Firefighter Died To Save Unimpressive Teen

On Today Now!, Jim and Tracy interview the 15-year-old girl who cannot possibly live up to the firefighter who died saving her

[@sobekmania]

This is the perfect representation of survivor's guilt.

[@yasininn76]

Not really, this is more "I should be doing good because somebody gave their life for me", survivors guilt is "why did I die? He was the hero, he should've lived instead of me". The former is the aftermath of the latter

[@onlypjm]

​@@yasininn76 this is literally the book definition of survivors guilt lol. bfr

[@sobekmania]

@@yasininn76 I think both definitions fall under survivor's guilt, because they both dwell on the concept of believing you've done something wrong by surviving a tragic event when others did not.

[@keithchongyuctss5229]

Is this satire? I can’t tell if they are joking or not

[@sobekmania]

@@keithchongyuctss5229 Yes, this is satire. The Onion is a satirical news broadcast, and some of their content is pretty hilarious.

[@garetjax2768]

"She later took her own life confirming the net loss" - The Onion

[@RomanesEuntDomus.]

That's awful! The firefighter died totally for nothing!

[@baptistearmistice5921]

​@@suckernaut joke

[@matman000000]

But hey, at least no one else will have to die because of Melanie

[@a.t3415]

​@@matman000000 unfortunately Melanie's mother was so wracked with grief she also took her own life. So sad that more people would die because of someone so dull 😔

[@matman000000]

@@a.t3415 Goddammit Melanie, even in death you only cause suffering!

[@meelsky]

It’s now her responsibility to step up and become a father to his children

[@ShitTok]

word bro

[@adolf7744]

And also a loving husband to his wife.

[@rockyBalboa6699]

She should get a sex change and get testosterone shots and man up!!

[@samiwidzicie6274]

And loving banger to his blonde babysitter.

[@haywoodjablowmi1427]

@@AK-tf3fc are you okay dude ?

[@jonas3333]

"If you don't save at least one life at some point, it's a net loss!" This is one of my favorite all-time Onion vids. So funny!

[@OscarDeltaSierra]

Technically, a partial contribution to a single life-saving incident would count. So if you made that 911 call on behalf of a passed-out, non-responsive junkie or wino at the subway station, you’re still in the black.

[@jonas3333]

Yes. we'll let that slide! :)@@OscarDeltaSierra

[@paksta]

​@OscarDeltaSierra Or if you have one additional child over what you planned, we as a nation will call it even... BUT that child must be named Sam (may be boy or girl).

[@nise6699]

It's actually a net neutral

[@jewfweyqhuefw]

​@@nise6699"if you DONT save atleast one other life its a net loss"

[@Lucky-ei6yh]

Even though the girl didn't have as many lines, her facial expressions were brilliant acting.

[@cend2362]

i felt soooo bad for her

[@rayromano6249]

​@cend2362 lmao you're not too bright kid. It's staged and fake

[@telmolicious]

@@cend2362😂

[@OrcaStree]

I edited this comment, so now what?

[@telmolicious]

@@OrcaStree Thats obviously to make it funnier

[@007feck]

i was an embarrasing amount of seconds into this before realising it was as skit...

[@colindavid2078]

me too, I thought those guys were being so sh**ty towards her! lol

[@michasokoowski6651]

As soon as i saw it's onion, i knew...

[@ninja_tony]

How? It literally shows the Onion logo before the skit even begins lol

[@colindavid2078]

@@ninja_tony Never seen the onion logo, as never pay attention to intros!

[@XaneTenshi]

I have absolutely NO idea why everyone keeps talking about onions so…It doesn’t make a difference to me…

[@eternaldarkness3139]

My brother's a Firefighter. No chance he'd have saved her. Because he works for a different department.

[@Oliver-m8i]

ha lol

[@LucianDevine]

And the world would be +1 hero and -1 unimpressive teen, average student, and once a year grandparents caller. Tell your brother that we salute him, and to choose wisely!

