Gay Bottoms: Where are all the Tops?

[@TokyoBTM]

Come on tops! Like this comment, show your self

[@xanderhargis4403]

I'm a top!! But I will bottom for the pleasure of my partner also. It's an emotional and physical ride that both people should enjoy and experience.

[@Yahriel]

I don't live in Japan, though

[@wirakrisna3774]

I’m vers.. pure flexible.. but when I’m visiting tokyo.. I always prefer bein top.. bcause tokyo boys to pretty bein top.. 😂

[@chaosreborn69]

I wish I was living in Japan... 😓

[@ByulKu]

😅 I’m belongs to that 18% but that doesn’t mean I’m in relationship

[@stewartdorward1606]

A NY based friend told me a joke - 'What do you call a top in NY? Answer: A tourist.'

[@chadgarjavbaagii8271]

Haha 😂

[@guntherstewart8941]

lol

[@marcojacinto824]

I'm screaming 🤣

[@RaathloveTV-u5m]

I have to come to New york then. 😁

[@danthovict381]

Same case in my country too, Tops are rare. And they said most of the Tops are already taken, so only hungry bottoms are left in every gay dating app, Lol. Im tops myself and can agree with this statement, im already have a boyfriend (4years now) and never open any gay apps ever since.

[@JeanMichelMorinBienn]

I’m a top from Canada. I heard many times from my friends the struggles and challenges of being a bottom and I have a lot of sympathy for all of you bottoms our there. Today, I’d like to share my perspective as a top. Unfortunately, today’s society has a tendency to encourage stereotypes. As a top, we are often pressured to embrace some of these stereotypes : masculine, dominant, ambitious, stubborn. My career as a military officer tends to even emphasize on these stereotypes. Because I lead dozens of people for my job, people automatically assume I fit all of the stereotypes listed above. These perceptions put a lot of stress and pressure on us, making it more difficult to find a suitable partner. If we assume the fact that, personality wise, a top is more dominant and a bottom is more submissive, in that case I’m a versatile. I like to share control with my partner. However, on a purely sexual level, I am a top. I do not get any pleasure from bottoming. And I tried several times with my ex partner (we were together for 9 years, so we had a lot of time to try haha). But with today’s stereotypes, it’s difficult to find a bottom that is comfortable with the idea of sharing control. As a top, if you share just a little bit of vulnerability, you are often criticized for it. We should be careful and make sure to distinguish relationship roles and sexual preferences. And we should stop trying to encourage the stereotypes. Love is love.

[@oenrob98000]

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@tugiang5438]

Get on the plane to tokyo quick smart. 😂😂. You are correct to disassociate roles with preferences, we all make mistakes at one time to connect the two together and judged/ being judged for it. Life is definitely better when you realise they don’t necessarily connect.

[@RehabProjectSRCB]

I'm about 90% bottom, but I'm in control and prefer it that way, I like guys that are more feminine and much more emotional than I am. I am very closed off as far as emotions, and I can share with a partner but that's at home, out in public I tend to take total charge, and even home I have few things I caN truly let go on.

[@aarontcagle]

Let me be crystal clear and say I would never shun you for sharing control as a top. And if someone does, they should be on the bottom of your list too.

[@jeramy2217]

I couldn't agree more, as I am also a top from Canada! Very well written.

[@obento4293]

This channel is giving me LIFE

[@TokyoBTM]

this comment is giving me LIFE :) Thank you so much!

[@sixpoems]

Second this. I don't live in Kanto, but I LOVE knowing that you two are out there!!! If you come to Southern Japan, my bf, cat, and I can host you. 💕 For realz, though! Come thru. We have a house. :3

[@prezrickard]

@@TokyoBTMAndrew & Meng : most of the tops are still closeted or repressed, even today. They have gfs or wives, and may engage in anonymous sex or not at all. Gay pride doesn’t do much to free them up. The more masculine you are, the more ashamed you are, which makes sense, right?

[@TedMeow]

Tops just don’t like to fill out surveys 🥴🥴🥴

[@TokyoBTM]

haha maybe we should just report our positions and write on our my number cards, for a more accurate assessment.

[@rykalskyes8888]

@@TokyoBTM Maybe the football tv and beer room should have a survey to enter.

[@anthonymaglasang1745]

flipflop is better than sticking to one position.

[@TokyoBTM]

Absolutely, I wish I could ;)

[@anthonymaglasang1745]

@@TokyoBTM i have not met any gays here in japan. hehehe

[@russellcowart]

If you’re built for it that’s great. I have tried. I simply can’t bottom.

