The Kulture Study: CHUNG HA 'Killing Me' MV REACTION & REVIEW

[@PallaviBhattacharya94]

I feel as if the Russian Doll represents herself. I feel it shows that while her outward image is pretty and that she is having a wonderful life and has a lot of friends, internally she is a mess and all alone. You can see that the more and more she opens the russian dolls, the more damaged they are. The dolls are probably an eye opener for her. Probably she didnt realise how much damaged she is and opening the dolls made her scared of her own self. I also really like the line where she says 'Miss the future so bad, I wish I could go back' alluring to the fact that her past self which may not have been so damaged had a bright potential, a bright future but somewhere it went wrong and now she is a mess with all the happiness gone.

[@rikaze]

Totally agree with this interpretation! It's what I understood too. And you can see the stages of grief actually. She goes through shock and denial, then you see the pain and guilt in the bathtub scene, you have the anger scene, finally at the end, the last shot of her, you see acceptance. She's torn down this fake flowers and rainbows happy party of a life that wasn't really her, and yes now everything's mess and it's ground zero, but she's free to rebuild again. It really feels like this song is about how living up to an image that isn't her is killing her, but letting that go and becoming true to herself is also a painful and destructive (but necessary) process. The contrast between the wardrobe of outside happy flowery chunga and her more vulnerable inner self lends to this as well.

[@NiNi.258]

that was my interpretation too. someone might look like their life is all together but the more you peel off those layers and get to take a look at what actually id going on inside them then you realize they're a mess just like everyone.

[@leosdances]

Agree!

[@goodietwoshoes7238]

@@rikaze this is a wonderful follow up

[@BoosBucketHat]

I think the Russian dolls represent her memories and each time she opens a layer of the dolls her memories haunt her. That's why at the end she steps on it. If you look close you'll notice that each time she unwraps a layer chaos breaks lose

[@haleighza]

the line “i miss the future so bad; i wish that we could go back” hits me so hard every timeeee. chungha really doesn’t hold back

[@KingOfEden12]

Guess i missed that one lol wouldn't you miss the past ? Or is there something slightly deeper about this line that I'm completely missing haha

[@fireflieer2422]

@@KingOfEden12 I could be wrong but I think it’s something along the lines of wishing/missing the feeling of picturing and yearning for the future with that special someone. Like the feeling of that hopeful outlook on the future

[@ChkdAma]

@@KingOfEden12 the way I interpreted is missing what you thought the future would be.. wishing to go back when you thought future was bright.

[@jordyyybuff]

@@KingOfEden12 OMG SAME I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE

[@haleighza]

@@KingOfEden12 i just really like the word play of it all and how it perfectly encapsulates that feeling of like “i really thought this would turn out differently, and i’d be living a different life right now”. i feel like everyone had different plans for themselves these past years and while we do miss the past before everything went down, we also are mourning the loss of what we thought was our future. and chungha really just hit that feeling perfectly imo

[@chenashlynx7477]

Chungha is such a great artist

[@초코라떼냐옹]

맞아 맞아

[@veach737]