[@TavaraTheLaughingLion]

That's a Waterfighter's responsibility anyway.

[@10TARDIS]

Had us in the first half

[@thefourfs9597]

@@LucianDevinethis is a skit news reporter interview.. it’s satire

[@voldlifilm]

I thought at first this said "Unimpressed" teen, and that would be an entirely different skit! "He died to save your life." "Uhh. I suppose."

[@wilxa]

Me 2 lolol

[@coolwhiptaillizard]

Same

[@StarClay666]

Yeah, that's how I thought first too lol

[@BG1435q]

Her: yeah... whatever...

[@Spectatorofthegames]

Yeah, total buzzkill!

[@coolwhiptaillizard]

This is how people talk to me in dreams 💀

[@kotaro77]

Bro you need some support. Dreams are a reflexion of your brain's afterthought on the recent events. Hope you will find someone who understands you

[@FãFelca]

Ikr? People are so mean and rude in my "dreams", like, these same people would never treat me like that in rl

[@Happyradio1234]

same 😂

[@happydiarrea]

@@kotaro77huh

[@iloveputin7274]

lmao exactly

[@lucasgabriel709]

"And here in Factzone, we’re going to be charting Melanie’s every misstep." The Best Part Lol

[@zchris87v80]

No one charted Jim Haggerty's missteps, like throwing his junk mail down the toilet.

[@emrouse02]

I wish they talked to politicians like this

[@denatyeatsnuggets7274]

Difference is poor girl doesn't have the money to financially mess them up 😔

[@steven97321]

trump 2024 sounds pretty reasonable

[@emmyturner7385]

@@steven97321that statement shows alot about what you lack.

[@steven97321]

@@emmyturner7385 like what?

[@steven97321]

@@emmyturner7385 I know u saw that presidential debate, Biden def lost

[@CharlesC520]

I thought it was real at first. I couldn't believe what I was hearing when he asked if she should've died in the fire over the firefighter.

[@MuffinDaMoose]

It’s fake?

[@MuffinDaMoose]

Oh nvm I watched the rest and it obv fake

[@adrenalineactivate]

​@@MuffinDaMooseit's satire from the onion

[@messyanist7798]

​@@MuffinDaMoose this isn't fake. this is real satire.

[@missing840]

I though it was real and people are really that toxic in America

[@jesseswalters]

In a way, this kind of happened to me. I am disabled now and I was forced to retire after I was injured rescuing a co-worker, many years back. He turned out to be a real prick and ghosted me. Makes me feel like I gave up everything for nothing.

[@Harry64278]

Dam if what you say is true, I’m sorry. Have no idea how that might feel

[@jesseswalters]

@@Harry64278 it's actually worse... a good friend of mine ended up with a slipped disc in his back from the same event, so he was nearly crippled too. The guy we saved had minor cuts and bruises

[@JackMarston.1895]

That’s fucked up

[@lolasdm6959]

Well should have saved yourself lmao

[@c.l.8092]

Heck, I am sorry about that :(( I can’t imagine what you might feel, but I don’t think it was for nothing - you showed yourself to be a wonderful and selfless human being.

[@AIBreakingBadGamers]

Even if she saves one life, think of all the lives that firefighter would have saved over the course of his career if he hadn’t saved her

[@ratmations8306]

True! If she doesn't become a firefighter or doctor herself she may aswell be spitting on Sam's memory and sacrifice 😢

[@primaveral-s8s]

oh my god the acting is soooo good... the subtle facial expressions and stuff... just perfect

[@kevinbrandon1856]

Please don’t use the name of God in vain!

[@loo6942]

@@kevinbrandon1856 God :u

[@elephantseal4585]

@@kevinbrandon1856 OH MY GOD!

[@Fiddledeedoo]

@@kevinbrandon1856god damn that’s crazy

[@MrTriple3D]

@@kevinbrandon1856 isn't the name of god yahweh, and "god" is just the position he holds?

