Chronic Illness Acceptance is Not Anti Recovery - A Health Catch Up

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

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[@sunnylove1008]

Please never feel like you don't do enough for your supporters. All the videos that you've already put out are more than enough to merit being fully supported indefinitely. You've already helped so much! 💕🤗💕

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

I appreciate and love you so much, thank you!

[@sunnylove1008]

@@FinnTheInfinncible Ditto!💕

[@stefaniedecoster2772]

Well said as usual Finn! It's really hard to let go of the 'When *insert something here* is done, I'll be able to ....' even when you know life doesn't work like that.

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Yep it's so hard! But all we ever have is now and when we live in the now, nothing is really a problem is it?!

[@stefaniedecoster2772]

@@FinnTheInfinncible exactly!

[@websurfer5772]

I think that ME can start out with depression actually. Like I think it could be part of the whole disease process which is why the medical profession gets so confused about ME vs Depression. When I was a kid I suffered with severe depression for months at a time, sometimes. My physical symptoms didn't take me down until I came down with strep throat and then EBV in college, and the latter had me completely bedridden with a very stiff neck for 8 months. I was able to graduate college and teach for over a decade but I grieved like mad when I had to stop. I didn't even know I'd have to because I didn't realize how much worse I was as I was so used to pushing through all the symptoms all the time. I bawled and bawled and could not stop sobbing. I'm serious. This went on for years. Then it stopped for awhile and then my grieving returned with a vengeance because I ended up with only a handful of people who even believe me and get it. The losses have been unreal. Having to declare disability wrecked my life, but after grieving for over another decade I've since learned how to keep my spirits up and I'm determined to stay like this now and I'm in it for the long haul. Have you ever checked out your astrological natal chart? I swear this is all in mine. I friggin' signed up for this crapola. I couldn't believe it when I found that out. I found out our natal charts are blueprints of our lives that we created before we incarnated into this lifetime. Pip's wonderful 😊 I like being with people and not having to communicate with them too now. When this was mild I could socialize normally. Years ago I went from being able to swim laps with the flip at the ends of the pool, to getting myself into the water only to find I was too tired to actually swim. That was upsetting. I bought one of those vests that holds you up in the water, you can get 'em online and they're fun to use. The swim vest allowed me to do some laps but then my club had outbreaks of skin diseases at the pool and people's cars were being messed with or taken from the parking lot, and on top of that for other health reasons I had to stop. After I got over the EBV, which took 8 months, I gradually got back into the swing of things and I could almost always push myself through my symptoms without any noticeable PEM. However, I'm wondering now if I did have PEM to some degree and just didn't realize it. There's definitely been no mistaking PEM since my illness became severe though. I had no social anxiety when it was mild, but it's through the roof ever since my ME went severe. I've had people give me sooo much crap for not working, I can't even tell you. It's astounding to me how stupid they all are. Or they're evil. 🤷‍♀ Every day I say to myself, "Julie Andrews, Blake Edwards", because they weren't believed by their Hollywood friends when they put on a fund-raising dinner with a doctor explaining ME using a slideshow. No one gave a dam (sic) or a dime. Blake Edwards was the co-writer and director of the Pink Panther movies among many other achievements, and he had come down with ME. He and Julie were a power couple in Hollywood at the time. The article about this said they became depressed from the lack of support and not being believed. I'm not depressed but I am angry. Anyway, if people don't believe Mary Poppins, how could I ever expect them to believe me??! So, I'm faking it don't you know. Yes. That's why I've written all this. Go me -- or actually, Go ME, please. People do get better spontaneously sometimes and they have no idea why. This is the weirdest illness on Planet Earth. I'm sorry to hear you can't go to festivals anymore. That's messed up. Glastonbury concerts are some of my faves on TV - I live in the US. They look like the best festivals ever, especially if you love to rock out to excellent music. Glad to hear you can still camp or glamp. Yay! Finn, your video is making me feel like opening up so I had to go on and on just now. Thank you. I have a feeling you might continue to have this affect on me. ‼WARNING‼ WARNING‼ Finn, stop with the Guilt. Staaaahp!! Guilt is not allowed. Read this and enjoy it if you see it, but do not feel you need to respond at all. I would never expect that from healthy content creators let alone someone with ME. This is the 2nd video I've watched of yours and you are doing an amazing job. Thank you. Go easy on yourself, Man.