[@TuscanWonder]

@@russellcowart I like flipping too, till it's time to climax, then it's strictly 🔝

[@jean-micheltentacule7931]

No. Both are equally valid.

[@bradleyf3224]

My hubby and I are both ‘essentially’ Tops. We’ve been living together 22 years. 👍😉🌈🇺🇸

[@TokyoBTM]

22 years! That is multiple lives in gay years!

[@TuscanWonder]

I've heard and seen that... Interesting how that works. Do you all regularly invite others into the bedroom?

[@trentintampa9328]

Hubby and I are both tops in Florida, USA. We have an open relationship. It works for us. Would be awesome to find a bottom to share, or bottom/bottom couple to play with sometimes.

[@TuscanWonder]

@@trentintampa9328 I've been propositioned by couples like that. It's fun, but i can see where the dynamic could turn

[@bradleyf3224]

@@TokyoBTM Isn’t Meng involved in the travel industry? He could offer an innovative travel service, ‘Have TOPs? Will travel...’ a service for Japanese (and other Asian) bottoms, seeking a travel vacation with ‘local’ tops 😉 👍🇺🇸

[@hardiksolanki8093]

Being a bottom or a top is a sexual position preference. But being submissive and dominant is a different thing. I think the emotional "thing" the guy is blue is talking about has to do with him being submissive and wanting a dominant presence and that's why avoiding bottoms coz there is the stereotype that bottoms are usually submissive. Majority of them might be that way but we still cannot generalize coz dominant bottoms also exist. So IMO you should just relax and not let the stereotypes limit you coz the dominant presence you are looking for can either be a top or a bottom.

[@bradleyf3224]

ABSOLUTELY correct! 👍

[@ScribblebytesWorldwide]

I think what he also means is that he can feel so connected with someone emotionally that that translates further as him opening himself up to receive the person. He's coming from a very Jungian place...is he a Virgo or Pisces? I don't know. And then for those of us who feel like that'd just a sex position, we're coming from a more Freudian angle. For us, it's not the s3xual act that defines the emotional roles in the relationship, but rather, for us, s3x is not an extension but a completion. It's not about the s3x itself but the fact of whether or not it feels good or not. And it doesn't matter which position you do (top or btm) as long as both of you feel great! I think on one side, the Jungian types would continue with bad s3x because foe them the feeling is not the point. It's the emotional intimacy which relates oxytocin so even if the s3x is bad you still feel great/afterglow. But with us Freudian types, we have probably stopped doing it right in the middle, just to change position or get more comfortable or just to stop doing it altogether. We try the most stuff too. I'm kinda on a "late flight" if you know what I mean so sorry if I'm rambling.

[@BoardroomBuddha]

Q: What is a feminine top? A: A blouse.

[@saadmuhamed3833]

omg I've never felt so related to a content like this, I just wanna say after 22 years i got to understand things that really brought me ANXIETY ,, and i'm so thankful for u guys ure so adorable , decent, honest and authentic,, and I really love what u do . love love y'all

[@rtamaki3]

Omg awesome content and sharp insights! I never thought of those things being straight. As Andrew says overgeneralization leads to stereotypes (like bottoms are feminine) which is bad cuz its basically the core issue regarding isms. I think healthy influence like getting inspired by the anime character to be a bottom is fine, but not when u already want to be something(top bottom /feminine masculine) but stereotypes does not allow you to do so

[@TokyoBTM]

Such a sweet comment. It's nice to see our casual and silly conversation turn into some really intellectual realization:) We definitely shouldn't put ourselves and anyone into boxes. This is also something I recently learned. Thank you for sharing. (hug)

[@robertrobert7924]

My experience as a top is that there is 1 top for every 10 bottoms or 20 bottoms. I tried bottom, but it did nothing for me. I would love to feel the pleasure true bottoms feel, but I don't. As I age, being a top gets more difficult, because I am doing all the work, because bottoms my age cannot ride me.

[@grevialde]

Thank you for this content. As a very conservative asian guy who never experienced gay sex before, these information broadens my knowledge as i start to embrace my sexuality in this stage of my life.

[@TokyoBTM]

Thank you for writing this! I hope our videos provide some value for you! We are all here to support one another on all our respective journeys!

[@MasterIvanS]

Can we redo this conversation again on 2024 and see if Andrew’s views have changed after a few years?

