Why I'm not on social media.

[@arielc5007]

One does not simply use social media in healthy moderation

[@t.a.yeah.]

I see Boromir talking.

[@dona4him942]

Social media is way better than all the crap I've seen on TV!

[@LoveAndSnapple]

I’ll just check my Twitter for notifications... 4 hours later... Dang it...

[@spmoran4703]

It isnt healthy .

[@Ephesians5-14]

"I don't like to be available".. 100% agree and that's why I kicked social media to the curb.

[@aramis5301]

I don't feel like social media forces me to be available. Not on the computer, at least. But I also hate the pressure to be available all the time, only, for me, that translated into a refusal to have a smartphone for a long time. I still tend to leave my phone unattended for days sometimes. I do have a problem of being addicted to the Internet, that's for sure. It flatters my insatiable thirst for intellectual stimulation... But I don't feel it forces me to be "available", except now for professional emails - I need to work on not replying sometimes.

[@Redhotrussian1]

The thing that makes me mad is how employers are really using it for potential candidates. It's like you need a LinkedIn profile or you're out. My negative, depressing narcissist ex has given up on the "just go for it and see what happens" mentality and can control his emotions. But his LinkedIn says "everything in life is possible". It's all manufactured and companies are relying on it?!?!

[@danasima8659]

👏😎

[@atlas3732]

Ditto

[@leighharwood916]

'Charles Barkley' was quoted as saying a few years back on TV that "social media is where losers go to feel important". He kind of hit the nail on the head!

[@SFVone]

"I don't like people having a window into my life." YEP

[@XY-qx8wu]

Yep

[@benedictsycamore809]

INFJ checking in. Your content is some of the most sincere and fresh I've seen in a long while - keep it up. I'm with you 💯 percent. I left social media in 2015, as personally I find it feeds narcissism, envy, and incentivizes me to cultivate a persona rather than genuine character. Haven't looked back since. I like to encourage other people to at least consider the same, but I'm pretty weary of giving off holier-than-thou vibes. You did a great job of laying it down here though, so I'm sending this video on.

[@saatahfayiah5747]

Accurate

[@NiCeSkibby]

I agree completely! I think that sometimes social media is causing people to become unauthentic, because if there's a "stream" or a "flow" of what other people usually do, social media could easily force others to follow that "flow" as well. Also so many people pose with themselves and who doesn't comply with the "flow" is also easily being excluded. And I mean who cares anyway? So many people crave for attention on social media, that's its just disgusting in my opinion. Social media feels like a removal of privacy in some way, in my opinion. Sry I'm not a native speaker myself, but I hope you might understand what I mean.

[@jonrad2317]

just deleted all my social media back in nov tell you feels good being a ghost

[@SpiritFox17]

Fellow INFJ here. Hearing all of this said aloud has helped me make the decision to delete Facebook very soon..

[@peaceablegirl]

I deleted my Facebook account about a year ago, only to rejoin about 6 months later. Oftentimes I wish I had stayed off, but what happened for me was that I got too addicted to solitude to the point where I was feeling pretty cut off. With the exception of my parents, my husband, and occasionally my brother, I do not speak or text with anyone over the phone. I do have a few friends and family members who can message me through my iPad, but even though I am somebody who enjoys and mostly prefers solitude, I began to feel cut off. When I first rejoined Facebook, I kind of binged on it for awhile, like I was making up for lost time. Now I’ve grown a little bored with it, but it’s nice to be able to go on once in awhile to check in with certain people.

[@lailanitukuafu]

I know this is an old video and really no one will see this comment, but I totally agree. It's so annoying when people just post invitations on Facebook and expect that to be enough. You expressed the reasons for my complete apathy towards social media very well. Thank you and good job

[@joubinha333]

My reasons are the same. I like surprises. And privacy. And it's too much to analyze. I miss the old way of communicating. It felt more authentic.

[@audreylaylay9828]

I TOTALLY AGREE WITH THIS

[@wesrm1]

It’s fun to watch movies set before social media and cell phones (like 80s teen movies for example) to see how life was, which I’m old enough to remember.

[@LittleMissHoop]

@Vernon Francis Gallagher WTF?!

[@killerme4774]

Agree

[@rlhjr]

But... but... how am I supposed to survive without unsolicited pics of people's breakfasts and hour-by-hour reports of their toddler's toilet training?!

[@FrankJames]

That's a good question that I failed to account for

[@asseyez-vous6492]

Lol 😂

[@LoveBeliefTruth]

I was so suprised back in the day that these boring everyday things were tidbits for others, worth shouting out to the whole world.

[@justinbellavia4352]

My kinda guy! I felt like I literally just watched myself rant!

[@TitanicConcerts]

Social media is sort of a preservation of the ego. We aren't the things we eat, the places we visit, our musical tastes or our political beliefs. But FB has a weird way of trying to create an identity for us using these things. All it does is steal your mind and time.

[@PassedTime2788]

JC Morton wow, that really seeps into the heart of the problem! I notice how adamantly people cling to their ideologies through constant facebook exposure. In real life such self-promotion would be in appropriate.

[@PeteS_1994]

Notice how surgery also seems more popular, it's like society sells us this image that our identity can be brought and social media gives us that means to show off that identity.

[@mnoood8260]

When you flashed those comments saying you have aspergers and are emo I laughed so hard. The best part about your humor is that you don’t have to be flashy or animated about it. It just seems more real and relatable. Also I quit social media for the same reasons you gave as well as everyone glorifying depression and constantly being negative. I’m 22 and it seems like my generation can’t help but dump all their misfortunes on Facebook as a cry for help. It’s sad.

