Functional Heroin Addict-Matthew (follow up)

[@jacknico1891]

This dude, as well as 99% of others on this channel that share their stories deserve help, not to be criminalized and looked down upon. Our world is severly lacking in empathy.

[@15aarondify]

Amen!!!

[@srichmond32111]

Addiction is a beast that many people can't understand until they have had to live with it in some way. This man is soooo strong. True inspiration. Help is far less prevalent than it should be.

[@audreybauer6860]

I just want to call this dude and talk to him about his day. I hope he's doing well

[@MissSweetieShortie]

I agree!!!!

[@aliwalker7667]

bless you Jack Nico, you see it & you have a heart!

[@texastoast5202]

This guy is fucking spot on. When you're withdrawing, you don't and can't do ANYTHING. Making toast is like working on ur PhD

[@rentrann]

Best description….ever? Fuq/I pray I never have to feel that again.

[@chris7077]

I have a solution for that. Don't do heroin. You're welcome.

[@JinxMarie1985]

Yep. The withdrawals are absolutely horrible. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Maybe two people. However yes you cannot think of anything but getting the drug for the next fix.

[@andrewstones2921]

@@chris7077 sometimes saying nothing is better.

[@jpierce2l33t]

@@chris7077 There's zero reason for you to be a dick, man. Just bc you don't get it, doesn't mean to have to act like an asshole about it. Obviously you've never had to deal with any of this, and you should consider that a blessing my friend. Don't be a dick.

[@iambyrd1963]

I like this dude a lot. He's so genuine, raw, and I believe he's telling the truth. He's aware of his faults, and he accepts responsibility for his current situation, and it's so refreshing. I'm cheering for you sir, get well soon Matthew!

[@MatthewAndrewDrake]

Thank you!

[@iambyrd1963]

@@MatthewAndrewDrake of course...

[@jasminescott6413]

Agreed I can’t get over how likable he is ! His truthfulness and he seems like such a good person to be around

[@MatthewAndrewDrake]

@@jasminescott6413 thanks 😊

[@jrstz1330]

@@MatthewAndrewDrake you inspire me to stay clean. Been battling this addiction to crack cocaine for yrs, clean at the moment I wish you the best!!!

[@HeJfjdjHehe]

Heroin today is nothing like it used to be in the 80s and 90s. Its mostly cut with more crap than ever. I was a heroin addict for over 25 years,i have been clean for just under 2 years, one of the reasons i stopped because the heroin was so poor.

[@DestinyDonald-vc3cm]

0:07 Same here. When they started cutting it with fent. Can't stand that stuff. Would make me vomit for a whole day and I barely did enough to feel it. So I ended up quitting 0:07

[@RyanMaerck]

I wish I could try Heroin from the 80's or 90's. Man i'm jealous of you guys

[@JordanRodgers-ei5wu]

Hey dude, you can still have that same feeling with the help of dr.johnsonshroom He's the most knowledgeable about psychedelics that I know. 0:01

[@Phillip-hy5cz]

0:08 Most of it is now primarily fentanyl with animal tranquilizer in it. It's gotten almost impossible to find anything on the street that isn't cut that way, based on testing of drug seizures in the last 3 years. On the West Coast, even when it is heroine, they still put the tranq in it since it lets them use less of the heroine and still give a high that is similar enough for the user while the tranq is really cheap for them to get with a few greased palms since it is barely regulated in any country.

[@TracyJake-wt5zn]

Hey mate, Is he on insta??

[@jbaggett2674]

Lost my son to this 10 years ago and I'm raising his daughter. I wish I'd understood all this better then.

[@js3617]

Im sorry for your tragic loss, I know you miss your son everyday. You can educate your grand daughter and teacher her her father was ill and didnt die in vane. Dont blame yourself either, it's not your fault. We cant change the past but we can change and help the current and right now you're learning so much about your son's issues and raising his beautiful child, you are the back bone of the generation lost in this mess with raising the smallest victims of it so the cycle doesnt repeat. If no ones thanked you, thank you for your strength and continuing on doing the right thing. We are all victims of this whether its ourselves as the addicts, the parents, family and friends, or the children. Compassion and caring for one another will get us through. Bless you.

[@kellyd.683]

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

[@blazefairchild465]

Blessed be the grandparents ,who are silently raising another generation of children , due to the drug use in our country. So many children have lost parents to prison or death 😭.

[@marylougeorge9890]

@@js3617 Amen! Beautifully said.❤❤❤

[@marylougeorge9890]

@@blazefairchild465 True. Three of my friends have raised their grandkids. I admire their strength.

[@melanieburgess9987]

He is just seeming “functional” because he is so intelligent. He has a lot of potential. Hope he gets the help he needs.

[@jameskneff8212]

I hate to think how many intelligent and capable people are in his position. Stuck with no disposable income to cover the gap if they’re not working and not able to afford treatment just getting by paycheck to paycheck 😢

[@angelcake6869]

i'm not saying he's not smart, but intelligence doesn't necessarily equal functionality/stability. he's able to function somewhat normally because he can compartmentalize and separate his addiction from other facets in his life, but that situation can change very quickly if he doesn't get help.

[@aimeerebecca1]

Intelligence isn’t a deterrent from addiction. Im sure you agree that very addict has potential. What gives him an abundance of it is his sweet, deep heart and his tender appreciation for the fragility of life. Still being in touch with that is a powerful necessity for hope. His humility, his awareness, his sense of responsibility (even to make sure he wasn’t misleading in his first video), his soul is wonderful. And I’ve seen this in so many addicts. I wish I could show them what I see in them.

[@islabee94]

No. The reason he's functional is because he still really values his life.

[@taylorsebring998]

@@jameskneff8212 we do it to ourselves. Even if we had all the money in the world it might be worse.

[@KristysEdits]

Wowwww! He’s so well spoken, smart, genuine, sweet. We’re rooting for you!

[@MatthewAndrewDrake]

Thanks Kristy!

[@rex8958]

@@mattstone8878 damn straight Matt?

[@operatorerror124]

I think a lot of us are just bored as fuck with the monotony of modern society

[@Ihavehadmanynames7779]

Oh he’s sweet now you should see them when they’re out of supply. Me and my friends had a friend like this we would only see him on the first when his checks came in because that’s when he was sane enough to be around. Come later on in the month and it was a completely different person all together

[@hitlermontoya2625]

@@Ihavehadmanynames7779 You allways build your oppinion on single cases?

[@MrRectomy]

Mark, your work rate and output is phenomenal. Please don’t burn yourself out. Thanks for all of this fascinating content.

[@elpanchosancho2314]

He burns the "midnight oil" if you know what. I'm saying. It's meth. The midnight oil is meth

[@arsek503]

@@elpanchosancho2314 slow roasted from 10 to 2

[@Ruby-ev9ym]

“I don’t have the luxury to disappear”.. that hit me SO hard and I cried too. I had a full time job, husband and children. I had to get clean at home.. no rehab.

[@kevincorso7929]

Same. I did it before my girl got pregnant thank god. Luckily I’m a restaurant manager and it’s easy to line up another job and I had some PTO saved up. I told my boss I’ve been on drugs the entire time you’ve known me. I’m taking a couple weeks to get my shit together. If I don’t have a job when I get back I totally understand… they had my back. Honesty goes a long way.

[@livewithmeterandnomeasureb1679]

@@kevincorso7929 even when it doesnt go a long way. Its still worth it. It makes it easier to live with decisions. Even when my honesty has gotten me into trouble. I have the consolation that at least i was being truthful.

[@randysmith7189]

Christalena, I'm sending you a thousand hugs BRAVO!

[@Holio88]

@@kevincorso7929 Don't mean this to be rude but restaurant workers and their drugs go together like pb and jelly. Glad ya got sober man. Is it hard knowing alot of the people you work with are getting high?

[@MrDoctorproctor]

Let down your golden hair x

[@zain9866]

Damn. This dude was me. I thought I was functional until I wasn’t. I got so tired of it and finally surrendered. Going into my 4th year clean and sober. You got this Matthew.

