Today Now! Interviews The 5-Year-Old Screenwriter Of "Fast Five"

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Jim and Tracy welcome Chris Morgan, the kindergartener who wrote the latest action-packed "Fast And The Furious" sequel.
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More Breaking News: www.theonion.com/video/

[@jaschr2233]

The joke is that you think it is a joke.

[@onlybrad8434]

Your mom is the joke

[@nujjigram]

Only Brad ooooooh burrrnnnnn

[@anonb4632]

It's pretty close to the truth.

[@victortrinh2208]

@@onlybrad8434 Oh Shit calm down

[@WeAreBlank18]

WAIT!

[@EMc71]

I’ve always told people when it comes to the Fast and Furious franchise the books are way better than the movies. I’m almost done with the fifth book; I’ve only got like three more pages to color.

[@gabbyty7144]

lol this is an underrated comment

[@RizandroNapone]

was just about to say what an underrated comment this is

[@Suchen_Wahrheit]

Eric keep it between the lines

[@MD-ve9eh]

Nice 😭😭

[@som3380]

Wow

[@joshdoppelt]

heartwarming to see how much family means to this 5 year old

[@RyuLongRHOG]

underrated 😂😂

[@pcwildcat]

the perfect comment does exist... thank you for your service.

[@Dbfjjxnd]

FaMry

[@Ozcogger]

They literally nailed it. These people went from street racing thief's to international spec ops. Only a Child could have been writing this with their Hot wheels.

[@EmperorsNewWardrobe]

To do so literally would involve nails. I see no nails

[@kurtsudheim825]

I think there was even a reference to that in one of the films

[@kurtsudheim825]

​@@EmperorsNewWardrobe the expression of nailed it, not actuality nailing it, so whilst I agree with your sentiment most times l, he is correct here, just needed the inverted commas, or even all caps

[@drafezard7315]

@@kurtsudheim825 The expression is a metaphor, saying they "literally" nailed it is clarifying that they're not speaking metaphorically. So no, they are not correct in any sense, also using all caps does not equate to the correct use of grammar, ever!

[@OGillan]

More than spec ops, they're basically superheroes now

[@RaghunandanReddyC]

This aged like wine.

[@ZLFT]

Raghunandan Reddy C soon it will be almost indistinguishable

[@LOKITYZ]

And John Cena is Dom's brother, and Han is not reallt dead! And cars can swing from ropes like Tarzan! It' be awesome!

[@ZLFT]

James D ?? ‘Aged like wine’? I’m sorry do we need to be 50 years old to know wine ages and use it in an expression? Lol

[@aniki6575]

@@ZLFT wut

[@zarrg5611]

@@ZLFT I don't drink an I perfectly understand that reference, Wine is put in barrel, wine is left for many years, wine becomes better as time passes.

[@nateyj11]

You've got to hand it to the kid, he knows how to translate his vision onto the big screen.

[@JJtoob]

***** That's more than I can say for the awesome musical ideas I sometimes get, but don't know how to put down on paper or reproduce them in real life lol.

[@Competitive_Antagonist]

He's only 5, but what's the excuse of the adults that go to see these movies?

[@conansmith5164]

He's awesome

[@TerraExodus]

Better than some these days....

[@RobGradyVO]

A true Auteur through and through.

[@PhilMoskowitz]

He was a better writer at four and five years old. Once he reached first grade the fame, money, girls and drugs went to his head.

[@yogeshwarnirmaan1368]

🤣🤣👌

[@AyeGameBae]

Too much cerelac. Smh

[@angrysquirrel187]

Is this the same kid that wound up being a drinking prodigy for Ohio State?😜

[@Where_is_Waldo]

Well, they're not trying to appeal to such a mature audience.

[@kurtsudheim825]

Ya, it's l, he's lost his edge (wait, he must be the next ex wrestler turned actor to feature

[@BirdGang6]

Jim’s “no spoilers” line makes me laugh every single time lol

[@alexf9381]

Same lmao..

[@dejiabdulkareem]

That line was almost cruel

[@kellysereda4961]

Ironically, the films are filled with spoilers.

