Finding the Right One to Love Me - The R Spot Episode 24

[@charlita25]

I kept picking the wrong ones because I didn't know the love I was looking for lies in me.

[@waldenrobinson8756]

OMG you you your same same

[@colsiabenjamin8059]

Thanks for these powerful words ..at one point in my life I was on a verge of giving up on my life ..And just want to give up on relationship...thanks u for this motivational words

[@LeaJackson90]

@truth teller Basically we seek men for the wrong reasons. Love first comes from within ourselves. We have to love ourselves first before seeking any man. Once you love yourself, spend time and enjoy yourself , have self worth then you can attract better men. I hope that answered your question

[@Melissa-qo2rn]

@@LeaJackson90 so true

[@honeynwt7368]

🤔 what?! Wait a minute!! wait ah minute!! I need your paired eyes you got some more 👀 I need to fully understand this in totality. 😤😡 lies in myself not me them. This is gangster grills right now, eight energy sky blue black. This is Pluto suedo facade cards mean man. It’s all expression this is who’s wsjr.

[@lovingmylife9415]

I love my free therapy

[@AC-tk5iw]

Kim Bfree lol ikr!!!!

[@dianae1158]

Kim Bfree it's truly a free therapy.

[@tiffanysmith3197]

Yessszzz maam

[@ladyofspa]

That was one of your best. Thank you for a clear message and blessing. That could change the world. Truth and peace.

[@UnrivaledMIATTA]

Lol. Me too sis

[@mariaelda6271]

You attract your reciprocal. So love yourself first, be a better person, be happy and contented of yourself as a single then you will attract the same happy, contented person. A Good catch attracts a good catch and the same goes for a bad one so work on yourself first!

[@spesniyoboke1139]

Maria Elda great

[@leonaphillips7955]

l found that once l learned to love your' s truly "me" l was not so consciously or unconsciously desperate to continue to hunt and choose brokeness as a mate oppose to choosing from a happy, healthy and whole self based position.

[@maguiedossantos2925]

Maria Elda You are 100% correct. I AGREE I'VE LEARNT MY LESSON NOW

[@Jasmyne444]

Amen!!! Love this !

[@blessed3150]

True! Million %.

[@shawnpreston1639]

I got to watch this for several days straight to make sure this sinks into my soul, my sub- consciousness, my spirit, my body, my heart, and my mind.

[@NuLyteTV]

We all need to learn this in our late teens and early 20's.

[@LToote]

NuLyteTV maybe even earlier since our brains and personalities begin to develop from our first breath.

[@825BRANDY]

But if you don't that's OK! Nobody is on a timeline. Long as you learn.

[@christiansgrandma6812]

When you grow up in a home where you feel unwanted and in the way, you tend to believe you don't matter. 😢

[@peter-gayrichards206]

True

[@dodo-e4x]

You matter so much...

[@MaralinThomas]

Christian Grandma you are so right!!! This is what I’ve gone through growing up. It definitely affects you as an adult!

[@chrrylocks]

To love the child today, who wasn't loved yesterday... May that child within you experience overwhelming love from you today in each everyway daily... Love that child every chance possible as your adult self...

[@geminigirl9547]

I love Iyanla! I have been following her for many years. I appreciate her brutal honesty. Sometimes it hurts, but she tells the truth.

[@msjahiem31]

Rondelle Petersen amen she does

[@bobbij7089]

once again, I am brought back to peaceful in a matter of minutes. it never ceases to amaze me how I can be spinning out of control in my head and overwhelmed with hurt in my heart and within minutes of listening to you, no matter what the topic is, I am brought back to centered. your work and words are such a gift. I can't tell you how many times they've brought me back from the ledge. thank you so much. thank you, thank you, thank you.

[@kellymatthews3732]

Bobbi J god bless you ❤️🙏🌈

[@BrendatheDaydreamer]

The 57 people who thumbs down this video must have had their toes stepped on. This episode is nothing but the truth. I've watched it everyday for five days.