[@BOBMAN1980]

Melanie went on to get her degree in journalism, finally getting a job as a web journalist Columbus, Ohio. Had two kids with a coworker. Still is a Net Loss

[@youtubenightcrawler9571]

Brought two new lives into world so a net positive. ggwp

[@BOBMAN1980]

@@youtubenightcrawler9571 If you go by quantity not quality.

[@youtubenightcrawler9571]

@@BOBMAN1980 The more kids she has the more chances one of them will save a firefighter's life or becoming a firefighter

[@Gavo-ej4qv]

​@@youtubenightcrawler9571 But also there's more chances that those two kids would cause the death of another two firefighters in the future.

[@adenm8963]

Journalists are the lowest iq ​@@BOBMAN1980

[@MatthewPointe]

Am I the only one had had the KZbin algorithm take me here 13 years later?

[@MathAdam]

Nope.

[@noahclark7603]

@@MathAdam KZbin: It's time everyone talk about this one.

[@v4vun]

Only 12

[@Brandon-hg7ic]

.

[@priendly]

You got it 2 days sooner than I did

[@googleaccount-zf7yd]

I love the buzzing noise of the light in her silence

[@stevemcqueen399]

This is pretty much how every conversation with my parents goes.

[@DonPetrushka]

It'll make a trauma… :(

[@deathbyathousandcats]

He is valuable but then he isn't the Incredibly Sexy Firefighter so maybe go a bit softer on this unimpressive teen

[@telmesomethinidk]

lmao i was thinking the same thing but didnt wanna say it cuz hes dead. only shitty people do that ehhhheh

[@smeli_]

@@telmesomethinidkthis is a joke video. No one is actually dead from this story lol

[@avengingblowfish9653]

@@smeli_ Everyone knows that explaining a joke kills it though.

[@lolasdm6959]

Oh please, the firefighter was near his 40s, his life has no purpose anymore.

[@MordenTheCoolestJumpluff]

​@@lolasdm6959 You're the type of person to return a pet after they're no longer a baby.

[@willkeinnamen5829]

I thought the title was "Unimpressed Teen" and this was gonna be a scandalous interview of the survivor being like "Meh, he saved my live but meh, wasn't that impressive"

[@GojiraEdits69]

Real.

[@philippeamon7271]

"Touched me while I was unconscious and couldn't consent. I want to sue for sexual assault!"

[@Justanotherpersonontheinternet]

As someone with anxiety, this is exactly what it feels like when I do something wrong.

[@bigbubba0439]

“A firefighter died to save you, what are you going to do in order to live up to him?” “Double it and pass it on”

[@birdybotshotgun]

My uncle was a firefighter who died in 911, and I found this video to be HILARIOUS! Lighten up people, it's just some good old fashion satire. I'm not even sure how you can interpret this as disrespectful towards firefighters, the whole point of this clip is to mock this girl more than anything. I don't think people would find it tasteless if it were someone else who died in the fire instead.

[@judecreates3156]

birdybotshotgun Sorry about your dad

[@gotgunpowder]

literally nobody is complaining about this, stop talking.

[@Jack-zs2yd]

@@gotgunpowder They were, that's why the Onion took down the video from their channel. Stop talking.

[@kyuubinaruto17]

@@Jack-zs2yd Look at the dates. Telling someone to "stop talking" NINE YEARS after they commented makes no sense. They've probably long forgotten about this comment anyway.

[@danitho]

​​@@kyuubinaruto17 What?! The comment he replied to was from 5 months ago. Would have only been 2 when you commented. Talk about taking your own advice.

[@stickerupthe14743]

she later saved a bug thinking that was a life saved

[@theFRIed12th]

A simple kinda girl she is... she'll never be like him tho. THATS A NET LOSS!!

[@ys2765]

But… but…

[@markdavis7397]

But it was a mosquito, who then passed a fatal case of malaria to Sam's widow. So Melanie is still down 2-1 in the series.

