Found Out My Boyfriend Was Cheating So I Left and Never Told Him I Was Pregnant. Now...

Found Out My Boyfriend Was Cheating So I Left and Never Told Him I Was Pregnant. Now 7 Years Later He Showed Up at My Door Demanding Full Custody of Our Son.
#redditrelationship #redditupdate

[@theanominous]

All that OP’s mother had on her mind was money, not for her daughter or grandson’s mental health.

[@gostavoadolfos2023]

You have a point and the father was more motivated by the fact his wife cannot give him kids. Still you can have ill intentions for a good cause.

[@gwenrichard7507]

OPs mother waited until they both were financially stable. I'd be disgusted if my daughter Kidnapped a child had me help raise it and then told be to never tell the father for 7 years. You can use the timing aginst her or in her favor. What would be a good time to introduce the father to the child? Don't talk about a bad mental state and not mention the kid was curious about having a father in his life. Fatherlessness is the leading cause of homelessness, child abuse, addiction, crime, poverty, and more fatherlessness.

[@theanominous]

@@gwenrichard7507 OP didn’t kidnap a child that she never knew she was pregnant with. Also having a father doesn’t mean that kid will turn out alright because why would you want your kid to look up to a cheater and who even threatened to take a boy from his mother? If OP’s ex and wife could have kids, he wouldn’t even bother tracking OP down. There are other ways that a boy can have a positive masculine role-model like an uncle or a grandfather.

[@STAYATINYARMYSIN]

@@gwenrichard7507I’m so tired of this “no fathers in the house lead to blah blah blah” that’s so fuckin dumb it’s not even funny. There are people who grow up in a two parent household that are absolutely the worst people to be around , disrespectful , addicts and homeless as well they do the same and turn out just like kids from a “fatherless” home. Wether it’s a single household or a two parent household has no correlation to how kids will turn out it’s about how you raise/teach them.

[@Only1199]

@@gwenrichard7507 Fatherlessness is not the leading cause of homelessness, child abuse, addiction, crime, poverty, and more fatherlessness.

[@christophernoble76]

why on earth do people who cheat and get caught always want to go back to the person who left? like, you didn't care until you got caught

[@TheAstyanii]

Some cheat because they lack critical thinking. When consequences come knocking, they think they can bail enough water out of the sunk ship to make it float once more. Others cheat because it's a power/control fantasy for them. This means any disruption to the status quo will be actively resisted since it means their power/control is at risk. These two groups tend to be the ones that try to fix the relationship after cheating and getting caught. The loveless ones tend to break it off without any issue.

[@bribrimon348]

@@vogue_paris3106 Even though he cheated and then married that ex.

[@KageKobushi]

You say that, but my friend's family has ridiculous drama like this. It's a freaking train wreck that makes me horrified to realize that more of these than I want to believe are probably real.

[@noydbnoydb9402]

He didn't care about her, he cared about his son

[@vikafigol3397]

​​@@MrArielK you won't believe me, but, like, drama can happen in real life too. And there is stories without that much drama too. Yeah, it's hard to accept, but it's true. And even if this is fake, do you really thinks, that over 8 billiom peoples, probably over 9 for these past decades, wouldn't come up with something like this? This story isn't some impossible shit, this is completely possible, so all you do with your "It'S FaKe" comments is just portrait yourself as a child, who have nothing more to do, than spam similiar comments under every reddit story video.

[@tomieclone7278]

Tbh I can see where op is coming from, a guy who hadn't committed to her wouldn't commit to a baby. If the kid and op are well there wasn't really a need for all this drama

[@alorarhodes1568]

Yeah. Also he hates her. He's told other people he hates her. Why should she take that risk? Leaving her baby, helpless, small, and oh so very fragile, in the hands of someone who hates her? I wouldn't take that risk.

[@Seek1878]

That makes no sense. People can be lousy spouses/partners but decent parents. He had a right to know.

[@R3udab3gaSindicate]

@@Seek1878you’re right. Everyone’s responses excuse the elephant in the room. She kept his child a secret from him. Even if she felt he was a danger to their child there was a whole plethora of ways she could’ve went about things. Honestly ESH. But op is definitely in the wrong for alienation at the least.

[@kossettereaditte7552]

No, not giving a person the chance to be a parent AT ALL is worse than cheating. Shes being spiteful and childish. Even if cheating is messed up

[@nakeidacassim7696]

Women like you and OP need to get over yourselves. Just because a man doesn't want to commit to you doesn't mean he won't commit to or love his baby. Far too many women are disgusting and use their children as pawns to hurt a man who hurt them... all that does is make them shitty mothers. You don't get to deprive a child of his/her father just because the man hurt you. Your child is a person in his/her own right, he/she is not your property to do with as you please. You have a duty to always do what's best for that child, not what works for your selfish desires. What this woman did was despicable and disturbing. She is wildly entitled and delusional. Her ex and his wife are taking her shit because they feel guilty about the past. I feel sorry for this child because his mother is insanely selfish even at his expense and she will continue to be this way because she doesn't see her moral decay. She also doesn't love her son. You can be selfish or you can be a parent but you can't be both. A parent is a dedicated nurturer and that requires immense love and consideration, two things this OP clearly lacks. I have no respect or tolerance for cheaters but you cannot deprive them of their children if they love and respect their kids.

[@gabbylee3385]

He hated her, and he would've hated her for being pregnant too. I would bet he only wants his son because his wife is sterile or something equally wild.

[@reezgaming1475]

Or he could just want to be in his sons life I mean that’s not a wild reason to try and reach out to someone who had your child without your knowledge and did everything they could to keep you from your child

[@dezya2212]

You read too many stories what is the chance he just a bum that wants to make his wife happy

[@Olimar92]

Or he wants to just be in the child's life after maturing, and is upset he was never told.

[@JacquelineGoldFish]

@@Olimar92 He can be upset all he wants He f*cked up. He was the one that cheated. I don’t care if he said he was young and dumb. Young and dumb people understand cheating is wrong because they try to hide because they know it’s wrong to cheat.

[@ephimerite]

@@reezgaming1475he cheated on her, if he loved ‘his’ child he’d love the mother of his child

[@pastelbee8125]

I will NEVER understand people who knows someone will absolutely hate something and they’ll go do it anyways and are confused when there’s consequences

[@HumanSamSite]

So why punish the child?

[@NiteStand]

​@@HumanSamSiteemotional trauma basically, OP is about the same age as her son mentally.

[@solomia5037]

@@HumanSamSitechild seems fine

[@kaijuteeth]

@@HumanSamSiteits not punishing the child when Op didnt know she was pregnant initially but also the kid is fine without the dad lmao

[@kaijuteeth]

@@NiteStandsilence incel . Op is more mature than youll ever be

[@NobodySpecsh]

her ex was going to pretend he never cheated until she brought it up at the custody meeting.

[@whitneymcclendon16]

I support OP and glad her parents are now divorced. The mom knew the rules but broke them. Your family and blood should come first. The moment she snitched to the enemy, she was one of them. So serves her right.

[@josecastro1452]

So you support men not paying child support for not wanting children??? You can have it both ways

[@whitneymcclendon16]

@josecastro1452 Op was fine without him or his money. She had their life set until he came to her doorstep. Many single moms get accustomed to raising children without the father, just like it's possible for single dads. She didn't feel the need to approach him at any point. He wasn't trustworthy anyway. She did good trying to protect herself and her son. So if he didn't want him cool. But unfortunately, he did because his wife he cheated on OP with didn't give him any kids. That's the trend with affair couples - to want to take more from their victims and justify their abuse to them.

