Game of Thrones Abridged #61: Jon VIII, AGOT

[@TheVIdeosOnly]

I remember the first "abridged" Jon chapter was about 15 minutes. we're now at 78 minutes. I love you Alt.

[@Jesse-fd5bv]

The first chapter in the books is also like 4-5 pages long.

[@mishasubin]

"nO tAnGeNtS"

[@johny16G]

47 years later: "anyway, page 3"

[@w0ttheh3ll]

Interesting that Benjen isn't Jon's only uncle up at the Watch - Aemon is, too.

[@wizardsummoner9124]

Great -grand uncle, iirc.

[@drtoastnbake8688]

From the moment I listened to the history of straw hats, I knew that alt was my kind of weirdo

[@joshuabgambrell]

wait does he have one piece videos??

[@Marcellodelivera]

@@joshuabgambrell its a lot more literal

[@lordpowell3788]

I always thought it was really cool how how the night's watch is until death. In John you know he took those vows but unlike anyone else when he died he came back. And hes got that sick line about how his watch has ended. I mean you can't argue with that that certainly holds up he found a loophole his vows are intact.

[@panonymousbloom5405]

1:01:00 look man, if you ever had to eat human paste to get your spooky magic powers, I bet you would go full vegetarian too

[@mejecam]

I don't know how to do dishes without Schwift anymore

[@ZubjectX]

I have become a tangent!

[@rikkeholmberg]

ZubjectX You sure have! #SquwadGoals

[@stephaniemorris1706]

ZubjectX you have! You're a great tangent too!

[@Picking.a.name.is.hard1]

ZubjectX = AZOR AHAI!!!!!

[@miketrujillo3677]

I'd say it was 2 tangents

[@deffientllynotjalenbutler1736]

Jonny boy the pipes the pipes

[@joefo458]

Australia putting the Emu on their coat of arms is the equivalent to the Dothraki cutting off their braids and piling them before the Unsullied at the gates of Qohor.

[@stephaniemorris1706]

I've never commented on your videos but I've watched them all. They're pretty nifty, schwifty nifty schwifty... there's a tongue teaser. Say that five times fast. Anyways, thanks for keeping this crazy channel going. It really is great that a silly idea is so much fun. The community that has sprung up around it is amazing, the loveliest bunch of weirdos I've ever met. Thank you for posting and letting us bombard you with live stream shenanigans. Thank you for always having a goofy tangent. Don't let Juan hit you too much. But yeah thanks and great job and all of that fan stuff Some Q's I hope you A 1.) I'm glad you're pausing Schwift while S7 is airing. Those S6 videos were excellent! Does that mean you plan to do them again? 2.) Are you going to read ACOK after you finish GOT? 3.) Are you asking for new book ideas because you won't be abridging anymore ASOIAF, or is the new book in addition to?

[@rikkeholmberg]

Totally kneeling, Steph. Totally kneeling.

[@stephaniemorris1706]

Rikke Holmberg Those two "f"'s you've so fittingly added to my name stand for "free folk". I'm forever #NotKneeling. I'll kick schwift out again if you want me to prove it? I mean I don't think we need members who are too buys to post right? Lol

[@rikkeholmberg]

Sorry bout the f's - I came here to fix that :)

[@stephaniemorris1706]

Rikke Holmberg I don't mind at all lol just teasing (:

[@rikkeholmberg]

Stephanie Morris I know a Stephanie, a Steffanie and two Stefanie's. The struggle is real.

[@Etalmyna]

Please Alt, do another stream on European time. It's so good to be part of the livestream, but at 3 to 4 in the morning it's really hard to to stay awake.

[@Spartacus114]

if you wanted to be a part of the stream, you shouldn't have chosen to be European

[@The-Doctor6969]

@@Spartacus114 ayo? throwing shade 4 years later mate?

