I did all of these things and am currently being ghosted 😂 Someone either loves you or they don’t. Don’t waste your time on people who can’t see what a gem you are. Be a high value individual and love yourself.
@estefaniavillalta2252 Жыл бұрын
I totally get you! That just happen to me last week 😞. That sucks
@gemstar7286 Жыл бұрын
The ghosting and mind games are pathetic 😑🙄. You would think as we get older that the childish behaviour would stop 🤦♀️.
@seanshewman4127 Жыл бұрын
Nope I can say as a man it’s happened at least 5 times to me in the last few years. It’s annoying that we hide behind screens and can’t tell people the truth.
@popovka Жыл бұрын
At least you know you did "the right thing" And can get a quicker view that your energy seems to be wasted on that person. Important knowledge, no?
@Sunflower-uh3em Жыл бұрын
Did that too, in the talk stage, been sweet, supportive, kind, playfully assumptive but being ghosted now 😪😪.
@gracecoxR11 күн бұрын
I recently went through a tough breakup. My 5-year relationship ended a month ago, and it's been really hard for me. I still love my ex-girlfriend so much and can't stop thinking about her. I've tried everything to win her back, but nothing has worked. It's frustrating, and I can't imagine being with anyone else. I've been trying to move on, but I can't seem to get her out of my mind. I know it might sound strange to share this here, but I miss her a lot and just can't stop thinking about her.
@BenjaminJones-re8re11 күн бұрын
I understand the pain of letting go of someone you love. I went through a similar situation when my 12-year relationship ended. I couldn't just let her go, so I did everything I could to win her back. I sought the help of a spiritual counselor, and their guidance ultimately helped me to bring her back into my life.
@gracecoxR11 күн бұрын
Amazing! How did you find a spiritual counselor, and how can I contact them?"
@BenjaminJones-re8re11 күн бұрын
His name is Fatherabulu, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can help restore your relationship with your ex.
@gracecoxR11 күн бұрын
Thanks for sharing this valuable information. I just looked him up online and I'm impressed.
@sophieswelt42022 жыл бұрын
Fact is: Either he loves and wants you, or he doesn't. There is NOTHING you have to do to "make him love you" or "make him want you". What you CAN do is focussing on your love for yourself and your life. But don't think you can ever "make someone love you". Love is a gift and nothing you have to achieve
@rheakurokawa2 жыл бұрын
Yes. I believe the same. But what i think that doing all of this does is actually weeding the people who are not interested. And you also get to know the person for what they are, not what you want them to be, or what you project them to be
@s.p.baughman78852 жыл бұрын
Well said ..he either loves you or does not love you ,and will show his true colors in the end..
@rheakurokawa2 жыл бұрын
@@swtmerc exactly
@jennycyl35952 жыл бұрын
Well said!
@sarahgh94952 жыл бұрын
@@s.p.baughman7885 I just see those tips as a way to see those colors "faster"
@RealTalk-mq2ug Жыл бұрын
ladies, gents, always forever, remember this: if you treat someone as if they're a star, they'll treat you as if you're a fan...
@maryhawker5003Ай бұрын
So so true, I wrote that down to remember it.
@elizabethwood2699 Жыл бұрын
#13 A man gave me so many flowers in the 1st two weeks of our relationship that my looked like a forest. Then he wanted me to go away with him for the weekend. I told him thank you but it was too soon for me & I needed us to learn more about each other. He became extremely angry and said, "But I bought you flowers!" I replied (very nicely), "i'm sorry, I loved the flowers but thought they were a gift, not a payment. Neededless to say, we did not continue dating.
@Poison_Orchid Жыл бұрын
That was a kind of abuser I think. They are often do things just to buy someone's good attitude and then to get their "cashback". Thats ugly ( Hope you'll meet another guy who will do good things just for you, not for his ego.
@teascobie6557 Жыл бұрын
Classic. Beware of people's behaviour when you tell them "no".
@susanblack914 ай бұрын
Good for you!!
@camillabartlett91283 ай бұрын
Always gave boundaries
@stephaniezaragoza98762 ай бұрын
He was lovebombing you.
@dianethompson6804 Жыл бұрын
My Mother told me that you can tell if a man likes you cause he gives you little gifts. Not expensive gifts, but little things that he thinks would please you. Even something like a donut from the corner coffee shop. When I was married the only gift my husband ever gave me that he picked out himself was a bag of green apples! He was at work in the country and saw an apple tree in the ditch. He knew that I loved green apples, so he picked me some. I was truly thrilled and he was beaming with pride!!
@JaylaPLuna2 жыл бұрын
When you realized you have done all these things, in a non cringe way, and folks still ran or left me on read… sometimes it’s just the pool you are in and not you…luckily I won’t have to change much about who I am and I can just chill till someone who actually wants a relationship with me, comes along. Till then, enjoying life.
@Coolgirl-yasmin2 жыл бұрын
You sound smart by heart. Enjoy! I hope you find love.
@akanksha99582 жыл бұрын
Love how instead of being bitter about it, you chose to be more positive in this situation
@JaylaPLuna2 жыл бұрын
@@akanksha9958 for sure. Being bitter isn’t gonna solve anything and from what I am hearing it wasn’t me sooo lol. I’m good
@dee2022uk2 жыл бұрын
Im in the situation of doing the things, but when a person doesnt want to commit for whatver reason then there is nothing you can do, we need to focus on other things in our lives and not put everything into it - then if it doesnt work out we will have enough in our lives
@shrinidhipatil3352 жыл бұрын
we are on the same page
@sangeetakalsi48192 жыл бұрын
As a woman who only yesterday admitted to my boyfriend (who's loved me for the longest time now) I love him - I did all of this without actually seeing this video when I met my guy except 13 and know that this IS IT. My beau and I easily took each other seriously because I've always had a natural standard I expect from someone I'd be long-term with and he, with so much grace, is perfect at upholding those standards. He asked if I'd like to meet in my city (he lived on the other side of the country), he asked to meet again and I offered to come near to his side next, I brought him something as a gesture on our trip away, and the rest is history. Today we live together in a home we created together and share a beautiful life. For many years I was the girl who would cry looking up at the skies, wondering where the one is, and he is everything and more than I could ask for. Please know to wait for the right person, they'll make employing all of this so easy and actively want to be in your life. I guess I'm only writing this to give hope and to take my love up because he's perhaps the best thing that has ever happened to me.