[@kimpancheri9889]

@Zain Good for you, I hope you're still doing well!

[@tahcria]

Best wishes!

[@experienceofchris1108]

Thankfully I drifted off to kratom but it’s got it’s own problems….

[@melanie4926]

The gifts of sobriety are indescribable.

[@719Flowers]

@@experienceofchris1108 really? What are the negatives? I really pondered trying that stuff

[@dianasanchez1438]

this guy literally made this interview when he was in the middle of the selection process for a job and he shared his story anyway, amazing guy and story

[@Redneck3610]

After 20 plus years of heavy opiate usage , countless relapses never making it through the horrfic withdrawals, im finally 8 months clean , i know you can kick this and start living

[@sentb5744]

You’re on your way! I hope to hear back from you at the 1, 2, 5, 20 year mark! Stay strong. Your life is worth it.

[@marylougeorge9890]

Congratulations! Well done!👏👏👏

[@jerrybartlett7479]

John Boy, 8 months is a huge victory and you should be very proud of your self. I am ten years clean and if l can do it , you sure as hell can. God bless and stay strong.

[@maryp8838]

Congratulations. You're doing fantastic!

[@megadeath308]

Idk how. I cant even kick 5 years of cocaine and alcohol.

[@meghanmulligan4424]

When he spoke about Amanda and began crying I knew this man was different. He pays attention. He knows what he needs to do. I’m glad he is on his way to starting that process of healing and I hope all the best for Matt and that he gets sober and continues to push himself forward in his recovery.

[@Sunshine-gh6vy]

I cried off that part it’s so touching to me how Amanda is helping others with Sobriety with her story. Before she passed her purpose was to help others with her story while in the process of being sober & even though she has passed her stories still impacting others. 🕊

[@marylougeorge9890]

@@Sunshine-gh6vy Amen.💖

[@Jake-pz7oi]

Who is Amanda?

[@marylougeorge9890]

@@Jake-pz7oi Look for Amanda's videos in here. There are several.

[@ManufacturedCrises]

@@Jake-pz7oi start with the first Amanda video

[@joannekerr3]

I'm glad Matthew came back to do a follow up so he could elaborate on his negative consequences. When he teared up about Amanda I really felt for him. I hope that he can get help as soon as possible. Matthew, I hope you can see what an awesome guy you are. You are worth fighting for, you deserve to have a happy and healthy life. Good luck Matthew, sending you my love and encouragement 💞

[@MatthewAndrewDrake]

Thank you

[@excellexcell980]

@@MatthewAndrewDrake 🙏🏾

[@bellaangus1213]

Truth 🙏♥️🙏

[@blakeog2034]

Not much can compare to the humility and empathy of some who go through opiate addiction.. it changes you.

[@e2215]

man I'm not even an addict but i feel like this guy is more functional than I am. takes a lot of mental strength to speak so openly about such a devastating thing and still have the energy and will to work 2 jobs and afford to live in SF. hope you get back on your feet and accomplish everything you're capable of Matthew!

[@BoxofRain-ff4td]

I appreciate his honesty, “it’s functional to an extent“. Make no mistake, this shit will steal your soul

[@extracelestial1027]

its functional until it’s not

[@augustwest5487]

A fucking men

[@imports7able]

@@extracelestial1027 yup you get it . when you don't have shit on you thats when drugs take your soul and leave you on the ground crying.

[@kevinmitchell6429]

Steal your soul & steal your face! ( ~ );-}

[@remcovanhal6336]

exactly, no drug use is functional

[@timothymansfield8488]

What an amazing person . I hope he looks in the mirror and realizes his value. He'd be a such a great councillor , helping others with addictions.

[@aphroditesapple4580]

Yes! He would be amazing!!

[@destroyadoll2898]

Legit! I was actually thinking the same thing.

[@zechs5079]

He might be, but addiction counselors have the highest rates of recidivism for addicts ironically.

[@mikew1374]

I am so fucking proud of myself for kicking fentanyl and crack. I remember VERY VIVIDLY the feeling of waking up sick as fuck. I remember the feeling of running out and panicking, not knowing when I'm gonna be able to get more. Get clean brother, use suboxone, it saved my life. Suboxone got me off fentanyl 1.5 years ago, and i tapered suboxone after 2 years and jumped off at .13mg and felt ZERO withdrawals. It is possible.

[@fogh1886]

My brother is a pill addict and he now takes that

[@goose33]

Im getting closer to the end of suboxone as well I take about .5mg a day You give me hope about the withdrawal bc im scared shitless when i finally stop completely

[@marylougeorge9890]

Congratulations!😊😎👏❤

[@danielquiroz6658]

@@goose33 pray for strength. God bless

[@royannagazlay8329]

I am so fucking proud of you too and I am so fucking proud of myself for quitting cigarettes. I was hooked for years...praying for you and everyone trying to get well.

[@LuisRodriguez-zs5tt]

He needs his own channel, there's an aura and charisma about him I cannot fathom, but definitely makes me want to see more of him and above all see him succeed and thrive, we're rooting for you man, there is a way out

[@michele21auntiem]

He has a channel, Matthew Andrew Drake. 😊

[@LordBonesaw]

@@bbghoul_x I speak to him on instagram and he has never come across like that.

[@reina9842]

@@LordBonesaw Came here to say this! He’s very abusive, I know him in real life and he threatened me so bad I had to block him on everything. He should NOT have this kind of platform, he really scared me and made me fear for my safety

[@thatguy12558]

@@bbghoul_x bs

[@thatguy12558]

@@reina9842 women always trying to bring a man down for what

[@alexwright6212]

Terribly nice guy, hope he makes it!

[@MatthewAndrewDrake]

Thanks Alex

[@Pax_Prentiss]

You can do it buddy… I was on hard drugs (heroin and meth mainly but would do anything available for 12+ years). Next month I’ll be clean 2 years and it feels amazing. You got this brother.

[@turboshazed7370]

Keep on trucking buddy!!

[@bobbyburseth5861]

Steve See I was on the same drugs,same amount of time using,and also 2 years clean, you're right its great!

[@LINCOLNMINAJ]

Bless all of u ❤

[@TheLoveweaver]

Way to go! 💜

[@Pax_Prentiss]

@@bobbyburseth5861 keep up the good fight my dude. I don’t know ya but just know I’m proud of ya

[@TigerLilyNo13]

Matthew, your friend Jenna is my hairdresser & friend. She told me about this video today. Your videos blew me away. I’ve been sober for 15 years and my life today is beyond my wildest dreams. You are inspiring thousands upon thousands of people, so I came here to say THANK YOU for raising awareness & saving lives out here. You’re an incredible individual. ♥️

[@therealjulez7886]

have u spoken with Matthew lately? how is he doing? take care

[@Albanez39]

This is not a show!!! This is a social and artistic project, completely maintained by Mark Laita with minimal help from others (if not at all). A KZbin channel where he uploads snippets of someone's life, told first hand. No rules, no catch, just raw interviews! Stop calling everything a show!

[@asymptoticsingularity9281]

Trust God, Clean House, and Help Others?

[@juansimon5802]

@@Albanez39 who said its a show?

[@719Flowers]

@@Albanez39 no ones calling it a show you freak

[@normanvename4404]

I see a lot of myself in this guy. I was a functional heroin addict for years, till I wasn’t. I finally got locked up for most of 2019 and then put in drug court for a bumpy ride but I finally figured it out. I just graduated Drug Court last Thursday and I have 15 months of sobriety.

[@djlancer88]

Grats Norm! Stay grounded

[@kaylajennings2001]

you got this!! don’t give up on yourself

[@Galadriel333]

That's excellent Norman! Stay the course and all the best to you. 🌺

[@noahalten4292]

wish you all the best!

[@jeremyday9056]

He reminds me sooo much of myself. I remained a fully functioning addict throughout almost my entire addiction. I had a good job, girlfriend, apartment, family, and nobody knew a thing. But eventually, it DID fall apart. Everything. In a very short period of time. Thankfully it didn't take me too long after that to seek treatment. I've been sober for 10 years now. I see so much of myself in this guy. He's intelligent and motivated. I know he will overcome this.

