You’ll Push Him Away if You Try Too Hard. Do This Instead - (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)

►► Confused about what to text him? Just copy & paste these 9 FREE texts → www.9Texts.com
▼
Don’t Miss Out! Subscribe to my KZbin channel now.
I post new dating advice for women every Sunday.
▼
In this week's episode of LOVELife, I speak with Sarah who had just started dating her "dream guy" before things took a turn for the worst when she left for a week. With his attention lost, we discuss the subtle ways she can regain it.
Video links at the end:
How To Be Sexy Without Sex Before Marriage: • How To Be Sexy Without...
How To Make Him Commit: • How To Make Him Commit...
►► FREE download: “9 Texts to Get Any Man” → www.9texts.com
►► FREE download: “5 Compliments to Get Him Addicted to You” → www.SayThisToHi...
▼ Get My Latest Dating Tips and Connect With Me… ▼
Blog → www.gettheguy.c...
Facebook → / coachmatthewhussey
Twitter → / matthewhussey

[@Melmaegwen]

"If he is not into you, no amount of trying is going to change that" ouch. Truth hurts but this is so true... unfortunatelly

[@icecreaminc8013]

thats the message she sends him by taking this guys advice... so its ok for the woman to send the message, *not interested, better things to do* then turn around and go "hmmm he didnt chase after me.....he must not be into me" *LOGIC FAIL!*

[@UnDefinedLegacy]

Ugh. I should have learned this years ago. 12 years down the drain.

[@aleena158]

To all of you!!! Read this book called 'Choose the Second Male lead' by Harui on WATTPAD!! Will help u guys a lot...

[@sherikwasnik7064]

OMG. Yes. This just happened to me. He was so sweet and funny and kind. He made me feel so special and like I could be myself around him. He dropped me off after a date, which I thought went really well, and he kissed me and I felt like a million dollars. He said I will see you tomorrow and left me smiling ear to ear. Literally 45 minutes later, I got a text that basically stated that he didn't feel that I was what he wanted in a relationship. Ouch. I was so stunned, dumbstruck, confused. Fill in the blanks. Wow. Here I sit feeling rejected, and led on. What do I do now?

[@nora22000]

Drop That Man Forever Already--DTMFA because he wanted to create a 'perfect date' experience to say goodbye with. Just let him go and find someone else. If he changes his mind, he will try to reach out to you again sometime. And then I would go really slow with him at that point.

[@crystalkinchen7292]

"You liking him, has nothing to do with you caring about whether he likes you". -Yes Matthew!

[@verafung6913]

This is so true! Everyone is his/her own individual person. You like someone that doesn't mean he would reciprocate.

[@starlonely2793]

yes ! as much as i expecting he does care for whatever i do and change his mind ,it doesn't work ! but stoped and giving space is better choice, if we both belong together definily will combine together

[@Chamka1000]

I don’t agree with that

[@mariepetterson7281]

@@Chamka1000 You don't have to agree with it, but it's still the law of the universe.

[@anuradhachaudhary5734]

There is nothing sexier then minding your own business....that was the best part...such an wonderful answer!!

[@anuradhachaudhary5734]

+The Smoker Not every one is destined like you. I do agree with you. But it was only the case when some one really loves you...one cannot spend his/her whole life chasing someone. So its better to give your best to your own life first rather bothering about someone who takes you for granted.

[@kimgordon3695]

💝💝💝

[@javiergutierrez3612]

Advice to women from coaches, let him reach to you, let him show you he is interested. Advice to men from coaches, let her reach to you, let her show you she is interested. ...They both waited by the phone.

[@starlightlovev938]

javier gutierrez 😂 this is so true. I’m so over this advice.

[@BanzettiAMV]

One person will be chasing the other person is running, that's when the advice applies. Otherwise, it's just not meant to be. Sorry :(

[@kaalapanchi9107]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@marysemiaa8720]

😂😂😂

[@EasyBreazyB]

I guess there has to be a balance, sometimes he chasing her, sometimes she chasing him.

[@roseann_ramos6434]

don't try so hard!.. focus on yourself make a better version of you!.. don't make yourself always available, be busy enough to do other stuff.. make him wonder, show him you have more important things to do rather than being with him.. "absence makes the heart grow fonder"

[@MouthwashTyphoon]

It also makes people lose interest if they think you don’t care about them.

[@kurisktan]

Treat your partner as you treat your bestfriend.

[@strawberries23]

I agree

[@TilskKarishma]

@@kurisktan then they will always keep only a friend... sadly

[@justinnaarden9290]

" show him you have more important things to do rather than being with him.." Definetly dont do this lmfao....This will set you up to live a lonely life trust me on that.....However you can show him that you are not always available....Bad advice..

[@bupbeinc]

Watching this video feels like talking to my dad, thank you- from a girl who grew up with an absence of a father.