[@zot2698]

never knew there are soo many btms in japan! going to japan asap!

[@Green4CloveR]

All the Tops are married to women and sometimes with kids. So they aren't gonna go to clubs or gocons

[@orenjichannel3836]

U're so right. Mostly tops ended being married. So that's why they're so rare 😄

[@giovannilee2602]

Very true ! I guess that with the high social pressure those man who can pass for straight and top well they end up married .

[@sabaideemai1]

Not true !! Most of the married Guys I dated 99% were bottoms . It’s a good feeling to shag a “ real men “ One of the told me “ I am getting shagged as a real man “ married men do it because they don’t have at home .

[@sabaideemai1]

@@orenjichannel3836 not true stupid stigma , married men look for what they don’t get home

[@AnT-ik1fh]

the married ones usually want to get ravaged in my experience haha

[@MegaInTheSky]

I think the issue is psychological. Excuse me for using some words, just know that I'm coming from a very non-judgmental point of view but I'll refrein from thinking about my choice of words to make writing easier. Most gay people go through a similar experience of struggling through their teens and having certain fantasies, anal pleasure is one of those and a huge number of men enjoy prostate pleasure (heck there's a big number of straight males who enjoy prostate massages). Now when one becomes sexually active there's a certain amount of anxiety in the beginning, no matter the position but in reality performing well as a bottom is easier as performing well as a top, and when it comes to being top a lot of people struggle. I've had it too, for years I've been bottom only because I had anxiety, couldn't perform well as a top, couldn't keep >it< up etc., and a lot of my gay friends have the same issue, even though being top gave me more physical pleasure. Only through exposure (best case with a friend+ you can trust who won't shame you for a bad performance) was i able to get rid of the anxiety and perform well. On the other hand, since then I've been in relationships with bottoms only and I didn't mind the positioning, but the positions >always< implied emotional roles as well and as soon as I shoved emotional weakness or struggling (whether relationship, family, work related etc) I wasn't taken serious as a man anymore cause I let my guard down, so the judging I received was more from the bottom side of the community. Just based on our anatomy and biology I find it hard to believe that any guy wouldn't enjoy both roles, but given our society today, especially the gay one, where everyone is expected to be perfect and given what I've written above I'm not surprised that there is an disproportionate number of bottoms wherever you go, because sexual insecurities and anxieties lead most people to define as bottom only (please find no offense in the choice of words). Top only guys of course have their insecurities as well. Now I describe myself as 80-90% top (Vers top) but usually just date Vers guys, and from experience can say that Vers guys will usually just go for Vers guys as well, cause it's sexually and emotionally more pleasant of an experience. I'd urge everyone to get a friend and sexually experiment until all that anxiety is gone, it results in more pleasure and finding/meeting guys is easier. I do really enjoy your videos! You guys are cute, funny and informative!

[@TokyoBTM]

Thank you for taking out the time to write such a detailed and thoughtful message! Yes, I think it becomes way too complicated to cover in one video and also involves so many more viewpoints - like yours! The expectations on men resulting in them being more inclined to bottom roles is an interesting idea. I would be interested to hear others' take on that as well! Maybe time for anoteher video!

[@TuscanWonder]

Hole-heartedly agree🙃🔝🍆🍆

[@johnbarham9991]

I think it's a little unhealthy to identify with our sex roles. But it's very easy to, and I did throughout most of my adult life. Speaking from personal experience; I was a bottom until a health issue arose in my late 30s and I kind of went through an identity crisis. I ascribed my feminine side with the emotional satisfaction of bottoming, and as I've transitioned into a top role I've had to circle that square of embracing my femininity, and overall gender fuckery, as a top in a larger gay subculture that is obsessed with masculinity.

[@TokyoBTM]

I love that! That is awesome! I think we have similar struggles too and hopefully will go on a similar journey to gender fuckery, like yourself!

[@rujjn]

I need to move to Tokyo. At least two hot bottoms ready to date.

[@TokyoBTM]

Haha this comment is what we need. 😍

[@DION_LIVE]

We love our tops

[@BoardroomBuddha]

There's an ancient saying, "there are two types of people in this world: bottoms and liars."

[@TokyoBTM]

haha omg that's a first for me!

[@timothycarney3794]

As a former resident of Japan, I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH. Thanks for being so honest about everything.

[@TokyoBTM]

Thank you for the kind comment! It is hard sometimes to be honest to the world, but seeing things like this is encouraging!