[@StRaWbeRrYsasha]

i genuinely thought it said he's like a mild asparagus , which i found funny. and now even funnier because that's not what he typed.

[@laurabrochure3556]

Sometimes I think we are the same person

[@madison_drew]

And im thinking that same exact thing its so odd I never had this happen

[@_Colie]

We're not alone y'all! c:

[@jessoconnor7232]

I feel as an infj we like to get past that surface level or "highlight reel" that social media provides and get to the nitty gritty in our relationships. Way more fullfilling!

[@spmoran4703]

Yes, it's too shallow for me. And is full of the shallow.

[@web7014]

Why do I find him so funny??😂😂 (and cute??)

[@davidwalker9594]

Ras Webb because

[@paigebarrett6163]

cause he is

[@spiritsofelderflower]

Because he is funny and cute

[@reciestrange4856]

he definitely is all of those things haha

[@kalpnasaxena9112]

Ras Webb yaas how do you not

[@alyssaleatham8544]

People are supposed to come and go. It isn't fair when those of us who aren't on social media are made to feel antisocial. It's aggravating having to explain that I'm not trying to be difficult. I simply prefer to give my complete attention face to face. Lastly, my children specifically asked that their privacy be protected, so it is a no-brainer.

[@spmoran4703]

I like talking to people face to face also . Talking to one person while being read by thousands is creepy .

[@user-fl1nm4zb8e]

''The way the world is supposed to work is you pass in and out of other people's lives, and if you wanna stay in someone else's life, you make the effort.'' Very well said, I relate to this sooo much. It's been awhile since I got rid of my social media accounts because of all the reasons you listed.. including the fact that I just no longer wanted to be updated on the lives of people I'm actually not in contact with.. along with the constant feel that my life is not enough.. and for 'social' media, it was actually pretty isolating to me. I'm doing much better without it. I also really relate to the other point you made about not wanting your life to be on display and wanting it to not be connected to others'. Great video.

[@LittleMissHoop]

I think I'm losing it- I had to pause the video at 8:03 and kind of yelled to myself "YES!". Agree so much with you on everything you're saying about social media, I am a Gen-Xer, and you gave me hope that not all millennials are social-media addicts (guessing your age). I can't believe you get this

[@Murgatroydian]

I like privacy too much. It's probably paranoia but it's like I literally feel people looking and judging and it can wake me up in horror. I admire people who seem to throw so much out there and never look back.

[@sophiakorte377]

mercerdamon yeeessss exactly. It’s scary letting people in on your life because you’re letting them judge and potentially criticize you...

[@In_time]

That feeling when you’re asked “You’re not on social media, ARE YOU?” (Which is code for “I’ve already tried to peer into the window of your life but couldn’t find the right window on the popular platforms and am now looking for confirmation that one does not exist on the internet 🤫”) Freaks me out. Solid choice to stay off-I’ve never met anyone who regretted giving it up:)

[@recoveringsoul755]

in time YES!! nailed it. Plus FJ even said he stalked someone. I have a couple (or more) different stalkers and I would just be fine if there isn't anything for them to find. One kept telling me to get on LInked In so they could "help me". No, they just want to keep tabs on my life. I have enough to get a restraining order, but I don't even want to see him in court. How many years and YEARS of ignoring him before he gets the hint (After being told NO) that I am not interested? There are dangerous people out there.

[@kaymitchell1991]

Recovering Soul: I am really sorry that happened to you...So many people out there, especially young people in particular, think that getting harassed and stalked could never happen to them. After all, they're 10 feet tall and bulletproof..Until they find out otherwise. KZbin celebrities, ESPECIALLY young, attractive women, are taking a gigantic risk...I know a few women who have been stalked for YEARS, across state lines, because they made the mistake of thinking they were "safe" online...Yes it's important to be careful of what you put online, because once it's out there you can't get it back...The bitter truth is that you could put something fairly bland out there for public consumption and STILL attract a stalker...No you don't have to be female for this to happen, but if you are a woman online, you take a risk just being online PERIOD...Sad but true, but this is a direct consequence of a society that objectifies women and teaches men that we are here for their pleasure alone.

[@Ephesians5-14]

in time lol!

[@AP-bf9pe]

You havent met me then lol

[@hotmessmissy]

Yes ive been off it 2yrs now before i used to post so much of my life on it... Now i just feel so much at peace and feel liberated

[@alaynaschmidt5203]

Hello, Frank. I stumbled upon your KZbin channel and I just wanted to say that I appreciate your authentic quirkiness and honest commentary on life! I’m also an INFJ and a lot of what you say in your videos resonates with me. Thanks for shedding some light on the INFJ life.

[@FrankJames]

Thanks, Alayna

[@Yom5082]

I hate social media as well Frank, I'm still on it, but I don't like to check them. P.S Usually, I don't comment on videos, but for some reason I like to comment on yours.

[@FrankJames]

Thanks for commenting!

[@KARTICKDAS-uh9qh]

Have you quit social media yet??

[@blahhoop8280]

Also wanted to add I went through a guys photos once and he had a pic of a girl he was dating at the time. His mom commented that they would make beautiful babies together. Then I saw more recent pics of him dating a different girl a couple of years later and his mom said the same thing. That really disturbed me on a deep level.

[@mistymorgan8068]

Yeah that'd freak me out, especially because I don't want kids.

[@atinuke6932]

All I can say is, if you don't have a solid sense of self worth and esteem, viewing catchy pictures and videos of IG and facebook members can do a number on you and cause feelings bordered on depression.

[@sirnovaway6508]

“If you didn’t reach out to me then I wasn’t invited.” Yes thank you!!!!

[@M3RRY]

“I’m not really good at moderating anything” MEEEEE AF 🙋🏾‍♀️ when dealing with people lmao mainly when it comes to the opposite sex.

