Gay Dating Apps 📱 (Best Practices & Rules of Thumb)

[@GayMenGoingDeeper]

Do you use dating apps? What ones have you used? Tell us in the comments 🔽🔽

[@jorgecontrerascuellar414]

Mo

[@jorgecontrerascuellar414]

No

[@gunterthehusky6519]

I quit on love. I’ve accepted that being by myself is the best thing for my mental health. Good luck y’all!

[@rubencohen2936]

Wait till you're 25 to 30 years older and still going through the same thing. Older good looking guys in great shape are a possibility too. Many gay men take a long time to grow up.

[@GayMenGoingDeeper]

Age and maturity are two different things that are not always connected:)

[@rubencohen2936]

@@GayMenGoingDeeper I wish we had the old fashioned Matchmaker in our gay communities. Can you imagine a Matchmaker coming up to us and saying, " I've got the perfect guy for you ".

[@winnied87]

​​@@freddo_cappuccino2695Here I am trying to figure out this game at 35. 😂 I was even more insecure and shy to come to terms with my sexuality before turning 30. It hurts quite a bit because having fun is the number one thing, it seems. Connection? Still looking for that. 😢

[@axaeyexus]

I'd say it's gotten worse as I've aged, not better. I think gay men are just shitty in general. Lol

[@myjoncarllewis]

Mike has such nuanced wisdom. Thank you for being real.

[@WellismoCoaching]

Real is my favourite way to be. Unfortunately, it means not everyone is gonna like it or resonate. But like I said in the episode, I'd rather have a few real connections than a hundred shallow ones. Thanks for the compliment! 💖

[@Fordie47]

Great discussion guys. Here are my thoughts. 1. Always expect people to be who they truly are. 2. Always believe people when they show you their true colors -- the first time. 3. Love attracts love -- not hatred, vanity, envy, selfishness, greed or despair. 4. Homosexuality is a great deal more than just sex. 5. Sex means nothing when you're dead.

[@DiamondFlame45]

Especially the 5th point 😂

[@Oooo-bi7bi]

I find the thought of them overwhelming. I want to meet someone, but not for sex. Well not until we know each other properly.

[@WellismoCoaching]

They can definitely be overwhelming. They are designed to keep you going back for more - so it's important to check in with yourself and know when it's time to put it away or even take a hiatus. My tip: turn your notifications off so the little red dot doesn't keep you going back in for more.

[@Oooo-bi7bi]

@@WellismoCoaching I unsubscribed the next day. I don’t think it’s a way of meeting guys that would work for me. I did the one night stands and friends with benefits. Or meeting with people regularly just for sex in my teens and twenties. I would rather be single and have no sex . Than go through the rollercoaster of emotions one stands gives me.

[@sebastiendumas5800]

Great topic of discussion. Thank you for speaking about it. So fuckin important. I just deleted them all last week and kept tinder only. My notifications are turned off.

[@CalanBreckon]

We had a feeling like it was going to be a popular one! Glad you enjoyed it!

[@gw6482]

Haha wow, I was also very excited to hear you about this, this was so fun. I, like you, learned a lot of those lessons along the way, and with many, many, MANY mistakes. Now that my partner and I are back together, I remember how hard it can be to find someone to share a good time. It now seems harder because we have to find someone we both like, and that likes us two as well, and to manage three different schedules, it’s hard! Thanks guys! Xxx

[@WellismoCoaching]

I think dating apps in a couple situation is a whole different perspective. My partner and I are also on apps and we discussed the 'ground rules' ahead of time. There's lots of fun ways to approach apps in a partnership. Thanks for the comment, Gabe 🥰

[@DJonathanHayes76]

This has been helpful but have you all considered how in rural areas things are far more limiting?

[@WellismoCoaching]

Solid point. I live in a big city but when I have visited rural areas, my Grindr screen is usually a lot of black squares with no profiles. Of course, it also means fewer and further options. But that's not to say it's impossible. Proximity is about convenience. The flip side of proximity is that in cities, guys are less willing to stick with someone since there's the assumption that theres always another one waiting so it's kinda like we're always on the look for more. It's the paradox of choice.

[@DJonathanHayes76]

@@WellismoCoaching very true and sad, I’m not against random hook ups, they serve a valid purpose, but for me it nearly no choices. It’s a rat race, big or small…I need a Prince Charming to roll in in his Tesla and take me away, lol. JK, but I’d take the Tesla, lol. Again thank you all for your videos!!!!