[@YPeezy]

Same thing. $120 to$ 300 per day Oxy habit for 5-6 years. 6 car crashes in one year, lost apartment, girlfriend, bad credit, lost every corporate job after about a year of having it, gained 30 pounds… I don’t even remember much towards the end because I was on a bad 2-3mg Xanax habit the last year and a half….

[@sukatidi]

insane story, im glad! hella proud for that

[@chriskozub8012]

Well they just did an update video on this guys and he is a hot mess.

[@shabo234]

I see myself in his speech and personality. Its awesome how we can see the similarities in others, and have the same story, but have never met. Coming up on 2 years soon and I wouldnt trade it for anything. Big blessings

[@BurnerTurner]

I had a good friend who was a heroin/opiate addict. He was so intelligent and very charismatic and motivated. I always thought in the back of my mind one day hes gonna quit all of this shit and be super successful. The sad reality is all it takes is that next hit or shot and that very well could be your last. Unfortunately he never made it out of that hell. RIP brother I miss ya.

[@KM-me6ev]

He’s very honest and I appreciate him coming back to clarify things as to not make it seem more “fun” than it is !! It’s hard to do this once but to come back and clear things up for everyone.. he really cares about his situation and wants to change it and he wants to ensure that he reaches as many as possible with the reality of this drug.. He wants and deserves help .. I hope that he gets it and good help so that he can walk away from this drug and maybe go on to volunteering to help others !! I wish you the best and please don’t give up on getting the life back you deserve

[@bellaangus1213]

He totally deserves help and thanks for your post.

[@PauloNideck]

he's looking really good. He surely got style!

[@bro0406]

Are you being sarcastic? Lol

[@MyMindScience]

Yeah he does!

[@skinnyskinhead9492]

@@bro0406 No

[@MatthewAndrewDrake]

@@bro0406 no not everyone breaks out a compass and protractor to lineup their chinstrap bubb

[@dannyboy4929]

@@MatthewAndrewDrake hey man do you have Face book??? U and I are almost exactly alike in alot of ways. I too smoke H and am a "functional" addict as in i have a job and a home and what not. I habe PTSD/depression and just would like to some how follow you man. You remind me so much of my self.

[@hayleymarie27]

My husband was a functional heroin addict. I truly didn’t know he was using when we had first started dating. When I found out, he went and sought treatment. He’s been 3 years clean. And it’s been a come up since. There is always hope.

[@ambi3nttech]

Same story here. I had been using heroin since before I met my girlfriend and it wasn’t until after 4 months of living together that she caught me mixing some up once. I had been trying to taper down/quit for a long time but having hid it from every soul I know I didn’t have any support to get me through it. It wasn’t until she caught me, was understanding, and supported me in my effort to get sober that it finally happened. I really do thank God for her and that day and Im sure you husband feels the same way.

[@foolishtyrannosaurus3843]

@@ambi3nttech That's so amazing bro! I hate to think of who i'd be if I never met my girl. It's good to know we've been low but now kickin' ass n living life!

[@ambi3nttech]

@@foolishtyrannosaurus3843 Fuck yeah! You just gotta put in the work!

[@NotOnDrugs]

Matt, I hope you read this: I'm 45 days clean today. I used for 12 years straight. 4 with pills, 8 with real H(thankfully, I had an amazing real plug for a long time). Making 6 figures a year never helped, but, I remember all to well looking at the last gram out of an ounce. I used an ounce a week, for 5 years. I'll never get that time, or money back(per se), but: i met some of the best people that are still good friends, that otherwise I never would have met.... thanks to H. These last 45 days have been the best days of my life that I can remember in a long time. I wasn't forced, nobody told me I had to. I got tired of spending 1800 every Sunday. I got to a point where I hated it. In 12 years, I've overdosed once. Thats it. Now, im here, and taking it day by day. If I can do it, you can too. I was so scared to quit, but, I had to. You can do it.

[@NotOnDrugs]

@@k_xxo any time. Ofc I will, simply bc I really got tired of it. Do you know the song "falllin" by Alicia keys? Thats how I felt about my addiction for a long time. I loved heroin. Truthfully, I did. I never stuck a needle in my arm, bc I didn't have to. I achieved the same thing with just snorting it. My childhood, and horrid family "follows" me to this very day. H was my coping mechanism. My dad left when I was 9, and my mom was a total pos, calling me stuff that you'd get hurt calling a grown man. Shes still that way to this very day, and I have nothing to do with her. She'll text me from my step dads phone talking $hit. Blows my mind a 58 year old woman can act that way for the 30 years I remember. She's piss poor, living in a trailer, paycheck to paycheck. Yet, to her, im everything under the sun, in the worst way, bc I just "disgust her, since I was raised better than that".....I could go on for a literal hour. Heroin allowed me to not hurt her, and just ignore everything. Ugh, I hate that bitch. If someone called me right now and said "your mother just died", I would seriously tell them thanks for the good news.

[@CASoxFan12]

I know how you feel bud. Im 44 days clean. I cold turkey off of 150mg methadone. The withdrawal process is easier when you mentally ready to get clean. All the despression, anxiety, insomnia, etc. i toke it in stride knowing it will get better each day. Plus as addicts that what we were numbing with these substances. Good luck and Congrats on your progress!

[@NotOnDrugs]

@@CASoxFan12 I was never crazy enough to use subs or methadone, lol fuck that. I dont want those wd's. Methadone pills were my 2nd favorite behind roxis. I would eat 10 coffins and enjoy my day lol. I used to get 180 of them for 500 dollars from an old man

[@NotOnDrugs]

@@k_xxo i took subs for the first 7 days, and that was it. I didn't want wds from those, being they're worse than H or fent

[@MissSweetieShortie]

I am so proud of you

[@makeupyourway]

This guy is so ready for rehab. He has the insight and in the right head space.

[@bobadreamgirl]

he’s so self aware and it takes so much for even sober people to get to that point. i hope he overcomes his demons and lives the life he deserves

[@clydeg4274]

Self awareness isn’t enough to save someone.

[@adamfox1669]

@@clydeg4274 i can attest to that

[@cazmars5360]

In order to be a high functioning addict you have to be extremely self aware. It’s a blessing and a curse speaking from experience

[@unwnme]

@@cazmars5360 That is true. I never thought about it that way. Thanks for that.

[@kingPigify]

He did acid that’s what acid does. Your self awareness and understanding of yourself is very good

[@plantedtankz8988]

I've been on methadone for years. It has saved my life. I'm on a low dose currently and working on weaning off. I went from escorting, being homeless, addicted to opiates and fentanyl patches and also addicted to crack, to graduating with my Master's degree this coming December then pursuing a PhD afterwards. I'm a single mom to a son who has autism and a moderate intellectual disability. Sometimes I wish he could interview me. I want to show the world that people absolutely can change! If it wasn't for methadone then I'd be dead or in prison. Unfortunately I never had much of a chance because my family got me started on drugs from a young age.

[@rainyrealestate]

That's an incredible achievement. I'm so proud of you, internet friend! Onward and upward!

[@mylet2658]

Good luck on jumping off the done it was tuff for me and I was back at square one in a lot of ways I pray you have a better time and are stronger than I am

[@SerenityScratch]

He needs to interview you for sure!!

[@eileengarcia7923]

You inspire me!

[@williegilligan2661]

Good for you, for some people I know methadone is a permanent life decision only because once off the hormone imbalance rears its head and life gets out of control fast. Opiates over years change dopamine receptors too, ibogaine has helped many reset their brains but it does not fix everyone. I just hope for the best for you.

[@adamk8434]

wow this was me. i was a “functional” heroin addict for 4 years (pills for a few years before that). then everything fell apart over the course of one month. job caught me n got fired, fiancé left, lost the apartment, and boom i was homeless. took a couple years on the streets in/out of rehabs jails n hospitals to finally give up n give sobriety a shot. just took 5yrs sober this april. it gets better bro, way better, just keep trying and don’t die.

