"Gay" vs. "Same-Sex Attracted": It matters more than you think.

In some Christian spaces, "gay" and "same-sex attracted" mean two different things. But why? And does it really matter?
Here's the story you've never heard of how one word came to mean two completely different things-and why our choice today of "gay" or "same-sex attracted" could have ripple effects around the world.
Thank you so much to my amazing patrons for making this video possible! Bloopers, deleted scenes, and other content are available as a patron exclusive. Visit geekyjustin.com/patreon/ to learn more.
A few additional notes after you've watched the video:
- For this project, I tracked the usage of these terms through mainstream books and newspapers, as well as boxes full of privately archived "ex-gay" materials from a variety of sources. Along the way, I discovered lots more worth digging into in future videos, so I'd love to hear from you if you found this interesting.
- That 1892 psychology text was Charles Gilbert Chaddock's English translation of Psychopathia Sexualis by Richard von Krafft-Ebing, originally published in German in 1886. As far as I'm aware, it's also got the first English usage of the term "bisexual" in its more-or-less modern sense.
- Frank Worthen really was the most influential figure in the founding of the ex-gay movement, and one of the few high profile leaders who never disavowed it. I digitized that audio clip of him myself from a cassette tape of Worthen describing the beginnings of the movement to a crowd of fellow ex-gays.
- About that press conference: Notice that Museveni doesn't even use the word "gay" in his remarks at all-and yet the misinformation and misunderstandings that drove his decision were directly influenced by the "gay" vs. "SSA" conversation in the US. (I spent many, many hours researching and tracking this just to be sure.)
In short, the American language misunderstanding from 50 years ago started a snowball rolling, but that snowball can have a devastating impact all over the world, even where the context is completely different and that particular language debate isn't relevant. Something that starts out being about a word can end up being about much more. That's why we need to understand this history and be careful with our language.
Thanks again to everyone who helped support this project and upcoming ones as well! If you liked this, you know the drill: Share, like, subscribe, become a patron, and/or bring me to speak to your group, and let's keep educating folks together!

[@johnk3223]

I find it a little strange that the term "gay lifestyle" is still used even thought its incredibly outdated

[@frankdeboer1347]

Thanks for this. As a gay but celibate man who is also a retired minister in a conservative church this has given me a lot to think through. Thanks again.

[@kineticpsi]

As someone thinking of joining the Catholic church, I'm really appalled by their pressure to use "same-sex attracted" instead of "gay." As someone that is gay, maybe just let me use the word I want to use when talking about myself and my feelings? That'd be great.

[@RichardDeacons]

almost 4 years ago, at 57 years old and in 20+ year marriage to a woman, I had to face the fact that I was gay (an incredible bout of depression DEMANDED I learn to be honest about myself). When I met with my Pastor, the FIRST things he said was "let's get one thing, I've known you for 15 years. You are NOT gay! You might be same sex-attracted but you are not gay!" I was so incredibly confused and, honestly, deeply hurt that this man who was a true and respected friend to me would so callously invalidate a truth I had battled against for decades upon decades. It had cost me dearly to be open about who I was and what had felt my whole life and this man was totally invalidating that, insulting my sacrifices and inferring that I was ignorant my own self. That was the last time I spoke with him. Now, seeing your video, I think I realize that he was simply using outmoded terminology that was incongruent with my experience. Thank you for sharing this. So HAPPY to have found you content!

[@craighoekema8609]

Thanks for this helpful post, Justin. For years now, I have gravitated toward the term "same-sex attracted" because it helps me not to think of anyone living with this experience as belonging to a separate category of personhood...whereas I became aware some years ago that using the term "gay" had led me to subtle forms of thinking that way. So especially as someone who speaks publicly on these things from time to time, it's really helpful for me to better understand the baggage that comes with the term "same-sex attracted" and the potential for miscommunication. I will do my best to be much clearer and more careful going forward.

[@lynnbaker2336]

The larger conversation that is not being had is " why is it so important for homosexuality to be seen as being chosen "? The reason is because, before something can be seen as being wrong, it first must be seen as being chosen, and, therefore subconsciously worthy of contempt and hatred through subjective comparison.

[@CAT-2323]

Huh. I never even thought about there being a different between the phrases

[@charlottekirkman3830]

So excited to see a new post by you! And you produce what everyone needs to hear. Please keep educating so that one day we can all be accepting and worship together. You are amazing Justin! Please don’t stop the videos. You are making a difference!

[@trevorhawkins3873]

Gets me wondering...... should we still be using the word "straight". Whilst it's meaning is generally understood widely, does it perhaps reinforce the idea that anything else is odd or different in a bad way?

[@coolfix948]

You helped me here all the way in Karnataka, India thank you for being honest Justin.

[@WHR0306]

I grew up with the same situation. People demanded that I call myself same-sex attracted rather than gay. It was so dumb.

[@matthewking8806]

What you shared on this video is so very helpful to me as a gay man and as an elementary educator, especially since gov. Ron DeSatan has signed the don't say gay bill into law in Florida. I live in Texas and feel that gov. hot wheels is not far behind the Florida gov.in punishing teachers for helping their LGBTQ+ students to feel safe and supported while at school. You are truly a blessing to the gay Christian community.

[@Mario-xr3jo]

One of the most insightful channels (if not the only one) on homosexuality/being gay. I am so pleased to discover it.

[@nimexwolf]

This topic has come up again recently in my life. There are many transgender men who identify as gay because they are men who are attracted to men, but not necessarily same-sex attracted. So even now, there are significant differences between "Gay" and "Same-sex attracted".

