Florida History Teacher Job Interview

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#florida #skit #sketch #sketchcomedy #politicalcomedy

[@caravaggio2012]

FL teacher here who just resigned. The new standards were the final straw. This sketch isn't far from the truth.

[@joedavenport5293]

And I just saw that Florida has a major teacher shortage

[@edwardrhoads7283]

@@joedavenport5293 Not surprising. Would you want to do a job where you are required to do it badly?

[@Dbb27]

I’m so sorry you resigned. I hope things work out well for you; thank you for taking a stand. It’s intolerable. I’m surprised we haven’t lost all our teachers. Such a mess.

[@cindyfitz3988]

Good for you for taking a stand! Honest question....why aren't the teachers banning together and doing a sit in or refusing to show up until the standards are changed to correctly reflect history? As a former teacher, I think I would out right refuse to teach these standards and if I got fired for doing so....then, so be it. Florida can't fire every teacher!

[@jaycaviness1216]

​@@cindyfitz3988 Wanna bet? Oklahoma is giving out emergency certifications to just about anyone, because they think anyone can teach with zero training. They are losing qualified teachers hand over fist over pay and stupid standards not far from this. Florida will just cram more kids into a classroom and claim that it is the teachers union's fault.

[@DrHotWarLove]

The “Benefits of the Holocaust” bit sounds like a joke, but I’m actually convinced “Moms For Liberty” is actually gonna push that into World History curriculum.

[@eternalskeptic]

If Trump gets elected again it won't be a history lesson, it will be the new American reality.

[@jazznpercy]

Holocaust? What Holocaust? /s

[@BrianSweeney1985]

I knew we were screwed when I started thinking headlines were from The Onion when they were...not.

[@jasoncaldwell5627]

That "Mom's For Liberty" group is just a shell for the DeSantis campaign. Their money comes from his super-PAC. It's a sock puppet so he can ban books and teach racism without taking heat directly.

[@TragoudistrosMPH]

If they allow it to be taught... Maus was banned. I read that book in middle school. It was a good book.

[@Commie-Comrade]

"Don't be to sorry, it's the reason we had an opening." That's dark, bloody hell. Love it, great skit.

[@Xpndable]

Brilliant writing and delivery

[@tayters8763]

That line literally broke me. Had to pause to laugh sort of shit.

[@MusikCassette]

I think "depends on how you look at it" goes even further

[@breadfan7t]

You actually made me laugh out loud. Bravo.

[@MinionNumber3]

Depends on how you look at it.

[@ReaverLordTonus]

The only unrealistic part was that someone from Pennsylvania would move to Florida willingly.

[@virginiaoflaherty2983]

I retired from teaching. I worked in a poverty area 90% white. Students would frequently say they were moving to Florida.

[@bwenluck9812]

But no adult from PA would willingly move to FL....

[@robertpendzick9250]

Had two teachers who lived in PA, taught in Ohio, moved to Florida, moved back 6 months later saying the Ohio school was advanced (that was considered a 'failing school') that Florida school was much worse.

[@glen1555]

Why do you say that? I was working in Pennsylvania when a chance to work in Florida came up, had the preliminary telephone interview, and was offered a face to face in Florida, but didn't go.

[@densetsu4286]

@@glen1555 Cause you have to be fucking stupid or way out of touch to take move to Florida under the current regime. And that statement is pretty accurate for at least 50% of the states population. Yes sadly PA is housed to a lot of dumb trump supporters and they would be the only ones willing to move there. Im from PA. I have zero desire to even visit there for a family vacation. Given all the environmental roll backs and wanting to use toxic materials for the roads, rolling back education that far back, poor workers rights, extremely poor women rights, extremely poor lgbtq rights, voter suppression, their government body being extremely corrupt, the fact that nearly anyone can easily have a concealed gun with how relaxed their gun laws are currently. continued violations of the 1st amendment, 9th amendment, trying to bar interstate travel if your wife is pregnant, is perfectly fine with child abuse, child sexual abuse. I mean the list goes on and on for why you do not want to visit let alone live in such a hostile state.

[@Zahaqiel]

Teaching the "benefits" of slavery is a bit like teaching that school shootings benefit school children by training them in increased awareness of tactical positioning and how to wear body armour.

[@sarahlongstaff5101]

That’ll be next on the agenda.

[@danielleS257]

It’s physical fitness. 🙄. They are CRAZY!!!

[@edward0383]

Please don't give Republicans anymore ideas. You will see that as campaign slogans and their base will agree.

[@JamRPink]

​@@edward0383I wish that was a joke but at this point you are right. They will take it serious.

[@KyleSmith-qt9sg]

@@edward0383 Kind of insane that there isn't a bottom for them...

[@mikedrop4421]

As a Florida native this makes me physically ill. This state is a stain.

[@peggedyourdad9560]

A phallus stain lol.

[@triarb5790]

​@@peggedyourdad9560It's a a very droopy phallus.

[@mikedrop4421]

@@peggedyourdad9560 Florida used to be the beautiful vacation and retirement destination for Americans everywhere. Now it's the state that natives dream of leaving. It has become the pit stain on America's clean white t-shirt. Florida doesn't have to worry about staining it's own shirt because "tank tops/wife beaters" don't have sleeves and that's the unofficial state uniform. We've left all our class in middle school and all our taste is in our mouthes. It's sad really. I've lived here for 40 years and I feel like I've spent that whole time watching the world's slowest train wreck.

[@Dbb27]

@@mikedrop4421 fifty years here. Hoping to leave soon.

[@firstnamelastname9918]

"Nature has a funny way of breaking what does not bend"

[@futurestoryteller]

Imagine if every time a woman was abused by a partner or a stranger she was required by law to name some of the benefits of being assaulted.

[@brianschwartz7937]

Don't give Republican lawmakers in Florida any more ideas.

[@deon700]

Isn't that part of the abortion bans? 'OH you were raped, well think of this pregnancy as a blessing in disguise'.

