Fired From Vocational Training Program - Q & A

[@therubymoon6484]

Bless you for having to deal with all the KZbin and Facebook “experts” who know more than you do… I like how you put it in one of your previous videos: “I’m not an autism expert, I’m a Jess expert”. Well said! I wish more people would cut you slack. You don’t have to put your life out there for everyone to give “helpful” commentary, but you do all the same. Thank you Val!

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Thank you so much for your kindness! ❤️

[@doreennicholas7291]

Jessica is in the right place with her family and care givers. She has lots of love for the things that matter to her. X

[@양지해-g6m]

I really relate to the people obsession. I have intense care and interests over humans. I want to know everything about them. The deep concern and anxiety of not know if you’re favorite human is ok is very real. I used to over message the human i cared about to gain information about their well being. Sometimes my concerns are misinterpreted as being clingy. Now I just tell myself nothing is permanent and that eases my care for my favorite human.

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Thank you for sharing! ❤️

[@katestraus4324]

Thank you for sharing your Bessie with all of us - through the good and bad. No one knows what you've gone through unless they've actually walked in your shoes! I love Jess, and your family, even if she's "unemployable."

[@ceceliamadden6329]

Such a broken system. Your life mirrors my life with my 2 autistic daughters. I feel your frustration and pain. You’re a great mom and it’s great that you have a good support system within your family.

[@susanmalak4945]

Yes Val have helped Tremendously! I needed to hear your n Jesse’s truth in this area. My son for the second time is at Goodwill. He’s on probation….and I’m dreading a very possible rejection again for him and I don’t want him coming out of there feeling like a failure because they didn’t have more support too. I’ll have to say their program is pretty good…but…it’s for higher functioning adults. This mom of a 28 yr. old has a better understanding of many things that are in my sons life because of your honesty. Thank you! God bless

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Definitely for higher functioning and they basically admitted as much. They were testing the waters so to speak, and it seriously didn’t work out.

[@anchovy48]

❤️If people have asked this question because they are in similar situations and hearing your experience helps them in some way then you couldn’t have explained it better 👏👏👏 .. If they ask in a judging manner and this explanation is still not “good enough” for them then that’s ridiculous and not cool at all. Anyway, I think Jessica does have a JOB… A job where she helps others 😊 she helps everyone who watches her videos, a window into a life not many of us live… and one which teaches understanding, compassion, learning, caring, love, compromise and family dynamics…. I know I have learnt a lot through watching your videos over the years… Thank you Val, Jessica, Hannah, Good daddy😉, Marlow, Nonny and Granddad, Madison and his wife, Mama Jo and of course all the dogs and cat😁 Watching your family has been a valuable learning experience… I hope you all know that❤️❤️❤️ (apologies if I misspelt anyone’s name)

[@caroleshaffer2243]

You are an amazing mom! I understand all of what you are saying. Nobody knows their child more than the parents. You owe nobody anything, you have done what is best for your daughter

[@juliemagel]

I am in awe of Jess and her care givers (Val, Hannah, Marlow, bad daddy) dedication to dealings with her desire to find meaningful work, acknowledging the areas that Jess struggles with. And having others see her as unemployable. To watch as Jess and her team think outside the box to deliver care while finding opportunities for development and growth is inspiring! I watched this video before Jess's vlog really took off. Now, when I re-watch this video, knowing her pride of having a job, actually feeling fulfilled by her work, and excited to pay taxes! This is utterly a testament to you all coming together and supporting Jess while delivering care, options, motivation, and dependability. I have watched , while you all have supported her through schedule changes, variety of schedules, new experiences and comfort and acceptance to live the life she wants to live Most importantly, Jess is developing for herself, making decisions in a variety of settings and topics, accepting support when needed, and achieve that awesome life she wants and has chosen to have!

[@bethanntaraba3910]

Great job communicating the individual requirements needed to meet Jess’s needs for a stable life! Y’all have done amazing.

[@deliaenright]

I totally understand. My sis was spec needs. Those programs didn’t meet her where she was at. Heartbreaking.

