Find Yourself Attracted to the WRONG People? WATCH THIS

[@AmandaRestivo]

You're not dating a person, you're dating a style. SO Good and true!!

[@judyb0216]

Men who were in recovery. They struggle with their purpose. They are seeking a mother not a wife. Emotionally unavailable. Situationship not a real relationship.

[@oglingling]

Yup! As a serial dater of men who choose to be sober now, I cant tell you how many times I come across a great minded individual but the very thought of him having to reorganize his “routine” just to find time to call is so disappointing. Highlighting the fact that what ever age that person started using once they get sober mentally they start to grow again. You’re dating a 40 yr old man who started using at 15 and he has been 5 years sober? Congratulations you are mentally dating a 20 yr old. 😂

[@livwithnewinsight]

Yep...

[@coricalvert8216]

Mathew you are correct about being with a bad boy. I was married to one for 23 years. Instead of being exciting & dangerous he was lazy, boring, out of shape, and indulged in everything to excess. Throw in that he is a narcissist and there you have it. We have been separated for over a year. I am back in the dating pool and working really hard not to discount guys for things that I have only seen a glimpse of the whole picture. I think I’m very gun shy and sometimes look at things as a red flag because the truth is…I have no idea what a healthy relationship looks like.

[@KimberlyBellamy]

I gave up. I'm not happy but I'm not as miserable as i would be in a relationship. I can't get hurt If I don't allow anyone in.

[@hollygrace6814]

im in the similar boat, i wouldnt say i give up, but i am way 'too' happy on my own. why would i want anything else

[@KimberlyBellamy]

@@hollygrace6814 letting someone in seems too big of a risk that I just can't afford. My boat is floating above water. I wouldn't risk allowing someone aboard that could cause my life to capsize. Better to be safe than sorry. It's great you are too happy for someone. Relationships are a joke at this point.

[@Poison_Orchid]

@@KimberlyBellamySame. I have some theory to share... I think that relationships are overrated in society as a "key to happiness". Many people who even dont need to be in a couple naturally from their inner impulse are socially/ culturally forced to be with someone, even if they dont want to. And when you find someone, it's like getting a validation from society "Well, buddy, now you're ok") Same thing I see about having kids. So people try to date, build relationships, but if it's not their own inner desire and desicion, nothing works out.

[@KimberlyBellamy]

@@Poison_Orchid I totally agree. People think that they are supposed to find someone, marry, and have kids. People act upon what is culturally " normal" then still find themselves incomplete. There are couples out there who have been through a lot and made it through on the other side, however many don't make it. I'd would rather stay single and find my own happiness than to put my heat and feelings into someone else's hands who don't even know how to handle me or be a decent person themselves. People are too influenced and pressured by others to be with someone. It's overrated and a trend that needs to be over. People get into relationships for all the wrong reasons and treat it as a after school activity.

[@KimberlyBellamy]

@lalisa5215 Huh? What are you talking about?

[@evilmastar]

This is so true. The guys who actually loved me and made me happy are the ones who didn't fit my type(Physical). But mentality and compatibility matters.

[@oirauca4]

I used to think that way but then I realized that if “my type” has not worked for me for years then probably that’s not the type good for me or even compatible. Give people the chance to surprise you :)

[@eden9776]

@AliSand pretty similar to my situation. I met someone online, we are from different countries i felt a connection and that was the first time I feel something like that especially online he said just the same thing that I felt i didn't even tell him first.. so he talked about marriage in the first he , I'm not gonna lie I enjoyed talking to him we played games like truth or dare stuff you know lol.. he was just excited as I was but at the same time I felt that he kinda fake/toxic, I really felt confused of wether to trust him or not, was I right or was I just delusional..

[@nessauk2786]

@AliSand I just fell for it also ...I can validate you here because these people are fake as f...I'm sorry anyones going through what I'm dealing with atm...x we get there

[@MFarley3]

I'm attracted to people who need help but aren't ready to recieve it

[@Julia-lo3sy]

I noticed that pattern in myself as well. Have you figured out a way to tackle this?

[@MFarley3]

@@Julia-lo3sy unfortunately I haven’t :(

[@Julia-lo3sy]

@@MFarley3 The search continues! Btw I recently learned that this behaviour might have to do with the anxious attachment style and it makes sense. I'm planning on reading the book "attached" so let's see how it goes

[@MFarley3]

@@Julia-lo3sy I struggle with crippling anxiety so I agree. I had a very harsh mother(German) growing up with very little patience which I think plays a strong role.