[@jack461]

Very good conversation on a topic close to my heart. As a bottom who presents as muscular & ¨manly¨ ( for lack of better term) I most often attract bottoms. Many times I find myself attracted to the bottoms who are hitting on me. Listening to your conversation has made me wonder if I should be more open-minded towards meeting/dating a bottom (or two). My fear is that if we were to end up falling for one another would be really just be denying ourselves of what we both ¨really" want. So complicated!!! Anyway for what it´s worth ... the statistics in Montréal area is .... more botoms than tops as well. Love your channel. New sub.

[@martinalonzo3253]

I’m a bottom. I also noticed that when I was staying in Tokyo, guys within the area are mostly bottoms.

[@stevenf8452]

We should perhaps differentiate between top/bottom and dom/sub. One set is a sexual position and one set is a sexual expression. You could be any combo of these : for example, a dom bottom (“bossy bottom or power bottom”) or a sub top (top that lets the bottom tell him what to do or is all about pleasing his bottom.) One could be vers in any or all of these aspects. And as you both stated, you can choose in the moment to be bottom or top for various reasons (anxiety, pleasure preference, connection level with partner, or needs of the situation.) Loving both of you boys and your channel!!! As a gay American vers top who has traveled to Japan a few times, I try and do my part to help out the Tokyo Bttms. Haha

[@GB-kx1de]

Hello from Moscow! Everything is the same here, bottom is everywhere, top is almost impossible to find 😅

[@peterashman5749]

I really love the way that Andrew and Meng can have an open and honest discussion and disagree with such good humour and understanding.

[@calboy2]

I love the discussion! You guys are very open!

[@james7149]

We’ve just found your Chanel here...so interesting, and answering questions about being gay, living ,working and playing in Japan. You’re both delightful while being articulate in how you share this information and experience. Looking forward to seeing your list of vlogs, 🤗 Me, I’d like to think there’s at least a little amount of “versatile” in all of us, anything is possible when you recognise compatibility and individual biological attraction....

[@Kostus77]

Wow, I have so much to say about this xD I love the detailed and reflected way you discuss. Personally, I didn't have a problem finding tops in Japan and as a social researcher I know that the perception of not having one or the other around is most likely due to biases. Keep videos like this coming!

[@TokyoBTM]

Thanks for sharing! More videos on the way!

[@MiguelAMiggs]

Montreal is a city FULL OF TOPS it is heaven

[@TokyoBTM]

Thank you Antonio. Haha I will tell Andrew to go back to Canada

[@TuscanWonder]

Well, here they(btms) come

[@Wholiganify]

Sounds hideous

[@jabsarp]

We should say: Montreal is a gay sexual paradise if u r bottom but if u r top is not gonna be like a jungle hahahaha

[@Jboom91]

Ive never liked a youtube channel before this. You guys are awesome i love that you guys talk about gay culture as a whole and things that are universal in the community that people struggle with.

[@leo124323]

I think when I was younger, because I’didn’t know what is going on in life. I feel like now I am more to be a top now. But then I like to be bottom too. So I believe it can change in you stage of life. But being a good top you need to be a good bottom to understand how is that work.

[@JuustJayden]

Another great video lol. From Canada, also have that same issue seems like it’s at least within Asian community it’s 55% bottom, 30% verse ,15% top but within that verse mix is 15% verse bottom who are basically bottom. You don’t even need to look good to be top or have a career I feel. A lot of Asian guys tell me I should be a top, or I look like one lol. Most memorable comment “omg, don’t waste your good genes” lmao 😂

[@WesloPresto]

Being a bossy and dominate bottom, I evil laughed when you said bottoms are generally passive all the time.

[@MDonuT-of7px]

Dude I spat out my breakfast smoothie when you dropped BnP!

[@dougcrawford6967]

You guys have interesting discussions. You frequently talk about things that I've not thought much about before. I'm glad your channel showed up in my feed. So if I'm just hooking-up, I'm 100% top. But if I'm in a relationship, I'm happy to be a bit more flexible - say 80%. But I tend to date guys who prefer to bottom most of the time. It's not that I dislike bottoming, it just doesn't do much for me on a physical level. And I'm just better at topping. But if a bottom just turns his back to me and says "fuck me," I'm not interested. I want at least a bit of an emotional connection, i.e. eye contact, kissing, etc., at least some of the time.

[@kainguru1]

What a tough topic lol. Nice to hear an honest discussion about it.