[@heidiely3243]

Oh, Val. Big hugs from me again. 💞 My heart was breaking too listening to this vlog. I was crying for sweet Jessica by the end. I know that day had to be so upsetting for her. I know this was another hard one for you to do for us. I wish things had been different with those people too and they would've been more insightful. Honestly, sometimes I think only the parents know what is what and what is best. I'm sorry you had that experience, especially Jessica, of course. We don't know until we know so thank you for your videos. I'm glad I'm still choosing to be here to watch and learn and love. I love your channel and you and your family. ♥️💞🤗 There have been some attacks in the comments on your social medias from others and it took a lot to sort that in my head and make choices on how to deal with that. Thankfully there are plenty of kind folks there as well and a couple stood up for me. I say all that because I cannot imagine what it is like for you to deal with these same types of people on the much grander scale that you do. I cannot imagine sorting through ALL of the opinions, suggestions and tips you get, both kind and thoughtful and not. I'm glad you're going to do more videos like this to help people but also to inform. I wish more people understood how complex and specific some of Jessica's challenges are and would not ask such personal questions as I have seen pop up recently. I know you will only post what you feel comfortable posting and what you feel is appropriate. I'm sorry for the people that ask personal questions that you do mind them asking and are inappropriate. I don't like to see you do a video that is hard but I'm glad you want to share your story and Jessica's for her and try and be of good service to others. Thank you. Love you all. ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️💞

[@saskia964]

As always, heaps of admiration: not only for what you’ve gone through, but how you share so gracefully.

[@Shaping_Serenity]

❤️

[@Ells172]

Val, people always think they know better. I know, that Mom’s know their own the best! You are so special to have Jess, and Jess SO Blessed to have you!

[@Lisatruck]

Thank you for that explanation - not that you need to explain anything. Your straight forward information has taught me valuable things about autism and other disabilities.

[@ritapeppers9509]

Sounds like she was set up to fail from the get go with goodwill and vocational training.. I think you have done a amazing job with her and I admire your tenacity!

[@carolynwood9400]

Sounds like they weren't sure what to do or how to handle Jess, do they let her go. How cruel of them. You are doing an awesome job.

[@nope5462]

She is a honey!!! She is so caring ( does she have siblings) give her a live baby (fake doll) but teaches her responsibility and she may find enjoyment!! Or see if she can help other kids with the same issues at a school… my autistc son needs someone who understands

[@MiracleMadness17]

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm glad you found Jessica's "just right fit". You are teaching so much. I'm a future Occupational Therapist and you taught me a lot from this story.

[@lisacounts7987]

I love, love, love how you advocate for Jess! For some, unless you have a family member or have worked with people with ID, they have no clue and the behaviors make absolutely no sense to them. There's a lot that can't conceive the notion that some people are just "wired" differently. There is more tolerance now than in the past... however, this should be accepted not tolerated. I enjoy your videos immensely and and cheer you all on in your daily lives, because your all amazing!!

[@lisalynch9006]

Wow what a powerful video! I’ve enjoyed watching Jess and your family for a while now and every video is uplifting in some way or another. Even the ones such as this that feels as though it was hard for you to make. I don’t have any experience per se with Autism but as one mother to another, I can see the love and determination you have in your heart and soul for Jess. The rest of your family are all awesome and so personable but YOU Val…… you are a once in a blue moon Momma! Please accept the proudness a complete stranger feels for you as a strong woman! (Oh, and I love black poodles! Had 2 in my life💕)

[@jbugross]

You deserve a METAL, Val!!!!! That situation at Goodwill absolutely broke my heart and I felt myself getting so angry in the beginning but then I just reminded myself that God just didn’t want her there and he was already protecting you and her from that situation and it’s something to be thankful for! Jessica is a beautiful young lady and she has already found her place in this world and it’s beautiful! I know it’s not always easy on you Momma but please pat yourself on the back because you are doing one heckuva job ❤️ ((HUGSSSSS)) ((HUGSSSSS))

[@theedenadventures]