@poupouillemononoke66192 жыл бұрын
Thank you 🙏🏼🥰
@jscorpio19872 жыл бұрын
Now that I read this, I’m so glad I broke up with the narcissist I was with. He was only keeping me from finding someone who would actually love me the way I deserve.
@sangeetakalsi48192 жыл бұрын
@@jscorpio1987 I'm glad you did! It's also important to be kind to yourself when you leave a relationship like that. Today, this man brings me flowers weekly, massages my back when I'm stressed, and made me a little art studio to pursue my passion. It's possible, and it's out there. It needs patience. And until then one needs good humor and faith to walk away when one doesn't see that love or respect in another person.
@itsshanisworld2 жыл бұрын
Thank you soo much for sharing this. It definitely gives me hope. I've found myself crying lately because I've begun loosing faith it will ever happend for. E. But this video and this comment means the world to me. Thank you. ❤️ And God bless
@vickiberens19252 жыл бұрын
This is Lovely Thankyou for the reminder true love is worth the patience 💕
@ryushizu172 жыл бұрын
1:09 1) Be more than a last-minute plan 1:46 2) Don't just go with their flow 2:45 3) Suggest a date plan 3:36 4) Send a post date text 5:15 5) Show genuine appreciation for something they did 6:04 6) Have them come to your part of town 8:09 7) Pay for something 8:50 8) Send them a picture from a different part of your life 9:54 9) Send them an 'I was listening' text 10:46 10) Save them a cookie 11:33 11) Be playfully assumptive 12:21 12) Avoid agreeing with them all the time 14:19 13) Beware the weekend away
@thaobenn63392 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much, Wensu. 👏👏👏👏👏👍👍👍👍👍
@jemimawanjiru222 жыл бұрын
Thank you ☺
@iolemaffei2 жыл бұрын
Thank you
@MaraStaaru2 жыл бұрын
We need more heros like you in the comments
@kathy84422 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for taking the time to create the time lapse.🙂
@maddyG74142 жыл бұрын
I was single for years. I went through a desperate phase early on where I had recently had my heart broken and it made me feel so empty because I didn’t have a foundation of core self esteem. I think a large part of the shift was just getting older, but it was also me letting go of my strong need to be validated by others. Pursuing goals, traveling, being nice to myself in a multifaceted way seriously changed the game. I met a guy last fall and I went in completely unattached to the outcome, just being myself, which meant I was warm and happy to be there but I wasn’t worried about what he’d think of me. It took me awhile to want to date this man because I didn’t want to rush anything, but he was into me from the start. We’re now together and he’s wonderful!
@ImranKhan-tj3dr Жыл бұрын
Ooh so sorry Same in here I m very sad 💔heart💔 I m triad to live alone alone also come in my life heartbreak woman I m S eriousely very very S eriousely search true love 💝love ❤❤love 💞💞love 💕💕 real good seriouse loveing 💑relationship 💑 I like u really I need u I love u so so much real and true You and me far 👧👧👧👧😍😍😍😍💍💍💍💍🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🙋
@ShayleeOfficial2 жыл бұрын
I did all of these things, and he still told me he didn’t want to commit to anyone. Four weeks later, he has a girlfriend (he didn’t tell me until I came over to his house). Atleast I know I’m on the right path for the RIGHT guy, after watching this! One day someone will appreciate and love me but until then I’m gonna appreciate and love myself more. 🥰 Thank you for your videos
@CrystalDatingCoach2 жыл бұрын
You did ALL these things...but what did HE do?? Make sure you getting what your giving!
@shrinidhipatil3352 жыл бұрын
we are on the same page
@vina942 жыл бұрын
He was just not meant for you, you’ll have BETTER 😊
@ShadowbannedAccount2 жыл бұрын
No man with self-respect wants an obese woman. That's the kind of brutal honesty that Matthew Hussey will never tell you.
@ImranKhan-tj3dr Жыл бұрын
Hi ❤❤❤❤😍
@mundea2 жыл бұрын
i like how Matthew's content can apply to both men and women, even 17 year old boys like me can draw nuggets of knowledge and gems from this smooth operator
@Coolgirl-yasmin2 жыл бұрын
Yes it does. Knowledge is power
@mundea2 жыл бұрын
@@Coolgirl-yasmin indeed, we can find great knowledge and things of value from all sources bro!
@kimgordon36952 жыл бұрын
😂😂👆
@trueasianmensch2 жыл бұрын
I found that really interesting and true as well, since most of these dating/relationship advice channels tend to focus only on one gender and how to have success with the other gender. While this channel has solid universal advice that can be applied in a general sense and situation then by applying your own masculine energy or for the ladies, their feminine energy with the advice in the videos.
@mundea2 жыл бұрын
@@trueasianmensch You have it spot on here, beautiful take
@sunshine-adriana2566 Жыл бұрын
You just need to be yourself, have integrity, honesty, healthy boundaries and make the effort to meet someone at least in the middle. The right person will fall in love with you and commit to you.
@bluphx4862 Жыл бұрын
This was wonderful! I was dating a man and he expected me to fully integrate into his life without coming into mine. When I finally asked for something he said we needed to slow down. We stopped. He didn't have the capacity to give back and that just isn't an aspect of a healthy relationship. I was happy that he showed this part of himself early in the relationship and that it ended quickly. I'm now dating a gentleman that I have done almost all of these with and it is only bringing us closer. It is easy to be together, we have fun yet can have very deep and serious discussions. Congratulations Matthew on your engagement, so happy for you both!
@BrettWoodPiano Жыл бұрын
As a man, can confirm this is killer advice. As long as there is some attraction, doing these things will put you ahead of the pack. Showing interest is hot
@katej23 Жыл бұрын
I showed him interest, he showed me interest, we were friends for about a year before interest started. Confirmed the interest, we slept together twice, he acted all lovey dovey in person, so I asked him out, we went on a date and then he ended it afterwards. Said we could still be friends but he didn’t have romantic feelings. I don’t know what went wrong!
@BrettWoodPiano Жыл бұрын
@@katej23 i don't really understand that either. Maybe he was not that attracted in the first place but got horny...idk sounds fuckin weird. Dick move on his part, I'm really sorry that happened to you
@karadiberlino Жыл бұрын
😂😂😂
@paurodriguez8662 Жыл бұрын
@@katej23 bruhh🥺
@sashatoledo1874 Жыл бұрын
@@katej23 Nothing went wrong, seems like he just wanted to sleep with you which is really shitty considering he was your friend first. You deserve better!