I feel like --- while one part of it is definitely as what Chungha has mentioned about it relating to the pandemic and feeling down and low but healing from it, one can also interpret it with relations to mental health and depression, something which people don't say much but--as perhaps what the dolls represent we all bottle inside due to "societal's pre-requisites" and to live as "normal" or what society decides is pristine, perfect and normal. At times, we even forget that we've bottled those terrible feelings of insecurity, self doubt and terror inside that when we're reminded of it, it's a painful battle to push and follow through. When Chungha opens up that first doll, her "perfect" picture of everything being okay is shaken. One could see it as the first reckoning--little smatterings of self doubt, that slowly seep in over time and worsen her condition--her hair gets messier, her dressing gets barer, she loses interest in maintaining what is "great" in the eyes of many--appearance. She tries to combat it with what she believes she loves the most--flashbacks of her friends, reminding herself of her importance and anchors in this world, but it's nothing but a futile attempt, as sufficed by the closing walls. This is further emphasized too by the part where she's staring at the camera and mouthing the words "It's all your fault" or something along those lines. With all the self doubt, insecurity and thoughts closing in, she's fighting the losing battle against herself--and finally everything breaks apart with the sink upon the floor and the constant thoughts & dissection of what she hasn't done well, what's not good enough--until it all summarises into that singular sentence. "It's all your fault." When desperation and insecurity overwhelms us, it also turns into rage, funnelling us to beat ourselves up. We present this beautiful self amongst the shattered mess of our inner psyche--everyone thinks we're okay, but we're caught in that mix of terror and hanging from the precipice until the moment that we accept things. The tiniest doll in her hand that she opens last could represent the "healing" aspect that Chungha has mentioned of this song herself--acceptance that this is now a part of her, that doubts will forever be there, and to become anew she needs to break apart everything she has thought of and set as boundaries for herself. You can see how much she's thought through this--unlike all the other dolls, the last doll is faded, marked with nail lines and evidences of her possibly countlessly stroking the doll, rubbing away the paint that makes it's perfect appearance--she's come to the crossroads where she's seemingly perfect, and yet knowing that she's about to crumble and the question that's lingering is the question of : Do I save myself or do I let myself fall. And she saves herself. By stepping upon that doll, she accepts the terrible parts of herself, the insecurity, the self doubt, and grows from it. everything gets destroyed and put back together at the same time as she wrecks the four walls and perfect furniture--the "boundaries" she's set for herself in the past. And she's awfully wrecked in the end in appearance and to others but you can tell she feels at ease with herself. "Miss the future so bad, I wish that we could go back." Its a sentence full of both hope and regret in a way. She looks forward to what happens next after accepting that terrible part of herself, and yet longs for the time where all these self doubts and terrifying thoughts never existed. In the end she sits in a throne full of destroyed things, perfect and immaculate in what you'd probably call like a white and black hair (one could see it as having accepted the white [parts she needs to present to others] as well as the black [ the doubt, the insecurity and depression] as a part of herself). She becomes the Chungha that we've always known--but from that dark surroundings all around her, perhaps this is the Dark Chungha that's been hidden deep down inside that she doesn't want or like to show everyone--that chair of "Nothing is for me" is acknowledgement that her doubts and pain will always be there, as shown be the mess and colours all surrounding it, supplemented by the darkness...and it ends. She's shown a full insight into her inner self and her thoughts, perhaps confiding a little part of herself that others would not have dared to in her position with both beautiful lyrics and production of the mv. Or perhaps of course, I may be looking at this and overthinking it in a completely wrong manner xD There's that too HAHA, but just a darker food for thought. My apologies for the horrifyingly long comment xD and if you persisted thru this, know that you're a CHAMP XD

[@kyeteng7634]

Wow this is so good!! Thank you for this 👏🏻

[@ysy_26]

What a wonderful interpretation!

[@hawaiianpunch06]

First of all, I love this "comeback" single. Just pure Chung Ha. Everything I expect from her. Second, she mentions in an interview that "Bicycle" felt like an end of an era for her and that "Killing Me" was her announcing a new beginning. With that in mind, I think the meaning of the MV altogether is speaking to her uncertainty in moving in a new direction. Her nice bedroom, the memories of good times with friends, all symbolizing a comfortable life that she's lead for a while now. Opening the nesting doll I think may just mean she's revealing new parts of herself and the destruction of her room (her comfort zone) shows how scary that process could be for her. I really love songs like this that on the surface just sounds like a catchy bop, but digging underneath a little bit and there's a darker meaning to it.

[@marci7492]

My interpretation of the Russian Dolls is that they represent herself. On the outside everything seems fine. But with every doll/every layer of herself she puts away the messier it gets. I can relate to relate too that alot. It is easy to not think about yourself to much but once you actually dig deeper into your mental state it can become pretty overwhelming and frightening. Just like in the video whenever she opens one doll she is shocked, the sets get more and more haunting and she looks more messed up. While the first outer doll was perfectly intact the most inner doll is completly scratched and broken.

[@BoosBucketHat]

I think the Russian dolls represent her memories and each time she opens a layer of the dolls her memories haunt her. That's why at the end she steps on it. If you look close you'll notice that each time she unwraps a layer chaos breaks lose

[@Kabbaway]

This song hits close to home - dunno what it's about, but from the video it reminds me of my own struggle with mental illness... the happy memories with loved ones juxtaposed with the anguished present, and the worsening turmoil the deeper you collapse into yourself represented by the Russian dolls... I have a deep respect for how subjective this song/video is! 💚

[@cosmicalsims]

Its about the pandemic

[@yujin4038]

@@cosmicalsims i- 💀💀😭

[@am5ters504]

@@cosmicalsims bruh- songs can be interpreted in more than one way LMAO

[@harlaylaymarie]

I kinda interpret the matryoshka (the Russian dolls) as like it’s something that happened or event (could be the pandemic starting as an example) and all hell breaks loose. And once she thinks she is free from the last hell she opens it to reveal another one which could be another bad event happening. Like if you use the pandemic as the example it spiraled into all these bad things happening for people. I think in the end she steps on it to finally put an end to the cycle and stop the pain

[@sweetomatos]

Chungha said herself that the russian doll represents herself who got trapped by HERSELF, so it's like chungha traps her own self with many of her emotions during her hard time that it only gets darker and darker. At the end, she stepped on the last/smallest doll which represents that she finally lets herself go and free!