[@bt7846]

Why are you covering up your eye?

[@ilincapreda5815]

BUPBE INC Exaaaactly!

[@chardeemcdennis6073]

same

[@kaneshirogirl]

oh I feel you girl 100% here's another form to say #metoo :)

[@kurrves]

BUPBÊ INC I agree. Never had such good advice since I also had an absent/deceased Father.

[@zoeybarnett374]

SO ignore a guy and they like you.......but actually focus on him he doesn't like you.......... Men say girls are hard to understand.

[@cute.poison]

Zoey Barnett so true!! Ahahah

[@gbessone]

I think this advise goes totally both ways. Most of matt's videos should be gender neutral actually because they work so well regardless of wether you are the girl or the guy on the relationship

[@bdbcyan6698]

Zoey Barnett if a girl ignores me I feel like she doesn’t like me I think it’s best to be somewhere in the middle like don’t be to clingy but don’t ignore him

[@kellyratana7348]

The knowledge that he is shearing is actually from his experience dating woman so....

[@LaNoturna]

Zoey Barnett He shared his own experience on how when he tried too hard with a girl he liked, she didn't like him back, but girls he didn't try hard with and was just himself with did like him. So I'm not understanding how you're making this a gender issue when he clearly discussed how it happens to both men and women.

[@EdzDayuha]

“The one for you will like you as much as you like him.” Never waste time figuring out how to get him to like you, instead focus on upgrading yourself! ❤️ love you Matthew 😍

[@medycc1970]

Absolutely, he's not the only man in the world.

[@jamespatrick5750]

Contact him on whatsaap...

[@jamespatrick5750]

[phone]

[@maddyG7414]

When he said hi to Sarah and asked how she was I melted. He's such a sweet heart.

[@jessicavincent2450]

Maddy Harvey true

[@Gerelisf]

I love to hire Matthew to just talk into my ear all the time.

[@andygiroux2848]

what

[@muznmadani3387]

me too lmao

[@Synthesiser91]

+Gerelis Feliz I'd like him to do more than talk in my ear :P

[@CellGames2006]

These 4 comments are a small universe of how you get the girl and how guys don't get it.

[@jasmineflower9127]

I agree! he's super sexy and cute! 😄

[@IAMCHIDERA]

‘What you’re feeling is a real feeling’ I absolutely love the validation

[@funnyremyfrench]

I think he's very smart and kind complimenting on her energy.

[@timcook4552]

"If he is not into you right now, there is no amount of trying that can change now." This is really good!

[@cfawn311]

I wish I could have my own personal Matthew to just talk sense into me when I start worrying about things!

[@idontknowwhatmyusernamesho7164]

Clare Fawn SAME

[@zaizeleiful]

love ur username ;)

[@centuryfiles9558]

Clare Fawn we need Matt personal robots

[@meralEdwtDawlatly]

I need that at the moment

[@frenchkissme83]

Right? 👍

[@sarahbushey2444]

My husband and I have been married almost 12 years and when I look back, it was when I was working, or taking care of our babies, or trying a new hobby, or going back to school for my degree that I magically became the most attractive to him. When I'm hunched over my chemistry homework, he won't leave me alone! Hussey nailed it.

[@stephanbarnard6898]

Sarah Bushey how did you get over the seven year relationship slump in your marriage?

[@maddynabs8968]

Masha Allah

[@aifujiwara894]

PUT IN MIND: IF HIS NOT INTO YOU RIGHT NOW...NO AMOUNT OF TRYING IS GONNA CHANGE THAT...

[@artsyhyd]

ai fujiwara 👍👍👍 leave the guy alone 😂

[@katiehunt3083]

Act like you don't give a crap....and he'll love you enormously. Act like you care, forget it....he's outta here.

[@poupeebantu9064]

😂😂😂😂😂 You are violent..

[@How.Dare.You.]

bless this guy for saving my love life

[@orth82]

This was one of the best answers I've ever heard. Very insightful and helpful. And that "he likes me but it's his friend I'm interested in" thing is so totally true.

[@poppyorangeflower]

Careful. He'll only like your friend.

[@miechristiansen3237]

I remember watching this video a little while back when I had some problems with the guy I dated. Back then it ended up being me who always called him and was asking him out instead of him also calling and asking me. I could feel him getting more and more distant, almost like he didn't like me anymore and we had a little fight. So I decided to 'change the game' after watching this video and I straight up left him alone by not texting him or calling him, and after two weeks he came back saying how much he missed me, and that he had taking me for granted and he apologized over and over and said he hopefully now could show me how much he likes me. So thank you Matthew for your always great advice!

[@iga2226]

damn_girl. good for You👌

[@RiRi-hk3ev]

Mie Christiansen did u talk to him at all for the two weeks or u totally ignored him?