[@jenniferl1908]

I finally learned that most people are good but have unresolved issues and trauma and we attract them for karmic reasons. I think saying you attract the wrong people is misrepresented. There is nothing wrong with having standards and wanting a certain type of partner.

[@wendysylvain4273]

So true !

[@amyli092]

Honestly, that last point Matthew made about seeing the whole picture instead of picking apart my trauma was very comforting to hear.... It's easy for me to get caught up in my own negative self-talk at times. I know that my emotions aren't always reliable. I also know that my intuition isn't something I should avoid or repress. Getting out of this hellish trauma bond that my brain has created only seems to work once I've gained some distance and time away from said person. It doesn't help that I have to work with him, but I have a plan in mind. This current state I'm in won't last forever....

[@niveditapoojari3806]

Your videos does help for people to have logical thinking and approach towards relationship as people often get carried away not being aware of how a relationship should actually work. Good work🙂

[@capoeiristachik1]

Most of the things we find desirable are things we have been conditioned to desire in society or due to familiar experiences. People who “just aren’t attracted” to a certain race are mostly being influenced by the oppression of that race. We have to push outside those limitations to truly discover ourselves.

[@TheBiggestMoronYouKnow]

Total lack of humanity seen in a group of people is the truth of it 😢

[@martiprice4761]

OMG - I feel like you guys open up my brain and rummage through all my thoughts and feelings!! Every session is so pertinent and soooooo helpful - it won't be long until y'all have turned me into a Normal Person with a Real Love Life instead of one who continues reliving the series of dumpster fires I've survived in the past!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!! YTB❤️

[@bibilym4514]

Have been following you guys for years now! We’re still together and we’re in a relationship! It’s so interesting because we’re both in therapy (separately) and the relationship can feel foreign sometimes because we’re used to dating either more anxious or avoidant partners due to childhood and dating trauma. We’re not initially each other’s type lol, but we communicate, are open with one another, and it feels like we’re building something…a “castle.” You guys have helped me become more secure, and regardless of what happens in my current relationship, I want to say, thank you!

[@amber4027]

Absolutely. We re-pattern our childhood love that we were shown. So unfortunately if you were modelled dysfunctional love, you have to be aware and work on that or you will re-attract that type of love bc of familiarity and subconscious need to fix that past. This is why shadow and inner child work is so important too.

[@saphira122mimi]

So i am gonna tell you the story of me and my best friend. I am 23. We are friends since highschool, so like since we were 15 years old. He liked me at the time, i didnt like him back. He really tried and insisted and i just kept pushing away, but we stayed friends. We eventually dated other people and had break ups and all, while being friends. Now we are both almost finishing our masters degrees. In the last summer, our friend group was far from us, so we kept hanging out but only the two of us. And so I started getting confused about my feelings. But i didnt want to say anything because I really wasnt sure about what i was feeling and i didnt want to give them false hopes and hurt him again. But he eventually felt the same vibes and asked me on a date, just like in highschool. And this time i said yes, but i was always honest that i was so confused about what i was feeling. This would make an amazing love story and all. But it didnt. I tried everything guys. I was the one to make the first move on the date and kissed him. We kissed multiple times even and i didnt feel anything. I was honest about it and we broke things off. I hurted him once again. I cant really feel bad because we both were super honest and we knew the risks. It was an experiment. But i got so hurt too because i couldnt stop thinking "Wtf is wrong with me? Why cant I like him in that way?" And is just how it is. I do love him, i am just not in love with him. Attraction is a very complex thing in deed.

[@TheBiggestMoronYouKnow]

I find that I have to just fully commit to relationships for me to fall in love. If they aren’t my best friend, it probably won’t work out

[@stayhappylittlemermaid]

Follow the way that your heart leads you.

[@eden9776]

Then my heart is a labyrinth

[@carmenkamberos1156]

I wasn’t looking for love, it just happened!!!

[@cherryblossom1501]

I have a type and it’s blonde, tall avoidant boys with blue eyes who like to travel 😅 Two of them even had the same first name and were from the same city 😳 After a couple of times of that I’ve finally broken the pattern after lots of internal work and therapy 💕 I can say that breaking the mold has worked so far!

[@monikabennett]

Any wisdom you'd like to share?