What you’re saying about her fixation on people is a major issue with my daughter, she’s only 5 and I can see it getting more challenging as she gets older. The first time it was a major problem was when she was at pre-school, one day she just started refusing to go in, major meltdowns , lots of anxiety , not sleeping etc and if seemingly came out of nowhere (and it was the event that prompted her being referred for an autism assessment so that’s a positive thing that came out of it!) so after discussions with the staff and looking at the previous couple of weeks turned out that a little boy had joined the class and the girl that she was massively attached to had become friends with him and wanted to play / talk with him and she couldn’t cope with the idea that her best friend wanted to have other friends , do other things and was convinced the girl hated her suddenly and couldn’t understand why! She never resettled at that settling , then it closed for covid. When she started at school the same thing happened , she attached herself to another child in the class , followed her around , wanted to play with her and work with her and didn’t let her out of her sight , if she needed the toilet or needed to go hand her coat up she’d drag this other girl along with her, she’d queue at the gate in the morning and stare at the back of the line waiting for this girl to arrive before she’d consider going to class and in the end (unsurprisingly!) the girl got fed up of being her little pet, so the teachers started trying to separate them , put them in different small groups or had them do different tasks to get my daughter to engage with the rest the class and the very next day my girl refuses to go to school, crying refusing to get out the car because they took her friend. She did end up settling down when she realised that she could still see this girl and play with her etc just not be attached to her all day everyday! They’re in different classes this year so I’m wondering which way it’s going to go, am I going to get a flat out refusal to go in or is she going to transfer the obsession on to another child in her new class.

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Oh, I can really relate to the struggle. Thankfully (I guess) Jessica’s fixations were always on adults and never classmates except for one in high school. It just happened that friend moved in and out of town more than several times over the span of a few years and boy did that wreak havoc.

[@theedenadventures]

@@Shaping_Serenity she has had a couple of inappropriate attachments to adult males also (it’s interesting it seems to be small girls and adult males each time!) The first she was 2 and fell in love with an attendant at the fair that was in town for a week , she was distraught when he left again and last year alongside the obsession with her classmate she became very attached to one of the TAs in her class. The teen years are going to be fun!

[@gburritt]

I hate the cookie cutter world…Everyone has special needs, everyone wants to be understood, everyone wants compassion and kindness. It’s sad that there are people who decide to support children and adults with ‘special needs’ don’t have, or desire, the skills to see this. The lack of energy and initiative is appalling, due to lack of support, knowledge or skill. On the job training doesn’t work. it’s too common to have the administrators making the decisions and the teachers not involved in the process. The lack of teacher support in the classroom is ridiculous. It’s all about the money. And it festers. I’m so sorry that Jessica went through this experience. I’m so sorry your family went through this. Thankfully, there are people like you and your family in the world to help others understand Jessica. The cookie cutter model doesn’t work. Everyone has individual needs. Everyone. Intuition, the desire to understand WHY and HOW…most people need support to develop these skills. The support isn’t there. It costs too much many. And yet look how much they wasted. I’m on a rant. Sorry.

[@lululovesyou7618]

I love when people suggest " just redirect" regarding fixation/ Perseverating. Works for some it times about a well as trying to redirect a speeding train coming at you when you are only 10 ft from it. Of course we tried that! Bless their hearts.

[@Donoharm-p7k]

Love your message. Your life experience can and does show empathy, understanding, listening, is the key 🔑 for others, to be as you have been as a loving hands on parent. You are amazing Val.

[@jessicaellen9398]

I’m so glad Jessica has you as her mother. Your love, support and patience is something we can all learn from.

[@kimsta189]

You are an incredibly talented and powerful communicator, Val. Helping us to better understand autism one video at a time. So heartfelt and articulate. Thank you!

[@jkmotorcyclegloryroads532]

I agree 💯.

[@dawnjackson2190]

Wow, thank you Val. This has been an in depth topic. I'm so sorry. I was feeling the hurt that you as a Mother must've been feeling as well as Jess having to endure such scrutiny!! Your followers have to already know how attached Jess gets with people. It isn't even time for Marlow to start on some days and Jess worries that she won't show up. Another example is her Grandmother that passed. She still talks about her, worries about her and sometimes even uses her Grandmother voice. All of these things are just a glimpse into how sensitive and deep she cares!! God created her this way for his reasons and we should all take a page from Jess's book on how to care and love others!! Thank you for sharing such a hard topic with all of us!! Hugs to all of you!!!

[@margaretdavis7839]

I’m sure all this was equally as hard on you as it was Jess. I agree, Jess is blessed to have all of you!!