[@maix139]

Yup make em work for it lol

[@Shadowsong10]

@Sweetie Bellie what worth.Women you are not special

[@quirogatnonerrat3214]

@@RiRi-hk3ev he did not talk back to her till about 2 weeks passed. She didn't ignore him, she just didn't do the first step. He also did not feel her absence till 2 weeks later!

[@Kitty__Lazer]

The woman caller sounds so sweet :)

[@hodayaraki3782]

His words were life changing for me. Never change yourself for no one be yourself always.The right person will love you just the way you're!!Thank you for reminding me❤️

[@jcchen5356]

I used to do think like that: chasing is not sexy. So, the young and naive me used to play this game and missed some good guys. However, now I've seen many success and failure cases from myself and people around me, and opinion changed. I now appreciate people know what they want. I think that is not only hot and full of passion, but indication of them knowing what they want. I've seen long lasting couples (30+ years). The husband and wife still acted like they just met and crazy in love - flowers, cakes, unconditionally supporting each other.... So, I I will say: if you are interested in me, come over! If not, let's look for love somewhere else. I am not attracted to 'cool' guys anymore.

[@patrickbateman1610]

Wow, you clearly did not the get message at all. Talk about being simple minded and viewing things as black and white.

[@jcchen5356]

Patrick Bateman Yep, right. Clearly you have not got my message that I've tried that before and I regretted it. There are many complicated thing in the world already. Look around the world: there are many types of love. I just want the simple way. Simple to the extreme: many of my friends from India didn't even got to know their partner until they engaged. But both parties followed strictly the simple rule: to be nice to the other party, do whatever you can for the good of the family. And they are perfectly happy even when they come to the US. Of course this would not work if only one party is doing that.I've worked/be friends with people from 40+ countries and even more cultures. So even I do not agree with Matt in this message, I just stated my personal experience and not accusing him anything since I know how to respect. It is good to travel around the world.

[@patrickbateman1610]

You seem to have gotten his message totally wrong. He's not talking about not being nice or being nonchalant just for the sake of it.

[@chelseac1010]

"You liking him has nothing to do with caring about whether he likes you." that just changed my life 😅thank you Matthew!

[@CellGames2006]

Matthew's videos are secretly behavioral tips for guys. Listen how he compliments girls on anything positive he senses. That makes them feel better. Okay, some might be fruitcakes to begin with, but there are clues there any one of us can learn. I've learned it pays to give girls small compliments like that. It doesn't always have to be about getting laid. It makes you feel good on the inside.

[@ninjabreadgirl]

So true!

[@oopalonga]

CellGames2006 bro, why da fuq u think im here? ; ) plus, know thy enemy = P

[@Misslotusification]

Goes both ways guys :-)

[@funnyremyfrench]

I think he started off by giving guys advice and coaching on how to date girls, then I guess girls' money is always easier to make... so he switched to giving girls advice.

[@CellGames2006]

Plus he's also a good looking british guy that makes girls swoon. So it's a win-win.

[@valentinaeagle5152]

I agree, just focus on yourself, your life, your happiness without depending on the guy.

[@kheperasekmet5197]

Maybe I need to go golfing brunches or something Not seeing the' dream guy ' Like we say after we graduated college

[@ellssuzanne7224]

He is a genius, and the absolute cutest.

[@bsempasa]

This is affirmation. I was starting to slip again. It's easy when you catch feelings and run away with them and he gets comfortable. Thanks Matthew.

[@akshaypradeep105]

Matthew is great at his job and it's commendable how he is able to make a career out of his passion. I think no one can do what he does unless they have an abiding love and respect for women, like he does. It's great to see a guy who loves women in all ways and forms. That's not something you see often.

[@ameliamotiki1790]

men are so complicated and confusing at the same time

[@jaye3992]

Amelia Motiki so are we

[@malikahe5003]

Totally!!!

[@JosannaMonik]

I don't think that men are more complicated than us women, they are just different. We value love and commitment, while they tend to value value freedom and independence. That is why they tend to be more attracted to independent women who are not too needy.

[@mariaelda6271]

The one who is actually right for me will want me as much as I want him. Ahhhh...how truthfully basic yet often overlooked.

[@themilkaint4free]

"He sees a different version of you." instead of the comfortable real you! Wow, great feedback!

[@evaistheway]

You got to fill the space with your own passions and motives instead of what connects you two together. There's nothing sexier than a person who doesn't care how you feel about them. I like you, I do my own thing but you liking me back doesn't change anything.

[@jengildz9104]

Well yeah...of course. But what if you, are 44 ..and.....damn.......if u meet someone u think is special....u want to be around them.

[@lovemecom3832]

It's true that in order to move on and live life the way you want is to focus on yourself, improve yourself, your life and continue the things you want to do. Thank you so much matthew for giving us inspirational advice.

