Friendship Breakups Suck

[@jess_isblessed]

Glad you were able to talk about this and still be respectful when talking about your old friends. Even though I’m still cool with a lot of my old best friends, I decided to mourn the friendships we once had and finally move on. Sister-friends are hard to come by, but I’m believing God will bring me some new ones.

[@BeverlyAdaeze]

You are so right.

[@niablessed]

You’re right. There is “a lot of love to give.” Most people just withhold it due to pride. May we all heal and grow!

[@BeverlyAdaeze]

Exactly!

[@musikatre]

With friendships or any relationship really we have to be careful with assumptions about what friendships mean. What are the terms? Some people assume that everyone has the same expectations of the word friend. That is fertile ground for misunderstandings.

[@LucyLucy296]

Yes they do, but with time it get's better. What I have realise with time is how I was blocking my blessings by fighting to keep people in my life that were long overdue to go. It's worth it in the end.

[@Stephanie-hj1qs]

Thank you for being so vulnerable and candid with your experiences. I recently (yesterday) had a falling out with a friend that hurt me deeply and I cried bitterly and was highly emotional. Things were said and emotions were heightened. Although I've only known this woman for close to two years, we did everything together and shared really deep and intimate details about our respective lives with each other. I also do not use the f word loosely, so I was excited about the possibility of me finding a genuine friend in this God forsaken world, lol.... just to be dropped in an impulsive manner because of miscommunication. When things like that happen to me, I tend to internalize this and blame myself for another failed friendship and cry to God, thinking I am probably created not to have friends because I always end up being misunderstood or left to dust. The way you were able to articulate your pain throughout this video resonated with me because often times we disappoint ourselves by expecting way too much from people that shouldn't have been placed in the f category. I care incredibly too much, which is a blessing and a curse, and I am still trying to find myself as I navigate life, which can be difficult for someone who internalizes the negative things people assume about me and take things personally, especially if I unintentionally caused someone pain or hurt. Thank you so much for sharing this video, I wholeheartedly agree with your insight and your perspective and I hope I am able to have the same wisdom and understanding as you one day. P.S. I am Nigerian too (Igbo). And I love all your videos (the African mom driving, the waxing video, the African mom hired to protect the President, the African mom going to therapy, the sister Margaret videos, etc! You are so stomach-aching hilarious. I share your videos with my family and my mom especially gets a kick out of it 😂)

[@sophiaeribo]

Thanks for this video. At my big age of 43, I’ve fallen out with my best friend of 30+ years - someone I considered a sister and thought I’d grow old with. Tbh, I cried for months. The relationship broke down 6 months ago and I am still sad. I still think about her every day and I still dream about her periodically. It really is like a grieving process.

[@StephAnnie994]

Thank you for sharing. I've always been a loner, but since I started making friends I've had one friendship break up and a few demoted to acquaintances. The breakup particularly hurt, but I'm grateful for the time we had together, and I've forgiven. One thing I'm learning is to give more grace, especially in my current friendships but also be honest about how I feel when I'm feeling it.

[@BeverlyAdaeze]

Yes. One thing I’m glad I did was communicate.

[@aishab5581]

your last story reminds me of my HS yrs, i feel like i expected too much from ppl that didn't care for me as much I did for them. i've been through fire when it comes to friendships and relationships frfr, but i'm still hoping for some good, Jesus-loving friends. sometimes i don't know what it'll be though. i'm a loner but i'm tryna be content with how God has things. thank you for this video💓

[@BeverlyAdaeze]

I’m telling you, make it a prayer point and God will answer in His time and in His way

[@kemisjourney]

Besides the point so wait you sing ,make hair ,act and switch accents and do parody and are gorgeous !!! Wow 🎉🎉🎉 you are phenomenal queen

[@ericaengland1819]

You sound like me. I take friendships with serious love and I got a storyyyyy.