[@WoefulMinion]

That's practically the case now. Women already have to explain in court why they didn't deserve the assault.

[@julietardos5044]

Well, if the rapist impregnated her, then she'd get a cute little baby out of it. It could be quite healing. /s

[@virginiaoflaherty2983]

I am easier to fuc now cause I don't resist unwanted advances of my masters.

[@ProgressiveRoxx]

It blows my mind that Germany has done a far better job of coming to terms with the sins of the past than the US. German kids spend years learning about the Holocaust and are probably the most educated on the subject of any nationality in the world. And they are (not concedentally IMO) among the most progressive and tolerant nationality. But neither are they filled with guilt or shame, recognising that the horrors of the Holocaust were committed by people now dead (hopefully). This change didn't happen overnight, the generation whose siblings and parents were part of the Holocaust tried to ignore and downplay the culpability of their relatives, but the genration after that in the 60's marched and protested until they won the right to be educated on the truth. It seems to me that America has been stuck in the "ignore and downplay" phase since MLK.

[@renerpho]

Greetings from Germany. You give us way too much credit.

[@michaels.9871]

Yes, way too much. Would be cool if this were true though!

[@LuciferBalor]

"...since MLK" I think you mean "since the end of the Civil War."

[@p__b__3749]

@@renerpho It is unfortunate but true that Germany is not alone in the new rise of fascist populism in Europe. I wonder if this species will ever clue into the inevitability of such social failings as long as we allow the wealthy few to exploit everyone else without REGULATION (that word that Rethuglicans hate so much, but is the essential ingredient to fixing the human experiment).

[@Thurasiz]

There are plenty of those people who'd love to forbid the teaching about that part of history here in germany. So far, luckily, they haven't managed to get into a position enabling them to do so, but right now that possibility is higher than it was for a very long time.

[@BernadeenJenkins]

My great grandmother was a slave. She live to be extremely old and was actually interviewed in Mississippi as the oldest living person. She told my dad - “I don’t want to remember or talk about those days.” She said they were so terrible that she refused to talk about it. She never ever did. My dad never learn anything about that history.

[@BernadeenJenkins]

By the way, on his dad’s side, he said their family fled at gunpoint. An overseer turned them in to the Master. He caught them running away. He decided to let them go because he “took a liking” to one of the women in the family. He decided not to kill them (legally by the way). My mom’s dad’s family were Chinese slaves in Mississippi (which was common). He mom’s family lucked out - they were the products of r*pe. The were help white and Black.

[@BernadeenJenkins]

I gave you a like. Get the conversation started.

[@LoveProWrestling]

I got a copy of 'Slavery by another name' on an Alcatraz tour. Really stunning the depth and breadth of Americas addiction to slavery, and it's willingness to forgive itself for everything that happened. There is an adaptation on youtube here kzbin.info/www/bejne/i5SmqaaCedKUaNE

[@loka7783]

Respecting the probability that those events were too traumatic for her to retell, your great grandmother was wrong. That cr@p NEEDS to be told so later generations keep in mind how bad it was and why we should never revisit those days.

[@dfs-comedy]

Holy crap, that's awful. Your family really deserves compensation (but I'm sure it won't happen, sadly.)

[@tofu_golem]

"Is slavery a bad thing?" is one of the easiest possible moral questions, and yet the Christian majority in Florida struggles with it.

[@GeeVanderplas]

Well, the bible is full of slavery condoned by the lord himself, so... yeah...

[@WoefulMinion]

Unfortunately it doesn't sound as though they struggle with the question of slavery at all....

[@jackielinde7568]

To be fair, I think most of us are struggling with the moral and ethical implications of Slavery in the US. But I don't think the Right Wingers of Florida are part of that group. It's amazing how quickly those struggles evaporate when you're no longer concerned with basic human decency.

[@wanderlustwarrior]

"conservative", not "Christian"

[@kimwit1307]

@@wanderlustwarrior In the US the two are pretty much interchangeable

[@alkkans2394]

As a Florida Social Studies Teacher, This makes me laugh and cry at the same time..

[@Dbb27]

We’re lucky you haven’t all quit.

[@sarahlongstaff5101]

Good for you for trying to stick it out. Good luck!

[@electricminecrafter]

not just ss, if you teach art or gym class and a rainbow shows up somewhere your getting fired

[@wanderlustwarrior]

The correct answer to which amendment completely abolished slavery is "none." The penal system is state sponsored slavery for profit.

[@Spiritof_76]

Good point. The amendment needs another amendment.

[@karmad4491]

It abolished chattel slavery?

[@michaelreid8857]

There is so much modern slavery!

[@pigcatapult]

@@karmad4491 prison slavery is still slavery tho, and the principal didn’t specify

[@WaitTryFail]

florida follow up question "benefits of school shooting"

[@Finians_Mancave]

Yikes -- and yes, I wouldn't be surprised.

[@gcooper146]

More profits for gun manufacturers and funeral homes and more donations to the NRA. Then politicians take bold stances like offering thoughts and prayers

[@andrewklang809]

Well, they distract from tax reform, police brutality, corruption scandals, and sexual assault allegations against our political leaders. And with convenient regularity too. It's a problem that's more important than anything, and yet always too early to address. So long as we're willing to let our kids get regularly massacred with military-grade ordinance, we never have to change anything.

[@RK-252]

"Teaches valuable life skills." Oh wait.

[@TriniLush7]

Not gonna happen. Too many white numbers taken out...

[@robertdascoli949]

" is slavery the only way they could have learned those skills?" I'm going to use that exact quote the next time I hear someone preaching this nonsense.

[@ASolzhenitsyn]

Ask them why they think none of those skills would have been known, or practiced, in Africa

[@CrescentUmbreon]

slaves wove seeds into their hair because they knew the importance of their food source

[@ushere5791]

@@ASolzhenitsyn exactly! the enslaved brought mad skills with them. they taught their enslavers!!

[@korenn9381]

Also point out that the slavers never intended to release the slaves so they weren't teaching them skills to use while free... And it glosses over the generations before abolishment who lived and died as slaves.