[@katty4682]

I'm about to get rid of my Facebook actually. I do Instagram, occasionally, but mostly just to share my artwork. I feel the same way on social media.

[@ranaelizdenis6507]

Yeah if I wasn't an artist I'd delete it. For artists, social media can give you an networking platform..

[@BhartiSharma94]

sage kath, yes me too. I havent opened both of these in months but I don't know why I haven't deleted them. Facebook always gives me anxiety and makes my emotions go wild. The idea of having people look at it anytime they makes me feel uneasy. I just couldn't get myself to delete it because I see it as some sort of extension of myself. I always thought maybe this feeling about social media will go away but it never really did. It might do me a lot of good to just delete it

[@sarebear483]

I've logged into facebook twice in the last month. I'm so over it. Had messenger on my phone so my girlfriends could contact me for free. But then while I was waiting around for them to reply, bam. Scrolling on fb, massive waste of time. The other social media networks aren't that big where I am. I actually miss pre-internet life. Often find myself day dreaming about the 90's, and telephones. Writing letters.

[@jennifervantassel4571]

Bharti Sharma what about just deactivating? Its still there if you ever want to go back on to retieve stuff or whatever. I like this option because I can take breaks when I need to without the fear of losing saved links, posts and pictures.

[@amiga512k]

Get rid of it all , waste of time

[@misterslick2693]

You ever notice how lots of people nowadays try to be role models? They want to show off how much they can help others by hammering in positive messages and giving advice thinking everyone needs to hear it.

[@AlyssaNicoleox]

Ian Thompson yes! Everyone’s got it all figured out and are self proclaimed “gurus”. Drives me nuts lol

[@marcellam855]

I think that is the most annoying FB personality for me. It's the essential oil lady who has her life all figured out and so humbly wants everyone to enjoy what she's discovered on her journey. You can do this, of course, by signing up for her workshops and buying her oils. Lol

[@LittleMissHoop]

Yeah, what IS that?

[@namrata9218]

You are a contributing member of the society .. More contributing than millions of people .. Your videos are helping so many people .. That's a contribution .

[@Nina21_]

I've been thinking about quitting social media for a while and after watching this video i'm definetely doing it ! Now that i got older (i'm 26 ) i find it meaningless and so draining ! Just like you said, it's taking away the real value of relationships ! Plus , i can't use it moderately aswell so i end up wasting a lot of time ! I want to focus on myself and cultivate few real, authentic relationships with human contact instead of passively watching everyone's life..this was such a great video 💯

[@MT-ij2mh]

The virtue signalling is really annoying. I don't understand why people need to show how good or caring they are... It's cringy

[@misterslick2693]

Melissa T I was in a depression a while back and to try and make me feel better everyone on social media kept giving me the same advice over and over as if I didn't already know or was too stupid to get it. It feels condescending because they're pretty much saying "my life is better than yours. Let me help you because helping you makes me look better"

[@NikkiDocherty74]

I hope I don't come across as virtue signaling. That isn't ever my agenda. I am a survivor of narcisstic abuse, gaslighting and smear campaign. I have had a horrible attack on me by someone who is trying to destroy me and my friendships/relationships. It has occurred in the workplace and online (covertly). I have had to make a lot of truthful "I am" statements to stand up for myself. I am not trying to bolster myself, I am trying to alert people of the dangers of narcisstic abuse and that what occurs in life is carried out online by those with smear campaigns against their targets. I have survived this abuse, and I am in the last phase of my recovery by taking back what was intended to be stolen from me by making my "i am" statements.

[@TheBlahblah1010]

Even though this video is two years old, it came up as a suggestion to watch this morning and the title resonated with me enough to click it and actually watch it. This is exactly how I feel. I haven’t had Facebook since 2017. I’ve never had a Twitter, and I hardly use the insta. People look at me like I’m psychotic or a cave person when I say I don’t have Facebook. I like privacy. I like genuine effort. I don’t need anyone keeping tabs on me through a glowing screen unless it’s actually to call me or send me a message. My life is not the pixelated images uploaded to the internet. Thank you for creating this. Your humor, rants, and creations are a saving grace.

[@thefarmerswifeknits6190]

Yes, yes, yes. You are very well spoken and I agree with all you’ve said here. I am INFP and social media is painfully shallow to me.

[@yoshimiyamada175]

Same

[@macaroll]

Just to share as well, as I age now, I find myself using social media less and less. Though I just keep it for work and posting art. Also iirc, I'm an INTJ. And it's so true when you stated it's "painfully shallow". Especially when people get their self-worth from having likes, subs, followers, etc. I admit, I was like that and instant gratification is not bad, however turning it into a happiness pill and getting addicted to it is crazy.

[@wheretao6960]

This video is so scary I feel like I'm watching myself talk. I had an Instagram account which had around 600 followers, people I didn't even know. Later some months back I wondered why I even decided to do such a meaningless thing; some people were not even acquaintances. And so I deleted my account, made a new one strictly for people I genuinely know and care about. I stopped caring about the number of likes or number of followers because in the end of the day it's just another utterly meaningless number.

[@ValeriyaVandermark]

Social media is waste of time. Too much noise.

[@mllenicolettejeanne]

I really appreciated how you touched on the fact that people don't think about you when you're not on social media. It never ceases to amaze me how social media can really bring out the worst kinds of passive aggressive antisocial behavior in everyone. However, in a way this has its benefits because it can really show a person who cares enough about them to make the effort to *actually* connect... But it doesn't make it suck any less

[@AngloHello]

I like that you always make your bed. Good job!

[@paulcooper5748]

Let us see yours lol i hope its as neat.