[@beautifullyplain22]

I love how the algorithm decided to bless us all with this 12 years later

[@divineatmidnight]

I really appreciate the people that repost the onion so that people dont remember theyve heard of the onion and they can experience it as real news

[@miminotbovered2857]

If I ever die in childbirth, this is how I want people to treat my baby

[@Nikolasz1173]

BASED

[@CarNerd7]

Damn...Hope you don't have a kid

[@AnimeProtag]

I’m sure no kid has been blamed for their parents death

[@humanlydum_b281]

Don’t have kids.

[@redredred8408]

You’re a burden on others go away

[@horsepower523]

Poor Melanie.That was brutal af. She better become a hero to carry on Sam's work.

[@GuiDuckz]

i thought this was real and i was completely shocked

[@Alexis-ey4kp]

Lmao

[@mybachhertzbaud3074]

Opening layers upon layers of truth can make your eyes water.🤔

[@BaggioOmbre]

People will say this is fake, it cleary isnt.

[@mechwarrior13]

Clearly. Some people wear socially blind glasses though

[@annieo9468]

I'm curious what part of that made it clear it was real.

[@michasokoowski6651]

Ah yes, onion. The best source of real information

[@theFRIed12th]

​@@annieo9468 idk what fake news would air Fridays at 10pm on ifc... Your just a conspiracy theorist! The onion will keep me safe from your lies

[@Shivansh-bl2vw]

I can confirm. I was there.

[@jaidynn_leeann37]

it took me way too long to figure out this was satire… 😬

[@sssamjam]

the amount of people who think this is real is kinda ridiculous, but expected.

[@chazguy8723]

i got scared for a second

[@123RADIOactive]

*ridiculous* You mean hilarious, right? lol because that would mean there’s some entertaining comments we can now read and it’s brought to us by the stupid people who thought they’re being cute lol 😅

[@scorpioigor]

In every single Onion video there's someone making this comment, yet if you scroll down the comment section you won't find one single person actually offended by the video and thinking it's real.

[@rapidingh723]

Thats because theres lots of people in the world that are actually like this in the video in real life

[@officialmonarchmusic]

What are you talking about? The Onion is America’s finest and most accurate news source ever?

[@sketchyskies8531]

I’ve never had a major near death experience, but I felt her guilt in my soul

[@YouOnlyIiveTwice]

Christ, this hits too close to home. I could relate to this girl.

[@oneofthe12sionmains70]

Have you considered making something of yourself for once so that his sacrifice wasn't in vain?

[@YouOnlyIiveTwice]

my ADHD won't let me@@oneofthe12sionmains70

[@Allexz]

@@oneofthe12sionmains70 hahahhahaha

[@ziliestarrive]

@@oneofthe12sionmains70yeah I aim to become the man who will give you a new half-sister.

[@abdul-kabiralegbe5660]

Well, your username indicates you've had TWO lifetimes to justify his sacrifice! 😆😆😆👍

[@Everlaughing]

I can't even begin to imagine what is going inside the heads of the people who think this is genuine.

[@musiqueaccount2344]

there's nothing to imagine because there's nothing going on in there

[@doomclasher9287]

Well for starters, they would have to memorize their lines

[@nikcezar2445]

xD

[@ElsyOO366]

Lol 😂. I immediately knew it was acting

[@shartyshorts9311]

I remember when I was 7 I thought this was real

[@DonPetrushka]

And now you're 8 and think it's even more real than before

[@RobinsTaste]

I am always reminded of how incredible the actors are.

[@h4nv]

I was trying to comprehend what I was reading on the title - and then video pretty quickly answered to my questions. Pretty funny :D

[@Harry64278]

Same!

[@DugTheDog]

It’s 2024. She’s now 27, what he hell did she do with her life up to now? How many lives has she saved? Justice for firefighter guy!

