Friends' Richard - The One that Got Away

[@thetake]

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[@dannymichael808]

Monice and Chandler ❤️

[@blackbird2690]

Can you add a list of all the movies you mention and compare in your videos? It would be super helpful and I would love to watch the ones I haven't seen before just to get a better understanding of the comparisons if nothing else!

[@aideenmoroney1571]

Hey, what's the music you used in this video? Sounds so familiar it's bugging me

[@kamenriderblackman4426]

Why do you guys dislike Chandler or something?

[@eihposx3]

T

[@anuragarya6416]

His arc was pretty well handled imo. He is the "sexy, handsome masculine" fantasy, a little too perfect perhaps, and his relationship with Monica ends not because of some shenanigan, but a genuine difference in what they wanted for their lives. Chandler, on the other hand, is the goofy friend, your average guy, who grows WITH Monica, they work on their relationship, and end up having common life goals.

[@SilverAukahzy]

right on

[@artyfarty87]

Well said 👍

[@trinaq]

I agree, Richard might have been the dashing, sophisticated older gentleman that Monica THOUGHT that she wanted, but Chandler was the sweet, charming goof ball that Monica loved and needed! 💘👫

[@Silvercentipede]

Heyyy speak for yourself I had the biggest crush in Chandler, nah I 100% get what you mean though :) ❤️ I have a thing for self deprecating humour so I’ve always fancied Chandler lol

[@cazia9]

Yup, no where is this more evident in the episode when they're starting the wedding planning and Chandler says that he doesn't want to spend all his savings on a wedding, and he talks about the future of a home outside the city and children...Chandler sees the whole picture, the life that the wedding with Monica truly marks the start of

[@margauxb3591]

The age gap isn’t bad, but him knowing Monica from childhood is weird though

[@claymathews8814]

Mega Margaux so true. If i was Monica’s dad i would have been way more angry.

[@cynicalcenobia]

Yeah, but she was 'fat' back then, hence 'unattractive' (according to the show's logic), and hence he wouldn't have considered her that way. Apparently, and again, in the story, not even boys her age did.

[@claymathews8814]

cynical cenobia the fact that Monica’s attractiveness determines if the relationship is creepy is kinda messed up, dont you agree? Same goes for Richard, im sure if he was played by a less good-looking actor people would feel a bit different. But Tom Selleck is hot so its ok.

[@cynicalcenobia]

@@claymathews8814 You really can''t read, can you? I specifically highlighted that within the universe of the show Friends, 'fat Monica' was meant to be unattractive - it was a running joke pretty much throughout the whole series that men weren't interested in her in the past bc of her weight. So, no, I strongly doubt that Richard looked at her at 6 and thought: 'can't wait for her to be legal.' So do take your post-modern virtue-signalling feminist rubbish where it belongs: the depths of intentional misreading & stupidity. Thanks.

[@fruitbythebecbec7165]

Absolutely. If he was just an older guy, it would be fine. But the fact that he knew Monica as a child, it's just... It's a little weird.......

[@basstian]

As I read somewhere: 'If you could love the wrong person that much, imagine how much you can love the right one.'

[@PaulinaGallardoEnriquez]

But you build the right one, it doesn't magically appear.

[@007Julie]

That's beautiful.

[@mette9279]

I love that

[@neatofication]

Sebas Tian I could not love this post more.

[@freshpotato586]

After the most horrible divorce and heartbreak at a very young age, this has brought me comfort in very low moments

[@ΑΡΙΣΤΟΤΕΛΗΣΛΑΧΑΝΟΠΟΥΛΟΣ]

Richard: The one that got away Janice : The one that just wouldn't go away 😂😂

[@huajiluhai]

ΑΡΙΣΤΟΤΕΛΗΣ ΛΑΧΑΝΟΠΟΥΛΟΣ I literally laughed out loud

[@christianali5431]

OH... MY... GOD!

[@TheRealHelenaDeluca]

loooooool

[@tamitami479]

haha they are two guest actors that I love

[@aname2688]

amazin

[@justme-ji2il]

The age difference is weird but not nearly as weird as the fact that he probably HELD HER AS A BABY.

[@trinaq]

I second that, there's also the issue of him being her dad's best friend, and he likely saw her grow up in front of him, even if he never actually found Monica attractive until she was well in her twenties.

[@lh9591]

Maybe he imprinted on her, Jacob style.

[@raniasdfghjkl]

@@lh9591 YOU NICKNAMED MY DAUGHTER AFTER THE LOCH NESS MONSTER?!

[@eleven-hopper]

I don't think the age difference is bad because they are both legal adults, but I do think the fact that he knew her when she was little was weird. Still prefer them over Mondler anyday though

[@STDeLuna]

Tell that to Vic Sotto, a Filipino celebrity who literally carried his wife as a baby years before he married her. 😂

[@allisonfitzmaurice6948]

I feel like a lot of people give Monica crap for being a meticulous, competitive neat freak when in reality her strength is in her discipline and strong principles. She doesn’t stay with him because she knows she won’t have a happy future with him, and she builds something with Chandler because she knows him inside and out and sees a future with him, despite his previous romantic failures that could’ve scared her away. She’s the realistic friend who knows what she wants and works to get it, from her culinary career to her marriage and family she built with Chandler. Everyone might root for Rachel the first time they watch Friends, but rewatching it I loved Monica’s storyline more.

[@n.ami1505]

Her losing all that weight took a lot of discipline too.

[@loiracitr]

I love Monica. And Mondler is the best couple in the show

[@alinefischer1251]

YES YES YES!!!! I hate when Monica are judged exactly for what makes her so strong, and for someone like me, who loves discipline and organization, she's a sweet reminder that I'm not crazy, just a little bit Monica.

[@fasshunmonsuta3377]

Me too!

[@sarahagoune7006]

Totally. Monica is realistic, Rachel is more a dreamer. She works for what she has and her couple with Chandler is way more realistic.

[@Elphaba4Change]

I kinda got the impression that Monica felt she had to be perfect to keep Richard. Like she had to be the most mature, most together version of herself. But with Chandler, she could fully be herself warts and all. Richard was great for her but Chandler was the one who accepted her fully for who she was.

[@k_a_y_l_e_e]

absolutely nailed it.