[@Garland67]

If he pulls away this soon, it means he's losing interest. Simple as that. These tow could slow down and date more casually. He might have met someone else he likes more.

[@vamanosninja4143]

Julia Hrivnak The last part I think.

[@medycc1970]

i think so... you are right

[@karolka144]

Matthew really liked Sarah. The way he smiles at the end gives it all away 😊

[@sansm6297]

Yes, I thought so too

[@dylanbuchman8128]

There's one thing you said here that kind of stands out as like a single, very simple thing you can remember that I feel is infinitely valuable--you liking him has nothing to do with you caring whether or not he likes you. Favorite moment in this video.

[@foxfur8327]

True for both sexes. Most like to feel they have won their own prize if they like someone, but if chased they feel their partner has captured them and most hate that entrapped feeling. There's nothing more repulsive, and often even dangerous, than a clinging stalker who won't allow a partner some freedom and hounds them constantly about wherebouts, etc. Also, unless a man really cares about a woman, he would more likely rather be out with his buddies than listen to senseless female chit chat. Most guys hate small talk from women they aren't interested in but may tolerate it if they think the woman will put out sexually. Secretly they actually resent easy women, knowing that easy women are likely diseased from spreading their legs for every other man as well. Don't forget that most people on the world have herpes and most won't know about it until their immune system drops. By then they may assume they got it from the last partner they had sex with when they could have developed it years before and actually spread it themselves to others.

[@gail_7192]

I really like the way you give advice without making people feel bad. Good honesty with respect!Thanks Mathew

[@mnsyh999]

can we just be our self? tired of chasing people, bye

[@anonymousperson1327]

Please be yourself. That's exactly the point Matt is making here!

[@suzan-x3i]

He litearlly said focus on yourself 💀

[@suzan-x3i]

@wackaxx peepoh matt didn't say "act", for a guy who pulls away, he said it'd be better if you really dont care if he likes u or not cause you'll be focusing on yourself.

[@amaliaamalia8687]

Is it really being yourself if you’re being yourself with an ulterior motive?

[@riseabove5060]

LMAO

[@mrinalgadhade9304]

You know Matt, you should start coaching for guys too now

[@wanitaw132]

Agree

[@ivanvlasic988]

@@wanitaw132 no he shouldn't, maybe for the gays his simping words might work

[@selekumomaciver4602]

True

[@noramuldowney1286]

Absolutely

[@joolspools777]

@@ivanvlasic988 Yes, maybe he'd have to make some changes and I think he is intelligent enough to realise that. Do you think he could do it?

[@angelika1696]

How can you answer every question so quickly and so right and deep?!) I mean you are just above smart

[@jamespatrick5750]

Contact him on whatsaap...

[@jamespatrick5750]

[phone]

[@whatwhatwhatwhat3953]

There's a common misconception amongst most men about building a solid foundation for a relationship with his woman. He thinks that if he does something impressive, and the woman compliments him, the woman instantly falls inlove. Probably because most women are very expressive, sometimes they express things that they don't mean. The strongest foundation that you can build with your partner is acceptance. That even if you don't impress me, please me with efforts, buy me gifts and kneel infront of me. If he sees that you accept him for he is himself, and he finds comfort being with you without being conscious that he's gonna say something wrong, then he will stay committed to you. I know that I'm kinda stereotyping, but I just think that relationships don't last because people can't show their true self at the beginning with the consciousness of turning off the person they like. At the end of the day, you will reveal your true self with your partner. Acceptance is key.

[@chizee3945]

Cohn Jena So we are to accept their BS right?

[@pollypockets508]

chizee 3 That's not what he said at all.

[@chizee3945]

Polly Pockets So what exactly is he saying. I have a boyfriend (and I'm using that term loosely now) who says he'll call me but then doesn't. And then carries on the next minute like nothing happened. I am to accept this and be labelled a door mat right?

[@xLegendaryPictures]

@@chizee3945 Yes, because you let him carry on the next minute like nothing happened. There is no way my gf gets away with treating me badly. Ill bring it up until we have discussed it. It doesnt happen often, and our relationship is the most wonderful I could ever imagine, but people hurt people. Not necessarily because they want to hurt them, but because they are not good at vocalizing things, or many other reasons. All I can tell you is to talk about it. Dont let him get away with treating you badly, because then you are inviting him to treat you badly again. Also give them the feeling of being accepted. Its absurd, but the times I feel amongst the most attraction to my gf is when she farts. I love it, because she invites me to treat her well and be accepting, which I am. That goes for everything that might be unacceptable in society, or might be something someone is ashamed of.

[@kimgordon3695]

Well said 💝

[@padegra]

I've seen this video so many times. It's important to remember that it's not only about him liking you but also about you liking him and not giving up on your priorities for a guy you just met. If he wants to be a priority he will make sure he becomes one. Thanks Matt :)

[@alexandrastratanphotographer]

i appreciate your transparency and depth

[@CoriTripCPetersen]

Well put.