@floresdelcampo992 жыл бұрын
Your advice on letting the guy see who you are in different settings, in a family context, work, personal interests, circle of friends, etc, and also to invite him into your life, house, family, etc (as it is timely appropriate) is key!!! That has been my mistake is the past. Even in a very long term relationship, I was always adapting to their life. And our relationship didn't survive and ended in a way that made me feel he just got rid of me the same way a person can get rid of a picture and toss it in the garbage and hang a new picture on the wall. It's like I was two dimensional for him; mostly a receptacle of all his projections. I know, it's sad. But I've learned a lot about my mistake.
@Brandi.Nicole Жыл бұрын
Omg this is me - damn. I’m always uprooted and just exist. Such crap. 3 Dimensional 🥰
@auroreaurore5556 Жыл бұрын
Same, I was just this pretty emotional trash can and sexual punching bag that wasn't allowed to have an opinion. It is much better now that I am dating someone who had to fulfill the many things that Matthew mentions.
@hilo59018 ай бұрын
@@auroreaurore5556good for you! 👏
@catche85 Жыл бұрын
#13 was really important. Not just about the weekend away, but about being upfront that certain actions/behaviours have meaning to you. I have been out of the dating game for 3 years now and part of that was because I consistently found that things I thought would be generally meaningful to people, actually weren't. And especially for men, they can do a lot of things that don't have any meaning.
@selfhelpchampion96642 жыл бұрын
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou
@barbarar58692 жыл бұрын
This is incredibly accurate. I will try to remember this more often
@lorellaviola1709 Жыл бұрын
I honestly think men need these tips way more than women..
@wisstigresse48402 ай бұрын
💯💯💯
@xxyz321 Жыл бұрын
A bee is attracted to a flower for the pollen and nectar but the vibrant colors of the flowers also help with the attraction … all he’s saying is don’t be a gray flower 🤷🏾♀️. Great video Matt 😊
@user-ki4nd2vd5c5 ай бұрын
If they love you, you can do no wrong. If they don’t, it’s hard to do any right.
@TheLoudseed2 жыл бұрын
Congratulations on your engagement Matthew! You've been a tough love stranger friend from afar giving me the best advice for so many years. And this is a great video, thank you. 😊
@shairamaysalvador746711 ай бұрын
Thank you, Matthew! You have no idea how much of a positive impact you are having on my dating life. As a single mom, it can be challenging to navigate and assess relationships. However, every time I watch your videos, it serves as a reminder that as women, we should embrace our power and not just constantly give without receiving in return.
@evaramirez795910 ай бұрын
We are 2 more single moms here (me and my friend) navigating the dating apps world 😄 setting our own rules for ourselves and learning along the process. Matthew is our master! Hahah good luck darling the great love will come our way the right way and time. Matthew we love you! ❤
@azuldemendieta60192 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this. I am 30 but after a very long relationship, I have fallen in the casual relationship situation too much. This has been so so helpful for me, I realize the things I was doing wrong.
@justthetruth61972 жыл бұрын
Why do you think you deserve a guy? You dont! Let's start here...Why are 90% of college brainwashed...I mean "educated"...students human females (REAL WOMEN have been extinct for AT LEAST 40 years, young and old)? Why cant all of you females mature mentally, emotionally and spiritually past the age of 5 or 6? You cant help your physical bodies mature and get old and wrinkly by the age of 25, so that matures. But when it comes to any personal effort there is none by an adult human female. So, what is the difference between each human female and another mammalian female animal like a cat or a dog. Ok, well I guess you can talk. Mostly not saying anything that ever would really matter. But I would be amazed if my dog started complaining about how he just had to sit around all day and had nothing to do amd was bored so he went and slept with the dog next door. That would be pretty cool. The animal being able to put two words together part. Not your sexual adventures...I mean not my dogs sexual adventures. You each are so easily manipulated on a grand scale...it's hilarious. Thanks for showing us what happens when you adult females run the world...Since over 85% of Bidens cabinet talking heads anyway are adult females. The greatest civilization is destroyed because of your female leadership. And you do it in record time. Amazing. What skill and talent you posess.. Us men are in awe.. You "women" have been destroying civilizations, and what men have built, slowly while you have been slowly removed from the kitchen. Thanks for all your destruction you have done, are doing, and will continue to do until its all crumbled to the ground. Like you did with the Greeks, the Romans, the Egyptians, etc, etc, etc. Destruction of great civilizations comes from within. And nothing is more at the center of a society than homes. And who is unfortunately at the center of those homes??? Ya, you girlfriends, wives and mothers. And the more freedom you adult females are given the more and more self-centered you become. And the more you cheat..not ONLY on your husbands and boyfriends through your high levels of deceit, but you also cheat on every one of your children. I understand you dont want to look at yourselves as a gender because you are so sickening. But you gotta so you dont destroy every single thing. Its obvious why you are seen as the "saintly" gender.
@graciemichel27562 жыл бұрын
Me to
@lunashine68392 жыл бұрын
@@justthetruth6197 you’re deluded . Go get some help.
@ImranKhan-tj3dr Жыл бұрын
Or u marriad ❤❤😍🌷
@Max-cf4cn Жыл бұрын
Hello am max from USA searching for a true love let's get to know each other
@kristathome404 Жыл бұрын
I got out of an 8 1/2 very toxic relationship with a narcissist a year and a half ago. I am only now finally finding myself attracted to a guy enough to date. I have been working in myself and healing. Thank you for your videos, I believe this one will be very helpful for me when he hopefully asks me out!! Wish me luck!😀
@rosezful5241 Жыл бұрын
Me too! Healing has been hard but very much possible. It won’t happen over night. You will be sad at times and will need to let go of hurt to be able to let love in. That is hard to do and you may find entions flowing out of your spirit that you didn’t think you had. Also, you will see that your normal was not normal. You will need to relearn what is good and normal. Finding a good friend or someone with good intentions for you will help. Don’t rush the process. Only narcissist will rush love with you. The good ones will be different than you think. It will be worth it.
