk1fs

[@peterkottke2570]

@@stb-pk1fs Therapy can be quite useful to help people through the hills and valleys of life. This woman however is the sheer rock face side of a mountain with the mountain goats laughing at you. Therapists can only help those who want to be helped. I pity the therapist.

[@terry412]

Plato once said, "One measure of a man is what he does with power", & I often apply the same logic is how people behave when they could benefit financially. The fact that the matchmaker turned DOWN this woman's thousands of dollars is a sign that the extra profit wasn't worse the headaches of dealing with this diva.

[@consideredthoughts1791]

Very true. Plus, if this harpy was, really, a Type A, she'd have realised this point herself. I'm assuming she has some kind of business job. The fact she hasn't and continues to blame the matchmaker means one of two things: 1) She's not a Type A at all, just some broad with a fat mouth; or 2) She is a Type A but her ego won't let her admit there's something wrong with her. Instead, it's far easier to blame someone else - the matchmaker. I'm not sure which is worse.......probably the second option.

[@Beelzebubbles759]

I think the matchmaker is protecting her male clients. She wants women who will be attractive to her male clients. This lady would damage her brand.

[@champabay4746]

35 year old married man. I meditate and journal daily. I try to be 1% better everyday. My wife deserves that much at the least. She is amazing and I love her. Love is an action, I show my love through doing things for her and our relationship. And she does the same for me

[@brianlangum6253]

In order for a marrage to survive, there needs to be 100% love or 100% commitment to each other. You have both. Well done and congratulations to you both.

[@altair1983]

Great video, wasn't expecting that. Speaking from personal experience, being in a relationship is all about work. Only your mum will love you unconditionally. And even that should have limits

[@MrSwordfanatic]

The thing with wanting a leader is that you need to be willing to be led. People like her are very rarely willing to give up that control, it’s always a fight.

[@Johann-uc9sn]

Which means she would never put anybody before herself. I bet that one would not even put her kids first.

[@cs8712]

Imagine bragging that you've been in therapy for 10 years (120 monthly sessions) Also, holy crap, she's 2 years older than me but looks like she could be my mom

[@Swearengen1980]

Women in general age much worse than men. Almost all women my age (43) look 50+. This chick looks pretty normal for 38, but holy shit is that face shiny.

[@davidshepherd5438]

Yeah, I'm not especially inclined to believe that she was honest about her age.

[@Rick_Cleland]

She doesn't look good at all, I'm thirty-nine and used to drink and smoke a *_lot_* and I don't look that bad. People say I look younger than I am, it might be because I'm not married and don't have any kids. No grey hair (Yet).

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

Yeah I was wondering if she's a party girl because she legit looks like she's pushing 50. I'm not even saying that to be rude, just as a matter of fact.

[@jasourwnjl]

I'm inclined to think she's had some WORK done, and a good job was not done. Most professional white collar types who take care of themselves usually still look very good at age 38 if they don't do ridiculous cosmetic surgery. If she was working class I could see her looking like that from work and life stressors. I say this as a obviously loathsome working class guy

[@Bbdrifty]

5:38 She didn’t like to be called out and told that she needed to change but you could bet that ANY guy she happens to curse with a relationship would be under CONSTANT criticism or forced to concede to her while he wouldn’t even be allowed suggest that she work on herself… smh

[@michaelhurlbut4830]

Imagine having to work with her whether as a peer, subordinate, or supervisor.

[@paulduncan789]

Precisely what I was thinking. The matchmaker gave her advice on what men like and she takes that as being told that she isn't worthy of love as she is. She suggests we need to get rid of the narrative that people aren't worthy of love as they are. Yet two minutes earlier she talked about how she wouldn't want a beta man, that she would chew them up and spit them out. Well, that is effectively telling beta men that they aren't worthy of love as they are.

[@Nico_M.]

@@paulduncan789 Not only she tells "beta men" they aren't worthy of love as they are, I bet those guys were forced to concede (as the first message said) just to keep some kind of peace or some kind of future for the relation, just to be called "beta men" because of that concesion.

[@michaelsix9684]

she would drive a saint to drink

[@MimosaRose]

Wow. The matchmaker said she couldn’t work with you, NOT that you weren’t “worthy of love”. This is very telling. Putting words in someone else’s mouth shows that is your insecurity.