[@plopdoo339]

Booom pshhh

[@plopdoo339]

​@@kellysereda4961 the first movie spoiled the entire franchise for me

[@Howleye]

Sadly Chris was fired by the studio before fast and furious 7 because he was getting too old

[@jacobgoldenofficial4321]

😂😂

[@HowlingWolf518]

There's a bright side though - he got a new job ghostwriting for Game of Thrones in 2016.

[@jacobgoldenofficial4321]

@@HowlingWolf518 😂😂lol

[@maradorgold5596]

And I always thought they fired him because they found some inappropriate Twitter Posts 3 years ago. LoL.

[@nii_amart]

😂 😂 😂

[@spaghettioverlord3247]

“Sheseesethebulletbutthebulletwentpoofpastherfaceandshedidn’tdiesheonlyhadtotakeabath” he really knows how to make a masterpiece

[@kilgoretrout4350]

All you gave to do is put Angelina Jolie in a bath to sell tickets

[@wandcamilo3989]

No.

[@spaghettioverlord3247]

Salty 5000 it’s funny because there are no spaces in between the words

[@RobGradyVO]

@Derka Derka all the best masterpieces are imo

[@spencergravy7452]

feminist manifesto

[@TheProdigalMeowMeowMeowReturns]

This kid doesn’t have friends. He got family

[@Alley00Cat]

Why is the KZbin algo suggesting this to me today? Where have you been for the past 13 years? This is gold.

[@heavenly2k]

Same

[@shinyagami8843]

Ikr?! 😅

[@imnotgivingmynametoamachine683]

You are in for a treat then because there is a ton of great onion videos to binge! It's sad they stopped making them but they were fantastic

[@Alley00Cat]

@@imnotgivingmynametoamachine683 I’ve been watching a few, it’s really funny. I remember looking at their website a decade ago, hilarious. Never realized they made videos. Where have I been!!!?

[@boardgamebrawl]

The most chilingly accurate part of the video is that there will be 600 sequels.

[@Toochilledtocare-_-]

how are you lucky?

[@OmegaBlackHeart]

And people will continue to pay to see it. We'll see cars in space soon.

[@CWINDOWSsystem32]

Board Game Brawl Only 600? There will be shitty Fast and The Furious movies every year until the human race goes extinct...

[@MaartenvanRossemLezingen]

And they'll be screen-written by a 5 year old.

[@Gabriel-rh1bi]

OmegaBlackHeart There are cars in space

[@okrajoe]

How does the Onion get access to interview Hollywood talent of this caliber?

[@pisse3000]

I'd put the question in reverse. Hollywood should get in touch with the Onion.

[@JoeLibby]

They contacted his parents . . . er, I mean, his representatives.

[@Greendalewitch]

Joe Libby No they kidnappe- eh I mean borrowed him, with a offer of all the candy you can eat in a black car.

[@RainMan221]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@RainMan221]

@@pisse3000 exactly!😂

[@bostria]

The ending of the interview with the child falling asleep is both hilarious and adorable.

[@merxellus1456]

Yea😂❤

[@overvieweffect9034]

this aged EXTREMELY well

[@Thrifty032781]

"She's a girl so she likes to kiss so she doesn't play with the cars but sometimes she does but mostly just the boys!"

[@fabiancalderon6729]

like meryl streep but bad

[@GtsAntoni1]

Wow; insightful comment.

[@DokuNekuon]

@@GtsAntoni1 i mean i honestly couldnt understand what he said at that part so they have my vote

[@majeedmamah7457]

My like made it 3k

[@AConquerorsVendetta]

It's like listening to 45

[@mousermind]

I can't believe how legitimate this feels.

[@StewHeisenberg]

Corby Dorian Why exactly? It isn’t far from the truth that a kid probably directs these Fast movies lmfao

[@MrSlanderer]

Corby Dorian Found the muscle car douche...

[@raven75257]

Excuse me? "kid"?! How dare you! He is very well known screenwriter and you call him just a "kid"?! smh people these days😤

[@karltonhoward8157]

I had to check the comments to make sure it was a joke haha

[@AC-wl7ve]

Corby Dorian it’s not much less legitimate than cnn. They parade a teenage girl as climate expert, a covid exper, and a racism expert.

[@joaolucasfraga9147]

They didn't exploit or mock the kid (the humor was literally about it being precisely what a kid would write), which is both basic decency and rare in some sketches involving children. It was adorable and funny. :)

[@turdle2767]

No shit. That's the joke. They are pretending the director is an actual 5 year old.

