How to respond to "ex-gay" claims

What do you do when someone claims anyone can become straight if they want to be-and cites a story to prove it? Here's the truth about these "ex-gay" claims and some tips for responding intelligently.
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Notes on this video:
There’s one more point that was in my original script but got cut for time and clarity. When I discuss orientation, I talk about gay and straight, but of course there are also some people who are asexual-attracted to neither men nor women-and some who are bisexual-attracted to both men and women. People will sometimes try to conflate bisexuality with orientation change, but being bisexual isn’t a choice either, and it doesn’t mean someone’s orientation changed. Nor does the existence of bisexual people mean that anyone could become bisexual if they wanted.
I have occasionally heard folks try to represent their stories as gay-to-straight when in fact they were bisexual all along. (Cue “Agatha All Along” theme.) But, again, as I say in the video, it’s usually simpler to focus on the “people are different” message rather than try to pick this apart, unless the person is very publicly open about their bisexual attractions.

[@ariaurre]

I also want to point out that bisexuality is a thing! 💜 Years ago I used to be one of those people who thought their same-sex attraction was "fixed". But guess who was just bisexual? 😅

[@GeekyJustin]

Yep! In an earlier draft of this video, I spent more time delving into how bisexuality affects all of this, but the video ended up being too long, so I had to cut that section and replace it with the lines at the end (and text in the description). I’d like to talk about this more in a future video, though, because there’s lots here to unpack. Thank you for sharing this!

[@timalexwar]

When I was active in the Ex-Gay world I did not believe that I could change from "gay" to "straight". My motive for participating in a four-year residential ex-gay ministry was to see how to live as a Christian with a homo-sexual constitution. I defined myself. And that allowed me the freedom to pursue a Christian life as the homo-sexual man that I am/was. But It's too problematic to explain my perspective; it requires a deeper conversation than most other Christians want to have. So eventually, I withdrew from the church. I regret that, but if I cannot be authentic in the one place in which I NEED to be authentic; it's just too frustrating. I miss the safety and the encouragement of church fellowship. But I lost the drive and the energy, and eventually the motivation to affect a persona which was not truthful and honest. Unfortunately I am still consumed, or preoccupied with the daily struggle with my relationship to God and my constitutional homosexuality.

[@jamiebeckham9367]

Your book TORN provides the BEST explanation of the "clobber" passages and well, basically the Gospel of Jesus that I have ever read, and I have read many books on Jesus, Christianity, etc. Thank you.

[@JanetDax]

Ok if you found jesus and decide not to live as a gay person, fine. What bothers me is the number of ex-gays who become celebrities and start making things hard for the rest of us. People can be wrong about their sexual orientation or identity. It happens. But for most of the gay and trans community, we are hardwired to be who we are. You can't free a fish from water.

[@DontIgnoreMe]

Excellent video and great arguments. I came out to my grandparents recently and they have told me stories of people they know who have been "released" from the "spirit" of homosexuality, hoping I will meet with their pastor. These tips may help me communicate with them.

[@mercenaryknight5419]

Correct, and it is annoying to see people on both sides ignore bisexuality, as if it did not exist.

[@GeekyJustin]

You’ll be happy to hear that my next video is all about bisexuality. 🙂

[@rtjahyadi7868]

Thanks Justin for this perfect rebuttal video, "I used to be gay but now i know my identity is in christ" I believe that line was popularised by Christopher Yuan in his book of out of a far country. I actually sent an email to him asking whether he's still gay after having finished reading his book, because his book conclusion doesn't make sense to me, he seems to dispel that there are many gay people who have been Christ follower long before they even realise they are gay, so I asked him, has his orientation changed? his response is that line...."I used to be gay but now i know my identity is in christ"and also "the opposite of homosexuality is not heterosexuality but holy sexuality", maybe that could your next video on how to response such claim? : )

[@jake8286]

I think bisexuality is overlooked on both sides of the discussion. One's identify might change over time, especially if they are in the middle. But this does not equate to a gay person becoming straight though.