[@heartsROTR]

I loved this discussion. Thanks for sharing. Like you guys said it’s sooo complicated. For me, position is totally connected to an emotional state. I’ve found guys from Latin America tend to be more top centric. Xoxo from Los Angeles!

[@georgH]

If topping brings anxiety, then there's something wrong in the community that we have to change

[@joshuakhaos4451]

I have the opposite problem. I top because I have anxiety of bottoming and being that vulnerable, as well as , makes me incredibly paranoid. There was an incident when I was 13 that is the root of my anxiety and fear of it(Thank you to my pos former friend), and ever since then. I only bottom if I am extremely comfortable with you. That and I dont get much pleasure out of it either, I usually only do it on occasion to get a friend off, or if I'm in the rare mood for it.

[@georgH]

@@joshuakhaos4451 Thanks for sharing, I had never thought that it could also be this way. I really enjoy flip-flop, like multiple times in a session. The feeling of giving pleasure and receiving it too brings me to the edge!

[@alpachinko9154]

Love the editing guys - makes already great content god tier :D

[@TokyoBTM]

Aww that's so kind! Thanks for the encouragement. It takes a while, so great to hear that people enjoy it!

[@j2174]

One can be a dominate bottom or a submissive top :)

[@TokyoBTM]

My friends were just talking about that too!

[@Unwillkurlich]

@@TokyoBTM tbh I feel like most top are sub doing what bttms asked them to do XD

[@FavoriteOnion]

Bossy bottoms are my fav

[@unnderneath]

This is what I am but it’s hard finding top men who are interested. In my experience they usually prefer you to be submissive, quiet, etc. But that just doesn’t fit with my personality! I’m naturally a commanding person which carries over to the bedroom which most top men are not into.

[@j2174]

@@unnderneath Where are you based? I don't mind a "commanding" bottom who wants to go for a ride ;)

[@danro6223]

Me and my hubby are both tops. We also don't have an open relationship and its still working after 9 years. I don't hate to bottom and don't love it also. Its fine to bottom after you made the "prep" for that, if not it will not feel ok at all. And it matters a lot on what connection you have with the guy next to you. For example, i would never bottom for a one night stand or for someone who i just meet. I will prefer being top everytime, but for the right guy after some time i could do it if he wishes that.

[@TokyoBTM]

This is really interesting! Thank you for sharing! Yeah, I do know couples who are both bottoms or both tops, and I see that it can work so it is always interesting to hear their stories!

[@sixpoems]

Andrewwwww, go OFF struggling with the nuance of the experience of human sexuality!!! I LOVE YOUR EFFORT. It IS a challenge, and a totally worthwhile one. The sex drive has a mind of its own (seriously), so sexUALITY as a human psychological experience really deserves to be grappled with, and that means the nuances. ✨❤️ ✨

[@matts1392]

I can identify with Meng about the anxiety around topping. I'm a bigger guy so I'm not that hung (have lost some of it to the FUPA) and I've had some ED issues because of the extra weight (working on losing but it's a struggle), so, even though I identify as vers, I have bottomed a lot more. With topping, I feel apologetic and I'm sure the anxiety contributes to my ED issues too. Guess I'll just have to practice more, haha

[@danidanboi]

You two are great! Your insights and the friendship you share is so special. Keep up the good work!

[@若月裕二-e1j]

Everytime I watch their show, they're always arguing. It's fun to watch it.

[@neuromodgames]

I am planning to maybe move to Japan for studies in a few years and I just discovered you guys while looking for tips about living in Japan. I'm super happy that you decided to document your experiences, because they answer to a lot of questions that people don't usually talk about such as PrEP, dating, bars, etc. And now I know I'd be highly prized as a vers-top. X-D

[@TokyoBTM]

Hi Diego. It is really our main reason to make our videos, because there isn't much information, (especially in English) out there. Good to know that you find them helpful:) And yes, (in my opinion) being a top in Japan is a bless, haha.

[@lennyrain]

Very interesting topic, first all thank you guys to talk about this kind of thing openly and honestly, very refreshing and useful. By the way, so I am definitely top for several reasons, one I feel little feminine inside of myself and secondly physically I can’t be bottom because there is no pleasure or whatsoever (more painful), however I am definitely open and willing to do it for my partner if I like/love him enough

[@Chivaughn13]

Just been watching so many of your videos and Andrew is always so insightful. I must say that I used to think I was a bottom cause I had had a higher voice and skinny, even now but now I'm 24 and more experienced. I realized I am more of a verse and depending on my mood and the personal I'd flop more to either side. Loving the content, you both are soooooo cute and entertaining to watch. I hope to find out more about the gay scene when I visit Japan to see my friend who's teaching there from my country.