[@sooptime]

"If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best" is the most ludicrous statement or attitude, but preached by many. Life is continual learning and improving. No quality guy would spend 5 minutes with that woman.

[@16rumpole]

agree, it's the whole notion of "growing together."

[@Grethrey123]

I mean, I’m a man, but I think this is too much of an absolute take on this. Yes it has been WAY too commonly thrown around recently and distorted beyond recognition. The “worst” the quote initially refers to is something like “when I am going through a bereavement and/or have a breakdown”, not what it is mostly used for now, which is “I’m not going to commit/I’m going to gaslight/I’m going to be abrasive and rude deliberately”. I agree with the original quote - my wife and I have both recently lost a grandparent and been through the emotional wringer. In both cases we were both emotional all over the place. Unable to think straight, emotionally volatile, the slightest thing upset us because we were emotional. THAT is what the “at my worst” actually refers to, thinks like that, and I agree with it. How it is used TODAY to excuse blatantly toxic behaviours? That’s not “at your worst”, that’s you being a terrible person, and it’s a whole different thing.

[@dc-13258]

“I’ve been in therapy in 10+ years” Either she had a really poor therapist, blew threw several therapists who couldn’t stand this woman’s insufferable stubborn Type A nature, or she is straight up lying

[@davebellamy4867]

I don't get why she would falsely mention 10 years of therapy because it's not something a date would want to hear really. Of course for some people it might be beneficial but a third person that meets them can probably see in a fairly short time whether that therapy worked. It appears that she wasted a ton of money on therapy.

[@poetsrear]

Or some high-profile, low-skill therapist with few appointments milks her out by enabling her shittiness. By probably recognizing she's a lost case and best used as a wallet. Sorry.

[@anthonyml7]

Clearly all selling points for any guy lol

[@delfinenteddyson9865]

I've heard that there are therapists that are more trying to set up a life service than actually trying to help their clients

[@jessicascoullar3737]

@@laverdadbuscadorunlikely to be lying. More likely she just shopped around until she found on that would flatter her ego and she has simply paid for a sympathetic ear and lovely platitudes for ten years.

[@biomechanical923]

The faces Courtney made at this video were absolutely priceless. She had me losing it 😂

[@britjj5126]

Yep 😂At one point she looked petrified just like I did watching the lady talk of her traits 😂

[@caspiana3623]

Hon, you are worthy of love as you are. It's just the matchmaker knows that there is nobody out there who would be able to give you the kind of love you want.

[@joschmo4497]

No, not really. Not everyone is worthy of love, some people need to hear the harsh truth.

[@TheBenjaminHigashi]

That lady is delusional. I could feel her anxious, high strung energy throughout the video. I believe there is no self-actualized, wise, and balanced man that would ever date her. Thank you Courtney for your insights! Great content as usual.

[@YourOneStopShop]

Time will humble her. Time always does. Thats the beauty of dealing with these types of people. Time does not stop and you will abide to time or be alone.

[@petermathews2915]

A narcissist will never be humble. It's always someone else's fault.

[@danieltanner5804]

God help whatever man sadly ends up with her. She has absolutely no self-awareness. She’s oblivious to the fact that she’s toxic as all hell.

[@projectkj7643]

I have learned to love being single. HOWEVER, 20 yrs ago, I was interested in dating. I was repulsive to the opposite sex (avg looks, financially secure, weird personality) but didn’t become introspective and here I am! Not everyone finds true love…not everyone finds good enough. I think I saved someone a lot of pain and suffering. You’re welcome! 😁

[@JoelPit]

Anyone else thinking her 10 years of therapy was about trashing her exes blaming them rather than self Wondering how many therapists she fired

[@zealman79]

it was the 'therapists' fault.

[@haleytruslow7200]

I thought so too. It wouldn’t surprise me if she fired any therapist who dared point out the areas she needed to work on

[@piratecody44]

I find it funny when people say that “I’ve gone to therapy for x amount of years”. Just going to therapy won’t fix anything. It’s what happens after therapy and in the time between sessions where things will actually happen. Therapy is only the middleman between where you are and where you want to be.

