George Carlin - Dogs

One of his best

[@suboopc640]

this guy was incredible

[@deelight4097]

There will never be another George Carlin. Whoever uploaded this thanks. I grew up with this guy...no wonder most comedian's aren't that funny to me.

[@codyallen8061]

Dee Light check out Tom Segura if you haven’t yet. Disgraceful is a great special.

[@LMAODOODZ]

@Pritom Sarker I take it hes awful? The only comedian I actually like nowadays is Lewis Black. He reminds me a lot of George Carlin.

[@Aaron-is8yt]

Bill burr is pretty good

[@n8with8s]

@@Aaron-is8yt Bill Burr's older stuff is good

[@n8with8s]

Check out Bill Hicks

[@timhand4560]

"The more I learn about people, the better I like my dog " Mark Twain

[@chipsthedog1]

Never trust a. Person who doesn't like a dog but always trust a dog that doesn't like a person

[@HispanusCandor]

"The only real friend one has in the end is the dog ... The more I get to know the human species, the more I care for my Benno." - Joseph Goebbels, Nazi Propaganda Minister

[@markoconnor4380]

Was the only friend he had !!

[@elbarto4815]

Where did Twain say that? Genuinely curious.

[@andrewhorry9417]

@@chipsthedog1 I don't give a f*** about dogs and I guess I'm not to be trusted but that is not true that is a stupid ass analogy but I do agree if the dog doesn't trust you you can't be trusted.

[@Sinvention]

The cat bit is just absolute perfection and so true. 😂

[@LadellTurner]

🤣🤣

[@garyrouyea3450]

mouse don't feel that way...

[@danielpauldebs6526]

Comedian/social commentator/educator/master of the word.

[@datsnazzyplumber3498]

and narrator of the first thomas the tank engine tv show

[@mattlsmith20]

"Not me. Fuck that. I'm a cat." LOL So true!

[@zaboza2011]

mattlsmith20 something broke? ask the dog

[@justjakewolverine4619]

mattlsmith20 Cats have the only constant fart........it's called a litter box !

[@atompatriello9740]

mattlsmith20 Ask the dog

[@kenweser4773]

mattlsmith20 "Something breaks, ask the dog!" Oh yea.

[@alexp.d3689]

F*CKING MIAOUUUUUU ...Lol

[@charlesdarwin7253]

Carlin was the 20th century's Mark Twain. In 50 years we'll be handing out Carlin awards.

[@heatherdoll1151]

I think George loved animals more than people. Miss you

[@rodgerwoods4971]

I trust animals any day over humans 😊👍

[@karenmarsh1067]

@@rodgerwoods4971 the best way to experience civilisation is by getting away from the animals That why I like the woods

[@rockyevans1584]

You guys are aware that people are animals right? Feel like that's news to you

[@calebwatson5144]

This guy should be in a hall of fame for comedians. This has to be the funniest comedian thats ever been around.

[@wildernessman760]

This act is spot on everything he said is 100% true!

[@ceteraurban]

I was thinking the same thing!

[@djdelugach2402]

George Carlin and Richard Pryor....The 2 most insightful and legendary comics I will ever have had the pleasure to have followed throughout their careers...RIP to both of them. The tears of laughter I have spilled watching these two giants could fill a swimming pool...If there was a Mt Rushmore for comedians, you know George and Richard would be front and center...

[@mouchiecat1]

There’s an episode of Johnny Carson tonight show when they were both guests on the same show. It’s really amazing.

[@TheReal1953]

Carlin's humor was more intellectual, while Pryor's was based on life experiences/observational, not the least of which was growing up in a whorehouse. Both could bring an audience to their feet.

[@johnschaefer2238]

DJ right you are laughed so many times with Al Sleet The Hippie Dippy Weatherman and Mudbone.

[@SteveZanadon]

Handle every situation like a dog. If you can’t eat it or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

[@leewatson6599]

Steve Zanadon or screw it

[@comit8077]

@@leewatson6599 nah that’s less fun

[@rockyevans1584]

How's that work for dates, Steve?

[@supremekenj4202]

fuckin meow

[@gurikasemit]

fookin meooooww

[@giuseppevilardo9372]

Genius..miss him!