[@quarantinedcosmonaut4082]

100%

[@JB-ys2cp]

Also if you think about it, if Monika had the whole struggling to birth a child issue with Richard, he most likely would have told her to give up as he never really wanted children anyway whereas Chandler did whatever it took to try and fulfil her dream of becoming a mother and finally found a solution. Richard would have never opted for adoption

[@sofia_rms]

Yess

[@gabistuts9646]

YUUUPPP THEY BROUGHT OUT THE BEST IN EACH OTHER

[@artemiswolf4508]

"Hooking up with Richard could be a way to seek validation from someone that may represent her parents" Thats just a very fancy way of saying Daddy issues

[@feraguilar4175]

"Mommy issues" but yeah

[@mollyshine20brown65]

It's "Parents issues"

[@raspberrycrowns9494]

Her dad wasn't all that bad tbh

[@remamili]

I'm thinking Electra Complex

[@LisaSimpsonRules]

Monica had parents' issues, not only with her father. Her mother was even more annoying.

[@drumptruck6268]

"we think we're still in love because we're trying to recapture who we used to be when we once loved them." beautiful writing, as always!

[@paloma4444]

Eh, that is not aleays true. Love can last.

[@ash-vd8zv]

We used to be idiots

[@penelopeclaire539]

I don't think the age gap would've been weird if Richard didn't know Monica until they were both adults, but knowing he was there to see her grow up does make it weird.

[@rachelsanchis]

@Jay Anthony WHAT?! Are you saying a man can't know a kid without sexualising her?

[@leoanything7285]

NewsFromNY you said that acting like it’s not weird when it IS weird.

[@AmbyJeans]

I agree. The age difference never bothered me. Him knowing her as she grew up and being her dad's best friend was creepy to me.

[@leoanything7285]

NewsFromNY the knowing her as a child part and the sleeping with the babusitter part

[@penelopeclaire539]

​@@rachelsanchis I mean yeah, nothing is wrong with that. As long as the relationship is two consenting adults on the same mental wavelength, who cares? I'd like to give your parents the benefit of the doubt and say your dad didn't see your mom in a more sexualized light until they were both adults. I don't think there's absolutely anything inherently wrong with that because it's specifically not predatory. And I don't think there's any reason for those people to be apart if they suit each other. But if I were either of the people in the relationship, it would make me feel weird and I would just try not to think about it too much. But weird does not necessarily equal wrong in my book. So good for them, I hope they continue their happiness for decades to come.

[@tylermankins2960]

"It's been Richard Richard Richard." ". . . .I've only mentioned his name twice." "Okay, Richard Richard."

[@prei1735]

😂😂😂

[@bekycybille1889]

Communication is key in a relationship

[@bricktam]

"I feel so bad for you. That's YOUR ex. And I have Richard

[@zzzzzzz906]

Richard dating Monica it's like Joey dating Emma in the future...

[@aryamanm2170]

u had to make it weird😂

[@monsterenergyfiendd]

@@aryamanm2170 its the truth

[@aryamanm2170]

@@monsterenergyfiendd but u dont say it out loud godammit..omg im gonna have nightmares now..

[@zzzzzzz906]

@@aryamanm2170 Hahaha I'm sorry

[@alinefischer1251]

Or in this case, Erica...

[@aein_21]

”When they started dating, Monica is in her twenties and just starting to figure out her life, while Richard is a settled grandfather. The milestones Monica looks forward to down the road are already in his rearview mirror.” wow this writing 💯

[@DominicanaChika]

I relate to this so much. 10 years ago I met someone, we became close friends, dated long distance then I broke things off because of the distance. We met up 6 years later, it was like we never stopped talking. We started dating immediately, and were old enough to handle the distance and made enough money to see each other. 4 years go by and we got married last month. 😊

[@lunarei9051]

Nymeria that’s amazing

[@SunflowerSpotlight]

Congrats! An awesome origin story! What a beautiful thing, through sickness and health to walk hand in hand with a partner, to know you won’t take the turns alone. I hope you have many happy years together.

[@rachelfox8359]

Nymeria, congratulations!

[@carlathedestructor2454]

Aawww

[@mcsunflower7182]

Noiceee

[@claymathews8814]

I dont mind the age difference, but the fact he was her dads friend is weird. One day he was holding his best friends new born baby, and 25 years later he was sleeping with her.... grosss

[@emc333]

Black Ninja it’s still weird idk how you can defend even whatever your reason is

[@trinaq]

I know, even though Richard and Monica were both adults when they started dating, it's still somewhat icky that he knew her from when she was a small child. 😳

[@scartdarcy]

@Black Ninja and it still sounds disgusting

[@oomay1925]

Yup imagine how the parents would have felt

[@الحمدلله-ذ9ز1ل]

Not really People focusing on age gaps rather than what the two acutely are at the moment and what they want is kind of annoying, they choose each other and both are adults

[@yingyang2838]

i like the way they handled Richard's storyline compared to David's. In some ways, David was also the one that got away for Pheobe and I think they should have handled it better than just shoving him so harshly for Mike (I like Mike but Jesus that was brutal)

[@fam6883]

Agreed! He just got back Minsk after a failed research project, he loves Phoebe so much since the beginning and his ending was humiliating.

[@AgnessaMo]

I think that David WAS Phoebe's endgame, after breakup with Mike, that would be the reason why they brought him back. But since the viewers loved Phoebe&Mike so much they rewrote the story in a - I gotta say - sloppy, harsh way.

[@Lucynnyu]

@@AgnessaMo exactly that was the original plan

[@yingyang2838]

Agnieszka M personally, i love david for phoebe more than mike. mike was kinda....meh. idk i just felt like there was so much build up with david and phoebe and to just squash their love story like that felt really shitty.

[@suzannerust8658]

Oh I loved David and sometimes when I'm rewatching Friends, I wonder if he might have been a better choice for Phoebe.

[@Chris-yp6zm]

Monica is the most relatable female character in Friends.

[@trinaq]

I agree, while Phoebe is my favourite of the three leading ladies, I've realized that I'm a total Monica, since I have her obsession with being clean, cooking, and looking after people! 🍳😂

[@Beaglegirl19]

@@trinaq You and me both. Monica has been my favorite of the girls since childhood but, as I get older, I realize I relate with her the most.