@titanimagalasi51394 ай бұрын
13 ways on how to make a guy commit 1. Be more than a last minute plan 2. Set the tone for what you want 3. Suggest a date plan - 4. Send an adter date text 5. Show genuine appreciation for something they did - notice the effort 6. Have them come to your part of town - bring them into your world 7. At some point, pay for something 8. Send them a picture from a different part of your life that they dont normally see you as 9. Send an "I was listenjng text" 10. Save them a cookie (tiny gifts) (i was thinking of you) 11. Be playfully assumptive 12. Avoid the bandwagon of agreeing with someone all the time 13. Beware the weekend away
@emsies81162 жыл бұрын
I do the majority of these by default and still zero commitment, everyone wants the 'boyfriend girlfriend' experience but as soon as exclusivity is mentioned all I get is a major freak out 🤷♀️
@rhondaheaslip66522 жыл бұрын
I have been following your content for the last 6 years since I split from my abusive ex husband. Thanks to your content, though I am still single, I am happily single. I chose to start watching your content because I realized I played my own part in my relationships, and if nothing else wanted to be the best I could be for both of my boys, and learn how to communicate properly with the opposite sex because I was never taught that. You have taught me so much Matthew and I am eternally grateful. I can't wait to attend your event in Florida as that has been a bucket list thing of mine to do when I could afford it. Keep up the great work. #6 is my favorite because it reminds of us our value, and the right one will appreciate those things that make us who we are :)
@casperinsight35242 жыл бұрын
Gr8 advice 😎 stop obliging, going along to get along, being a push over ...avoid getting swept up in their energy but see if they can step into yours. Stay in alignment to stay on track on course
@thaponadas76372 жыл бұрын
Post framing, not agreeing to everything and showing him multi dimensions of me is a great idea. It shows my stand, my presence and acknowledging him makes him feel seen and understood. It's actually pretty good.
@countcrow2 жыл бұрын
Congratulations to you and Audrey on your engagement Matthew. So happy for you 💓
@joyh.729 Жыл бұрын
The ability you have to clearly and succinctly explain these often elusive relationship dynamics and give examples of what you’re explaining is soo helpful. I always enjoy listening to you bc you have a TRUE gift in this area. LOVE your content!!🌟🌟
@SomParRaaz2 жыл бұрын
If you find this stuff difficult to remember or follow, one day you forget to do these things and act out as the original you... So just be you and be single. Don't pretend to be nice or someone else to get a relationship.😘 being single is sad but being divorced is the worst
@zitttu2 жыл бұрын
I really appreciate that your content has stayed so enthusiastic, it makes the 17 minutes so smooth, I love these.
@allisonbylski21395 ай бұрын
I like the very last one!! Having a pre framed conversation about going away together for a weekend. Seems like the perfect way to be taken seriously
@reneebecker8702 Жыл бұрын
I'm loving this guy. He really confirms some things I've finally learned later in life, and breaks it down even more for me with scenarios. I appreciate his advice. He is awesome!
@AmieOlsonalo2 жыл бұрын
I liked the post framing suggestion. Sometimes in the moment I have forgotten to thank a guy for a great date or I’m not sure if I really thanked him properly. I think it’s a nice gesture to send a text saying thank you, I really had a nice time and I appreciate you planning such a lovely date or however you’re feeling after a date.
@jennyandthemachines2 жыл бұрын
Saying you loved sharing time with someone, and thanking someone for a good time, they’re different things aren’t they?
@ImranKhan-tj3dr Жыл бұрын
Hi 🙋🙋 ❤❤😍😍
@julanre3160 Жыл бұрын
Seriously, the timing for this video couldn't be more perfect. I met someone online that has offered to put me up in a hotel if I would come to the State in which he lives. So Matthew . . . . # 13 is SPOT ON. 💝
@calliecutsinger8812 Жыл бұрын
Additionally: don't stop doing these things. Keep these pieces of advice relevant throughout your relationship.
@kimgordon36952 жыл бұрын
There is more happiness in giving than receiving. Slow & steady... ☑️
@kimgordon36952 жыл бұрын
If you go in with terms & expectations you're in for disappointment. Be spontaneous.
@windy2610 Жыл бұрын
All of these only works if the guy wants to stay and wants you. If not, it will be useless.
@Foxie6355 ай бұрын
Very true. we had an amazing sex and i texted him the next day, he texted back kind of coldly, i was tired off. i wish i did not text him! 😢
@aslmad12 ай бұрын
@@Foxie635it was good you texted, because his response showed you who he was
@pixiechiquita71109 ай бұрын
My boyfriend and I were deeply in love. He asked me to move in with him and as the time moved closer, he freaked out and ran. Im absolutely devastated. Thank you for these videos.
@hilo59018 ай бұрын
I’m so sorry Sweetheart! I Hope you’re doing better and will find healing ❤️🩹! (I can imagine your anticipation…to be moving in together…that is what I’d like…). 😘
@jessicahitchens6926Ай бұрын
Deeply in lust... that's not love.
@kimiashiva2306 Жыл бұрын
Hi Matthew. I'm from Iran and I've been watching you're videos since I had a hard break up after 5 years. And you really helped me out and I literally understand and believe every single word you say and try to do them. You're such an angel thank you so much.
@ThatGamerCher Жыл бұрын
Matthew, just seeing this video, but the moment I realized I and the person I've been seeing for the past 3 months have started doing almost all of these things back and forth my jaw dropped to the floor at how intuitive we've been for a bit now. As always, quite insightful and helpful, thanks so much for sharing!
@irenesubang172 жыл бұрын
I agree with the little gifts, too!!! I think everyone would feel special upon receiving something thoughtful! Thank you, Matthew!
@applevenu1932 жыл бұрын
Contact Dr Joel spell caster on youtube he will help you get your ex back
@realmaureenoyakhilome Жыл бұрын
My husband doesn’t want anything from me. 😊 I think it’s best to understand people and their love languages. No one talks about this but it’s very important.