[@sportyfemme64]

I've only been watching a few months, but have watched SO much! I see Jessica's empathy, caring, loving nature. The rehabilitation vocational place seems a MILE off! Did they even see her? Get to KNOW her? Grr.. Thankfully, you all do! I'm sure it's a trial, but I'm also sure, she's loved beyond measure, right at home!

[@yvonnegarza6708]

Val I am just appalled that they didn’t have someone more educated and people oriented. That firing was just not the correct way to go.

[@latainekey7884]

My son is the same way!! If he thinks he’s helping someone he loved it !! My grandmother lived with my mom for 16yrs and even if it was just picking up something to getting her to set back down he would say that he was taking care of her so she didn’t fall or anything

[@gamom1]

I’m so sorry it didn’t work- now I understand more and I can’t see the hurt in your eyes even 12 years later. Thanks for explaining such things as her fixation with people because for people like me who don’t know you personally only from these short videos I was one of those people who said oh man it would be cool if Jess could text me, but hearing how changes cause her so much anxiety that would be an awful situation for her and your whole family- so thank you for sharing that. Sometimes because of these short pieces of your life we see ( myself mostly) I think of all my chronic daily anxiety and it’s easy for me to say I’d love to be friends with Jess she’s so caring and sweet, my I would never want her to worry so much about me.. I hope that makes sense. I do hope one day I can meet you and Marlowe ( sorry if I spelled it wrong) and Hannah. Thanks for sharing such personal experiences I’m sure it’s not easy

[@viccimauldin2235]

Jessica is a unique young woman who has many disabilities and it is not anyone's fault. She is not able to function as a "normal" person in this world because she is different and does not have the abilities to do so. Val, you have done everything you can for her and more than some mothers would do. I am not judging you. You are explaining your situation very well. Jessica was never designed to "fit in" the world which most of us function in. People can take advantage of people like her and abuse them and hurt them. Staying home with Jessica is the right thing to do. Keeps her safe. I know you have Marlo as a caretaker for her. You have tried and I know you will continue to teach her and help her to become independent. I saw a video recently of where she wants to move out in to an apartment. That is a wonderful dream. Will continue to support you and watch your videos. I have learned a few things while watching and appreciate you sharing with us. God bless you. :) You educate the public.

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Thank you.

[@jackies1597]

Wow, you and your family have been through a lot. I truly admire you and all your knowledge and experience. You should be part of the training to educate the experts. Your expertise is priceless!

[@karrifohey7848]

This video did really help me. Our service connection person did let us know about the self directed plan option. It does seem like a is a refreshing alternative because our daughter does not fit into any of the molds either. Therefore, those cannot and will not be helpful for us. In fact, they cause unnecessary anxiety which sets her back. I'm sure you can relate. It also helps me to see that is to see that you have radically accepted some things and moved on. That is very difficult but something that I am attempting to do as well. Thank you for being such an encourager of moms who are also fighting for their child to have the best possible life. You do really know best!

[@Shaping_Serenity]

❤️

[@EssenceOfLoveReborns]

it is just gross to me how the people at good will went to the trouble to assess Jess and find out what her interests were and then gave her jobs that were so much outside them. it's like they were trying to set her up for failure. sometimes it seems like when it comes to employment people with disabilities they just wanna place them whereever regardless of what their interests or passions are just so they can say look at us, we employed another one! Jess has her own thing going with people who love and want what’s best for her and that's awesome. she doesn’t need to fit into a box doing some meaningless job just so someone can check another box.

[@jkmotorcyclegloryroads532]

Such an interesting explanation of these voc assessments! Thank you very much!

[@StarsHallow]

Thank you for taking the time to explain it all so well. I had never really thought about this until after I watched the video but you’re able to explain different sides of disabilities or impairments that most people can’t articulate in a way others can understand. I think what you all do the very best possible for Jess and that’s the most important thing!

[@beatrizduran6547]

I can’t imagine all you have gone through, she is blessed to have all of you in her life 🥰🥰🥰

[@jessicarodriguez9594]

It’s very easy for people come up with all kinds of suggestions and unsolicited advice. Do they mean well? Probably. Is it useful to you? Probably not. We should all just be here to watch/support your journey. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, you Ms. Val are a ROCK STAR ⭐️

[@ChristinaFromFlint]

This helped somebody somewhere... Me. Right here in Heartbreak City. I think we are officially done w vocational programs too, and im so mad at the system I cant stand it. My boy is WONDERFUL and getting fired from this program isn't what he needed, OR DESERVES. Im so SO heartbroken and P'd off, Val... 💔

[@Shaping_Serenity]

I remember how devastating these types of incidences were over and over again. It really is like part of your heart breaks off every tome.