[@ChuangSarah]

"You liking him has nothing to do with you caring about whether he likes you" I need a moment with this 😳

[@Daemonenkoenigin13]

And women are complicated? I just want a guy who likes me back as much as I like him, I dont want to play this "look how busy I am ain't that sexy?" game. Thats really frustrating

[@elenaruth9682]

100% agree. It's so frustrating, especially when he is better at that game himself.

[@ThePsychicFish]

If show all your cards too soon some guys lose interest. On to the next one if you ask me...

[@davidw2433]

And immature

[@nanalightbright]

Daemonenkoenigin13 girl 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@andredshn]

Agreed

[@katharinameyer604]

My heart melted right in the beginning, the way you answered the call and her energy… heartwarming

[@adrianekay1]

It's really annoying how right Matt is about everything.

[@iulioana]

the existence of all these great videos demonstrates how difficult is to deal with men

[@hahahamaxine]

this is really good advice fuck me

[@Vixentopnotes]

😂😂😂😂 I know right!

[@Jesusmyheroe]

maxine lol me too!!

[@kimnapped3091]

I love the way you built this woman up. She absolutely has a positive energy and I hope she can see how likable she is! Great advice, once again

[@rosealexandria]

I like how he acknowledged her delightful energy. 10% of life is what happens, 90% is how we react. Can’t let guys dim your light. Gotta keep shining so Mr.Right can see you

[@miliaparicio6451]

I agree 100 and infinity percent. God wants us to love ourselves more than anyone else. To respect each and every aspect of our uniqueness. We are all important and we're all part of this extraordinary living experience. 😊

[@Spongebob12xc]

Love this one! The woman who called in just sounded like wifey material, she's so warm and sweet over the phone. And loved matts advice to her!

[@jaderhodes3002]

I've been feeling this same way with a guy right now. This helped so so much

[@TheCallmom]

This episode spoke too me so much. The ugly friends fallin for you cuz ur being urself around them and the personality being stifled when around women u actually like.

[@galexynotprovided9945]

I loved this segment. And the reason is that Matt inspired me to think of something on my own. I kept thinking Matt was going to say that she was worrying so much about if he liked her, that she wasn't paying attention to his qualities, or lack there of and therefore, if she liked him. I also remember a video Matt did a long time ago. He said when we get to like someone, we now are concerned that they validate us. Where as before that wasn't the case.

[@TheELSABABY]

This one hit home, hard. I used to do this all the time, trying to fit myself to what the guy wanted me to be, instead of just being myself. And it's true, when I wasn't into someone they would like me more than the guys I really wanted, because I was myself around the guys I didn't want to date. This is why I have been celibate for 5 years, and hope that this time around, when I get out there again, I can be myself. Get out of my own head, stop analyzing every little thing a guy says or does, because if he doesn't like the real me there's NO WAY he can be the guy for me.

[@edmonianashMA2025]

thank you so much! I really needed that because I know I guy who likes me but he sometimes ignores me and makes me feel like I have to try harder for his attention, but in doing that sometimes it pulls guys away. I just gotta keep doing me and focus on me and not caring what he thinks but still like him in the process.

[@drshehnazparveez3069]

Why are guys so complicated that we have to just keep dealing with them??? Is it them?? When we are loyal they start acting all shitty....and when we act like we don't care they play so perfect like the dream guy.....God dammit! Where are the good guys? Where have they gone? Why can't we all just have good guys around? Idk I've been watching Matthew husseys videos and reading his posts and I've grown up a lot I think on choosing a good guy....but still it's rare to find a good guy "and keeping him" when u really wanna get serious.....everyone comes with bruises and we all have our own from past relationships and somehow it just ends up this way......I let the guys find me and then I end up attracting the wrong guys again! Is it me? Is there something wrong with me or is it the guys? And why do I have to try to be someone else with time why can't he just love me just the way I am????? Idk why it's so hard.....I'm done applying all these tricks and ways seriously! It just feels like ....

[@latanyaharris116]

[@luisjaviergu]

Hazel everything you said also applies from the guy's point of view towards women. It's not a women vs men thing, it's just how attraction works. You can either join the club of the people who are too proud or lazy to learn how to flirt, or you can take control of your love life by learning how human psychology works. You don't HAVE to do it. But then don't be surprised if you can't attract the men you want. Also, this is not "changing who you are". It's just learning the right behaviors that cause attraction. Your essence stays the same. If you think men aren't also watching videos on how to become more attractive then you are mistaken.

[@jackbravo2172]

You don't want the good guy cause he would turn you off, you're more into the distant and avoidant types of men most likely.