[@grepora]

Therapists will waste your time and your money for as long as you can take it. They are not motivated to help you improve. All they care about is if they get paid. Gabe Kaplan told a joke about a woman going to a psychiatrist. There are two doors: #1 I have insurance and #2 I don't have insurance. She doesn't have insurance, so she goes through door #2. There are two more doors: #1 I have money and #2 I don't have money. She doesn't have money, so she goes through door #2, and ends up back outside.

[@LVCJXXX]

The matchmaker, by not taking her as a client, gave her the best advise for free....and apparently, not even 10 years of therapy could.

[@erictoulon5946]

If she’s been going to ten years of therapy and this is how much progress she’s made I’d hate to see what she was like when she started…

[@jneilson7568]

The therapist probably just gave up and reinforces her while collecting their fee.

[@moongoddess1978]

This is great advice for men or women. Love this, Courtney! This is the first video I’m seeing, and I subscribed. I see you’re a dating coach for men. I’m a bisexual woman. A lot of women who date women struggle with over independence because they’ve had to. I’ve seen this type of woman, and she’s intimidating and hard to connect with. The difference is in a relationship, she should be able to make compromises and have healthy interdependence once trust is built over time. But she has to give it a chance. Open up a bit. Flirt. Laugh. Connect. Be vulnerable. Be open to the adventure. This lady is immovable. A beautiful fragile statue to be admired from a distance, lest she break. She desperately needs to read some Brené Brown. Thank you for the insights! ❤

[@aquabot]

10 years in therapy. 38 years old but looking 50. Incapable of listening and understanding criticism even tough it is told to make her more fit to find what she looks for. Combative, nagging personality. Not willing to find the good aspects of somebody's personality. Etc, etc, etc... And she wonders why she's alone.

[@saintejeannedarc9460]

She looked younger before all the badly applied and wrong makeup. The false eyelashes definitely didn't help her hard look either. Too many women cake it on, w/ all the fake this and that, until they look like old school trannies now. It's an odd trend.

[@ZmQuad]

I used to have a friend at work who was everything this woman says she is (type A, alpha, etc). But that was at work and as friends. When she was looking at a personal level, she was aware of these traits and she had worked very hard to become better. And because of this friend, it is very apparent how a person who DOESNT a work on themselves, comes off. If anything it makes me respect my friend more because she had come so far to being so much of both worlds.

[@reflectiveFrankC]

It took tough love,a broken relationship and working out an answer to WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME with me being the only common denominator. The key word taking responsibility without the cold light of day is rare.

[@galisleo8737]

I never thought I would respect the profession of a matchmaker but this story makes me change my mind.

[@neonnwave1]

I've been lied to so much growing up where I'd have my relatives tell me 'you're fine', 'you're not the problem', and the classic 'you can do better'. I'm so glad my uncle gave me a harsh reality check by pointing out I was the problem to why my life was so terrible and no luck with dating. Yes I encountered bad people but it was ultimately me who had to change and get back up. People like her will never change thus neither will their situation. I've seen women like that, and I've seen men like that too. If you were to ask me which was worse... they're equally bad. And yes, they'd prefer to be lied to than be told the truth because they're ego wouldn't handle it.

[@Iuckylukey]

Could you tell us more about what your uncle said? And what happened since, did you work on yourself and find a good relationship? Sounds like you are self aware and open to change

[@chrish2112]

You absolutely have not seen men like that and I'm tired of this "both sides" garbage. Women are the problem. Period.

[@neonnwave1]

@@Iuckylukey He basically called me the biggest laziest loser he's ever had the displeasure of knowing (paraphrasing of course). I was overweight, jobless, had no ambition, and only ever complained rather than getting off my ass to make a change. He basically asked me: "Why would a woman pick you over all the other guys who have a job, are in shape, and are going somewhere in life?" My only response was 'because I could treat them well'. He fired back with 'so can those guys'. It was the wake up call I needed. I went out, got a job, and worked on my social skills. Funny thing is my uncle would apologize to me years later because the crown of biggest laziest loser he's ever known went to his brother-in-law, who is far worse (yet far skinner) than I ever was.

[@TRUTHaintHATING]

​@@Iuckylukeygood question

[@blackananaas]

@@Iuckylukeyvery good question, I’m interested too 😅

[@ChrisW1019]

I am not perfect. I will always freely admit that as well as fully demonstrate it. Refusing to take accountability always leads to a much worse fate than not wanting to face some harsh truths about yourself.