[@Spartacus114]

@@The-Doctor6969 there's no statute of limitations on getting roasted

[@fartsofdoom6491]

@@Spartacus114 Indeed. Some people aren't even familiar with the Geneva conventions, and it shows.

[@MrTauren1996]

MIssed the stream, and I shall scream.

[@violetsapphire952]

I mean, I feel like the pain was part of George showing that fight scenes have consequences, the same as Ned's leg: serious, debilitating wounds that aren't quick to heal.

[@drunkenmumble]

Finally some talk of Hightower! They spooker me something fierce. Euron is near the shield isles and whatnot so yeah, something tells me he would want to get to the top of that big ass shit. And the black oily stone shit that surrounds the base of Hightower's high tower... interesting

[@calikal1968]

Thanks Alt for another lovely chapter! My dreadful q.4 a. Is:"what the heck I'll do when I'll wake up after you have finished GoT? I think I need to start to metabolize this, already, so that I won't get any withdrawal symptoms ...

[@alexrockas3704]

What if blood raven is controlling the wights and white walkers cause he just got bored of being a tree boy and wanted something cool to watch on tree tv

[@Toto-95]

"weather control Jeor" made me piss myself :)

[@Dredrick]

The Emu was the second deadliest bird war of all time, behind only the Birdemic

[@joshuabgambrell]

I've learned so many digits of pi from your VODs today

[@DerFrischkopf]

I would love to see an altshiftx prequel about the Emu War. Would be betterer than Roberts Rebellion.

[@jacobb.]

Underrated comment

[@AnorhiDemarche]

On emu wars: We also attached a gun to a truck, and the truck couldn't keep up with the emus and the ride was so bumpy that the gunner couldn't shoot.

[@oliveralfonzobernal4182]

1:13:59 VENEZUELA MENTIONED, VIVA LA AREPA 🫓🇻🇪 (also how sad every time we are mentioned is because how fucked things are around here lol)

[@KlaraL-_-]

Thanks for another great video! My heart goes to all the victims of the Great emu war.

[@MimeswithRhymes]

Seems like the others would love to have storm god blowing torrential rain upon them as they march across the battlefield, if they’re so sensitive to fire.

[@jolinefields3460]

Yeah or do like a ice lake jump/walk into if it was the right size/angle to get out of😂

[@jolinefields3460]

23:01-Jorah Mormont says “Winter is coming”…Jon Snow👀❕ 🎵Say my meme say my meme..winter is coming no time here for dumbing man come on say my meme🎶🎤

[@catathielemann3239]

Wonderful baking wednesday, with your live streaming and my lovely #schwiftysquwad Thanks so much, Alt dear. Oyster, we missed you. Hopefully your time at the beach was worth it.

[@stephaniemorris1706]

Cata, time at the beach is always worth it. Though I cheated from choosing. I streamed Mondays live stream on my phone while sitting at the beach! The #schwiftysquwad is always lovely. HO... Hope you showed the other oysters who's the most hairless of them all. Are you regular sized or man sized? I guess man sized.

[@catathielemann3239]

That's a very good question, Steph... so, Oyster, we wanna know your size.

[@rikkeholmberg]

#SizeMatters

[@shieraseastar9300]

A man-sized oyster would be terrifying IRL! lol lol (I saw large giant clams in Oz and they were fairly hairless)!

[@hairlessoyster3689]

I am shorter then a wine skin and wider then a wagon wheel. My motion makes the ocean swell

[@andrasbraten2475]

FUARK, I LOST THE LIVE AGAIN EVEN AFTER HITTING THE DINGER

[@stephaniemorris1706]

Andras Braten better luck on Friday hopefully!

[@btarczy5067]

Wo ist meine Meerschweinchen Walter?!

[@jackfromthejungle7538]

German Alt Schwift X is pretty good xD

[@w0ttheh3ll]

Roaches aren't common in colder climates so I doubt they would even have them in the north.