[@davidcarlson2152]

_They'll do two things in a row that don't go together._

[@TheDood71]

This is what introduced me to this great man. I was about 14 or so. I laughed my ass of from this great HBO stand up. I taped it with a boombox and replayed it on my walkman....for those who remember. I can remember me and my family all watching it and just on the floor tearing in laughter. That is why my friends. Since then I have seen it maybe 60-80 times....I don't have my inital reaction anymore...but I am always smiling....peace GC...we love you.

[@caylemoore3474]

His "God damn doggies" gets me every time

[@critter7052]

Rest in piece brilliant comic, George! Thanks for all the laughs.

[@grumpyoldfart7302]

When my dog farts, everybody runs, even the dog. His farts peels the paint off the walls.

[@jred7]

Dang, man, change his dog food.

[@grumpyoldfart7302]

jred7 He don't eat dog food. Mostly beer and Pizza like me.

[@geraldspencer1956]

Ewe! A dog's beer fart? That's worse than a human's! :D

[@grumpyoldfart7302]

Tell me about it. He got into some ham and Lima beans once, and i had to keep him outside for 3 or 4 days.

[@seagecko]

Does he fart, then look over his shoulder in surprise at the noise? My dog used to make a face, as if saying "who did that?? It was ME?!"

[@petermrgoudas7572]

I am taking the opportunity here to say "Chapeau" to the late George Carlin. A dazzling and insightful fellow who knew how to convey, while putting his ideas forth and make you laugh in the process. Mr. Carlin zealously delivered his controversial and spirited presentations without looking at notes which demonstrated a remarkable knowledge of history, cultures, and capability to memorize an enormous amount of information, facts, and stories old and recent. George Carlin was simply "one of a kind" Thanks to the Internet; we can today appreciate and value his work as he brightens up the globe with laughter. George; the world misses you and will never be the same without you!

[@seagecko]

Well said!

[@radaloui9312]

"Tried to make the window from the lamp" is such an iconic line for me

[@slayerofturks7467]

Now after this video i understand more things about my dog than any guide or how to on the internet.

[@glenfenderman]

George Carlin's description of cats make me love cats even more!

[@owenlewis7928]

""Isn't he a cute little- *HOLY SHIT!*"

[@alibaba-xf6yo]

One of the best comedian that ever existed.

[@UFO_808]

The best

[@khaleedevans9334]

please Daddy...just...One... more.. Treat...!!!! funny

[@deanambrose6593]

Khaleed Evans it was the eyebrows that got me XD

[@nunosoares2329]

Rest in peace George. Thanks for making us laugh :-)

[@thanksfernuthin]

I really think this is the best bit he ever did.

[@seagecko]

I agree!! Which is why I decided to upload it solo

[@jaro9467]

If you don't own a pet, watching this video is the next best thing.

[@dianekennedy2444]

I thought I was going to die laughing!!!

[@josephcusumano2885]

I know!...the dog farted!!!...😂 priceless!.

[@johnensel6295]

FYI ...George is watching after your dogs AND cats in heaven until you arrive.

[@jinhan5129]

Dogs are the best thing that happened to man so respect and treat them well

[@heatherdoll1151]

I am laughing my a** off, so true George. Tell it like it is!

[@jsteel89]

dont say ass ;)

[@freeanimals594]

I personally simply adore when a dog tilts its head. So gosh darn cute!

[@diloo1861]

2017 now...lots has changed but...nót the unconditional love dogs give...please be sweet to them

[@danielvanhorssen1325]

yayyyyy

[@MrMJmusicLover]

This is my first time seeing the young Carlin. 🤔 I can see the older Carlin through his young self.

[@Ooo92291]

"AIN'T HE CUTE, LETS DROOOWWWWN HIM!!!!!"

[@emilylawrence7677]

I lost my fuckin shit

[@jonessoda4me1]

Matthew Smith WITH LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@2009korz]

Oh look he's playing with the mouse BULLSHIT!!!!!!!! THE MOUSE DONT FEEL THAT WAY

[@codyallen8061]

The first time I saw this bit when I was around 12, I couldn’t have imagined that was the next line. It’s perfect every time.