[@AccordingToWillow]

conversations like these are a lost cause, they’re just trying to waste your time anyway

[@Vlahopoulos]

We had the same thing in France in 2005. The government asked history teachers to teach about the "benefits of colonialism". Teachers openly refused to teach the question and it was quickly dropped by the government, embarrassed by the backlash and the fact that nobody taught it

[@CrabCrow]

Yeah, I wish our overlords were capable of embracement. They just force their ideas in no matter what.

[@angelikaskoroszyn8495]

I think this framing of "benefits" is insidious. Good things happened as a result of colonialism but it was all in order to further influence and wealth of colonial powers. The British didn't build rail network in India because they wanted to help locals. They did it to extract wealth more efficiently

[@SkySong6161]

Unfortunately, I think class traitors are a lot more common in the US than they are in France.

[@virginiaoflaherty2983]

In America most people are afraid to go against authority. How brave. Afraid to lose their jobs so they put up with all sorts.

[@kylezo]

@@EndPoliticalCorruption not exactly true, a huge amount of americans are racist xenophobic capitalist monsters so there are a LOT of people in the mainstream american culture that are far-right if not openly neonazi, even the democrats are right of center in american political discourse. the supreme court reflects the will of a lot of the people since they've been brainwashed and undermined systematically by the upper class for about a half a century since the cold war really ramped up the capitalist imperialism propaganda and made communism and socialism bad words.

[@bobcarn]

The only thing sadder than the fact that this skit is right on the nose and Florida actually has to teach that trash to children is the number of people defending it.

[@virginiaoflaherty2983]

The ranks of Florida Man are deep.

[@beverleightwohig-howell2335]

I’m English, living in England. Does Florida really have this on the curriculum? I thought the whole thing must be a skit making fun of some of the ultra right wing political view points over there. Surely this can’t be a skit based on reality? Heaven help Floridian children and their academic and moral journey.

[@junkyatv]

@@beverleightwohig-howell2335 It's real. Florida is also advocating the use of conservative propaganda as teaching material, like PragerU. Absolutely horrifying stuff.

[@KyleSmith-qt9sg]

@@beverleightwohig-howell2335 Yes, it is actually happening. Along with a lot of other whitewashings of history.

[@shadowninja6689]

@@beverleightwohig-howell2335 Yes this is sadly real, racists nutjobs really put that in the curriculum. I have no clue who in their right mind would ever want to be a history teacher in this state beyond KKK sympathizers.

[@andylalor225]

Two lines stood out for me: 1. "Mrs. Barglegalls" -- actual laughter resulted! 2. "That's like saying Auschwitz was a weight loss camp!" -- daaaaaaaaamn. Despicable topic, hilarious satire! Please keep making these shorts!

[@michaels.9871]

"Can't count that, benefits of the Holocaust are part of our World History programme"

[@LonceyMills]

That second one!!! And, I didn’t even understand what he said for the name until you wrote it out 😅

[@jaypennebaker9979]

It's not satire. This is a real Florida Standard.

[@sjenkins91812]

It's all so hilariously terrifying, I'm laughing so hard that I'm crying out of fear. 🤣😂🥹😭

[@kaitlyn__L]

I wonder how many people accidentally call her Mrs Gargleballs

[@stepheng1523]

Skills such as evading bloodhounds, constellation recognition, pretending you can't read, etc.

[@kathyastrom1315]

“Why, they learned the technique of keeping stone-faced as those who viewed themselves as their superiors in every way denigrated, humiliated, and dehumanized them every moment of the day. Invaluable life lessons passed down for generations!!”

[@bjornnilsson1827]

​@@kathyastrom1315 From the depiction one gets in the news and the media and from American colleges, it seems unfortunately some of those skills don't seem entirely unapplicable also in modern day America.

[@Dbb27]

Acting skills! Very handy in life.

[@lisam5744]

As someone living under the DeSantis 'drag Florida back in time' campaign, I am so glad that my children are grown now. And I hope that the lawsuits against this racist garbage make them toss it into the trash heap where it belongs.

[@AbMaSync]

Sadly, he'll probably keep it up until he loses the primary (hopefully)

[@ilect1690]

Watchout the d word can get you dragged into a priso- Give me a minute the cops are at my doorstep

[@adb012]

Don't blame DeSantis. Blame your neighbors (and maybe yourself?) for either voting for him or not voting against him. DeSantis didn't just show up from nowhere and decided to take the Florida governor position. He was elected by the majority of the Florida voters. AND THEN WON THE RE-ELECTION IN A LANDSLIDE! If anything, that speaks more about the quality of the people of Florida than of the quality if DeSantis. Same as if Trump wins the next presidential election. Don't blame Trump for his unethical acts that he was voted to do.

[@state924]

The lawsuits?

[@stag.3526]

AS A HIGH SCHOOL SOCIAL STUDIES TEACHER, THANK YOU FOR THIS.

[@BS-vx8dg]

"Don't be too sorry; it's why we had an opening". 😂

[@mikeymegamega7954]

"Don't be too sorry it's the reason we had an opening."

[@Dbb27]

Chilling.

[@MrDanraven]

Saying that "Some slaves benefited from slavery by learning skills they could use in later life" is like saying "Survivors of Genocide benefitted from that genocide by saving money on Christmas gifts they no longer had to buy for now dead relatives and friends." Or "Some victims of Pedophilia used that trauma to build very successful careers in the Adult Video industry."

[@jpotter2086]

The "learning job skills for use after slavery" line was good. Missed an obvious response, though: "Slavers expected slavery to end?"

[@MissKashira]

Someone on Fox News did make the argument that Jews benefitted from the Holocaust because they had to be useful to survive. Don't you hate when you try to make up something ridiculous to show how ridiculous something else is, but no, they said that too, with their whole chest.

[@wanderlustwarrior]

That pedophilia part though...

[@MultiTomcat67]

😣 Ouch. 💡That last sentence is what the "anti-groomer" right-wing-nutters were NOT-SAYING.