[@stefaniaangelina4438]

Your an amazing mama bear. Your strength means, love and willingness to share to help others learn and grow is inspiring. I know your children recognize how blessed they are to have you. I hope you know we see it too, in every moment of your life you so generously share with us “your good ones” Love from 🇨🇦

[@biancasrelaxationasmroasis7031]

I love these Q&As but I love how you stand by Jess not just as her mother but as a support system beyond motherhood. Even if it didnt feel like Jess "belong" or "Fit in" anywhere else before she found a place here you created a place for here and that's incredible. An Incredible Mom.❤ Thank You for sharing Jess and Your life with us.😊 Also sorry certain situation were so tough.❤

[@BlueBabyAkaAj]

They didn't deserve her! 😔 so happy Jess is happy today

[@angelajackson8029]

The employment programme failed Jessica , Jessica didn't fail.... Its the same here in the UK , the main focus is on targets & budgets instead of the person..... Your an amazing Mum ! X

[@vikkibyington3066]

Your private business with your daughter is your business and your family’s business! None of anyone else’s. I become so angry and defensive when I read the comments that are snarky and know-it-all. One thing I have learned in life, if nothing else, is everyone is not interested one whit about my opinion. You keep up what you are doing, Val. You are wonderful. Jess, Hannah and all the rest are wonderful! You welcome us into your lives and some people have the audacity to challenge you, tell you how to deal with your daughter, and with an attitude! If all I was watching your videos for was to pick you apart, I’d move on to someone whose life was not so stressful and serious. Maybe a cooking show…but you know what? the same kind of people criticize them as well. Fortunately, the good outweigh the bad. Hope you are feeling better, Val. 💜💜

[@swagobill]

thank you....I will just take what you said and use it to help me understand other people with autism. So that I can be more patient and understanding. We can all use a little more of that type of compassion.

[@Bmaki539]

anybody that gets fired is heartbreaking. Goodwill is a racket they get free stuff but make millions for the people who are in charge tax free!

[@hockeymomma1175]

I am So glad that Jess has a family like you guys! She is best with Y’all ! You are an amazing mother and woman!

[@Talls321]

I’m so beyond disgusted with Goodwill. They sound like they are looking for cheap labor & have spent no time trying to know their employees let alone knowing their strengths and weaknesses. They don’t deserve Jess. I bet if they found work for her with EMTs or stocking medical supplies, hell & bagging up bandages she would have shown them up! Im sorry you all had to go through with this. Something better will come along & Miss Jessica will shine!!!

[@patriciapolster327]

I admire your dedication to your family. I have also learned a lot which has helped me understand my nephew a bit more, as he is on the spectrum. Thanks!

[@debrabrown1206]

You know jess and you are great with her love it . You know her needs and you all are great with her . Hugs to yoy all

[@cindylou2313]

The vocational-rehab program had a crap-ass approach to “helping” special needs folk. Ridiculous! Jess is so fortunate to have an intelligent and loving family to take care of her and support her needs. KUDOS to you all, especially momma 😊💗🙌🏻

[@karrifohey7848]

I am so sorry that you and your sweet family have had to go through all of this. I have had similarly frustrating experiences trying to get care for my autistic daughter and for another daughter who had a life threatening eating disorder. It is very dismaying how hard it is to just get help. Even when you are a fierce advocate, the systems are severely lacking.

[@Dsgavidia]

What plan have you made for Jessica’s long term care in the future as she gets older and may lose one or both parents?

[@cpirkle3]

I am so sorry you have experienced all of these things between Supported Employment. and Day Services (ew). I am a provider and I hate all of these things that have happened. None of these situations should have played out the way they did. Work Evaluations are crap, Vocational Trainings are crap, most Day Services are crap. Customized Employment is the way - all based on the person, what they want and need with no "evaluation". Theres nothing to "fix" about Jessica!

