Gay Therapy: Dating Apps & Sex | Barrett Pall

[@steveungerblogeditor6297]

Might want to check out a program called nonviolent communication . NVC. It is really about empathetic listening. It focuses on the human needs that are common to every human being. When these needs are met people feel good . When these needs are not met people feel bad. So when you are feeling good or bad it is important to ask yourself what basic needs are being met or not met. So, for example, if you go out and have sex in order to feel better , and you notice that you end up feeling worse, the question is Which of your needs that underlie your emotions we're not being met. There is more to NVC than this , but it is a key distinction

[@swabby429]

The music is very annoying and distracting. I cannot watch more than a minute.

[@BarrettPall]

J Johnson it music be much quieter on my laptop. Will adjust for the next one.

[@john-ml3xm]

It was too loud to hear them talk and their conversation was a good one too

[@roderickshaka3626]

so proud of Nick's startup. can you tell him for us? we are proud he is doing such a noble thing and we are going to supprot him, let him never give up on it no matter what bc we need it.

[@yusepp]

Roderick shaka Absolutely agree.

[@brandonkalyan]

I enjoyed it, thank you for sharing such a relevant topic. It really struck a chord with me to hear someone articulate what ive been feeling for so long

[@ryanliberty]

Like all technology there's good and bad to apps. I think what Nick said about misusing sex to regulate our emotions is made even easier with some apps. It's interesting that so many people feel isolated - something I think we'd find true for social media too. I'd like to see more apps and websites designed with fostering connection in mind, especially for the LGBTQ+ community.

[@ransess3]

I love the message of this Gay Therapy, apps and sex video. The Only one thing that might make it better is to lower the background music a little, since it is competing with your conversation . But really , thank you! I Am glad you are doing this.

[@OLDS98]

The video was thought provoking. I have not used dating apps. I did use dating sites. It never worked for me. I did not have one positive experience. We have to look inside and look at our motives and think about the impact on our lives and is that what we want? Just thinking out loud.

[@jbeasl02]

Thank god your back online - keep doing this. Love the music just make it less prominent. Keep up the good work!

[@DarrenHothecreativeartisan]

Interesting topic. Apps have definitely changed the way of approach over the years. Depending on an individual and the intent that they are using it for. I do agree the change has been significant and the wants to have a personal connection on an emotional level has lessened. I hear where this topic is headed to. Thanks for sharing.

[@roderickshaka3626]

ok i love you, but the music is so depressing and distracting! Dude! I MEAN!

[@BarrettPall]

Roderick shaka noted. Will look for better music for next time.

[@shann7548]

I love your videos, speacily this topic and I want to see more of your videos. Like just blogs, your routine stuff, so may be , idk if you like to share what you do for Christmas shopping and how was your Thanksgiving. But I'm not sure if you wanna share personal life that much on KZbin. Another suggestion i have while watching this video, i felt that you were very robotic on the video, although you look so handsome but I would suggest if you have a guest try to make it as conversation and face little bit at each other. It's just a small thing. But anyways, hope to see more of your videos. 👐🏼

[@UzFermini]

You both are so beautiful, you should be a couple!

[@CharlesRexBeedy]

I've met some of my closest friends on a "hookup" app. True story. When it comes to apps like Grindr or Scruff, they can be TOOLS. Can you have sex with strangers using those apps? Sure. But otherwise, it can be an easy way to connect sometimes too. Plus, how some react or experience sex is different person to person. As long it's safe, consensual, and you use protection, then do whatever you want. That's just my opinion anyway.

[@oquefizhoje]

i quit Grindr and Romeo. I felt so isolated from all that stereotypes guys... it was a horrible experience. I felt rejection all the time. it was awful. I don't think gay apps will do anything good for gays. hugs

[@Zeyev]

Like several other commenters, I found it difficult to hear what you were saying because of the background music. I turned on the captions and got most of what you were saying but that presented other issues.

[@danielsamuel4803]

God forbid 😭😭😭😭😭😭

[@ArizonaWillful]

You two would be a beautiful couple.

[@g.elliott4789]

can't hear the dialogue

[@panavida]

Interesting topic. It is just that the voices don't sound clear and the "background" music has the same volume as the voices so it was hard to hear. Aside from that nice video

[@williambenson7197]

Good choice for a vlog topic.

[@markol7819]

Music is loud when you are talking

[@mattg3481]

I'm using Hinge, and it's definitely a substitute for genuine self healing work.

[@songsforsale427]

The music is too loud

[@spadrine]

Too bad I couldn't hear the therapist.