[@sweetomatos]

This MV's storyline was made by Chungha herself, and the song is also written by herself with some songwriters. Killing Me tells about repeated life (during pandemic) that feels like long dark tunnel, but she hopes for the light to wait for her in the end of tunnel. Following this explanation, she also said the feelings come from her personal struggles, as we know chungha has been frequently taking counseling for her mental health in 2021 💘 this song is very personal to her that she cherishes this song so much and paid so much attention more than her previous songs.

[@jea7743]

You hit the interpretation on the spot, she misses the times where she looked forward to the future because her present feels suffocating

[@cvbb]

Chungha is really slaying in every concept!

[@rezadyn87]

Her best song for me by far

[@BloodofaFool]

I LOVE when Chungha does these kinds of songs. Killing It gives me Rollercoaster vibes. Ive had it on repeat since It came out. Best part is that the choreo is beautiful. You gotta check out her performance video. She's Killing It right now

[@cy4957]

From what I've read matryoshkas (the russian dolls) symbolise the unity of body, soul, mind, heart and spirit! It appears as if Chungha breaks down even more after removing each layer of the russian doll to me?? I would guess that it's reflective of her mental state but i'm not really sure about the whole plot of the mv with the d-day etc. (quick edit: russian dolls also mean other things like fertility and motherhood but what i've written above seems to fit with the narrative the most)

[@mr.gengarsin6403]

This song is about the struggles that she been through after she got Covid🥲🥲

[@messingo6080]

I understand it like this: when she opens up the dolls it´s like pulling of a layer of herself which hides her anxiety or struggles. In one line she sings " try to pretend" which could mean that she hides her true self behind those perfect "idol" layers. By opening the dolls and destroying them she fights with her own problem. Every time she opens up another layer it just get worse and worse and more and more chaotic. And in the end we get to know the "real Chungha" which is not as perfect as portrait with the dolls earlier. She is also just a human being struggeling with differnt kind of things. Thats atleast what i got out of it. Thanks for your awesome breakdowns! Keep continuing!

[@leosdances]

Totally agree!

[@SobrelaLuna24]

That's what I thought too!!!! 🤯🤝

[@BoosBucketHat]

I think the Russian dolls represent her memories and each time she opens a layer of the dolls her memories haunt her. That's why at the end she steps on it. If you look close you'll notice that each time she unwraps a layer chaos breaks lose

[@leosdances]

Killing me was a song part of her next 5th mini album but she wanted to give it more spotlight and made it a special single! She is credited as a producer of the MV and said in the behind Video that she took a major part in creating the whole concept and storyline as well as the design & photoshoot and many other things of the whole CB process! She also co-wrote the lyrics of the Song! You can see that this song really has a special part in her heart! Her CB with her 5th mini album is planned to come in the beginning of the next year! 😍😍😍

[@jinnah6524]

Killing Me is stuck in my head 24/7. Is it just me or does it sound a lot like a mashup of Taylor Swift and something else? Gives me Blank Space vibes. Also kind of reminds me of Porter Robinson’s Shelter

[@unsungantihero2927]

some parts kind of remind me of ariana grande's break free

[@jinnah6524]

@@unsungantihero2927 oooh good point. I can sort of see it now, what with the melancholic vibes.

[@PersonWithStupid37]

Weirdly enough, she reminds me of Utada Hikaru’s OST for the Kingdom Hearts 1 game lol. kzbin.info/www/bejne/Zp-umq1-armJlck

[@zulal118]

this is kind of a pre-release from her 5th mini album, she herself said she didnt want this song to be a regular track from album but a special one by all meanings. that’s why it’s a special release. she also participated in everything.

[@gabrijelavrankovic9958]

BEST SOLOIST

[@Ryuoinsomnia]

This givin me major Zedd vibes like Fifty Fifty Loving me

[@levtecson8511]

I feel like this is about all what we've been feeling during the pandemic.We did not expect this drastic change and it all affected us mentally and emotionally. Same as what Chungha has been experiencing. I am in love with this song !

[@immoore4614]

The russian dolls, in my opinion, symbolizes Chungha’s layers either as a person or her mental health. Im not saying she’s ACTUALLY like that but in the video, yes. I think it can also signal like triggers for trauma. How we can have a perfectly good day then POP everything goes to shit because of a trigger.