[@xxIluvyouguysxx]

Agreed. I love her and I see myself in her

[@dvchel]

@Chris I see why. Rachel is kinda like representing the "ambition" of females to be independent, strong but still loving and caring towards their kin.

[@-inactive-7000]

To me, that's Phoebe, although Rachel is probably my favorite, but I definitely see where you're coming from

[@4Distractiononly]

I'm so glad that Monica has said what she did about soul mates. It's ultimately the healthiest way to approach committed relationships. People can have more than one love but it's choices that define how we live afterwards.

[@Artnotforthesakeofart]

Hear hear!

[@vanpoison1104]

Amen

[@j.s6946]

Real

[@amberleysmith7158]

The Take is always trying to teach me the meaning of life. And I can't get enough of it.

[@paloma4444]

This is a pretty bad take tho

[@yvannab.1260]

Monica and Richard’s relationship made me so uncomfortable. He was a good guy and their relationship was good but the fact that he knew her when she was a child bothered me. Monica also dated his son so............ yikes

[@Thomas_of_the_forest]

Yeah, it's one thing for people to have large age gaps. I have no problem, as long as both are adults, and it's a genuine loving relationship But when it goes so far as the elder knowing the younger when they were a Child it's just weird.... 😳

[@trinaq]

Luckily, Monica and Tim, Richard's son, realized how icky it would be if they got together, and the other friends even lampshade it with "If things work out between you and Tim, you'll be able to tell your kids "That's not how your grandfather used to do it"! 😳

[@penelopeclaire539]

I remember finding out that richard had a son monica's age and I wished so hard that they had run into each other before grown-up Monica met Richard.

[@gabrielwjpg]

If she started dating Richard's son it would be super weird

[@dvchel]

@@trinaq Perhaps it would have been better if Monica dated Richard's son to begin with. ;)

[@Lalan396]

You should do an analysis on "respectable option vs risky romantic option" and the bias in which they're portrayed and how it changed over time.

[@MalloryNewcomb]

FIESTA FLANDERS Yeah!! They should do one on the love triangle of Elizabeth Swann, Will Turner and Commodore Norrington I’ve heard decent arguments for why she should’ve been with him. Bold move by Disney for them to encourage her to go with the risky romantic option

[@talkativeacademy4528]

@@MalloryNewcomb Since we're talking about Disney here, pairing her with Norrington would have been way bolder move.

[@amphalure]

pretty cool

[@davincent98]

Which one was Ross?

[@Lalan396]

davincent98- he doesn't fit in this trope. He's more of a "nice guy"

[@thekingofthefall72]

I feel like Ross should have been the one that got away from Rachel. After all they've been through and even having a child together should have shown them they just don't work together but their daughter and friendship keeps them close to each other. They both had huge impacts on each other's life but the relationship was a fail from earlier seasons and they both could have done great with Rachel and her dream job and Ross having the life he always wanted with a wife and children, just not Rachel

[@ioannnnnna]

Well, while that would have been more realistic it would have sucked storytelling-wise

[@mexsand2790]

Dude I totally agree Rachel deserved to get the career she dreamed about and honestly giving all that up for a guy

[@paloma4444]

@@mexsand2790 love will always mean more in the long run than a selfish personal goal

[@BeeKool__113]

I could not agree more!

[@zurzakne-etra7069]

@@mexsand2790 that could have changed, instead of letting them get together, the showrunners could have made ross go and live with rachel in paris.

[@bs4e]

I think it's Monica that got away. It's Richard who lost his chance.

[@neatofication]

bs4e ooooh. That’s true. I’m reframing my narrative in my own “the one that got away” story after this.

[@missgiroud97]

Me too. Im was looking this comment

[@misssoso5859]

Nah. He found love again.

[@feraguilar4175]

I don't think so, he's old enough to not need a romantic partner for life anymore. But Monica, of course, is better of with Chandler.

[@neatofication]

Fer Aguilar Aw!! That’s not a nice view of older ppl. I’m not that old yet but I’m 35 and I hope ppl don’t think about me like that if I’m still single at 55! Lol jeez.

[@Thisworldisagoner]

I recently broke up with my long term boyfriend. 7 years to be exact. He was perfect. A lover of books, movies and music. We loved art but in different notions and had a similar sense of humour. He saw me as who I am. Goofy and twisted and he loved me for that. But one day perhaps everything changed for him and then one day he left me. I have tried a lot to find faults in him but I can't see anything that would make me hate him, except the fact that he left me. And I see him as the one that got away. Even though we talk now and then, I feel like the person I knew died in a way and this new man, is not someone I recognise that well. Sorry for bringing down the mood in the comment section. I love Monica and I wanna find my own Chandler :'(

[@JaveriaYousuf]

Heyyy,, I hope you are doing good.

[@Thisworldisagoner]

@@JaveriaYousuf thank you for asking. I didn't even remember about this comment I made 7 months ago 😂😂 I have been well. Really well. I have accepted my reality and made peace with what happened. And almost happy making a life for me, myself and I 😋

[@JaveriaYousuf]

@@Thisworldisagoner yaaas. I'm happy to hear that. 💖

[@missmcphee8859]

How are you now?! 😊😊

[@yz1938]

The same thing happened to me recently and I completely felt what you felt. Hope you're doing much better now, and I know time will heal everything.

[@patroni8]

you guys probably think more about this show than the original writers for the show did

[@tyrant-den884]

Definitely, the writer's could never even remember their own canon. Joey: "I have only ever been in love once, with you [Rachel]." Season 3: "HELLO!!!"

[@ClairandHerImaginaryCat]

Tyrant-Den wait what happened in season 3

[@tyrant-den884]

@@ClairandHerImaginaryCat Joey has an intense relationship with this actress Kate, which was at least as serious as anything he felt for Rachel except it was also believable and not forced.

[@Crochetique424]

@Elisabeth Fitness I hv heard almost 14 writes worked on the show during its peak .

[@martifrey3357]

it's always easier to see things from almost 2 decades later than when the show was still running

[@WhelmedButReady]

Monica's love story is one of the most satisfying aspects of this show. All of her ups and downs were more than just new guy of the week. In just that one episode with the 17 year old I was completely sold those two belonged together as well. Age also drove them apart as much as it did Richard and Monica. It was like a reversed and miniature version of what was to come for Monica. I'm just glad she found love in the end

[@inayatahmed5828]

The difference between a guy you have to constantly impress and a guy you can be yourself with.