[@sergiotorza1463]

good subject, but I barely I can hear the talk..... kiss xoxo

[@Dannyboi2]

Seriously, I couldn't watch the whole thing? Why would either one of you need Apps for sex or as emotional support? Is that how shallow we've become? Anyone watch Friends? Are we so helpless and commercial that we need strangers to make us whole? This is ridiculous.

[@BarrettPall]

Danny boi2 I think you missed the point of the video, which is to deal with your emotions. Also your negativity is not productive and I hope you look inwards to find what makes you happy.

[@JKalama25799752]

Danny boi2 I’ve only just come out and have no other gay friends, let alone friends period. I’ve been trying to find ways to kind of make friends and seek people to become more connected to my local gay community but it’s so hard. I’ve tried with the apps but all I find is seedy guys who’re only interested in sex. Grindr and these apps have definitely made me feel worse and more alone and I can totally relate my situation with this video.

[@Dannyboi2]

You didn't answer any of my questions except criticize that I'm negative and not productive.. I would beg to differ if that's the way you suggest we deal with emotions. First and foremost we are all individuals and we all interpret things differently. I don't know you personally from adam but, I did not mean to be condescending. I asked legitimate questions. And @JKalama actually listened to you two and came up with an intelligent point of view I had not considered. Maybe I didn't explain myself clearly it was at the end of my day. I was more interested in seeing your beautiful eyes and be amused with your beautiful self . Than to see you squirming with another pretty boy about how rough you have it, that you'd even consider a Dating app to fill a void in yourself esteem or emotions. It came off as ridiculous, there are plenty of self help apps that are not hook up apps.That's where I had to turn you guys off, I felt I was being sold a bunch of BS, In my opinion. I felt there's no way you have ever considered a Hookup app was ever going to help you emotionally. It caught me off guard so, my reaction was to say it was ridiculous and go to bed. So, on that note I'm sorry if i was harsh or came off as condescending. I did get the feeling you felt very uncomfortable on the vlog and I should have shown some empathy or concern which is why I said (in a general statement as a question) how shallow we've become that we'd consider a Hookup app as a means to help us emotionally? Hence the name of the app HOOKUP, otherwise it should been called an app for Emotional Support. There; are plenty of those out there. I don't equate emotions with hookups. Those two words have a completely different meaning for myself. That's why I said it was ridiculous and I swear I didn't see the whole vlog because, I couldn't believe what I was hearing and seeing. Sorry, again I was not trying to be offensive and I should have been a little more sensitive, it was just not what I expected.

[@BarrettPall]

Danny boi2 we aren’t talking about our problems. We’re talking about problems as a whole. The more you focus on the vessel (our looks) the more you will miss the message and it does come off condescending to keep making reference to our looks. We’re looking to put positive messages out there in the community and create a conversation that is more productive than what we feel is largely out there.

[@Dannyboi2]

Please, don't ever use a dating or hook up app for anything but for dating or hooking up if you must. There's plenty of self -help apps, web, books, seminars, classes, community outreach, gay community centers. Just google it, educate yourself become an expert as I always say. Baby you be you and be honest with yourself. There's nothing wrong with being lonely and I have a motto I always say and believe in "Better to be alone than in bad company" You need to build , believe and love yourself before you can truly love someone else. It's been my experience that in reality we have very few Real friends throughout our life and many come and go even lovers. It's a miracle if we find someone we truly want to be with for the rest of our lives but, we try and I always say never give up. This quote is so true,' tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all” I'd suggest you read a book, that's not religious or preachy it uses a lot of obvious things and common sense to practice in everyday in life, Goes by the Title Don't Sweat the Small Stuff . . . and It's All Small Stuff - Amazon.com, it's taught me that we need to live one day at a time (In other words live for today tomorrow we can't predict or dwell on it as things tend to change) we can't change our past and we can't predict our future. I've found it to be very helpful for the last 20 years it's helped me deal with myself many, many times. It's my bible. I always repeat to myself "Don't sweat the small stuff" and it works like a charm. My whole life has changed like you wouldn't believe. I so enjoy being with myself and honestly I don't care what anyone thinks of me, I love myself and it's the best feeling. I don't need anyone to complete me, They might need me but , I'd rather be alone than in bad company.

[@powerblades]

I'm feeling alone. With or without apps 😔😔😔😔

[@hunterlikespiee]

powerblades yup, same

[@BarrettPall]

Why we need to create better ways to connect on all levels. Keep your head up and keep being amazing.

[@publicpitchblendeorg]

Who CARES about apps their best deleted phones are not for people unless they are willing TO CALL

[@AJABER71]

He's hot

[@publicpitchblendeorg]

They clearly want to communicate their love not help you

[@aaronjames4444]

I thought you two were brothers lol

[@waynemiami]

Hmm he talked really quite hmm and hmm