@noticeyourneighbor864910 ай бұрын
I will never forget the day I walked around the house of the man I’m currently dating and noticed all of the little things I have given him over the six months we have been together. It was so sweet
@jacquelinenoel29922 жыл бұрын
I like the cookie analogy. On occasion, when my guy and I are out and about, we may drive through fast food and pick up a snack to hold us over til dinner. I ALWAYS save the last couple of bites of my sandwich. It’s passed to him while he’s driving, and I see the smile on his face. It shows my generous nature. I did the same with my ex husband. No sandwich, then it may be the last one fourth of my ice cream shake. You get the idea. I feel great giving it and he feels loved receiving my gesture of thinking of him. 🌹 So excited about your engagement. Do tell us more. What made her the one for you? What made you the one for her? Isn’t love wonderful! ❤️
@allisonbylski21395 ай бұрын
Also love the “not going with the flow but going with your own flow” or what we call “beat to your own drum” and go home separately after a date and not sleep together that night. Also the ultimate way to be taken seriously! ❤😊
@susane9452 жыл бұрын
I like your tips, but isn't it terrible that relationships are so complicated these days that our every move has to be analysed? I think if it doesn't just flow naturally with someone, what's the point of bothering with that person? I think the most important thing is to just be yourself! If it's all too hard, and we have to think about things and over analyse everything we say or do, then it's just not the right person. Can he make me laugh? Do we have fun together? Are we able to just be ourselves around each other? Are we on the same wavelength most of the time? Is he respectful of me and my beliefs, my needs and my thoughts? Do things just flow naturally, especially in the bedroom? If the answer is YES to all these questions, then we are probably with the right person.
@pascalinelokota21462 жыл бұрын
❤️
@madhuryamaa2 жыл бұрын
I think in general this is good advice. Matt usually points out that in other areas of our lives we practice skills needed, so dating is also a skill, and we can learn how to be better partners while being true to ourselves. We don't just have to accept this is how we are.. also sometimes our social expressions may be a result of trauma or lack of good modeling and we can always learn to behave and act in healthier ways.
@barbarar58692 жыл бұрын
Yes, i agree with you. But these particular tips seem so basic and yet i think people need to be reminded on how sending a thank you note, saving a cookie or a small gesture can really make a difference in how a person sees you.
@MT-yx5cu2 жыл бұрын
@@madhuryamaa exactly!
@impossiblegems2 жыл бұрын
I think most of these come natural for most people- I think he points them out incase you were wondering about one or were unsure if you were doing the the right thing
@msnicolevickers Жыл бұрын
I dated a breadcrumbr, and I did all but #13 (overnight never came up) It became exhausting to do more in that relationship. So I moved on and am working through getting over it. I'm sure he's not crying over me.
@alenieves88792 жыл бұрын
Great content. I really liked #9 “Send him an - I was listening - text”. Showing that you’re paying attention, and you care about the other person, focusing on those little details that are so important and make that person who they are is key to bonding, to building real connections. Great advice, as always. Can’t tell you how much I’ve learnt from you since I started following you in 2016. Thank you. What you do matters, Matthew.
@jackdeniston61502 жыл бұрын
Maybe actually listen. Rather just use the 'trick'
@applevenu1932 жыл бұрын
I know of a very powerful spell caster, Dr Joel caster on youtube he has helped lot of people get their ex back, you can search for him on KZbin for some work.
@justthetruth61972 жыл бұрын
Why do you think you deserve a guy? You dont! Let's start here...Why are 90% of college brainwashed...I mean "educated"...students human females (REAL WOMEN have been extinct for AT LEAST 40 years, young and old)? Why cant all of you females mature mentally, emotionally and spiritually past the age of 5 or 6? You cant help your physical bodies mature and get old and wrinkly by the age of 25, so that matures. But when it comes to any personal effort there is none by an adult human female. So, what is the difference between each human female and another mammalian female animal like a cat or a dog. Ok, well I guess you can talk. Mostly not saying anything that ever would really matter. But I would be amazed if my dog started complaining about how he just had to sit around all day and had nothing to do amd was bored so he went and slept with the dog next door. That would be pretty cool. The animal being able to put two words together part. Not your sexual adventures...I mean not my dogs sexual adventures. You each are so easily manipulated on a grand scale...it's hilarious. Thanks for showing us what happens when you adult females run the world...Since over 85% of Bidens cabinet talking heads anyway are adult females. The greatest civilization is destroyed because of your female leadership. And you do it in record time. Amazing. What skill and talent you posess.. Us men are in awe.. You "women" have been destroying civilizations, and what men have built, slowly while you have been slowly removed from the kitchen. Thanks for all your destruction you have done, are doing, and will continue to do until its all crumbled to the ground. Like you did with the Greeks, the Romans, the Egyptians, etc, etc, etc. Destruction of great civilizations comes from within. And nothing is more at the center of a society than homes. And who is unfortunately at the center of those homes??? Ya, you girlfriends, wives and mothers. And the more freedom you adult females are given the more and more self-centered you become. And the more you cheat..not ONLY on your husbands and boyfriends through your high levels of deceit, but you also cheat on every one of your children. I understand you dont want to look at yourselves as a gender because you are so sickening. But you gotta so you dont destroy every single thing. Its obvious why you are seen as the "saintly" gender.
@ImranKhan-tj3dr Жыл бұрын
Hi ❤❤😍😍🌷🌷🌷🌷
@Max-cf4cn Жыл бұрын
Hello am max from USA searching for a true love let's get to know each other
@Lisa_Fernandezhomeandlifestyle Жыл бұрын
When Matt says "my now fiancé" . And you go awwwwww. This made me smile so much ❤️
@user-oq2gz8zo7y2 жыл бұрын
couldn't agree more my favorite one is to show the guy that you have a meaningful life in any form
@LillybethLilyLeah Жыл бұрын
I loved the playful assumptuous one:) Texts can be so serious and planting the missing aspect in his mind and then being light is genius Matthew!
@bibilym45142 жыл бұрын
So I want to tell you guys because I do feel like we’re a little community: tonight I was on a 3rd date with a guy who’s personality isn’t my type, but I feel calm and myself around him. I also didn’t feel a lot of chemistry initially, but it’s grown because I’ve always thought him handsome and cute. I found myself making a couple of corny jokes lol, and he’s seemed to appreciate them! Well, tonight we kissed. I liked that he didn’t pressure me (verbally or non verbally) to kiss him this entire time. Oh my gosh, I lost my balance after our kiss lol! I know that’s just chemistry, but I’m glad it’s there. I’m really trying not to overthink things now and spiral off, but I enjoy my time with him. Just had to share that. Matt and Team, your advice has me feeling confident with or without him! You guys are a God send!
@oceanscience20232 жыл бұрын
Technique 13, Pre-framing was my favourate because it sets the scene and lays a good foundtion to build on when clearly stating your standards as you progress with any type of relationship.