[@TheDarknessOfGames]

lol

[@OscarDeltaSierra]

I used to work security at a luxury high-rise complex inhabited by lots of wealthy and busy white-collar workers. We had a lot of incidents that tripped the fire alarms- usually burst sprinkler pipes in the winter, or residents venting the smoke from burning toast into the corridors by opening their apartment doors- and about 80% of residents would refuse to come downstairs during fire alarms because they had conference calls or whatever at work, or just got tired of taking the stairs down. After a few of these incidents, I finally lost it and sent a very pointed e-mail to the whole building, saying essentially (in slightly more polite and diplomatic words), “I do NOT want to see any of our local firefighters die rescuing your stupid, selfish ass from the tenth floor because you thought your conference call was more important than the lives of first responders, so you will ALWAYS take these alarms seriously and act accordingly”.

[@scottieb6442]

Shoulda sent an email to the shitty apartment owners that can’t provide simple ventilation or insulation for what’s supposed to be a luxury high rise. Having lived in apartments where the fire alarms go off 24/7 and for some reason never alerted the fire department I called 911 every single time it went off (it was always some stupid bullshit like bad ventilation). By the 20th call the complex was getting fined left and right and finally fixed their stupid system

[@RuthvenMurgatroyd]

​@@scottieb6442 Hahahahaha 😂 genius. This wouldn't work if everyone did it though. It would probably put too much stress on the system and would prevent real fires from being put out but I don't know I've never heard of anyone else doing that; although I do believe that some places alert firefighters immediately when a drill goes off outside of an alarm, like colleges.

[@itsgood7036]

Sounds like the fire alarms being faulty is the bigger problem here. Of course 80% of the residents will stop taking the alarms seriously if they get falsely set off as frequently as they did. If I lived there, I too would consider my work conference to be more important than evacuating the building because someone burnt their toast.

[@TotalAnalyst2]

I mean when I was in Highschool people pulled the fire alarm all the time thinking if it was somewhat funny the first time it would be funnier or because they smoked in the bathroom the 2nd 4th 22nd 34th etc after that we pretty much gave up going outside just stand around come back and find out nothing happened you're less likely to take it seriously

[@Jotari]

It's been 12 years since this video was released, I can confirm that she went on to become the first female president of Paraguay.

[@DonPetrushka]

She became the first male black vice-president of Siberia

[@aishwarya7519]

This is how people talk to me on a daily basis

[@SUSMAN69420]

“Melanie is an average student, only calls grandparents once a year” LMAO

[@justincase1919]

Lol ! I thought this was serious for a second, which only made it funnier.

[@BennettAustin7]

Actually an important philosophical question raised here

[@stevencooper4422]

Utilitarianism

[@001variation]

Yes, this pseudo-mathematical approach to ethics where positive things can magically cancel out negative things in some kind of moral calculus is absurd.

[@alexf225]

A firefighter didn't save her life so she could live with a guilt for the rest of her life. She wouldn't need to become god knows who or save another life. I know this video is a joke obviously.

[@miloelite]

What sophistry is this? What can be gleaned from this satirical Onion vid?

[@BennettAustin7]

@@miloelite the quantification and valuation of lives and moral actions. Can we assign such measures to these objects?

[@drovanova1542]

This is ultrasatire. I feel pity for those who do not get it. :)))

[@LuckyHamburger]

I've got to the point that I can only find classic onion videos that I haven't already seen via random reuploads by other people.

[@amandabushore7890]

They delete so many, but still have the grabbler video on the official channel

[@Hiaki1000]

Jesus, I thiought it was for real for the first 30 seconds and was like "wtf is wrong with those reporters"

[@Kev1nTheKev1n]

a 20 foot bronze statue in my front yard would be kinda sick ngl

[@Oliver-m8i]

fr

[@pocketsfullofdynamite]

Actual representation of social media these days.