[@mikkellarsen3643]

​@turdle2767 yeah, he was talking about how refreshing it is to see a sketch of this style where a kid isn't made fun of. Your comment feels unwarranted, especially with the tone.

[@jeremytitus9519]

@@mikkellarsen3643don’t be too hard on Turdle, he’s a reptile and doesn’t understand the nuances of human communication

[@stellviahohenheim]

​@@mikkellarsen3643It's funny because it subverted your expectation

[@CollinGerberding]

Yep, let the material do the work instead. It lets the adults engage in the child's earestness without distracting from the actual joke.

[@alexparadise91]

This is genuinely funny and adorable at the same time. “Can I take my shoes off now?”

[@XabioArts]

But I thought the onion did fake stuff...

[@Tuckwolf000]

Hello xabio

[@brunther]

@@Tuckwolf000 Hello lucas

[@Tuckwolf000]

@@brunther do I know you?

[@Tuckwolf000]

Oh I get it 🤦🏼‍♂️

[@alexanderphilip1809]

Yeah, we all did. But ofcourse we were wrong.

[@16ltb]

is this the same kid who writes the tranformers movies?

[@wyprman]

Dysfunctional Patterns No, this is his big brother.

[@aproapri13]

Mister Morgen you mean you?

[@bobmar9239]

No, no the Transformer movies are far more nuanced. They were written by a 7 year old.

[@RoskinGreenrake]

No, she's ethnic..

[@roryross3878]

@Toori Baba Tom Cruise

[@MVIVN]

Amazing that this is a video from 12 years ago and not only is the franchise still going, it’s even MORE ridiculous and over-the-top than it was then 😂

[@ilikethiskindatube]

That's what I love about fast and furious screenwriters. I get older and they stay the same age

[@aaronsound]

"The car goes ZOOM and the goes Phruara!" "OH NO SPOILERS NO SPOILERS" man why is this SO GOOOOOD

[@mandreadfg]

I'm crying at this

[@dAvrilthebear]

He completely spoiled the plot for me! I watched the film anyway - not for the story, but for the acting.

[@aaronsound]

@CJ2 ? no one said anything about white people

[@Liverpool5095]

@CJ2 You're not that smart, are you?

[@smoothred9453]

@CJ2 ur lost troll

[@MrHeavy466]

0:45 There’s a cameo by the assistant director.

[@gufestus4106]

Fucking lol

[@stuartlarkinmadtv]

Gold

[@nathanchocomint]

Underrated

[@sorryi6685]

He is director's son

[@trudoll]

🤣 thanks

[@twally87]

nice touch that Chris Morgan is actually the name of Fast Five's screenwriter

[@thegoodthebadtheoffended6548]

He actually comes from a very talented family... his younger brother wrote the Transformers sequels, (but not the first one.) And his baby sister wrote all three Jurassic World movies that followed the original 3 Jurassic Park movies.

[@vitor_kelps1548]

And he's younger cousin wrote the rest of F&F cause this kid was way to older to write F&F movies when he became a 8yo kid...

[@me-myself-i787]

And his other sister wrote every Illumination film except Despicable Me.

[@Peter-oy6nz]

Jurassic park 3 was written by the his uncle who still lives in Nana's basement and always smells funny. Alan!

[@inspectorjavert8443]

The kid's a good actor you gotta admit.

[@MrLethalShots]

Inspector Javert I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about. He’s a writer, not an actor.

[@MrLethalShots]

@@Jay-is5ef Back at you dumbass.

[@namanor]

J Dizzle that r/whoooosh is actually for yourself

[@whyamiwastingmytimeonthis]

@@MrLethalShots ⬆⬇r/MurderedByWords ⬆⬇ username checks out ⬆⬇ r/ihavereddit ⬆⬇ put me in the screenshot Edit: wow this blew up! thanks for the gold kind stranger!

[@MrLethalShots]

@@whyamiwastingmytimeonthis Are you saying this ended up on those subs?

[@mymicks21]

Probably the greatest child actor I've ever seen not gonna lie.