[@FabalociousDee]

It seems like the "lost love" thing is actually due to a refusal to evolve psychologically. Ultimately it's about being authentic and understanding your real needs & desires, and realising that as long as you're alive, there will always be a love that fits that in a real, healthy way. There are ALWAYS opportunities for love. That's the reality "The One That Got Away" doesn't show, and people end up feeling shitty as a result.

[@Kiuraish]

Well explained, thank you for writing this!

[@paloma4444]

@@Kiuraish I dont get their point

[@paloma4444]

There are loves that are special and nothing will ever compare. That is what the trope means.

[@zeezeeyu5683]

While I do agree with this, miss opportunities are real too. I know a number of people who did find their way into each other again and got married. They made it work as they've grown more mature enough to handle the relationship better.

[@FabalociousDee]

@@zeezeeyu5683 Again, it's about being authentic & understanding your needs, and evolving in a healthy way. You may reunite with somebody and you may not. The point is that there is never just one opportunity to find someone who fits.

[@Gaby-bx3cv]

As I got older I am still confused as to why Monica expected someone like Richard to still want more children. I mean he had grandchildren at that point and it really showed her naïveté for even considering it. Hell I’m near her age now and want the same things she does (a marriage with children) so I wouldn’t have come close to him at all. Monica was a smart woman until it came to Richard. Someone once told me it was because she was playing the standard relationship steps with him when that isn’t the case. Richard was absolutely perfect if she was much older and had lived her life but not her now. Chandler was her soulmate and their really perfect together. If Monica and Richard has children, eventually another obstacle would have come up like his other kids not liking her.

[@zhirraffa]

The age doesn't stop many, many other old men have children so it is not completely insane to think that a man who is in love with a woman might want to have children with her.

[@Amy-Wan-Kenobi]

My parents have a 20 year age difference. My dad already had kids from a previous marriage before marrying my mom, and it was him, not my mom, who really pushed for kids even though he was older.

[@penelopeclaire539]

Chandler and Monica didn't believe in soulmates though. Their relationship worked because they made it work.

[@radhiadeedou8286]

But it happens, you sometimes see men with kids in their 20s or 30s from a first marriage, having babies with their young new wife

[@PrincessSybilla77]

They did break up in a good and mature way. He realized that she wanted children and she realized his heart wasn’t into it. They still cared about each other in the end. He’s really a great guy

[@MalloryNewcomb]

Richard is my favorite supporting character on Friends. I knew about Tom Selleck but never saw his work before this show & now I love him! What a talented actor, one of those guys whose warm soul just radiates through the screen

[@CaladonianQueen]

'I've only slept with women I've been in love with'~Richard Burke, demisexual icon

[@MalloryNewcomb]

Kate Roy I remember that and being like that’s quite the way to confess you love Monica and also I felt that line but as a straight female

[@humanoide7076]

Isnt that how it supposed to be though?

[@SunflowerSpotlight]

Humanoide #707 That’s what my Dad always says. But I think the distinction isn’t just that you only have sex with people you feel strongly connected to emotionally, but you don’t really feel... aroused by someone until you form a mental bond. They’re not really seen as a prospective love interest until they fire up your mind and establish common ground. You can notice someone is extremely attractive or in revealing clothes without having a sexual response. But at some point the switch gets flipped. I think it’s part of why I think the saying, “It meant nothing to me,” when an affair is discovered is the worst thing in the world to hear. If you’re going to ruin everything, all the trust in the relationship, it BETTER the hell be for the true love of your life you found belatedly. If it’s... just some no one and a cheap trifling thing you could so easily have passed on, and merely didn’t feel the need to... why is that somehow better!?!? I do wonder if demisexuals have more secure marriages, due to less cheating and being married to someone they have a common bond with before they dealt with intense sexual urges. Being married to your best friend is kind of the best thing ever.

[@amityislandchum]

"Demisexual" is a distinction that doesn't need to exist. I don't get why so many people are obsessed with making identities out of who they fuck.

[@spemka]

sharksandsheep it kinda does need to exist though. Not finding someone attractive unless you build a bond with them isn't all that common. Most people do find themselves sexually attracted to people they barely know; the thing is, if you don't act on it, it doesn't mean you're not into them, it means for instance your morality doesn't let you sleep with someone you barely know, it's your way of thinking, not the fact that you don't find them hot. Being unable to see someone sexually unless you build a relationship with them is different than that. And if those people want their label, why not ? I think it's cool how different we all are, why not express it if you need to?

[@sarasamaletdin4574]

Monica and Richard is why you need to discuss over big things like kids immediately. People are unlikely to change their mind about these things.

[@grafinvonhohenembs]

Ahhh the Richard Era. Still my most favorite episodes to this very day.

[@XDAliyaXD]

Fleabag and the priest were also meant for each other but the timing was wrong, I hope you make a video on the series one day

[@Jacksabbath44]

not really, meant for fleabag maybe, but for him? she literally made him the worst he could possibly be, and we still don't know how is going to turn out for her, she still has a lot to deal with

[@ives6622]

@@Jacksabbath44 I agree with you even tho I ship them. But the ending where they split up is still one of the most gut wrenching scene ever.

[@Den.Vos.Reynaerde]

This 'Fleabag' isn't a 10-year old altar boy I hope?

[@ives6622]

@main I'm 99% sure it was a joke. No need to get defensive.

[@Den.Vos.Reynaerde]

@@ives6622 It was.

[@isabellabass5346]

Here's the thing, I agree it's weird that he knew her as a kid. However, he hadn't seen her in many years when they started dating, and she looked completely different. It's not like he was waiting for her to turn 18 or something. I don't mind their relationship. That being said, Chandler and Monica are the best TV couple of all time.

[@gigigiooo]

Isabella Bass he didn’t even recognize her when he saw her again too

[@iiamromika]

that’s like saying it would not be weird for Joey to date Emma later in life

[@1hcc994]

@@iiamromika wouldn’t compare the two since he sleeps with all of New York and probably California which is where he moved too in his show.