[@ForeverHeHim]

Hi Justin, happy to see a new video from you! It's so important to dispel the confusion and make the distinction between the terminology like these. Would you consider posting this on your Instagram so it can be publically shared on people's stories? Thanks!

[@the_UF365]

@GeekyJustin My pastor equated the last chapters of Judges, an area of the Bible that deals with the Israelite tribes killing each other because they did, "What they thought was right," to the "choice" of your sexuality and the way our society makes people believe that a man can't be a woman. A transphobic, homophonic, bigoted ideal expresses by a good man all because he was taught to believe that being gay was more than just attraction, but a sinful, sex-filled lifestyle. I feel like I can never come out to anyone in my church or my Dad without being told, "You're not bi, that lifestyle is sinful and disgusting," or, " Aromanticism does not exist." Everything about my Christian life could be ruined with the words, bisexual and aromanticism. Do you have any suggestions, Justin?

[@rd6673]

Thank you for taking the time to bring understanding and nuance into clouded corners, with compassion and clarity. It's great to see you on KZbin again! Missed your videos.

[@benkerns6011]

Wonderful research and historical context to help explain this really tragic misunderstanding that does matter. Thank you Justin.

[@jwilleseries7764]

I use the term Gay celibate to refer to myself because I am not interesting in sexual relationships before I am in a proper relationship with another guy

[@ojoudrills3916]

“Or watched rupauls drag race” lol. Although I don’t fit a lot a stereotypes, I sadly am guilty of rupaul-show attracted

[@alantabula5774]

Very interesting and enlightening. Thank you. Well done.

[@DaveJacobsMini-Pods]

Great stuff Justin. Keep it coming. You are a calm and intelligent voice that needs to be heard.

[@findwill]

Awesome video Justin!

[@ForeverSeekingChristTV]

This was very helpful Justin thank you. Honestly I termed myself as same sex attracted because I am attracted to men and not women, but I am celibate. However, with your education in this video it makes since that if people must need an explanation then I’m just simply terming myself a gay Christian who is celibate for my “identity” is through Christ Jesus. This video gives me a lot of relief, thank you brother and amen!

[@nancyeurell6040]

Wow! What a fantastic and informative video! Thank you!!

[@Rodan727]

God bless you

[@GreatGrannyFreeBird]

Just recently found you and appreciate all your doing to educate people. Your presentation is highly effective. I appreciate you going the extra mile. 💜

[@Qub4d]

Good to see new content, Justin. Thanks for your work!

[@majafahey1945]

Confirmed bachelor

[@lynnbaker2336]

Justin, im surprised that you have not said much about the term " homosexual lifestyle!" And its connotative oversimplified implication of choice and its impactive entrenchment upon the collective societal psyche.

[@adrianstaystrong]

I wish I could find more of this kind of content on the internet. Thank you.

[@Therose565625]

Great video, thank you!

[@markie10ful]

Thank you Justin. Well said !

[@simongoodwin926]

You used the term 'polite society', and then said 'even at your church'. That is fascinating to me because my very first thought when hearing the word 'church' is absolutely about an impolite society, based on prejudice, ignorance and a sort of hypocritical judging of and by one's peers, often I think to hide from one's own misgivings. I don't mean any offence by my comments. It may well be a late 20th century British perspective compared to an American perspective. I was still troubled by evangelicals as a teenager in Africa and honestly, I would describe it as a form of child abuse. So, for me, I find it very troubling that someone who identifies as a religious leader in some, and perhaps a majority of cases, are the least among us that should be dictating the terms upon how someone should live their own life. You're right about the lack of empathy, it's a cruel arrogance and goes against the true teachings of humanity's major religions. Personally, I have no time for people who espouse being religious and putting this before behaving in a kind and friendly way. If you believe in God, let him judge, you don't need to, you need to follow the teachings, and start with 'Love thy neighbour as yourself'. And if you can't, well, insert your expletive of choice, and Off! Thank you for your kind and friendly message, really appreciate it.

[@GeekyJustin]

It makes me sad that this is the reputation of the modern church, but you're certainly not alone in your feelings, even in America. Too many modern-day churches have come to represent the polar opposite of the life and teachings of Jesus. It's the worst kind of irony.

[@louisnotluis]

Hello Justin! could u please make a video discussing 1 Corinthians 6:9-11. it would be highly appreciated. God bless you!

[@pastoraaroncrowley]

Thanks for clearing this up so clearly.

[@bruceweatherly6559]

Love this video! I learned so much about the history of this term. I know you are not a political person but could you do a video about the Don't Say Gay bill in the future. I know a lot of people who are misunderstanding what this bill is and are using it to justify their homophobic behaviors by believing the bill will keep gays from grooming their children. Florida has passed their bill but other southern states are following their example. I would love to hear an LGBTQ Christian perspective on this situation.

[@rosalinddavies8466]

You gave me the context of the gay lifestyle

[@philparisi9175]

The song say, "I feel, pretty and witty and bright."

[@GeekyJustin]

There are two different versions of the song, but you're right; I said the "gay" lyric was in the 1957 Broadway version, but it was actually a few years later in the 1961 film version. Thanks for the correction!

[@dansaber4427]

You can be LGBT and Christian no problem 👬

[@davidoran123]

Some people are not born straight, that's all.

[@blvse4118]

Missed you!

[@tm33398]

This is an amazing explanation and one that I have seen in actuality with conservative christians!!!!!

[@CowboyRob1960]

Great job, Justin!

[@jeremywilliams3465]

You have been missed