[@latoyabrown201]

I'd like to take a moment of silence for the people who couldn't receive the words of wisdom falling from the lips of this Amazing Woman!! 🙏 Iyanla Vanzant 👑 I am thankful for your presence on this earth!

[@nacholuva_]

LaToya Brown I ain lyin🙌🏾

[@Lealikes]

you cannot demand the love from anybody that you don't have.

[@Jasmyne444]

Amen!!!

[@InsightsWithChipaul]

Why would I even demand love from someone I don't even love. If I don't love you, I don't want you to love me, lol.

[@natashamartinez1739]

i absolutely Love you Iyanla...i am a clinical social worker and Black woman and you inspire me completely

[@BlessedVivi]

Natasha Martinez that was so sweet

[@boundsgarneff5157]

Iyanla, u are my daily vitamin! god bless you for everything you do. I love u

[@devitaslife7858]

yes she is😆😆😆

[@multifacetedshaye6657]

Bounds Garneff Oh how God lead me to her channel.

[@kiddahenry8958]

she right!

[@malik.malik2189]

I love how straight forward she is

[@summersdiary7]

“What did they mirror on to me” So deep! Yes, we’re the common denominator in every relationship, so look inside. Thanks Iyanla!

[@BreenyLee]

This is excellent.

[@dovetales3]

So grateful I have built myself to a place to be able to hear and receive this message. There are so many who choose to suffer when we have messengers like Ms. Iyanla to guide us along the way. Thank you Ms Iyanla for speaking life into us, for loving us, and for giving of yourself- to us. God Bless You and I Love you!

[@ledesalaura6793]

We created and attracted the person...because of our unconscious belief about ourselves...I am the problem, I am the solution, I am the one I am looking for! Thank You so much. Your amazing!

[@jasminetuck216]

On pop

[@carmellatte71]

This is for people who want to know or better understand themselves, desire to be better RESPONSIBLE and unafraid to do the work to get to that place..I Love you all for that courage!!!! We Rock!!!! Thank you Iyanla (Our ~ Great Mother) ...

[@yvetteglory6670]

I so needed to hear this on today. I too longed for that love from the outside only to discover time and again that I needed to accept and love myself just as I am. That means all of those things that I thought and felt were not perfect or good enough. I have always struggled with self acceptance especially when it came to my personal appearance. I'm too fat. My hair is too nappy. Why do I have freckles? My breast are too big and my butt not big enough or its flat. My feet are too big and flat..the list goes on and on. So how was love going to find me when I didn't have the capacity to even love myself...just as I am? I am currently on a journey of self love and am discovering so many amazing things about me!! I am divorced and happily single parent of 3 beautiful/handsome grown and semi grown children and one handsome grandson! I've allowed how I viewed myself based off how I thought other's viewed me, and tried to hide or stay under the radar for so much of my life. I feel such peace and happiness at this point in my life. I am single and happy. I'm finally pursuing my advanced degree-something I've wanted to do for a long time but was too afraid to believe that I could. I'm doing things I've only dreamed of doing! Taking my family on vacations and cruises! I never would have thought. By choice, I am single now and am happy and at peace! Just as Sis. Iyanla said, I was attracting exactly what I thought I deserved..I knew I needed to step aside and take a deep hard look within! I am becoming more accepting of me, who I am and the importance that is me! Thank you Lord for guiding me to Sister Iyanla in reaffirming this journey of self discovery and self love! God bless you all!

[@soniafrank39]

yvette Glory66 hello I see myself the same reading your story help me alot

[@vickyoningo4923]

Thank for the video I've learned alot from it.but I have one problem.I always attract rich men they love me and respect me but the problem despite being rich they never give me financial support.I would see my friends showered with gifts but me none.i have broken 2 relationships bcoz of that.now the third is the same.what do I do to change my situation?

[@helenegates9576]

Any tips on self love and acceptance. I’m currently on this journey now. My divorce forced me to say it’s time to love yourself.

[@rawadsheikh476]

God bless u so happy for you

[@TheVanna220]

So deep....I'm trying to do the work... the internal work...when she said "you are the one"... literally brought me to tears...who needs a shrink when you have a spiritual mother like Iyanla...