[@josecastro1452]

@@whitneymcclendon16 it doesn't matter if she was fine or not... Still is his son and hi has the right to be his father. That's why the other guy left. Fathers are not second class citizens

[@shadowedpokefan331]

No one is saying he was a second class citizen but there was nothing stopping him from confronting op sooner or worse he might use the child as a bargaining chip my ex did that with my daughter he left me soon after getting me pregnant and only visited her I thought we could coparent until he saw I was playing dnd with a few of my coworkers he didn't like that I was friendly with others and threatened to take my daughter and claim me an unfit mother if I continued needless to say I removed his parental rights over a year ago

[@maxportellichadwick261]

⁠@@shadowedpokefan331yes there was something stopping him, its called ZERO CONTACT. He did try to reach out to her. He did try to talk to her. He did try to confront her. Op hid herself from him so he couldn’t reach her, so her mother told him where she was and that he had a son (the mother still broke her boundaries so isn’t excused). OP in this story decided how he was going to act, didnt even tell him he had a child, didn’t give him the chance to be a dad, and then was upset when she had consequences. Cheating is an awful thing, but this is whole different level of disgusting. I will also say that him going for full custody wasnt justified either, but i mean christ this woman is a POS.

[@Tallguyify]

Next time I get in trouble at work I'll make sure to clarify that what I did was "unethical, but not wrong"

[@noydbnoydb9402]

^This. She spent way too much time trying to justify being a morally bankrupt sack of sh-t

[@solomia5037]

i mean depends on what it is. is it against the established rules of the work place? or does it just make peoples feelings uncomfortable?

[@killshock360]

I do think it's kinda iffy that she didn't tell the ex about his son. But I think her lying to the current bf was the biggest issue that she did. Other than that, the ex and mother sucks for obvious reasons. And the bf just doesn't fit with her

[@solomia5037]

im amazed to see someone with opinions like yours considering all the moral posturing in the comments. i fully agree

[@_juju_jojo_]

Meh didn't really care bout the 2nd ex. Wasn't his place to comment and give his opinion unless she specifically asked for it. Especially since in the end, it worked out and hopefully stays that way. And hopefully, OP learned to not make impulsive decisions without thinking ahead

[@Crisfer05]

Well OP socks too, she only thinks about herself but cannot think about her son. He was a piece of 💩 for cheating on her but she is punishing her kid by not even giving them the opportunity to get to know each other even if her and the cheating ex cannot have a relationship.

[@sanddagger36]

the only thing wrong with not telling someone they have a kid is legality in court, but there are dozens of hookups that result in kids where the mom doesn't know who the dad is and the dad doesn't know he has a kid. The only difference here is she did know. So you are restricting her rights and giving more rights to less careful people just because she couldn't claim ignorance. If I were her I would've lied and said I had a hookup a week after I left and it was always possible the kid wasn't his, that way I'd have plausible deniability. As long as she never sought child support, there is no reason to claim a woman has to do anything to get in touch with her child's parent. On the other hand, I believe if you do not inform the father the moment you find out you are pregnant, you forfeit all rights to child support forever. Additionally if the father wants to terminate and is willing to pay for the procedure, and you deny him the option, then again you forfeit all rights to child support.

[@oddball9053]

The dad really shoulve talked to her first instead of trying to take the child away from their mother. Plus he likely would've had to prove her unfit as a parent to get full custody.

[@Seek1878]

But OP took the child away from its father without talking, that's okay?

[@acephaedramusic9588]

​@@Seek1878nobody says that's ok but it's not quite the same as ripping a 7yo away from the only parent he's ever known. Also dude didn't even wanna commit to marriage with her.

[@Seek1878]

@@acephaedramusic9588 Not how custody works in courts. It would start with visits and timed custody. And its OP's fault he doesn't know his own father. People can be parents without bing married.

[@acephaedramusic9588]

@@Seek1878 I know that's not how custody works. I still think ripping a child that young away from its mother and sole caretaker would be more than cruel. And I meant that I also understand why she didn't say anything even tho it was wrong to do. He didn't want to commit. I had a friend do a similar thing because her baby daddy is a deadbeat stoner. He found out and ever since, he has caused their little girl nothing but heartbreak. The fact that OPs baby daddy didn't even wanna start out with visits shows that he was not thinking about the child's wellbeing first and foremost.

[@Seek1878]

@@acephaedramusic9588 Again, no one is being "ripped away." He didn't want to commit to OP but that doesn't mean he can't commit to his child. OP's ex is hurt his child was stolen from him.

[@claireg3994]

She should have told him and made it clear that she wasnt asking for anything from him and let him make the choice to walk away if thats what he wanted. My daughters father cheated on me and i cant stand the little weasel, but im civil to him for the sake of being fair for my daughter. As she gets older, its her choice whether to keep a relationship with him or not. Even over the last 5 years where he has paid 0 towards her, i have never stood in between them

[@user-hy9sq9nn9q]

Thats because ur a doormat😂😂

[@umm3766]

personally i'd rather abort then be forced have cheater horrible person as in my child life as a "father"

[@Bluewolf09]

@@umm3766 Been my thought this entire time. I wont give OP any shit, she did what she thought was best, and even I wouldn't want that cheating bastard near my child, in case they gave them the same ideas and made them think it was okay. However, I would never want to raise a child alone if I ever wanted to have one.

[@latlats]

Tbf, Op was high off the emotions of just getting away. And then there is that fear of letting Zack back in her life because of the baby. If he could lie to her face while they were in a 'healthy relationship' then what else could he do? She doesn't seem to be the confrontational type so getting away was an option. Maybe what she could have done was contact a lawyer first to make sure he couldn't take the baby away, then talk to him. At some point she would have to bite the bullet should he have chosen to be a father to Jack. But 7 years....ouch. But it was good that they came to a peaceful arrangement. A good ending in a situation that could have turned nasty and sour.

[@noydbnoydb9402]

^This. And you did that because you're not selfish, because you're able to put love for your child ahead of your own feelings.

[@waves2378]

She did the right thing by not telling him about Jack. He didn’t care enough about her to stay loyal, while she did remain loyal to him. This loyalty wouldn’t have just extended to her, but any kids as well. Parents that cheat on their spouse don’t care about their spouse, or their kids enough to remain loyal to them. Honestly, if I found out I was being cheated on by someone I had a kid with, I would be fighting for full custody. This may sound like it is out of spite, and while it would be to a small degree, I would also do so because I don’t think he would be a good influence on any of his kids. I even saw another post like this. A man divorced his wife after she cheated on him, and then found out their daughter was cheating on her own boyfriend.

[@Seek1878]

No, she didn't. He had a right to know. People can be lousy as partners but good parents.

[@CanadianGreekhoplite]

I get her decision and don't even blame her. Her Ex brought this upon himself, he stepped out of the relationship and proved he wasn't a good man or someone she could trust. Not to mention she had already moved away. This is why you don't cheat, you don't lose out on 7 years of your kids life, you don't miss his first steps, his first words 100% his own fault.

[@nteladiekumpuna3647]

No hiding a child is simply not okay

[@unitcharles8278]

Somehow in the end. People who suppose to be a biggest enemy turn out to be kinda decent people(we not gonna talk about cheating part) and op biggest ally like her mom turn to be biggest traitor.

[@anq4274]

Oh, no they're not decent, they are still a huge pile of shit, they're using the poor little boy as a consolation prize just because they don't have children of their own.

[@roabarton7962]

Mama seen money so she betrayed her daughter hoping to get some. Such a gold digger.

[@publictoilets527]

I agree with op leaving but I don’t agree with not telling him about his son bc she said she knew he’d want to be apart of his life so she knew he would be a father to him

[@tothewonder6248]

Listen, I sort of get it. He showed himself to be untrustworthy and you need someone you can trust to be a co parent. I don't know that I would have done all of this, but I wouldn't want a cheater raising my son either.

[@natebaxter9551]

So just screw the kid, right?