[@kimwit1307]

@@jpotter2086 Quite. Whole generations odf slaves lived, worked and died without ever being freed.

[@fredrika27]

Steve, the Holocaust joke was actually said to me by a Neonazi who lived in Nebraska. Leonard Nimoy had to come to my university to put matters right. At that time Lindsay Wagner also did a film about a white supremist who was teaching in Canada who said the Native Americans deserved their confinement and the Holocaust never happened. I kid you not! This video is spot on!

[@Ryanookami]

Ouch. Often times non-Canadians tend to see our country as a bastion of good, separate from, and above, the mistakes of our southern neighbours, but yes, even we definitely have our terrible teachers in the system, teaching kids terrible white supremacist rhetoric, it’s just that our racism tends to take on a more First Nations flair. (Or misogyny amongst other BS if you’re a follower of Jordan Peterson). It’s only really since the undeniable truths were exposed with all the unmarked graves tied to our residential school system that it’s finally coming out and letting the world see that we’re just as guilty of humanitarian crimes against a displaced people as Americans are. I’d be really interested in knowing the name of this documentary if you can recall it however?

[@cgallegos2106]

Don’t you just love when the people who defend or demand the extermination of peoples deny the Holocaust ever happened? Like, they despise minorities and love these genocidal governments that actively talked about genocide, and yet these people who demand it deny it every happening. Or weirdly deny the numbers killed. 20 million people across Europe just “disappear” and they don’t even take credit for it.

[@pechaa]

I can relate. I grew up in Nebraska in the 1980’s and early ‘90’s. I have been thinking lately about how little history education I had. It’s possible I fell through the cracks because I changed schools once and also went to Catholic school for some time, but I don’t think that was the main problem. I think most Nebraska students at the time got little education in history of any kind. They’ve been doing a low-key version of this video for decades in MAGA country. Florida made it official, but many states have been doing this unofficially for a lifetime or longer.

[@fredrika27]

@pechaa I, along with many other minorities, got a full-ride to the University of Nebraska. No one stayed because of this mentality. I was once up for a PR position at the Capital. The person selected for the job was a former football player with only a BA. I had two masters and was working on my PhD. With 60% of the population, Lincoln and Omaha are the two most progressive cities. Yet, with the exception of Asian students, as a professional of color, try to enroll your child in any of the private schools, and you'll get rejected or there are steong objections. I love the low cost of living. However, the dogma of being dedicated to the football team grows old when students play their futures away, dreaming of going pro. The state has seen an influx of Hispanics over the last two decades with the result they are tightly controlled despite being needed for the agricultural industry. The Elders and politicians don't seem to care that over the last 40 years young professionals have voted with their feet to the detriment of the state. Finally, Nebraska harbored several well known Nazis who were eventually extradited to the Hague for violations of international hate laws and spreading Neozism. Both perpetrators spent several years in prison for corrupting the youth!

[@EsmereldaPea]

I had an uncle tell me the Holocaust didn't happen. Small town depressed America.

[@tsukikage]

Me as a teacher in this situation: I am required to teach you the material in the next ten minutes to meet official state standards. Get out a separate sheet of paper, write "official but inaccurate on it", and I will tell you when this abominable part of the curriculum is over and you cna go back to your regular notes. Unfortunately we will have to repeat this process many times this year, so you may actually just want to create a small section at the end of your notebook for these lies I'm required to teach you.

[@jy3n2]

I'm reminded of a response to a few anti-abortion laws: "I am legally required to recite the following statement. I am ethically required to tell you that it is a lie."

[@ComradePhoenix]

In addition, I'd say the following: I am required by the state of florida to avoid teaching about certain topics. However, if you would like enough extra credit to be able to skip homework for the rest of the year, you may voluntarily present a book report in front of the class regarding a banned topic or perspective, using a book that has been banned for school use.

[@v.sandrone4268]

A very similar situation happened in my Catholic high school, in Australia, ( for Americans: think kangaroos not Alps..that is Austria). We had a science class where the normal teacher said we were going to have a special, non mandatory lesson by another science teacher (who wasn't a biologist) on why evolution was wrong and creationism was right. He stated that it was wrong, not a necessary Catholic belief, not part of the syllabus and was to placate the rabid teacher who threatened to leave if he didn't get this chance and that it was hard to get science teachers. After the "lesson" normal science classes focused directly on why the creationism arguments made were wrong, why it should be taught in religion rather than science classes and how scientific method and evidence worked. I learnt more about the scientific method by applying it directly than the usual dry lessons.

[@markwilliams2620]

​@@v.sandrone4268 We're not all dummies. First question I ask when eye eer 'Stralian..."Kiwi or Strail?". Educated in Michigan, lives in Florida.

[@namechoice]

​@@v.sandrone4268as an American it's far more common for us to think Austria is Australia than the other way around.

[@sprockkets]

"Child rape is bad, but let's not forget that those children learned valuable techniques they can use later in life."

[@klisterklister2367]

That's dark man

[@JayBandersnatch]

Yes, and according to Deuteronomy 22:28-29 the solution to child rape is for the rapist to pay off the rape victims father and force the victim to marry the rapist.

[@kaitlyn__L]

This reminded me. I’m a CSA survivor and one time when I was in a bad flashbacks episode, a long way past it but still much younger than I am now, I found myself thinking “at least I wasn’t awkward and fumbly as a teen, I knew exactly what I was doing” to try and soothe myself. Lolsob. It’s especially sad with hindsight because an awkward (consensual) first time is a really important rite of passage… and I’ll never know what it’s like. Of course in the analogy of the video it would be the (…son of?) the rapist saying it rather than the victim. Which is 1000x more fucked up, especially since it’s presumably to try and absolve moral responsibility or guilt. So I’m not really trying to compare the two, of course. But it reminded me.

[@jayleeper1512]

Sick and wrong but definitely applies here. It is like saying violent crime is a good thing because the victim learns so much from it. Sick and wrong.