[@roxanaorquera]

Haha

[@whoshotya117]

Only when he makes videos haha

[@alatus5779]

Deleted all my social media accounts. Never looked back. Keep it up!

[@afeathermadeofmetal7]

Good morning FJ! I'm with you, Social media is changing how we interact. It's making our relationships superficial and our attention span almost nonexistent. I got rid of my Facebook a few months ago and I have less anxiety and am able to use my energy more effectively towards things that actually matter. Like you said, complete waste of time.

[@j.j.r.6075]

Agree with everything... so crazy. I try to tell people, but they kinda just... don't seem to understand. It's like it's become a social expectation and you're the inconvenience if you don't have it, especially with facebook. Thanks for sharing, as always ^^

[@skf2658]

This was absolutely the best overview of Facebook. I got back on Facebook after 8 years during this pandemic in order to connect because I felt so disconnected with my community. But it does really just make me feel worse about myself because of the pictures, and the people that I've lost contact with, that I wish I still was actual friends with. Also, I'm totally the same, it's all or nothing for me. Extreme addiction or I just need to completely get rid of it. BTW, I'm loving these old vlog videos lately.

[@SuzySylvania]

You put exactly into words what I have been thinking and feeling! I didn’t even post pictures from my daughter’s wedding because it just felt weird!

[@Elizabeth-py2xl]

It feels great knowing that there are other people my age that don’t partake in social media. It makes me feel less alone. Creating relationships without social media has proven to be much more genuine. Thanks a million

[@_InsertName_]

I'll show this video to whoever asks me why am I not in social media.

[@HLG543]

The part of where people don't think about you when you are not in social media is so true

[@dll6384]

"The way the world is supposed to work is you pass in and out of other people's lives, and if you want to stay in someone else's life you make the effort." I think that sums it up. This was a great video Frank, thank you :)

[@lotus444]

I'm InFj but a young one, I'm 19 years old , but cause how I'm thinking and how I take everything, people don't understand me, a loner? Can be , but James u truly inspired me, cause of you video , u make me want improve my se and go out from my shell and try again again and again ^^ And I even try share my life like you did, I'm very grateful ty

[@mikel-lorenzilasco8075]

Yuky Lica Heeey! I'm also a 19 YO infj, I kind of relate about wanting to do yanno, that Se stuff... I'm kind of motivation to chase a career in KZbin again, but life.. lol.... I wish you well on your adventures! :)

[@thatASMRchick]

I feel so similar about the video-making. It's controlled and so if they reject you, it's okay because you edited it the way YOU wanted. I totally understand your reasons for not being on social media. I just haven't found a way to make friends any other way. I'm so awkward IRL and I really have a hard time talking to people (unless totally wasted out of my mind). I've met so many cool peeps online that I feel like it's a great way to meet people you'd never in a million years have met without the internet. My best friend, who sadly passed away, was someone from the internet. I felt such a huge connection with him, almost like he was somehow my "cosmic twin." Definitely not trying to convince you. I get the control thing SO MUCH. I look back on old posts of mine and think I'm the lamest human. I wish I could go back in time and take away the keyboard.

[@thatASMRchick]

But I will say it does open your eyes to the true views of some of your friends. I found out a friend of the family was a huge racist person via his tirades on Facebook. Had he ever expressed these views in person? No. It's weird how it's almost like a diary for some people, a crazy public diary.

[@thatASMRchick]

I also, through editing videos, got to work with one of my favorite celebrities of all time on Twitter! Tim Heidecker if you know who that is. It's a great place for networking.#NotEvenHumbleBrag

[@FrankJames]

I didn't recognize the name but I have heard of Tim and Eric, that is really cool! I am sorry to hear about your friend. I get what you mean about most connections being online. Honestly for a lot of my life my friends were only on forums or chat rooms. But I can't imagine you're that awkward! I think we often make ourselves out to be way more awkward than we actually come across. Then again maybe I'm wrong and you are after all ;) ha ha

[@thatASMRchick]

Thank you. I'm glad you're at least on KZbin! It's great finding similar people even if it's not as intimate as in real life where you can actually talk face to face. Online or IRL, I hold friendships close to me :)

[@697_]

You mentioned God in one of your earlier videos and so I thought I'd bring this up regarding what you said about people on Facebook. In particular where you talk about how people post things on their wall like humblebragging and telling one-sided stories where if you disagree with them you're wrong. Something I noticed in the word of God (Christianity) is when it talks about the end times and how people will be. There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God- having a form of godliness but denying its power [2 Timothy 3 New International Version (NIV)] I'm not well versed on a religion of any kind but I found this to be startlingly accurate in today's society. Facebook is but a mere extension of someone's ego. The likes, comments, views etc. People become lovers of themselves beyond the point of caring for others, not inside their circle and I could go on about each and every description of humanity as it's written thousands of years ago and find credible examples of how this goes down over the internet, on social media and even in real life. But perhaps it is just human nature to be this way and it always has been.

[@lunac7454]

INFJ here, and I'm not on social media. I was just thinking about this topic today, so thanks for this, and it's nice to hear from someone that I can relate to in that way. I feel the need to "protect" myself from it all and know that I'd stay healthier emotionally, if I stay away. I have addictive tendencies and struggle with depression as is, so I figure that if I want to talk to someone badly enough, I'll just call or text someone. I value more meaningful interactions and prefer privacy. I don't feel the need to see what everyone is doing. People think I'm a little eccentric and can't figure me out because of it, but I guess what else is new?

