Unsure Whether He’s Right For You? | Matthew Hussey

[@KimberlyR.Hamilton]

Watching this captivating video stirs up painful memories of the recent end of my 4 year relationship. My beloved partner chose to depart, leaving me with an unyielding ache. Despite my relentless efforts to reconcile, I find myself grappling with frustration and an inability to envision a future without her. Despite attempts to purge her from my mind, I remain haunted by his absence, feeling compelled to express my longing here.

[@BenjaminJones-re8re]

Its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 5 years ended, but i couldn't just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back.

[@KimberlyR.Hamilton]

Intriguing! I'm curious, how did you find a spiritual counselor, and what's the most effective way for me to reach him?

[@BenjaminJones-re8re]

Meet fatherabulu , a renowned spiritual counselor acclaimed for his talent in bringing back ex-partners.

[@KimberlyR.Hamilton]

Thank you for this valuable information.

[@rachels2568]

I agree with Steven here. I was with someone for years who fully supported me in all my pursuits. However, I had nothing to support him on because he had no ambition or goals for his life. I encouraged him to find something he was passionate about or work towards a personal goal, but realized that is just the person he is and nothing I did would change him. The relationship became boring and lackluster, and I truly believe you need more than just acceptance. There are many people whom I love and accept, but I could not have a successful long-term relationship with them.

[@tacrewgirl]

I've had this in a relationship too, and I completely agree with your sentiments. He was a great person who supported me in my pursuits, but I had nothing to support him in because he had no goals or hobbies. It was always me initiating or getting him to try something new, never him. The lack of energy on his part is eventually what pulled us apart and ended the relationship.

[@Rinkletwinkle]

Can u tell more.. I'm in a similar situation. He is such a sweet guy. Idk what to do

[@Rinkletwinkle]

@@rachels2568 UPDATE: wasnt a sweet guy 🥲 turns out he is a jerk. Gurls DONT DATE BROKE MEN

[@surdogal]

Great timing as always Matt. I’m a passionate hand drummer and I’m dating someone who doesn’t play any instruments and doesn’t like dancing but we went to a wedding reception and he got up and danced with me and yes, his dancing was as bad as he said it was but he did it … for me, beautiful moment 💜

[@next-next-finish]

From hand drummer to hand drummer, I'm just as bad in dancing as he is, probably. I'm willing to take the risk if that would be important for her and strengthen our bond. This was a beautiful comment and warms my heart 💚

[@coolbreeze5683]

Everyone can make a list of what they want in a partner and what hobbies they wish to share but at the same time, once you find the right person, that list dissolves and you both just want to spend time together and just feeling their presence makes you happy.

[@heatherbug265]

It's absolutely true.

[@OA2605]

What you gotta do is make a list of things you value and the standards you're looking for. And then become that list. So that you don't settle for less and get carried away in the feelings while you guys don't have the compatibility logically

[@nicolebogda1482]

A personal goal myself is to be around/with ppl who DO have differences to learn from eachother, but also things to share. Humanity is complicated….

[@adrianaclementino333]

You really nailed it, Matt. If we open up for possibilities with acceptance and non judgement we might find someone "different" who shows we're so much alike on a frequency level and that feels so good!

[@christinebellevie4775]

Well said and written!

[@haileynichelle8343]

As much as I love the non-judgmental / 'accept everyone' conversation, I think it's important to know what your standards are in a relationship. It's a waste of your time and theirs to date someone who you already know is wrong for you.

[@annag467]

Lacking standards is not the same thing as true acceptance. I think that people without standards actually gave up on themselves in a few ways.

[@jenniferpollock7677]

I believe the heart of it boils down to is whether the couple is mutually supportive of eachothers passions. Whether they decide it's important they enjoy similar things or they can accept (with a supportive attitude) the different hobbies they both enjoy.💜

[@jennifergersch9126]

And it's very important to know the difference between internal needs and external needs. I cannot tell you how many times well-meaning friends have said to me, "Oh, you like to do X, so I'll only recommend other people who like doing X, as well." That is extremely narrow thinking. If you want to set up your friend, you must actually engage them in conversation first. Never assume anything!