[@carmenkamberos1156]

Monica Bennet, hi, Just be open minded. The personality of the person is very important. Their values, their approach to life in general, understanding, wisdom, politeness, originality, kindness , generosity, well, all or at least most of the virtues… chemistry, rapport and yes good looks, that is, not a frog. One can never find that nice package all in one person, unfortunately. But settle for someone close to your fit or else stay single. Blessings

[@firelily77]

My parents were married 51 years before my dad died. Im on my second marriage of 17 years and neither have been successful. I was modeled a very successful marriage but for some reason my experience has been totally different.

[@ShadeCandle]

I think this all applies especially to physical type and those more superficial attraction points. However, I think a lot of the things we're naturally attracted to are reflections of our core values, and it is important to find someone whose values and lifestyle preferences, for example, are in alignment with our own.

[@andrearowe4815]

Core values. Yes and How lifestyle preferences.?

[@adrianazollo2688]

Love yourself first

[@ladyd6610]

A kiss is a threshold. If you're lucky as this girl than great. But if you don't like a kiss nothing will help. It's nothing to do with logic or types🤷🏼‍♀️

[@lozannevanniekerk5489]

Growth is important. Different is good it's a good thing . Too much of a good or a bad thing is never good or bad 🤣

[@TheGoddessEnlighten7]

I was just thinking about my own patterns…this video is very insightful.

[@janathena7164]

I realized that I married someone just like my father who was a covert Narcissist. I am drawn to all types of Narcissists according to my counselor. I am trying to remedy this tendency.

[@TheBiggestMoronYouKnow]

My insecurity made me into standoffish people

[@imak6392]

For me often it's the other way round - I consciously choose somebody who doesn't seem to be my type, sombody really different and then they turn out to be equally as toxic or married as the people before. Then I feel cheated by my subconscience

[@addyzee1335]

Lol you’re funny. 😛

[@PushPastParalysis]

This video is amazing. You’ve been on a roll, Matt!

[@user-pd2yt6gq7i]

Hi🙋‍♀️ I’m in that place exactly where mentioned BB was. And I started to second guess myself… because he isn’t my normal type…and in that day this video came up😆 and now I’m giving him and us a chance…and there is such a chemistry and that really shocked me😅 so wanted to thank you for this video and reminder to sometimes not analysing things but go with our feelings 🙌🧡

[@vananhtrinh8732]

I got problem with Inner child, I always need someone who takes care me much but I fell in love with bad guys. And some crazy men were attracted by me.

[@jojomariejosee]

You should look into Harville Hendrix and the imago. It's about being attracted, in a subconscious level, to traits (both negative and positive) that our primary care givers had. Very interesting

[@karunapandey7089]

The truth is everyone is toxic 💀

[@ritadjbelkacem3235]

This truth is based on your bad experience, actually you simply didn't find yet your soul mate so keep going till you find it don't forget you're learning too.

[@MrColdNoodles]

Everyone is crazy, but not everyone is toxic. 💓

[@therefurbishedlife]

That’s saying that you yourself are toxic too. When people say huge umbrella statements like this , like “everyone cheats, everyone lies” you haven’t met enough good people, you’re speaking from only your personal experience, which is very very small compared to the entire population, or your own vision of yourself.

[@therefurbishedlife]

@@alisand2371 everyone has imperfections. All imperfections are not truly toxic. Some may be and that is a problem, a problem that people can (if they choose) work on and change. If people were incapable of change and progression, what is the point of life. Allowing toxicity brings down people around you and yourself causing unhappiness even if a person who is toxic doesn’t realize that. If you think about the most respectable, kind person you know in the world, do you still say they are toxic or is it more that they have some imperfections which is a truth for even the most amazing people. Toxicity and imperfections are at different levels they are not the same thing.

[@GidarGaming]

More like: The truth is *MOST PEOPLE* are toxic for *YOU*.

[@nellymeizerovich4900]

Great topic!I just broke up with a guy who was younger and i decided that I deceived better but I felt so good with him.idk if I did a right decision even tho the attraction was logical

[@komred64]

Deceived?

[@Amanda-bc9ke]

In the past 2 years I really focused on casting a larger net and tried different guys because I didn't want to miss out on the right guy because I was too picky. I've gone out with many different looking guys, different politics, different personalities and lifestyles. I'm focusing more on how they treat me. Unfortunately for the past few months I mostly attract men who are flaky or guys I find out are still married. No thanks. It makes me wonder why I am all of a sudden attracting these. I'm at a good point in my life, feel secure and happy and emotionally available. Why am I constantly attracting the polar opposite??