[@mine4532]

Your skin girl!!!!! Loving it, you are gorgeous

[@BeverlyAdaeze]

Thank you so much

[@tatianaredden5696]

Thank you for creating this video ✨

[@Cryonic7740]

Thanks for sharing on this topic, and staying respectful of the people in your past. It truly does show your maturity and wisdom, and I love how optimism still about the prospects of making new friends. I have my own story and it involves years and years of forcing a friendship that died a long time ago. In the end, I ended up so bruised (metaphorically) that one day I decided to talk to another trusted friend about my friendship with this person and my trusted friends was shocked at all the things I had had to put up with. She told me in that moment, this person is not your friend. Y'all, I BROKE down. In that moment, she had asked me to look at the situation in the eyes of a 3rd party, and it broke my heart that someone I thought was my friend was treating me this way. The treatment I'm referring to had to do with constantly being put down whenever I had something good that was happening in my life, having something like "could never be me" thrown at me when things went wrong in my life. I noticed that all the changes really started when I graduated and got a good job straight out of college, found a guy who was serious about me, and really started to have my things looking up. All the years of our friendship (10+ years), I'd almost but on blinders or always tried to give her the benefit of the doubt under the guise of "that's just who she is." It wasn't until I saw how she was with her other friends that I had to take a HUGE step back. In summary, I was being treated with contempt for reasons I will never understand. Because I didn't even have the appetite to confront her, I simply just fell off and I don't reach out to her, I don't tell her when I'm visiting our hometown where we live. I'm sure she may be wondering what the hell happened but to be honest when the realization came, it hit me like a semi-wide trailer, and I was entirely disgusted with the person she had shown herself to be. I have no desire to ever find out what explanation she would have for that kind of stuff. I used to be angry, I used to mourn all of our future plans. Now, I'm planning my wedding where she was supposed to be my maid of owner, I'm not even sure I want her at the wedding because I don't believe she ever wanted the best for me.

[@veronicajiya5668]

I enjoyed listening to these stories. Glad you talked about both sides of the coin. And you are an incredible storyteller. And putting things like friendship in Gods hands should be priority just as we do relationships. This was a great watch. When you told the first story, you seemed genuinely hurt, I'm sorry that. More of these. Loved it.

[@chiomaokereke4377]

Very true about grieving them like one does relationships. Letting go of all those future plans. About 12 mins in you say O's name... Just flagging in case you missed it!

[@chiomaokereke4377]

Or did I hallucinate the name?

[@onyinyeokeke5102]

Oh no I didn’t hear it. She still referred to her as “O”. 🙂

[@BeverlyAdaeze]

@@chiomaokereke4377haha! I hope not o. But I don’t think so. O’s name doesn’t start with O at all.

[@chiomaokereke4377]

@@BeverlyAdaeze My brain was getting overexcited, trying to solve the puzzle 😆

[@katrynachaplin5073]

I love this Miss Beverly. God bless you! ❤

[@BeverlyAdaeze]

God bless you too ❤

[@projectsharon6506]

I have had friendship breakups with awesome ppl but we both were not good friends to each other. They hurt. They are hard.

[@jessicag011]

Thank you for sharing your experience and thank you for the maturity to acknowledge when sometimes we are the "bad" friend. The friendships that didn't make it or the people that seemed to have just walked away, I made a conscious effort not to demonize them in the story I told myself and I also made a conscious effort not to victimize myself either. We all play our part in relationships and the ones that don't make it, we do well to acknowledge when we are not the best person for the other person. One of my recent prayers in regards to friendship has been withhold from me anything that I am not mature enough to handle well. This life is too hard to come alongside and add to someone's hardships

[@cupcakegiwe5975]

Your videos give wisdom

[@yetundeakinde1196]

Eyebrows on fleek!

[@rozforthecoz5615]

I have been BETRAYED BETRAYED BETRAYED...I once lamented to a frenemy.."I am such a good person and I give my all.Why does this ...netrayal keep happening to me!? " Someonenelse said a quote theynjeard...expecting someone to be nice to you because you are nice is like expecting a lion not to eat you because you are a vegetarian. The Bible says i believe in Psalms 142 how the Lord will compass you about with righteous people....I have yet tonseenthat manifesting in my life. Thus far its been a brood of vipers

[@samueldemide7205]

Hey Beverly, I really loved this video. There is something you mentioned in the video which I totally agree with and that is, knowing your place in people’s lives. I have a question which is, HOW DO YOU KNOW YOUR PLACE IN PEOPLE’S LIVES? How do you deal with someone you call friend but do not feel like you hold that place in the other person’s life.

[@TahTwinkletoes]

I've actually been following on insta for donkey years but NEVER KNEW you had a KZbin until 2 months ago lol sorry 🥴😅🤗

[@BeverlyAdaeze]

lol it’s still pretty growing so you’re good 😅