[@AB-dy4gh]

Same. I was a functional addict owned a gym and teaching aerobics classes while being an IV heroine user for years - then in the course of a short time I lost it all and had nothing. Now I’m sober 6 years. Functional addict only lasts so long.

[@denisestephanie6362]

Congratulations!!! Stay strong/sober ❤️

[@frozt]

Proud of you. Keep finding new outlets and thing to make you happy.

[@nicolepettit7035]

Wow...We live the same lives. Im speechless.

[@Newtination]

This is eerily similar to me minus the years on the street & rehabs. I just got into a hotel + did self-rehab with subs - but everything else is *exactly* the same with the pills then H, and the job, girlfriend, apartment ha. Clean 3.5 years now. Hope you're well!

[@NicoleAcunaangelicembers]

My uncle has been a heroin addict for almost a decade now. He was very functional for awhile like you but things spiraled out of control where he lost his job and has been living in a tent in the woods over the past 3 years. i tried to help him get clean last year but he chose to go back on heroin as opposed to warm bed and family. I still talk to him regularly and all he talks about is how his life was before his addiction because it’s like his mind is in a constant state of tug of war. You are a genuinely good person and I know you can beat this. I love that you’ve been so open and have touched so many people including me ❤️

[@MatthewAndrewDrake]

That’s nice that you try to help and still talk to him I’m sure a lot of people have given up

[@jamalydude]

@@MatthewAndrewDrake Matthew! Come to coos bay Oregon I want to hang with you even for a minute

[@bunnybugs280]

@@MatthewAndrewDrake Yes! My little brother is a 4 time combat vet (Afghanistan and Iraq). He suffers from extreme PTSD and a TBI. He started taking hydrocodone and got addicted to it. Those combat tours changed him DRASTICALLY. He's too "manly" to get help for the TBI. He has been battling his addiction to heroin, crack, meth, and anything he can get his hands on. He's been to SO MANY rehabs, but, he always leaves and goes back to the drugs. He's not been in his 11 yr. olds life for 8 years. He will make promises to her then break them. He is now back in the rehab facility...he's just not ready to change. One of the guys goes to FL and buys ZAZA pills for him. He is wasting his life, and it kills us! Out of 6 kids, I'm the only one that talks to him. My father keeps tabs on him, though. My little brother is more than just a little brother to me. He is more like my child, and best friend. My father left after 22 years of marriage. We found out that we had/have a little sister from ONE of my dad's affairs. I was 13, my little brothers were 6 and 4. We three changed when all that (and so much more) happened. I pretty much became their mother. I hate remembering the past, because it hurts. My little brother gets a disability check from the VA every month....$1700.00, and he spends it on drugs or gambles it away...doesn't pay child support. I want my baby brother back! Please, PLEASE, say a prayer for him.

[@marylougeorge9890]

@@bunnybugs280 I don't know how available this treatment is to your brother but, the military have been using psychedelics with PTSD vets and having positive results. Worth investigating.🙏❤

[@marylougeorge9890]

You're doing the best thing. Being kind Always makes a difference.❤

[@lidiasantoro3098]

There is nothing cool or life inhancing for an addict. It's like dying in installments. Wish this young health and happiness.

[@mandylou2501]

I hope we can have an update video in several months with Matt telling us about his success of getting clean. Best of luck!

[@denisestephanie6362]

I hope so too 🙏🏾

[@truth-hurts3089]

Hope it's not the same follow up as Amanda.

[@mandylou2501]

@@truth-hurts3089 there is an update on Matt from a few weeks ago. Check it out!

[@elizabethwilliams6651]

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

[@APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU]

Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

[@Jennifer-bw7ku]

Yes, dr.sporesss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

[@steceymorgan814]

I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.

[@APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU]

Is he on instagram?

[@Jennifer-bw7ku]

Yes he is. dr.sporesss

[@michelefizer2774]

I am Matthew, just the female version and it's opioid pills for me. I work hard, everyone likes me, nobody really knows and I don't really know what to do either. I feel his pain all the way.

[@mariposaazul4450]

Same here. I’ve been on opiates for over 4 years now and I see myself slipping. It’s scary! I think on getting clean but once I think on the withdrawals, I turn back. Pain management gets you hooked n then could careless how u get off the shit. I feel you sis. Love ya.

[@michelefizer2774]

@@mariposaazul4450 absolutely. I've been off and on (mostly on) for 20 years this year. Been to detox 6 times. I just keep going back, even though I KNOW I don't want to. When Matthew said he has self control issues, I really felt that. I'm making good ass money right now, so endless supply really. But I know in the back of my mind, I will run out eventually. It's a vicious cycle, a merry go round I'd love to get off of forever. Blessings and love to you. I pray we both make it out alive. ❤

[@arianeandzak]

……………Good luck and I hope you get to the other side

[@michelefizer2774]

@@arianeandzak thank you so much for your encouragement and for sharing your struggles too. ❤

[@dcshortwave]

KRATOM can help you get off the pills. It helps make the withdrawals almost non-existent. If you really want it, it can be done with minimal discomfort - I promise you that! Peace.

[@joshs1913]

He genuinely seems like a really nice guy, I hope his medical comes through asap and he gets the help he deserves and needs. Hopefully in a few months time there’s an update video of him being clean and free from the hold it has over his life. Think I can speak on behalf of everyone watching, we all hope you succeed and beat the habit.

[@docsalas1203]

This man is screaming for help. I've been in addiction my self for years and I was screaming for help just like he is for years. I finally got sober and it's the best thing I've done. I hope he finds help.

[@truth-hurts3089]

Strange his family don't seem to hear those screams.

[@lilyburger5960]

I’m glad these videos with Matthew are changing the way people see addicts. The fact that people were so surprised by how much they “liked” him, or how he doesn’t “look like” an addict was strange to me. Addiction is a disease and we need to treat it as such.

[@MatthewAndrewDrake]

I’m glad I’m helping in some way! We’re doing a 4th interview for a one year follow up this week

[@carissapaglino4591]

@@MatthewAndrewDrake Thank you so much for sharing your story ! God bless you.

[@b-rare]

end of the day we are all human and no one is perfect. everyone has their own problems. he has a drug problem but seems like a kind hearted guy. theres people that dont do drugs but are mean miserable assholes to everyone around them. No body is perfect

[@TheRealDill93]

Nah. It’s not a disease. That’s borderline disrespectful to people with actual diseases that can’t help what they have. Think about all the people with cancer who lived healthy lives and did everything right. Only to get something out of their control and are dying of it. Vs a person who can choose to stop using a drug. But doesn’t want to bad enough.

[@ayubmohamed499]

@@TheRealDill93 i hope with all my heart that you smoke some crack some day and start popping your pussy for hits . you fucking twat.

[@dauntae24]

I used from 18 to 29. All the good things in my life have happened in the last 13 years since I’ve been clean. Good luck Matthew.

[@marylougeorge9890]

That's great to hear.😎😊👏❤

[@maryp8838]

Fantastic! Congratulations!!

[@pepperachu]

If your a functioning heroin addict, your supplier hasn't been locked up, the money hasn't run out and your life hasn't fallen apart completely yet

[@Hollypenopepper]

*you're

[@mikew1374]

Supplier getting locked up doesnt matter AT ALL when you're in an ooen air market like Baltimore, Kensington, skid row, etc...

[@blazefairchild465]

I would venture to add, you also have a Room mate or partner that loves you enough to pick up on the days you falter on money, & making sure you have clean clothes , food etc So you are in all reality dependant on you enablers yet sober days vs high hadn't tipped the scales in your sitting on the curb. This young man has explained selling car after car to buy his last night's binge . That means he still has resources ,job, parents, that know s the other is there & knows he will try his hardest to stay clean.

[@marylougeorge9890]

@@amaraamara2712 Or a troll.