[@BoosBucketHat]

I think the Russian dolls represent her memories and each time she opens a layer of the dolls her memories haunt her. That's why at the end she steps on it. If you look close you'll notice that each time she unwraps a layer chaos breaks lose

[@vanessazaragoza6788]

Honestly I'm in love with Chungha and everything she does

[@fightthisfreeze]

i discovered this song yesterday and it legitimately makes me cry

[@autumneagle]

Every shot in this video, every line delivered, reminded me why I'm hopelessly in love with this artist. Chung Ha has consistently been my #2 soloist of all time only behind a woman I've admired for over a decade (Sunmi) and she shows it here again that she is leagues above every western soloist as well

[@slowmoving7996]

chungha has such a wonderful voice .. i just love her😭 its because of chungha that i got interested in kpop

[@taebearzuzu4974]

for me this is the best solo release this year. everything is just... perfect

[@carol2788]

For someone (me) that is leaving their 20’s almost getting 30, losing friends, getting old, had some bad birthdays, that is my interpretation. I really like the music and MV.

[@kwarantine_kween5589]

IVE BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS ONE 😩🤞🏾

[@beatricep103]

I loooove the "It's killing me, killing me" part, it sounds so beautiful! I'm a sucker for beautiful hooks like that... I'm thinking of the pre-chorus in Apple by GFriend or the chorus in Heaven's Cloud by Seventeen... they always manage to sound so light and floaty! Something in the way they go up and down the scale sounds so pretty to me

[@LucasS541]

so from interviews she said the first concept of the song/video was that she was haunted by a ghost, but they decided in the end that the memories would not manifest this way. She said as well that because of covid this year was really hard for her, so the song is about that as well

[@shawnbesabella]

Forget the confines of kpop I think Chungha is putting out some of the best pop music in general right now.

[@immoore4614]

Chungha just gives us diverse concepts, great vocals, and BEAUTIFUL choreography as always. I love her so much.

[@Roxst1905]

the mixing on her voice aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

[@ДюсеноваАсем]

Thank you so much for your reaction!

[@luxariaheart]

the instant i heard the chorus drop, i fell in love. this song has such a melancholic undertone to it despite its catchy and upbeat melody.

[@bactayria]

song of the year

[@yannapalo7212]

I think it represents growing up and the struggles of every phase that passes (child, teenager, adult). Just every year, you crack open and lose more of herself (the matryoshka dolls) as well as innocence and sanity and dont know how to deal with it. I agree with the other people saying she went through stages of grief too. Personally, I related to the song with my descent and acceptance of my mental health. "Miss the future so bad. I wish that we could go back" hits haaaard cuz when we still called current times as "the future", it was all hopes and dreams and all glittery and bright, I wish I could see the future like that again if I could. Ugh love this song. Edit: Might also be that the future you imagine having and then when you crack it open you are faced with hardships and the reality of life so in the end when she imagines a future of "crushing" herself (stepping on the doll) she refuses to open that up anymore and holds the remaining doll in her hand instead of opening it, taking care of her current self from that point on

[@Stellassounds]

I love the instrumental for this song so much!

[@TeasetMonster]

I took the matryoshka to be like how every day feels the same, while getting more and more claustrophobic during the pandemic. The memories of being with people you love are precious and beautiful, but also torturous, because you mourn the loss of the future you were going to have before all this happened, and wish you could return to the past. Also, I imagine that it was completely accidental, but I drew some parallels between the MV and the TV series, Russian Doll, where the protagonist is forced to repeat the day of her birthday over and over again, dying before the end of each day and coming to standing in front of the bathroom mirror at the house of her friend who is hosting her birthday party. And as she's stuck in the time loop, the world within the time loop begins deteriorating.

[@elnathan2930]

I feel like this video represents how everyone felt during at some point. And I feel like the dolls represent her subconscious and her depression. Cause everytime she opens the dolls the theme of the song gets darker as if she is getting more depressed they further back she remembers. And her crushing the dolls and keeping the smallest ones is her deciding that she has gotten used to or comfortable living in that shattered frame of mind.

[@pilotkey6526]

Loved this reaction! Honestly, Chungha always makes amazing music, I can't stop listening to this one, it's stuck in my head. Personally I'd like to think, that the Russian dolls represent her memories. It's like she goes deeper and deeper in her memories and it messes with her head. I honestly can relate to it very badly. Even tho with this theory, idkw what the last doll represents. The deepest memory? Her old self? Than why would she step on it? Perhaps, to forget, or to get rid of her past self that brings her pain now. Very confused and in love with Chungha, that's my conclusion😅

[@Sophia_1004]

yupp i think it's her recalling her memories

[@mq6845]

She doesn't let us down.