[@ArthurB26]

I thought it said "Unimpressed teen" and was expecting her to be like "Yea he saved me but I suffered severe burns and a cracked rib when he dropped me on the way out. 6 out of 10 stars"

[@Ross_5979]

I agree with logic. If I’m caught in a fire, just let me burn 😂

[@Completelyregular]

dude. that sucks.

[@telefunkenyou47]

She should be in service of the firefighters family for now on.

[@lastedplague]

You are the opposite of a genius

[@wingsoficarus1139]

We all here 12 years later now huh

[@wirza555]

Man why this one not appear on the oniono official channel, this is hilarious 😂 . Make me wonder how many videos don't appear on the official channel. This is also a jab to the current society who care only to the 'children' death not adult, even though the adult might have spouse and 'children' that they relied onto (and might much more harder to replace than the 'children').

[@mcuserton]

Was wondering that too.

[@kyuubinaruto17]

Well, I don't know if it's the actual reason, but according to another comment it got taken down for seeming disrespectful to actual people that lost their lives in the line of duty.

[@iagas9]

@@kyuubinaruto17 That's crazy considering the old videos they left up

[@alexlewis5365]

Lol from the thumbnail I thought this would be a Dr. Phil episode 💀

[@shayneclimbsrocks09]

THAT SCARED ME AND I WAS FREAKED OUT UNTIL I REALIZED IT WAS A FREAKING SKIT

[@MAMP]

Melanie was such a cute actor in this. She nailed the sad vibe :)

[@turolretar]

talking about nailing…

[@jmmjjmmjjmmj]

She’s 27 now supposedly but just know what you’re insinuating; that’s tied down right now to someone who’s 15 in this video.

[@frag0638]

@@jmmjjmmjjmmjage of consent is 14 in Germany

[@jamie594]

​@@frag0638for other 14 year olds, anyone above 18 can't mingle with someone under 18.

[@Arkayjiya]

@@frag0638 No one consented.

[@l1teRBLX]

why did i read this as "firefighter died to save unimpressed teen"

[@myczxr]

it's been nearly 13 years and we haven't heard of any heroic deeds by melanie. safe to say, and i'm sorry to be the one to break it, but it seems it really was a net loss.

[@neoieo5832]

Isn't she the prime minister of Italy?

[@Arkayjiya]

@@neoieo5832 Ouch, then it's a huge net loss.

[@alexandredesouza3692]

The delivery of "You haven't thought about it" is so GOOD! I can't even explain why. It's this mix of professional and judgemental and it's SO FUCKING FUNNY! Edit: It's the Chris Hansen intonation!

[@StephanHG]

On my 50th birthday, my brother called and asked me what I was doing for the society. 🤨

[@MeatPez]

I didn’t realize this was comedy until a minute in😂😂😂 I was like “bro wtf they’ve got NO chill”

[@GGeedoraHH]

the amount of people who think this is real is crazy

[@Two.Face4]

Fr lmao after the first interview question I knew it was a skit

[@eol251]

Based on the title it felt like a skit, people are coping so hard nowdays

[@aeong_bread]

I love how a lot of the comments don't realize it's satire and got mad at this LOL

[@randomdog12]

Your point is taken, but alarms that are frequently tripped without cause will eventually begin to be ignored by people.

[@TotalAnalyst2]

I think you responded to the wrong person

[@ElsyOO366]

The amount of people that must think this is real 😂 But this is too funny. The awkwardness in every silence

[@Bruhbruh-on3ms]

Truly despicable, the firefamily should press charges

[@alexj.5207]

its not real

[@Bruhbruh-on3ms]

@@alexj.5207 nahhh really?? Damn I should’ve known 😲😲😲

[@ItsBrendo]

@@Bruhbruh-on3ms It is real and sadly she passed soon after this. You can google it.

[@patrickbernier5495]

At first i was thinking it was real. Then as it went on im thinking no real talk show would be that savage. Its like it plays off that american dad episode where francine falls into a well.