[@pepperachu]

@emi logane yea, your life hasn't fallen apart yet

[@rossm8231]

This interview is the absolute best example of addiction as viewed correctly: a disease and not a character flaw. Spot on Mark!

[@wfdjmcgee125]

Addiction is a disease?

[@Executnr]

@@wfdjmcgee125 its mental illness that is activate by outside sources like drugs, sex, technology, depression

[@wfdjmcgee125]

@@Executnr I can agree with that. Some are choices, but some are also what you’re saying.

[@Executnr]

@@wfdjmcgee125 all of them start as a choice/mistake/accident, but dont end up a choice

[@Lewdacris916]

@@wfdjmcgee125 addiction is not a disease but a genetic weakness and lack of impulse control. and once a person gets hooked their brain chemistry changes and they stop producing neuro transmitters that make you feel good.

[@0The_Farlander0]

This scares me. Me and him are a year apart and I can hear myself in him. I've avoided any "hard" drugs my whole life but the draw is always there, especially with my mental health issues. "Maybe I should try (insert drug here) to kill what I'm feeling" is a thing I consider on a regular basis. This video helps me stay away, but it also tells me how fine the line I'm walking is.

[@chadgrov]

Don’t fuck with opiates at all unless you’re in the hospital in absolute agony. No ONE person can avoid getting hooked if they’re on it long enough. it gets anyone who gets too close. You don’t even want to know how bad opioid withdrawal really is. Stick to pot and maybe mushrooms if ur in an okay headspace

[@sukatidi]

if you can, please search for help, therapy helped me so fucking much, i changed therapists twice as the first didnt correspond to me and what i was looking for, im glad i didnt give up on it after realizing my first therapist wasnt for me, there are countless of specialized therapists in tons of different fields, i know it is expensive but in the end i would rather spend my money on therapy than on drugs... and i hope you would feel the same, its not embarrassing, its not a bad thing, i think we've all considered doing stupid shit when going through stuff, i wish you the best, take care of yourself and do not get distracted or lose hope, you'll find what you need i can assure you, much love

[@no-rq7fp]

just do weed and do self control exercises

[@0The_Farlander0]

@@no-rq7fp terrible advice. Thank you.

[@Blernster]

@@no-rq7fp weed is a garbage tier drug

[@tessa.robles.84]

Hey Matt, I'm 36 and have been addicted for over 20 yrs. I started the same way with scripts from the doctor. I have been, at quite a few times in my life, a functional heroin addict and I just want to thank you for being so open and honest. I was also a lifeguard and water safety instructor for awhile lol and I just think you're the best. There's something super endearing and humble about you that I just love and I want to ask you to please be patient and kind with yourself. I felt deeply all the times throughout this video that you had that lump in your throat and you fought back the tears and that pain is something very difficult to talk about. I think you did an awesome job representing for all of us "functional ish" opiate addicts. I am just like you where I don't nod out or get all messed up I just feel normal and actually feel like more of myself with the drug than without it. Any significant amount of clean time I've ever had (I believe the longest period ever was about 18-20 months) has always left me feeling like something was missing. Who knows how much of that is real or perceived idk but I do know that I find myself wondering far too often if there's such thing as an "old heroin addict" bcuz tbh idk if I'll ever be able to beat it nor do I know how badly I want to (the mental preparation that goes into preparing for that pain and sacrifice that you suffer through getting clean is difficult at best to go through) and most days I'm absolutely not in the mood to even think about it. Sorry this is so long gosh, what I really want to say is thank you for being you, thanks for your honesty and courage, you are a valuable and cared for member of society who makes a contribution to us all and I'm extremely grateful you put yourself out there regardless if you're clean or not. You are not less than or any worse of a person if you are using, you matter no matter what 🙂🙃😉❤

[@brianbransfield]

Ive been clean for 12 years from shooting heroin and everything else. In Jan of 2009 when i finally got clean I was doing all the excuses of not being able to put "life" on hold. But got a warrant and didn't want to go to jail again. So finally decided to go to in-patient for 45 days and hideout. Then went to long-term treatment after that and somewhere around the 6 month mark shit started to stick. Me taking that year to do treatment was best thing i ever could've done. When finally turned myself in too all charges were dropped cuz i had done so much treatment and AA/NA meetings. The whole saying u cant disappear for a year is just the addiction talking. Realistically if look at last year of any addicts life usually doesn't amount to shit anyways. Take a few months or more go away and fix yourself who cares about a rental room or stuff if everything else in life is trash. It will be worth it in the long run. And before you know it a year of your life will actually be worth not missing. Now at 40 years old Im married with kids and a regular life if I can do it u can do it.

[@paulgee8253]

Do you think threat of Jail was a significant motivation to your eventual getting clean. ?

[@ericcloud1023]

How did you afford the rehab? That's the problem I'm facing, if I were to up & leave I'd be broke and homeless very quickly.

[@brianbransfield]

@@paulgee8253 yeah it was a motivation for me to stay in rehab. Then the longer i stayed the more it started to stick. At first i just went to avoid going back to jail. But then after like 6 months started thinking i could stay sober.

[@brianbransfield]

@@ericcloud1023 in lots of states if u have no job or dont make enough money u can fill out for state insurance. Lots of the rehabs will take u then help u fill out for the insurance while u there. Wouldve been harder probably if i was working and had money when i finally decided to get clean. Just start calling and going to places because lots of places work with u on the not being able to afford it.

[@doroteoarango9606]

There's so many people addicted to opioids. Your not alone. Stay strong brother

[@8stringdinger]

*you're

[@poppinsmoke9180]

^ cmon dude

[@groovejett88]

@Death comes Hard because that's the correct way to write it.

[@GE0FFREY]

^facts

[@MatthewAndrewDrake]

Thank you. But I do condone the correct usage of the contraction of you and are so I’m not mad at the guy that corrected him.

[@pauldodds8312]

I really do wish this guy all the best

[@KazingaD]

If you choose suboxone just know that the doctors will try to put you on an absurd dosage. I weened by buying subs on the street and doing tiny amounts. If you take a tiny bit, give it 30-40 minutes and if you’re still shutting yourself take another tiny bit. I realize in the retrospect of my addiction that it’s 80% mental and 20% physical. The fear of becoming dope sick is what kept me functionally addicted for years. I almost never got fully sick because I was so scared of it that I would make a way to get well. I had to move states and jobs and everything twice to take me out of the environments. I’ve been clean for over a year now. I’m still depressed, I have dreams that I’m still an addict, I drink a bit too much. But being off opiates is such a weight off my back. Totally worth it. I don’t crave at all anymore but it took so many crutches along the way.

[@alyshaacevedo]

If you don’t mind my asking how did you get clean, i.e subs, methadone, rehab?

[@elijahgavin6706]

@@alyshaacevedo they just explained how

[@Itsjusme4me]

No they won’t and it depends on what Dr and a lot of other things. I’ve been on/off suboxone since 2006 and never gone over 12mgs! Stop scaring ppl

[@taurusbaddie710]

You described it so fucking well. The whole 80% mental to 20% physical thing is so accurate along with the fear of becoming dopesick preventing you from getting clean. I totally relate to that shit and think you worded it perfectly !!

[@iambyrd1963]

I was using roughly 800 milligrams of oxy a day. I kicked cold turkey. I completely understand what you are going through. Congrats on getting clean, and understand that it gets better/easier. Hang in there, it's almost over.

[@Dreams_Of_Purpose]

He has the cheeriest disposition ever, what a sweetheart.

[@KenKaniffFromConnecticut]

Hits the same receptors in the brain… you’re just chasing the same feeling with a different product!

[@xtiniweenie]

So did Robin Williams.

[@jacobpayne1]

I’ve never heard someone able to completely relay my way of thinking until I watched this video. When I say “I get it, dude” I really mean it. I get it, dude.

[@AdamCwalina-m8x]

I'm on methadone for 22 years .I do not know it was good decision.Im relatively in good health condition and have normal life.