[@carmenkamberos1156]

You are on the right track Amanda. Be patient , the right fellow will show up sooner or later. Blessings

[@anastasiabatyr8325]

When I met my husband I choose him because he was all the things I wanted to become. I promised myself that if I wouldn’t reach my goal and couldn’t make him happy, I would leave. Then I spend a lot of time growing and actually hit my targets. I don’t know if it was the right thing to do, but it boosted my motivation and now we’re 6 years married and I’m pregnant with our second child 🙂

[@tugzsurf]

I think lifestyle is important and what I usually put first and someone who has morals and values. I want to Mnt bike and surf on my trips and my free time. I also have to date someone ambitions as I learned through dating it annoys me to be working harder than a man. If we don’t have the lifestyle I never see my boyfriends and then they try to change me. So I think lifestyle similarities is important along with other things obviously more than looks. 😊

[@kathyingram3061]

~Unhealthy dynamics with parents growing up is often a big factor in choosing similar unhealthy relationships as an adult~

[@georgiajones3039]

I keep ending up with abusive narcissistic partners, who are all lovely in the beginning? My mother is a narcissist, how is this fair? argh I don’t want this

[@accrualworld318]

You know what’s funny. The argument Matthew made about preferences being a form of self hate is the argument some make about people who ONLY date interracially. But no one wants to talk about this because it might be seen as racist.

[@carmenkamberos1156]

Accrual world, not only interrational but also ethnicities.

[@olejdi2092]

Matthew, you're our angel. Thank you so so much! Always

[@kifacorea]

To be fair. We assume we're able to date everyone we are attracted to.

[@heyyfirefly]

in one word: trauma bond

[@FreePalestine123-b1x]

Appreciate you guys 🙌💜

[@المعزوفةالصامتة]

Why the relationship seems hard to get, why always there are techniques to stay in fruitful relationship ?? or why we should try to be mysterious most time so the partner or lover stays excited about us ? Why it is hatd like that ?i think there are relationship without all this without this overthinking. I feel the life hard this way. Cuz tge relationships means we need to feel easy and comfortable not to plan things to keep it and watch our actions all the time

[@purrmoon4519]

agreed. often I get confused when it is said that true love are destined to be naturally whereas some also said true love requires efforts (in a meaning where we plan this/that and always aware to behave in a certain way).

[@dreaming_of_that_mbbs_mbchb]

Can you do a video on people that are cryptic…. When they admit to being cryptic but know it is distressing for you. Is you tell them you’re confused about where you stand or what box you’re in and they say “sorry I’m a bit cryptic aren’t i” and then you reply “yeah you don’t give anything a way” and they leave you then on unread for weeks. It’s like breadcrumbing but worse… why? How? And what do you do about it? I’ve been in this situation and I’m seeing it as a huge red flag to “I know i am upsetting you, causing you hurt and confusing you I know it keeps you in my fishing line and I don’t care…” how do you view this?

[@georgiadevine8674]

Ok but “a mouse riding a unicycle into a bowl of custard” got me good😂

[@MrColdNoodles]

For me, they are always left handed. Explain that one???

[@MrColdNoodles]

@AliSand you're kidding?? There's gotta be some science behind this. 🤣

[@Analysis_Paralysis]

Well, Mathew, now I'm hungry. 😄 Thank you! Lying awake in bed and thinking about pizza... 🙈Gonna have to eat pizza tomorrow... 🍕

[@sophialule395]

💔Since October this year

[@marieb06]

Same ❤️

[@MrColdNoodles]

❤️

[@GalacticWoman]

Familiar means safe

[@hajji1509]

Yes, probably and often they're not safe at all. If it's true that we subconsciously choose those to play out our childhood patterns (dysfunctional) it's very difficult to even recognize it, nevermind heal it. 😔

[@melisalercari4334]

I love your channel ❤❤❤

[@pippigreenheart]

Hola, When women are ovulating for a few days each month, they are hornier and send out pheromones that people pick up on. Do you ever discuss this in your videos? Women can pick the wrong person at this time because they just want some action! Haha.

[@lozannevanniekerk5489]

Which slice of the pizza are you going to get ... 🤣

[@elliottfireice4394]

Ham and pineapple?

[@thecommonsensecapricorn]

Matthew definitely has a type, though lol. I was just thinking that watching a different video of his. That famous girl and his now fiancé have similar looks.

