Gaslighting My Toxic Roommates (w/ Will Witwer) | Perfect Person Ep. 20

[@PokhrajRoy.]

Miles starting with “I’m perfect and you’re a person.” deserves a Standing Ovation. 👏🏽

[@leoniemoats7467]

It was a comment recently and I love that he adapted it

[@shannonjes3755]

Just wish he would have given a quick shoutout to whoever commented it as thanks/credit

[@amajstewa]

agree, that was such a good intro lol

[@PerfectPerson]

Throuple's on three seat bicycles is a MUST.

[@rymakesmusic]

don’t i know it

[@divlu279]

You guys 😂❤

[@Margar02]

I currently know two 80 year old men who were in a throuple with another man for decades. They were all married to each other (one marriage was legal, one was just a ceremony, but they were all married to each other in their hearts and lives). One man died 10 years ago, and the remaining two are still married. They are lovely guys!

[@kelseysbookrecs]

@@Margar02 this is so wholesome

[@xgreydovex]

Don’t you dare deprive of us of Will for this long again. 😤

[@kaylaf4992]

Will Nation

[@julesgold_]

“don’t protect yourself from getting hurt” is genuinely a piece of wisdom i have taken from this show and remind myself of frequently

[@strawberrymilkteaa]

“Throuples are like crypto” -Miles 2022

[@PerfectPerson]

ThroupleCoin is gonna go big i swear

[@szmbff101]

this is what im thankful for this year

[@PerfectPerson]

put that in your turkey and smoke it. ❤

[@cassbass13]

Same 😊

[@ssuuzziiee]

@@PerfectPerson can that retort somehow become Advice That Will Go For Miles? Smoking anything that's also been smoked inside a turkey? Sounds divine.

[@awildmeggyappears]

Will has the most enjoyable laugh I've ever heard in my life.

[@Margar02]

I currently know two 80 year old men who were in a throuple with another man for decades. They were all married to each other (one marriage was legal, one was just a ceremony, but they were all married to each other in their hearts and lives). One man died 10 years ago, and the remaining two are still married. They are lovely guys!

[@CircusoftheMoon]

I too know a throuple, but they’re in their 50s. They’ve been together for like 20 years now? At least.

[@ohsolovely3995]

Lmaoooo. Me: in my car. On lunch break. Listening to the pod. With my pants undone.

[@MariahRAchel1]

I inconveniently gave birth in the middle of listening to this yesterday. Stoked to finish the episode snuggled up with my fresh offspring 🥰

[@ameliamasc8956]

Congratulations to your baby! They’re born a perfect person!

[@withCy]

Amazing comment haha congratulations

[@channingbushman5346]

Christmas lore! My family had one santa gift for each kid and the rest were from parents or each other. When I asked if santa was real, I was told that it is a story to spread good and allow people to do acts of service and once you are no longer a kid, you can become “a santa” that helps spread that magic. :)))

[@alexisreve1]

That's a great approach to Santa, love this 🎅🏾

[@cassbass13]

I love this ❤

[@lhalison87]

Absolutely love this approach! I wish everyone would do this and make the gifts from Santa lower in monetary value so that when kids get to school and compare what "Santa" bought them no one feels left out or undeserving.

[@hollyoshea4558]

rooting for the big post™️ on dec 1 to be a single will thirst trap

[@PerfectPerson]

December BUNS for December ONE

[@Vegoonery]

You took that one guy's intro suggestion, I love it!

[@papahusky1263]

THIS IS WHEN IT STARTED

[@jazminenovela1576]

Hey y’all, I tweeted Will but since he “obsessively reads KZbin comments” y’all are going to need to upvote this to make sure Will knows he is a beeeeeeefcake hot dude!

[@hannahy4962]

as a poly person, gonna say that non-traditional relationships have existed for...ever, just the labels and level of recognition varied depending on sociocultural acceptance or convenience, etc. i feel like for this caller, there's not necessarily a strict binary of "either we work forever as a triad or our whole friendship dissolves." you all might try it and find out it doesn't work and still remain friends. you might enter a relationship, and then one or more of you ends up with other partners and the initial formation drifts apart. but if everyone involved is down, and you're recognizant of the kind of communication you'll need...go for it.

[@PerfectPerson]

Also a great point!!