[@adamcohen7642]

There's a lot to unpack here but my issue seems to be a lack of matches period, with negligible exceptions of obvious scammers, people who live 10,000 miles away (I'm open to distance, but within practical limits), and those who with a cursory look at my profile would have known that we were completely incompatible. (I have a few theories why this is so but would rather not go there.) I can deal with rejection if you chat or meet with someone and there doesn't seem to be a good vibe, and I don't use the apps as a yardstick for my self-esteem, but the utter lack of success despite doing most if not all of what you are "supposed" to do is dispiriting and frustrating.

[@CalanBreckon]

We literally could have kept recording this podcast for HOURS haha. We will for sure be doing more on this topic in the future. My suggestion (and what I do) is I only match 1-3 people at a time, then I stop using the apps until I’ve gone on a date with those people or we decided it’s not a fit. All you need is 1 match in order to go on some sort of a date. So get 1, and then go on the date. Take the initiative and just make it happen. Don’t let days go by or weeks without ever meeting. Rip off the bandaid! Not sure if that helps, but it’s what works best for me :)

[@adamcohen7642]

@@CalanBreckon If I was in a rhythm where I was getting 3 suitable matches, with 1 out of those 3 leading to a date--whatever the outcome--I'd feel far more satisfied with my dating life compared to the virtual crickets I'm experiencing now. I wonder if there are gremlins in these programs that change my profile description to read "I hate ice cream and cannibalize babies."

[@CalanBreckon]

@@adamcohen7642 :(

[@naobe5]

@@adamcohen7642 🤣🤣

[@naobe5]

The all fashion way is the best: street, bars, the gym, through friends...I was on apps for 5 minutes....the bullshit from guys who know they are full of it and guys who are full of it but don't even realize it , is abysmal..

[@Gary_Texan_USA]

Back in my days, there were no apps ...only bars and parties. Then there were the Bulletin Boards ...does anyone else remember them? Being nearly 69, disabled, and living in a nursing home facility, makes it nearly impossible to find a true Gay friend and especially a lover.

[@GayMenGoingDeeper]

Thank you for sharing your experience. The dynamics have certainly changed over the years. 🌈

[@Mscottw]

I have spina bifida. I never know whether to disclose it before we meet in person. Any thoughts?

[@GayMenGoingDeeper]

Thank you for sharing that. We can imagine it’s a tricky situation, and it really comes down to what feels right for you. Some people find it helpful to mention it before meeting so they can feel more at ease, while others prefer to wait until they feel a stronger connection. Ultimately, your comfort and peace of mind are the most important things. Trust your gut-you’ll know the right time. 😊

[@johneonas6628]

Thank you for the video.

[@Chups2389]

Hi❤❤

[@leobethge6002]

Thanks guys for sharing, im going going thru a divorce so i know using these apps again is looming in front of me. Yikes.! I'll try a few for my age and needs.

[@GayMenGoingDeeper]

Thank you for sharing.😉We're glad you found the information helpful. Best of luck with the apps-take your time and find what works best for you. Take care!😍

[@mradaChris]

I can so relate with Matt!!! Been catfished too.

[@heneral-gn4vr]

I'm asian and despite being 24, my face says otherwise. Heck I need to bring my ID with me all the time or I won't be able to enter any building. I look kinda straight and dress like every other straight men and you'd only know I'm gay when I tell you I'm gay. I'm also a bookworm and I prefer to do a hike or jog at 4am every morning. You'd never see me out unless I'm at work or doing groceries. I don't do parties nor have any vices such as alcohols and cigars. And I drink 4 glasses of milk everyday but height is 5'4 lol. That's why I know I'm never going to be the top despite being single since birth. And virgin too. My current dilemma, I'm too naive to the current gay culture or dating in general. I think I'm ready to be in a relationship now but I have no idea how to start. Ps. I'm not ugly I think. I've been flirted/hitted by girls/women, both schoolmates and colleagues so I'm quite sure I'm not. I'm currently working so I haven't watched this video yet. Maybe I'll watch it after supper/before my bed time.

[@Onetalld1984]

Matt: Pople that are matching but not responding are using Tindr as an app to waste time. They don't respond because they're not serious.

[@winnied87]

It gets a bit more tricky when they send a smiley or a classical "You're (very) handsome.", which leads nowhere anyways.. or sexting, hookup at most.

