George Carlin - Traffic Accidents: Keep Movin'

George Carlin

[@JoggingOnTheMoon]

"I drive kinda recklessly, I take a lotta chances, I never repair my vehicles and I DON'T BELIEVE IN TRAFFIC LAWS."

[@br1an_b]

Someone should have this playing in their car during a road test.

[@NilasThomsen]

Without a question one of the best stand-up pieces I have ever seen. Not only is it extremely funny, it speaks volume about human nature - our excuses for not taking responsibiliy and our desire to look at others misery.

[@BootCampWuTang]

"Pardon me, officer, would you mind dragging that twisted-looking chap over here a little closer to the car, please? My wife has never seen anyone shaped quite like that. Look at that, Sugar Lips! That's his ribcage sticking out the glove compartment. That will be all, officer. You can throw him back on the pile."

[@TomDeVito]

"And off I go looking for a little fun perhaps a tanker truck filled with human waste will explode in front of the Pokemon factory"

[@Valiordruid]

Ahh, George Carlin. The one man who could make running away from a traffic accident seem both logical and hysterical.

[@jaswinderrai3170]

Hbhkfckuyboutrstsluyfu Tsrhdjychdtdmutg.igkitfuoijPij Kuhn.ougliygliygliygyglyglily

[@illogicallyinsane1510]

Did it just seem that way?

[@OffendingTheOffendable]

I laugh as I pass the moron drivers

[@OffendingTheOffendable]

@@jaswinderrai3170 what the fuk are you smoking?

[@AmazingStoryDewd]

Nothing he has said here is advice anyone should follow. The only people who run on pure logic without any empathy are sociopaths.

[@DennisWDobbins]

"Surely, the people you ran over caught a glimpse of it at the last minute." LMFAO

[@potentially__9445]

George Carlin OPENLY expresses what we ALL think and feel.

[@LAkadian]

Not in this bit. He was mocking sociopaths. You might wanna get a psychiatrist.

[@freebandz4332]

⁠@@LAkadianwhy? So they can try to get me prescribed a bunch of narcotics that addle my brain activity?

[@RalphCQ]

"I either ran over a sheep. Or a ran over a small man wearing a sheepskin coat. And I don't know, because I didn't stop!" Best comedian ever.

[@danielcrowe8110]

This man was a comedic genius!

[@MrJayra210]

"I am curious George!" Love that. and "Never mind that , I wanna take a look!" Great bit.

[@jordanarend6644]

“Perhaps a tanker truck filled with human waste will explode outside the Pokémon factory” lol!!!!!

[@CB-ke7eq]

I mean, if you were a terrorist looking to really get the world's attention...

[@BrianKolb71]

I grew up listening to George but this has to be one of his best skits.lmfao

[@buffalotamer]

A master of language, thank god that George Carlin wasn't a politician (that may spelled wrong... but fuck it as I was saying before I completely interrupted myself). If George Carlin were a politician we would be living in a better world, a more exciting world. R.I.P. George Carlin

[@james_fisch]

i wanted to let you know 11 years later, you spelled politician correctly and laud you the award of not going back to find out if you did or not. It happened back there! And of course, RIP Carlin. I enjoyed growing up twice with him, once in childhood for his narration, second in my teens for his standup.

[@buffalotamer]

@@james_fisch This comment sent me back in time! Holy crap! I was awfully brave to not even check. Not anymore!

[@james_fisch]

@@buffalotamer I love finding comments from way back when in hopes the poster is still around lol. Joe bless you!

[@theseattlegreen1871]

Most truthful comedian Ever!

[@susannebass1883]

Rip George 🙏We all love and miss you ❤❤❤

[@quantumastrologer5599]

Making short work of 'good advice'... What a master.

[@vante379]

What can i say, the man was a legend!!

[@balkaransingh2989]

I think he is being sarcastic and criticizing people who hit and run away but would stop and watch when they aren't responsible....ooooor he is just crazy

[@Bobby-fj8mk]

Yes - it's satire.

[@danbuchner28]

He really cracks me up!

[@rj_c2571]

““ARE YOU HURT?” well of course they're hurt! LOOK AT ALL THE BLOOD”

[@trentondean4606]

This never gets old

[@issabeganovic8822]

Never has such a sociopathic meaning had such practical logic behind it.

[@Xanatos712]

This doesn't seem like the product of a healthy mind... And I like it!