[@josephcusumano2885]

😂

[@jefffriedberg]

THAT IS ONE OF THE FUNNIEST ROUTINES i have ever seen. Maybe the funniest.

[@theydoexist6691]

2:58-3:04 Mental image that can never be unseen

[@thoughtsurferzone5012]

Carlin set us straight on everything.

[@Bordie3D]

I love this bit. One of my favorites. A long with his time bit.

[@George_Clooneytunes]

I end every single day with a George Carlin video.

[@Poodle3624]

Stig Lauren Nothing wrong with that :)

[@jonessoda4me1]

Stig Lauren you are very wise

[@HaleyBug221]

My cat actually does look at me with that needy look, so does my ferret..my cat wines and wines till I agree to pet him or cuddle him. Ferret will stare at me until I feel sad

[@2011Azure]

Perhaps your cat should go to AA. Some cats just whine.

[@LMAODOODZ]

@@2011Azure AGAAHAHAAH

[@marytarantinoo9118]

I agree completely or in my case, cats. Animals are instinctive, but they also think and communicate. I,m convinced they are getting smarter and more articulate as time goes by.

[@nedrini1387]

Fuckin meow!

[@proud2bpagan]

My mom's dog learned to spell 'bath'. My dad would talk about giving her a 'b-a-t-h',and as soon as he spelled it,she'd go running to my mom for 'protection',lol.

[@oanapaunaro]

Hit like if you are listening to this in 2018 and think he's still relevant to the modern world!

[@kdcustoms1272]

not sure if he was before time or ahead of time.

[@seagecko]

He is even more relevant today. If you look at the millenial trends, Carlin noted them years ago. All the PC. The over indulged children. Sad but too true

[@Zladnyl]

@@kdcustoms1272 For you and everyone else, he was ahead of time, in every word he spoke he was ahead of time. Everything he said is not only still relevant today, but it is even more wise, relevant, important, credible, and relatable and still stands very well, and proves a good point. He knew what he was saying and every bit of it was extremely prophetic, hence why he is the greatest comedian of all time, because he wasn't just a comedian...

[@thc7865]

He will for ever

[@zoranrokic2607]

2019

[@jedibill111]

I don't know who posted this but, Damn man, Thanks

[@seagecko]

Thank you :) I had to keep this gem for posterity

[@josephcusumano2885]

Saw this on HBO when it first came out years ago, havent seen it since til now. Thank you so much!

[@florentinovasquez3801]

LET'S DROWWWWNNN HIIIIMMM!

[@crimsondeath84]

I have a little dog who rubs on me like a cat does and sometimes he does the figure eight. He usually does this when he see his leash and he knows I’m about to bring him outside. It’s so adorable.

[@Puvwilmo00]

"What's that? Not me. Fuck that, I'm a cat."

[@matthewnovakoski6203]

Unconditional love ❤️

[@babyyoda1758]

Young carlan is way different he really hit the mark in old age.

[@WaveOfTheRager]

1 thing seeing this is Carnegie Hall, was how happy bill Burr was for playing this venue

[@denisehedden13]

Lmao,,,I always thought he was so Awesome

[@denisehedden13]

He was too funny. !!!!

[@paladinmixer6735]

Did you know you can make a dogs head tilt around by making a funny noise? *squeaks* Nyx (my dog): *head whips around* *little woof*

[@marshahanson5870]

I like his bit about us making a dog look at another dog on tv. Its a party if it’s the same breed.You don’t see a dog trying to get us to look at the same “breed”.

[@wombat6]

I've mostly seen his latest stuff. Most of it is very harsh on american politics, american culture, and american people. And then there are older bits like this, it's a fantastic piece of comedy and noone gets offended. Not even the dogs.

[@seagecko]

Yup. This is a rare gem of Carlin where he refrains from offending anyone (except the cats, and they totally deserve it! "I meant that... f*cking meow!" LOL).