[@wildgardens]

Love it when I see your videos pop up its like a cosy therapy session as everything you say is so validating for those of us dealing with ME/CFS, POTS etc. You say all the right things :)

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

What a lovely comment to find! Thank you for these incredibly kind words!

[@wildgardens]

@@FinnTheInfinncible You're most welcome :)

[@SalanderSays]

As a subscriber of 5+ years, I’m proud and happy that you’ve had a shift to prioritize your health! I’ve learned a lot from watching it happen too. Always enjoy your videos and rewatching old ones.

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Bless you buddy that means the world to me. It's been such a shift to deal with and I'm still shifting! I'm enjoying sharing it so it's good to know it's valued and is of benefit, thank you!!💜🌈

[@amyayars-evans4666]

Your acceptance and adaptation is what it is all about my boy!! Well done!! Keep in that mode my dude.

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Love you!!!!!💜💜💜💜

[@philippa5892]

Always so happy to see one of your videos pop up! Thank you for bringing positivity and realism to this extremely tough journey. It's really inspiring for someone going through the same thing. I read somewhere that "a good day is good enough" and that's what I use to inspire my pacing; and just aim for good days rather than the impossible task of regaining our old lives. For now! Who knows what the future will hold. Best of luck on your journey

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

A good day is good enough, I like that! Thank you for your incredibly kind words. I completely agree, trying to regain our old lives is futile, and painful and a waste of precious energy! Im open to he future but accepting the now is a much less painful way of being. All he best to you to my friend!

[@lizstubbs2969]

Much love to you Finn thank you for continuing to share your story with openness and honesty ❤

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Thank you for your lovely comment and your support ❤️🙏

[@lizstubbs2969]

@@FinnTheInfinncible you're very welcome xx ❤️

[@silvermoonuk]

Hi 👋 👋 👋 I have fibromyalgia. But I have other long term health issues, such as autism, depression, scoliosis, etc. I spend majority of my time housebound. I rarely leave my home and when I do, I can only go short distances away from my bungalow. I don't like the chronic pain. But the chronic fatigue is horrible. I don't know about others, but I am finding the lack of support and understanding from others very difficult. Xx ❤️

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

I completely understand. These chronic conditions, especially with their invisible aspects, are so misunderstood and this makes people incredibly unaware and often unhelpful and I've found that the hardest to deal with. I've had to learn that I don't owe anyone justification or an explanation. Those that love and support me fully don't require it! There are some amazing support groups online and I've found that a great way to get validation and understanding from people who get it. Sending love your way

[@maya6476]

thank you for talking about this. my ME/CFS just forced me to quit my job. because of things i've heard from careless family members, i started to worry that not working might worsen my already poor mental health. this video just reinforced my initial thought which was that i'll be happier because i'll be able to do things aside from work that i actually enjoy much more

[@lainemar]

I’m so glad you’re sharing your story, thank you! 🥰 I was diagnosed with ME at the beginning of the year and this has been such a help 😊

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Im realy sorry you have this crappy illness but I am glad to hear my vlogs are helpful, welcome to the FinnFam

[@natashamason3328]

So very proud of you darling! So many wins this year, and many more to come. Love you lots 💜xxx

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Thanks lovely. Even when it rains poo flowers can grow!

[@kikomartin-pr]

Perfectly stated Finn. I’m so proud of you. I feel you will get a lot better. I’m so introverted that there’s no way I could do any festival. I get too anxious around lots of people. I’m so anxious around people that I’ll probably be single the rest of my life. I can’t go out and meet a woman in a public place or I will have a panic attack.