[@herb_rolls]

I think using a historical argument is challenging because, historically, women have been oppressed heavily. Many old-school poly relationships were dominated by this fact, and we can't truly break down women's motivations during that time because their submission was survival but acknowledging that lack of autonomy was not an option (ignorance was also a survival tactic for mental stability). Control of women has been necessary for how we've progressed as cultures since women control reproduction (not condoning it, but men have been oppressive towards women for eternity because of how crucial female reproduction is to imperialism and we are in a colonized world). Modern poly relationships are much more legitimate to reference due to a slightly better environment for all gendered parties. I think the caller should be extremely validated by the state of our western society where any fallout can always be redeemed.

[@angelalurtz3638]

@@herb_rolls I think you're 100% right about the eurocentric, post-Christianization part of history and how that affected women's choices, but many indigenous tribes and societies (not all, but more than get discussed regularly) incorporated poly or open relationships without the element of misogynistic control

[@grooovydeadite]

Will's shirt matching the couch is a vibe.

[@ssuuzziiee]

Honestly, Will looks fuckin' smokin'.

[@peacechickification]

Fr

[@LizardKingRequiem]

Like such a hottie wow

[@alexiswhite1511]

Miles. I’ve been unbuttoning my pants in the car for YEARS your concerns are so valid and I’ve had the same fears when rebuttoning my pants after parked 😂

[@jessicaleehendricks972]

Wonder Woman's creator was in a thrupple for many years and when one passed away, the other two still stayed together until the end. It can happen!

[@EvitaGlez]

Miles: “As I’ve said many times, don’t protect yourself from getting hurt…” Also, the amount of times I rewinded that imitated “Naurrrrrrrrr” at 10:57. Y’all, I just can’t with you 😂😂😂😂😂

[@maddynye]

Miles and Will being Santa-Apologists 🎅🏼

[@mchammerandnail]

I love hearing Will being honest about his breakup. Just like the emotions he’s going through, felt #real and #relatable

[@EvWuzhere]

So nice of the cohost to take over the show while Will was going through it. Wishing you the best Will!

[@herb_rolls]

L for Will. Your laughs bring us joy, and they will bring joy to others too! :)

[@liladune3961]

Miles and Will's dynamic really is unmatched

[@rhondabear5639]

For us, Santa was almost like a distant relative that sent us each one gift once a year! He wasn't relevant for the rest of the year (ie, my parents never used "Santa" to get us to behave better). But each Christmas, my brother and I would get one present from Santa, and usually one "family" gift like a game! And then we would play that game on Christmas. So Santa was kind of just a nice distant relative who helped us have a fun Christmas morning!

[@maddishouts]

Oh my god my dad when I was little had me help him set up a camera to catch Santa and he then dressed up and filmed it and it really convinced me for a solid two more years and looking back ITS HALARIOUS

[@livjm]

I was raised without Santa and Christmas for us was still beyond magical! My mom went all out every year and not just gifts, we had so many fun traditions that had nothing to do with Santa. Plus we knew and appreciated how much effort went into us having such a special time each year. Crazy that people think you need all that to have Christmas spirit!

[@emmalovmusic]

Every time will is on this pod it becomes an episode of it’s always sunny and I live for it.

[@falltowinter]

My kid clocked that Santa was bs when he was 3. He asked me if Santa was real, so I asked him if he thought Santa was real - he said no. Then I asked him if he wanted Santa to be real - even if he'd get the exact same gifts no matter what - he said yes. So we all pretended Santa was real. Kid #2 is 6 and still believes in Santa... kind of. My husband hates Santa because he also doesn't like the lie, and he wants the credit for the Santa gifts. But we've agreed that it's a nice tradition, and we don't have to push the Santa agenda so hard that they feel duped later in life. But here's the thing... you're going to lie to your child. It's going to happen. Your kid's gonna want a cookie and instead of getting into a long bedtime argument about cookies, you're just gonna say, "Sorry, kiddo, we're all out of cookies. Let's see if we can get some/buy some tomorrow." As long as you're not telling malicious lies or big lies, your kid is going to be ok.