[@jasontzouganatos9311]

I would suggest that the russian dolls represent her age, she opens one on her birthday and she doesnt like the feeling of getting old, that's why she wants to go back, since this is stressing her out.

[@alicetappers8942]

This song is so good. Definitely in my playlist

[@DanFloresII]

I've been waiting for this reaction. This song and video are incredible! Somebody in the comments for the MV stated that the song is about growing up and that the dolls are layers of adulthood where you think things will improve but get worse and more difficult. There's probably more to it though.

[@twicestereomusic1381]

Maybe you should try reading the description of the video. It basically explain the meaning of the video and how she helps writing the lyrics for this song.

[@ДюсеноваАсем]

I love this song!

[@shukrishariff7292]

She’s getting better and better.. its killing me 😍🥰 acting on point 🔥🔥

[@cpaintransit86]

Waited for this. CHUNGHAAAA

[@lalalala7191]

she's so perfect

[@opheliaarcana231]

I think the Russian dolls represent her inner many layers from the past to the present. Each time she open a layer of the doll, it's like she go back in time within her memories. She wanted to find her happy memories but keep seeing painful memories instead. When she sang "Mr. Future I wish I could go back", perhaps she meant that she wanted to go back to the happiest moments of her life. The last and smallest Russian doll which is also the most damaged, it may be the most painful part of her self. So I guess maybe she's traveling down memory lane on her current birthday.

[@kitcatisms]

I tend to relate music to personal experiences so my take (due to an ongoing matter for me rn); A friends group that used to be a source of joy has, slowly over time, became a toxic one. Many instances of unintentional & intentional hurt inflicted that has been over & over again masked with a smile. As a person that dislikes upsetting others I tend to push my own pain down & it gets covered in more & more layers of "I'm fine" (both a lie to others and myself) which seems to fit Chungha's character in this. Thus the russian doll represents the dawning awareness that she's not okay; every layer peeled back reveals a new 'low', & the pain of her true feelings makes her flash back to when the friendships were healthy. She misses them & the laughter, but how the mv frames the her in the past slowly becoming more reclusive implies Chungha seeing how she destroyed herself.... Which is why, at the end, we're left with that "nothing is for me," message. I relate it very much to the feeling of how your voice can be lost in the effort to keep others happy, & it hits that no one cared so long as they were appeased. Pulling free of those false friendships, when at your lowest, results in feelings like the lyrics "I miss the future so bad" (feeling like there was one with these people, always assuming they'd be there) & "i wish that we could go back" (the awareness that she can no longer unsee the pain inflicted, & regrets waking up to it). Just my take tho.

[@julianaferrari1349]

For me the russian dolls are representing the layers of her memories and emotions. I've never disliked a song by Chungha, she's amazing! 😍

[@hitomi272]

PD spitting out all these content like a BEAST!!!!

[@alicetappers8942]

This is my POV: She looks happy but when she tries to go deeper inside (layers of the doll) she discovers she's lost and hurt. She is broken inside but she looks cheerful outside.

not sure about the intended meaning but what I see resonates so much with me. january 2020, I was scared shitless of the future but I also had hope, friends and some form of happiness amongst all anxieties. now all I'm left with is anxieties...

[@CapeEniEer]

Its interesting to me how PD doesnt get the video while I got it right away. I thought it would be obvious to everyone. Its about childhood trauma that haunts her, especially during her birthday. As someone who has severe childhood trauma and becomes a total mess on my birthday, i relate quite well. Kind of realising that perhaps only people with CPTSD relate well to the video, instead of like how every human relates to feeling sad or whatever. The beginning scene is when she is a little kid, her room is like that of a little kid and also the way she behaves. Thats when she first realised that things were falling apart, and last scene is her as an idol/adult, she is used to it and isnt surprised anymore and kind of just lets it happen nowadays. Those flashbacks of her with friends is her outward appearance of her being happy and okay but internally she is a mess. Matryoshka doll represents how she has multiple shells or shields of herself that make her seem okay to people, but deep inside she has an old and fucked up matryoshka doll, representing how both 1. she got fucked up when she was her smallest version 2. how that version of hers got sheltered and covered up by older and bigger versions of her. She got good at covering it up but its still there and wrecks havoc inside her.