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Yes! ❤️❤️❤️

[@sueviveros8827]

I have been taking care of people with severe disabilities for over 33 years, since i was 19 and i love watching how well you and your family do with jessica.I'ts wonderful to see family take care of family, because not everyone has that in life, its a tough road but to see her her have a fullfilled life im sure it makes it all worth it, i try my best with my residents , and treat them like family, but unfortunately not everyone does.

[@catchyname5403]

Goodwill is a damn sham and this story is infuriating.🤬 They continue to work their way around just enough to meet funding requirements yet have no positive impact on any community they “serve”. I say this from personal experience as well 🙄 Even without you telling us I would assure you have done everything for Jess. You are her mama and a wonderful mama at that so of course you’ve tried everything. Jess is not 15 nor 25 so you’ve been doing this waaaay long and you are the *expert* in Jess’ life. Bless you Val & ty for sharing.

[@SpeedyGrama]

God bless you and Jess. The system sucks. I'm so glad that Jess has the family and friends and support to be the blessing to others that she was always meant to be. She is what she is supposed to be,a caregiver to those of us who watch her videos and feel better. Thank you for struggling and overcoming and then sharing that so honestly.🥰🤣

[@susancamp4844]

You are a wonderful Mama Bear Val! Jessica is precious, and so are you! Also, I love that the family and Marlow enjoy their time with Jess too :)

[@carrierogers2797]

Iv no suggestions to make as I’m very sure you’ve tried everything Val. I think Jess has found her niche right here on KZbin, bringing joy to thousands of people and raising awareness of her autism and disabilities , both have so much more ‘value’ than folding tickets. You’re an amazing, strong mom who has clearly had to fight to create a life that is the best fit for Jess and your family 🥰

[@6rosebuds]

I understand exactly what they put her through only I didn't last 1-2 days before kicked out of vocational rehab. I am sad 😭they treated her like that and she was scared no one to hold them accountable. I love and follow fathering autism and they have to do everything to teach abbie to keep her safe from bad providers. My problem I finally have autism diagnosed few months ago i am now 46 there is no help for me only 8yo and younger we do remember them saying on the spectrum very early elementary school but couldn't tell mom what that ment. Sorry rabbit trail. Keep going mom.

[@stefwhey]

Ah, I understand that all completely. Heartbreaking. I still get it...the not fitting in, and hence the trying to do whatever to try to. Your Bessie is perfect just the way she is ❤️❤️❤️!!

[@leemalik2354]

You are a great mom to all your children, and a great advocate for Jessica. It is not easy parenting neurotypical children never-mind a special needs child throwing into the mix autism, blindness & anxiety. Every parent or caregiver also has their own well-belling & limitations that need to be considered. I love your family dynamics, and how you relate to real life issues. Keep doing what you’re doing. I, for one, truly enjoy your videos, and find them educational and inspirational.

[@aleitheagordon1245]

My adult son got fired from a program, also! I was called one afternoon and told “DO NOT BRING HIM BACK.” I still remember the desperate panic I felt because I had to work and had no safe options for him. This was just the beginning of the hopeless dead-end roads we found ourselves on once those public school doors closed for us. 😔

[@Shaping_Serenity]

It’s just such a cruel approach. Absolutely heartbreaking.

[@melissatindall6503]

Heart breaking story

[@melissatindall6503]

I’m a person with a disability and I went through the same thing with my first job but I was fired for not understanding the job they gave me!!! I was fired within my first hour there and they told everyone that they won’t hire another person who has a disability!!!!

[@mothermarie6057]

Thank you 🙏 for speaking up about a very serious topic I believe which would be the huge system failure we have going. 🤘🦋🦋 my Sissy would be so proud of you folks for standing up for those who can’t speak for themselves. I am too 💜🌈🙏

[@trishawilliams6915]

God bless all of you, this was so informative, what an amazing job you have done. I love your videos ❤️🤗

[@anneadams6578]

I can understand most of, but not all of course, i have mentioned my brother was severely handicapped, & watched my mother go through heartache many times trying to find vocation & care, failing. But she didnt fail..And neither have you, at ANYTHING. I see the same devotion in your kind face as i have my moms. They are both gone now, but she would have valued you as a friend. You are one fantastic lady. And so is ALL of her siblings & family. Ive lived it, but not as hard as you all. My hats off to you, maam.