[@nxssa7272]

Her and Richard practically being family is weird. It would be like if joey ended up dating Ross and Rachel's daughter Emma

[@pyenme]

I think you just described Jacob dating Bella and Edward's daughter..... LOL (I am ashamed to think I know "Twilight" to be able to make a joke with it...)

[@SunflowerSpotlight]

PBK K Hey, I have Spice Girls lyrics in my memory where scientific equations should be. 🤷🏻‍♀️ We all have our faults. 😜

[@---wv4ul]

Johnnessa Germain especially because joey and rachel had some history

[@Crochetique424]

I feel more like if dated Erica considering Chandler is his best friend .

[@tammymartinez7488]

@@Crochetique424 Chandler and Monica would be so mad a Joey!

[@kristianzacarias773]

I really love how Chandler and Monica are each other’s bestfriends, guardians and coaches; I love how they change, motivate and keep each other in check (Chan with his awkwardness, Mon with her neuroses). I do think they’re more perfect for each other, in a way, and that’s a pretty great choice. Thanks, The Take! Big fan. Hope you can make a ChanNica video ❤️

[@ichapuung]

The relationship is exactly like Ted and Robin's. And this is how they're supposed to end up. Separated on good terms.

[@symmetrykidkun8]

Ugh, please don’t compare Richard to Ted...

[@Lola_Sokolskiy]

Agreed

[@monabohamad2242]

@@symmetrykidkun8 yes I agree don't put down one of them in order to lift the other up please

[@screenshotscenes]

exactly! implying that the woman should divorce a guy who was perfect for her just to get back together with the guy who wasn’t suited for her AT ALL once he got the stuff he wanted and she didn’t is shitty writing. it would be the same as if monica got together with richard once she got the kids he didn’t want from another man. also, I agree that richard and ted shouldn’t be compared, ted is way worse than him.

[@caro2233]

i don't know... ted and robin... they just don't fit in my opinion... ted's too needy... robin's strong and independent...

[@chocolatemilkhotel96]

It's like that phrase "when you make a choice, you essentially eliminate all your other choices"

[@bef9612]

Now fast forward 10 years, Chandler dies of an "unspecified illness" and Richard stands outside of her apartment door holding up a wine glass. Oh, wait, wrong sitcom? Crud.

[@pixiedust8545]

Is the rose from beyond the grave

[@bef9612]

@@pixiedust8545 No I just made a cheap shot at How I Met Your Mother

[@firmanchristiansianturi4794]

Ah, Robin should've stayed married to Barney and Tracy shouldn't have died

[@j.s6946]

It could be happend

[@screenshotscenes]

until now I never realized how mondler is another proof of how terrible himym ending was

[@Vashtibucket]

I know this video was just meant to unpack the “the one who got away” trope through Friends’ Richard but I think I may now have the closure that I’ve needed for the last 10 years, so thank you guys. I’m subscribed.

[@komal146]

One that got away went away for a reason.

[@paloma4444]

That reason may be dumb tho. Or no longer apply

[@ozymandias7372]

@@paloma4444 depends

[@ozymandias7372]

@@user-nv3sh5jh3p I'm not denying the possibility of it said by Raul. I said it, it can be dumb depending on whose perspective it is.

[@xotbirdox]

I adore Monica and Chandler's relationship so much but Monica and Richard is a close second. As someone who is usually only attracted to older men, I loved the representation of age-gap relationships that it gave. It didn't matter how many years apart they were, they were still portrayed as in love and not at all abusive. I really appreciated that as there is so much stigma out there about age-gap love. Plus, it was just a really good and well-written relationship. They had phenomenal chemistry. I miss FRIENDS so much. 💔

[@arialifeless]

I've had a Richard, and to this day it still hurts that we are not together---because I really thought he was my Chandler.

[@Thisworldisagoner]

Same here. I thought we were my favourite couple, Monica and Chandler. Nope. Didn't happen. I am just hopeful for ever finding my Chandler.

[@duolingoowo4855]

The age difference isn’t the weird part. It’s the fact that he knew her since she was a baby while he was an adult.

[@berlineczka]

I kept thinking about HIMYM and the fact that Robin should have stayed in the Richard role for Tod. It was made very clear that they want other things in life, and they grew apart (not in the sense of falling of, but rather in the sense that they solidified their relationship as a friendship and it was clear that there was no coming back to the early days) in the later seasons. Sadly, the writers for HIMYM didn't learn from Friends.

[@X_nien_vh]

berlineczka this is so true. we have seen so many reasons why Ted and Robin didn’t work out romantically... and then we get that ending.

[@foreveronmywaytofuckyourbi5567]

Here's the thing about the ending, the only reason Robin and Ted wouldn't work out young is because Ted wanted a family, after he built one and his wife died, it makes sense to go back to a friend you Care for deeply, it would have been fine if Tracy wasn't such a great person lol

[@hippieatheart90]

I totally agree. I think that's the reason why the HIMYM-Finale was awfully received. Both characters got the chance to evolve and find their right fit (Ted found Tracy, Robin took care of her career and found Barney) but the writers probably still were so in love with their original idea of Ted and Robin ending up together that they just couldn't let it go. When in a better world they should've had the balls to change their originally planned ending.

[@maximussaktish]

who the hell is tod

[@monabohamad2242]

@@X_nien_vh Nah that stuff was probably nothing more than just a bunch of excuses to keep them apart until the ending

[@kitchensinkchronicles3272]

i have no issue with the age gap itself, just that he knew her when she was a child. if they had met as adults i wouldn’t have thought of it as creepy at all.

[@BabyGirlTiny]

But people grow and perception changes. I dont know why people dont understand this.

[@silenceisbetterthannonsense]

Homez18 That’s somewhat true but he was there to hold her as a baby and most likely there to change her diaper, refill her bottle, rock her to sleep, etc-she probably even considered him an uncle at one point in time. How do you go from holding your best friends baby, then 20 something years later you’re having sex with that same child?

[@monabohamad2242]

@@silenceisbetterthannonsense well their not even a frigging child anymore are they?