[@KHAstor1]

Mom of 2 - 9 and 6. I tell them that I truly believe in the Magic of Christmas and Santa fits in with it, but I don't hold it over them for behavior. Now my oldest found out in the last year about Santa, Toothfairy, etc. And I told him that now he was part of the the Magic Making Team. While Magic Makers tell a story about Santa, we are all Santa and get to share and inspire magic in everyone. It's been so much fun to share in the magic making with him :)

[@CinnamonBasic]

i think the best santa compromise is to teach kids that "we" are santa, that they get to be the cool secret gift giver and nobody else knows

[@taymarie08]

just got out of therapy, so glad to get the help i need to be perfect from this podcast

[@floralvarezr]

I loooved this episode’s calls. So fun. I’d be interested in a sort of couples therapy call where two people give their perspective on an issue

[@alexisreve1]

They should do that when Sarah's on the show

[@Strawb_Goblin]

I have friends who have been in a triad/throuple for 10 years and they all live together and they seem happy. I don't think romantic feelings have to only be expressed between 2 people. Its better to be authentic than feel restrained by social expectations

[@christomas7948]

I smiled SO HARD for the Aussie! This episode is so perfect and was much needed. Thanks for the entertaining morning!

[@erossore8500]

Santa genuinely traumatized me hfbfbgn like I’m STILL pissed

[@piquantement]

I'm sorry, every time I think of the line "the back side of a can of lard" I laugh harder than the last. This is "football cream" levels of stupid lyrics. I love it.

[@yayachavez6180]

Going to play the audio version of this over thanksgiving dinner

[@TrippyTrippin]

L for love Will will find Love lol. That is a good look for will. I love this podcast. Miles and Will are so funny together.

[@LocaPorLosAngeles]

Miles you're really reaching dad form with your acid reflux noises!! lol love it!!

[@natl2042]

The thing that I was thinking about the whole time during the Santa conversation is…you have to do it. You have to lie about Santa. You can maybe tell them when they are like 8 but they have to promise not to tell anyone. Otherwise they will tell other kids and their parents will be PISSED. Like they’ll call you and bitch you out. Because it’s so important to some people because it was a good part of their childhood. And unfortunately choosing to tell your kid the truth is possibly choosing to ruin other kids Santa.

[@wodenstinykitchen1643]

This the podcasts that I look forward to most every week.

[@LastLighthouse]

W for Will cause that what his name starts with….followed by a couple L’s

[@irenedevisser5816]

So with the Santa thing we didn't explicitly teach it but we did enjoy it like a fairy tale..... "Santa" only ever brought a small gift and it was always left outside because strangers breaking in is creepy af (its summer at Christmas here so that helps) bigger gifts were always from us and extended family. When our oldest was 5 and youngest was three Mr 5 asked us if Santa was real and we asked him what he thought....he's autistic ans had an excellent bs detector and called it out. When he did we we all excited and welcomed him to the grown up side where he now got to enjoy making it magical for his little brother.....then our youngest went through a similar process. We never made Santa a big thing or hinged their behaviour on receiving gifts. Instead of an elf on the shelf we have a kindness fairy that turns up on Dec 1st and leaves little random acts of kindness for them to do in the lead up to Christmas day, like baking cookies for a friend, sending cards, donating to food drives, dressing as elves and running around the neighbourhood leaving little treat bags etc. Im really happy how we balanced it and its worked out really well. We also introduced the idea that it started with real person (St Nicolas) and that people like to continue his good works by pretending to be Santa.

[@alijedlicka3148]

I believed in Santa until I was TWELVE YEARS OLD 😭 … yes I’m an only child

[@monicaavenidabrasil]

same, until I was 11. My mom sat me down and told me right before getting into middle school (THANK GOD)

[@adrianpink8144]

Same lmao 😅 (except I have a younger sister)

[@alexisreve1]

Were you homeschooled?

[@kristalicious1126]

That beatbox at the end though 👌🔥 🔥 🔥

[@elianaharp5920]

This podcast couldn’t come soon enough this week! It’s such a great show, props to Miles for failing enough times to make something truly amazing 😻

[@spunyette]

Grateful for Miles and Will

[@Alice-nt4qr]

Miles’ dynamic with Will and Sarah is the best

[@kendiifacegmail]

I could watch Myles and Will every single day!