[@curtisthomas2670]

Sounds like something Donald would say to Jeffrey

[@jrsydvl7218]

That last line was a gut punch.

[@jonathanbartlett1098]

I like my comedy like I like my coffee: a dark, bitter American roast This was well done

[@PocketBrain]

It only hurts when I laugh.

[@jy3n2]

I can only laugh at this because otherwise it hurts.

[@TheRealZarp]

I recently discovered the will of the man who owned one of my great grandfathers. All sorts of emotions ran through me as I re-read his name over and over again in that man's will. Slavery was not beneficial to the slaves.

[@SupahTrunks7]

Damn I can’t even comprehend the weight of seeing something like that. People that try to pretend slavery benefitted anyone but the slave masters are delusional and repugnant.

[@ceterisparibus8966]

​@@SupahTrunks7What are you going to do about them?

[@porsche911sbs]

They want people to think that inherently exploitative economic systems can benefit the exploited classes. Whether the chattel slavery of the past or the modern day wage slavery.

[@johnsmithe4656]

@@ceterisparibus8966 My chosen action is to humiliate the slavery defenders whenever I come across them. They're traitors and they're evil, and they're also incredibly stupid. Homegrown American Fascists. You won't believe how often I have to call people out. Stupidity abounds. Doesn't help that they're all indoctrinated with BS propaganda like Prager U. Lies for a political agenda, that's all they have to fall back on.

[@Dbb27]

You should publish it. People need to see it.

[@deanb4799]

I still can't wrap my head around this, as MOST of us can't. This is literally what school interviews are going to be like in Florida now. Holy Shit.

[@NoSpam1891]

Never mind. They can hire unqualified ex-military guys to teach everything.

[@SkySong6161]

"Will you teach history?" "No, I'll be teaching propaganda." "You're hired!"

[@robertrawley1115]

The next change will require teachers to explain how *slavery provided Room and Board* for the enslaved. hahaha Oh wait, in the UK when computing compensation for the *wrongfully convicted,* a deduction is made for the food and housing they received during their confinement in a British prison. *Doesn't that make as much sense as a slave learning skills?*

[@MarkovianMan]

The South considers slavery a "guaranteed jobs program."

[@dawudhinton5754]

Why are there deductions? When they put them there?!

[@MsLoperK]

@@richardvinsen2385I struggle to understand sarcasm in text, so my perhaps unwarranted serious response here is employment implies you get paid for the work you have done.

[@bra-balllegend3940]

@@MsLoperK More of an eternal, unpaid internship, really. Wait, did I say internship? I meant internment. Until interment!

[@SiriusMined]

I laughed, but mostly because I didn't want to cry. On target as always, my friend.

[@Dysiode]

We laugh because it's the only thing that makes it stop hurting

[@wellingtonsmith4998]

"depends how you look at it" yeah... congratulations Florida, ya make us all look dumb and heartless. great skit Steve 🧡🧡

[@heidihansen5793]

I'm a historian. I primarily work at historical sites and I'm worried about the history they are going to teach younger generations. We finally started being more honest about what actually happened. But now, we are regressing. I have the luxury (and very poor pay) of working at a place that is finally and very recentlyis honest happened. Even if some visitors "only came to see a pretty house." But the kickback is really and it worries me.

[@kimwit1307]

For a long time people were taught a cleaned up, easy to swallow kind of history that didn't force them to take a hard look at how the world we live in came to be. A lot of people simply don't want to even see it, so they react in a negative way.

[@heidihansen5793]

@@kimwit1307 these people are always the "we shouldn't erase history" when it comes to taki g down Confederate statues. Also, they are always saying "history is important," but then also think historians deserve low pay and "should have gone into another field if you want better pay."

[@dudescancookshow]

That’s Orwellian stuff…control the past to be able to control the future….or the chocolate ration was decreased from 40 grams to 30 grams….rewrite the past: the ration was increased from 20 to 30 grams

[@johnsmithe4656]

​@@heidihansen5793 These are people who are shallow and only pay attention to money. If you have lots of money then you must be chosen by God. But if you're poor then you must deserve it. Prosperity Gospel. That's how they can dismiss whatever a teacher says, because they look down on teachers and always have. Christian Evangelicalism is a cancer that has spread far too fast in the last 100 years in the US. A poison that's infecting every organ in the body. At the center of it is fascism, authoritarianism, cruelty, superiority, racism, sexism, and theocratic designs. They are literally trying to usurp freedom and democracy so they can wedge in their own fanatical religion-based government, just like the Jihadists in the Middle East. They are absolutely no different. They want Christian Sharia Law in the US. They are radical extremist right wing evangelical christian terrorists. "If we don't call them what they are then we can never solve the problem." I just call these people out when I come across them.... They never have a follow-up defense. When they complain about getting their statues torn down just remind them that those statues are of traitors that supported splitting the Union and it's good to see an end to them, like watching statues of Nazis in Germany being torn down. Why would anyone want a statue of a Nazi in their town? They will have incredibly strong feel-feels at these words and be quite offended. Good thing history doesn't care about said feel-feels. They can kick rocks.

[@hitthegoat]

@@heidihansen5793it’s because these people have no values. They abandon every single value they have when it’s no longer convenient to have said value

[@terprubin]

History teacher here. Thanks for giving me an angle to laugh at this BS. At least I'm not in Florida.

[@rinkuraku5251]

"Slavery was the darkest chapter in American history." Far right: "Hold my beer."

[@lucykitsune4619]

Homer Simpson: The darkest chapter of American history thus far"

[@Clawthorne]

You know... I expected to laugh watching this. Laugh at how ridiculous it is. But instead I'm just sitting here like 😐 because the way you acted it made it too real. Made me realize that there are probably history teachers right now sitting like you did, flabbergasted at the prospect of being told they're expected to teach children that slavery was nothing but a kind and beneficial trade skills opportunity to the africans they kidnapped. That they should have been thankful for the gift of domestication and intelligence given by the white man. And the fact that this is a real thing in 2023, not a parody from an Onion article, or something I read in a history book about Nazi Germany, makes me ashamed to be human.