[@DameBau]

Killing Me is a special comeback for me as a Byulharang (chungha fan). Chungha has mentioned that she participated a lot in the lyrics, album details, and overall concept/message this time around. Additionally, she wanted to try something new with the MV, hence why she is acting and there are no choreo scenes. The Russian dolls, to me, represent Chungha’s inner self. With each doll, she’s revealing a new layer of her thoughts and worries. Chungha works tremendously hard and is a perfectionist. I remember her sharing some of her hardships on Running Girls with Hani, Sunmi, Chuu, and Yooa. The preparation for her album Querencia and the pandemic have been particularly hard for various reasons. At the end of the MV, she steps on the last doll which is her letting go and releasing her self from the trap she placed on herself. Chungha has mentioned that Killing Me is a healing song. Although, this isn’t my favorite single of hers, it is a special one.

[@samiralae9739]

The moment she was going to blow the candle you see her stop and go fetch the box with the Matryoshka she's basically reminded of an old repressed memory of her former friends so she kind of finally delves into this memory and once she unlocks that memory the bad and negative feelings flood in making her life worse because she just cannot let go of the past that is haunting her.

[@samiralae9739]

It's just a commentary on how doing certain things that you used to do with other people in the past that you are no longer friends with or no longer in the relationship with will unlock some feelings and some memories that you thought you had let go of which weill just hunt you for either a brief or a long moment making you reminisce on the past which can be really painful.

[@emanueldornelles3177]

I wonder if there are references for Netflix's Russian Doll. I mean, we have a Russian doll, a birthday, a dark twist... It really was a rollercoaster.

[@エレス-n5o]

I took the meaning of the lyrics as if she was talking about quarantine and being away from her friends, specifically I.O.I. She’s tired of being “Stuck with you”, she’s talking to herself, she hates being alone. She isn’t killing herself in the lyrics (that would be to graphic) but her Criticism from herself is killing her. “I wish we could go back to the future we had”. She’s saying she wants to do these past three years again without Covid, orrrrr she wants to do the past four years with I.O.I

[@ShadowKymera]

My interpretation of the MV is that 29th is the day of some big event (also the day when the song was released). She was supposed to celebrate it as usual by blowing out the candle, but instead she goes to check the present, the matrioshka (her memories or a deeper part of herself). When she opens one, she starts reminiscing her past and remembering how hurt she actually is. Each doll is a deeper layer, progressively more damaged. The final scenario (the one where she has the blonde hair) is the one where she decides to not celebrate the date at all (cake to the ground intentionally) and recognize her damaged self, contrasting with the first ones (and the corridor scene) where she looks scared and quivering in corners

[@micklefox]

I have really been enjoying her music. Wonderful artist! Every time I listen to this song I get teary eyed.

[@초코라떼냐옹]

맞아맞아

[@jinnah6524]

I thought that the matryoshka dolls were representing Chungha diving deeper into her mental state. The more she opens the dolls, the messier her surroundings become. But for the last opening of the doll, it’s not an outside factor that’s shaking things up, it’s Chungha herself. Perhaps an allusion to the first few stages of grief, Denial, Pain/Guilt, Anger and Depression. Maybe the tunnel is a reference to “light at the end of the tunnel”, or the final stages in the cycle of grief, Acceptance and Hope. Like, in the first scene, where she’s all alone, seems like Denial. That she’s fine without her friends. The second seems like Guilt and Pain, with Chungha closing in on herself and scrunching up, as if to protect herself. The last bit is anger, where she goes off breaking things, going on a rampage. The lyrics also reflect this. One of the first lines Chungha sings is “문을 닫고 맘을 닫고”, or close the door, close my heart. She seems to be turning away from the problems that’s causing her to hide. Might be a fight between her and her friends, a messy breakup, it’s unclear at this point. What is clear though, is that she’s looking for something. She’s not completely lost in her grief. There’s mentions of chasing after something, like the reference to hide and seek, “유희” (another way of saying game in Korean, had to look it up because despite being Korean myself, thank god for Naver and Google), missing a faded memory, “어딜 가는지” (where are you going) and the aforementioned tunnel. The ‘acceptance’ part of the grief cycle. Maybe the thing she’s looking for is herself, or her sanity/mental health. In hindsight, Killing Me almost seems like Ga-In’s Carnival. Maybe it’s the ‘Let me go’ parts, and the imagery of walking towards the light in the 3rd chorus. … I did not realize that I went on a ramble. Whoops. Eh, at least I skipped out doing my literature homework for now.