[@janet3507]

I love Chandler so much but I will forever have a soft spot for Richard

[@JumbleJammyJokes]

The writers did well to integrate Richard within the group when he was with Monica, and he was a welcome presence whom everyone seemed to like. And yet I never felt the same way about Mike. He always felt so separate from the others (except Phoebe) and there was never a sense the group liked him, or even acknowledged him as anything other than an extension to Phoebe

[@imsickoflifeanditstactics5063]

I guess it has to do with the fact that Richard came early and Mike came late. In earlier seasons, the cast wasn't nearly as close as they became later on so, Richard was easily welcome. But by the end the 6 of them had become so strong that nobody could get in that intimate circle of friends. Not just Mike. And Richard was awed and charismatic and they looked up to him. While mike was a little awkward and not really interested in the stuff that the group usually got up to.

[@nizjus3234]

I thought that was great, that he didn't feel the need to blend in, be liked, he just wanted to be with her

[@screenshotscenes]

that’s a realistic representation tho not every single one of your friends significant other is gonna get along with the friend group also another huge difference is the fact that rachel and monica still lived together and joey and chandler were right across the hall so anytime richard was at her apartment he was automatically surrounded by the group while phoebe lived separately.

[@SanjanaSharmaCagedHues]

This video essay was like sitting through a therapy session after it has been some time after a breakup. I often find myself coming back to this particular one, cause it's simply incredible. Take a bow, team! ❤️

[@The-bi5ry]

I don't know why, I just can't hate Richard. It's Tom's charm for sure. Like how could you hate him?! They had such great chemistry.

[@karenharris722]

Yeah, he was a 'hottie' in those days for sure!

[@aprils1372]

This hit me so hard... I dated an older man that changed my life and I loved so much. We went back and forth, and back and forth, but timing was everything. Knowing the man I love , already had those big moments"in the rearview", was heartbreaking, knowing I wouldn't be apart of those moments. And again he was such a beautiful, manly "standard", it was everything that was right on paper, but not what practically would work out. Such hard in my feels. Walking away from someone you love, who is so perfect, but just not timed right, has changed my whole view on how love truly consumes, but enlightens, you.

[@dr.braxygilkeycruises1460]

One of my favorite lines of any episode is while Chandler and Monica are eating the pizza and he's saying he doesn't want to get married. When she says are you serious, his response is, *"Hey, put down your copy of The Rules, Man Trap!"* I nearly pass out laughing every time I see that episode. They make me laugh and then when they propose to each other, it's beautiful. Monica and Chandler are the only Friends characters that I liked throughout the entire run of the show.

[@roeliethegoat]

Man, I loved these two together. He adored her quirks and she felt so confident around him. I always felt Monica learned from Richard and she respected him. Two traits I kind of missed in Mondler. There Monica was the mature one. Nothing wrong with that. But I loved Monica's personality better while with Richard.

[@beebikinis]

Society can definitely favour Richard&Monica type of couple dynamic over Chandler&Monica. Maybe the appeal is that it's seen as more traditional, and romantic.

[@sabrinafrni64]

Lol Monica dated Richard because of fucked up daddy issues it’s not respect it’s creepy fatherly admiration. Hers and Chandler is more natural, friends and equals relationship

[@xJackDarkStonex]

There was a moment in the show where it was actually chandler leading the way in the relationship. So it eventually balances out. (Then they have a final shift where they both are walking hand in hand, forward)

[@sabrinafrni64]

xJackDarkStonex Exactly they’re equals, Chandler is simply subtle when he leads the relationship (like the adoption, it’s all him). Monica was admiring Richard not really respecting him in an equals way, because she was jobless and so scared of her parents, it was Freudian

[@DaiizR]

Black Ninja Idk Richard and Monica were a really good couple but you can’t compare the love Monica and Chandler have for eachother. I love how chandler convinced their surrogate to let them have the baby and he did it in such a beautiful way and there’s so much more .Chandler needs Monica and Monica needs chandler .

[@aayushdas9267]

I never minded the age gap, their relationship was just so good!!!

[@Sam-0827]

Richard was the one for monica. Chandler was also the one. It's contradictory, but so sad. I remember how stressed I was when Richard came back, because Chandler was there for her

[@cynicalcenobia]

Hmmm...Might be time for a video on the older men-younger women relationships on screen? Modern Love most recently dedicated a whole episode to this.

[@penelopeclaire539]

I would love this! And then if that video does well, I'd like to see the older woman younger people dynamic and how it contrasts. I feel like people are ready to judge women who date younger than their age group a lot quicker than men that do the same thing. And that's probably just because it's more common for men. But it's an interesting topic. And though the trope is focused on straight relationships (because honestly what isn't?), I'm interested in learning about the few queer examples that must exist in media.

[@christianali5431]

@@penelopeclaire539 Do you know what Pederasty is?

[@roniieeem5031]

@@penelopeclaire539 Really..? I've seen opposite..at least in the modern times. That was the case mostly in the past

[@debhino4517]

I really needed to watch this video, I was wanting to get back with my ex but things aren’t the same and this really helped so thank you for your timing

[@frosinicapandispan5534]

Hugs! They never are the same, and you risk ruining the beautiful memories you left behind. Be strong!

[@Thisworldisagoner]

I broke up too. And somehow I end up thinking about how it would be like if we meet again many years later and both are single. Will we hit it off again. But then I try to remember how he left me. If he can do that so easily, I don't think he deserves me.

[@purilaw.]

"What's perfect on paper, is not always make sense to you." ❤

[@chichi77tim]

I honestly think of him as the MOST attractive man I have ever seen, both phisically and emotionally. His character represents, for me, the ideal male. No other actor or character ever came that near to my perfect ideal. And that's why I was so sad when he stood aside. Hold on, I LOVE Chandler, and I was very happy for him when Monica didn't "betrayed" his affection. But Richard is... well, Richard. And the fact that he showed no remorse and was incredibly, unconditionally generous didn't helped. I will always remember that ending as bitter sweet.

[@Svengali764]

If it was Tom Selleck, age wouldn't even matter. What a long cool tall glass of drink that man.. whew!! Quarantine is getting me.

[@Takisan111]

I'm not into older men, but something about him keeps bypassing that. He just has this air about him, ya know?

[@Svengali764]

@@Takisan111 yes. Yes YES! The suavity,. The old world charm, that deep voice, that dimples! All men crush come and go.. Selleck is a fine wine 🥰

[@Svengali764]

@Laverne Blaszczyk the jaw tho!

