Friends With Intimacy: Balancing Boundaries, Emotions & Connection

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Күн бұрын

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@gw6482 5 сағат бұрын

Omg what an episode! It’s so funny because in the last couple of years I started developing these relationships with a handful of nice friends, and we have such a great time. I hadn’t tried it before because I was always looking for a relationship, but now that I’m in an open marriage and they know about it, many of them are or have been in open relationships, so they know. We all can just be honest, have fun in bed, but also go out and enjoy other stuff. Even my husband has met a few, sometimes we all are at parties or clubs together. There’s no relationship drama with anyone, it works great! Of course it took me a long time to be comfortable with these dynamics, it’s not for everyone.

@Daughter_diaries 2 күн бұрын

This is good! Love the open conversation around this 🙏🏽

@Mathew_Ryan111 4 күн бұрын

I think Michael's question at the very end was important b/c it reminded us there is another person in the equation. He asked what do you do/how do you feel if your Friend with Intimacy is seeing other people? The rest of the conversation before that was more a "how to" for FWB situations, but we need to remember it's not like ordering a pizza. There is a whole other person involved who may or may not be on the same page, a person who is equally as important and valuable as we are. It's good to communicate what YOU want but communication is a two way street. Also be willing to be flexible, agile, and open. We change as we evolve. We even saw this in how Michael feels about his current situation. He set a clear intention for his Summer of Michael, he did everything that looks good on paper and was true to his intention. But then something else happened/life happened. I guess my best advice is be present at all times and communicate if anything has changed since the beginning. And remember it's. not. just. about. YOU.

@Mathew_Ryan111 4 күн бұрын

When you tell a potential FWB, "I don't want you to be part of my social circle," be prepared to answer why. I imagine hearing those words out loud could have an impact especially for a sensitive person. Is it the equivalent of "You can't sit with us?"

@toadstooltarot 4 күн бұрын

This is helpful. As always, communication is key.

@t-shizzle4453 2 күн бұрын

Love you guys and watch a lot of your videos. I have a very hard time with ;this subject. I am more demisexual and have tried the FWB thing and it has never worked for me. Obviously hooking up is not an option for me because i just cant get into it. So i have had no intimacy or sex in well over a year. I have no gay friends because most have expected FWB to come with the friendship which as i mentioned, never worked for me so the friends i wanted never worked. I am super picky with potential men for dating so im the Tinder scroller hoping to connect eventually. gets lonely but just keep hoping ill run across the one eventually. Im also super monogamous making it harder it seems.

@mattlandsiedel 2 күн бұрын

I can relate so much to this. I am pretty much the exact same. It’s not easy but you’re definitely not alone

@gdStPete 22 сағат бұрын

GOOD important convo ! IMO this helps men share their authenticity AND desire (fear) of creating more intimacy... My BIG question (I'm 30 yrs older then most listening to this pod) ARE more men say under 50 these days really NOT seeking a main SO, and ARE they 'really' trying to seek to create more emotional connections to deepen the love, intimacy,,, and even build a stronger longer-term bond? Or are more and more men these days willing to (risk) open relationships... IMO open relationships, especially in the first few years likely risks ending a significant LTR...

@Nothing_Left_To_Say 2 күн бұрын

I would like a video about to transform myself from being like matt (which is think is like my spiritual twin), into becoming more like reno. What triggered me is that all the talking of how to keep everything safe and clean, again moved the conversation to be very robotic about people, how you can drive charging powers out of them, even if they don't meet your need perfectly, and it feels to me as treating people like objects, just like the hookup scene, but from emotional, somehow asexual way. Here is what you need, provide or I'll go. Sometimes they Will agree to give what ever you say as long as you won't go, like Michael did. That's somewhat an abuse. Sometimes you will give them what they desired and finally after they squeezed all the warmth they could from you they will eventually walk away anyways, like Matt. But from my experience, it doesn't sound like friendships as I see them at all. In my life, a friend is someone I'm involved with aspects of his character, and I don't need to feel convinced or asked to want to spend the time with them, because it will be always a yes from me (if technically it is possible). So my friendships are unconditional in their essence, they are not transectional at all, there is nothing I want from a friend but his presence and aora (along of very basic things like humanity and respect of course, no need to say). Im wondering about those concepts that you spoke about A LOT! It is extremely hard to come by, its difficult enough to find true friends, so friends with intimacy in a culture where sex and romance are in their core bond to transactional relations make it almost impossible to find what they I imagine and desire. What i desire is to reconnect with nature, to merge as personalities from a place of warmth, security and care, and it something that require open mind, unconventional attitude towards things, and really see and feel your friend, let yourself really love who he is, and open up. And from there, in my fantasy, it's only natural he will spend the night sometime, he won't get shy around me because he is my brother, and if he is curious about my dick in that point where I feel it's me he's after, and not the sex I provide, I would let him go ahead with me and explore, why not? I don't need to bound him in marriage for that, it is so clear to me. On the other hand intimacy many times break apart sexual drive, so in reality, if we were such good friends, I assume we wouldn't be attracted to each other. I'm not sure if it a biological or cultural thing. But unfortunately it is a thing. We are attracted to what is far and distant from us, and this is something that if could be changed, it would be a very big game changer I think.