[@XYZRobZombie]

if your looking for Tops by country you should look at South America, Brazil is a good place to start. Turkey is also good along with Spain and Portugal. Basically any place that has a strong masculinity culture. Shit can be toxic as fuck at times but you'll definitely find guys who love to mount and do you.

[@mohamadwafa9000]

I recommend you to go to Middle eastern or Arabic countries, there are a lot of tops..

[@TokyoBTM]

Ok, booking our tickets now!

[@kainguru1]

@@TokyoBTM hahahahah this made me laugh out loud

[@ramirodriguez8786]

@@TokyoBTM Uhmm straight guys is actually what he meant lol. Cause a lot of straight men in Arab countries don’t usually hang out with woman due to their culture. But yeah if you wanna just to have a lot of sex pleasure you can still try it 😬

[@mohamadwafa9000]

@@ramirodriguez8786 straight man is an abstract term in Arabic countries..

[@TuscanWonder]

I believe this to be true

[@96mat96]

U guys, this channel!!!!! I love it so much

[@TokyoBTM]

Thank you! Glad you had fun!

[@spil030]

I think it's also a perception thing. In my city (Auckland, New Zealand) all my friends complain on social media that there aren't any tops, and yet when I go on apps, I only find tops! Perhaps tops are clustered? I think we assume an even/normal distribution

[@ninochandra8490]

agree, sexual position is not only about the sex.. but emotional as well...

[@yosefochoarosales3274]

Wow this is the kind of discussion that love finding on youtube.

[@TokyoBTM]

So glad that you enjoyed :)

[@titiwi]

Very interesting discussion! Very interesting exchange! Very interesting (philosophical) questions! Am I going to start following you guys? 😉

[@TokyoBTM]

haha glad you enjoyed it. We beg you to subscribe!

[@titiwi]

@@TokyoBTM Ahahaha! I did straightaway after my first comment. Keeping on guys! J'adore vos vidéos. Kisses from Brussels. 😘

[@tcov22]

Nice topic. I agree that being top or bottom is not just the sexual position, but often means something more about how the person seems himself and how he sees his partner. It can be about masculinity, dominance and submission, self esteem or body image, confidence and maturity. Sometimes it’s about re-enacting an earlier experience. I would say I am theoretically versatile, but always end up topping because I have never been able to handle the physical experience of bottoming, and my partners have been quite happy to bottom (or we do something other than anal.) Love your channel.

[@TokyoBTM]

Thank you for the thoughtful comment! We will talk more about this in another video soon, so hope you'll join us for the followup!

[@k3grappler]

I find little relationship between feminine-masculine in sexual positioning. I have been a top since I came out. I would be considered masculine to some extent but feminine in other ways. My best dating experience was with a married guy, totally masculine, athletic physique who called himself a 'power bottom'. It was the best sex I ever had.

[@THEISAAC1593]

Well my weakness tbh is a muscular bottom

[@hicetnuncmonamour]

Top, bottom... these are just labels and many stereotypes are associated with. Fortunately, I grew up in a family where they succeeded to deconstruct the way we put labels and rankings on everything. And it's a good start to be ! Thank you for your video. Keep it on. Lots of love from Paris.

[@TokyoBTM]

Thanks for sharing and tuning in all the way from Paris!

[@kevinhobbs3543]

just a label... you are doing it wrong

[@frostkiss2]

Thank you so much for your honesty! I love your personalities and friendship

[@IanCunningham92]

I think there's a distinction between being a bottom, as in preferring to bottom, and being passive. The stereotype is that bottoms are passive and tops are active, but this isn't always the case. I mean power bottoms are a thing, right? Also, as in the case of many other identities, there are many shades of grey in between the two extremes and where you fall on that spectrum can change over time and depending on the situation.

[@Side_Eye_Shibe]

I found this highly educational and although I disagree to a certain level to the points being brought up I feel so much wiser! 😝

[@TokyoBTM]

Thank you for sticking around!

[@satnitcboy]

"There's probably a lot of ways you can poke holes in ... this survey." A survey about sexual roles. You say the cutest things, and never seem to know it.