[@mymicks21]

@@smittywerbenjaegermanjense6486 I've seen that one too and really liked it. I like this one because the kid so young and reads the script like a rambling child perfectly

[@dougchampion8084]

Guys, this isn't acting. You don't see a wide shot of their interaction because in reality they're just showing him clips of these movies and then they ask him what he thought or what just happened. They then form the adult dialog around his responses and film those scenes and then the kid in as if he's replying right then and there. Movie magic.

[@roryross3878]

@@dougchampion8084 So super method huh?

[@dougchampion8084]

@Yer Nan They're in the room with the kid, it's just not going down how you think it is. They're feeding him clips and getting him to react and describe what he's seeing. Later they record the tighter two-shot you see of the hosts by themselves where the writers have written "questions" to ask him based off the "answers" he's already given to the reaction. They're talking to him in the scenes you see his hands, but they're not saying what you're hearing. The questions are just overdubbed on those parts to make it look like a real back and forth. It's surprisingly easy to get this to work. In fact this is ALL over modern TV and now movies, you'll see an over the shoulder shot where you don't see the actors lips, they frame the shot like this so they can change the line later if they want to, which they always do. This lets them re-record the dialog. It all cuts together nicely because your mind is wired to believe what it's presented and it fills in the gaps to support this belief. It's a common tactic and it's for sure what's happening here, it's just way more entertaining. This is how you get great "performances" out of little kids, and the reason "kids say the darndest things" was a TV show. All you have to do is get them talking on their own, you'd never get him to deliver lines like this, or be able to write it. That's why the "take a bath line" is so gold, it's something only a kid would say.

[@roryross3878]

@@dougchampion8084 Only a child?!!! I resemble that remark!!!

[@MikeyChalupa47]

One of the greatest Onion videos ever.

[@ChrisMorganComedy]

I was happy to do the interview guys

[@fp5495]

"Yea, she's the girl and she likes to kiss so she doesn't play with the cars, but sometimes she does, but mostly with the boys."

[@shaybae95]

Ctfu did he just call her a harlot 🤣

[@HadassaMoon144]

Most "just" the boys...(play with the cars). Really changes the meaning

[@andrewmuse2756]

isnt that Dominic Torreto's sister?? she sometimes plays with the cars, but most of the time just boys do it. da fuq is this for real. have they gone mad

[@drabnail777]

straight up 4th wall breaking facts

[@Bleh67420]

No words…a poet. They should’ve sent a poet.

[@Theystolemyhandle]

“Then is goes PFFTSWAHHH!” “No spoilers, no spoilers!” XD

[@patstaysuckafreeboss8006]

That got me good 😂

[@TheBigmobe]

Underated joke

[@CU.SpaceCowboy]

the “may i take off my shoes now” made this come across so genuine.

[@welcomestranger]

I can't believe this clip is 12 years old. It feels as relevant as ever.

[@Commanderziff]

It's impressive how his writing has stayed so consistent through all the franchises installments. There's never a change in quality.

[@lachlanbell8390]

Even as he's gotten three times older than he was back then, he's managed to forestall any progression. Really quite remarkable.

[@grandrapids57]

An outstanding left handed compliment.

[@Dominian1]

They replace the kids when they become too coherent. Wouldn't want to alienate the fanbase.

[@edinfific2576]

@@Dominian1 Underrated comment! 😂

[@danitho]

@@Dominian1 🤣🤣🤣

[@jm6691]

I love knowing this kid is now old enough to appreciate how funny this skit is thanks to his performance. Incredible

[@ShawnJonesHellion]

you do realize the show f&f is made for USA "adults" right? so i assume if you aren't gifted an talented at birth you are just american.

[@jm6691]

@@ShawnJonesHellion What?

[@discordlexia2429]

@@ShawnJonesHellion Mate, please, don't try to speak in a language you don't understand. It's just going to be illegible.

[@R-H-B]

@@ShawnJonesHellion this came out ELEVEN YEARS AGO you cantaloupe

[@Resi1ience]

This was made 11 years ago, and if he was 5, that would make him 17. I'm sure it's a very proud memory.

[@danielcervantes5294]

How is this skit 12 years old and still as relevant as ever lmao

[@NathanVarner1]

Good to hear they’re still giving him work!