[@WoefulMinion]

The teachers I've known in my life would be furious. They worked with kids every day and couldn't really be flabbergasted.

[@TheSpeakersofFlames]

If he was a black person trying to post this in any outlet including KZbin, his video would have been immediately flagged and blocked. That part.. 😒 Definitely not the type of video I expected but it's the truth.

[@Graeberwave]

That’s how I feel when I watch Abbott Elementary. I just can’t laugh.

[@Vulcanerd]

Yeah, same here. Also, if we’re to take this absurd, completely bonkers premise at face value... what If I was a slave in 1731 and learned blacksmithing? Unless I lived to be, what, 125, I wouldn’t have had a way to make use of said skill after, right? Somehow, we’ve gone from slavery, darkest stain on American history (though it does have a few of those) to, ehh, slavery wasn’t *all* bad... what in the f.

[@zorakj]

I was once told slaves benefited because we gave them religion (Christianity, of course). They had religions of their own, and even if they didn’t, that’s not a good reason for slavery.

[@flynngames4703]

if these republicans feel that slavery gave job skills to slaves, then they should tell laid off miners to sign up for slavery.

[@Diego-zz1df]

...you think they wouldn't? their idea for dealing with people who don't want to accept starvation wages in the food service industry was to convince seniors to apply for free internships at restaurants as "charity".

[@aloseman]

Don't give them ideas. If they could read, your comment may create some issues.

[@dominicpinchott7432]

How many generations were born into, and died in, slavery. Never getting to apply these supposedly highly regarded skills? Just so that one generation could apply the skills when they got to share crop in the Jim Crow South. Abhorrent.

[@BrianS1981]

As was recently discovered, the modern process for casting wrought iron, which basicly kicked off the industrial revolution in the UK, was stolen off West African blacksmiths and metalworkers by Henry Court who had bought them as slaves for his Jamaica iron works. So even the idea that slaves learnt job skills is a falsehood (except when they learnt off each other), their skills were stolen off them and the profits of those skills given to others.

[@bobbun9630]

They would, if all those laid off (or even still working) miners weren't part of their base. They're only really interested in the financial prospects of the owners, but a bit of carrot (red meat for the base) and stick (can't have nice things because jobs!) goes a long way in persuading the prejudiced and fearful to overlook that kind of thing. I wouldn't go so far as to say that "miners" fit that description, but those who do fit that description seem to be overrepresented among blue collar workers, especially in traditionally conservative parts of the country.

[@turjun]

“It depends on how you look at it.” should be the state motto 🙄

[@anders6326]

I laughed too hard at this. Language is uncanny. This sentence is so bland but context just adds so much substance to it.

[@KyleSmith-qt9sg]

@@anders6326 Context is something the reich wing has a very hard time with.

[@immortan-valkyrie90]

Florida professor here and holy shit this is fucking nightmare. Please vote blue everyone.

[@biblegirl]

I'm a teacher in Florida, but at a private school. I'm so glad we don't have to deal with this crazy stuff

[@kimwit1307]

Am I wrong to assume that there are porbably quite a few private i.e. religiously inspired schools where this kind of thing has always been the norm?

[@biblegirl]

@@kimwit1307 I am at a Christian school but we don't have any rules about books whatsoever. We also celebrate different heritage/history months. It is quite odd how these little things make us "progressive" in Florida

[@virginiaoflaherty2983]

Interesting that the private schools in the south are an answer to integration which was an effort to bring equal educational opportunity to all. So whites fled public schools and now they are free to teach/learn that slavery was bad. But the poor whites and Black and other ethnic groups have to learn that slavery, injustice and cruelty are good. Twisted and sick. Those guys who came up with this abomination will not be heading for heaven.

[@triarb5790]

​@@biblegirl oh I bet you do. Are you trying to claim that a 'Christian' school does not skew the book choices to suit, supposed, "Christian Values"? (whatever the Fk they are) I call bullshute.

[@edwardrhoads7283]

Not yet but with the way the legislature there is going.... Might not be too long....

[@user-ws3pr7jj4k]

As someone who lives in Florida, Who is transgender and who recently graduated from FSU, I can say that what the republican party is doing to this state, to the people of this state and to the educational institutions in this state, is REPUGNANT, VILE AND DISGUSTING!!! I have friends who are faculty with tenure who are considering leaving the state. There is a mass exodus of educators and physicians because of the revolting laws, regulations and policies which have been passed in implemented by this administration recently.

[@Thurasiz]

That means said revolting laws, regulations and policies work 100% as intended. The last thing republicans want in their states are educators who might teach kids facts, or thinking for themselves. I mean where would that lead ?

[@hotelmario510]

One of my friends used to live in Florida, she moved to another state with the help of her friends. I really hope more people can escape before they start opening concentration camps.

[@jayfredrickson8632]

That first clause hit me right in the feels. Horrible place and time to be trans.

[@LordLOC]

And to me the bigger problem is the amount of people in this state who AGREE with this insanity. Who either think it's good "for the children" or "it's against god" etc. Like, what?

[@someone1tohold]

they only need dr's for the top political scammers and rich people anyway. everyone else's new medical services will be tent church scam healer's

[@sloth4urluv]

This is sad. I had to tell my boys to inform me if their teachers have them watch any PragerU videos in class.

[@CrescentUmbreon]

Please do all you, and the other parents, can to make them stop

[@Gery1214]

"Depends on how you look at it." Awesome job on this one.

[@jamesholland8057]

The benefits of Auschwitz is in our world history class. OMG. Laughed loudly on that one. Great work and keep on keep on with the good work.

[@chrisdroney8141]

After watching this video I genuinely thought you made up the thing about slavery's benefits as an exaggeration of Florida's new laws. I was saddened to learn that you basically directly quoted the curriculum.

[@hokieduck]

@stopthecrazyguy9948 I would suggest reading the news. It is less open to being pushed in one direction or the other and you can always stop, throw up and come back to it without missing anything.