[@darkknight3037]

that aint just ur son my boy

[@henrybrekk4765]

Ye deprive the kid of a father for your own selfish reasons, she proved They both are assholes and deserve eachother.

[@YouArentSlick]

It’s not about what you want, it’s about what the kid needs. He probably would have been better off with a father in his life, that’s a huge decision to make on behalf of your child and they might resent her if they learn the truth later

[@adenharned1404]

@@henrybrekk4765 Oh boo hoo! A cheating asshole doesn't get to become bad father figure for a kid. How terrible and selfish of that mother to come to the conclusion that her cheating boyfriend who makes up shit about her to get pity sex from other women, would be bad father and co-parent. What a stretch of the imaginations!

[@lubnasami511]

I'm glad it worked out well at the end for everyone.

[@gwenrichard7507]

Meanwhile the mom and boyfriend who were the only good people in this story: 🥶🥶

[@lubnasami511]

@@gwenrichard7507 I wouldn't say there is anyone in the story in the right, put at least they are putting their past behind them for the sake of their kid.

[@Traumatic_Jr]

@@gwenrichard7507 the mother went behind her daughters back when she knew how much zach her hurt her. how would you feel if someone you trusted went behind your back and contacted someone who you loved so much that cheated on you? not only that bout the mom was a control freak so there is no way she was in the right period, she only contacted him because he was promoted to vice president, so she clearly was only thinking about money too. if anything i believe the son jack is the only good person in this story >:D

[@lalvarez5151]

​@TraumatizedLost the Op legit stole the ex's kid. The right thing to do was for the mom to tell him where his kid was. It's not like if the ex was abusive or anything and she had to hide for her safety. The kid is legally half his

[@lubnasami511]

@@lalvarez5151 true but the past can't be changed. The only thing that matters now is that the parents get to put their deference aside and take accountability and let the kid have the love the he deserves from both of them.

[@Zebrastreifen77]

wow thats some ex from hell

[@Zebrastreifen77]

and her mother is even worse. :((

[@quadryjohnson2099]

She took his child from him. It was logical how he'd react

[@Zebrastreifen77]

screw the cheating him, he doesnt deserve a son@@quadryjohnson2099

[@idoonotkno894]

they both from hell 😂

[@_juju_jojo_]

⁠@@quadryjohnson2099her child* Not everyone deserves to be a parent

[@bearsong8486]

Another shock! He can’t get custody since he has to prove paternity first. Also, he hasn’t paid shit so no, that’s not how the court works.

[@CherryGryffon]

He could, actually. In all custody cases a DNA test is the FIRST thing ordered, to prove paternity. My dad was on my BC, involved in my life, and a constant presence even helping my mom have housing and paying for unrelated siblings' care; And yet when they went to get child support done on the books, to help with taxes for them, a paternity test was STILL done on us. We looked absolutely identical, too, there was 0 chance of it not being the case.

[@CherryGryffon]

And, since she alienated his right to parent without his consent or knowledge, he absolutely could have sued her for that depending on the state. He lost 7 years of his own son's life because she wanted to be selfish and petty, so, yeah, he had a legal case IF he had wanted to pursue it. He was a cheater, she was a liar and a manipulator.

[@jimmyboe8246]

he hasn't paid shit cuz he was not aware he was a father.. Use your brain dude O_o

[@anq4274]

@@CherryGryffon He was the one in the wrong, cheat involves lying and manipulation, the girl did what she did only for selfpreservation she didn't think in "oh, I'm pregnant, I'm gonna ghost the dad because he cheated".

[@Detsubkrod]

​@@anq4274she said he wouldve wanted to be a father but she didn't want him to because what he did.

[@weneedcookies4756]

Yall genuinely believe that he would be a good father nah he wouldnt

[@CatCatCaat]

That’s the thing, we would never know or him to be honest

[@clicksclacks]

Considering it took weeks for him to decide to put his kid's well being ahead of his personal grievances which was something OP refused to do for 7 damned years, something tells me he's already the better parent.

[@kokonautus5343]

@clicksclacks Yeah and from the way she broke off her relations with her current boyfriend because he was in every way morally right should tell us quite a bit about op as well.

[@eyez409]

🤷🏿‍♀️ I'm all for op up and going and keeping her kid tbh. Maybe I'm projecting bc my parents had that dynamic then got together and made each other's lives (and mine hell), the cons of staying were bigger than the pros. That man was unreliable. In her shoes, I'd have an abortion and moved on because being bound to a man like that would be hell OP's mom is the real villian in the story because she definitely should've talked to OP and either worked on convincing her or if she was determined to be messy, give her an ultimatum. Now she's lost her daughter and grandson playing around like that OP never said that her son would never know about the dad, and she never lied to him either. This is the best case scenario and I'm glad they worked out a better resolution to all of this

[@shuichisaiharasimp]

Exactly. Just because you have 2 parents doesnt mean your life is going to be all sunshine and rainbows. That kid was probably better off without him, when hes of age, he can go search for him if he wants to, I agree with op at least on that.

[@5t4lk3r00]

@eyez409 I lost the OP where she said that she will only listen to the comments praising her choices and not the ones that question her unmoral decision. Poor kid, really.

[@user-hy9sq9nn9q]

@@5t4lk3r00poor kid?? Actually no he would be one with his father there and the girlfriend hating his son👋🏻👋🏻🙃🙃

[@daveo1808]

Except for the fact that it isn't her kid, it's their kid. Imagine what would happen if he kidnapped the child from OP, that's exactly what she did to him

[@Autobot032]

@@shuichisaiharasimp, BINGO. I've seen kids in broken homes and it's 50/50 on what you're gonna get. I've seen wonderful kids become wonderful people and not follow in their parents' footsteps. I've seen wonderful kids become the same, or worse, than the parent that caused all of the heartache. Staying together when the love isn't there is only going to make it worse. It damages kids far more than people realize. They get to watch the parents hate one another, then get divorced when it's all said and done, and see that the hate and fighting was all for naught. I'm not a proponent of divorce, I think people should try their best to work through it, but when they absolutely can't, forcing them all to stay together is a nightmare scenario and it does nothing but destroy at that point.

[@HawkAnimation]

The cheating was horrible, but it doesn’t give her the right to steal away Zack’s right to be a father

[@MimosaRose]

I don’t blame Mike, she lied about the father of her son and didn’t give the ex an opportunity to be involved her her son’s life. He is likely thinking she could do the same to him.

[@Beary0815]

These comments quite literally surprise me on how much some people don’t use their brains or ears 🤷🏽‍♀️☠️

[@NiteStand]

Based on that emoji I'm going to assume you're a woman and say id expect nothing less from people like yourself who think like children.

[@Lykosas]

I don't blame OP for this course of action. It would be easy to rationalize that bio dad would not want any part of this on account of cheating and lack of commitment. "wanting something casual" person is not a good preface for a long-term role model dad. But pragmatically I believe OP should've had an abortion and moved on.

[@STAYATINYARMYSIN]

Just because he cheated she should have an abortion?? That’s not the baby’s fault and it’s a good thing OP loved and wanted her child but I do agree that she made the right choice , he is not someone to be trusted and lies straight to someone’s face without even flinching.

[@Lykosas]

@@STAYATINYARMYSIN So she could start over and find someone good for her and have children with them instead of alone. My view on abortion is much more practical, due to my own experience of being born somewhat bad heart and I had better than most, but still I wouldn't want a kid to be born and be subjected to pain from their own body or emotional due to a lack of reliable household.

[@deadworld953]

​@@Lykosas That is eugenics. You are arguing in favor of eugenics.

[@Lykosas]

@@deadworld953 If wanting my kid not to feel the heart pains I did is eugenics, then so be it. Would really depend if the same condition could be discovered early in the pregnancy.

