Forgiveness versus Holding Grudges

Who benefits by forgiveness? Who do you really need to forgive? Let's talk about that in this video.

[@Confessions089]

Man I know some people that need to hear this, along with minding their business.

[@thatvegassmile]

Such a great video Dan, thank you! ❤

[@PainFreeYou]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@ashleylavine2900]

It was brought to my attention that I need to forgive myself. After taking a hard look at myself I realized this is correct. I am still mad at myself for stuff I did when I was 16 so 19 years ago...... mad at myself for falling last year ect. I specifically went searching your videos hoping you'd done a video on it. Just what I needed!

[@PainFreeYou]

Hey Ashley. Glad you found the video and think this is helpful. I know people who have been beating themselves up over things from 40 years ago. That habit has done nothing to help them and just held them back from life. Learn the lesson from the experience and let it go. You CAN do that.

[@zookeeperification]

What about the people we have hurt? Should we reach out to them and make amends like we do in the Anonymous groups? I am playing with this idea right now because I am confronting some truly bad behavior from my past. I am a grudge holder, and I find it hard to let go of grudges to others, and that is some of my main work right now. But it is going to be much harder to forgive myself when I see that what I did was truly wrong and that it hurt someone else. That shame is probably the deepest emotion that I need to feel and release. But what about revisiting the source with the others involved? Is that just replaying the story? I have never actually worked the 12 steps, and I am not sure that making amends is a legitimate thing to do because it feels like trying to get yourself off the hook. Hmmmm...

[@zookeeperification]

I love your imagery, Dan! I was a zookeeper for the last 15 years of my working life, and I literally shoveled a lot of shit. That job is where the massive amount of pain I have had started due to the fact that I believed every single day that I was a really bad zookeeper, so I piled the shit on myself there and I still suffer from the shame of all that failure. Lots of shit to shovel out of myself now. Thanks for that imagery. LOL

[@PainFreeYou]

Only you can decide if an apology to people you have hurt is warranted at this time. I would begin by forgiving yourself and seeing if there is still a compelling need to apologize to the other person.

[@natoshadooley3000]

I am needing to learn how to let go of the past it is making me 😷

[@PainFreeYou]

Perhaps this video can help? kzbin.info/www/bejne/qpmpm6utmbdlars

[@natoshadooley3000]

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