[@orkumm]

I'm top living in shinjuku. I've been trying to find a btm friend to have sex with but I dont like clubing and I don't understand why people never reply on dating apps (and I consider myself atractive)... you should make a video about that guys!

[@TokyoBTM]

Good idea! Thank you!

[@122921]

Exactly! Too many bottoms in Tokyo. I heard there are more tops in Philippine.

[@TokyoBTM]

Really? Checking Philippine immigration page now :)

[@ohmperth3482]

Im from Philippines, You can find more tops than bpttom here based on my experience

[@ohmperth3482]

@@TokyoBTM btw im like the typical stereotype of a bottom and I always get typical stereotype of a top as well, never had an experience of effeminate top

[@TokyoBTM]

@@ohmperth3482 me too! I call myself a traditional bottom ;p

[@junar88]

Not true mostly are bottom here in Philippines

[@anthonydabiere1865]

T-O-P here...I wish I was totally vers, but at this time I stick with sticking it in...growing up, I was Top every time I would take my pants off there was very little discussion and it was made clear to me that I was very much in demand as a Top...it just was put on me and so I got really good at that and that was that.

[@DION_LIVE]

If your good at it and enjoy it then maybe it is what works for u

[@alexandersalazar7571]

I've been living in Italy for the past 10 years, here on the apps and from personal experience it seems like the dynamics are reversed to those of Tokyo.

[@TuscanWonder]

Taking notes📝... Pray tell

[@JustGarde]

Why didn't I see your channel when I was still living in Japan???!!! I can't stop watching your videos!

[@TokyoBTM]

We are so glad to hear 🤗

[@wsmith2401]

also have bottom dna, but i definitely conceptualize it more as an emotional thing, im such a passive person i really do need a firm hand for anything to work properly, i don't like telling ppl what to do so i just cannn't

[@TokyoBTM]

The bottom DNA is definitely a real thing 😂 I used to be like that as well, wishing my "future husband" make decisions for me and I can just simply follow. But then I realized that men come and go, I can't rely on them. I have to be a strong independent bottom 😅

[@Erzmann255]

Helsinki, Finnland! Lots of cranky tops and darkness for half of the year.

[@reighbenearlwystenm.labill536]

These are very intelligent conversations! Love it!!!

[@6ViolinRed]

5 signs of a top in BL: 1) taller, 2) physically larger, 3) older, 4) more experienced romantically or sexually, and 5) more masculine presenting (in the form of traditional, culturally-constructed masculinity - masc). The lineage of that kind of stereotyping is definitely a surefire sign of its female-written and -oriented origins for a variety of reasons.

[@Geooramirez]

I came across this and I really enjoyed this topic. Keep it up y’all ❤️

[@bebetter97]

You were right. As a Vietnamese, I could tell you that Vietnam has a fairly equal proportion of top and bottom. Currently, there are many Vietnamese bottoms who tend to become tops. So what are you waiting for without coming to Vietnam immediately? Haha

[@cedricksamaniego9146]

When you come it, many are looking for the fancy tops!

[@greekre]

just follow your desires guys, enough with analysis.

[@ThisisBo]

Vers man here 👋 when do we get a segment lol

[@TokyoBTM]

Haha hello! We see you :) Vers people deserve a whole episode :)

[@ThisisBo]

@@TokyoBTM can't wait to see more videos 😉

[@aarontcagle]

What you’re trying to get at is that personality and sexuality are connected, but also fluid. That connection can match up to generalizations but it can also go against the grain. Sexuality and personality are so complicated that it’s almost pointless to try and label anything. Just say what you’re feeling in that moment and go from there.

[@sorryimshy5412]

not the Charmander - Charizard edits 😫💀💀💀💀

[@rhythmdroid]

Makes me wish I lived in Tokyo again. I was so shy when I was in my late 20s and didn’t have as much fun as I wanted.

[@moneso3085]

I started subscribing to your ch today and I already learned a lot. Keep it up Tokyo BTM 😉

[@davidwoodford1814]

Perhaps performance anxiety is a hazard given the amount of pressure thus creating the void.

[@Jboom91]

Southern california is a good mix and the gay community is huge. For some reason guys always want to top with me and im fairly masculine and not bragging but usually larger than said person. What ive found and im a people pleaser by nature is ill just go with whatever the person wants. Both are equally enjoyable but honestly topping is so much easier. Bottoming youve gotta be ready in ways topping it doesnt matter as much.