[@SANDSCORCHER]

I must be having a thick head day, It wasn't until about four and a half minutes in that I realised George was joking about and having a dig at the kind of people that do what he was describing. Nicely done Mister C. Another classic. 8) Holy shit, I wish he was still around :-(

[@lucanina8221]

After listened to this I want to start a traffic accident marathon on youtube

[@bh9262]

Finally a KZbin video with some volume! Awesome and thank you!

[@donnacrockett]

rip bud you are the best

[@xxxx2228]

That's true! What's done cannot be undone.

[@annagross9837]

I think my father was there. This time when Carlin was telling this joke. Because I recognize his laugh. Hehe.

[@Xanatos712]

I myself am from the Carmageddon School of Driving for the Chemically Imbalanced. Wish I could've taken a road trip with this guy.

[@KitsunenoHibi]

XD Surely they caught a glimpse... hahahaha!

[@fredziffel3443]

Leo: did you get the tag number of the vehicle that ran over you? Me: No, but I got the serial number off of his drive shaft, if that will help!

[@dorothycoleman4834]

i love George♡♡♡ ♡rip♡

[@mudathirnour7404]

"Leave these people alone"

[@johndanielson3777]

“I am Curious George.” Yes you were. You were Curious George.

[@averyms]

He’s hilarious.I don’t always agree but the way he puts things is so funny I can’t get butt hurt. I’m too busy rolling on the floor trying to catch my breath. Too much cake and tacos can make it hard to breath. Trust me on this and don’t ask.

[@Loonaticx]

Mia Avery no need, and godspeed

[@toainsully]

The new Thomas the Tank Engine series looks good.

[@rosannaburt3048]

not same without him mr conductor even remember shiny time station lol

[@Brent22596]

Genius

[@MomoKarain]

Only George Carlin can tell you leave a person or animal to death and make you think it is the decent thing to do.

[@paramsuman2]

762 likes, 15 dislikes ==2% dislikes. finally the people are able to see the brilliance of George Carlin

[@sheniachriten2901]

Wow! American lawyers getting ideas for defence strategy’s from George Carlin

[@rickwaldron4255]

Wish Carlin had three boys so they could carry on the carlin art would be cool too see a nother carlin

[@james_fisch]

why three specifically? just curious

[@Cassiehd]

Legend!

[@Psycandy]

never gets old

[@mixupyoursocks7016]

I WANTA TAKE A LOOK!

[@johndanielson3777]

I AM CURIOUS GEORGE

[@TomDeVito]

@@johndanielson3777 I'm never to busy that I can't stop to enjoy..SOMEONE ELSE'S SUFFERING

[@kMC303]

@WastedofAir Nah I stand by Carlin and use it as my morale code everyday I go out into the world.

[@navrajkok]

great comedy

[@FluffyBunny9002]

I accidentally hit a cat with my car and this is actually helping me get over it. Haha. I can't find the animal to see if it's okay, but at least George is here to console me.

[@james_fisch]

I know it's been forever since you wrote this, but how long did it take to get over that? I haven't hit a cat or a dog yet and while believing in no deity for the purpose I'm about to describe, I pray that I never do as I know it would sink me internally for a long time. Good ol' Curious George has been great in moments of grief in general though. My dark side in that moment would be saying "leave these people alone. haven't you done ENOUGH?"

[@FluffyBunny9002]

@James Fisch I just kinda let time do it. Funny (or not funny) thing is I actually hit another cat on that same road a few months later, and also couldn't find that one. I've been driving for 20 years and never hit an animal besides those 2 cats in that same area, so I started calling that place "Suicide Cat Road."

[@laurencealonzo2245]

Imagine you get into a car accident and injure yourself and George Carlin’s on the other side of the street laughing at you

[@JerkItWithJergens99]

i miss this guy

[@Einherj1]

Talk about black comedy, hilarious as usual!

[@josephstevens5870]

One word-Genius

[@Venaloid]

I'm pretty sure Carlin was semi-trolling this one.

[@misablue3259]

Dark humor is like eating a human..not everyone can appreciate the taste of it..

[@DoctorNickSaidHAI]

"I AM CURIOUS GEORGE!" XDD

[@SadButter]

I heard earlier today about a chain car accident including 17 cars. Now after this I realize that I should have been there at the time.

[@ImSuperJesus99]

It's over now, stop living in the past!