[@charondusk5608]

@@deadworld953 That is not eugenics, lmao. It would be classed as eugenics if they'd decided to have an abortion because the kid had the wrong skin colour from what the parents what the parents considered "Ideal". Terminating the pregnancy because the kid would likely have devastating health problems is NOT eugenics. Let's put it into something I think even your narrow mind could understand: A couple, after trying for months and months, finally fall pregnant, only to be told at a scan that the baby has deformities that means, IF it is born alive, it likely will not make it past a year, and it will be in constant agony the whole time. They decide, heartbroken, that it would be unfair to put the child through such unnecessary suffering and thus terminate. Is that still eugenics to you? Because if you think it's better for a child to be born, only to face a life of pain and misery, then there's something very wrong with you.

[@TheWilliamsMafiaFamily]

okay listen in other situations, you can always go back. but in this one, there's no going back and the only thing you're gonna get is a restraining order or court case. If you're lucky anyways.

[@gostavoadolfos2023]

He is lucky she didn't accuse his of domestic abuse. The way she disappeared without notice and living in hiding for 7 years would ve made a solid case in court. He would ve lost his right to any visitations and his job from the scandal.

[@jedimasters1462]

​@@gostavoadolfos2023Not really. It would be extremely questionable against her because she has absolutely no proof, no doctor visits, no photos, no strange behavior, nothing. Then there is the fact that it's 7 years later (probably closer to 8 since the kid is 7) and he's now wanting custody of their son that she didn't even tell him about for years. If she accused him of domestic abuse now, the courts would only see it as a lie to keep him away from their son, especially since too many women pull that cared and men have to spend years trying to fix everything, even after it was fully proven that the woman lied. It's not that easy to claim domestic abuse anymore, especially when she didn't even tell those helping her that it was due to abuse. She told them that it was because of cheating. Even if he had abused her at some point, it's going to be near impossible to prove it now and prevent him from getting any kind of custody of the son.

[@martin99110]

@@gostavoadolfos2023so make fake accusations 😂 Who do you think told that person about his son? Her own mom. You don’t think her mom won’t back up him up or he has texts?

[@gostavoadolfos2023]

@@martin99110 she can use the recent NC with her mom as argument against her testimony. I am jot talking about criminal charges but using the accusations in custody battle. A family judge won't change something that worked for 7 years and risk the life of a mother. In my country 2 thousands ex wife ex gf commit suicide from the harassment of the abusive ex.

[@fernybern]

so many immature people, she did do wrong by not telling her ex about their son... that is a horrible thing to do and she shouldnt be the one to decide if her son has a father or not cause she in no way can understand the pros and cons of the child having father. She literally says it multiple times that she did it as revenge !!! That is gross and she kept doing it for the better part of a decade for herself what a POS and she constantly refers to the choice as about her her son, weak excuses easy to see with how she talks and she was forced to share custody but kept down playing it. She is not all there

[@bcatbb2896]

ya, it was so obvious some of the updates she made were being downplayed to make herself look better. like the court ruling likely didnt look good on her so she made a deal to let the ex in and tried to spin it like she was winning

[@kumikor3392]

Everyone is delusional if they think Zach would've been a good man AND father when he was still immature enough to complain that his girlfriend loved him. 😂 He ran away AS SOON as she mentioned marriage. A baby??? Yeah, he would've wanted her to abort Jack. While what she did was hurtful, she wasn't wrong. At least Jack gets to meet a version of his father who is loving and nice to him and his mom. Happy they're all getting along, and that OP really wants this to work out. Good riddance to the boyfriend who wanted her to turn over custody. I think he never liked Jack

[@bcatbb2896]

are you stupid? just because someone is a bad partner doesnt make them a bad parent i actually live next to a neighbor that is a total piece of shit for a husband yet he treats his children with everything he has. putting the kid through school and waking up at 6 to do so throughout gradeschool until they can walk on their own.

[@cww2490]

OP doesn't seem to realize her immaturity in running away from her problems and thinking this was never going to be a problem. If the dad didn't find out I'm sure in 10 or 20 years we would be seeing a reddit post of the son who found out his mother's lies. I've seen many post like that and most don't have the mother's looking good by the end. Not unless the father was actually abusive. And no cheating doesn't count. The boyfriend was fortunate to learn what kind of woman OP was early on. I'm sure he thought OP could and would do the same to him if they broke up or had a big fight. OP not even realizing this is why his opinion of OP grew so low over time says a lot. In her next relationship I'm certain she's going to be surprised and get defensive when the man becomes wary of her for her past actions. The dad sucks and came at OP too hard when he should have been thinking of his son, but glad he realized this in time. OP's parents and their divorce. Seems like the final straw in their relationship, but she shouldn't feel happy and think her dad has her back because she's right. Its because shes his daughter and had a low opinion of the father for the cheating.

[@MrArielK]

Story is fake

[@jaylarkin4331]

Yall so goofy in these comments.

[@shuichisaiharasimp]

Im still trying to understand how some people are defending the ex, saying he was excluded from his sons life. Like??It was his actions that put him in that position in the first place. If that thing cheated on her just because she wanted to discuss marriage, in what world do these people think he would take care of the kid??

[@Blacklla]

​@shuichisaiharasimp womp womp people cheat. It sucks but it happens. Fathers deserve a right to be in their kids life as long as they aren't abusive. Just cuz mommy got hurt that daddy didn't want her doesn't mean he doesn't want his child.

[@loveyourwaifu1035]

@@Blacklla in my eyes cheating, atleast before the child is born, is basically the same as writing your parental rights away.

[@jaylarkin4331]

@@loveyourwaifu1035 you're proving my point

[@jaylarkin4331]

@@shuichisaiharasimp well never know what kind of father the ex could have been because the choice was taken away from him. Cheating on that girl doesn't have anything to do with being a good father. And if it does, does that mean a man can't be a father if he's not with the kids mother?

[@weneedcookies4756]

I’m honestly worried for the kid because if he could cheat he might brainwash the kid into thinking that she the bad guy and that she cheated so I understand why she did it

[@stertrack520]

Op is questionable at worst in her descisions. But zack is just unreliable. If you cheat on purpose and lie about it. you cant expect to get trusted with anything in return. It is better to have one parent than two who cant stand each other. So i really believe Zack is bad news. He wants to take the kid away and do things his way. Does he dederve a chance to be a father ? Yes, but not like that. If zack want a chance with the kid he can just ask to meet him and not try force him out of his home.

[@FrutoseDeMorango]

You're talking like Zach isn't the literal father of the kid. He has every right to his kid and it doesn't matter that he cheated, she fucked up WAY MORE by doing this. This is the first time that I'm siding with the cheater because this woman is just crazy and entitled.

[@jedimasters1462]

I think Zach went full force because he knew op would go full force against him no matter what he did. Just by listening to even part of her first update, she's going to be extremely selfish and is trying to justify her decisions by going on-and-on about his cheating, even though that has nothing to do with his right to be a father. I don't condone cheating, yet I don't put it with being a parent.

[@NiteStand]

Man shut up. Such asinine reasoning. Yeah let me steal your child for 7 years because of a personal vendetta and then act like I didn't do anything to you or alienate your child from you.

[@NiteStand]

Men thinking like females is why the world shuts on you.

[@sirissac3799]

​@@FrutoseDeMorangoand OP has every right to her kid, Zachcan't have full custody

[@rockandroll547]

the ex boyfriend is 100% in the wrong for cheating, equally so trying to take full custody is equally in the wrong, However OP should have told him so at least that way the son would be able to have his birth father, OP wasnt wrong to abandon her boyfriend but keeping the child away was definitely wrong

[@umm3766]

why would you want a cheater for a father?

[@Olimar92]

I'd bet money the Ex wouldn't even want to parent. Guy became an ass after being asked about marriage, why would he be a father at that time?