[@juliagazzara3711]

miles' ability to make will giggle is magical

[@lilballerina]

Will L!!! We love you so much and are so grateful for the laughs you bring us on the podcast. Miles is so lucky to have you as a cohost on the show and we can’t wait for more videos/pods. It’s going to be okay sending you hugs and love 🤍🤍🤍

[@diandranaqasima8792]

Binge watched all episodes so far.. favourite podcast omg

[@loannadominique]

Will's December 1st post is just going to be a reminder that rent is due

[@erikabrewer848]

❤ Love for Will

[@rymakesmusic]

FINALLY WILL IS BACK

[@jngado]

I have a 6 year old and 8 year old. I have always told the Santa is not real because I hated the idea of Santa as a kid and thought the entire concept was insane so I was so happy when I found out he wasnt real and just confused why adults lied to children about it. I just tell my kids he is not real but we are going to pretend / make believe he is because it is fun and other kids belive it is real and you can't ruin or for other people or I just won't do it at all. They never tell other kids they know Santa is not real and to be honset most of the time I have to tell adults my kids don't believe because adults like to threated kids to behave this time of year by telling them that "Santa is watching" It is so weird. You would not know that my kids know Santa is not real becuse they play along, I do not think it has taken any of the "magic" out of Christmas time for them.

[@simplicitylost]

40:54 My parents always did this! They didn’t act surprised, but there were always presents labeled from them and then there were presents labeled from Santa. Miles! Pro tip: Make sure someone else writes the note from Santa. (In our house, he always responded to our letters we left by the cookies & milk). Seeing that strange handwriting made it seem so foreign.

[@melissaw3020]

Will you should do the sensory deprivation tank!!! Float "therapy" has been so helpful to me physically and mentally

[@byronfauc2392]

Don't worry Will, as u guys have said, it takes time and theres plenty of fish in the sea 😉

[@BaddeGrasse]

As a poly person, im shocked to hear how accurate Miles' views on it are, thanks dude

[@konan2ru]

This Podcast calms my anxiety about my in laws

[@maddynye]

i’m gonna be honest i just never believed in santa. when i was told the story at like 5 i was like… that makes no sense you can’t do that in one night and told my dad to just “be straight w me” and he was just silent. I got the message LOL

[@SuviLove]

Everytime I watch this show I start to believe Miles is more and more perfect. I'm drinking the koolaid so hard.

[@LocaPorLosAngeles]

L!! Lol you'll be great, Will. I'm sorry you're going through it especially out of nowhere but what better way to healing than to laugh with your homie and making all of us laugh, too. We support you!

[@Ashmasterflex]

I had to shut it down so quick!! I told my kids "woopsie, I don't have time for non believers in Santa magic" I was soooo quick high five lmao

[@bookishlybouv]

I definitely thought that Bria meant that the roommates should just stop slamming the door and she shouldn’t have to buy foam when you said to go to the hardware store 🤣🤣

[@daughterofdemeter]

Will looks great today!

[@lilchihuahua7753]

I agree with the last caller, telling your kids that an older man can break into your house in the middle of the night to bring you « gifts » is super creepy when you think about it. And I feel like children lose a little bit of trust in their parents once they figure out they lie to them (which happened inevitably). But I feel like letting the kids make their own choice about Santa and if they want to believe in it is the best solution. So if they have questions about it you never deny nor confirm anything. Like Miles said, it’s like legends : it’s fun to believe in them and in magic, even as an adult (except of they’re anxiety-inducing of course).

[@EvWuzhere]

THE KING HATH RETURNED TO HIS THRONE

[@carolinaeyharchet9984]

At home, we arranged the whole Santa deal so that we (the adults) get the credit for the really expensive toys we buy WHILE allowing the kids to have that magic-Claus. The concept is: Santa goes to everyone's home for Xmas. So, my nieces have to tell ME what I have to request from Santa. If I can afford it, Santa "brings it to my home" because I ""ASKED FOR IT"". That way, the kid remains thankful because spoke to santa on their behalf. If I can't afford what they ask for, I would say something like "sorry pal! I already asked him to give you a surprise from me!". This way they are still glad, (because -santa-); thankful for your thought; and merry for the surprise. SANTA ISSUE = SOLVED

[@betsymccleery2071]

Lots of love for Will ❤❤ also yeah I concur with everyone else, he has that post breakup glow

[@unfrgtblmemoriez]

Thank you for bringing up that gender codes and stupid social rules have only barely begun to be broken around relationships, and it's totally okay if your relationship doesn't look "normal" because normal isn't real anyways!