[@swrbygrl5774]

There is not such thing as compatibility. We are all incompatible, but it’s the work of love which makes us graciously accommodate each others incompatibilities. - Alain de botton.

[@janeesehenderson7264]

Currently experiencing this-I believe today people are driven by ego when conflict approaches they operate in ego instead of being grounded in how they feel-good bad or indifferent. Then distance is created through silent treatment, ghosting etc. but you learn more about a person when things go wrong as oppose to when things are well. Thus creating forms of doubt and indecisiveness in regards to if this will be the person you'll spend your life with vs the person they are when things are well.

[@Didi-fr5ic]

This comment is good because the guy I was seeing all of a sudden turned 360 and went on silent treatment mode and its been 2 months..but I am ok with it because I don't want a man like that longterm it will never work. I tried initiating twice to kinda find out what was going on but you're right what if something bad happens to me or he gets mad at something and it will always be silent treatment.

[@RAE-homely-fairy-of-the-light]

What I crave is honesty...heard someone say 'I'd prefer to piss you off with the truth rather than lie to you' Wow! That's the sort of honest 'heart on your sleeve' kind of partner that I want....yes I want honesty...even if it piss's me off xxx

[@CRFSUIGENERIS]

I value that too!

[@Irenepoltronieri]

Yes, very rare though

[@jennifergersch9126]

Love it.

[@Becky_Cal]

Same! My experience has been that men lie or hide the truth (ie don’t disclose something they should) fearing that I’m going to get mad or react strongly… so what? That’s human. But I guarantee you 99% of women will have a more measured reaction and will trust you more if you are transparent and self disclose, rather than having them find out you’ve been deceiving them or keeping secrets.

[@NathalieLazo]

The more we work on our own selves, the better we attract, in this case, a better partner and a phenomenal relationship. There’s no such thing as the “right person” (to an extend) we have to become the right person first! You got this, I believe in you and invest into YOU! Best investment you can ever do is in yourself for your family, others, future and lives overall! 💯% back guarantee return on your investment! Have a great day! 🚀🎉❤️

[@bertbrowm4488]

Yes but this causes us to reject alot of ppl as well as we know exactly what we want

[@bunniewood]

Ive found the better i become the more people I'm unattracted too and the circle of worthy partners becomes smaller. Id still rather be a better person though then stay at the base level so many men do.

[@rubyvillarubia3338]

Yes I learned my lesson for everyday life and this time whatever happens I will make it better person than before,,I hope all of people who give trust and concern believe and guide me thank you so much

[@DearSybersue]

Some checklists are way too high maintenance. It is important to have some boundaries and expectations but not to the extent that you are sabotaging your chances of meeting someone special. ❤ It's important to have a few separate interests in a partnership but the compromise in a relationship is also important. Great video Matthew!!

[@RAE-homely-fairy-of-the-light]

When you can be yourself and be adored for that that's a truly beautiful relationship your in xx

[@tianiemitchell5692]

I agree I think it's important to connect with the person you care about not just mentally but with a hobby or interest

[@b.johnny369]

At this point in my life (2 marriages, 4 kids later), I have become more aware of what it is energetically that makes a good match for me. That can really look like any number of things when I remain open hearted about it. I care so much more about if I feel safe and heard with this person. I’ve got mine, I can take care of myself. As long as this is reflected back, I can’t say I care too much about the rest of it. Not anymore anyway. What’s important has become much more distilled. Simple.

[@gracehood7211]

Beautifully put.

[@positivelybeautiful1]

I feel Matthew summarizes well, “Someone who accepts me.” There are so many factors involved dependent on personalities, value systems, age, biology, cultural, and conditioning. Good relationship coaches & experts help me to sort it out a bit. Matthew Hussey’s discussions are compassionate & classy. Johnathan Aslay is especially good in helping to be a better self & vetting for a more compatible person. Dr. Ester Perel understand relationships between couples very well ( stability, erotic intelligence, negotiation, a paradox to be managed). Now, I am starting to understand what commitment means. Besides the obvious, “ are you going to be there for me? “ But also, “ Do I have my freedom still? Does my partner accepts me for who I am?” Vice Versa. Ps. I’m 55.