[@urrigongreyjoy]

I don't know anything about real world swords, but the description of longswords in the books aren't exclusive to the books. That's what long swords are in pretty much every single video game ever.

[@miketrujillo3677]

In got a longsword is what you'd consider a one handed sword

[@tomfii]

schwift speaking German ❤️

[@brettd2308]

I love the random German

[@kevino9116]

Will you ever consider hosting a charity boxing match between a representative of "Team Tangent" and "Team On-Task" I think it could help us all settle our differences.

[@Rebk_TineoG]

I'm always late... but I have to thank you for the Venezuela comment, Alt! ❤ #internationalscwiftysquwad

[@alwaysblazen1369]

whats this so long BS i expect a "cheers" at the end of EVERY episode. ty and cheers. btw as always this was another great video cant wait for the rest. ty for all your hard work #schwiftysquad4life

[@Slechy_Lesh]

22:07

[@rikkeholmberg]

1 hour and 18 minutes! You are spoiling us. The world of Murakami’s 1Q84 does have two moons. Read it. It's amazing. Alt Schwift X would be Alt Schwift X+1. The saint on your mind could be St. Gerard Sagredo. He was rolled down a hill inside a barrel lined with spikes. Northerners making Jon king in the North for no apparent reason and Jon accepting without guilt has to be just bad D+D writing. It’ll be better in the books. And John will be changed fundamentally after his ressurection. Don’t breathe asbestos, huff bees instead. Use your words. Everything is a penis. Size matters. Love matters more. I like german Alt. Alt means "old" in german. In danish it means "everything", which is oddly fitting on more than one level. I like australian Alt too. #BeNiceToSchwifty Love you #SchwiftySquwad (Hairless Oyster, are you messing with my brain? I feel like I'm channelling your spirit here, somehow) (Please Alt, if you do extra episodes do some of them on European time?)

[@stephaniemorris1706]

I typed Catherine wheel in the live stream because I think he was thinking of Saint Catherine of Alexandria. A lot of people were tortured by being put on the outside of a wheel and rolled down hold or over fire or blades or the likes. Legend says emperor Maximian was going to have Catherine killed on the wheel but when she touched it, it shattered. So he had her beheaded instead.

[@rikkeholmberg]

Yes. St Catherine broke the wheel. I think he got this mixed up with Sagredo, who was rolled down a hill. Not on a wheel but in a barrel.

[@Etalmyna]

I would like some episodes on European time also. Actually I'm begging for it.

[@rikkeholmberg]

Myriam Etalmyna Keep begging. He responds well to that. I would know.

[@robertatrasp974]

three cubed is twenty-seven

[@thyagosaints]

Uuuueelcome

[@FaeryQuiene]

I keep missing the live streams...... :( boohoo

[@HelciusCabral]

Hadas Goldgeier me too :( when I'm available I don't get the notifications, and when I'm not home they come up lol

[@FaeryQuiene]

Helcius Cabral I'm always either asleep or at work... so much for living in the wrong time zone..

[@QueenDaenerysTargaryen]

I am the blood of the dragon.

[@OnlyTrueProletariat]

I kinda feel bad for alty x cause he goes on an awful lot about masculinity, definitely some insecurities about himself there

[@shieraseastar9300]

#EmuGibletApocalypse

[@eternal_light9382]

Jon is a man. I think that's most of it.

[@55bueller]

First Comment! Yay!

[@stephaniemorris1706]

55bueller First comment even though you showed up late, way to be a Frey.

[@catathielemann3239]

Yay, Dylan!! Glad you're feeling better.

[@ZubjectX]

Don't you mean second comment.

[@stephaniemorris1706]

ZubjectX no I was agreeing with Dylan he was first lol just teasing him for being a bit late. I'm glad you made it today Dylan!

[@sadiomayonnaise5318]

Holy fucl i like a joke here and there but the constant yammering gets old

[@platypus647]

It’s brutal

[@jolinefields3460]

Nice 👌🏽🤘🏽