[@wombat6]

@@seagecko nahh cats don't give a fuck so it's fine (I've owned several, I know what I'm talking about)

[@matthewwynn3025]

@@wombat6 Yup, cats do not give an absolute fuck. Especially former strays

[@matthewwynn3025]

@@wombat6 There was this cat that we brought in one day when he showed up at our backdoor, when I was a kid. He was a kitten but about a year old. His tail was totally fucked up, it only has fur at the base and the very tip, because some dog had clamped on it while he was running away. I remember finding that cat on the backporch and convincing my parents to take him in at 8 years old. (his tail healed after a couple months btw). His name was chewy, and he was fucking fearless. In his younger years I remember him waking us up in the middle of the night, fighting with some other cat. (The preamble screams usually woke me up, then I'd heard them fight) He had Accumulated so many wounds by the time he was older, I can only describe his ears as being tattered. Even in his last few years when he had lost both of his top fangs, he could still kill bunnies, chipmunks, birds, and lizards. It was rare that he ate parts of his kill, and he would often bring his kills/ still alive animals into the house. This is how I was able to examine in his later years when he only had two bottom fangs, how he killed the animals. He would use his two remaining fangs to fuck up the heart and or lungs, (usually one of the fangs would get the heart). My little brother and chewy had a special relationship. He is the cat whisperer, he would walk around the house with that cat around his neck like a scarf. I will never forget watching him die, it was one of the two times I ever saw my dad cry. I buried him years ago, but that cat was a survivor

[@clark5401]

What about when the dog is laid with you on the sofa and you fart and it gives you a look of disgust and then gets off the sofa - goes across room - lays down and lets out a disgruntled sigh lol

[@seagecko]

Absolutely!

[@marshamariner7897]

😂😂😅😅🤣🤣😹😹

[@beastmaster0934]

My last dog would sigh whenever you told her not to do something bad. She was like a moody teenager.

[@wolf1066]

I forgot something when leaving the house, came back in through the other door (which did not involve me walking down the long gravel driveway) and got an absolutely *foul* look from my dog because I walked in after she'd settled down on the sofa. She jumped off the sofa quickly but the "guilty" look was overshadowed by the "you tricked me, you *bastard* - that's entrapment" look she gave me. So, the *real* reason that dogs greet you eagerly at the door is because they're consciously hiding the fact that the minute you left they got up on the sofa or bed or wherever it is they're normally not allowed to be and they only got off it when they heard you approaching. "You're back! Thank goodness, it's been so *boring* being here _behaving myself_ all alone and I totally *didn't* spend the whole day sleeping on your bed pretending to be the master of the house." He wasn't wrong about the eyebrows, dogs can use them to give you that "please, I've been starved to death all my life" look while you're eating something - despite the fact they just hoovered up a large bowl of food, in record time, not yet thirty seconds ago. *Dogs* can certainly get embarrassed. One of the dogs was sleeping and you could tell he was having a nightmare as he was whimpering and jerking in his sleep. The whimpering and jerking got worse and then the dog lept up, snapping all around him and snarling, trying to deal with whatever dreamed-up threat was tormenting him. Then he realised there was nothing there and then looked around, saw me and instantly gave a cringe reaction that just screamed "oh, fuck, someone *saw* that!"

[@chipsthedog1]

So true they all have different personalitys, my fav dog quote is, Never trust a person that doesn't like a dog but always trust a dog that doesn't like a person's

[@seagecko]

The starved look is used by toddlers too! Even if they just finished eating

[@wolf1066]

@@seagecko Yep. All four of mine did.

[@bobdavis4848]

I thought dogs whimpering and twitching in their sleep meant they were having ANY kind of dream. How do you know they only do it during nightmares?

[@wolf1066]

@@bobdavis4848 Dogs, like humans, dream whenever they sleep. They *do not* whimper and twitch *every* time they sleep. On the occasions when they are whimpering and twitching they are clearly distressed. The story I recounted, the dog was clearly having a really bad dream that resulted in him waking up abruptly and still thinking he was being attacked.

[@dillanw1380]

" You know what I did? I rolled a can down the hill and hoped a truck would run over it!!!"

[@fduranthesee]

lol

[@tamirshahin]

i thought you're not coming back i thought you're not coming back , i did not know what to do i did not know what to do .....EPIC LAUGHS

[@user-pl6lp5ch3t]

I love this skit😂😂

[@davet1517]

miss my doggie died not too long ago had him 15 yrs like a son

[@abc456f]

I just had to put mine down yesterday, 15 years too. I loved him and miss him more than any living thing in my life.