[@David-wp2iw]

600 sequels wont do them selves

[@LesMiserables999]

I thought the Onion was satire?? I'm very confused

[@mcmoistyboi4662]

@@frimi8593 same

[@crung]

@@mcmoistyboi4662 same

[@atomic5134]

@@crung same

[@nekozombie]

same

[@bigkmoviesandgames]

Same

[@SomeBlackGuy]

Kid knocked it out of the park with 9

[@None-Trick_Pony]

How are there fucking nine of them?

[@zanedavis7378]

@@None-Trick_Pony I don’t know how they are going to top 9. In 8 they take down a submarine, so to top that they launch a fucking Pontiac fiero into space in 9. What is there left to do? Have Vin Diesel colonize Mars with the power of family?

[@fnordisix7254]

🖤

[@Iyadkay]

What a prodigy!

[@owenb8636]

@@zanedavis7378 I bet they storyboarded him going back in time using a car somehow but realised it had already been done

[@seansmith6255]

Can we genuinely talk about how cute the kid is

[@smugbowkid9919]

This is simultaneously hilarious and even kind of wholesome, honestly.

[@christopherambrosio8147]

"Is there a chance we'll see a sequel?" "YES, 600 😂" Checks out

[@dannyU2g]

I know where i'll be every summer lmao

[@kip258]

You laugh now, but they've got the whole franchise planned out. It'll be bigger than the avengers saga, then you won't be laughing! :p

[@user-ze6yk4sd5g]

@@kip258 I'll be crying for it to end.😅

[@ComDenox]

We're only at 9, but it's been accurate for now

[@benthesodaman6582]

I wonder if he meant he's going to produce another 300 sequel.

[@LAdamJ1]

Only 593 more to go.....

[@stevendiaz5242]

LAdamJ1 600!

[@xl000]

591 ???

[@adonyetolofari6482]

pity

[@sapointi]

Wow 593 Ecuadors country code I live there

[@shotgundiplomat2406]

We're at 590 now with Hobbs and Shaw

[@frenchyroastify]

I was in an elevator when this kid pitched me the series. I really regret not listening to him now.

[@ravenrose5712]

Okay, but they're being so nice to this kid and it's adorable.

[@callawolf531]

"She didn't die, she just needed to take a bath!" I felt that. Never in my life did I think I'd find a truer statement of summer movies

[@holdthetruthhostage]

Wow hahaha 🤣

[@twally87]

underrated comment lmao

[@Ditto.007]

Me after college:

[@Hanabanacoconut]

I love how she says “see, I love that” 😂🤣

[@clarke4222]

A real guy named Chris Morgan wrote Fast 5 and Wanted. Imagine getting your career ripped to shreds by the Onion, that would be awesome.

[@timthorson52]

Well, as shitty as his movies are they somehow keep making money.

[@neuvocastezero1838]

He would probably take it OK, it's not like he set out to write the next Citizen Kane, and he's probably living quite comfortably from the proceeds.

[@mariolisa2832]

@@neuvocastezero1838 well said. Plus I now know his name and I wouldn’t have learnt it with out Onion

[@dogkaisher8841]

I mean Fast Five has become a fan favourite and was the last semi-realistic FF movie.

[@lundylow]

Someone included this sketch on his freakin' Wikipedia page.

[@thanh-tungnguyen3837]

As the franchise gets older, its writers get younger and younger.

[@_ayoung]

This kid is in his late teens now. Man, I feel old.

[@mrhappyheadmrhappyhead4966]

surely a 5 year old could have come up with a better script.

[@2lobo777]

he did

[@faithismine128]

Creative differences with the director required extensive re-writing.

[@rageagainstthehygiene2357]

He came up with it while he was three. Film production isn't instant, get with the program!

[@meredithr9824]

What are our schools coming to, right??

[@gogogogogirl]

HAAAAA!!!!

[@flyrehash5124]

I absolutely love that they made this without exploiting the kid's innocence by making lowbrow, explicit jokes. Super well done

[@estheay3611]

I can only imagine how the real Chris Morgan would feel if he were to watch this..

[@rodrigobraz2]

There was a joke in there about the girl "doing the boys"

[@user-sx4yu3nw4j]

@@rodrigobraz2 clearly you weren’t listening

[@rodrigobraz2]

@@user-sx4yu3nw4j huh?