[@georginaleeson9036]

Just a short comment today because I pretty much agree with everything you said. Facebook was a terrible experience for me - I felt the loss of my 'normal' life all the more acutely when comparing myself to everyone else ("don't let comparison be the thief of joy.") Twitter seems combative and shallow to me or just very *noisy*. Instagram changed my life but that is as a creator/artist, much like you are here. The difference is that the connections I made by using it in an unconventional way have enriched my life beyond belief. In that case I'd say that I bent Instagram to my own needs... One interesting thing is that I've been through an intense experience where another person was trying to crush my relationship via social media. That was stressful and bewildering, so I'm well aware of a potential dark side to it. I'm grappling with the oddness of 'identity' on KZbin right now - you appear to have that amazingly under control. I understand that it's a skillful construction. I keep a tiny skeptical edge with every KZbinr after a fairly well known one stayed with us for a week and the gap between his projected image and the reality of his personality was pretty significant! I was naive enough to be shocked at the time...I like the balance between authenticity and performance that you project. I really don't have the talent for that and making videos makes me admire your content all the more. (Not a short comment afterall...)

[@rekal7775]

On such videos which induce a big wave of thoughts, it's hard to resist writing a long comment :)

[@georginaleeson9036]

Réka Lévai It really is! I'm trying to reign in my essay writing instincts though...😅

[@kalpnasaxena9112]

But one that makes you smile.

[@georginaleeson9036]

still, ohana Thank you 🙂

[@qu0thraven]

I too am trying to behave this time. And yet, I tend to enjoy reading the essay like posts.

[@johannylantigua6649]

Great video. I feel the same way...couldn't have said it better. I used to have social media but started feeling so overwhelmed by the lack of privacy. For example, I don't like adding coworkers as friends, but then again, if they add you, it might seem disrespectful to ignore their request....but adding them creates other issues...too much to handle.

[@Redhotrussian1]

Johanny Lantigua I know exactly how you feel about coworkers. It's just becoming too much work to maintain relationships. Sure you can change settings so certain people don't see. Who wants to be bothered with that??

[@macaroll]

Same! It even feels weird if you need to add your boss as friend. I know it's for work, but still, 🤢

[@melizabeth623]

Sorry I'm late! Hey look everyone, FJ can succeed with over 13k subscribers *without* using social media! I guess it's an INFJ thing? the need to be disconnected (not forever, but per the person's own will) and also to have only meaningful connections. I do it too. Not sure who said this quote, but someone important in history sometime (oh geez) said that artists say the things that no one wants to hear-not that they're distasteful, but rather that they say the things we need to hear. They reflect what everyone else is afraid to say: The important things. Guess what? You're an artist. You *are* contributing to society. In perhaps the biggest way possible, through a medium to which nearly every person has access.

[@nicolekallend561]

I keep FB for birthday reminders. Unless I get distracted by someone's photos of their full social life. Followed by the sudden involuntary feeling that everyone else is happier than me. As an INFJ myself, I appreciate how vulnerable and open you are with sharing your own self-critisism.

[@syzygy3239]

I'm from the old world. When the internet didn't exist and we introduced our selves with a hand shake.

[@bean16]

It's like Banksy said... "I don't know why people are so keen to put the details of their private life in public; they forget that invisibility is a superpower." Indeed it is! Highlight reels...meh. Great job mulling over all the reasons why social media doesn't make us very social.

[@carissahill3414]

I think it is because people don't think that deeply about what it means to be in the public life. The rich and famous spend A LOT of their money on security and privacy and instead of even thinking about this, people are filled with jealousy. Invisibility is a superpower but having the control to be able to turn that invisiblity off and on at will is even MORE of a superpower.

[@somedudeinatunnel3102]

"I kept tabs on her...in a creepy way" lmaoooo

[@kendrasocks9896]

Man I'm on the same page as you with so much of this. Been off of facebook for about 5 years- seems like it just brings out the worst in people. I've definitely been forgotten about for not being on facebook as well since people rely on it so much now. Another issue is for some reason people think it's okay to treat people super terribly because it's not in person. Tried to go back on once few months ago (due to the whole 'maybe I have missed out/lost touch with some people thing') and one of the first posts I saw was someone telling someone to (actually it's so terrible I don't even want to type it here). God help us all, lol.

[@D_J_313]

Yes I totally agree with you. I'm on social media. But over the years I scaled down. Thinking the exact thoughts as you. I went from over 1300 friends to like 70. I removed all those ppl. I definitely don't spend as much time on social media that I did years ago.

[@darren05wr]

D J hii

[@jasmineb2487]

You are such a cool dude ok?????

[@penneyburgess5431]

I don’t even feel comfortable on the phone. Conversation, in my opinion is meant to be face to face. You can read a person, see if they’re telling the truth, if they’re well, or if it’s the same old bullshit. You have to look someone in the eye to determine if you can be cruel, or if what you’re selling yourself is justified to give another. The space between people was for reflection of yourself and others. Facebook, Twitter, etc. makes it impossible to find the best in others and ourselves. It’s insincere monkey chatter. Yes, I have a very strong opinion on this. Thank you, Frank.

[@jasminfoley]

Hello my fellow INFJs!! Frank, you perfectly described all my reasons for not using Social Media. Now, when folks ask why I dont use Social Media, can just forward them this video and get on with my life. So glad I stumbled on your channel. Such a comic relief. I take forever to finish watching your vids, as I find myself pulling that little red ball back and replaying all super hilarious parts. Man, you crack me up. Keep it up!

[@FrankJames]

Thanks, Jasmin, glad you enjoyed the video :)

[@suecrumley8897]

I agree with you, the vitriol got to much for me. Deleted Facebook over 2 years ago and have never regretted it. People rely on social media to remind them of birthdays, etc. which I find disingenuous and fake - not impressed. Quality always beats quantity in my opinion. Thanks FJ, we indeed think alike.