[@kasilversun951]

Perfect! When the student is ready the teacher ... and the message ... appears. So grateful, grateful, grateful for you my beloved Iyanla! Another step of progress ... this caterpillar is ready to become that butterfly. ❤️

[@kellymatthews3732]

Karen Asconi so very true

[@immamullen]

WOW!!! This touched me to my soul!!!!

[@LauraRyan2007]

That last sentence was EVERYTHING! ❤️

[@mahogany1967]

This is so painful to hear, but it is so true for me! In romantic relationships, I have always blamed myself (rather than the man), but just never understood why I continued to end up in unhealthy relationships with men, and friendships with women who betray me. But I have come a long way, still learning and growing.

[@kellymatthews3732]

Tyra Peterson you go girl ❤️🙏

[@carrieruthven1448]

my dad bless his soul as he soars with angels told me when I was teenager a miserable teenager. That if I waited for something or someone to make me happy I would be forever miserable. He said only I had the ability to make me happy. 12 years since he passed and I hold that memory. Cause he was right! Doesn't mean it's always easy to do xx

[@jonathangutierrez3151]

Carrie Ruthven wow, I have forgotten that powerful lesson, I know I have heard it but I was not ready to absorb, reflect and accept the truth. God bless us for our open hearts and how grateful am I to get older, and wiser for accepting this TRUTH

[@msfredijr]

This helped me right where I am at this moment. You are a true, honest blessing Ms. Vanzant. 🌹

[@victoriabellanova2280]

This was perfect for me now. I've been separated now for almost 4 years. it's all me I know now. thank you Miss Ilanya, again. Living with a broken heart is very hard. I need to watch this again and I will.

[@dewdrop4330]

Yes Sister 🙏 I have learned to be the one. I have redrawn boundaries. Now I trust myself to deal with anything because I am a new woman. Amen ❤️

[@shawnhill946]

Iyanla, I love it, because you speak with so much authority. You live this stuff!

[@christinemoses5737]

Luanda Luanda Luanda fix my life

[@Jasmyne444]

Amen!!

[@ZeeZee11111]

I have watched this video over 50+ times. No joke. Iyanla u r my spiritual mentor in this life. I'm from Cape Town South Africa and it would be the greatest gift to meet you one day. I kove you and thank you for single-handedly healing so much of my trauma. If God was a person, it would be you (for me).

[@BlackStorm555]

I wanted to be Sandra Dee, and have a moon Doggie. I wanted That girl's apartment and boyfriend, Jack and Jennifer's 90s love on Days of our lives. I was an unloved black girl wanting to be a white girl with parents, home, and love. Things denied me my entire life. I'm tired of looking for acceptance. I'm not white, I'm a beautiful black woman. I am love, I accept me. So I tell myself.😐

[@victoriabellanova2280]

I'm white and I have the same problems. God bless.

[@Anewyougq]

Black Storm believe it babes!

[@williammcvea1413]

Black Storm keep telling yourself because it's true!

[@cbcbmail1125]

Black Storm Girl this message was SENT to us, to you and me. We didn’t stumble on this by accident. Let’s keep listening to all of her messages and tell ourselves daily that WE matter. Because the fact is, we really do! 💕

[@rochelles_world__6627]

made me cry, but my soul feels at peace with this message, god bless u and us all ❤

[@adub9262]

rochelles_world __ made me cry too but I so needed to hear this!

[@marciavaldez7767]

Profound. I think I need to hear this message daily till I get myself in order.

[@MrJohnKang]

Marcia Valdez wow so true

[@yarwnna]

I have been 'no contact' for 3 months in order to gain clarity into who I am and it has revealed so much. It has NOT been a painless journey be any means but not as painful as the life I've been living. This video really struck the deepest part of me and has me looking at everything differently; a complete breakthrough. Thank you so much Iyanla.

[@krissyg9736]

Iyanla, you are such a gift to me, the way in which you explain each teaching, in terms that hit me as TRUTH!!! I am so grateful to have been introduced to your teachings. Please keep up the amazing, important work helping us to live more loving, fulfilling lives.