[@1012.z]

@@umm3766how does being a cheater affect him being a father? The cheating was bad, but taking a kid away from his father because your feelings were hurt is beyond selfish

[@_juju_jojo_]

@@umm3766my same thought at first but in the grand scheme of things it's not that serious. Just cuz he was a shitty partner and a cheater doesn't mean he wouldn't have been a good father.

[@umm3766]

@@_juju_jojo_ personally a man who would mistreat the child mother literally the woman who birthed risked her own life to bring that kid in the world a man who would mistreat her cannot be a good father for the child themselves

[@wolfman3339]

I’m glad everything worked out for the kid and you realized that doesn’t matter how you feel or what going on between you two all that matters is how the kid feels

[@noydbnoydb9402]

^This. It's just sad he had to lose 7 years with his father because his mother was too busy wallowing in her hurt feelings to do what was best for him

[@Olimar92]

Don't act like Zach would have been a 100% Dad of the Year. The guy ran to his ex when his GF of 3yrs asked about marriage, and decided to lie to her and insult her to said ex. He wasn't going to be that good of a father, and Mom needs to be able to be around him. Babies don't fix relationships, and they don't change people magically.

[@kaijuteeth]

@@noydbnoydb9402zach literally already had a father figure in his life dude wouldve been 100% fine without the knowledge but also dude wasnt loyal to his gf, what makes you think he wouldve been loyal to family?

[@noydbnoydb9402]

@@kaijuteeth Zach...? That goes to show how much attention you paid to the story 🤣 And the fact that you guys don't understand a very simple concept that while cheating makes someone a crap person to be in a relationship with, it has nothing to do with how they'd behave as parents. A child is not a spouse.

[@kaijuteeth]

@@noydbnoydb9402 zach is literally the name OP gave the ex 😭😭😭 wtf are YOU on? you literally did not pay attention obviously. also cheating says a LOT about someones character so actually yeah it DOES effect the relationship with the child and how the child will view relationships. a child isnt a spouse but its on the same commitment dumbass, if a father is absent and lying in one relationship because of a fear of commitment, what makes you think he wont do it again?

[@devydev3112]

I completely understand where Mike is coming from. He's probably been stewing about it, wondering if she'd ever do something like that to him and if she'd ghost someone whose the father of her kid and never telling the dude, then whats to stop her from doing something like that with smaller things? I think id loose ny trust in that person too, especially if they were doubling down. Its one thing to know youve done something wrong and accepting responsibility but OP didn't do any of that untill after they all met with their lawyers present.

[@shortangel333]

Mike should only be affraid if he cheats on her.

[@CABRONZZ777]

@@shortangel333nah, someone doing this type of shit shows their morals and how vindictive they can get.

[@sweetclown4839]

Right, I feel sorry for Mike since he was made this bad guy but if the woman you’re dating has hid a child from their father, made steps to make sure he wouldn’t be able to reach out, and didn’t consider what was best for the child until she was forced to, I would also rethink my trust. My biggest grievance is that she let her son go without a father without evening trying to make that connection.

[@noydbnoydb9402]

My thoughts exactly. If she could do this once and justify it to herself, she could easily do it again. Mike dodged a bullet

[@noydbnoydb9402]

​@@shortangel333You sound stupid, Dude

[@Null-iu7db]

Both of these "Parents" need to grow up and put aside their issues for the kid. Nothing matter but the kid. They honestly don't deserve him.

[@gwenrichard7507]

Both? The father seems to have changed, the mother is repeating the same mistakes. "Take my side or ill cut you out too." Wonder what will happen when the kid comes back talking about how much he loves his dad.

[@quadryjohnson2099]

How are both parents bad? Thr father has every right to that child. The mother is the only bad one.

[@lostone9700]

Thats only if they are good parents.

[@GoldenNada]

Facts but a grown woman doing this is the devils work because wtf...

[@_juju_jojo_]

You slow? All the replies are also dumb except for one. They both amicably agreed to do what's best for their son and not play tug-of-war with him. Never comment some dumb sht without watching the whole video

[@kupidrosalindavateri3965]

Someone who cheats can not be trusted with a child.

[@kupidrosalindavateri3965]

NTA

[@Valast]

Tbh, courts should rule that the cheating partner should not get full custody with the exception of if the partner cheated on has mental health problems or abusing drugs

[@ItsYaGirlAngelica]

People who are supporting The cheater definitely does not deserve a wife and kids

[@nakeidacassim7696]

People supporting the monster who alienated her child from his father because she was hurt and angry do not deserve partners or children.

[@ItsYaGirlAngelica]

@@nakeidacassim7696 OK but what if the father end up telling the child lies and make it don’t wanna ever see it’s mother again huh? Because most cheating fathers and their mistress does that

[@olegsurchi7411]

Mike dodged a bullet there. OP seems like she was about to become Karen type of person.

[@tiamelton1647]

😮😮 this is wild. Like i get being mad about being cheated on but to use that as a reason to not tell someone about a kid they have is insane. Then when she is confronted about it she plays victim. The only victim here the little boy you deprived of a father who obviously wants him. All because he really just didn't want you. She wicked to me.

[@yque4733]

Anyone else get the feeling the ex wouldn't have cared about fathering a kid with OP if he and his equally scuzzy wife had kids of their own?

[@kdpc06]

Yeah…kinda shocked his wife is all for it…considering she helped him cheat. I’m not seeing that energy continue once they have kids.

[@nteladiekumpuna3647]

Nah there’s a difference in relationship with a partner v a child. Not justifying infidelity but purposefully denying him is son what flat out wrong.

[@kiatequila424]

I want to know what the son thinks, I’m sure he will have issue with this when he’s older.

[@nadiyahnev]

He only wants to take her son bc she left him without saying a word and his guilt & his ego ate him up and now he wants to punish her. Men are ew

[@JaneDolphin-yi5zq]

You can ask about marriage at the very first date. If he isnt interested just so bye

[@thedashingscoundrel]

“I decided to listen only to the people that validate my beliefs” gg no re. Poor kid.

[@YourFunkiness]

I feel like Mike hit the nail on the head with "manipulative b-word".

[@Olimar92]

Acting like no one does this. EVERYONE DOES THIS! Especially cheating asshats like Zach. OP had no reason to think he'd want to be a father, or even be a decent one.

[@rebeccaconlon9743]

Sounds like most young adults these days

[@maxmax87l]

You know if she carried out her plan of telling him at his 16th birthday i wouldnt be shocked if he resented her.

[@dillanharris6654]

Hey BTW I know your dad and have been hiding his identity because I was betrayed but screw your feelings my beloved son ❤

[@maxmax87l]

​@@dillanharris6654 also your dad kept trying to contact you from your grandma but I couldn't let it happen.

[@WadeAlma]

He probably wouldn't care tbh. Finding out his dad is scum would likely push him away from him.

[@Olimar92]

"I hid your father's identity, and didn't tell you the whole truth. I talked to him about marriage, and he decided to go sleep with his ex and complain about me to her using lies." Yeah, I'd resent my mom to if the man she hid from me was such an asshat./s

[@Chonkula]

I cannot say that I am sympathetic to the kid's dad. Bro played stupid games and won himself a stupid prize. I just hope everything works out well for the kid.

[@BigRed1595044]

Aside from the fact that she should’ve terminated the pregnancy to cut him off for good, did she file for back child support? If he opened that door, she could’ve punished him by lawfully claiming child support. What a doormat.

[@buckjunction]

This mom is a see you next Tuesday

[@PixelCat6000]

and the dad is a "going to betray our family"

[@jeannettewondra646]

A child is never a tool for later on her son will resent her for keeping him away from his father.