[@dreamcaster4eva2011]

pfft this guy is being sarcastic & what he has just finished talking about is exactly what most people do in regards to traffic accidents. There are more people in this world who don't give a shit about each other than those who do. That's the point of this thing. Who knows what George was really like in real life.

[@herbtenderson7335]

Gold

[@BigWesLawns]

vote down people who fight in the comments and they will be removed. it's the youtube safeguard!! carlin would be proud that you took initiative!!

[@vsallbutme]

sarcasm my favorit :D

[@11guyinthechair]

Hey! WHO HAS TIME!!!

[@InfinityDz]

@kaofpm He's not to be taken 100% seriously. The guy said himself "I love criminals more than policemen, even if the criminal's gonna kill my whole fuckin family". He also said himself that he voluntarily exaggerates his anger and the things he says. He's a comedian, he's here to make you laugh. He supposes that his audience is intelligent enough to know when he's joking and when he's not, and not to follow blindly anything he says (like a certain group of people)

[@o0Loucypher0o]

@kaofpm He just attacks people who stop to watch and won't help. You did the right thing obviously. There are many people out there who will stop at an accident and watch without helping. To make matters worse some of them tell others that actually provide first aid, that they are doing it wrong, without wanting to do it themselfes instead.

[@chrisflowers-smoker154]

Thought of this with the Accident outside. LOL

[@randommindz6782]

tanker truck exploding infront of a Pokemon factory...oh god!

[@DoctorNickSaidHAI]

@Goingsomewheresoon The people that dislike him are the ones who are offended by the things he says about them. Religious people (generalization of course) I'd imagine are very much so offended by him if they've heard some of his other stuff.

[@michaelng1869]

Stop living in the past 😅😂🤣

[@freddiejess]

Tony maybe you should have watched where you were walking. George Carlin is a comedic genius. If you don't like what he has to say don't watch the video. Its called comedy

[@Hrmn042]

I actually knew a couple that would get in their car as soon they heard an ambulance driving by. 😶

[@Arxiuz2]

THE POKÉMON FACTORY

[@epiphonelespaul4]

No, he is just honest.

[@PRChristopher93]

Real mature.

[@bp408]

2 trains & a chicken truck. fucking epic.

[@BoyInTheVault]

@MikeTap4321 yes its good

[@piemonkey321]

@TheBoredProle It was nice writing to you too :)

[@Drewitall54]

People, people, STOP LIVING IN THE PAST.

[@BackwardsRiddle]

I had tickets to see him live one week after he died.

[@spikey12121]

Did you go? How was he?

[@asiminamaria]

pokemons never die!

[@urgfswallows]

I'd like some of what you're smoking please! Thank you.

[@magician168]

front row seats :)

[@MikeTap4321]

@shadyzone20 you got that right!

[@SpikedLamb]

Pokemon factory? When did this special air?

[@extraterrestrial16]

Its a bizarre situation really because when u think about how when people say that they dont like to follow rules, some will say that they are somehow trouble makers and basically making it hard for people..and yet if we only had people following the rules etc, well then we would have it where we wouldnt know how to challgene certain criteria of society..

[@gillestremblay3465]

Well, I guess the main purpose of this routine could be: take that f______ mirror and see if you recognize yourself in it! All these road rage incidents didn't come from nowhere, ain't it?... Bloody hilarious, by the way.

[@yourealiti]

4:16 george turns into the Joker LOL!

[@cryptkeeper5027]

Not just a tanker truck. A tanker truck filled with human waste. 🤣🤣

[@RammsteinXgta]

2 people are twisted-looking chaps

[@KiddCrowley]

I can probably disagree with this bit. But then again, but then I remember it's funny and entertaining then I stop giving a fuck and enjoy it :D

[@NKP723]

pokemon factory!

[@asiminamaria]

muhahahaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, perfect man

[@jeffblood7094]

What standup special is this?

[@mikemohn3379]

What is truth contest?

[@texasB666]

Funny stuff :D

[@djfhsig]

to bad this didnt work when i said what he said at cort i wish i was geroge carlin

[@ShadowWorldSniper]

@WhiteFang103 Lol, but come on its true.

[@Newmindframe]

Do your self a favour, count your blessings, be glad it wasn’t you!

[@To-mos]

because they think we give a shit

[@Joshoptimus]

So this is the guy who played Fillmore?

[@14metallicafreak]

6 people got run over!

[@PRChristopher93]

6 people are not Curious George.

[@swlover1]

Is that what you want???