[@nikkigillis8199]

And just like that....she's the truth...

[@siashayo5577]

Separate from God...separate from love.. A lesson for me. Thanks a lot mam

[@tiachantel]

YOU are the problem & YOU are the solution 👏🏼🙌🏻❤️

[@ltd4895]

This is a great (thumbs up) short yet powerful message!!! It is essentially the explanation of the proverbs, "As a person thinketh in their heart, so is she/he; and, "Above all else, guard your heart for everything you do flows from it!" It's a verbal illustration of being careful to "watch our beliefs as they become our thoughts; thoughts, words; words, actions; actions, habits; habits, character and ultimately our destiny and identity. I'd love to see an extended version focusing on the How. This episode's lesson(s) gives us the WHO (YOU), WHAT (the problem and answer to why YOU can't find the "right" one), WHEN (now), WHERE (whatever emotional, mental and spiritual place YOU are in now) and a touch of the How (recognize and deal with YOU). I believe the point of departure relies on YOU responding to YOUR narrative of codependency and trusting yourself.

[@LovePotionNo.9]

I come here for shelter when the storms of life are too much for me to tolerate. Thank you for uploading this because it encourages a person to acknowledge that they are first and foremost, The One. Many of us ignore who we are and ignore or dismiss what we want and need because we don’t see the value in ourselves but we can see everything in other people. I’ve been doing this in all my relationships (both past and current) it wears me out

[@kellymatthews3732]

I’ve only just discovered lyanla I absolutely love this beautiful lady her teaching in this episode was spot on, she has changed me. I AM.

[@Unikadanceevents]

So, I have watched this 3 times! and each time I see something deeper. wow, wow, wow!!!! love you Iyanla - I have followed your work since I was 17. I am 34 now. So thankful for this video! Going to do some journaling - I have a lot to look at within myself! :-)

[@joysmith7348]

You are inspiration

[@dream2sea]

Grateful for your love and guidance!

[@wallyadams3531]

I have been attracting wrong people,maybe i'm too accomodative and people end up taking advantage of my kindness

[@C53Maximoff]

damn child that was powerful brutal but loving and powerful

[@bajanfan0260]

This segment has helped me so much. I listen to it often. I honestly have learned and healed the last broken parts of myself with the help of this video. The Lord lead me hear, and Sister Iyanla confirms so much that God has told me personally and through His holy word. Thank you Iyanla! Many blessings to you!.

[@makinithappen9562]

I'm addicted to the truth of your teaching and wisdom. May god bless and keep you in our lives for the support that is greatly needed.

[@lizw3988]

Thank God for you Miss Iyanla. I am listening to this over and over and over. And sharing it with my children. You are a miracle in my life.

[@deannareynolds5710]

Wow, wow, wow!!! As Oprah says I just had a huge "A-HA" moment!!! I needed to hear this message today thank you Iyanla you have given me an insight I so deeply needed to hear. Bless you, amazing woman!!

[@tygarcia1878]

You are truly heaven sent. I now have closure and clarity. I can now move forward. But I think I will take my time before I choose to love again. Thank you Iyanla ❤💋

[@kitten8242]

Very deep. I will have to listen to this several times.

[@variennecloete3962]

My gosh you are such a wonderful inspiration. I regard you as a Mother to me something I never had. I treasure you

[@lucyluca6680]

iyanla saved my marriage....she changed my life

[@kevniwoodside5015]

How do you always know what to upload RIGHT as the problem occurs in my life Iyanla?

[@TL-kt2ye]

Preach Iyanla...