[@mccperin]

@@rodrigobraz2 he actually said "yeah she is a girl and she likes to kiss, and she lets the boys play w/ the cars, but sometimes she does, but mostly just the boys"

[@MasterCraftX8]

The fact that this video is mentioned on the IRL screenwriters Wikipedia page makes this iconic

[@condemnedpotbelly8491]

Wow...he described the movie perfectly That's exactly how I remember it

[@alexmathis4736]

He's over-qualified for that franchise.

[@matthewgasparin7000]

Yeah Fast and Furious 1-4 was written by 3 year olds. He should move to the Transformers where his abilities will be greatly appreciated.

[@ervandrafadhlil403]

@@matthewgasparin7000 nah thats too small for someone his caliber he should be directing the next avenger movie

[@haydenhouser]

💀

[@3baxcb]

Young screenwriters sometimes have to start with franchises. It wasn't like he was being asked to do a video game adaptation.

[@dakotalittle8220]

Sadly Chris was fired by the studio five years later for past racial jokes on twitter

[@Lu4455]

And then he was replaced by a guy who posted a racial joke yesterday.

[@malhar__8932]

Now he writes Sherlock Holmes fanfics with homorotic subtext !

[@techbuilder1147]

What a comment

[@burdenernie6050]

He didn't know what he was saying they were his first words

[@megan92585]

Like count at 666, pausing for conspiracy theorists to weigh in. LoL

[@jimothyjimbo8900]

I remember the days when you’d randomly come across someone who’d believe an onion story and you’d kinda just laugh at them. This however, if I didn’t already know the onion, I would definitely believe and you couldn’t convince me it wasn’t true.

[@vitor_kelps1548]

Yeah, in reality it's the kid who writes the F&F movies, but it's his father who gets the credit for it....

[@OttoStrawanzinger]

It‘s 2023, Fast X is out, and this news clip is more relevant than ever.

[@schwartzhoffsteven]

He should act in the movies, it would add depth.

[@JJtoob]

steven schwartzhoff He was the pizza delivery guy in the first movie, just with a lot of make up to make him look older.

[@megugu2155]

steven schwartzhoff everyone in the onion should be hired as movie actors

[@BurgertubeFounder]

Rumor has it he likes to slip in as a cameo every film.

[@gregorymyers3886]

I love how timeless this is. You can apply this forever to any Fast and Furious movie and it still works perfectly.

[@jeremysolomon7791]

Yep there is another one 😅

[@kurtsudheim825]

Ya, 10 has just come out, se nonsense. Even well after the protagonist about died irl, thought they would end it there but nope..studio likes money

[@Wailwulf]

Everytime F&F posts a film, The Onion should pull out this clip, redub the title and replace clips with clips from the latest installment.

[@vitor_kelps1548]

And yet, they are really trying to reach the 600Th movie... Written by 5y.o. kids... Lol

[@PolishBehemoth]

​@@vitor_kelps1548lol seriously

[@PowerGlove79]

Today he lives alone in his L.A. condo. Sitting in the light of another sunset with a pouch of Capri Sun his only friend now . While he wonders, “When did I lose the magic touch?” .

[@imjustsomeguy72]

I think his early work was really the best. Once he got into his teens, I think he lost sight of just the cars going vroom.

[@colinr0380]

Too much kissing with girls got in the way.

[@SuperPussyFinger]

That kid’s scriptwriting is too sophisticated for the Fast and Furious audience.

[@Sludgelorrd]

yes I agree with "SuperPussyFingers"...

[@anon4305]

@@Sludgelorrd Their username is "SuperPussyFinger" not "SuperPussyFingers" get it right smh.

[@Sludgelorrd]

@@anon4305 omg I'm so sorry

[@perdition79]

I gave a thumbs up for that username, not the comment.

[@tmrevenge]

Not in touch with his demographic XD

[@YowLife]

This child is now a teenager.

[@atticus4112]

Wow you know math

[@Vichedges]

Maybe he’s dead?

[@willwesten3749]

And im officially old

[@willwesten3749]

@@Vichedges its a possibility

[@rutwikpatel6659]

He is the chosen one. He would stop the eternal suffering caused by the infinite sequels of Fast and Furious.

[@wcamericanmade9828]

They say he wrote 9 at the same time as 5. We just weren't ready for it

[@Andy-young420]

Lol that next segment sounded quite interesting 😂😂😂😂😂

[@austincde]

The fact that fast five was 8 years ago makes me weep, this kids in high school now lol

[@roddydykes7053]

Pretty crazy, before you know it this comment will have a “10 years ago” tag beside it

[@volzman2172]

The sad thing is he is too old for the franchise.