[@cindyalfaro7409]

Hazel Love If you keep attracting the wrong guys is because your fears are showing and that's what calls them out. The guys you attract are a reflection of who you are. You have to deal with your fears from childhood and traumas from past relationships, if you want to attract the right man. Heal yourself and love yourself first, find your peace of mind and you'll find the right man. Blessings!

[@mishellcornell2160]

Cindy Alfaro hi Cindy. totally right

[@rosettekarungi139]

Wow you have actually saved me a tonne of emotional energy worrying about a certain guy that I like. I have been freed literally

[@hwang7371]

Everything I need to hear now!! I just pushed him away by being too eager. Life is such a long journey, you're right, we should zoom out and focus on ourselves.

[@jvstkiki]

I remember watching this video when I was single thinking I’m be better than this lady and now I’m in the same boat as her. I swear Matt’s videos is Relevant today as it was in the passed too. Love it! 👌👌

[@laurabethvillarreal6345]

Matt has helped me more than any other marriage therapist! I'm a follower of the Bible so I save certain things for marriage, but I have found his advice on relationships to be VERY accurate and helpful, even for people like me! So, thanks Matt!

[@avinolanakazwe6170]

Same!

[@artistevivien]

The part where he said to keep being her energetic self really resonated with me. I’m usually bubbly but recently because of a guy I’ve been sort of chasing, I’ve become morose and dejected without realizing it. I need to go with the other guy who makes me feel like I’m perfect the way I am… it’s just so difficult because I like the first guy way better hah

[@1stevecy]

I love this video. I watch it a lot because I'm a people pleaser, and I'm trying to kick that mentality. The advice is applicable to so many different aspects of social anxiety and worrying about someone liking you or not. I've been practicing not caring whether people like me or not and watching this reminds me of why I need to keep doing that.

[@TarotbyTanyaa]

I love u Matt.. you just sort my life in 8 mins

[@samurilip]

it doesnt push me away when a girl trys to hard. its a compliment! wish more women were like that

[@ashsqx3246]

SoWhoaWolf any girl who pursues a guy is humiliated and stigmatised for being a psycho desperate clingy possessive stalker which is even worse than being branded as a sl*t

[@samurilip]

well i welcome psychos in my life as long as the attraction is mutual, so thats in your head. not in mine. however if a woman is slutty? (not a easy thing to realize). i would more than likely steer clear of her. then again i havent had sex in 13 months so i might go for it.

[@Catglittercrafts]

I wish more guys would appreciate it.

[@foxfur8327]

@@samurilip , if the attraction is mutual you may be psycho yourself.

[@foxfur8327]

@@Catglittercrafts , a popular guy will likely not appreciate it because he is used to being chased and wants to do his own chasing and feel he has picked out his own prize, but a less popular one might appreciate it because he may be desperate for sex.

[@Irene-bu9wu]

This man energy is fantastic, he's strong, sweet and caring. Besides all of that he's incredibly gorgeous

[@dellibby5447]

This is always the case! The one guy you want, you with draw and become too self conscious of yourself. Then with the person you're just thinking about them as a "friend" you're more yourself. There's a nervousness with the guy you really want to be with. How do you get over that!!!!!?????

[@mcdreamy5975]

What can I say... i guess coming here to fix all my sentimental issues made things like more complexe ! I guess i fell in love with Mat.. I think I need him to get to understand me and know me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He's soooooo amazing !

[@joginalopez7322]

Every problem have a solution, Life is all about happiness Let's me recommend you to someone who helped me manifest my desire without delay he's a genius..

[@joginalopez7322]

Text on whatapp for directives.

[@joginalopez7322]

+ 1 9 1 6 8 0 0 2 7 4 1💖

[@laurenthalia3319]

Guys are weird in general playing it cool by texting once or twice? That ain't no relationship. It's a connection. You can give and give but he will loose interest because guys don't give a shit.

[@subiyaamreen3023]

"I like this person and I don't give a crap if he likes me or not ,I like him regardless" I needed to hear this

[@mariegrant8425]

This puts a lot of things into perspective with guys I deal with: there's the "hey we've had two great convos and now i'm catching feeling this is scary and too soon so let me pull away for a while", the " Guy that is too eager to flirt and you have a thing for their friend", " the I'm attracted to her but I'm not ready for a relationship in my life right now so let's just see where it goes and maybe it will develop later " the " I really really like her but I dont want to tell her so ill just get my friend to do it. opps now its too late I have a gf" the " classic college hookup" etc.

[@WetNosesHappyTails]

I needed this rn. I've been talking to this guy and we do like each other. I'm always there for him and I feel like it's too much. I crave for his attention, so every time he needs me I'm there. I needed to hear this because I should know my worth and value my time. If he really likes me, he'll be there.