[@baileynicole1824]

I feel like I believed in Santa till the 4th grade and then my older brother told me he wasn’t 😂

[@adrianpink8144]

Sending love to Will! glad you have your friends to help you get through this ❤

[@theeBajahottie]

i would be will’s friend for sure

[@sighhAYSzG5AG]

I honestly understand feeling weird about lying to my child, but to me, the magic of the experience is more important. I've read some people who let their kids in on it and just tell them that there are Santa's in all of us, as we can all be generous and gift surprises to people. That being said, I get incredibly creeped out with letting children sit on Santa's (Easter bunny, any character, etc.) lap. If the child is asked if they want to sit next to the character, improvement. Like you have no idea who this stranger is, and who is the person who signs up to have a bunch of kids sit on their laps??? 😳

[@SarahTheSassy71]

We love you so much Will❣️ I hope you can learn a lot about yourself in this single era 💜 so excited for YNt big post! #December1

[@sydney4492]

The Santa thing is fine, it's nice to add fantasy and magic to a childhood. At some point they will eventually realize the truth and they will get why you did it. They won't blame you or anything haha, I don't think it's that big a deal. Plus imagine being the kid at class who tells everyone Santa's not real.

[@Bennettkel]

This was amazing lmao

[@annaquar]

"L. Ron Hubbard Bonsignore" ?!?!?! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@jjunture]

Erika/Erica from Syracuse is right. We didn’t tell our kids about Santa Claus, and they felt like it was a superpower they had over their peers. They felt ‘in the know’, and as they got older, they appreciated us being honest with them. It built trust, and they never felt bad about not getting to ‘believe’.

[@andreinalisette]

Initial thoughts starting the video: "Will looks reallyyy good! I wonder if he still has a gf.." ~keeps watching~ "ohhhhh... I hope he's okay.. too bad I live closer to the Bay Area.." 😅🥴😂

[@maddynye]

Will’s big post: he’s Dua’s new man

[@seriimarie]

Will looks amazing today

[@JigglesBunny]

The Santa debate is one of the reasons I went through a major breakup a few months ago… only it was Jesus and she was a lifelong Christian. Whoops.

[@theCatisindaHat]

Will’s laugh always sends me😂

[@sulsulsunday432]

If you don’t look directly at Will’s shirt, it kinda blends into the couch, so it’s like his torso is invisible under his jacket

[@marthabodden7263]

Keep your head up Will! You’re bound to find your Perfect Person :,)

[@rosequeen5747]

it looks like will's shirt is part of the couch

[@howardjazmine99]

don't worry too much about the button thing. Women have standing pants and sitting pants. 1000% if she is wearing standing pants (to like a bar or something where she will be primarily standing), her pants are unbuttoned on the way home.

[@erikabrewer848]

Woohoo! New pod

[@katiex3171]

perfect person should enter the guilty pleasures vs ycswu competition

[@supaloulou]

MILES please do a myers briggs personality test if you haven't yet because i feel like you're an ENFJ

[@awakeinthedream1111]

He’s such an ENTP tho 😆 And Will is ENFP. Ne dom brotherhood 😎

[@terry3526]

Ok I’m probably so late that no one will see this… the Santa thing, I’ve heard some families use Santa to give the “boring gifts” so like books, clothes, small toys, etc. so then the parents get the credit for the “big fun gifts” like the “IT” toy of the year, a tablet, a bike, the stuff that the child talks about really wanting all season. So then the “Boring Santa Gifts” still have a cool factor and the parents get the credit for the awesome gift…. Just an idea.

[@irenedevisser5816]

Yes! Same with our kids. Also helpful for the idea that some kids gets awesome gifts from Santa and some (less financially stable or otherwise struggling) families kids get less extravagant gifts from Santa.

[@-streaminadream-5356]

the legend of bigfoot

[@jdavisjohnson3380]

I found out Santa wasn’t real bc my dad asked me one day “do you still believe in Santa?” 🙃

[@vanessasmith8625]

I also always unbutton my pants in the car!! Gotta breathe, ya know?

[@ES.Evergreen]

My PA tactic to things like the door slamming is to offer to fix it for them 😬 "Hey, I've noticed your door must be been sticking. I read online that waxing the edges with a bar of soap helps it close smoothly. Would you like me to get one so we can try that out?"