[@NamesJustE]

Glad I stuck until the end, I wrote out a whole thing about how insane this person is until I heard the concensus from the mediation. Immediately knew the story was fake because she would had been destroyed in court had it been real. Ex was for sure a slime bag for cheating but she made terrible choice after terrible choice following that, to the point where she did more wrong than he did. Doesn't matter though since there is no way this was real.

[@dollyraek]

I’m glad the guy saw how filing for full custody wasn’t really reasonable considering the kid didn’t know him at all.

[@neshaboo933]

The irony in saying “I’m still trying to figure out who’d do such a horrible thing to me” 😂

[@beautifulstrange7057]

* Keeps child away from father for seven years, lies to boyfriend, indirectly causes the end of parents’ marriage * “ My conscience is clear!”

[@Speify]

lol

[@superboydv4676]

The mother ended her own marriage

[@joannacarpenter6438]

She was too fuxing clingy before he cheated?How fuxing clingy would he have considered her after she "baby trapped" him! What a joke.

[@WTC-1990]

I can sense the bitterness in OP. Yes, he lied & cheated, but he didn't do anything to the child and he had a right to atleast know he has a child

[@Noggist1]

Real

[@venomousx8990]

Anita Max Wyn :)

[@idoonotkno894]

21 can ya do somthing for meeee@@venomousx8990

[@_juju_jojo_]

I hate how people think 3 years is marriage material. Almost all divorce stories were of 1-4 year old relationships that got married early. My parents got married pretty early in the relationship but then got divorced. The same thing happened when my mom married my stepfather, although they lasted longer and had dated when they were younger Anything less than 5-6 years isn't marriage material, and even then it isn't guaranteed to last

[@jedimasters1462]

It just depends on the people. My parents knew each other and dated less than 2 years before getting married and they were married for nearly 38 years, until my mom died a month before their 38th anniversary. Dad was 20, nearly 21 and Mom was 19 when they got married. They would be on their 45th anniversary this year if they were both alive still. It all depends on the people and if they are willing to fight for the marriage when crap happens.

[@_juju_jojo_]

@@jedimasters1462lovely to hear and absolutely agree. Like I said, not 100% guaranteed to last. Two people could know each other since childhood, date for years, get married for years and end up divorced cuz they fell out of love or cuz of cheating

[@akbar3413]

Yta should of at least told him that he had a kid

[@vanalikakotian2592]

Jack doesn't deserves any custody op found out about the pregnancy after break up

[@boredcryptek5513]

OP keeps being told maybe its wrong to never reveal an important thing to people like that they have a kid and keeps saying "Nope I am right and others are wrong so f them." Cheating sucks and Zach should rot in hell but still...

[@PMMcIntyre]

Both are at fault here. OP is the AH due to running and taking the child away from the father and the father is the AH for cheating.

[@umm3766]

father should have never cheated? op is the one to birth her own child not him

[@Thegrim326]

​@umm3766 it takes 2 to tango and a father has just as much right to the kid as the mother

[@PMMcIntyre]

@@umm3766 it takes two to make a baby and the father has just as much of a right to that child as she does. As stated above, they are both at fault here, him for cheating and her for basically stealing a child and causing emotional damage to her son by not having his bio father in his life. It would be one thing if the father abandoned the kid, but that's not what happened. She is a coward for hiding their son from him.

[@umm3766]

if the son is healthy and happy with his bio dad then a bio dad is not needed the coward is the man who disrespected his son's mother the woman who birthed out his son the woman who risked her life to even have his son exist in this world like op could have did the easy root and just abort it (which i would in this situation since there's ppl like you in the world who think like this)

[@PMMcIntyre]

@@umm3766 A child needs a mother and a father to be able to grow up and live a healthy life. Our society is in ruins because the State has replaced the father in single mother homes and the fact that 70% of all criminals come from single mother homes reflects this fact. You seem to be glossing over the fact where I blamed both for their actions not once, but twice, yet you seem to hold the view that the mother did nothing wrong. She denied their son his father. That is beyond fucked up and the fact that you can't see that says a lot about you. "which i would in this situation since there's ppl like you in the world who think like this" This is what's known as being a sociopath. Unaliving a child because it's inconvenient is an act of pure evil and selfishness. It's a life that has every right to live as everyone else. Learn to be a better person.

[@nteladiekumpuna3647]

Hiding someone’s child is not okay why are people acting like it is

[@leox.jaramillo3231]

ESH. The only innocent parties are the kid and the new BF. New boyfriend needed to run, not walk, away from this relationship. She is certainly untrustworthy and vindictive. OP should have absolutely dumped the cheating boyfriend, but essentially deprived the kid of a dad and the dad of a kid. Even if he would have been a bad dad anyway, he had a right to know, at least. Her mom should also not have gone behind her back. Her timing and motivations are very suspect, but ultimately did the right thing.

[@diivaiinthehouse1]

Just because the man is around doesn’t mean he is good for his child. This just reminds me the bar is in hell for some men and women have to be perfect.

[@tothewonder6248]

It's literally LOL that people automatically think he'd be a good father. What about him screams parent material??

[@NiteStand]

Another single mother spouting ignorant kid logic, what else is new..

[@loveyourwaifu1035]

reminds me of the story where the wife cheated and OP literally BEAT HER WITH A STICK AND HIS HANDS and emotionally abused her. yet so many people were OK with what OP was doing. seems men can just do whatever the fuck they want and get away with nothing more than a slap on the wrist

[@fiachrasheridan9866]

sadly they hadn't gotten to check if he would be a good father until now

[@zozupskystar8639]

One thing I kinda wanna ask and wish I could ask op... If her ex is married...couldnt he just make a kid with that woman if he wanted a kid instead of taking op's kid? Just confused...I mean, the ex literally has someone he could have a baby with right by his side! So, again, why take op's kid?

[@CherryGryffon]

Because it's NOT OP's kid. It's his kid TOO and SHE is the one that took him away from him for SEVEN YEARS. Also, ever heard of infertility? Fertility struggles? PCOS? There are a thousand reasons the wife may be unable to conceive and it's none of our damn business. Besides, you can't just REPLACE children. Jack IS HIS SON. He deserves to have a relationship WITH HIS SON. Having ANOTHER child does not replace Jack.

[@STAYATINYARMYSIN]

@@CherryGryffonjust because she can’t( we don’t know) doesn’t mean they can take her kid away and act like he is theirs.

[@FrutoseDeMorango]

@@STAYATINYARMYSIN It's not her kid, it's THEIR kid. Zach is just as much as a parent as OP is

[@STAYATINYARMYSIN]

@@FrutoseDeMorango biologically yes , also the only reason he even wants Jack is because he and his wife can’t have kids soo

[@fiachrasheridan9866]

i suppose its easy for some to not feel any emotion about not getting to see there child for the first seven years of their life, and to just "go make another one"

[@charlottebalme-rk3it]

Cheated with his ex and once to get back into your life just for your child

[@MimosaRose]

Geeze, OP made so many mistakes. She should have communicated with the EX- why she was leaving and disclosed the pregnancy. Then sought out full custody with visitation. None of this would’ve happened if she took a minute to think clearly.

[@G.T_666]

You should really only deprive a kid of their parent if the parent proves to be toxic to the child. The ex may have hurt OP, but he never hurt his child. Why deprive your kid of the truth, and their own family?

[@umm3766]

someone who would hurt the mother of the child isn't gonnabe a good dad to the child

[@WadeAlma]

Because the mother then has to deal with the stress of being g around him. That stress affects the health of said child. If he was still around she would probably abort the kid.

[@anq4274]

-And how's your relationship with your dad? -Oh, he cheat on my mom, she leaves and years later he show up because his wife can't have children and I'm his consolation prize, not big deal.