[@annag467]

I agree on the mass confusion of likeness vs. acceptance. I see this in some of my old childhood/highschool friendships. The few real friendships that persisted out of highschool are the friendships where we already long ago accepted facts of each others lives, and/or we had to learn from each other that to start treating each other as equals doesnt require tumultuous rivalry/drama. A lot of young people start with competition before they believe they can see others as equal or as people outside of some competition.

[@paulaparkman5127]

I found love, because I can feel it.... the rest we will have to work out... but love is an amazing feeling.... I can't afford to lose him, he's my everyday.....

[@helenzielasek1812]

Acceptance for WHO WE are...that IS contegious. You've have gotten the point, Mat! Great 💞 conversationAS usual. Thank you💛

[@lowrilewis7453]

Theres the truth bomb at the end! Totally agree with you. Think the woman sending in the comment was looking for you Matthew 😂 When you find someone who accepts you for you. That's the gift.

[@succulentlife3343]

I have to agree with Steve on this one. I am single but when I look at the people I've dated that I was really happy with they were all driven towards something. I don't know that it mattered what but the energy and passion makes a congruent life that is fun and interesting. Those that did not have that passion and drive left our lifestyles with nothing in common. I think baseline it's energy level driven rather than money or someone needing to be into a certain thing. 😁 Just my thoughts.

[@jennifergersch9126]

Yes!!! I've noticed that, too. It's almost subconscious, though yes, I'm more attracted to people on the same energy level, as well. I can feel the difference aftwrwards; it's the differene between a wow moment and a blase moment.

[@succulentlife3343]

@@jennifergersch9126 yes. Too much and you face meeting narcessism and to little and it can pull you down. Within a range of your own energy and matching life principles or morals seems to be the healthiest for myself anyway.

[@rashabuda]

Acceptance is a gift 🎁…means peace ,joy and more love From now on the question i should ask myself is do I accept this person? Instead of do i love this person? Thank you guys that was wonderful ❤️

[@tizi2003]

I go even one step further Matthew....I go for honoring....I don't just want t feel accepted. I want to feel HONORED. This is the requirement.

[@jean-pierreuranie79]

Watching a lot of your videos again and again since 2 weeks, after a painful breakup with my ex. You find the right words and give me awesome insights to get up even if moving on is really difficult for me ! Sabrina the Teenage Witch has played her part :) thank you Matt ❤

[@poojitachand2811]

Loved this! I also want to add my two cents- it’s not only confined to the major passions, like career; tolerance and acceptance is very important in all the little things- be it even something as little as difference of music taste or food preference. I also believe this is a golden quality, and you shouldn’t be doing this only for your partner but like almost everyone as in be supportive and accept (not do those things with them always if you aren’t close and stuff heheh that’s a bit extra), don’t shit on anyone for doing something they like just because you dislike it or even hate it.

[@Katerina2020]

Great video! There are core qualities that are very important like kindness, loyalty, generosity, etc. However other qualities that seem important might not be so at all.

[@stefycute6792]

The majority of the people looking for someone always think in a way what the other person should be. Its like everyone is looking for a full cup to drink or a full cup that can pour instead of filling your own cup and thinking of what you can give to someone. Everyone is thinking of recieving and not giving. And i think its a selfish thought. What can you offer? What can you give? If u dont know how to give then how can you recieve?

[@janetatuniquerawfoods2361]

Its So true. When I consider it during the day...I feel and then think...I want to be with someone who is 1. normally in a happy/peaceful place 2. and that this person feels that comfort and love with me...its such an open experience and existence...Acceptance is truly all humans ask for deep down...or even consciously. Its hard to mentally break down sometimes what I want in a partner....meeting good people brings so much interesting learning and growth...and with enthusiasm the other person may want to learn something new. Thank you.