[@jML18222]

what a master

[@allys744]

One...more...treat

[@marshamariner7897]

Our dog knew the words. OUT. Car walk. We had to spell and after awhile he knew the spelling

[@tntkitty3595]

My favorites are George Carlin and Robin Williams. They are just naturals.

[@jeremysimpson2476]

Will you stop it! I was just here!!! That's my black lab.

[@goalhorn2012]

THE *DOG* FARTED!

[@davidhornbeck1470]

One of his best bits, IMO. “This fucker drops one Ju-ju-be and I’m going for his femoral artery” lmao!

[@sackjepticeye5453]

soon i'll be rubbing on his leggg

[@jonessoda4me1]

Sackjepticeye hot shit dude!!! Rubbin on his leg oh boy oh boy

[@AAAAAAAA-vd6zv]

Holy shit he was mobile back in the days of youth

[@eli8589]

They look like they know something, about your motha. 😂😂😂

[@anatalelectronics4096]

just discovered George Carlin

[@seagecko]

LUCKY YOU! I've watched him so many times. He is well worth listening to. Enjoy!!

[@nathanielstringer6382]

I miss the dogs, Mia was like a baby 2 me

[@impulsiveray5586]

Fuck that. I'm a cat.

[@atompatriello9740]

Impulsive Ray ask the dog

[@Arachnes_Corner]

5:06 That's not an impression of a dog. That's an impression of a phone on vibrate. Which makes it an impression of a dog.

[@MyIrules]

"Where the fuck's the food?" So true of my dog.

[@alejocmoralesjr.1057]

Miss Him and Richard Pryor Mostly, I hope to see them Again...GOD Willing 😻

[@seagecko]

Thank goodness for the internet. Else we couldn't see them ever again

[@alejocmoralesjr.1057]

Thanks for liking my Comment...! 😻

[@suzylux]

Carlin was a cat person, no fucking doubt ;)

[@johannes1653]

Suzy Lux he had many dogs tho

[@johnensel6295]

The absolute BEST description of whom dogs are...( if I don't know their name I usually call them guardians).

[@kellyshea92]

I love my corgi

[@danielvanhorssen1325]

oh yeah yeah

[@josephcusumano2885]

Effing meow...effing meow...effing meow!!..😂

[@JasonJason210]

Classic

[@judithhodgins5337]

hi from London!

[@edsoderlind7568]

yup

[@chulafferty6695]

I hope comedians never end. God 🙏 bless your insight on life in America. Sorry George about the notation of God. You and Me Richard Pryor sneaked in and broke down the Elephant in the room. We should be eternally grateful to you both. We do have a couple of comedians today who have continued in your legacy. All homage to Mr Dave Chappelle also Mr Chris Rock and Mr Kevin Hart. I am sorry to say that white America has lost their ability to take.a joke and laugh at themselves. White comedians have lost their moxy to put themselves out there and talk about white America as needs to be done. Fear is a terrible affliction Thank you George for your fearless nature you are the Lion in the room.

[@alejocmoralesjr.1057]

I’ve always had cats there so damn Kool..!

[@jerryupp9387]

Couldn't hear sound this morning but can now. Must have been weather making my phone have problems this morning

[@danielvanhorssen1325]

best story

[@drchilapastrosodrlasmacas438]

Dogs are so muttarded and they are the entertainment of low brow people.

[@eli8589]

Try to make the window from the lamp... 😂😂😂

[@manchuratt8900]

That cat bit just killed me. lol.

[@iran4040]

this video makes you reconsider owning a pet.

[@seagecko]

This video makes you really want a dog...

[@forgetmenotofficial6821]

How did he just start scootin along on his feet?

[@jonessoda4me1]

forget me not official that’s my favorite part as he’s jumping around

[@iddra1918]

cocaine

[@LadellTurner]

Try to make the window from the lamp.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😃🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 On the cat injury.

[@MummyDemon]

OMG!!! I LOVE THIS SCETCH!!! :D

[@zaboza2011]

MummyDemon oh boy! Oh boy! she likes this post oh boy!

[@evelyngalinac6621]

I damn near piss myself!!! So, so true!!! E from the D

[@rjcrjc4853]

6/1/2018