[@cassiefuchs3657]

Finding out that your mother deprived you of a relationship with your father is very distressing for children.@@WadeAlma

[@bcatbb2896]

@@umm3766 and how exactly do you know that? your personal opinion?

[@joshfly210]

Unless someone is being physically violent, both the kid and the other parent need to be given the opportunity to be in eachother lives. I don’t think he should have cheated but that’s break up worthy. You don’t take their kid and run. She’s letting her personal feelings of him get in the way of that child’s well being.

[@WadeAlma]

Nah, it was about her well being at that point. Fuck him. Staying with a worthless dude like that is stressful and probably would've pushed her to abort.

[@kossettereaditte7552]

Okay OP is a terrible person. Sure her Ex boyfriend is a bad person too but OP is such a terrible humanbeing too

[@ivo4095]

That unskilled pal is cheating all over the parkour... :(

[@reillycurran8508]

People thinking OP was in the wrong because "yOu CaN't KeEp A fAtHeR fRoM hIs SoN" are just low down. Willing to ignore that this rat married the woman he was cheating on OP with for wanting to get married, and then initiated a fortunately unsuccessful stalking campaign against her that, had he found her, could have endangered the life of the child he supposedly had been deprived of. Also, no man has the right to be a father, it's a privilege that he can and should lose for being such a slimeball as he was. Good on him for possibly turning out to have not been so horrible NOW, but OP did nothing wrong at all ghosting him and keeping him out of the kid's life for what he did.

[@G.T_666]

The ex screwed his gf over. That doesn't mean he screwed the kid over. Many people divorce or have nasty relations with their exes, but for the sake of the kid, they allow the kid to be happy to have both their parents in their life. To deprive your kid of their parent for something THEY DID TO YOU is not right.

[@fiachrasheridan9866]

wait do fathers really legally not have the right to be in the kids life? that's messed up. is it the same for mothers?

[@WadeAlma]

​@@fiachrasheridan9866When men give up as much as a woman does during and after pregnancy then we can talk about it.

[@ItsYaGirlAngelica]

@@fiachrasheridan9866 some kids can kinda be okay being fatherless

[@TheHelper151]

@@ItsYaGirlAngelica Rare cases.

[@tbnrwolff3354]

An eye for an eye in the world goes blind

[@dragoezcurra]

Casually her at the end of the video: "I don't want my son to resent me for not allowing him to have a relationship with his father." WTF?! That's the reason Mike left you, your mom "betrayed" you, your ex sued you! How dare you pretend those words are yours now. YTAH Also her at the end: "My mom was always a little of a control freak". I guess the Apple didn't fall far from the tree.

[@tiffanie8949]

Everyone seriously is just fine with her robbing her son of his dad? 🙄 She definitely isn’t a great mother. He wasn’t dangerous, on drugs, abusive. He just didn’t want to be with her and her selfish little petty brain stole his kid.

[@lorddibbles372]

She's still ultimately in the right like she said its not the most ethical thing we've ever heard but he cheated what's to say after a year he'd change? The 7 years really gave him time to grow up and reflect on how bad he was, I dont believe she should have hidden it from mike but considering how her last relationship went its hard to open up to someone like that. Ironically Mike acted more like how she thought her ex would lol, and in the end it was quite literally for the best as the child is probably gonna have a decent father figure now and a decent mother. The only real problem is OP's mother completely betraying her but she got karma for that too i suppose

[@Bovaja]

Poor kid , both his parents are awful.

[@gotenblack2542]

yup

[@ultimsing]

Exactly

[@ezoez7548]

The mom isn't bad lol. Cheaters don't make good parents 💀

[@gwenrichard7507]

What should the father have done?

[@gwenrichard7507]

​@ezoez7548 The stats on no father is worse. Even the kid thinks the mom went too far.

[@mitchverr9330]

So ex cheated, OP thinks she has the right to just not let ex have any kind of knowledge/contact with the child and not be the bad guy? I dont think court would take a good view of purposefully keeping the father in the dark, they very much wont let the 7 years without him be used against him, in fact, it could be viewed against her. "who would do such a horrible thing to me" - OP just doesnt get she is the bad guy in her story. So many women wish they had a dad for their child that wants to be the kids dad, and she did this and then goes "who ratted on me, this isnt fair on me"? Nowhere near "even". It should be a crime to purposefully not tell a childs father that they are the father. "I dont think he would be ready" - you didnt give him the chance to damn well try. OP is constantly about "me me me" never about "whats good for the kid/giving him a chance to have a dad". And dont blame the BF breaking up with her, I couldnt be with somebody who would do that to a child, the guys a dick, but you shouldnt remove the kids ability to have a loving Dad and he obviously WANTED to be a dad as the ending shows, how he is so happy to finally be able to do it.

[@bitviper3430]

Both OP and AP are in the wrong. AP doesn’t deserve full custody and should’ve thought second before cheating. OP had no right to hide a child from his father. Statistically speaking her own desires hurt her child’s chances in life if he never gains a proper father figure.

[@omniverseunisec2496]

I'd sue the shit out of someone if I found out I had a kid I didn't know about.

[@goodnightmyprince6734]

Lol

[@omniverseunisec2496]

@@goodnightmyprince6734 I get he cheated on her, but it's not like he beat her. He had every right to know about the kid. I'm surprised he didn't go after her for emotional distress. He would've won that with flying colors.

[@goodnightmyprince6734]

@@omniverseunisec2496 emotional distress 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@omniverseunisec2496]

@@goodnightmyprince6734 yes. That is something you can sue over. Lol

[@sirissac3799]

​@@omniverseunisec2496like he didn't cause her emotional distress by cheating first 😂😂

[@TheQuietPartOutLoud]

This woman seems incredibly selfish. All I hear is "ME ME ME ME ME"

[@IMHip2]

Yea… Successfully raising a child by yourself after leaving a lying pos is all ME ME ME ME

[@rukiakuchiki6187]

Just a mess in general

[@matthewjohnston7071]

This woman is messed up!

[@Fiercetits]

She kept a son from his father because she was mad at him, she’s a selfish person and mother, didn’t care at all about her son’s wellbeing just how she felt, trying to “get even” with his father and stole 7 years he cannot get back. This unethical its pure evil.

[@elarianasky]

She was hated on! She was called clingy and needy and the guy got with her because he wanted something more, casual, why is that so difficult to understand? He did not like the MINUTE she brought up marriage to him after THREE WHOLE YEARS of dating. Bro panicked and immediately started to talk to his ex and shit talked his gf and then went to go cheat on her and you're saying that OP's actions are evil? Because she wanted to protect herself from a man who didn't value her and wasn't as loyal to her as she was to him? One mention of marriage after a decent number of years dating and he IMMEDIATELY goes to seek another woman. That is immaturity at its finest!

[@Fiercetits]

@@elarianasky He was 21 so being panicked about marriage, it’s a normal reaction when you’re not ready, but preventing a son from having a father for 7 years is evil, she had absolutely no right to do that and likely hurt her son, time will tell when she learns the truth that his mom kept him from having a father because she was being petty and mad at his dad.

[@fonandoozmando5961]

I mean Morals aside She could've terminated the pregnancie whenshe learntabout it and I know most people would've based on the sole fact that who wants to raise a cheater's child alone, they would forever be a reminder of a hurtfull past. Instead, she decided to keep it while being alone and there are no father of the birth certificate. The father has little to no legal rights to the child however much blood they share in their veins

[@loveyourwaifu1035]

abortion is possible. but it comes with risks and not everyone is able to mentally go through with it. some women just instantly get a connection with the being they're growing the moment when they find out.