[@haileynichelle8343]

I will NEVER date a guy who vapes, smokes, or does drugs.

[@lubnan08]

Great points. Understanding is different than forcing someone to be into something. Thanks!

[@MrsFlise]

Some people are really selfish and they can't appreciate that gift. They just take it all you time and affection and don't give back… That's your cue to walk away, I guess

[@babandeeprathore]

Matthew was glowing in this one

[@LouisLuzuka]

Notification gang checking in 🙏🏽💯👑

[@nicolebogda1482]

ISo much of your series could be expanded to ANY relationship! Friends, family, business….I would love to see your philosophy after all this time to take some steps in that expansion~ Some ppl have issues with everyday interactions, such as neurodivergent ppl, and would be great to see you expand some of your vids in that direction. Not all of course! We obviously need a new Dr. Ruth!!! 👏💙

[@sharascott5057]

100 percent agree , I'm a single mum and all I would love is for someone to accept me for me. Me being a mum,but also a sexy women with her own goals for myself and my son but also just myself. And in dating get tired of hearing a child is baggage or being divorced is damage. And not even given a chance as a person. I think the most fun in my life and fulfilling thing is my son. I get along well with my ex husband and his new partner. I took time out to heal and work on me so when I meet someone I wouldn't come into it worried about stepping into that level of commitment again. Because like you said people have this list and I've already been crossed off before they even know me . We travel every year just the two of us. We go camping with a trailer which I have modified with help of my friends , We host dinner parties and movie nights but the people who already said no! Don't know what that person is actually like. All because they see baggage and damage instead of what really is there.

[@lad7534]

​@@Mandy.S. I'm not that old I'm in my 20s but I do see women with kids as baggage probably if I was older and everyone around me had kids I'd see that as normal but now I think I would get around a woman with kids, because I would be thinking that I am spending money on that kid that is not mine that probably she wouldn't like to have other kids. also I would be thinking that she sees me as a partner only to help in the financial part and not really a partner. We would be in different positions in our lives, me wanting to have a different relationship than hers. I cannot talk about every guy but probably most of us wouldn't like the idea of dating a single mom

[@sharascott5057]

@@lad7534 I agree with this ,in my 20s I didn't even want children let alone want to date someone with kids. But now in my 30s and have had a kid (yep got married and thought it maybe nice to have a kid,it is great actully) but now I don't mind dating someone with kids or not as I don't mind having another but also don't mind not to have more. Financially it never comes to my mind how much money someone makes. I manage on one wage every year to take my son on a trip for weeks and my head goes I look after myself and him now on my own,I don't need him to support me that way. But just want someone to join us for the adventures and take care of themselves.

[@TheLove2surf]

After my last relationship… I took time out to work on myself and actually came to the decision that I wouldn’t even consider dating anyone that doesn’t surf regularly…

[@Emily-rj1ij]

Thank you for this. I really needed this video. I've been going through indecision myself. I'm glad i came across this video🙂❤

[@Dragonmoon1598]

Agree with the, "wanting to find someone who accepts us." General combatability "hopes" aside, ie good communication, similar sense of humor, similar life golas such as monogamy, marriage, kids. Those can each play important roles. But, as I've gotten older I relize I want someone who's filled with joy that I'm the person in their life. That I bring a bit of happiness in their day. That's enthusiastic about me and who I am. And vis versa me towards them.

[@EdenSLucf]

I reconnected with my father also three years back and some of the things we talked about was never say never and don't make promises that you can't keep. He's a man whom is up front with you and in the same vein, a schemer. I've always tried not asking for favors cuz I never knew what it would cost me. He said to me. Once you make a promise fate/ surroundings changes to make it hard to keep promises. You lose credibility with that person. The simple promises with my brother aren't kept due to circumstances that prevent me from doing so. When he first told me "(name), Never say never as your words will come back to haunt you." At the time, I told him that he screwed over my fate since he told me that, I'd eventually say never to somethings and a few have come to light. I said one word unconsciously and now, I have an online partner I didn't expect to attract with my looks and personality. If my father knew about this, he'd laugh then be concerned and finally decided to scheme again. I kind of hope my partner doesn't meet my scheme father for now, at least. Or the rest of my family, now that I think about it.