@Florecitasilvestre12 жыл бұрын
I would love if you could talk about recovering from a crazy moment early in the relationship. I got really triggered and now i regret making a big deal after something really small. I think is worth another shot from my part, i felt a connection and real chemistry with this guy. Thank you Mathew! I love your work. Cheers from mexico
@SelfLovewithAT Жыл бұрын
I do all of these things….didn’t know there were formal titles for these actions …thanks. I’m also a nerd and appreciate new vocabulary. I absolutely enjoy all of your videos Matthew. Keep spreading knowledge to inspire love and successful relationships around the world.🌎 💓
@saycog1084 Жыл бұрын
These things are great…if the other person is interested too. I did most of these things with my last guy…everything was well accepted…one day it all ended very unexpectedly.
@claudiapurcell86872 жыл бұрын
Wow, I'm the first one giving a like... Anytime I'm watching a video with this coach, I'm getting more strength...even in the most difficult times. It's amazing the positive vibe is bringing in our life... Keep going Matthew!!❤️❤️❤️🙏❤️❤️❤️
@rottilee9502 жыл бұрын
#13 - your last point really hit hard for me cause I made that exact mistake. I spent a lot of money to take a trip to go see a guy in his province and expected it to go somewhere from there. I had high hopes it turning into something meaningful or that maybe he would move to my home city. But I don’t think he will and I haven’t heard anything from him in 2 weeks now. I feel so stupid and I regret flying to see him and putting my heart on the line like that :(
@annac.56302 жыл бұрын
Don't be too hard on yourself, we all make mistakes. I myself I'm guilty for getting way too excited when I first meet a guy lol, but I'm working on it. I wish you the best.
@annstar27932 жыл бұрын
♥️
@KarmaGirlDreams2 жыл бұрын
“Anyone who’s nerdy like me, and just enjoys the language to put to these things……..” hahahaha made me smile so wide. Love Matt for many reasons and this is one of them ❤️
@applevenu1932 жыл бұрын
Contact Dr Joel spell caster on youtube he will help you get your ex back, he is available on youtube.
@ImranKhan-tj3dr Жыл бұрын
Or u marriad ❤❤😍😍🌷🌷🌷
@makie20132 жыл бұрын
01:09 be more than a last minute plan 01:46 don't just go with their flow on a date 02:45 suggest a date plan 03:35 send a post date text (post-framing) 05:13 show genuine appreciation for something they did 06:03 have them come to your part of town 08:03 pay for something 08:49 send them a picture from a different part of your life 09:53 send them an " i was listening " text 10:46 save them a cookie (tiny gifts) 11:33 be playfully assumptive 12:20 avoid the bandwagon of agreeing with someone all the time (break rapport) 14:18 beware the weekend away (pre-framing)
@iolemaffei2 жыл бұрын
Thank you
@adixar2 жыл бұрын
Good job! Ty!
@jennyrudoff28292 жыл бұрын
Listening not listing
@shrinidhipatil3352 жыл бұрын
ty
@sweetdreams75902 жыл бұрын
i KNOW that my relationship is not right, whenever i feel like i have to watch matthew and follow his tips in order to the bf to like me or stay with me etc. Things should go forward naturally i believe without having to use all these relationship formulas like math.
@applevenu1932 жыл бұрын
Contact Dr Joel spell caster on youtube he will help you get your ex back, he is available on youtube.
@Jdid182 жыл бұрын
Congratulations on your engagement. Can you do a video of how you go from dating to engaged?
@ImranKhan-tj3dr Жыл бұрын
Or u marriad ❤❤❤😍😍😍😍🌷🌷🌷
@nicholleappel4795 Жыл бұрын
Matthew, You have helped me so much. I started watching your content years ago. Used your advice to get back the guy and build my self confidence. I recently became single again because I’ve finally figured out my worth. I will no longer settle or devalue myself. I am so thankful for your content! I just adore you! Any time I feel down or am struggling, I come to one of your videos. I hope you realize what an impact you have on so many! God bless you!!
@JeffreyDaniel25 Жыл бұрын
I am so humbled by this. It was really meaningful. It wasn't tips and tricks: it was meaningful and very kindhearted. I appreciate this very much. I look forward to listening to more. I am very excited about this.
@gissellerojas6597 Жыл бұрын
The part that I like most is that you’re glowing, fiancé is doing something great to your soul ☺️💕
@annajohansson93492 жыл бұрын
Great video again Matthew. I am guilty of being the one to play it cool or not show sweetness or vulnerability. This video helped me know the appropriate times and way I can do that.
@justthetruth61972 жыл бұрын
Why do you think you deserve a guy? You dont! Let's start here...Why are 90% of college brainwashed...I mean "educated"...students human females (REAL WOMEN have been extinct for AT LEAST 40 years, young and old)? Why cant all of you females mature mentally, emotionally and spiritually past the age of 5 or 6? You cant help your physical bodies mature and get old and wrinkly by the age of 25, so that matures. But when it comes to any personal effort there is none by an adult human female. So, what is the difference between each human female and another mammalian female animal like a cat or a dog. Ok, well I guess you can talk. Mostly not saying anything that ever would really matter. But I would be amazed if my dog started complaining about how he just had to sit around all day and had nothing to do amd was bored so he went and slept with the dog next door. That would be pretty cool. The animal being able to put two words together part. Not your sexual adventures...I mean not my dogs sexual adventures. You each are so easily manipulated on a grand scale...it's hilarious. Thanks for showing us what happens when you adult females run the world...Since over 85% of Bidens cabinet talking heads anyway are adult females. The greatest civilization is destroyed because of your female leadership. And you do it in record time. Amazing. What skill and talent you posess.. Us men are in awe.. You "women" have been destroying civilizations, and what men have built, slowly while you have been slowly removed from the kitchen. Thanks for all your destruction you have done, are doing, and will continue to do until its all crumbled to the ground. Like you did with the Greeks, the Romans, the Egyptians, etc, etc, etc. Destruction of great civilizations comes from within. And nothing is more at the center of a society than homes. And who is unfortunately at the center of those homes??? Ya, you girlfriends, wives and mothers. And the more freedom you adult females are given the more and more self-centered you become. And the more you cheat..not ONLY on your husbands and boyfriends through your high levels of deceit, but you also cheat on every one of your children. I understand you dont want to look at yourselves as a gender because you are so sickening. But you gotta so you dont destroy every single thing. Its obvious why you are seen as the "saintly" gender.