[@CherryGryffon]

If she was mentally sound enough to have the child of an unfaithful father, she was mentally sound enough to TELL the man that he WAS a father, and offer a chance at co-parenting. But no, she chose to be selfish and petty and put herself before her son. And THEN she lied about it and wanted to wait until he was basically grown before even telling him about his father. He robbed her of a short relationship, SHE robbed him AND her son of significant figures in their lives.@@loveyourwaifu1035

[@CherryGryffon]

Depending on the state, she COULD be sued for alienation of parental rights among other things, since she didn't even inform him he WAS a father. Yeah, he cheated on her, but she robbed HIM of 7 years of HIS son's life; And robbed her SON of a father.

[@loveyourwaifu1035]

@@CherryGryffon because growing up under one parent is definitely worse than growing up in a household where the parents resent eachother and one is a lying cheating bastard that can't be relied on for anything?

[@calico_queen8976]

​@@CherryGryffonIt's almost like single parents don't exist? Or is there an assumption that children raised by single parents grow up mentally disturbed and grow up either be failures or worse? I don't understand why people keep screaming that the son needs a father when he was able to live a relatively ok life without knowing him?

[@nteladiekumpuna3647]

do such a horrible thing to me like you didn’t do something horrible 😂

[@AidM1]

Why was the cheating ex-bf more understanding than the current bf

[@nakeidacassim7696]

Because he feels bad for cheating years ago. There was nothing for the other boyfriend to be understanding about. She lied to him that her ex abandoned his child and that she was forced to be a single mother when in reality she was the one who hid and alienated her son from his father. She then refused to do the right thing when the boyfriend tried to show her the error of her ways. She is everything he said she was, manipulative and void of morals.

[@CG-yb6zj]

How are people siding with the ex just because he's the sperm donor?? He CHEATED. Not only that, he made clear he HATES her. Before addressing this like an adult, he outright went to try to TAKE her son, whom he does not know and vice versa, and left no room to negotiate. He's proven in past and present to still be emotionally immature and vindictive and unfit to be anyone sort of parent regardless of what money he may have. THAT doesn't guarantee a present and caring parent. If her son, or she, needed to know she could've reached out to him, but that option was taken by a greedy mother. NTA

[@pat4761]

Every child has the right to know both parents. I hate cheaters but her reaction was vindictive and not only hurt him (which he deserved) but her son would’ve resented her one day. I’ve known plenty of ppl who were shitty partners but good parents. When you have a child you gotta be more responsible and think for more than just yourself. OP didn’t do that

[@mindylafler3456]

He should accept that he f'd up and he doesn't get a do over. Have children with the wife he chose, and if she can't he chose that! He doesn't get to swoop in and take more from the woman. Just sorry, but you gave up your rights to anything in the eomans life, and I mean EVERYTHING, when he chose to cheat. Then, he married his affair partner. So, he chose! He doesn't get to steal more if this woman's dignity from her, child or not.

[@adambenes3728]

Father has the same rights as mothers. He cheated so he is an ahole but she has no right to keep his child from him. This is exactly what is wrong with moder women.

[@leeshyd531]

"op is a horrible parent for keeping jack away from his father" ok, ordinarily, i'd agree that she was the asshole. but this guy was so immature at the time that he literally cheated on his perfectly good girlfriend JUST BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO MARRY HIM. he didn't talk shit out with her, he just went ahead and hooked up with his ex. whether or not he had feelings for his ex or not is up for debate, but that's not relevant. this guy literally went around and told his ex he hated his wife. why would anyone wanna take the risk of letting him in his child's life? just because "not all cheaters are bad parents" is definitely a fact that should be taken into consideration here, doesn't mean it'd be guaranteed in zach's case. op clearly didn't want zach in her child's life, not because she was being petty but because she believed he would be an immature and possibly toxic parent, and teach her child incorrect values. because like it or not, zach is not a good guy, or at the very least, he _wasn't_ a good guy as a young man. would you trust someone whose guts you hate with your kid, even if you rationally knew they weren't a bad parent? _no!_ jack was a _baby,_ and babies are fragile and impressionable, even if they aren't at the age where they'll be devastatingly affected by trauma yet. you're gonna feel protective instinct over them if you're half a decent parent, like it or not, and that can blur your logic and rationale, which is clearly what happened with op here. of course, i will admit, her actions were also emotionally charged and she wanted to get away from zach with no confrontation involved. but it was completely rational for her to do this- who'd want a cheating pleb to influence their child like that? yes, zach was still the kid's father, and ordinarily, i would recommend 50/50 custody until one parent proves they're unfit to parent the kid. but she had already run off to another state without knowing she was pregnant, and zach had already proven himself to be untrustworthy and even immature. yes, zach changed, and i'm personally satisfied with how the current situation ended, but the matter of fact was that _she had no way of knowing if zach was a good father._ yes, lousy partners can be decent parents, but the fact of the matter is that jack is a human being, even if he was a baby who was too young to have an educated opinion, and his mother did not want to risk his mental wellbeing for 'ethicality'. and i can respect that, because in the end, she wanted to protect her child from someone who hurt her and thought would hurt him, too. besides, zach is allowed to be in his son's life now, so it doesn't matter anymore now, does it? both he and op agreed that it was now all water under the bridge- past zach would've been a deadbeat dad, but clearly present zach wants to be a good father (or maybe, as some more skeptical commenters have pointed out, he just wants the kid in his life. whatever, we don't know his real motives and won't know until op updates), so hopefully jack won't ever have to know what kind of parent zach would've been to him had he been a father to him from the very beginning.

[@leeroyo]

Getting cheated on sucks, however keeping the knowledge of a child from a parent is psychopathic.

[@NiteStand]

Common behavior from modern women is not surprising, and with people championing it makes it even more laughable. Bunch of children.

[@WadeAlma]

Trying to demand custody from someone you were mistreating is the lowest of the low.

[@leeroyo]

@@WadeAlma she withheld knowledge of her son from him because she was upset. What he did was horrible, what she did was illegal.

[@WadeAlma]

@@leeroyo And instead she could of aborted the child the moment she found out this dude would try this bs.

[@ItsYaGirlAngelica]

@@WadeAlmatrue

[@Notthechosen]

Victim complex story. Just about all little boys who didn’t know their father wants a father. NGL, everyone fucked up. But it’s not about how anyone else feels. It’s about what’s best for the kid.

[@CanadianGreekhoplite]

Yeah also interesting how everyone got what they deserved. Ex cheats, he gets ghosted and misses out on almost a decade with his son. Op intentionally keeps his son away from him and bam gets a knock on her door that tears her life apart and mom makes a decision out of greed for her daughter and she loses everything.

[@phantomsamurai4400]

What the hell man that's some messy shit

[@alexanderosswald]

The Second Boyfriend was Just being morally right in his actions and seeing that OP has some resembling traits of her mother (trying to Control everyone in her Vicinity and cutting Off people for just having an other Opinion) makes me Wonder how she acts irl and If it really IS true how she Portrait herself in the Post...

[@venomousx8990]

Op is so stupid, he told her that he only wanted something casual, still doesn't make up for his cheating. And then she holds his kid away from him. Both of them are shitty.

[@seanie502]

Being together for 3 years isn't "casual". "casual" goes straight out the window when you're living together.

[@malikwillis05]

I feel like what you do is wrong but that's no excuse to keep his son away from it for 7 years

[@seanie502]

@@malikwillis05 I mean, she had him blocked, she was focused on raising her son and keeping him fed, who's to say she had time to go check up on her ex who she wanted nothing to do with, to double check if he'd turned into a "good person"? A lot of people never change, why would she expect different?

[@malikwillis05]

@@seanie502 just because you cheat doesn't make you a bad person or a bad father, she said herself that he would have want to be in the kids life. She took that opportunity away from him because she was in her feelings?

[@natebaxter9551]

​@@seanie502this is utter garbage. Are you trying to say screwing over your kid is okay because your feelings were hurt?

[@Sunlightty]

Cannot believe am 3rd comment-