[@adamromero]

I've never understood how people feel comfortable putting themselves and their personal images out there for public consumption. Beyond that, it seems like an attempt to prove to everyone else that you are living the life society expects you to live. Everyone only ever posts their "successes"; their romantic life, traveling, weekend parties, etc. Its just vain status promotion.

[@matthewhill4188]

I really like your edits FJ. And also those mean comments were by people who just didn't understand you, like being high or something. I think you are just too smart for them and use big words and don't curse. I like your vocabulary too because it makes me think and engage that much more

[@AllieB-11.11]

I know - how does FJ seem remotely Aspergers with Fe in the 2nd position?!

[@kimireneanderson9645]

I'm a 60 year old INFJ and for 3 years stopped using Facebook. I left because even though most of my time on FB was spent on private forums connected with my rare muscle disorders I, too, began to feel bad. I needed this group dynamic because of the group dynamics, but then suddenly I became the answer woman for others with my disorders and it became overwhelming. I felt almost as if it were my second job to tell my experiences when asked on how I coped, or how I got a doctor to listen. I was being a typical INFJ, trying to help people fix themselves or overcome obstacles, but then it was way, way too much. I'm back on FB to a limited degree, but now I have control. I don't even respond to friends and family, only these private forums because I find their announcements inane and superficial. My sister was with regularity posting pics of deformed children and asking everyone to pray for them. Oh, my God! I can't even watch the videos my niece produces of her beautiful daughter, because my giving Likes became perfunctory. I'd much rather be spending time with them, than flashing likes. The benefit is that through 16 Personalities I learned that two of my friends had taken the test. One turned out to be an ESFP, while the other an ENSP. I was blown away because I saw them in context suddenly. Love being with them at a play or on a cruise but not on social media. As for Twitter, I'd had an account for 12 years, and only because I have a close association with some Star Wars KZbinrs did I establish a presence, only to find that the ENFPand her sister were on it. No problem, I just opened a second account, and my Star Wars/KZbinr friends weirdly found me and began following me. It's pop culture, so there's nothing draining about it. Felt like a dodged a bullet. Through these Star wars KZbinrs, I've been given the opportunity to write fan fiction, since finding out about AOOO (archive of our own), and speculate about the future of Star Wars on Reddit (and that can be rough) but once you put it out there, it's in the wind. Some haters on Reddit actually have read my speculations again after months and now agree with me so it's gratifying. I definitely do not look for feedback, which is why the only three FB posts I posted in the 3 year old gap have been about politics or the economy. After I've said my piece, I'm done, and don't require feedback, because i know my own mind and my opinions are mine. I tried Instagram and just don't get it. It's really quite narcissistic. Really? A forum where people endlessly pose. Tumbler I'm still trying to figure out. So I'm back on social media in a limited capacity, trying to develop Fe even more while setting boundaries. Hope my comments help some younger INFJs.

[@M3RRY]

What’s your sound equipment it just makes your voice so tasteful!

[@nancybrindley9794]

:-) I'm relatively new to your channel, & I LOVE it! I found myself finishing some of your sentences about Facebook, etc. For many people, social isolation such as this is often a precursor to depression as many compare what others have to what they themselves don't have. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Nancy

[@luludee1300]

I'm 2 years late seeing this, but you perfectly laid out, almost verbatim in some instances, my exact reasons for deleting Facebook in 2015. Never joined anything else. Never missed it even once.

[@randycollins87]

“You make the effort”. That’s how it works in four words. Congrats.

[@lzanagiOkami]

I love waking up in the morning and seeing that you made a new video. Thanks buddy

[@RochelleBlum]

INFJ here . Off social media

[@moonmaiden13]

You're an old soul and I appreciate your perspective.

[@Bree-bu3kj]

so true! I love "the way the world is supposed to work is you pass out of people's lives." Who can honestly keep in touch with everyone they meet and it's exhausting to feel like you have to show everyone what you're doing all the time. I totally agree with physically catching up with the people you care about in person!

[@ingridbynes1206]

I’m literally rolling with laughter right now! My stomach aches from how hard I’m cracking up! Effort is key! Yes, I don’t have a Facebook account; but, I still have an email address and a phone number. So, I wasn’t invited! LMAO! This happened to me with my high school reunion. I didn’t go because I wasn’t invited. I don’t have Facebook either, and I vanished from my Twitter accounts. What a waste! I feel you, Frank!😂😂😂😂😂

[@NikkiDocherty74]

Ingrid Bynes, I didn't go to any of my reunions but It hasn't anything to do with social media.

[@addictedtojack]

Hi FJ! Same feelings of being overwhelmed here... Had a Facebook account three times, not because I liked it, but because others liked it and convinced me to have one (very FE right? "if you like it, I'll do it"). Plus I was thinking that I should adjust to the current social trend, be more "open". I deleted it everytime after a few months ^^ Last time was in April :P Well maybe I'm just too cool for FB! Hahaha! Because I value real, meaningful relationships. I don't have many of them but just perfectly enough. I'm quite happy in the real world with a few great friends, my free time and peace of mind. While being on FB, I felt the opposite plus that constant pressure that I have to comment pics of others , post my own things , and they were never good enough in comparison to the stuff shared by "friends" . I told myself that I had to read everything, give a like , watch faces of unknown people who are being suggested to me as potential friends every f****g day! I hated the experience. Now, after my third deleted one, I feel free and don't think I'll go back again. So either Social Media sucks or Im the one who sucks because I'm ignoring the FB & co. Either way, I'm better off on my own. With youtube tho!