[@shaneg9081]

I also sang the answer to the first question. lol Then I damn near died when he asked "what were some of the benefits of slavery." And not the dying of laughter sort of dying. Then he rephrased it and added "to the slaves." And then the benefits of the holocaust. I think I'm going to go cry now.

[@bridgetofold5645]

Thank you for this. I was feeling alone in the stupity of this. I was born in Florida and it was my last duty station. And the state of my birth makes me so sad.

[@trinsit]

GOD DAAAAAMN! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 You are on FIRE with this one!

[@christopherwilson3754]

I've lived almost 56 years on this planet. I've never been ashamed or embarrassed to be a white guy. Until now. Why can't we just teach that, yes there are heinous, terrible, horrible things in our collective past but we've overcome so much through hard work, sacrifice and cooperation. Yes we still have far to go, but if we learn from our past rather than try to hide or whitewash it, the good and the bad (especially the bad), we can only do better. Or am I just high? 5:16

[@willrobinson9767]

We haven't overcome... There are far more slaves on the planet now than there was then...... Not counting indentured servitude.... Being a slave because you have no money.... Most people fall into that category.....

[@willrobinson9767]

Only change was they stopped calling it slavery..... Company store and share cropping is the same thing.....

[@willrobinson9767]

Virtually all the slaves Upon being released from slavery.... Ended up working for the same people on the same land as sharecroppers.....

[@kurisu7885]

@@willrobinson9767 Such as being anchored to a job you hate because your health-care is tied to it.

[@marieroberts5664]

​@@willrobinson9767while I appreciate the sentiment, I would not call what most of the Americans that live paycheck to paycheck experience "slavery". Yes, it is what some people call "wage slavery", not able to leave an abusive work situation due to lack of other opportunities, but it is still not close to the chattel slavery practiced in the US. I would argue that it's not even close to the sharecropping/company town situation of the 19th and 20th centuries. Sharecropping was when a farmer was a tenant on the land and would pay rent and for necessities at the end of the growing season when the harvest was in with a share of the crop. An honest landlord and a series of good harvests might see the sharecroppers get ahead. Hard, very hard, but possible. Company towns were by design serfdoms. Once you started working, the salary was often not enough to pay back the company for the rent for the shack you slept in, the food you ate and clothes you wore, God forbid that you needed a doctor and medicine. Not only that, you were paid in company money, called script, which could only be used at the company store. If you tried to leave before breaking even, you could be arrested for theft. The company would not exchange script for US currency, so the best you could do is leave with nothing - which is why script was outlawed by Congress, on the grounds that printing money was a federal monopoly. Once the script system was illegal and unions became legal, the situation improved dramatically. So while the current at will work system leaves much to be desired, it is still not as desperate as it was under the robber barons, and no where near the plantation and the 'peculiar institution'.

[@ODavies]

"Depends how you look at it" - damn, Steve. That last punch - tied a bow on the theme, perfectly timed, beautifully delivered, expertly edited. I was equal parts amused and uncomfortable throughout the video, but that final line drew an explosive laugh out of me. Bravo, sir :^D

[@halofeuer]

"That's like saying Auschwitz was a weight-loss camp" This killed me

[@deanprince8602]

Don't be too sorry, it's why we had an opening. That is an absolutely brutal, chilling, and funny line. Satire at its best. Excellent work.

[@patrickmccartney2418]

“It depends on how you look at it.” That is the secret.

[@Leo0991]

As someone who went to schoo to become a 7th grade social studies teacher in PA, this hits too scary.

[@gapsule2326]

This really opened my eyes... to the benefits of school shootings. Its a job creator.

[@Insightfill]

Wildly, my nephew just graduated college and started teaching history in Florida last year. I hope he's ok!

[@teacherjoe7019]

Believe me! After teaching a year here in Florida, I'm sure your nephew is well aware of banned books and warped educational standards. He should also know that the Bill of Rights do not apply to him on campus. He should also join the union for legal services in case he is accused of anything.

[@nicholasfarrell5981]

I probably shouldn't have laughed at "Don't be too sorry, it's the reason we had an opening", but I don't regret it.

[@anders6326]

I mean. Theres too many bodies and not enough decent work, and some of us want to utilize the degree we worked hard for... and food service isnt acceptable, so... Gotta start subtracting.

[@thagomizer4711]

“Depends how you look at it” holy fuck the accuracy

[@kazeryu17]

It's crazy and sad to think I may some day have to explain to someone how I managed to be able to go to college after graduating from High School in Florida. It was a different time folks. 😔

[@albdamned577]

Basically the standard in fl is this , people being fired or leaving are honest, the rest don’t deserve the air they use to lie to children.

[@danielleS257]

Let’s not get crazy. I’ve been here longer than DeSantis has been alive. I’m not about to give up my home, family & friends b/c he is temporarily holding us hostage. His time will end & we will return to sanity.

[@francoislacombe9071]

Dark humor at its best.

[@tgc93]

This reminds me of how much I had to learn about racism in America when I got to college because I just wasn’t really taught about it growing up in a conservative household and going to a school that was 90% white in the south. We were basically taught that racism ended in the 60’s and I didn’t have easy internet access or any black people around me to tell me otherwise.

[@christopherparks2987]

Same here. I’m 33 and a bit ashamed of my teenage self

[@sunchild9455]

Same here. I'm 42 now and a black woman who grew up in the MidWest. I was around middle school age when I found out people were or could possibly be racist. My parents never talked about it. They never taught us not to play with white kids, and neither did the parents of the white kids we played with. Our innocence was stripped from us as we got older, and then the racism started peeking through. I long to go back to that innocence.

[@lisalisa4182]

Brings to mind the time my 7th grade math teacher in rural Alabama (back in the 70's) closed her classroom door and gave us her opinion about slavery. How there were laws against slave owners abusing their slaves, and how the slaves were clothed, fed and sheltered in return for a little work. Mrs. Morgan, I will never forget or forgive you for that lesson. I only wish I had had the maturity to confront you at the time. I can't believe this crap is coming up again in 2023...😥

[@ovrjoyd4u2]

This made me chuckle, but a piece of me died inside. Satire at its highest level.