[@shnouth5391]

Wouldnt he be going into 8th grade just now?

[@petergray2712]

@Oliva Gina Don't worry, his six year old baby brother Tristan had a co-writing credit in the last movie, and he's ready to take the reins.

[@FirstnameLastname-zc6ym]

this kids 1 year younger than i am

[@sebastianrodriguez8692]

I don't know how this didn't blow up, because this is the sickest burn I've ever seen.

[@RemixedVoice]

The Onion has always been well known fam

[@raftlack4326]

Only if youre in the known.

[@AlexMafija]

@@RemixedVoice not well enough to maintain the production cost it seems

[@YoureNotAlexander]

Probably didn't blow up as a "burn" so to speak because most F&F fans who saw this didn't see any reason to feel insulted.

[@ObscuredByTime]

I know. I actually feel bad for any Fast and Furious fan over the age of 16 who watches this, because it's spot on accurate. How embarrassing.

[@mackielunkey2205]

Yeah, this video will never get old.

[@yoursleepparalysisdemon1828]

god a new one is coming out 12 years later and its still accurate…

[@MegaCityPatrol]

That kid would be 15 now. They fired him when he was 11 and got his 3 year old cousin to write the last two movies

[@everythingbox]

3 seems a little old. Think it was written by a new born that shits himself then takes a nap. Then they slapped some stamps on the full diaper and mailed it into the studio.

[@betun130]

@@everythingbox This is truly an underrated comment.

[@LaGuerre19]

*_I WANT THE CAWS TO DWIVE FAST AND SOMETIMES EXPWODE_* the math checks out, this is the average fast n furious franchise fan

[@Johnny-rx4hs]

This kid is probably wrote the Transformers movies too

[@AdversaryOne]

​@@Johnny-rx4hs You may be on to something. Only someone born five years prior would disregard the source material the way the writer of that film did.

[@Trishkaz]

OwO

[@mccosmicdj5066]

😆 fuckin A....

[@philithegamer8265]

@@Johnny-rx4hs And COD fans too...

[@HappyDude1]

This is the most down to earth screenwriter i have ever seen, i hope he makes more movies

[@ger128]

"She didn't die, but only had to take a bath"

[@Xiams]

Today I read the 9-year old son of the Fast 9 director was the one who dreamed up the magnetic plane scene. Once again the Onion was prophetic!

[@prestonphillips473]

I read that today too. I instantly thought about this video and had to watch it again. SO good. I hope Jim Pig Haggerty is doing okay out there on his farm.

[@Xiams]

@@prestonphillips473 I thought of this video too! Great minds!!

[@babywolf4238]

The Onion's not prophetic, reality just keeps playing itself.

[@lobitome]

To be fair, it obviously doesn't take much imagination to write/produce these movies.

[@theglitchcounter264]

@@lobitome I don’t know, it takes a ridiculous amount of mental gymnastics to use a fundamental understanding of something and use “logic” to butcher it so far beyond logic that even in universe it makes no sense.

[@ethangilchrist3534]

Just noticed the scrolling words on the bottom of these videos "Advertisers rush to exploit newly discovered flaw in human psychology" Pure gold

[@mcdonnellpadraic]

X is his best work to date. I know it’s been 12 years but bring this five year old back on to talk about it.

[@YouthInAsiaSheep]

The way he says hi at the beginning is way too good

[@TheA8lee]

That is a smart kid to play those lines out with anything other than pure, innocent sincerity. They either duped him brilliantly or he is just a excessively smart, young man. At his age I communicated using a sophisticated code of grunts and caveman expressions.

[@prchristle]

I still do lol

[@Storm_x]

5 year olds are getting more clever as generations pass

[@maelstrom2313]

Pretty sure they just asked him to describe the shots they played with a few scripted lines thown in.. Lol. You can only expect so much from a five year old

[@deckie_]

Tbf, the actor's probably a bit older than 5

[@hectichive889]

@Cole444Train, No it was actually completely necessary. He said “...smart, young man.” Two adjectives next to each other need a comma. Your example is nothing the same: “The red, car.” Red is an adjective and car is a noun. So no comma needed there. They’re two completely different situations

[@internetklutterz5307]

Chris no longer writes for the franchise. He quit in middle school realizing he was too old to write stories about cars.