[@katiehoak]

You mentioned Jess had meldowns, does she still? I totally understand why these would not be filmed, I'm just wondering how often they happen nowadays & if they are destructive physically? You mentioned she slammed her cane down & very well could've hit someone, but thankfully didn't. Does she understand when she's done something or said something unacceptable? Do you have a way to get that across like taking her phone or no cards or something like that which works for her?

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Jess totally understands and has immense remorse every time.

[@biancaflippen8572]

I’m sure it does make it hard to have had to quit job and still make a living and I would totally do that as well if I had kids or kid kids come first. It is so so heartbreaking that people that are supposed to be experienced to help other that have disabilities don’t help them with what they need and it turns back on the one that needs help. It so upsetting how our world is so ugly out here especially when it comes to trying to help other in need like Jess! Val you doing so amazing with Jess and it’s such a blessing you are able to do what you do for her and family . Jess has learned so much from you guys I’m sure more than she did at those places . Y’all are so amazing and Jess and the kids are so lucky and I’m sure blessed to be able to have you as there mother .! The brooks are such an amazing family!

[@leeannturinsky4028]

You are doing a fabulous job! My daughter became a special education teacher, She was influenced to do so because of her Autistic cousin. He’s now an adult, Much like Jessica, won’t live alone ever and gets fixated on people. Unless someone has walked in your shoes they will never understand. My nephew loves sea world as much as Jessica loves Disney World. He has a founders pass and lives close by the San Antonio park. There have been times he may have gone more than one time in a day.

[@leeannturinsky4028]

And I won’t even address how she was treated in the vocational program, there is zero excuse.

[@meganlovesdisneyandcrafts4780]

I’ve been fired from a legit real job that was required to graduate from my vocational high school....after a major surgery. Also been “ fired” from training . It’s ridiculous , the system is beyond broken.

[@nancyalmonte6334]

Thanks for making this Q&A. I always learn so much from you Val. Blessings 😊😊

[@dawnives109]

Thank you for giving us this insight into Jess 💕

[@Dee-wy8fn]

I REALLY ENJOYED THIS ITS NICE TO KNOW A BIT ABOUT JESSIES BEFORE YOU TUBE DAYS NO ONE NEEDS TO SUGGEST OR ADVISE ANYTHING VAL YOU ROCK XX

[@tammymurphy2499]

Why would people question you and your family. Only you know Jess and your family. I think what you do and your family are doing is great with Jess. When she’s having a off day you do everything Val to try to help her. I understand and you try to calm her down. Hey I don’t understand why others can’t see this. People should realize that you and your family KNOW WHAT WORKS FOR HER. You’ve even said before I don’t know what else to do Jess what can I do to help you and it’s like at that time there’s nothing but time to let time work things out itself. I don’t understand people anymore Wow. It’s like you need to put up a signs for them and say hey we’ve tried everything and we’re her family and this is what works for us.

[@Shaping_Serenity]

I agree, it’s bizarre!

[@cherylesorey1012]

I know where Jess gets here loving & caring ❤. From her Mama. Jess is where she belongs at home with her family who understand her. You are all so wonderful with her.

[@sallylehner3902]

Very interesting. I think what you have decided to do is the best decision!

[@trishr4390]

So frustrating for all of you. Sorry that you all have had to go through all of this. You all have such big and caring hearts. ❤️

[@mindyyoung5695]

A supervising adult that understands her needs should have been with her at all times. Something even worse could have happened then her hitting the chair with her cane. How sad for everyone involved.

[@cindyfern990]

Great video,very interesting, everyones different in every world.

[@jessesnow8920]

It's sad that the system they designed to help often fails...I've seen it firsthand my aunts whole life...they want her to do things she's just not capable of...my grandma said she was slapped in a school for disabled when she was 5 so she never tried again...I believe she just didn't want to fight so hard for what's right for my aunt. I took her out of a ICF home that was horrible and moved her home. She's been with us over a year now. She also got kicked out of a rehab nursing home because she was disturbing the other residents,wouldn't participate in rehab and wouldn't sleep or take her meds. We got daily calls for 5 days...6th day got sent home.