[@sapphron17]

I think this video concept could actually be about personal change through time? The russian dolls being taken apart could be some sort of representation of going back through the memories of her old selves; as each one is opened (by her own hands) her world begins to shake and fall apart- I'm not sure if the quick cuts between partying and being stuck in the room shows that she misses being in the party/happy atmosphere or if she looks back on those times and regrets them. I think the reoccurrence of the birthday cake and birthday party in each scene basically is about progressing through life, and the happiness of the party and being surrounded by loved ones to celebrate, and then the fear of getting older and having to move on through life into more of the unknown. Maybe the video is meant to be a mesh of these concepts to portray the uncertainty and pain of growing, and the dichotomy of the birthday celebration with that existential fear. Though, I don't know any of the lyrics and I've only watched the video once but hey, it's an option!

[@benedictdelapena2681]

The doll represents herself, the more she goes deep on understanding herself the more she know she's not okay. Every time she took off the layers of the doll the video shift to a more chaotic scene. The last doll she that she stepped on means that she don't want to know more because she knows how deeply devastated she is.

[@lu_cas11]

Does anyone else also thinks that this song is KINDA similar to seventeen's heaven's cloud?

[@lu_cas11]

Sorry for ruining this song for yall .. 😆😆

[@leedokyeomsvt]

it does! gimme your love cloud hahhaha

[@zoehunzinger5746]

Omg yeah definitely !! I thought I was the only one hearing it

[@ysarns]

yup it reminds me of heaven's cloud too

[@claire4654]

now that you mentioned it..... ooof yea

[@k-pop4137]

Chungha is masterpiece

[@Alex-ge2qt]

I've waiting for this

[@Pandas_are_dumb]

The Russian dolls are a metaphor for the different layers of Chungha’s personality. During lockdown and covid isolation she was forced to face herself and discover that she’s not okay (the different, deeper personality hidden). Chungha wrote and produced this song, she was heavily involved in the creative process of making everything.

[@herrjemeneh368]

I don't know whats going on, every time I here this song I get goosebumps in like the first 30 seconds

[@manviverma8335]

Hi @FormofTherapy PD !! Just wanted to share what I perceive the "Russian Dolls" are about and since you seem to be interested in knowing about the same. I feel that the dolls represent simply, memories. When the MV starts, she is not really sad, not necessarily happy but not sad either. But the day reminds her of warm memories of the past. The thing with memories is that, "You cannot stop once you start going down the memory lane, especially with bad ones, one memory leads to another just like the "Russian Dolls"". And each successive one hurts more than the other and you get stuck in a zone. You get out of it either by external stimulus like friends, nature, good music or you just surrender and let it all subside naturally, bearing the pain by yourself. In this case, she does not seem to have anybody and hence, taking the beating by herself. 😶 Love your reactions btw !!

[@daniiconde]

From my point of view that Russian doll represents bad news and every time she took out one of those dolls it added yet another layer of misery. But somehow it looked like she couldn't stop, she needed to get to the end of it. Then, she got to the last one and it felt liberating. This might be representing too the steps that you go through when you go through a friendship breakdown.

[@harukaryuusei6124]

Just want to mention that Chungha got COVID last year and her first studio album got delayed. I interpret the line "I miss the future so bad. I wish that we could go back." as a description relating to COVID as well. It's like she (and all of us) really want a non-COVID future to come soon and we missed the pre-COVID time so much. The song and the MV make me quite emotional probably because I can relate to the scenario that you must try to collect yourself every day during this COVID era where everyone is under great pressure.

[@elisaalimberti4722]

Chungha!!!!!!

[@Chrestomanci94]

you can definitely tell this song was mixed by Ingrid Studio - it reminds me so much of Heaven's Cloud by SVT and Ingrid Studio works a LOT with seventeen. i love killing me and heaven's cloud being sibling songs

[@swimmerboy172]

The russian dolls (Matryoshka doll) I could see as a reference or metaphor to the lyrics "repeatedly stuck with you" and "It's killing me, killing me; Let go of mе now" and "Let me be free". These dolls are literally suffocating each other, stuck on each other and can not really "live" as a person/doll until they are separated and let go of each other.

[@fawziefuxia]

idk why but the way you said she's "hanging out with this cake" (6:07) was hilarious HAHAHA like as if the cake was her only friend :')

[@BoosBucketHat]

I think the Russian dolls represent her memories and each time she opens a layer of the dolls her memories haunt her. That's why at the end she steps on it. If you look close you'll notice that each time she unwraps a layer chaos breaks lose

[@oli9432]

chung ha underrated af

[@lh9476]

I think the russian dolls are meant to represent herself..On the outer most part she seems happy and content but when she opens up the outer case it reveals her inner self,who is not as cheery and carefree as she pretends to be but instead she is struggling and miserable,trying her best to live up to people's expectations and criticisms.Although she looks happy,she is dealing with those negative feelings in her mind.