[@willcarbone6735]

You can do this Matthew. You got all us behind you! The amount of good you’ve done for bringing awareness for functioning addictions is already huge. Taking steps towards sobriety would help people monumentally. Thanks for your honesty, your making a difference out here

[@MatthewAndrewDrake]

Thank you

[@MatthewAndrewDrake]

@hellnoIdontwantmynameonyt thank you yes I’m on subs only been 18 days but I feel wayyyy better and more happy and focused. The crazy thing was I thought the drugs were helping me feel those ways

[@mandyjuelz]

Hi Matthew! I started self medicating my undiagnosed PTSD, depression and anxiety with OxyContin and fentanyl from 2004-2006. I started methadone on Dec. 19, 2006 and I’ve been on the program ever since, getting a week of takehomes since 2008. It does suck to have to rely on a drug, but I view methadone as my antidepressant medication basically. It keeps the depression at bay just enough and it beats the alternative of me shooting up pain pills and barely surviving so many overdoses. I do wish I could just wake up in the morning and feel normal and excited for the day like everyone else, but we have to work with the cards we are dealt. I heard you speak about depression and I can relate to what you were saying & we’re around the same age. I would’ve never touched drugs had I never been born with such severe genetic depression and anxiety. Anyway, I’m a good judge of character and I can already tell that you are going to have huge successes and amazing memorable moments in life. You’ve functioned and made it this far and I know you are going to make this world a better place…you already have by sharing your story. Much love! 😊💗

[@joshuavim60]

I'm in rehab right now on a 90 day program I am 70 days in sober and never been happy in my life without drugs until now. I been on pain pills since 16. And started heroine at 28 biggest regret of my life. But I'm clean now!!

[@Chefgrlangel]

There's so many functional addicts. I'd love this to be a mini series.

[@MissSweetieShortie]

I would love that too! It would help so many people, I feel like people who are functional addicts compare themselves to traumatic situations/homeless people to feel like they have it under control

[@faykouri1162]

So happy for you hope & wish that you continue living sober after all you have great motivation Your little girl!

[@Chefgrlangel]

@@MissSweetieShortie absolutely 100%. My dad was a highly functional alcoholic. He's sober now and still very successful but my aunt, his younger sister, is going thru the same now. Be useful to hear other's stories

[@poppinsmoke9180]

Yes please more functioning addicts. I’m one my self atm

[@nic_4849]

Also, those on looking who have a functional addict in their family can see it from another viewpoint (thats also likely held by their own kin)... To Carl hart point of using drugs not being the worst thing someone can do and with education people can be less likely to slip into addiction {which until his points I was like man education ain't gone do ish, as a person in recovery} (brutal boil down of his points)... I think this mini series would help the rest of the world see and help other addicts admit they want to quit but don't know how to do so without ruining their rep, how family looks at them.... Etc

[@jeremydoblinger3609]

We are pulling for you bro!! Was in your boat for many years..God bless you and your story resonates with alot of us cause so many of us have been in this boat..

[@Maksym10]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/iYnHYoeKr5eIfZo&ab_channel=SoftWhiteUnderbelly

[@LoganLaTulippe]

He's in recovery and doing great! There's an updated video on his story :)

[@micheletotton9342]

What a thoroughly nice man. Hope you get it together

[@bbghoul_x]

Hes actually a pos.

[@micheletotton9342]

What's a pos.?

[@surfergirl2943]

I love the honesty! This is really a great articulation of how withdrawal works. I would have considered myself a functional addict at one point and I absolutely identify with him! I currently co-own a real estate development company as well as having two college kiddos & a 9 year old. This guy touched my heart ♥️! His desire to set the record straight is commendable. Mark - you aren’t just providing entertainment you are changing lives .

[@MissSweetieShortie]

❤❤❤

[@MissSweetieShortie]

Love seeing "normal" addicts be honest about their addiction and it's amazing seeing them get clean I am so proud of you ❤

[@penelopepitstop401]

How do you use without going into poverty or overdosing? How do you stay looking normal?

[@MissSweetieShortie]

@@penelopepitstop401 no idea man just some people get paid enough/can act sober high

[@surfergirl2943]

@@penelopepitstop401 it doesn’t last and things fall apart SOMEWHERE trust that . Money disappears but some people can still look /act somewhat normal. But ya shit falls apart somewhere no doubt.

[@aliciablanchard2500]

Matthew, I say take a leap of faith and go for it. You only live once. Think about how much greater your life can be. Honesty is important and the struggle is real. I think finding a positive outlet is one of the greatest cures for depression. I personally love to roller skate and listen to good music... it’s the best natural high for me. You can absolutely do this!

[@dannymorris5734]

Any update on him? I am hoping he is doing well and got the help he wants.

[@zachthegunguy]

I’d like to share my story now.

[@bunnybugs280]

Share it!!

[@titubavengeance6623]

@SoftWhiteUnderbelly

[@l-train7876]

Show up at his studio

[@jamalydude]

Yeah bro you gotta travel to Mark he ain’t likely gonna come to you just for one story. If it was a crazy area of stories yeah. But who knows where u at

[@thatdude3977]

Lol

[@hulyaeski6577]

Hi Mark. I am from Turkey. I watch your videos. Sometimes I cry for these people while watching their videos especially Amanda's death broke me. Through your videos, I realize how difficult people's lives are, and how neglected in childhood will result in the future. If you can raise awareness for a person who is far from your country, society and culture, you have done a lot for your country. Your work is so admirable. As a person of this world I mysef thank you very much.

[@zackmooretalks]

I am rooting for you like no other, Matthew! Your rawness and honesty about your situation is not only refreshing, but it gives me hope for you. You are a bright human being who is clearly intelligent and has a lot to give back, and my fingers are crossed that you kick this so you can take your life back! Stay the course and best of luck to you, sir.

[@MatthewAndrewDrake]

Thank you there’s a month sober follow up if you wanna check that out

[@zackmooretalks]

@@MatthewAndrewDrake Wow, great to see a reply from you! I watched your follow-up video, and was so overwhelmed with joy for you. You’re a good dude with a good head on your shoulders and your heart is in the right place, and I sincerely wish you the best!!

[@chicnoir29]

@@MatthewAndrewDrake - I’m so happy for you Mathew. Hope everything is going well for you.

[@JR6477207]

I'm on suboxone now it saved my life. I got on it after an od in May of 2021 and I haven't done heroin or other opiates sincd

[@kylejamescromwell4742]

Man keep your head up,I did a 9 month detox then 6 and a half months in rehab,I've got kids I've got a house it can be done bro stay strong,came off Xanax,vicodin, Adderall,oxycontin,oxycodeine,valium,temazapam,tramadol and heroin,I worked through all my addiction,I have bipolar,manic depression and manic personality disorder,so I'm still on anti psychotics and stabilisers it's long road but it can be done stay strong ✌️💯

[@marylougeorge9890]

Congratulations and well done for your kids!😎😊👏

[@kylejamescromwell4742]

@@marylougeorge9890 thank you appreciate it,been hard but so worth it.. respect ✌️💯

[@marylougeorge9890]

@@kylejamescromwell4742 ❤

[@lisamarsh840]

How do you find the health coverage from this?

[@kylejamescromwell4742]

@@lisamarsh840 I'm in Cornwall which is a island in England, we've got the NHS then I was getting them from America and Canada

[@laraoneal7284]

So he’s just medicating his depression with heroin. It’s ridiculous that we don’t have better alternatives to treat depression. He seems like a good guy. I’m sure he has childhood trauma that he is not examining. Maybe he mentioned it in a previous vid, that I did not see. He needs to read Dr Gabor Mate’ . He is brilliant.

[@odvv8711]

We do have better alternatives than heroin tho...

[@harmlessrn5931]

@@odvv8711 I came here to say this.