[@ahutton9821]

I find it interesting that they found areas that needed more work in the pre-voc assessment and then turned around, not addressing those areas, and put her in a prepare-to-work setting. I sometimes think they put us in all the assessments, whether we're suited or not, because they get money paid to them just for us being there.

[@gracieanderson2207]

This helped me a lot because I was also at a vocational training program it was not easy but I got through it mine was different because I did majority of it online but anyway I am glad yall are doing better I know it's tough sometimes but you are a role model mom to me Jess and all of the other special needs people in this world

[@latainekey7884]

I mentioned Jess to my son and he said is she the same age as me!! I said well I believe that she is a year or 2 older than you!! He said is she like me special i yes Bubba she is!! He always ask tons of questions about people in general lol I said do you want to start you a KZbin channel and we post videos where you help momma cook or do flowers and lol he said no momma people will make fun of me because I like to do things like that!!! I said well we could report the trolls!! But anyway he shows sign of didn’t things so we just call him special!!

[@mcdougalmichelle]

Jess is fine being in her element at home. Val you and the girls teaching her the same basic skills continuously, will help her tremendously in the long run ( later in life). As I’ve mentioned before my Bessie has a beautiful daughter like Jess but not blind and no shunt. Jess learning the basic kitchen and self care etc skills is really all she needs. Personally I would state to her regularly that she is training for later when she may need to help and Care for you. I live in Louisiana and one job here is separating Madrid Gras bead’s that are donated back after festival. Not for Jess I know Just keep doing what you are doing. You are her Mother and you know what’s best.

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Thank you Michelle!

[@karenbenson4639]

I totally understand...you are doing a wonderful job with Jessica. Big hugs to you.all!🌿💗🌿

[@mrskennethadams2692]

This just helped someone, somewhere. Thank you!

[@bethanntaraba3910]

Tough stuff! Jess is lucky to have you.

[@theresawarchulski5339]

I enjoyed your video chat, no one knows Jess better than her mumma, l'm sorry you had to go through those sad bad times & l love you look forward & let the past stay there... 🌷🌹 You are a good person with a loving heart ❤ l hope you also benefit chatting to us as your extended friends 🌼

[@bscorner903]

Goodwill is ridiculous! They could clearly see what Jess didn't like working with (animals and plants). Yet they still forced her to work in those environments! Jess is a caregiver! They should have honed in on those interests and skills! Her outbursts are totally understandable. I feel bad for her for their lack of communication and corporation in helping her reach her full potential. Forget Goodwill, Jess! We love you and see you for who you are! Keeping being YOU! don't conform to others and what they think you should be/do. ❤

[@tcason19]

You are a great Mom💕

[@Ariesbuddha]

My autistic daughter has been through this exact situation in the UK during her teenage years, it took away the smallest bit of confidence she did have, no one even wanted to accommodate her autism, if anything they seem to enjoy putting her in stressful and fearful situations for her, it left her feeling massively inadequate and it broke my heart too, she too also gets attached to people mostly actors or famous people but any normal people she will cut herself off from, she too hated change and all these things add up to many many reasons why my daughter can't work either, your so right sweetheart people don't want to understand, they prefer to judge. Your entire journey through life mirrors ours so I absolutely relate to your situation as our life is exactly the same but if I'm honest I wouldn't have my daughter or our situation at home any other way, I love our life as it is and by me being her carer and makes life run so much more smoothly and less upsetting for her. I absolutely love you and Jess we really do. Much love to you both sweetheart 🥰🥰🥰xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[@eblackburn1]

At some point was Jessica ever fixated on Marlow, seems like Marlow would be super vulnerable?

[@Shaping_Serenity]

No, Marlow was never a fixation.

[@deeanngorman7740]

I enjoy your show so much

[@patleslie6878]

Great session of learning. You are talented !

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Thank you!

[@winkey3876]

Thank you for sharing.❤️

[@itsmecandi9951]

I was a job coach where we went with mentally and physically disabled individuals to help them with their job. I had the cutest little lady that kind of stuck to me. She wouldn't get 9ff the bus if I wasn't there, she wouldn't get off the bus, sometimes they had to call me to talk to her on the phone. I understand where you are coming from with obsession. It's hard.