[@alphaduck2926]

Now he’s the CEO of a boring company and Tesla as well as SpaceX. Elon Musk sure is great.

[@Ben-rz9cf]

I hear his son is writing them now

[@vitor_kelps1548]

Gladly they found another 5yo kid to write the movies and keep the quality...

[@FuckYoutube234]

​@@alphaduck2926 swing and a miss

[@KoopaMedia64]

Fun fact: Chris Morgan also wrote The Last Jedi and The Rise of Skywalker for Disney, absolutely incredible.

[@solomonwells9290]

Fun fact, his little brother Michael directed Transformers

[@Tesla_Death_Ray]

i prefer his early work

[@precogtyrant]

His early work was a little too new wave for my taste.

[@hamzasaid3368]

@@precogtyrant but when fast 2 came out in 09, I think he really grew into his own

[@ai8817]

yeah, i feel like his work has dropped in quality after he came out of the womb

[@Tesla_Death_Ray]

@@hamzasaid3368 both commercially and artistically

[@euphoricatheist6694]

Fake. No way the screenwriter is older than 4.

[@sudocatsda1guy390]

Fast And Furios wasn't the low grade amateur shitshow it became after the 7th film

[@heqrusteoffde739]

@@sudocatsda1guy390 it always was

[@JustAdude291]

this aged like fine wine XD

[@beatyoudown234]

Almost there guys!! Only 590 left to go!!!

[@Knight69.]

"California wildfire engulfs previous wildfire in flames" THIS IS TOO GOOD I CANT

[@alexander-mauricemillamlae4567]

Outrageous what wildfires do to other wildfires, somebody should do something about that. Maybe drain more areas of groundwater so wildfires have more space to roam on their own. Oh and we should feed them too with oil, hay and some such. A content wildfire is a strong wildfire.

[@elmSTREETnasty]

Just when you thought The Onion was satire, they slip in some truth.

[@over8124]

Satire is truth

[@infinitefretboard]

That’s kind of the point of satire.

[@AustinNGrayson]

And here we are in 2023 with Fast X. 10 films… jesus christ. And Fast X is part one of two films.

[@dakrawnik4208]

"Whoa whoa! No spoilers."

[@coldnhot369]

This kid is a true genius. I enjoyed his latest movie, "Fate of the Furious". Can't wait to see the next bazillion movies. Keep up the work kiddo.

[@nomadben]

1:32 "California wildfire engulfs previous wildfire in flames"

[@AlexaBellaMuerte]

Pfffttt hahaha

[@landi2244]

On videos like these you're supposed to ignore the acting from all parties involved, but, these are amazing performances. Bravo

[@BladeDoomer86]

How this is still relevant in 2023 blows my mind.

[@nii_amart]

"...is there a chance we're gonna see more Fast & Furious sequels?" "Yeah" "How many" "600" Lmao 😂

[@lowtherlars]

This was prescient

[@akashmann2971]

He wasn't lying bro. I think that's gonna happen.

[@cool_scorpio2588]

More or less.

[@nii_amart]

@@adamlevine6700 yep. more like saw the clip and quoted it as my funniest part of the clip.

[@rasheeqahmed1208]

As Onion's prophetic words and visions coming into fruition, this would probably turn out to be true too.

[@yoadrie]

It's all about the demographics -- in this case, five-year-old male adults.

[@euphoricatheist6694]

The face of white supremacy. Look at him, exercising his white privilege...

[@AddBowIfGirl]

Brie Larson Haters: Movies should only have white males in them and the occasional girl for fucking.

[@ToBeSchooled]

@@AddBowIfGirl what other movies are there?

[@AddBowIfGirl]

Gaiden Shinji I know it sounds good to most white males. That’s why I said it. Your kind tend to be extremely selfish and self-centered and unable to see humanity and relatability in those who are a different sex or color from you. You’re a very flawed and broken group.

[@AddBowIfGirl]

BanthemOnCraftcadia Bad ones apparently.

[@kikijewell2967]

Now for the lead designer behind Cybertruck.

[@shampoofully7923]

The world needs this to come back