[@SeaFlower38]

What do you mean by schemer?

[@EdenSLucf]

@@SeaFlower38 He would start with simple trues where he'd show concern for you. That's all it would ever be if you don't get any closer. The closer you get to him, the more wants from you. Which why he'd say something along the line of I am hated by those closest to me and treated as a hero by those who don't know me. I don't hate him anymore but forgiving him for the trouble he's caused is another story. I was still young when I made the decisions I did that I hope other children have to make. Yet, if not having this kind of father, I'd trust and made more than I have on my belt, today. I don't believe that anything happens for nothing. I don't think this answers your question well. He plans against other for self benefit and reveals too quickly his plans.

[@DeMafiaGirl]

I don't see why you'd want someone else to be just like you to date them. You're meant to find a person who makes up for your weaknesses, cause when you're both good at and enjoy different things you can be a really good team putting those things together. I am a very chill person who doesn't particularly enjoys corporate jobs, I know I'd want to live a life where I get to do the things I want to do when I want to do them and just exist. It would be a nightmare if I dated a person who is exactly like me cause then who will pay the bills and earn the money? And there are people out there who love working and building their career and want a wife who will stay at home and take care of the house and be able to be flexible enough to suit his lifestyle. A career woman is just not going to be able to do that for them. There's nothing wrong in being a career woman that's amazing but that's not everyone's experience. Some of us just want to exist and enjoy life and just be a house cat XD

[@dcooper2664]

They don’t have to have the exact same interest as I, in fact I like learning new interest from partners.. however… They must be driven! They can’t be lazy, couch potatoes, boring and have no interest.

[@leahmillar8255]

They guy I’ve been dating for 2 months just sat down and watched an ice hockey game and I asked him why and he said because you like it I want to try it and learn about it …

[@deniserichardson8726]

Matthew I've had two Great relationships that ended because I chose to learn their hobbies to share them with them They did not want me in that part of their lives.So it doesn't work for all couples

[@AxelShepard]

I don't wont someone to change for me as much as I don't wont someone to expect the same from me. That's why I look for someone who IS like me. What is so difficult to understand in this concept? I don't know how long do I have to be alone to actually settle on someone who is not as sensitive, empathic and imaginative as I am. People who do not have this traits make me feel misunderstood, lonley and weird. How on earth can I buld a reraltionship with someone like that? I just don't think it's possible. I'm an artist... and being an artist is not only about creating some stuff but about the way you percive the world. You my spend a lifetime with no page written or no song composed but you have that ability to feel deeply. To see layers, to find meanings, to see the beauty in everything. That is not something that can be taught or faked in the long run. It's inborn sensitivity combined with upbringing and many other thinghs. So it's not about the artists cereer but about the personality. So is someone not amased by art able to put on a scuba geer and care for a minuto or even an hour about art (that is the only thing that gave me the only reasone to live so mant times) ? Yeah... maby... but what then? This person is going to be exhaustet of my art-mumbling. He can even ask questions and pretend he cares... But being bored is not something someone can hide forever.... A specially in front of someone who is hypersensitive about that. But... if there is someone who valiues imagination as much as I do I will not have to worry about that. We will be just companions walking the same road every day. We will not be the same but we will go the same direction. We will drink the same "life giving wather" and no matter what we will always be able to come to the same place to recharge and feel safe and understood. I don't know how the rest of the world sees it... but the way Jameson and Matthew talks about gives the vibe "Oh you are so silly. You don't know what you feel. You have no idea what you are talking about. I know better then you". The way they laught at Kammal literally hurt how disrespectfull it was. So they kind of triggerd to write this wall of text xD

[@BH-2023]

#Narcissist #RedFlag

[@ep4423]

Being open and accepting of hobbies is important

[@23456JY]

I do realise we all have a type of guys we go for, i think its fine if we go for the type we like innately

[@Ann-bb9sn]

My thoughts listening to your discusisons are: 🤔 Money comes and goes. Someone is rich right now does not guarantee they would stay rich in the future. 🤔 I admire that you are always certain about your path. But from my observations, not everyone could have opportunities available at the right time to discover themselves before being certain about their path. It is great (and also brave) for them to question themselves, rather than staying still in a comfort zone and not making actions for changes. (just my personal opinion)

[@zarinamaan1626]

I have the same fear as Stephen. I do agree with everything and love the anology.

