GETTING CHOKESLAMMED FOR MONEY | Payday 2

[@aqua3234]

Fun fact: The Cloaker is voiced by Simon Viklund, the same guy who makes the majority of the music and voices Bain.

[@faye00-5]

Bruh he said “guys the thermal drill go get it.” Made Razormind and said “ now go to the forums and cry like the little bitch you are “

[@garenkijolfo4393]

LLunineee It’s as if that last line is not even meant for the Heisters in-game, but to us players. I kind of noticed it when I listened to that quote without any BG sound. Hell, some other quotes can be considered 4th wall breaking stuff.

[@Chlosephene]

Bro I didn’t know this thank you

[@lightsparx4]

"I got your dlc right here!"

[@brunovsky_]

wHAAAAAAAAAT????? THE CLOAKER IS SIMON???? HOLY SHITTTTT

[@BigJubble]

Fun fact: A few of my friends used to play basically nothing but this game for like two years straight and it got to the point where if I played a recording of the Cloaker scream you could see genuine fear in their eyes for a few moments.

[@ashleylamoureux5652]

If i f*****g hear a cloaker i run like im running from the devil himself

[@Sangheili67]

I haven't played this game in like 5 years and I still recoil when I hear that damned sound.

[@beetleknight4661]

I feel this as i my friend was watching a payday 2 video and the cloaker did his signature noise and it scared the shit outta me i actually looked around in fear lmao

[@isaacamaya6420]

“Why are we just standing here!? GOD DAMIT, SOMEONE TELL COMMAND WE NEED TO MOVE!” - Swat Member 2013 “Now go to the forums, AND CRY LIKE THE LITTLE BITCH YOU ARE!” - Cloaker 2013 “I’m the fucking Spark Man!” - Taser 2013 “Your up against the wall, AND I AM THE FUCKING WALL!” - Skulldozer 2013. “I’m here! And I brought drugs.” - Medic 2013 “That’s number six.” - Sniper 2013 “There! The payday gang!” - Captain 2013 “I’m gonna drop on these Shitheads like, A FUCKING PIANO!” - ZealDozer 2013 “You call this a resisting arrest? WE CALL THIS A DIFFICULTY TWEAK!” - Cloaker 2013

[@enternamehere4124]

So basically the cloaker is the vietnam of gamers

[@YourGuyJoeyStroganoff]

"My wife said it was either her or the dodge build" "God I miss her" "...and now she always misses me"

[@AdamRC47]

took me a minute but thats actually hilarious

[@lorcanpowell7043]

Only 40% of the time tho

[@opuil]

I got a 60% chance to dodge bullets not a 60% chance to dodge alimony that's 100% hit rate lol

[@silkenemperor]

Reminds me of gears of war 3 Baird and Sam.

[@Magnetic_Shrek]

Rogue is terrible

[@retrograde7156]

The funniest part for me is that in the meth mission, the chemicals bane asks you to get don’t make meth, it makes table salt. So your under a whole scale FBI assault while making table salt.

[@lighttank3905]

damn, i tried that and sniffed it. Now my nose bleeds

[@uvuvwevwevweonyetenyevweug3800]

you’re selling table salts for 2,999,000 bucks

[@LuvzToLol21]

Oh, and Bain doesn't even know how to cook meth. He's just reading off some website he found.

[@localidiotnumber792]

And you know this why?

[@lornbaker1083]

Bain actually admits it midways the hiest that he's getting the info from some random web page

[@ThatSwailGuy]

22:53 I love the fact that the lights turned on just as the bulldozer ascended almost as if he was going to heaven

[@xuruiyu]

Since most music in Payday was done by Simon Viklund, I'm pretty sure "The best of me" is canonically just Bain singing

[@tylercoon1791]

The gang just recorded Bain at karaoke one night and just vibe with it

[@matthewyeldig4608]

@@tylercoon1791 Naw bro, he's singing over the radio! "BAAAAAAIN! WE NEED! A! BEAT!!!"

[@anoone2922]

I wonder if Bain will ever rap?

[@peoplebro_1294]

Fucking cloaker and Bain dueting

[@edbob6463]

New lore: Bain was apart of an internationally famous band as a cover to rob banks across the world

[@tylerwaggoner3601]

I love how he’s been using payday character models for years yet hasn’t played it before now

[@oH_._]

more like he's been using cloaker and dozer lines for the past couple of years and never played the game until now.

[@lieutenanttilted3226]

All in good time

[@JasonPootis]

Now for team fortress 2

[@AWACS_Snowblind]

Memes are universal, if we didn't play Payday literally the day it came out, we learned of it through the lines first

[@yawnshark5430]

I was thinking that all these lines and sound effects and he had never played it

[@kade_the_cin]

“Take this stealthily” Do you mean: fully automatic unsuppressed assault?

[@gojo1838]

Loud stealth

[@screamingcactus1753]

@@gojo1838 Nobody can call the police if they're all dead

[@nicolasa.3192]

@@screamingcactus1753 Dead men tell no tales, and therefore, excessive use of hand grenades is not only permitted but encouraged

[@imjustthomas3973]

I LOVE THIS COPYPASTA

[@theyluv_breaux1687]

That's exactly what stealth is

[@gren8te319]

11:45 mickey running laps across the screen with each word of "I AM SPEED" was hilarious. he took jacksepticeye's advice of "speed is key" and...ran with it! (puns! whooooo!)