[@CoriTripCPetersen]

So glad I've come back to this video Matt. While the concept of not trying TOO hard is easy, actually understanding nuance or application is is not so easy. The REAL breakthrough moment in this video is realizing the fact that your desire for a person does not commit you to have get approval. The mere idea that their attention to me is disconnected from my level of caring for them is novel. Just because I like someone does not mean that I have to really care so much about if they like me or not! It seems obvious almost but it absolutely is not obvious. Upon analysing the idea, again it is almost simplistic but not until you do look deeper. If you you've never delved into the area let alone the specifics, you'll likely not have the opportunity to realize this simple truth. I like you, however that has no real relation to you liking me unless I make it so. Us "making it so," appears to be our default position on the matter so that is why this is not self evident without analysis. Thank you Matt for being a coach for the most difficult landscape we can negotiate, personal relationships.

[@fatimaalkooheji5078]

The ability to like someone and never minding if they liked you back or not ✨

[@TheWanderingAesthete]

As I guy I think there is a fine line between having better things to do and seeming disinterested. If a girl is not interested in me I will just move on. From the advice given it's possible to give the impression of disinterest. Not every guy is willing to chase the carrot forever.

[@caramelspice7244]

And that's what makes the "game" so frustrating...I just don't understand why people can't be honest. Either you like a person or you don't . Let them know either way. Chasing, being chased just wastes time that you could be using to actually enjoy a person.

[@milabellaful]

I totally agree. Life is too short.

[@rstars6854]

Yeah this is so true!

[@Diva2K11]

And I would add ....that by living the life you love and being passionate about the things that betters and grows you... not only is it attractive but your self worth and happiness wouldn’t be predicated on him or what he’s feeling. I mean more so, your happiness doesn’t revolve around him. And when you think of it-that’s a lot of pressure for anyone to feel like your happiness is centered around them. It creates unrealistic expectations and disappointment. To add to my earlier note... being around someone who lives their life with genuine passion is contagious! Others love that energy. And by doing this, he’s falling in love with your authentic self and not a version of what you think he wants you to be. I’m a church girl too 🙌🏽 praise the Lord!!

[@shavindikarunarathna8534]

I really love watching his videos. Because for me I started appling those techniques for most of my relationships whether it's my family , friends or neighbors .. and it helped be in boosting up my confidence and respect . Due to these videos I started to realize my own worth .. I frequently watch them just to get a better understanding of how to successfully cope in life as a woman. I'm truly grateful for it.

[@vishuyadav9635]

thank u so much Matthew, it's really helpful for me ! was very disappointed because of my husband who never shows his love to me and I love him very much but he don't really care about me, after watching you on KZbin oh my god.. this is really really helpful and I'm feeling the peace and now I don't care! he have to get back to me thank you so much for the healthy knowledge of life,.. you are so very wonderful person ever see! love you

[@aishwaryasharma2448]

dude ur awsome! im so in love with ur wisdom n also accent.😘😘😘😘

[@manishalama3556]

Excellent Video! Forgive me for chiming in, I am interested in your opinion. Have you thought about - Saankramer bringing Ex System (just google it)? It is a great exclusive guide for Learning how to get back your ex minus the hard work. Ive heard some pretty good things about it and my good mate called Gray got excellent results with it.

[@reenam2614]

You have such a amazing way of solving problems 👏👏👌

[@texassage5629]

Dear I will introduce you to the same Spiritualist who restored my broken relationship, he can bring your ex back just fine he's good.;

[@texassage5629]

What'sapp him;;;

[@radicalhonesty3628]

watching this video, and thinking out loud. trying to process. can't understand. I'm 42 and have never ever been in a relationship... but why? I'm trying to untangle the mess that's in my mind: 1 - what do good looks have to do with relationships? 2 - why have I never been in a relationship? (what about me?) 3 - most men would want a "hot" girl... 4 - most men talk about girls in these terms: hot or not etc. 5 - family always telling me to dress up, do hair, wear make up etc. 6 - but they are all around me, everywhere, it's all I see: dreadfully ugly/unattractive people in terrific relationships... 7 - but what about old people? they're just old. they don't GIVE A FUCK about looks. 8 - then why can't I attract a man? 9 - men don't see me; it's like I don't exist: I'm just a fat frumpty-dumpty sexless old person in their eyes! 10 - I could make a list that could fill a billion books of ugly unattractive people in sexual romantic relationships... 11 - my cousin, for example: old fat ugly (as fuck!) and married.

[@helenarichard]

Whether you have better things to do or not, keeping busy is so important to not feel anxious whether someone likes you or not. You aren't supposed to feel like that, it eats your adrenals.