[@cyn5962]

Accepting a significant other's differences can be a good thing however, I think two people need to share enough similar core values that align. Otherwise misalignment of core values will tear a relationship apart.

[@Shaye208]

Really enjoyed this conversation

[@Irenepoltronieri]

I don't know if acceptance is the right word though. Maybe for some things, but for others we want to be appreciated for that trait. I'm passionate about animals, I mostly eat vegetarian, I'm childfree and very independent. I'm ok to be accepted for my choice to be childfree and vegetarian, but I want someone to fully appreciate my passion for animals. If they just accept it and eat a sausage in my face every morning, I think they would really miss a big part of the joy I feel when interacting with animals, when playing with them. I hope I'm making sense.

[@huugosorsselsson4122]

You do make sense. Men who also have plant-based diets based on ethical (and environmental) reasons (me included) appreciate and look for similar values in others. And I suppose intelligent and open-minded omnivores can appreciate that passion in others even if they don't share it.

[@anony885]

Being curious doesn't mean necessarily that you have to be a reader.. I'm curious.. But I hate books.. I watch documentaries... And am curious abt life, people, experiences..

[@royaltyreclaimed8027]

I just wanna know how to find more outgoing, confident guys who are comfortable in their masculinity and who respect themselves. I see many men who are insecure, bitter, and under-achieving; who lack ambition, and are part of this sort of "introvert culture" where people think it's cool to say things like, "I hate people; books are my only friends." I want to meet guys with a vision, who are motivated, who love life and love people and try to get out there and seize the day. That type of man is so magnetic and lovable, but I feel like I never meet men like that. I feel like I bring all the energy and spontaneity and positivity and warmth, but I don't find men who radiate the same things back. Instead I meet men who just absorb my energy rather than mirroring it. 😪

[@tanyatanya9492]

Same happens to me,are you a Leo too?

[@royaltyreclaimed8027]

@@tanyatanya9492 No, I don't really do Zodiac signs. I'm a practicing Catholic.

[@blessingsfromspirit6881]

Me too. I’m such a ball of energy and my friends say I’m a ray of light everywhere I go but I feel like it’s so hard to find someone else who is somewhat like that and doesn’t just make me feel like they’re with me because I give them energy and light but then it can be draining on me. I have such a full life but I feel like I attract men who haven’t made full lives for themselves and use mine to fill that void.

[@leedlbagginshield8492]

There are men out there who are like this but I tend to find them more in cities. I live in Berlin, originally from a more rural area.

[@vern0123-t5j]

Great point with the scuba diving

[@pb11118]

I don’t care about anything except if we don’t share a mutual love for drum and bass, then they’re dead to me ! 🥳🎶

[@Whoamidontknow17707]

Amen!

[@ShopgirlNY182]

I’m hoping that my next partner has similar interest in music artists/genres as I do because it’s a lot more fun to listen and sing along together as opposed to a partner who hates your music tastes and doesn’t want to hear it/enjoy it with you. They don’t have to like all the same artists as I do but at least some of them or be open and accepting to them.