[@Lilah_Ninigigun_Belet-Eanna]

The chest hair does it for me...purrrrrr 😻😻😻

[@Svengali764]

@@Lilah_Ninigigun_Belet-Eanna Oooooooh yeah!!

[@roonarific1086]

'the one who got away' reminds me of Gone With The Wind. Scarlett spends pretty much the entire movie pining over Ashley. When she eventually gets him back, she realizes the relationship was in her head, he never really loved her. It's after this that it hits her that Rhett loved her from the start, she was just too blinded by her fixation on Ashley to see it.

[@LiogCeartas]

Monica is my favorite character on Friends. I identify with her the most and her relationship with chandlers was the first solid thing amongst their friends after having watching repeatedly Ross and Rachel and their ups and downs. Each not learning from the previous relationship. Monica and Chandler to me was what I looked for.

[@JadionSkywalker]

Welp there you go again "The Take" bringing relevant issues when I be in my feelings.

[@paloma4444]

Their take on the trope was kimda bad tho

[@JadionSkywalker]

@@paloma4444 How come?

[@memegimygimy1526]

I’ve been saying for years that timing has WAY more to do with relationship success than we’d all like to believe.

[@jdax21]

I love Chandler, but damn I love Richard, too, and frankly, I'M not over him.

[@maiaklimenko6614]

I totally get why they worked out. I mean, Monica is a highly mature confident and beautiful woman while Richard is also confident gentle and hones gorgeous-looking man. They both are a good catch, so no wonder they fell for each other. I feel sorry that people frown upon the couples with age gaps, it's not like she's 16

[@solitarysurreal3652]

I met my "one who got away" about 5 years ago now, when I was on the cusp of 25 years old. At the time, I was dealing with undiagnosed PTSD, had a job that went so bad I contemplated suicide and spent so much time trying to look out for other people, I wasn't looking out nearly enough for myself. So I consider my "one who got away" experience developmental - I didn't need romance at the time. I needed friendship and support. When I let go of the illusion of romance and put the idea behind me, I made a lifelong friend. And by discovering what my personal values were and properly focusing on them after getting through that time, I became somebody I actually respected.

[@Seya02]

They were perfect! I loved them together! It's so sad that he's the one who got away.

[@bisexualichigo4227]

Oh No! The title came in a bad moment of my life. s A d N e S s

[@lo_Ovung]

Awww I hope things get better for you

[@SadiTonmoy]

@Bisexual Ichigo I believe this video will help you to heal. It certainly gave me a chance at closure which I didn’t have! :')

[@penelopeclaire539]

Sending good vibes, hope you get them

[@xxIluvyouguysxx]

ME

[@SunflowerSpotlight]

The thing my mother’s always told me (and she really IS a very wise woman) is that if you subscribe to true love, this IS a stepping stone to helping round out your edges so you can be ready to take that step hand in hand with your perfect person. And if you don’t subscribe to the true love idea, people date multiple people the vast majority of the time. Eventually the odds will play out in your favor, but you have to keep trying to make that work, if not by looking for love, then by keeping your heart always open to it. Take time to grieve the future that might have been, the you you might have become. It IS a very real loss. An entire possible lifetime. But now, all the other possibilities are open to you. Keep your chin up, your heart open, and you will find your way. Hang in there.

[@Svetlana-su4xi]

I’ve had that kind of relationship, he did a huge impact on me. I really grow like a person in them. And glad that I let them go. Thank you so much for this video! It’s not only about movies but about real life too.

[@hellofellows1]

I didn't think the age gap should factor at all when I saw the show in college. They are adults. However when I watched it again when I was nursing my infant girl and considered how I would feel if she grew up and started dating my husband's best friend, Monica's parents reaction to the relationship was a whole lot more relatable.

[@teresablue2553]

This really affected me. I definitely know the first time I fell out of love sucked. I thought he was the one for me for so long (especially since I had grown up alongside him) only to realize we had changed so much we were no longer meant for each other. Now, I have a crush almost as big on someone else. I know it won't last but that doesn't mean it's not absolutely wonderful to flirt with her. My point is that I think you got the nail on the head with this video--that romanticism is lovely but often difficult to work through. It's hard to stop trying to make your life onto a fairytale.

[@faridmyd]

I'm not a big Friends fan, but this video came up in autoplay and it really resonated with me. One of my exes recently passed away and I always had this "the one that got away" feeling towards him. So now having you guys talk about it just made it more real. Thanks for the video, really.

[@hippolyte90]

I'm amazed Jane Austen's Persuasion wasn't mentioned in this video. It's the ultimate 'fantasy fulfilled'.

[@MegCazalet]

Being someone’s One That Got Away is no fun. My ex came to my wedding, because we were still friends and part of a cherished friend group. One friend later told me our other friends were dreading the “if anyone here has any reason why these two people shouldn’t be together” part, as if he might do something, and has even talked to him before. (We didn’t include that part anyway because it’s a leftover from another time and wasn’t intended for dramatic declarations of love anyways, but really legitimate reasons like in Jane Eyre.) It really shook me to find out I was “the one that got away” for someone else. It’s been many many years now, and we have lost touch entirely. I think that was part of the reason. He would only call when his girlfriend wasn’t home, and it just felt wrong, and it felt like pressure. I miss him but I fear seeing him again, because I don’t want to turn out to be a disappointment. I don’t want the real me to be unappealing. It’s a self-esteem thing now, and damn does it feel icky. I need to work on that. The one I have built my life with and the only one I could ever have been truly happy with loves me, and I love him, despite our aging and no longer being 25 and fabulous and exciting.

[@thenewclassic4]

He is so handsome, looks like Burt Reynolds and he is so classy and James Bond-y, I used to root for him with Monica but now that I know Chandler and Monica, they're unbeatable in my eyes

[@jenynz5334]

Hehe, I often mistook Burt and Tom for each other when I was a kid.

[@elizacarrie7433]

14:25 I was just helping a friend struggling with a breakup work through it on this principle. When you fall in love it’s amazing because you feel the love of another person, but that feeling exists in YOU, and people with long distance relationships they find fulfilling are proof that it’s not required to be sustained with constant contact. It’s an emotional connection to your idea of who that person is that you’re loving. So when you’ve been disillusioned, or broken up with, sometimes people have a moment where they say “our love was a lie” because the other person didn’t really feel the same. It’s comforting to remember your love wasn’t a lie, it was real and important to you. It’s just wasn’t the same memory the other person will hold onto

[@somebody7070]

Tracy being the stepping stone in Ted's life just so that he can get back with Robin is so so fucked up and sad ....more realistic than we would let ourselves think.....