[@RoyalLearningTime]

I just found out a couple weeks ago I’m an INFJ every thing you are saying in your videos makes so much sense now to me! Thanks for your amazing videos

[@brandimclucas4679]

I have never had a social media account. My main reason is I don’t want people that I haven’t seen in a while or though about or that I might not even remember, be able to find me and try to reconnect. I don’t have anything to hide from, I just don’t want or need the extra stress of people. I do like people. I just like to be alone more. I typed the first paragraph before I listened to the video. Now that I listen to your reasons, I agree with everything you said. It’s like you were reading my mind.

[@atinuke6932]

I'm on social media. But I guess everyone has a genuine reason for being on it. Some people just want to show off. Some, like you said, are really nice people and just want to keep a record of sorts on their daily lives. I personally use social media to get info, laugh and to display my pictures (I'm a photographer)..so it's all about intent. But I agree that social media does lack that human/corporeal factor to it. I also don't like the whole world to know EVERYTHING about my life I like being mysterious

[@ashleydias2214]

Ok so ... this is channel is my life

[@flor3382]

I agree with you a 100%, not wanting to know bout people's lives and not wanting them to know about mine.. it's so draining :(

[@FaUnaCanzona]

I have never been able to explain this to others. It was awesome to hear this articulated!

[@fatmahamdi3467]

Once in a while I watch older Frank videos just to see how far he's come .

[@humanransom]

People think you weird because you don’t want to be like everybody else and you just value privacy

[@shannonhall2926]

So glad to hear someone else discuss these things! I'm like the only person I know who is so unsociable as to not do social media. But you're right, people are supposed to pass in and out of your life. That's the normal natural progression. But they never really go away as long as you have Facebook. I actually HAVE an account, which I can't even check, because FB tells on you when you sign in. That way, all the people I'm ignoring can clearly see that I was on last week, but didn't respond to the pictures they posted of enchiladas. 🙄

[@PlainsPup]

Totally agree with this. Not only are social media a time suck, they're also invasive, annoying, and frankly misleading. FB is bad, Twitter is worse. I used to be on them, but I deleted all my accounts. Now I'm free! Hooray!

[@rr7firefly]

Sometimes people get on social media due to peer pressure. One of my old college buddies takes it personally that I do not join Facebook. I stopped apologizing to him for not signing up. He has my phone number and email address yet he always finds an excuse why we can't talk. All I get is a very expensive Christmas card with two sentences. Your wise words coincide with my feelings on the subject. Thank you for leading people out of that mindless conformity.

[@neogbfe3587]

Noe Berengena, that was definitely me, per pressured into getting a FB account. I had one for about 8 years. Used it as a window of opportunity, it allowed me to gain insight. I’ve come to a conclusion, social media tells us a lot about an individual. If we look at someone’s page enough, it tells a lot about an individuals personality, behavioral patterns, and what they perceive themselves to be in status. It’s a tool that can be used for figuring out why individuals do things a certain way.

[@laraoneal7284]

I’ve never been on FB or anything except YT. I get overwhelmed by YT alone because I research constantly, politics, nutrition and psychology so to me that is more than enough. I blog on all these subjects also so it’s just more than enough. Plus since I’m not PC I’d be cut off anyway eventually. Thx FJ for addressing this.

[@jesssidney4251]

I’m so glad your doing these videos it’s helped me so much , I’ve spent years thinking im weird but seeing another INFJ talk about things I can relate to is like relief for me knowing im not the only one who struggles with “normal “ things like keeping relationships and socialising etc ......keep it up💛

[@danielamr6226]

Thank you! This is 100% like I feel and think about social media and why I have always tried them out to see how they work but then decided to never use them again.

[@tash4710]

Oh my gosh, I'm not alone in my thoughts?! I'm thinking of making an art instagram for the same reason you do youtube - to make and present something.

[@katrina4214]

Have another hit of dopamine, on me! YOU'RE WELCOME👍🏼

[@Sariah564]

Yes! I removed my social media a few years ago and since then I've had a hard time really trying to put into words why I did so. I think you've done a very nice job of explaining your reasons and I totally relate! Keep doing what you're doing FJ!

[@danicareynolds7552]