[@Kannon_Shots]

I know its a skit but it makes me sad. Even though no ones died for me i still feel like a net loss

[@Blockidk-i1n]

🫂

[@TraumaGarden]

My favorite part of any Onion sketch is going to the comments to see all the people dumb enough to think this is real

[@Poultry_Plays]

same

[@themindeclectic9821]

As someone who got to walk from a shooting when someone else didn't, it really is like this. There was absolutely no reason he should've died and I should've lived, so i have to make it worth it

[@bobbyologun1517]

im so sorry my friend

[@universal_wisdom3416]

This showed up in my feed randomly, and I have absolutely zero complaints 💀

[@DavidMyrmidon]

This is so Raw AND Spicy.. just like Momma makes them. Thanks Onion News.

[@daniel-zh9nj6yn6y]

The Onion's old stuff is amazing.

[@mixa7039]

'It's up to you to find out what God wants from you, or else you'd be letting down God himself' wild

[@AcuteP4nda]

This show needs to be brought back

[@TXKRG]

randomly getting this recommended 12 years later is very interesting

[@alphabetagamma4142]

It's been 12 years. I really hope that Melanie has made up for the tragic death of Mr. Kelty.

[@sutibusan8273]

American Dad S8E7 was about exactly this type of guilt thing.

[@powpowouchy5]

Was looking for this comment

[@UnderPressure04]

​@powpowouchy5 Same. She's a real life Baby Franny!

[@kenjikodai]

how have I missed this fuckin gold

[@harrazmasri2805]

the pressure they put on her it's like they are perfect themselves

[@yohhh6715]

It's a comedy skit

[@mrwow1667]

@@yohhh6715trust the onion man, they give out such accurate information

[@Julmaa87]

It’s called acting, maybe you’ve never heard of it.

[@jamstaa69]

I’m so used to seeing USA entertainment, I mean, news programs, took me a little while to realise this was a skit. But then I’ve lived to see many amusing wildly unthinkable skits, become reality. The film Idiocracy, is still currently in progress.

[@christian623]

LMAO 🤣

[@InitialS-d120]

this media is just sad

[@TheDarknessOfGames]

Bot comment

[@Azuratsz]

bro how could a teen save a life 💀

[@Militant_Vegan]

Utilitarians be like

[@UCannotDefeatMyShmeat]

Fr, I’m literally not worth the cost of the equipment that would be damaged during the firefighting attempt. Save the expensive equipment.

[@dutcheastindiacompany6939]

Moral of the story " Never be too generous, just be an average good guy, you will never get the return from the society "

[@viljamtheninja]

You do realize that this is a skit, right?

[@Static_End]

The pressure is real 💀

[@tramographyMCR]

I actually thought this was real up until 0:38

[@jblasutavario9549]

Welcome to The Onion 😂😂😂

[@llliiimmmeee]

This cannot have been 12 years ago what the fuck

[@mefaulenzer4387]

im glad this isnt real holy shit, i almost lost it

[@Emrald79]

Could you imagine if that's how our society operated.

[@baconade1239]

Nothing I hate more than being asked a question, then about to answer it before being interrupted with another question.

[@lemonicoo]

people forgetting about The Onion is so funny

[@joeconcepts5552]

I miss this series.

[@LiberatedNotes]

People just finding onion news is funny to me

[@lastedplague]

facts

[@Hollandicus_bird]

Fr

[@electrogestapo]

This is one of those rare instance where you wish you have a time machine so you can go back in time to get yourself un-saved.

[@Young4eva121]

Y’all know that one American Dad episode where Francine is saved when she falls in the well and feels like she was given a second chance at life and feels unfulfilled because of it? This reminds me of that haha

[@royrogers9056]

Yes the American dad TBS writing staff stole a onion skit for the A plot of Season 8, Episode 7 "National Treasure 4" this isn't the first time American dad/family guy has taken "inspiration" from the onion