[@ShinjiniBose13]

Omg yes. This is the perfect analogy

[@1hcc994]

Like she didn’t want kids so he did that with someone else then when he was done got with her. Messsed up.

[@snowflakes7344]

The thing that I found creepy about their relationship wasn't their age gap, but the fact that she knew him since she was a baby.

[@NileshKumar-nr2vj]

The fact that "The Take" can make a 22 minute video on Richard as well 😱😱

[@MaayaD1]

I was randomly thinking about Friends and trying to remember how Richard was introduced in the show just last night, and then this video was uploaded! Great analysis as always and loved that your included that Bojack clip, pretty much sums up the whole video

[@Zaiblm]

I mean Richard may have been Monica’s soulmate but at the end of the day she doesn’t believe in soulmates and CHOOSES to be with chandler and to work on their relationship

[@shawnaseniw8692]

You referenced "Before Sunset???" Love it!! These videos are amazing, on every level. Don't know how you always get to the psychology of it.

[@icantthinkofaname6991]

Shawna Seniw I hope they make a video about this beautiful movie

[@spj4you]

That's the part where I cried. That series is perfect to me in all its fantasy and reality.

[@cflores5683]

Oh God I actually forgot about the how I met your mother ending. It was in the past long forgotten and then this video brought back that terrible memory.

[@monabohamad2242]

It's only a terrible memory because of whiny people

[@lauramiranda7767]

I have a lost love who lives in the Netherlands. Every time I think about him, I watch this video. I'll never know and neither will you of the life you don't choose... we will only know that whatever that sister life was, it was important and beautiful and not ours..." I truly felt that. This video makes me think about possible future scenarios happy and sad ones. We will never know what the future brings. Whatever happens, I will never be same... and for that, I must thank him.

I would actually rather say that he wasn't the one that got away... He was the one who made her realize, that she needed to let go of guys like him, if she truly wanted her happy ever after

[@leeleecassidy7175]

"Guys like him"? 😂 What was wrong with Richard? He loved everything about her and wanted her to be happy. He was hardly some Patrick Bateman-type character.

@@leeleecassidy7175 what I meant by "guys like him" is, guys who aren't on the same page as her, in regards to what she wants out of a relationship (there was probably some father issues there as well but that's a whole other story)...

[@MegCazalet]

Sometimes people just want to have “the one that got away” to say they have one. It somehow feels like it legitimizes your dating history and that you’ve been through something more, when you feel lost and lonely. But don’t give up hope.

[@noodle9993]

It’s interesting watching the second series of Fleabag because Phoebe Waller-Bridge based the entire concept of that entire season on the “one who got away”, the person who makes you grow and mature along with changing your life, but it still doesn’t work out, and you don’t realise it until the very last scene

[@marianamoraes7280]

I absolutely adore Monica and videos about her! Please, could you consider maybe doing a video about her troubled relationship with her mother? Thank you, love you girls!

[@Showtunediva]

I want to see this video too so that why I can find out if there is truth behind the fan theory that Monica is not Jack’s daughter.

[@caballerosalinasmariana7881]

We need the take about Mondler!💜

[@dvchel]

@Mariana Caballero I thing there is already one. At least about Ross/Rachel for sure.

[@caballerosalinasmariana7881]

@@dvchel there is Ross/Rachel, Phoebe/Joey, that's why we need Mónica/Chandler

[@carlottahrg]

Chandler when Richard and Monica were still together: “Your boyfriend is SO COOL” Chandler when he and Monica were together and Richard came back to tell Monica that he still loves her: “I hate that guy!”

[@Frostbyte_coser]

The fact that this was on point to my own experience... this explained everything I've been through... thank you for this video 💖

[@paloma4444]

Eh? I found their take on this kinda bad

[@Frostbyte_coser]

@@paloma4444 i respect your opinion but as someone who went through the same dilemma, i understood their context completely

[@DominicanaChika]

@@Frostbyte_coser I second this, I had one that got away but we reconnected 6 years later. Then 4 years later we got married last month 😊

[@Frostbyte_coser]

@@DominicanaChika omg congraatss

[@bluegreenglue6565]

People can't believe my late husband and I had a rom-com relationship: dated very briefly in high school, were not-too-close friends after we broke up (still in high school), and lost touch for 18 years during which I wondered if I had missed out on the one man with whom I might be compatible. Once we got back in touch (through friends), it was quite clear our pasts, our common experiences, even the abusive relationships we had both endured had only prepared us to be perfect for each other. I had him for 16 years before cancer snatched him from me (this year), and this is where I believe the tropes come to an end. For me, there is no "love after loss." I don't believe in soul mates, or people being "destined" for one another. Once in a while, people grow in such a way that makes them fit well with other people. That is good fortune, but the trope of the widow(er) who finds a just-as-perfect love after loss is too far fetched for me to ever believe.

[@M3l155a]

Ugh Richard was EVERYTHING.

[@hollymurphy3742]

This makes me very emotional. One reason being on FRIENDS side of things is because I’ve always loved Richard. I always wanted him and Monica to be together. And 2) I just love this video. thank you for making it. Seriously. I know I may sound overly emotional but, gosh. This really digs deep down into how you relationships can teach you so much and that not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever. Not everything is supposed to become beautiful and long lasting. Sometimes it’s just there to teach you some things or get you through a certain period in your life. And that’s okay. We just have to enjoy the relationships as they’re meant to be and enjoy them in the moment.

[@hinney827]

Why in the world are we idealizing this relationship? It is beyond creepy for Richard to go after Monica. She is the daughter of his lifelong friend. He knew her as a small child while he was already a man. Horrifically disgusting.

[@Lukearthwalker]

Just wow... the insights and thought that have gone Into this video, I keep thinking is that you two must be some really incredible human beings. Thanks for another fantastic video, you've again knocked it out of the park.

[@schwärmerei]

Sometimes the feeling of what could’ve been is stronger than what actually happened because the memory of perfection lasts longer. - Dante Basco. and he was right