Salutations, Frank Here's a special whopping thanks to you again, for all that you do in making these videos. As an INFJ your videos have given me so much ever since I found your channel. I wish I could somehow be able to eloquently put into words to let you know ALL of what I've gained, learned, and taken with from all your videos and what they've meant for me. And all the other people I've been seen in the comments. This one had me chuckling and doing a gaggle of supporting gestures with my hands in 100% agreement the entire video. It is uncannily bananas as hell to me, that I'm not on social media either, for those very SAME exact reasons you said. I mean every single one of them!! You've done it again and so perfectly managed to describe what-the-what it is up with all the bullshitting and how it is just not for you and a place where you want to spend your time on! I've found it quite challenging to describe to others why I'm not at all on social media. In my experience, it comes across almost as taboo nowadays. Thank you for this! Next time, I'm directing them straight to your video. I definitely got to a point, interestingly enough, it was right around the time of the past election, where all of the bullshit being posted on social really soured my milk towards the world and how corrupted I feel everything has become. Corrupted, just as you said how when you used to go and show others photos it was a very and special interactive experience in sharing your scrapbook with someone. Or in horror, when you'd walk back downstairs to see your mother showing your honey your classic naked baby photos to them LOL Thank you, for this video. I've found it quite challenging for me to describe to others, why I'm not on social media why I can't stand it. The state of humanity it becoming increasingly more and more corrupted genuinely effects my state of being in the world. I have to give credit where it is due and tip my hate off to Instagram though. I immensely for all of the opportunities it opened for me in my process of writing a book as well! The only time I ever posted on Instagram, was for the sole purpose of writing the caption. It still blows my mind, but I was fortunate enough to develop and build a strong following of people from all over the world, because of the certain flavor of my captions. I'd always base them around nonchalantly planting lil' seeds I wanting to plant in the world in my own very unique and humorous style of writing. I can only imagine that writing those captions meant to me and were exactly like what these videos are to you! Losing my marbles over how you seemed to plucked the very pit of my peach on this and then most eloquently formulated it into the most perfect words; not just to describe it exactly as it is for me too, but in the way for others to easily be able to understand. Maybe even relate to? I appreciated how even though these are your reasons, you still made sure to include why other people may have them and how having social media, isn't a bad thing! It's just not for you, for these exact reasons. I really appreciated your example, of person potentially only having a facebook to talk to distant family members. I was that person for a very long time when I had gotten rid of all my other social platforms, but kept my facebook to talk to my family. I currently live in Utah, but my whole family lives clear out in, Florida. But here's the skinny that made me have to slap my knee. I have had soooooo many of the SAME exact experiences with my friends and me being the one who didn't go to a party, because I don't have facebook or anything. I HATE how this has become the norm. How people are accustomed to what on the surface, seems as to be everyone staying closely in touch, because they're all constantly updating their stupid, pointless, and fluffed up fake shit on their social media. I hated dealing with my friends getting so damn offended, if I didn't even know they were engaged, because I was constantly making the mistake of trying to reach out and call my friends I hadn't seen or heard from in a long time rather than going out and lightly stalking their profile to see how they were doing. I hated dealing with my friends getting so damn offended, if I didn't even know they were engaged and I'm still the very last one to find out everything, YOU SAID IT! I've missed so many events and parties from not having a facebook that's precisely what gently shoved me off the cliff of social media in the end too. I HATE how people are growing accustomed with not ACTUALLY talking to or spending any quality time and energy with others. You never know, what's really going on behind the fog of all these posts stating how it's all tweet-tweet outside and the sunshine of fake magical lives are nothing, but good times. I HATE how it "seems" as though we stay in the touch, but we do is never actually talk and all we do is text too much or not at all, but are expected to check and read their posts to know what's going on in their life. I 100% agree with you. I have been literally shouted this off the peak on the very tippy-top of Mount Timpanogos here in Utah. Literally shouted down off a mountaintop, at all the people down below, trying to warn them about "the end of the world" and how everything in our society, has gradually lost more and more of its quality. Everything is slowly being diminished in terms of the quality of its preciousness in life that people do not even realize, or simply choose not to recognize as such. Like I said, the state of society really, truly weighs down on my heart and deeply effects me. Sometimes, it bitters me. Sometimes, it even gives me a tiny nudge in the direction of full on losing all hope in humanity and adapting the late-lifestyle of the uni-bomber. Whoaaaa there! Don't fret! Minus all the bombs.... of course... But I honestly can see myself, dying alone in a remote cabin, high in the Wasatch mountains; quite happily in peace, if I might add. I deleted my Facebook and even though I rarely ever logged on, I couldn't the weight that was lifted from me. It was almost like being born again and cleansed of all the bullshit and from feeling the pressure and obligation towards it. I suspect there's probably a lot of other INFJ out there, whom feel the same way as we do. Also, just wanted to thank you again, for bringing me my very first sense of community, through your channel. You killed this video dude! THANK YOU!

[@makima6280]

Gives me anxiety. What, I have an assignment of following and liking ppl? But yes, I end up not having as many friends but staying true to myself instead.

[@foxx.on.saturn5143]

I don't have social media either I just don't think they're necessary I had them but I never used them I got bored and I hated the people on them I don't know It waste of time to keep it up to date

[@debhadden205]

I can say, "Amen" to everything you have said. I quit social media a year ago because I realized I was an avatar who was interacting with avatars and my avatar, a virtue signaling avatar was a very bad person. Since quitting I missed hearing about my niece expecting a baby, and the baby being born, and have only heard from one sister, my mother, and a cousin who needed information from me about eating food to support her cancer treatment. I have five siblings so those aren't good odds. Also since then I've learned enough Spanish to have a conversation with someone (in person and on the fly), started my own KZbin channel, led a Christmas concert of 50 youth where I was the pianist, cleaned up my house, and walked 20 miles per week, and took five classes on Udemy. My avatar friends and family are not interacting with me personally, but my local relationships in my community are growing stronger. Thanks for posting this video. It's nice to feel at home here.

[@elizabethbatchelor2914]

I understand staying off social media. I do use Facebook to keep in touch with old friends and family, and it has been great for that, but all of the reasons you listed, I do find are true. I learned to unfollow anyone whose posts are too negative for my personal well-being, and unfriend those who I believe are far too negative for me to interact with. I also do not keep Facebook on my phone and only use it for a short time between dinner and bedtime. I really enjoy your videos. Being an INFJ, myself, I find your video subjects personal and relatable. You also have a warm, funny, and intelligent personality, great for KZbin. It feels like you could be a good friend, to oh... 60,000 people or so. I'm loving what you are doing. And, also, I am glad that you are continuing to stay cool and attractive.

[@smilesmilelulu]

You said it : Events!!! It is actually the aspect of Facebook that pulls me towards it. Other than that I do see Facebook as information overload which makes it impossible to truly connect. Nothing will replace quality time : )

[@ananyasingh3565]

How do you bind my thoughts in such beautiful words?! Wish I could as well.

[@amydaynes]

I always feel weird and alone. You make me feel normal. Thank you.

[@paijey22]

You are so fricken real 💗 And open! I’m fasting social media right now, I’m shooting for 40 days...... I feel like I’m actually socializing instead of virtually socializing. Which is a great change for me! I might stay off “foe evah” ✂️🚮📵 thanks for the inspiration.