[@Beefwelliington]

But we do have better alternatives

[@johnnymorera3199]

There are tons of Alternatives the root of the problem is the same energy you spin chasing dope around all day long is the same energy you have to apply with your sobriety that's the most complicated part of addiction it took me fifteen years to get off crack cocaine but everytime I relapsed I got the rebound and I stayed in the game I didn't count it as failure they gave me insight on what my triggers were and the things I needed to work on the biggest threat to America is undiagnosed childhood trauma everybody pretends they're okay my biggest stronghold was I was always waiting to feel a certain way to act a certain way and one time a pastor told me do the next best thing and your feelings will follow and that has rescued me more than any other technique in life don't wait to feel like doing something good for it get out of your self-centeredness and go do something for somebody else I know it sounds corny but it actually works drug use is completely a self-centered Behavior you're throwing a pity party and nobody shows up

[@mariebernier3076]

We DO have better options to treat depression, he said he never wanted to be the guy who took medication. Personally, I'd be very limited by my depression if I had not pursued therapy and medication when I was in my 20's. Actually, only when the newer generation of drugs like Prozac, came in the 1990's, no drug worked well for me and I contemplated suicide on and off, to escape the exhaustion and pain of trying to function despite depression. MEDICATION CAN SAVE LIVES!

[@night_speed]

I was shooting dope for about 12 years and held a job as a mechanic the whole time. I used to say the same thing, even used the same phrase..."I can't just disappear from my life." Eventually got arrested and forced into methadone and rehab for a month. Got out and continued shooting dope and coke and got sent to rehab again by probation this time for 3 months. I've been sober for 4 years now. No more probation, no more pissing in cups for people. You have to get away from your routines long enough to start new ones. There will always be other jobs and other apartments. You can disappear from this life and into a better one. You need enough time away and when you get back you need a hobby to fill all that time and thought energy that used to be spent getting and using drugs.

[@minervaminavera2347]

I need this

[@ericlofstrand]

It's almost like you need to get away from everything you were doing and start a new identity and each new thing needs to be paired with sobriety instead of all the previous activities we attached drugs to

[@minervaminavera2347]

@@ericlofstrand I moved to a new place in a new stay half way across the country. I did good for the first four months but I’m back in it. Not as bad. I say that but I od like in September and went thru a detox a few months ago. Back on it. But not as bad

[@krizzlec]

"You can disappear from this life and into a better one." This is the truth and hit me hard. Thanks.

[@minervaminavera2347]

@@krizzlec true. But I did that. And I found some. Now it’s back into. It’s easy to fall back into it. Remind yourself that once you don’t have that leash tied to you life gets so much better

[@djlancer88]

I've gone through the exact same shit with alcohol. but I can get it right around the corner anytime before 2AM. My last "relapse" I could barely walk to the store to get it. I was nearly there and my legs began to shake and I thought I was going to collapse; I was near death. I've been sober/clean since November. Working, feeling good, staying busy. Death is starting to scare me and I'm trying my best to stay focused and positive. Life is really too short and it will pass you by if you let it. It's such a cycle in my life that I need to break. Really love being alive but if I drink I go down this deep dark hell hole. Just don't stop trying, It's never too late. I hope the best for all people struggling with addiction

[@xx_noname_xx1976]

how’s it going?

[@rebeccamartin2399]

Yeah, I was drinking myself to death, all kinds of problems. Them my mom got dementia and something snapped inside me and i quit. I know I cant drink again, or I will go back down the rabbit hole. Still have my battles with mental illness, but I want to live and love.

[@norishood]

The shoutout to Amanda at the end was sweet

[@violetedge83]

Amanda's story is going to save so many lives. 💜 You Go Girl 💜 Rest in Power 💜

[@debj9680]

I’m really rooting for Matthew. He seems such a good person and nice guy.

[@uknowwho7152]

Being an ex heroin addict...watching him struggle is so hard, he will only be "functional" for so long and he needs a break.....I actually went to methadone and got off it the way it was intended, but it took 4 years.....I was only a heroin addict for 3....but I have a real life and in a few months I wont have to take the methadone anymore. I wish him the best, this is no life, NONE of it is happy. Also, I had a job too and got fired eventually, I think they could see me deteriorating and fired me....so ya it happens :(

[@Anothernobody1956]

Bruh just got off suboxone it’s gonna be hard getting off the methadone but you got it 🤟

[@uknowwho7152]

@@Anothernobody1956 Thank you! And congratulations on getting off suboxone :) I'm almost done with it, by the end of this year I should be down to 0mg....it's hard but so is being an addict

[@samt797]

Its a lonely lonely trap my freind ❤️

[@tylerkay825]

"I don't have the luxury to just disappear (to get help)". I dont think anyone does buddy, you just haven't hit rock bottom yet. Here is what it comes down to- You're either gonna choose to "disappear" to a rehab, or that choice will be taken from you and the drug will make you disappear via jail or death. Good luck man, I can tell you want recovery I can hear it in your voice.

[@daisymichele2666]

Such courage and bravery to share all these feelings and experiences - thank you for your vulnerability while navigating this time of your life.

[@machiel5888]

He reminds me quite a bit of Mal Evans, the Beatles' assistant.

[@sauce_9340]

one of the best people ever on soft white underbelly legend.

[@shuga1313]

After going to rehab off and on for ten years ( the longest stretch being 3 months ) , my friend came home from the final stay and couldn't cope . Two days later and on his little sister's birthday , he hung himself . It's not just the addiction that did him in , but the fight to get sober , depression , and so many other factors contributed to diminishing such a beautiful bright soul

[@xxhshrebyba]

my condolences

[@kirstena4001]

I'm so sorry

[@mschickie007]

So sorry

[@marylougeorge9890]

I am deeply sorry. 💔

[@freedmyselffromthenarcissi376]

I know this is quite personal but do you know why he did it on his little sisters birthday?

[@Wolyboly24]

Does anyone think that his depression may be motivating his actions? Made me think of Gabor Mate and his theories around addiction.

[@MrZacharykgwin]

Good example, and yes as a person who has dealt with addiction I can fully say it 100% ia fueled by depression. Drugs are artificial happiness.

[@dyshaun08]

It goes hand in hand. He needs some cognitive behavioral therapy. And maybe a prescription for depression. That's what helped me.

[@JinxMarie1985]

Yes I do think depression is a huge part of it. Most of us addicts have mental health issues and trauma. Which is why I used alcohol so bad. Almost a month sober from that but I have other issues with pills. But underlying trauma that I have, the drugs fills the void. I'm in a constant state of wanting to fill the void.

[@kr3642]

My grandma is a meth addict and she says that's why she started. Because of depression.

[@ymmijthehornplayer4045]

My mom has been clean from heroin for 12 years almost. I'm super proud of you for wanting to get help. The fact that you're willing to take that step says a lot about who you are and I wish you the best of luck

[@Casey3-P-O]

Hey Mathew I hope you read this. I'm in the California Bay Area right now and I have medi-cal insurance (it's free for those who qualify), which covers my entire monthly prescription of Suboxone (actual name brand films), which has changed my life in such a positive way by giving me consistency. Maybe it could help you. I wish I wasn't addicted to Suboxone, but it's better than heroin addiction. It's better than being stuck going to the methadone clinic too. I was basically a slave to the methadone clinic in Modesto, California for like 3 full years. Actual Hell. Suboxone has really helped me tho. I feel stable without being high. It's weird to remember what it feels like to not be sick, but without being high. You still get a slight "glow" from subs, but it's not like methadone. Methadone made me fat and sleepy. Regardless of which road you take, i hope you come out happy and well. Maybe I'll see you around the bay area some time. Good luck!

[@MatthewAndrewDrake]

I am on suboxone. There is a new interview from about a week ago so check it out. I do not qualify for medi-cal as I made too much in the last year.

[@Casey3-P-O]

@@MatthewAndrewDrake oh sweet man! That's great to hear that you got on Subs. I really hope they work for you. I was a smoker, not really into banging all the time because it's kinda crazy and gross. And the subs really helped me, so I hope they work for you. I'll check out that new video right now.