@Max-cf4cn Жыл бұрын
Hello am max from USA searching for a true love let's get to know each other
@elli45542 жыл бұрын
This comes at the perfect time! I‘ve been seeing this guy for a month and it’s my first serous thing ever. I really like him and hope that it will move forward to something more
@dee2022uk2 жыл бұрын
Hope it works out, make sure not to put all your eggs in one basket too early, ok to meet others while you are getting to know him.
@edanuryeniMCFC Жыл бұрын
What happened? (:
@susanbaker9315 Жыл бұрын
I really love the “I was listening to you text”
@jeannedavis6593 Жыл бұрын
Matthew-Must admit was skeptical before watching this video but having watched it am thoroughly impressed!👍 You have a great mix of kindness, perceptiveness with regard to human nature, and an ability to speak honestly while tempering it with humor and compassion. Well done. My favorite tip is #12-can’t recall what you called it but it was about the need to not always agree…to be willing to express an opinion or view different from the guy’s opinion. It totally reminds me of my favorite scene in the movie (based on the book by Jane Austen) Emma, in which Mr. Knightly-who absolutely loves a rather clueless Emma, quietly expresses his disappointment in her when he witnesses her being unkind to an older, less fortunate woman at a social gathering. His gentle admonishment crushes her and actually serves to make her realize just how much he means to her. Swoon worthy…..🥰
@DreadedHol Жыл бұрын
Thank you for this!! The reminder to be my own person and to stand up for what I want rather than just going with the flow was definitely what I needed to hear. I‘m terrible for saying yes to last minute plans and I definitely need to make my boundaries and intentions clear too. The challenge that I have is that we have been friends for about 9 years now. This past year, we have become much closer and clearly like each other. However, both worried about risking our friendship because we are so close 🤷♀️. Any advice?
@Freetobeme8181 Жыл бұрын
Would you rather risk your friendship or risk the regret of never knowing if you could have so much more? If the friendship is truly solid, nothing will ever take that away. If you find the romantic involvement is not for you guys then hopefully your friendship is mature enough to go back to that. You just gotta communicate communicate communicate and continue to respect and love one another as well as maintaining your independence and freedom but still staying loyal and true to one another. Also don’t get all weird once you cross the bounds of friendship, be just like you were before but so much more. Hopefully that helps, there’s only one way to find out, so make the jump! 😄😄
@worlddocumentarychannel Жыл бұрын
You wont know until you give it a shot dear, take a leap of faith
@jax40684 Жыл бұрын
My advice is go for it.. a freaking nine year friendship is stronger than anything.. you've already been through ups and downs and stuck together through it all all ready.. you might as well move it up a notch.. you already have an unbreakable bond.. you need to get married.. you will have the best family.. that's just my opinion..
@marisagarraway3497 Жыл бұрын
Any updates??
@hilo59018 ай бұрын
What happened?
@HealthyByKiona2 жыл бұрын
the weekend away thing gets complicated if they are ALREADY away...my current interest is 5 hours away and weekends away at events are common in our social circle so navigating this is going to be tricky if things progress...which of course may or may not happen anyway. This is a fantastic list and I am going to re watch this for sure. I am seeing both he and I have done many of these things already and I am glad to have that confirmation as a start. Your videos are fantastic, straight forward, well versed and full of very useful information, thanks for all you do!
@janewildly Жыл бұрын
I like all of this especially the last one. I recently met someone who wanted to spend a weekend with me at my family’s vacation home. I instantly wanted to say yes, BUT having been in a long relationship gave me perspective on activities that meant a lot to me, so I had to pivot that into a regular date til’ we get to that point. Maybe I’m wrong & should’ve thrown caution to the wind, but it meant a lot to me to plan weekend activities & spend it with someone
@thenickichronicles Жыл бұрын
Absolutely LOVE This! Also confirms that I naturally and genuinely do these things for people I care about. This also confirms that I may have less to worry about in regards to my current person than I thought since he is doing more than half of these acts ❤🙏🏻
@irenesubang172 жыл бұрын
One of the biggest indicators i know i am absolutely into someone is when i begin to share my music with them. And we start talking about music and why we love certain genres. It speaks so much about each other's personalities. And when i know the kind of music they like, i look through my music to see if i have something they might like and we listen together.
@carollloyd9230 Жыл бұрын
I love your videos, Matthew, especially this one! I hope some of this rubs off on me. I’m a serious Capricorn so it’s your humor, playfulness, done with such charm and intelligence that totally wins me! Thank for sharing this wisdom. 😍
@LoriPHarris2 ай бұрын
Thank you Matthew, I always learn so much from your videos. After ending a 35 year marriage you have helped me so much to get back into the dating scene with boundaries and expectations. Thank you❤
@rshep7997 ай бұрын
Excellent love the last one and never thought about it like that. I certainly would have an expectation that a weekend away would mean more commitment.
@therealtulip Жыл бұрын
Matt, just in case you ever run out of dating advice, you could always start a comedy channel on the side 😅
@v.m.72392 жыл бұрын
Thank you for step 4! In order to not be clingy, I’ve been playing it cool. I knew I needed to be more genuine but didn’t know how to do so with the right balance. Thank you for articulating this. In regards to the moment right after sex, you’ve mentioned before to not act like it made you both closer emotionally, so what would be a way to stay genuine in that moment? I’m asking because women tend to actually feel closer emotionally after sex. There’s a balance you have articulated here but I think this is a topic many women would benefit from you delving deeper.