[@mikeserritella5848]

This video is so accurate. Thank you for sharing it Iyanla. For years I searched for someone to who would love me the way I thought I needed and wanted to be loved. One day I also realized that the person I needed and wanted to love me was myself. Since that day I made loving myself an absolute priority, and I made treating myself well the ultimate goal of my life. I found so many ways to love and nurture myself, the most important being regular food and exercise, spiritual practice, dancing, and community with friends. Since learning to nurture myself, my life transformed. I no longer had to search for someone to love me, or for someone to meet my needs. My friends and loved learned to care and nurture themselves by watching me nurture myself. This change in perspective changed all my relationships into loving relationships. Now I understand that when I am hurt, angry, or crabby, I am having a hard time meeting my needs, and I can think of new ways to meet my needs. I can bring a new energy to my life by giving more to myself. I no longer have to ask others to do for me what I am not doing for myself. I use to watch an Iyanla video every day, and I have rediscovered her videos. She is truly a spiritual light in this world, and I would recommend to anyone that they subscribe to her channel.

[@authentica6345]

I looked at my past relationships.....I got it.

[@DestinyC1020]

Iyanla is SO on point.... She is speaking truth! It might be painful to hear the truth, but I SO needed to hear this today. Time for a healing. :)

[@stingcoldplay1]

The Spirit within you is beautiful. Thank you for being loving, knowledgeable, kind.

[@myblackvillage]

Since my 1st interaction with Iyanla Vanzant in 1995 her teachings have profoundly impacted my life on so many levels. Give Thanks for the wisdom of Goddess/High Priestess "Iyanla Vanzant" ~ I love you!

[@cecycoatly]

I'm so thankful to hear this, it has changed my mentality.. I have been listening and watching this videos ... i was sumerge in this negatively and feeling sorry for my self for too long but now I see more clearly, that yes in deed the problem was with me ... I'm working every day to accept me, love me, understand me, I'm the only one who can love my self more than anyone...I'm the one ..thank u😊

[@gloryolomi7]

I just feel like crying..... I have had two love relationships at different times. Listening to Iyanla i can clearly seee the behaviors that these two bfs demonstrateed to me exactly just like my father...... Oh my God i am sooooooo blownnnnnnnnnn!!!! Especially in this episode just sooooo trueeee ....

[@naturallydope6971]

Iyania, you are talking to me! Thank you!

[@kimdean5890]

Thank you Ms. Vanzant. I'm in my late 40's and still believed I was unloveable. After setting boundaries and taking time for myself, others have not been able to accept my wishes. It's been a challenge. With abuse through childhood from an abusive, alcoholic mother who told me I was a mistake. She said this to me in my late 20's. I still look for safety in the wrong places, not within myself. As a mother, I did not stay in an abusive marriage because I did not want my daughter to believe the same. I've taken my journey as a lesson and new paths. Thank you for making it plain. The solution is me.

[@sapphireblue2987]

I listened to this video three times: the first time I said OK , the second time I said oh! the third time time I said praise the lord , this is meant for me!

[@sparksfly2557]

Love the Course of Miracles, I'm reading it.

[@GweneverElektra]

Loud and clear.... I loved your explanation. First time I've heard you. So happy! Lots of love and appreciation from Spain!

[@yishiy999]

great teacher!

[@jazzeleewilliams5796]

man oh man oh man!! thank you Iyanla for this. really needed to hear this right now.

[@eringray3796]

The very last line of this has me in tears. One of my favorite scriptures is NOTHING can separate us from the Love of God, and I have not seen as myself as a reflection of this scripture NOR have I been living it. #DoOver #IWillGetThisRightThisTime #ItStartsWithMe

[@karziflora]

What a priceless lesson, Thanks for sharing your wisdom with us beloved Iyanla!

[@mariahb8927]

Yes, yes, yes! I needed all of this. You are so appreciated, Ms. Iyanla. You've helped me in more ways than one. I'm going to watch this several more times.

[@annsmith7207]

Iyanla Vanzant is terrific in explaining excerpts from the book, A Course in Miracles. Consider purchasing a copy of the book which will augment what Iyanla is explaining. Highly recommended✨

[@CalligraphyArts]

Hearing such truth and wisdom is like breaking through deep water to come up for air. Thank you!

[@coacoa43]

I don't believe in coincidence. So as I was searching for another crochet project, I find you with the message I needed to hear today. Thank you for inspiring me today, and keep on loving on us all. Miracles and blessings to you.