[@daveshupak9840]

In her own words, "toxic narrative" describes her perfectly. Strong personalities make relationships and marriage challenging.

[@vidphile1]

i was diagnosed with autism late in life, something i'm not happy about. three brief relationships that mostly didn't end well. there is A LOT a man needs to do to have a chance with women. i wasn't raised right, and at half a century old i'm not sure if i wanna bother trudging uphill just for A CHANCE...

[@greyfox2822]

Telling everyone that they are unique and special, and that their opinions are always valid was a huge mistake. It just emboldened terrible people to dig their heels in and not work on themselves

[@nottheone582]

a lot of people are like this in previous older generations though too. it's not something that just started happening recently.

[@uuclmusic2711]

Gotta push back on this… Since the Enlightenment, we recognize we are all individuals. Therefore we are all literally unique and special in our own way. This is the philosophical basis for liberal democracy and capitalism. And if your opinions don’t matter, why bother to vote? Choose what products to buy? Choose what job to hold? If you want to just be a drone or serf, you can, but don’t expect others to volunteer for that

[@Astuga]

She is every man's ideal woman. I mean, what guy doesnt wish to be told what to do when he comes home from a long days work. It's so refreshing. Oh, sweet servitude for Milady!

[@ColinFox]

@@uuclmusic2711 It's not the "unique" part that's the problem. It's that "your opinions (no matter how ridiculous) and your temper tantrums are just fine the way they are, you don't need to change! You're perfect the way you are!" is the problem.

[@mooseyman74]

Or to put it another way, people not being called out on their BS

[@aaronburdon221]

at about 5 minutes that eye roll was LEGENDARY. If someone could perform a "full body eye roll" that would've been it. I literally busted out laughing.

[@LDrumsOhio]

My wife is more or less A type, organized professionally, and can lead but so am I. We accept that we have to balance and know when to lead, listen and just love each other. We’ve had to learn how to communicate better and also take time to work on ourselves.

[@tatjana7008]

Yes this world need more power couples who can balance. Its also good for children as they see gender equality in their own family

[@bebop504]

Thank you… people in the comments are bashing her for being type A, as if it’s an inherently bad quality, when it’s not. It’s actually a good quality. It’s the woman’s attitude that can use some improving.

[@KristaAndersonPhilipps]

I see a woman that's emotionally and mentally exhausted from the world around her. I see someone that feels like every time she tries to ask for help, instead of actually being helpful, they tell her she has to change to be something she's not, she has to pretend to be things that she can't afford to be living in the world we're in. She's only a type A, because she has to be. She's more of a reluctant alpha female, because people have proven time and again that she can only depend on herself. When she reaches out for help, people prove time and again, they aren't the right fit. She will find someone, because they'll see past the thick skin she's had to build. Women in this day and age are damned if they do, and they're damned if they don't. Be a soft girl, but also be hard so that you can handle the every day criticism without looking like a baby for being hurt. Be submissive, but also don't, because if it looks like your personality is a pushover, people will take advantage of you. Be sweet, but don't, because....blah blah blah....And it keeps going. IT's a cycle - men of old want what they think was soft and sweet, until she takes everything they've got in a divorce 5 years later from emotional neglect. Just be yourself. There's billions of people on this planet, someone will be perfect for her.

[@prometheuszero9]

So many good points here. "You don't just deserve things". Amen to that. I particularly like how you pointed out that no, we aren't just the way we are and that's that... we are not only capable of changing, but in a lot of cases it's *imperative* that we do make changes to ourselves. We are not always "just fine the I am". This reminds me of that insufferable boss bitch/bad bitch quote I used to see years ago on social media that Marilyn Monroe supposedly said, which goes, "If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as heck don't deserve me at my best". Anyone with that quote anywhere on their socials is a huge red flag to me because it tells me that they lack introspection and/or the desire to improve their interpersonal skills. It's that whole delusion of "This is just HOW I AM! Why can't I find someone to love me for WHO I AM!" Like, uh.... no, sorry, folks (not just ladies), most of us have some thing we probably could change to make it easier to get along with others. If we're unwilling to even consider doing things differently, then of course we are going to keep getting the same results! It's too bad that so many people take the "love yourself as you are" type of narrative and twist it into a "I am who I am, I'm fine this way, I don't need to change!" type of narrative.