[@MatthewAndrewDrake]

@@Casey3-P-O so I quit subs cold Turkey cause they said they were gonna ween me off at this place. I got 6 days left here I can’t wait to get out. Safe nice place but staff is very ill equipped with handling people issues

[@Casey3-P-O]

@@MatthewAndrewDrake ahh man dude that sucks. So you probably aren't feeling very well right now. Im sorry about that. I hope you're able to do well once you leave. For me, I've been on subs for a pretty long time, but I was homeless and all messed up before I went on them. Now I'm living with my parents and getting my life together. So it just sucks being addicted to subs still. But I just hope you're alright going off of them, because I know that's really hard. Just try to keep a strong mindset, dude. I know that's hard when your craving and stuff. But maybe you can come out of all of this at least free from a physical addiction. If not, and you ever relapse, don't give up and just try again. And never get into shooting. No matter what. You already know that though.

[@WayneTrevienoThomas]

@@MatthewAndrewDrake there is 2 years between us, and I think that might be why I relate to you so much.I hope you get the help you need. You articulate yourself so well, so honest and raw and actually I know you might not be feeling great but I hope that you know your interview will reach and help so many people our age and younger. You WILL get through this and you will be with your girlfriend, you WILL get clean. We are all routing for you sending you so much love all the way from 🇬🇧. Xx

[@scottsheldon1844]

I say again, there’s no such thing as a functional heroin addict. I used to think I was a functional heroin addict. That was just my attempt to rationalize irrational behavior. I’ll have 2 years on June 18th and I hope the gent can cross over to the other side too. If not, it’s no mystery how the story will end. It’s progressive. It’s deadly.

[@denisestephanie6362]

Congratulations!!! Stay strong 💪🏾

[@relight6931]

Agree. It feels better to say it to yourself, but it is a lie. I've had the same very demanding job for 7 years. But I've only had maybe 2 years of doing it clean. It comes to a point where you are not sure if you are working to have money for dope or doing dope to survive work. But in short, I would say the number of hidden "functional" addicts is probably several times bigger then those you can easily spot. Because those that don't take care of themselfs, die. Others survive and keep on living from hit to hit. But while you are surviving, you are not doing much else. You are stuck in a spot. All the time living like clockwork, you always see your time ticking by, knowing sickness is in the mail.

[@jsurajrai6441]

keep it up man

[@aphroditesapple4580]

Congratulations!! And happy soberversary ❤❤

[@justins6465]

Truth right there,

[@Zellie50]

ADHD your suspicions are most likely correct. See if you can test and get prescribed medications. I believe treatment for ADHD will aid in your success to begin the road to getting clean. I have ADHD, I am over 60 and if not for proper treatment I believe I could have misused drugs and alcohol. Best to you friend. Thank you Mark.

[@teamc.a.r.l8581]

I've been clean over a week now! I'm also a "functional" addict but even to function doesn't mean your body and wallet and mind is slowly being destroyed. Took years to figure that out and hope everyone on this channel and the audience watching learns that. U may be living every day but same time not living...

[@marylougeorge9890]

Good job! Keep on going. Make sure you have emotional support should you hit a rough patch.❤

[@happybeetz]

I believe the expression is "everybody dies but not everybody lives"

[@teamc.a.r.l8581]

@@marylougeorge9890 thank you! Now my emotional support is my 2 year old daughter smiling at me..keeps me going everyday!

[@marylougeorge9890]

@@teamc.a.r.l8581 😎😊💖

[@brookepettenati3323]

You got this.

[@shelbyquintanilla2753]

I just know this helped him a lot because as he said that he doesn’t really speak to anyone about what he’s going through, letting some of this out to a person lifted some pressure off of him. All of us just need someone to talk to. Seeing him freely speak and acknowledge what he’s doing is going to help him alot.

[@tracyl.8529]

His moving sale story, haha! I love how relatable he is [for me anyway]. I hope to someday see a third video where he talks about his journey to recovery & how sobriety is going for him.

[@leehollebon4777]

Tracy L how are you doing what country do you live in

[@alisonmurray6993]

Matthew seems like a great person. He is not his addiction. For anyone dealing with addiction and/or depression, don’t give up on yourself. No one has the right to judge you. You are valued. Thank you, Matthew for sharing some of your story with us.

[@jorgie93]

I just want to say, I think it's beautiful that you keep in touch with some of the people you interview. It says a lot about you and how you really care, it's not for show. You inspire me. Thank you for the humbling content.

[@averagetobest8180]

This guy looks like a whole lotta shit has happened since the last video. He's got a lot of heart and he's braver than I am shit. Good luck Matt.

[@memyselfi2005]

Talks like a whole lot has happened since the initial interview too. He sounds much clearer. Like he’s definitely thinking much more clearly here

[@agnesfox8349]

I'm glad to see that Matthew is no longer living in this delusion of: "everything is wonderful even though I'm addicted to this stuff". This is an important first step in getting back to life.

[@jb6368]

How Matthew is not head hunted by a TV outfit to present or host is mind boggling. Guy is so charismatic and likeable it's no brainer. Unfortunately say the issue highlighted is why but if turned around it's onwards and upwards. Guy is quality and above all a genuine beautiful soul.

[@jsik69x]

Matthew…. I see a beautiful soul in you bro. I hope you can put in the effort, whatever it takes, to get help and find peace. The world is being robbed of the potential gifts you can give to it! Wishing you the absolute best and hope to hear great things of you in the future ✌🏼

[@tatianarizktaylor1818]

This guy Is great. He has a wonderful personality, & he speaks the absolute truth about what it’s like to be a “functional addict”. It’s no way to live & so isolating. I really wish him the best & I hope he fills that hole in his life caused by using & loneliness, with learning how to live his best life. He’s still young enough to turn it around

[@bbghoul_x]

He'll never get better. Hes a nutcase. I have the screen shots to prove it

[@NotOnDrugs]

Who cares what number you are💁‍♂️you're here, and that's all that matters.

[@taharamuhammad3771]

Thank you 👌....

[@200lbgorilla6]

Functioning alcoholic, first steps toward getting better. Willing to admit I can't keep up this pace and something needs to change. Thank you for your videos. Helps me to have hope that I can choose a better life. THANK YOU MATTHEW

[@thejeh1234]

I feel so connected to him for some reason.

[@maverickbull1909]

Go to horny jail *bonk*

[@pullmyniblets]

Have you subscribed to his onlyfans

[@theNihilisticEngineer]

The “Hi world, Hi KZbin” Amanda tribute at the end 🥺

[@taralewis908]

Matthew, I am an old white lady in Connecticut. I haven't watched this video yet, I''ve seen your 2.22.21 video twice and your lovely soul just leaps out, at everyone apparently! I've struggled with alcohol most of my life and recently had a permanent eradication through Reiki, but through someone I know personally and trust. I was "that desperate" and didn't believe it would work. I have not had even a tiny twinge of desire since then. I'm sure you will work things out if you keep trying. Just know that your soul is radiant, it literally leaps out through the screen, and you are destined for far, far more. Quite soon, I'm sure. Best, Tara

[@sufferdata666]

ayo i’m from connecticut too

[@matteframe]

I'm not from connecticut

[@GlennDavey]

So if this guy wants to know what it is people liked, he's thoughtful, not braggadocious, self-aware, insightful, curious, and when he speaks it's not hard to listen to. I do get lost in what he says because I'm not good with audiobooks and such and he really presents a lot of information, detail and colour to the things that he is relating to the audience, so I often have to re-listen to parts, and he's always saying something worth listening to. So... way to go Matthew. This is a platform for you to know what strangers would ACTUALLY think of you if they just had the time to listen, and now you know you're really okay man, more than okay. You're worth people's time. And that's the most valuable thing we have. And I sense YOU know it too, there's the real you in there that's like "dude do you know what we would be doing right now if we were clean? so many cool things.." and you just have to believe that HE has better plans for you than you can imagine right now. (I'm talking to myself here also)

[@izayalopez6473]

great comment 🙏👍

[@bradr3541]

Thank you for this comment ❤️

[@Galadriel333]

👍👍👍

[@aristidesrobles4071]

i really hope to see him better, he llok like such a fcking cool guy.