[@SA-sp2bm]

I was born into a dysfunctional family so that is what I am used to or I have had.

[@KastilIslam]

ERDOGAN'S SPEECH (FEB 28, 2017). Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. Muhammad Qasim saw Erdogan in a dream.The president of Turkey was speaking to a huge crowd. He said; "O...people of Turkey we will make the Ottoman Empire again and all these powers that I've been getting are also a part of it. Now we will regain the lost status of the Muslims. After addressing it, Erdogan sat in his seat again. He had a smile that was filled with so much pride. It made me feel that with this much power he will claim to be the Mahdi but Allah Knows Best. Then I saw big people of evil forces become angry when they saw this. They said that this man is very dangerous, after getting this much power he will be able to do anything and his plans are dangerous as well. And if he wants to be like the Ottoman Empire then he will be even more dangerous". 🌟Please find more of these important dreams of Muhammad Qasim. We are the last generation in this world.

[@jarinantarasinthia6019]

Well I always attracted to jerks 😂😂😂

[@carmenkamberos1156]

Karin Antara says she’s attracted to jerks. Well, it seems jerks have good taste too! Just don’t let them in your life. Blessings

[@serradjsoma8240]

Thank u 💜💜💜

[@jarinantarasinthia6019]

Excuse my language 😕

[@martianwalker31]

Audrey is French, yet she speaks native English, wow✨

[@anah_mello]

I want to leave the limbo 😅

[@bibillageart4476]

you're defnitely flirting mathew and the lady looking cute

[@eaguas90]

I have watched the show for awhile…I am just curious why MH’s gf in on? It’s just not her area so I am confused

[@MasegoM04]

Narcissists

[@elliottfireice4394]

Who are?

[@alexandermatthewsmusic]

I always like the wrong girl I say do you want a coffee and they think I'm the smelly poo loo ooo yucky!

[@Cee_Eff]

It seems that most women act like that nowadays

[@emailaddress111]

Offer dinner instead and see what happens!

[@alexandermatthewsmusic]

@@emailaddress111 maybe try that one one of the days thanks!

[@Cee_Eff]

@@emailaddress111 she'll get a free dinner and either ghost him, or have the "feeling is not right" immediately after he pays the bill

[@emailaddress111]

@@Cee_Eff everyone is entitled to their own belief systems.

[@barnalibhattacharya2265]

Hey My ex broke up,i had a trauma experience during the corona phase with my granny and aunt passing away and ever since my mind got a little toxic due to the negativity and loss,he was the only one besides mom dad who stood by me so i got a little too clingy and dependent and unknowingly toxic because now i placed the responsibility of friendship, bestfriendship,boyfriend everything on him,we were a long distance couple and after a long time he just said we aint working and broke up!I was so broken i had begged to him to stay and that ill change but he was clear with his answer,he wanted to stay friends,he even acted all sweet but cold too when we were talking,,but i stopped talking and its been 4 days i didnt reply neither he contacted.I love him dearly and somehow i want him because we both have had a good time and moreover i feel we both were the opposite gender versions of us and got along so well,provided the fact he had a group of friend he was overwhelmed to stay with and unknowingly prioritiesed them first and i unknowingly started getting defensive anxious and my fight language as response.Except for this it was awesome we would plan stuffs and many more.What to do?im implementing the no contact rule but i cant stop thinking or crying on how beautiful it was 1year earlier and how it is now,acting all like strangers.I want him back not need him!

[@angelmidknight3119]

That comment of gay men only saying they are falling for straigth men as "testing the waters" was so tone-deaf. It falls in the stereotype many people fall into that "hehe don't fall for me if you're gay" "he talks to me so probably he's attracted to me 'cause he's gay". Dude, queer people are normal people not all women are attracted to you and not all gay men are attracted to you. i'm glad Matt disingaged from that.

[@Andrea-Rose]

❤❤❤

[@soccerspidy18]

And no woman allows this for men

[@kostyboy24]

With this “pizza” reference, wouldn’t that be also describing being with having sex with one person your whole life? You kinda just described why people can’t be with with one person forever.. its not “pizza” anymore 🤷‍♂️

[@lanafontaine936]

Interesting...

[@TheBiggestMoronYouKnow]

Yup. 100% go poly or open at least

[@paolanamuncura8879]

This stuff is boring

[@michellehonaker4546]

Then don’t watch it. Problem solved.