[@teresasierchio9849]

what happened to just being yourself,,I mean that's what it narrows down to in reality,,matt seems like a sweet man,,but I never ever would have wanted to think about that much on what a guy wants to hear outta my mouth,,just speak the truth,it works,,be who you are

[@AstroBaby91]

Why the double commas wtf

[@nickykjdesigns]

OK, so I know I have always been told I think like a guy. I never believed it really but, listening to Matthew makes me realise that I do or should I say men and women actually do think the same way. All the same insecurities and fears. Thank you Matthew for opening my mind 🤗

[@JoanieTiVi]

Thanks for telling me what to do. I'm going to a party tonight for the birthay of my friend and there is a guy that i think is really hot but he kinda disrespect me and he is gonna be there tonight... So you know what i'm gonna do right BETTER THINGS then caring about him

[@grapiken7766]

Will you post a comment about how things went? I hope everything went well for you.

[@JoanieTiVi]

He ended up having a girlfriend so I just forgot him but i saw his last weekend at the bar just asked him hey are you still with your girlfriend then he said yes so i said ok smiled and continue in the direction i was going hahahaha

[@grapiken7766]

JoanieTiVi oh my god. Why is life so complicated! :-( sorry that happened.

[@npnpnp858]

Please, in the future, don't like guys who disrespect you. Better that way!!

[@CellGames2006]

Respect has notjign to do with it. That's the reason he likes him. Push and pull. Guys who are confident and masculine always attract women. That's why he has a girlfriend. And that only makes Joanie want him more. You know she'll end up with him if he breaks up because girls will take disrepect any time over being lonely... guys won't.

[@leticiaviera1151]

Be open, honest and affectionate, be fun and enjoy life, live it to the fullest every day because that's what we came here to do! And you won't have to worry about this dude or that dude cause your light and spirit will attract someone as great as you. Take care and be kind and loving to yourself first and then that will positively affect all your other relationships.

[@erikafigueroa5128]

Love this! On both ends it shouldn't be difficult to see one another. However, if they both have their interests and responsibilities there's nothing wrong with saying hey I have responsibilities, let's coordinate like she did. I also agree with him, neither should make their entire world around the other person. Which is where she was headed. Obsessing about the situation, the guy, analyzing it to death, and not doing what makes her happy. Like any relationship, if you're starting a friendship and that person stops texting and calling, I'll follow up. but if I didn't do anything wrong or expects me to run after them or always communicate then it's one sided. And yes there are individuals who do this in friendships.

[@mariatriciapalacio4431]

Matthew, you helped me bring back the CONFIDENCE that i have as a WOMAN. you helped me feel that buried feeling that i have of being ABLE to CONQUER the world with my CONFIDENCE and SELF ESTEEM. Thank you!!

[@cjgem80]

Wow, you really hit the nail on the head! Love how you are articulate and to the point. You definitely give off a genuine, easygoing vibe that does not come across as easily for most. Thank you so much for the advice!

[@anniebananie416]

Good answer. Can so relate that i could never be be myself with guys i liked but totally myself with men i wasn’t attracted to.

[@Kindri9]

I love listening to you. Even though I've been with my husband for a looooong time, all of your advice is so great! A lot of it translates to existing relationships and things that people do in committed relationships that may turn each other off or hurt each other or just not be great to keep things going. So thank you.

[@Jmhfl7]

It's OK to like someone even though they don't like you? WOW! That's powerful Matthew. That's not only an AMAZING to be and think, it's humble and real. You are EXTREMELY SMART

[@TheInevitableSloth]

lol my name is sarah and i had this exact question

[@ssoomee]

same here! Sarahs with questions!

[@coachdrew82]

ssoo mee TheInevitableSloth Sarahs rock.

[@awake8256]

You're so good, Matt. I tell all my friends about you, and we've all moved to better and better relationships with guys and each other.

[@evepagan5727]

Thank Jesus for giving you a gift to know how to advice people on what really matters when it comes to relationships!! Never lose who you are trying to convince a man or women to like you!

[@mahimarosevalentina3095]

He is Gerard Butler from The Ugly Truth!!!! :D

[@Ktvanada]

Today I am very playfull, and saying a lot of crazy stuff and I know that this is a part of me, I teased him a little bit more than usually I know he has a busy and a very challenging week. So I cheered him up yesterday and he was like well you should become a motivation coach ! And I was like in my mind « the advice I am giving him is what I need to follow » and I decided that the two next week were a chance for me to change into a better and more responsible person to deal with my financial and behavioural issues... I realized quite a lot this night and I realized that all the relationship or date I had was a diversion to hide myself into for not caring about my real problems. And if he is still there after I set up myself even if he is not my priority anymore, that I would send a message or talk to him when I can when I would feel good and not faking a perfect side of me. So I will treat him as a regular person and not overthink because I have others things to do. Set your life first before being there for others ! Don't forget yourself

[@priscanemger783]

Matthew is just so awesome, the perfect man. 💃

[@susantoft2119]

Prisca Nemger v