[@b4realjenkins625]

This sounds like my childhood, got in counseling for me and my issues and learned more about myself and how to love myself and build real family and friends relationship that was base in truth and love you are awesome I love your transparency please keep teaching.

[@sekinatmusa5199]

Woman of wisdom, thank you so much for sharing your experince.

[@linda9389]

I discovered this through prayer. One day I sat down and notice the women that had been in my life and I noticed the pattern of their behavior, for years I blame them until one day in prayer God showed me why I attracted these kind of women and men in my life. I had to love myself unconditionally, I had to forgive myself also it's really to much to write down. I'm so glad I'm free. Thank you Iyanla Vannzant for your wisdom

[@pamelabonnett7444]

Great teaching of realization. Love it.

[@DiogoF.]

Oh my beloved Miss Iyanla, I already recognize some of the premises from watching you extensively before and I also recognize that you can cure souls. You are my spiritual doctor. Thank you so much for all you gave into my life :)

[@chystie08]

This whole 19:47secs of video changed my life. So thankful for you Iyanla ❤️

[@joycettabutler5692]

Thank you for the great insight. I am learning to love, trust, date, and honor me, so I can attract the right one to love me.

[@cassandracambridge1048]

I needed this today and you are a God send! I am enough for me!

[@DjNN01]

I just so appreciate your anointing, thank you God for the vessel and the vulnerability so I can receive this message holistically💗I just love this woman🙌🏾

[@jenesisjene6343]

This was good. I needed this. Thank you. I am a broken individual. Been for a long time. Trying to fight depression to help myself😀. Thank you..

[@jueileeneileen4808]

I Love You Iyanla❤️❤️this word brought tears to my eyes..working on loving myself..what an epiphany

[@submissivesongstress7554]

Ms. Iyanla; you are such an inspiration. I thank you for your honesty, words of affirmation and confirmation, healing and teaching. I love you, my sister. You have been and continue to be a blessing to me.

[@blackpowerdiva4958]

While I've heard this concept time & again, you have a remarkable gift for words that makes it easier to understand & break down steps in thought that can help better begin to CONQUER the issue at hand. Again, thank you. I am SO moved by this message. And that's not easy to do to me

[@susanmohamed7951]

Wow one of the most powerful and empowering messages! Thank you so much!

[@faithayeni204]

*#*Hi dear| if you seriously want help to get your ex back or a specific person I know of a man| who helped me bring my ex back he can also help you*#*

[@faithayeni204]

*Whats@pp him now*

[@cicelyhoward9625]

You are just absolutely a breathe of fresh air...thanks for teaching and educating us ... Love you ❤❤❤❤

[@ИринаТуктамышева-з1й]

Thank you so much, dear Iyanla...

[@almamia229]

wow! god bless you and your strength....you are living proof that by being true to yourself and loving yourself, anything is possible. Im asking the universe to be able to meet you someday....big hug

[@naidaugan8087]

God bless this woman. Its so powerful, I am living this amazing transformation since I really love myself.

[@TheAMW]

Almost didnt watch this. Very great video!

[@LToote]

This sits well in my soul...I also realized that I hurt people like I was hurt and it wasn’t fair or right. That’s what makes me want to love myself in addition to wanting to attract the love of my life.

[@angiedshar1090]

She just unpacked all my ishhhh!!!!

[@Selflovematters4life]

I watched this months ago but something over the last few days made me seek it out...something resonated louder this time. Before it made sense but now I can actually feel what she says within my spirit. After divorcing over a yr ago I recall going to see my counselor right after my hearing. All I remember saying was...I need to know how I attracted this person in my life...see I spent months blaming and shaming him but it wasn't until I took the focus off of him that I was about to heal and grow in ways I didn't know were possible. Dating again is so different now....whenever I find myself thinking what the other person is thinking of me...I stop and ask...What do I think and believe about myself? People truly do mirror aspects of ourselves. I am so grateful for this space. To live more consciously.

[@michellemoss3779]

You talk me down so many times!! Love you lady!!

[@sellmav]

Her transparency and self acceptance...oh lord....