@justthetruth61972 жыл бұрын
Why do you think you deserve a guy? You dont! Let's start here...Why are 90% of college brainwashed...I mean "educated"...students human females (REAL WOMEN have been extinct for AT LEAST 40 years, young and old)? Why cant all of you females mature mentally, emotionally and spiritually past the age of 5 or 6? You cant help your physical bodies mature and get old and wrinkly by the age of 25, so that matures. But when it comes to any personal effort there is none by an adult human female. So, what is the difference between each human female and another mammalian female animal like a cat or a dog. Ok, well I guess you can talk. Mostly not saying anything that ever would really matter. But I would be amazed if my dog started complaining about how he just had to sit around all day and had nothing to do amd was bored so he went and slept with the dog next door. That would be pretty cool. The animal being able to put two words together part. Not your sexual adventures...I mean not my dogs sexual adventures. You each are so easily manipulated on a grand scale...it's hilarious. Thanks for showing us what happens when you adult females run the world...Since over 85% of Bidens cabinet talking heads anyway are adult females. The greatest civilization is destroyed because of your female leadership. And you do it in record time. Amazing. What skill and talent you posess.. Us men are in awe.. You "women" have been destroying civilizations, and what men have built, slowly while you have been slowly removed from the kitchen. Thanks for all your destruction you have done, are doing, and will continue to do until its all crumbled to the ground. Like you did with the Greeks, the Romans, the Egyptians, etc, etc, etc. Destruction of great civilizations comes from within. And nothing is more at the center of a society than homes. And who is unfortunately at the center of those homes??? Ya, you girlfriends, wives and mothers. And the more freedom you adult females are given the more and more self-centered you become. And the more you cheat..not ONLY on your husbands and boyfriends through your high levels of deceit, but you also cheat on every one of your children. I understand you dont want to look at yourselves as a gender because you are so sickening. But you gotta so you dont destroy every single thing. Its obvious why you are seen as the "saintly" gender.
@dianecameron34672 жыл бұрын
@@justthetruth6197 Wow, who hurt you smh
@amj03 Жыл бұрын
Love when some dude mistakes Biden (and all males) for “females” then writes an erroneous paragraph about it. Get help.
@zenab8682 Жыл бұрын
@@justthetruth6197 This deeply resentful perspective would poison any relationship with a woman and it’s rooted in the past, not present reality (which has infinite possibilities). What about being the change you want to see in the world? Healing the pain in your heart? Once we get at a heart level that we are enough, we have enough, and we do enough, we can be content waiting for the partner who is the opposite of a soul-destroying succubus (they’re out there). Assuming all 4 billion women out there fall into that camp makes no sense. Sending you hugs and hope for a better future! -A random college-educated politically moderate woman who cares about men and is trying to empathize with the struggles and societal pressures men face
@jenshaw8085 Жыл бұрын
@@justthetruth6197hey Mr. Butthurt Misogynist Incel, do you copy/paste the same message on every post? That won’t make people sympathize with you more. We all think you need therapy, a boatload of it!
@keithfoester7326 Жыл бұрын
thank you for this! but in my heart of hearts, truly, i don't know what 'love' is, but i believe that 'love' is a type of warm feeling that lasts despite ups and downs.
@evilinsilva29602 ай бұрын
Matthew, 😂 I was watching your videos here, just allowing the automatic feed from KZbin to bring the next one... and after the ending on this one... the reference to the Dove advert... 😂😂😂 I just had to subscribe. You're so funny and light that it's impossible not to become a fan. Thank you.
@yoshikomiller4557 Жыл бұрын
Sending an I was listening text is such a cool thing. In any relationship setting. Loved that you mentioned that 👍🏼 Also not agreeing all the time and not being a Yes person is so important. All these tips were sooo good but those are my top 2 wisdom nuggets I took from the video 😊
@jessicaqu2 жыл бұрын
I chuckled at the "save him a cookie" advice. The look on your face was priceless.
@toniwhaley8629 Жыл бұрын
I like #13 the best...Preframing. Thank you. Thanks Matthew. Love that you're rock solid!
@SynnJynn Жыл бұрын
My husband then boyfriend we're dating at the time. His friends got him sloppy drunk. They left him in his puke. I got to his room and saw the state he was in. I went back to my apartment and got clean sheets and blankets. I cleaned him up, changed his sheets, and put him back to bed. We have been together for 28 years now. ^-^ I do whatever I can to make him happy. It's the little things that matter.
@e-bedai2 жыл бұрын
We miss videos like these Matthew. As much as we enjoy the mindset videos, the how to videos are extremely helpful too 😀
@applevenu1932 жыл бұрын
I know of a very powerful spell caster, Dr Joel caster on youtube he has helped lot of people get their ex back, you can search for him on KZbin for some work.
@MagicalYLuna321-3 ай бұрын
It took me such a long time to understand that guys also need to feel excitement and validation from us, the validation we like them, whether it’s in compliments or marking their positive traits, showing affection and seem excited to see them, Just like we care that about they care too, this is excatly the pre frame and after frame text to show it had a meaning to you
@elenalamonalisaКүн бұрын
I have been out of the dating scene for 10 years, and I'm just here for the comments . Wow, I'm shocked, appalled, and in disbelief to see how everything has drastically changed in the last decade. Dating now is like a game of chess.😢
@dr.sarahbasu59442 жыл бұрын
Mathew, I just love your videos. They are so great and I feel like they can be applied to not just our life lives but other parts of our lives too, with family, friends n work colleagues. Personally, I totally agree with #1 and #13 the most.
@juliedao6463 Жыл бұрын
Thanks for this, I have actually done several of these tools, so your giving me confidence that I am on the right track 😅
@pattiney38902 жыл бұрын
I loved the "why, do you miss me?" line! You are the best!
@gagandhaliwal18672 жыл бұрын
Matthew you are just so sweet, humble , handsome and kind hearted person...
@ambientbackroundmusic36952 жыл бұрын
Matthew your like the dad I never had and never knew i needed. You bring so much value to my life loveyou ❤️
@ambientbackroundmusic36952 жыл бұрын
@Chioma Priscilla what do you need help with exactly? Maybe I can
@ImranKhan-tj3dr Жыл бұрын
😍😍😍❤❤❤❤❤
@ImranKhan-tj3dr Жыл бұрын
@@ambientbackroundmusic3695 I m here 👧👧💖💖🌷🌷
@Evowoman12 жыл бұрын
This opened my eyes to trying something different and practicing my skills for when I do meet the right guy!!!
@lilianly7069 ай бұрын
This confirms that I’ve done the work except for number 13. I have not gone away with a guy I recently dated. Thank you so much for posting this guideline for LTR dating
@diannalara58537 ай бұрын
Thank you so much. I would’ve never thought of the “Why? Miss me?” reply on my own ❤
@thaobenn63392 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for sharing this video, which is very helpful. I particularly love No. 3,4,7,8, 13 Best wishes from London ❤️❤️
@sofiafeliz7032 жыл бұрын
Thank you, Matt. Your advice is great, as always. But I am not sure about #13. I think that spending a weekend with a guy is a part of the process of getting to know each other. If we put so much importance on a weekend together wouldn’t it just scare off the guy?