[@Onetalld1984]

@@winnied87 agree

[@zagnetov]

Never confront anyone alone in your apartment! Especially if he's catfishing you. Very dangerous! He could kill you

[@petrusrossouw6018]

I do actually like the fact that Grindr and many other apps allows anyone to connect with me. I find all that swiping to be exhuasting. I like a simple list of profiles with ideally a good 1st profile picture, where I can just quickly scan the list and see if there is someone piquing my interest. Then I will read the profile and send a message if all good. Tinder for me is for straight people only. Maybe in America it is full of Gays too, but not in Australia. Just because the likes of Tinder requires both people to swipe right, does not "prevent" someone else to catfish or scam. The only ways around scammers and fake profiles is for the apps and websites to enforce proper ident for ALL people, which they won't do. They want as many profiles of people as possible for the customers to peruse, and they don't really care if they are fake or not. How I deal with that, is I don't have a "chat" online with anyone, and def don't share personal info. If they are serious about connecting with someone for whatever,, including just having a chat, they will meet you in person. So I just pretty much straight away ask, to meet them in person at a bar or other public place. If they don't, then move on. I don't even ask for pics, because there are so many scammers and pic collectors, and so many pics are out of date. So I just refuse any pic request also. We can see all we want in person. In general, at least here in Australia, there are no apps or websites for Gay dating, many hookup sites yes. So one have to play that game and hope one person will actually like you more than just a one night stand. Or you have to take your chances at the one only bar in the city.

[@REALMAGGIETRUDEAU]

Only one bar ?

[@winnied87]

Really? Australia seems so friendly for an outsider.

[@mradaChris]

I think they are a waste of time. It was so much better in the old days when you met someone in person. These virtual flakes that are on dating sites are a waste of time for me. No one seems to be serious and all they want is to have sex once and treat you like a disposable diaper.

[@WellismoCoaching]

That is definitely one side of it, yes. It leaves a lot of us feeling pretty hopeless. I teach clients to use dating apps as a search engine to FIND people to then go on real, live, in-person dates; NOT as a replacement for dating. It's easy to get stuck in endless chatting and harder to bite the bullet and ask someone if they want to meet in person. I would disagree that 'no one' is serious; I do know for sure there are plenty of guys who want something serious. It's a matter of finding them that can be frustrating. Make sure your profile states clearly what you want 📱

[@mradaChris]

@@WellismoCoaching I was going to try tinder since you guys were stating it as a good source but when I saw the front page and all the young faces, I figured it was probably not gear for older men.

[@WellismoCoaching]

@@mradaChris Perhaps, but you won't know for sure unless you try...😉 Tinder is nice because you get matches that have already expressed interest. But message them as soon as you match with them instead of letting them linger. Good luck!

[@mradaChris]

@@WellismoCoaching I signed up and it is matching me with men who are looking for women! Just as bad as facebook dating!

[@GeraldSmith-hp2sx]

Nice comment

[@alienzardsketter.9076]

Real Life meeting total unplanned is the most pure way to meet anyone ,,, the Lonley hearts of 2024 is just the desperate seeking another

[@GayMenGoingDeeper]

There's something so special about those unplanned, real-life connections-it's hard to beat the magic of meeting someone naturally!🙂

[@aldrincatina3972]

Hi ,me also tired to find a good dating sites for gay..Im a gay from Philippines..I hope you can help me for this.

[@Booboobanana]

Tindr have some catchfisher as well tho.

[@adrianjoiceDS]

im hoping i can meet my special to my life

[@TheVonnieVonVonShow]

💯

[@GayMenGoingDeeper]

Thanks for watching!😍

[@ralphperkins7120]

Id love to meet some one to "help"me

[@AndaramPatel-kr2og]

❤yaha❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@AndaramPatel-kr2og]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤🎉❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@artigotale]

Monogamy all the way

[@GayMenGoingDeeper]

Monogamy is definitely a strong choice!❤

[@adambathon]

Calan you Babble a bit much lol

[@joselassalle4958]

Yuck!

[@UndieGuy1]

What a well informed and insightful discussion with such intelligent and experienced speakers. All of it is good and every gay person needs to hear this. Fill out your profiles and know what you want and be real and be respectful.

[@GayMenGoingDeeper]

Thank you for your positive feedback 🙏❤️