[@dhm8483]

This absolutely describes my situation now 😢…

[@Me-nx9hb]

These are facts people do judge to much

[@janep165]

Tell her to dress down for dates and not have guys to her house. Make her play down what her financial status is and see what guys she’s attracted to that’ll stick around. It works both ways. The more money, the more arrogant and self centred people can be. I’ve been there. Sometimes the ones who have less would give you their all. The entrepreneurs and big bucks guys/gals Have had to be selfish to fly high, unless they have a fantastic family support network 🤷‍♀️

[@AR-do2ob]

I am thinking of one guy who is not the right one for me. Not a bad guy, just not the right one. How can I miss someone who is not right for me? That's so confusing

[@janewildly]

Don’t ask for things you’re not willing to give or do yourself if the situation is reversed

[@rachelc1699]

Lol @ Steve! You can learn a lot by watching KZbin and other resources, not just reading books 😁

[@rasaperkunas1722]

Boys, I was very forgiving in my 20s; got married to not a perfect man for 10 years, divorced, stayed in a 8y long relationship with another not so perfect man, broke up. All because at the end they did not posses the qualities that I was looking for. Where they bad people? No. Now, I’m very stern about my checklist, and if it doesn’t check out, I’ll die alone. So be it.

[@510sethml]

Hey man, you clearly understand women better than i do, so i have a question. Why are women interested in me right up to the point that i make a move? Are they just messing with me to see if they can get my attention, or did they get scared or something? I dont want to throw in the towel, but im feeling constantly lead on, and its taking its toll.

[@theemariarobles]

You’re amazing Matthew! Thank you for all your knowledge ❤

[@colleenward1287]

If a woman is career driven and wants a family one day, should she be open to the right kind man who would be an excellent stay at home dad?

[@leonamay8776]

Obviously. I mean, why the heck not?

[@sana.h7303]

nope

[@blessingsfromspirit6881]

This is what I’m struggling with right now…but I already have kids and have raised them for 15 years so I don’t need a full time sah dad but my bf would be happy to be one. It never satisfied me and I love working…but there’s something about knowing he’d be happy not working that turns me off

[@bg5215]

Respectfully, this lady has not done the math. I also suspect that in her 40's after being so career driven she is beginning to realize that she has missed other elements in life that can no longer be obtained.

[@annewrites...8385]

I am on your side, Stephen. People who don't read move too fast LOL

[@Andrea-Rose]

Thank you!

[@Sk-ly7dv]

I'm with Steve on this one. Common interests such as reading and desire to learn are important. I'm an intellect myself and I know for a fact that it doesn't work if the other person isn't. Matt seems to be trying hard to convince people to be more open to someone who doesn't share the same interests and then try to accept their interests. Sorry but I have to disagree Matt. You may not be understanding Steve's needs because you're not an intellect and have different values. The intellectual stimulation is what makes the attraction for people like us. (For the record this is the only thing I've disagreed in in the 7 years I've been following and reading your books) 😊

[@miekesmit701]

Is this a snippet from a longer conversation? If so, an someone post a link for the full one?

[@Adam-ui3yn]

I knew almost immediately that 40 year old woman was career orientated. Her preferences sound like she's seeking a business partner, not a romantic interest. I very rarely see women who say they want to be a loving mother and wife, and take care of a family stay single for long. There is a false belief we have that becoming the thing we are attracted to, will attract that thing. It's like a woman asking me if I can be a good provider and I brush it off to talk about how well groomed my beard is and how I'm reaching my ideal physique in the gym. That's nice and all but just because I prioritize beauty in her, doesn't mean it's as important for her. Men generally prefer a feminine woman that is nurturing, kind, emotionally intelligent, soft, and sweet. I think I speak for most men when I say so long as those qualities are there, money has next to no influence on our attraction to you.

[@jayan9950]

Hi..Can a man really love both the wife and the other woman ?

[@misssquizza5616]

How to sum up the video in 30 seconds: we want to find someone who shares the same values, not necessarily have all the same characteristics.

[@IndigoHazelnut]

I think the basis of this quandary is more 'I want to find someone who has similar values or appreciates my values rather than ^I want to find someone who likes XYZ.. ^

[@pyreyjoy5472]

Do you have any dating advices dating a guy with kids?

[@Didi-fr5ic]

If you always want baby momma involved go for it..she will always be around.

[@GUITARTIME2024]

I'm a dude. I think it's OK but he's a Dad first. Give him space.