[@snugglyhugs8698]

Today was back to school training for us up here in Alaska. I've been keeping an eye on what happens in Florida as I used to have family there, and it terrifies me. Especially since today's training if read out loud in Florida would have resulted in all of us being arrested. Florida, you really need to get rid of your Nazi infection before it goes septic.

[@logiciananimal]

I admire many things about Americans and the US, and one of them is the courage of true patriotism. Not "my country, right or wrong" but instead, "my country, great but capable of even more!". Steve continues the great tradition of Mark Twain.

[@Dysiode]

The only "greatness" America ever achieved was landing humans on the moon. Every other aspect of American history is dark AF

[@Ryanookami]

@@DysiodeI would argue against this slightly. It’s less the achievements of America as a whole, but truly there are Americans that have revolutionized our daily lives, and a part of that does come from the fact that America, when confronted with a truly remarkable idea, does have more leeway to invest in such ventures than many countries. After all, home computing, to cell phones, wifi, email, and a lot of other related tech was mostly developed in America. A lot of medical tech, like MRI machines were as well. The stealth bomber, Hubble telescope, and of course most of the manned and unmanned space vehicles were as well. And then there’s just all the silly fame/popularity media adjacent stuff of the modern era, like KZbin, Google, fitbit, iPods etc etc that were developed in America. So yeah, America the country has a horrible dark and terrible past they’d like to hide, but many American individuals, or small teams of individuals that come together, have made some of the items that have truly changed the way we interact with the world on a fundamental level. …until those small teams are bought out, or strong-armed out, or find that other greedier companies have found away to leverage their debts against them in order to seize control, or they’re just rich to begin with off their daddy’s money and force their way into getting credit for the company’s revolutionary ideas despite having nothing to do with the promise except the money to force their way in 👀

[@kimwit1307]

Modern US "patriotism" has mutated into rabid nationalism...

[@salsabil44]

I think this is one of the problems of those on the right in the US. They automatically take the posiition that what the US does around the world, in ´spreading democracy´- therefore the US government, and by extension the US military - is always morally right.

[@KyleSmith-qt9sg]

@@kimwit1307 Christo-fascist nationalism*

[@p__b__3749]

I showed this to my wife and she loved it as well. Great commentary and hilarious in the best Carlin-esque manner. Well done Steve!

[@karmachameleon326]

“depends on how you look at it” hurt me, physically. Great writing!

[@ByrdieFae]

This is so dark and hilarious, I want to cry. 😂

[@Sheriff_Bruce_Lee]

"Can't you name at least one benefit of slavery?" "...*shrugs* It was better than working in the Navy." *points off camera*

[@Dysiode]

I understood that reference

[@mattrobinson47]

Excellent! Well-written, and nice job on the minimal production! You can do a lot with very few resources, and the dialogue seals the deal

[@typeviic1]

I would say evading slave patrols (the precursor to modern police) would be a "skill".

[@copernicofelinis]

"slave patrols (the precursor to modern police)" Well, that explains a lot.

[@marymorris6897]

Well done. Thanks for your work putting this together.

[@Xanthemew]

And I thought it would be like they asking you: "Are you woke?" and then they burn your books and sue you for endangering the children.

[@jeremievigliaturo1317]

"Im sorry i should have phrased that differently" And then the re-phrase, I spit my coffee.

[@Mr.Zen_73]

'It's the reason we had an opening' - that's DARK and HILARIOUS!!! LMAO 🤣😛😜

[@bgw33]

Thanks, Steve. Beautifully written and executed.

[@plasmaburndeath]

Dark and damn hits the target of the dystopia we keep falling into.

[@Anmeteor9663]

Went to school in 1970s England. Most teachers were socialist/anarchist hippies. Taught us the social history of Britain from the perspective of the downtrodden masses and the evils of colonialism at home and abroad. I consider myself very lucky.

[@Roman_Adrian]

"Depends on how you look at it" - That is DEFINITELY the attitude down here.

[@Teisha2112]

This is phenomenal and pretty much sums it up! Great vid!!!!! ❤

[@kellharris2491]

People are acting like this is a new thing. I remember in history the teacher came in and practically yelled that the civil war wasn't about slavery it was about property rights. And this was in Illinois. People have been trying to rewrite history from the beginning.

[@stufromoz8164]

This is one of best comedy channels on the tube.

[@seanjones2456]

This is outstanding. When the writers strike ends, I am expecting a new show about Florida ASAP!

[@mcsemark]

Thanks for doing this Steve!

[@Two_Ravens]

Education about slavery under DeSantis. "It's basically an internship. By the way, you're welcome."

[@UltimateSpinDash]

Wow, you even thought of 4:42. Which, coming from Germany, was pretty close to the comparison I was going to make. And of course, the visual gag with the background.

[@jamesphillips2285]

Background just look like lowish resolution virtual set dressing to me.

[@jeffnorris7592]

Not Jeff here. Steve, I enjoy that you made this. I'm infuriated that you have to make this.

[@ajney6756]

Satire at its best. Thank you!

[@TrueYellowDart]

Heh. At first I thought the white hair wig was tin foil. Which still fit the scene.

[@laikapupkino1767]

Black humor at its timely & relevant finest. A curriculum from Hell, or from Prager U....

[@shawnholbrook7278]

Not laughing, just quietly thankful. I am glad that you said these things.

[@grumpy7678]

Brilliant !!! More so because it was less of a parody and more of a faithful depiction of current teacher job interviews in Florida.

[@gjohnson4758]

Left out the part where he takes the teaching job and finds out his pay is just slightly above the poverty line.

[@jeffhough7460]

I love this, incredibly disgusting the way Florida has gone

[@Raptorifik]

whoa, that was insightful, well done, and enlightening.

[@maxscameraguy]

We need more Florida content like this.