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Thanks my friend. I think this is actually far more helpful to my recovery long term! And I understand the anxiety. I am still working with mine, I have had so much therapy, counselling and other interventions and really, it gets no better. I like being around people, which is how I can do festivals, but I just don't like actually talking to people, which is why I've always preferred to go to festivals alone! As for dating, Ive always been a hot mess with that too! only ever met people because I was drunk! Sober dating was hard, and my word was I awkward, the first date with Chris was just hilariously bad, but somehow we stuck! Don't give up hope. Perhaps youll gently meet a friend, who will over time turn nto something else. A more gentle slow introduction, with an understandng person sounds like what you need. Sending a ton of love your way

[@flowersstorms8863]

Dear brother, I know this acceptance to be a real pig to do - I struggle with it so much too 😥 You've dealing with this with so much grace (even though I'm sure it doesn't feel like it sometimes!) Accepting our new limitations is HARD but reframing our lives, as you and Chris are doing, and Hubby & I are doing too, seems to be the best approach. We can still do stuff, it's just different stuff. I hope you have a wonderful camping trip this weekend and can't wait to see your vlog/pics from it. Sending lots of love as always xx

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Thanks so much lovey. I know you understand and that means the world. I find the biggest thing is not comparing,.like saying I used to be able xyz, , as that makes me instantly miserable, so yes it's about doing different things , brand new things, and acknowledging just how many new and different things there are available to me, even at a slower pace! I think we are both so lucky to have amazing men in our lives 💕 I'm excited for this weekend, we have a much better canopy, a much more energy friendly set up! Can't wait to share pics! Sending love!

[@tracysmith9393]

Oh thank you for the shout out i think that was me who made the comment in one of your last vlogs. Accepting is really hard for me. I am mother and a wife so I feel that I'm letting people down all the time. My family are so supportive I think it's how I believe people perceive me stay at home mum to teens who doesn't work and doesn't have a perfect clean home etc Its been 5 years since i went on medical pension. My cfs is so chaotic i always feel like a fraud. I can have good periods so i think i can do to find it's because ive taken care and protected my energy because i always feel crap again soon after. I have a mirage of symptoms throughout. The latest being essential tremor of the head. Head nodding almost constantly is tough. Ive also done my achillies tendon in... again.... so eventually gave in and got a walking aid. Maybe im adjusting without realising. I think a big part of my acceptance is linked to me being very aware that there are far worse of than me who are bed bound and i feel guilty for my better level of health. Its such a confusing illness especially when its so much a hidden disability. Im not really good at being sick yet lol Society doesnt help i guess as were told to keep going, find ways to cure ourselves. I needed this thank you. X

[@clarysagemannoroth]

BIG hugs Finn! It's nice to hear about all the good things going on in your life this year. Pipp is so lovely =) Take good care!!!

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Thank you so much, there are so many good things! Thanks for watching, and for your lovely words!

[@clairek-s8918]

I want the acceptance you’ve found! So inspiring. I tend, on my bad days with schizoaffective disorder, to feel like all of life is dark and always will be. But I’m starting to have good days and it’s so important to remember those! I have another mental health condition that makes this innately hard so I’m still learning at my great age, but i want to get there!

[@Moosh207]

I like listening to John Lennon's 'Watching the Wheels'. It brings me back to the moment that Im in and know that its alright to just Be, just because I want to. And that's enough. Its easier said than done sometimes, but in those moments its nice to hear what he has to say and reinforce the meaning of knowing its ok to let go of what doesnt serve me in those moments and just Be. There's a beautiful chapter in your life where you wrote one of the most beautiful books, and documented every stage of your transition as a gift to the world in your youtube videos. Its one of my favourite chapters of your life which makes me very proud of you. There's many self nurturing skills that you showed us during that chapter such as adaptability, giving yourself permission to be you, taking ownership of your intuition and wisdom. These are skills that are adaptable to your life now and belong in this chapter, cos they will help you lead the way in your health needs. People who care about you and get you is all that matters, and there are many. I guess being in the public eye you'd also get trolls sending you messages as well. They don't matter. You're much braver and loving than they will ever be. You're a gift to the world no matter what chapter of life you're in and Im glad you're around ❤️ I love watching your videos too xx

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Hello lovely! How wonderful to find your comment . Thank you for these lovely words. Im learning to love this new chapter im in and having others appreciate it really helps too, thank you!

[@CoMorbiditty]

You know what Finn...its so good that you got Pip when you did. He has been your bridge between the old life and the new. He will always be there in whatever way you present him. Isnt it funny how you try to reclaim the losses, because you think it will be over soon, but then have to be in the here and now and just work through the MCFS and making sense of it all. I have to make sense of what ever comes along. Life does have meaning in many ways. Support groups help. Onwards and upwards!!