[@Nah-ah]

I personally would steer clear of single parents, unless their kids are much older. If you can handle being second best, baby momma drama, then knock yourself out!

[@Deenodounia]

That's great ❤️

[@sylvievachon1020]

But we're told Tobe specific on what we want to attract that

[@meggym4038]

Matthew I hope you see my message and ANSWER me!! I know a man (32 year) about 10 months, and yet not met. I have talked to him several times about that why we have not met yet and what do you want. He says: I need time. A lot happens with work and family. He calls me almost everyday and we speak on video sometimes about 2-3 hours. And I really don´t know to stay or leave. To date someone else or wait. I have been in date with 1, but I feel like it isn´t right. But I am not exclusive with him either, so... I really struggle and don´t know what to do. Should I don´t answer him when he calls. Should I be more distance? Cuz I have been honest with him about WHAT I want in my life. And that I don´t know how patience I am to wait more. Sometimes I thnik maybe someone else is in his life. I have even asked him that. But he respond I says: No one is in my life right now.

[@kerstiny4698]

Not an expert of any kind..but .I will at least start looking for someone else. Even if you want to keep him for a little longer...

[@anxen]

People who don't read just won't be able to connect with me so idk why there is pushback to saying that is a deal breaker.

[@bellatindale3120]

You can have different passions however you need to have some basic values that overlap. For Instance, I'm into health and fitness. Therefore I can't see myself with someone who smokes like a trouper, drinks like a fish and eats junk all the time.

[@adj5767]

Not sure what is ground-breaking about this? Jesus teaches this as a successful way of life - putting others above yourself. If this concept is hard to grasp or implement, you're quite simply very selfish as we all can be. 'Love your neighbor as yourself'..

[@Tspoonoffun]

Woahhhh am I here early sheesh

[@chaneln1469]

I am 31 years old, financially independent, I’m looking for someone to be with in a serious relationship

[@rubyvillarubia3338]

Who am I to refuse you..I want of course and you know I love it all what you propose but in personal not like this I don't like to trick me again..this is the result for what happened before it's deficolt for me to assume of I don't know I'm in the middle of nowhere..I want true not tricks

[@user-wb6bw1dc9n]

MATTHEWWWWWWW

[@khushiagarwal9553]

true

[@drkarenbukharibukhari9931]

🎉thsnksgodilovebronteeesrdeard🎉

[@bunniewood]

im glad that Matt called out how shallow and judgemental this lady writer was.

[@welcome2angelasworld]

Jameson is real?

[@arlenemontaner1146]

Simply love 💕

[@kevsip1002]

I just showed up. What are we all talking about today?

[@rubyvillarubia3338]

Plz stop,,I'm so depressed for the bullying in the whole world you know I have feelings also plz stop

[@lakotawarrior815]

💯

[@ramparkash2318]

Banicka Moore. 💯.

[@JustBeYouooh]

But I dooooo want someone like me because I’m a great person. I’ve dated , but realise they just don’t deserve me….

[@stelmosfire11]

The person would bore you to tears. Sounds like anyone would.

[@JustBeYouooh]

@@stelmosfire11 nah! Cos I’m fun! If they’re like me…how can I be bored?🤪 but you might bore me! 😝

[@christinaoneill1711]

I'm not driven or a reader

[@ajrodriguez8601]

“I want an entrepreneur who makes as much or more money than me”… isn’t that pretty much every woman out there?

[@JenFromCa84]

Not all of us.

[@ravindrasingh897]

What should you do if someone ruins your confidence? Seriously

[@ravindrasingh897]

I am from India not america, your number how to save in your WhatsApp number

[@jameswelch82]

Ok this is great and all, but let's be honest, woman just want a guy that's really good looking lol this is online, so we can be honest. Over 80% of likes in online dating go to 10% of men. Women on average get 100s if not 1000s of likes a week in online dating. The average guy gets maybe 10-20. That's not a lie either, it's backed by data tinder and other sites made public. If they weren't all chasing the absolute best looking men than yeah, they can find a guy.