[@unnderneath]

Just discovered your channel. You guys are interesting!

[@TokyoBTM]

Thank you! Hope you'll stick around!

[@chirich572]

It might be that people who happen to be tops and people who are closeted have a bigger overlap than that of bottoms and closet cases, thereby creating a statistical sample bias. Also, bottoms are less likely to be bisexual, thereby creating another sample bias against tops who are bi or in heterosexual relationships. Regardless, these statistical biases probably also have a real world effect on the availability of tops on the market.

[@haruharu4344]

I was like smiling the entire time. Love you both

[@TokyoBTM]

Thank you Jet :)

[@DED_Search]

5:00 ouch! I can’t agree more with Andrew.

[@SmilesWalker]

so me and my partner has been together for a year and a half. were both verse (im usually verse when single, anyway). i have been the bottom for most parts in our relationship. I finally topped him once. And I asked (just in case he wanted to be a top only) what do you think about our sex? is there any thing we need to change (trying to be smooth with it) and just said "IM VERSATILE" Question: how would you partake in that? should I just go back to being a BOTTOM majority?

[@FabianMarSo]

I think the top extinction is an international thing because here in México 🇲🇽 , we all are bottoms, it’s like one top for every 9 bottoms. Im jocking but seriously, there are very few tops here.

[@TokyoBTM]

I feel your pain!

[@Rebelguy38]

I am from Dallas, Texas, There seems too many tops here. I am a top and wished that I lived in Japan. Meng is sooo cute!

[@TokyoBTM]

Trade us some tops for bottoms!

[@DION_LIVE]

Us bottoms wanna be in land of the tops

[@Samsok013]

I am influenced by my body, i guess.. i am 194cm tall and im top because of it, i actually like bottoming even though im bad at it i think its way more pleasurable. But i act very 'manly and straight' but im not actually like that is because i grew up in a tough neighbourhood where the worst thing to call anybody as a insult is gay. So even though im not 18 anymore i still struggle being myself and being actually a lot more gay. It is also hard finding somebody that is oke with somebody like me being taller and more muscular and manly being the bottom.

[@albertramirez7686]

I'm a total top but I've been in a relationship with a feminine top I really think it's all about the preference and perception of oneself when it comes to top or bottom position be it or just sexual

[@DION_LIVE]

I think for bottoms . Or total bottoms it's like can I submit to this man

[@tugiang5438]

Congrats, all of the sudden, you have 2000+ subscribers, youtube algorithm is working for you. 😁. I will ‘like’ your video not because i am a top, though i am not, but because there are great discussion points. There is so much to respond to this video but i just want to make an observation with meng’s comment about ‘anxiety’ on being a top and i understand it, there is a lot more pressure put on tops to ‘perform’. Obviously a good discussion point about gender roles, gender, and sexuality. I am sure there’s a good amount of editing but you both come out as genuine people with a good level of seriousness and humour. Heck, how the hell did you get me interested in watching you guys go through a concrete jungle and ended at a see through toilet, with a date rating of B-. 😂😂You got a new subscriber.

[@TokyoBTM]

awww thank you so much! haha B- ! I almost forgot.

[@PaulA-kr1nl]

Perhaps tops are taken :) I count my blessings that I've been in a relationship most times in my adult life. I wonder if your main question has anything to do w/ that, i.e., there aren't many tops who are looking because they're already in a relationship? I guess next time I'm single, I have to go to Tokyo. Thanks for the suggestion!!

[@TokyoBTM]

We just talked about this more in our latest video! Please check it out!

[@darkishphoenix]

I'm vers but I've never had the opportunity to bottom during my tips to tokyo. I haven't met a top there either, and it's not just among the japanese boys, but all the US military guys as well.

[@theogoulletderugy2921]

Not living in Tokyo but that conversation was really super interesting!

[@TokyoBTM]

Thank you! We do these sort of discussions sometimes, so hope you'll join in again!

[@devinjohnson1999]

I visit Tokyo and top when I am there; is that close enough? I would love to move there, if I can get a job in telecom :)

[@denmarkdoctolero1211]

TOPs are all here in Middle-East

[@DION_LIVE]

Middle eastern tops are sexy

[@pppexplorer]

Love the channel so far. Question: Why didn't you call the channel "Tokyo BTMs" since there are two of you? 😄😀

[@TokyoBTM]

Hahahah we think of BTM as a unit!

[@Alpen83]

@@TokyoBTM You're each a butt cheek! 😆