[@bryanchin856]

Hey Justin, thanks for sharing your insight into this issue. It's help me a lot in facing all these claims of changed orientation that are mostly (if not entirely) false. And indeed, we are all different people and that it's best to realize that changing orientation has done the opposite of what it was set out to do. It's still a learning curve for a lot of people, to which some people seem unwilling to climb because of deeply set-in beliefs.

[@ConstantSurprises]

So clear and informative. Defining terms is so important. When engaging in conversations with people, this is a great place to start.

[@user-zh5sv3op3n]

i recently found your channel and it's great. love the way you talk and present your points in a concise and organized way!! thank you justin ~~

[@MusicalRaichu]

I wish God would turn my dog into a cat. But it would freak my wife out.

[@mountwalker2785]

I really would like to thank you for your well-thought and intelligent videos, they deserve many more clicks. Especially this "gay lifestyle" thing is something i come accross frequently and i always try to ask what this shall be and it very often appears to be associated with partying or drugs or multiple sex partners. One way to clear this fog is great video creators like you and of course those in our camp who do not live according to those stereotypes and who should be much more visible to the general public.

[@davidevans2838]

I love your channel, Justin! Every video is incredible, especially this one.

[@kikithepupper6774]

geekyjustin I am so thankful your channel exists and thank you for your content. I'm a Christian biological woman who always had trouble with gender identity, but what has led me to seek your channel was that my best friend is Lesbian and I have been wanting to invite her to church for the longest time, but almost all churches I know believe homosexuality is sin and cannot exist in Christian community.. it got me questioning if that is so. I'm learning a lot from your contents.

[@QueenOfHeartsHeart]

Also maybe some of the people saying that they changed were bi

[@TheRockk35]

So much clarity ! Thanks for this video, Justin

[@noahgray9451]

Is there a reason you don't bring up bisexuality? I think a lot of "conversion" stories can probably be attributed to it: they used to be attracted to the same sex (and still are), but now theyre attracted to the opposite sex (and always were)

[@GeekyJustin]

I did if you watch all the way to the end! The reason I didn’t discuss it in more depth is that I decided to split that off into a separate video all about bisexuality. It’s up next! 🙂

[@notthebird5246]

This video is so grounding and validating! Thank you so much!

[@robsmoar]

Once again, thank you for your videos Justin. Love this one, well explained !!

[@keithrogers4170]

Yes-in the UK parliament,we're having a debate on a motion to ban conversion therapy,and it's likely to pass by a wide margin.... Hopefully this will stop some of the spiritual abuse and psychological harm that is being perpetrated.

[@ethelpittaway2138]

I have your book Torn and recommend it often. Thanks for a great video.

[@markchristopher6213]

Wise words effectively articulated as always, Justin. Thank you.

[@GreatGrannyFreeBird]

this is pretty big news for me. I do not watch TV, don't have cable, don't keep up with politics so… I'm just learning this. And, I believe you. recently found you through Kathy Baldock (who I just found a couple months ago).

[@musicsmith14]

Thanks for another good video with a lot of good and clear information.

[@suddenIypineappIes]

wow what a refreshing perspective! thank you, God bless!

[@lucasmbarbosa]

This video is simply amazing, thanks Justin

[@pastoraaroncrowley]

Thanks! This will help simply explain it when ppl bring this up. :)

[@Hellokitty_391]

Well by that saying then i have to say that i'm an ex-human and now i'm a rock. I'm subscribing btw ❤🎉

[@denisemast5040]

So good Justin!

[@rafalprokopiuk949]

Soo logic! Graet video!

[@crayolamowa]

Aaaand, also there's bisexuality /pansexuality. That conversation keeps getting avoided

[@connorsmithmusic]

Important info!! Thanks for this Justin ❤️

[@OpenDoorMedia]

Great video Justin! Well done 👍

[@ChicanaCuriousMama]

LOVED this video Justin! It answered some nagging questions I had about certain popular Christian speakers/KZbinrs who have these “dramatic changed “ testimonies. I’m so glad I found you and others with similar testimonies. 🙏🏼🧡❤️💜💙💚