[@irenes6627]

Wow I need to hear this today. Last night, then this morning I'm not myself at all due to looking back at my old life 😢 you'd think 7 years with chronic illness I would be better at looking forward 😂 Anyway, thank you and take care of you ❤

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Bless you. I get it. We had an idea of who we were and who we thought we were going to be and this awful illness stole that. Grieving takes time, and it has stages that we go back and forth on, .I'm still not done with all that I'm sure! It's a long process. But, learning to love the person we are now, with chronic illness, and finding a way to build a slow life we love, is really key in this acceptance. It's so easy to say, what's exciting about going around the block on my wheelchair once a month when I used to go walking on the hills and camping?! But we have to reframe it and stop comparing. That's the work I've done this year and I feel so much better. Now a wheelchair stroll around the block is pure joy and a massive achievement and something I can see as a standalone massive new life achievement! Sending love your way

[@sammorrisuk4584]

You could try fairport Cropredy convention near banbury. It's very accepting and friendly and it's very disabled friendly with disabled camping field next to the only stage and a disabled viewing platform with toilets by the sound stage and mobility scooter hire available if booked in advance, you don't need to go far. A good variety of music. I usually go but have surgery planned 3 weeks before.

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

I love Cropredy! I have been a few times, but not for many years! And they allow dogs! We might look at that, thanks for the reminder!

[@martinacassells2661]

First time I have found and listened to you today, I really connected with your words here. Subscribed xx

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

What a lovely comment! Thank you for subscribing, welcome to the FinnFam!⭐😁

[@kavitadeva]

Hi love 💕 I relate. I am so ill. Our difference is my adorable Service Dog Finn is my favorite thing. Why don't you go out in your mobility Scooter and let Pip trot next to you? My pup NEEDS A LOT OF PLAYING AND RUNNING. Just a thought.❤❤❤

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Hi lovely! Yes Pip walks really well with my electric wheelchair, did you see in my last video? My problem is getting out on my own. I struggle with that and can't do it very often. Pip and I get out together once a week on my better weeks, when he will then trot beside me next to my wheelchar. He does still go out every day. I have a dog walker, and Chris walks him. Then Chris and I take him out together at the weekend. Its easier for me to go out if I have help you see. I find that the energy t takes, to get my wheelchair out, drive it, see hwere im going, manage Pip, all that combined without another set of eyes and hands, can be too exhausting and overwhelming, hence not being able to do it very often

[@Lili-is4xf]

Did you try to use a fan directing air into the head/face? I feel it helps me with fatigue. Just curious if anyone has tried the same.

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

I do use a fan as I overheat due to my PoTS but I havent found it helps with fatigue, thats ineresting!

[@sipsdrewshin9169]

How did you reach the acceptance stage

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

It's been a long process and it's still ongoing. Its been a case of allowing myself to grieve for the me I lost, the life I thought I was going to have, and whilst still having hope for recovering, coming to terms with the fact that this is how things are at least for now. I've learned that comparing myself now to the old me brings only pain, saying I used to be able to do XYZ is futile, l have to instead find new things l can do and once l started to find a few and enjoy them, I started to find more joy in life again. Having lots of self kindness and compassion is key, we cannot help being unwell, resting isn't lazy, being able to do only a few small things is ok, and we must learn to be gentle with our self about that. All these things gradually add up to more self acceptance. It's like a muscle, the more we practice each of these the better we get at it. Sending hugs!

[@Tealover645]

Well said Finn!!!

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Thank you! And hanks for watching!

[@HumanExperienced]

Hey Finn! You’re lovely. I have a tough question that you’re of course not obligated to answer: Do you think there is a possibility that the chronic illness is related to bottom surgery? Was glad to see that it relieved your gender dysphoria but I am concerned there’s not enough long-term research on the effects of bottom surgery - and I’ve seen a lot of stories of people who have complications years down the line. Or perhaps you had chronic illness before the surgery and I just haven’t gotten that far into your content yet? Warm wishes 💓