[@panda_xoxo6595]

I took the russian doll as a representation of the layers we put on to cover ourselves from others, how we put on different faces in order to blend in when in reality we are the small damaged doll on the inside, and we dont want others to see that. Even in one of the party scenes, while a version of her was dancing and happy, another cut showed her sitting in the couch looking at everyone around being happy but truly she was not? and then the after party she was still left alone because she doesn't let anyone actually see her in that vulnerable state.

[@rendoesntexist]

wow now that i know a little more about the lyrics i can relate to some level and it made me tear up

[@tahanizx]

I have two interpretations of the song and I think the first one is correct 1- She had a birthday cake in the beginning so I concluded that she means, that the more she try to live her life the more she suffers and is damaged by it, "meaning the traumas that can happen to us in our lives" 2- It's how your relationship with someone can destroy your life, and the more you try to go on with it and go deeper into it, the more you will be harmed Sorry for my bad english

[@RinnesKaguya]

idk why but as russian I was so surprised to see matryoshka in the MV haha the interpretation of matryoshka as herself is a great idea

[@zulal118]

i think it’s about the process of her becoming herself. she’s mentioned she’d hated her present self and the ‘miss the future so bad’ part refers to it, then ‘i wish we could go back’ comes along which is complicated. it’s like she hates that self of her but also that’s a part of her so she can’t leave it out, eventually her scars heal themselves (i say that cz she also said killing me is a healing song) -the tunnel seems endless and hard to go with, kinda like every time she go through/ finds out smh it hurts somehow (the more russian doll opens up the more messed up thing get)... ik it’s all messy, may seem like doesnt make sense, but its 3.46am and cant really make up my mind but yeah

[@jordyyybuff]

i feel the more she reveals another russian doll = to another layer she reveals from herself, but revealing that comes with consequences and sometimes it’s out of her control and i feel it’s hauntingly beautiful, because i can relate. you want to be yourself but you’re not ready for the world to see it. she tries to put up her best fight but it comes with honesty and vulnerability but it deteriorates her and her hope for the future. “i miss the future so bad, i wish that we could go back”

[@33llie]

the sound of this song really reminds me of female british artist gabrielle aplin. the instrumental, chungha's delivery, the vocal effects all sound very similar to a lot of gabrielle's songs.

[@ДюсеноваАсем]

Chungha really the best, amazing girl!♡♡♡

[@autumneagle]

Someone mentioned in another reaction that she said she wrote this about her feelings regarding COVID and life now vs how it was before and also how we can be so focused on the past and the future while the present just kinda sucks.

[@SirCastic17]

Idk why she didnt promore this as much as her other titles. It's my fav Chungha song as well. She experiments a lot, only a matter before she reached edm and i loved it

[@GoldenPerception]

“In this part here, where she’s hanging out with this cake” idk why that made me laugh so much but it did 😅

[@animefean1]

The doll is supposed to be directly linked with her i think , how i see it is that some bad events/things keep happening to her almost like on repeat (like a russian doll ,every time u open it theres another inside, it keeps going , also my theory that her and the doll are linked is cuz when the dolls were in the bathtub in water she was suffocating/grasping for air) but at the final scene before she opens the last doll she looks prepared and starts braking things before the doll can break everything which i think is her being ready to break this endless loop of bad thing that are happening to her , and she steps on the doll braking it (which is her breaking free and changing her path, for the better)

[@juji4390]

I want to know more stories that the music video try to tell the audience either. I kept hearing PD said what happened 🤣

[@halododo3176]

i think the russian dolls are represent to netflix movie calls "russian doll" there's a girl in the movie who always dies many times in birthday party, and the girl tries to get out from the same death ending and start doing messy things.. It's represent it when chungha open the russian dolls and her look got messy. In the end chungha refuses to open the russian dolls, and cracks the doll..

[@cheeseburger7918]

my guess is that the matryoshkas respresent her mind/soul because its often said that our mind has many layers. a lot of the times we bury trauma or pain in these layers but never actually work them out. once we open these layers we are confronted by the trauma and everything falls apart again

[@MandaChief]

The Russian Rolls definitely represent layers of herself. The more she opens them up, the further back into the past she sees and the more messy, broken, and damaged she gets. The bad memories is why at the end we see her current day self has also become a mess. We even see a flash of this in a mirror to show her bad memories have travelled across to the present day.