[@SimpleCAMMANlover]

What song is it please tell me I just love that ost

[@patrickfinnegan2788]

​@@SimpleCAMMANlover the song in question is Break the Rules (from Scarface Mansion heist)

[@SimpleCAMMANlover]

@@patrickfinnegan2788 thanks my brother

[@untitledgoose9436]

Fun Fact: if you kill a cloaked with a shotgun while he’s about to kick you into a coma you get the achievement “in your town you’re the law but In my town it’s me.”

[@StarkRaven59]

There's also an achievement for killing a jumping Cloaker with a grenade launcher, simply titled "Not Today".

[@TheFlyingslug]

And one for tazing a charging cloaker, I've discovered by accident.

[@crowwithanxiety5459]

Theres achievements for everything in this game lol

[@StarkSpider24]

Rambo.. John..

[@WreckinPoints11]

@@crowwithanxiety5459 There are almost 1300 achievements in this game, I wanna die.

[@tablekun8690]

"The best part of random is randomly getting a banger" the entire soundtrack is a banger

[@quox3987]

There is, without a doubt, no bad music in this game. Only varying degrees of great.

[@Move2Groove]

I feel like if I was friends with TheRussianBadger, My depression would be cured

[@oH_._]

I was in the same gate, but then the moment I heard Death Row, I have never changed the song anymore. Head Banging Guitar shifting to Head Banging EDM when it gets loud, especially when the assault starts... MMMMMPH.

[@GothicKnight942]

Hey can you help me out what’s the song that starts playing at 2:35 i just can’t find it

[@cyo_mh]

@@GothicKnight942 razormind

[@LMG3864]

Everyone: "I'm running out of ammo, someone drop an ammo bag." Bullet Storm users: "I don't run out of ammo, I run out of targets."

[@wenusman4254]

I have taken away my like for the sole reason of making it 69

[@Fwmonkeys]

Name checks out

[@slymarbo2559]

Hippity hoppity your life is now my property

[@imperialfist2304]

The fucks an ammo?

[@beef-jerky]

If overheating was in the game, they wouldn't have hands anymore

[@rudipack1551]

Being 61 and so bad at games, I have to say I have no idea what you guys are going on about 110% of the time.......but I love it, so much fun, thank you

[@JamesplaysTF2]

I bet your better than me

[@thehoodedteddy1335]

Most based 61 year old… or I guess 62 now

[@StreamyDenny]

"You think we can bully Almir into adding a comically large spoon?" Well, I guess they can

[@player3616_]

Fork*

[@DrewSavo]

New video released: Subject is Comically Large Spoon!

[@Daniel-wu6pl]

@@player3616_ SPOON

[@Laikafan02]

And it worked

[@davidwilliams1949]

G O L D

[@ZiroZenStudios]

“This whole game is an elaborate shitpost.” Well bullying Almir Listo into adding an comically large spoon certainly proved that, if it wasn’t obvious to some folks before.

[@Fentnihilator]

500 like no comment?

[@capybara9521]

@@Fentnihilator ta gueule

[@foodd6196]

@@capybara9521 toxic lol

[@firehazardentertainment8381]

He forgot to mention the Cloaker's best line: "The safe word is 'Police Brutality'."

[@yourdrifttunerisabot]

Just........bruh.mp3

[@Cairo40000]

Yeah I'm just going to save that voice clip and send it to my black friend

[@rollfizzlebeef5384]

Topical too.

[@sandow8575]

My favorite is the forum line. " Complain on the forms like the bitch that you are."

[@seantaggart7382]

NEW UPDATE: Cloaker: see those Protesters? *GONE!*

[@WyattTilley]

Hank: beats a clown who can't be killed Dallas: AHHHHHH I NEED A MEDIC BAG!

[@genericalias6307]

Finally, he covers the game he gets half of his voiceline sound effects from

[@ryanfrazer390]

I know

[@darrellshepherd9948]

It took a while but its worth it Edit: 19 likes thanks

[@trollage468]

GenericAlias PETER

[@DrPhil305]

Brother

[@pretendthisnameisfunny2197]

I have been wondering where it’s been for a whike

[@eppic17yt5]

Badger: You can't just use a minigun in a stealth build My minigun stealth build with 20 detection: hold my beer

[@firehazardentertainment8381]

Slap crits on that bitch and you have what my brother and I have dubbed the "Mega Chode" build.

[@anto-mediocreamvs9488]

fuck it. silencer on da minigun

[@SadToffee]

Remember being able to run the entirety of carshop without a car because of the movement speed glitch on the minigun, that shit was hilarious.

[@charles3426]

@@anto-mediocreamvs9488 extended mag

[@moronichybrid]

@@anto-mediocreamvs9488 There's a mod for that.

[@alexanderlorin7686]

The phrase "You're up against the wall and I am the fucking wall" is one of the best one liners in gaming history

[@deathrow5261]

DekuGames ya

[@topdoomslayer3913]

Mine is the Dozer’s line that goes “I’M GONNA DROP ON THESE SHITHEADS LIKE A FUCKIN’ PIANO!”

[@deltacommander6060]

That is when the Dozer with the Mini gun and a Medic Dozer are really the Fuking Wall.

[@austinbutcher8106]

@@topdoomslayer3913 i liked tht 1 to

[@Infer8]

I honestly thoughht he said CRUSADE pack

[@NerdySketchesYT]

The mixture of gunshots, rockets exploding, machine guns blazing, and the voices of the enemies sounding like they're screaming and eating their microphones all mixed together is music to my ears

[@davidarmstrong9728]

"Guys, loud or stealth?" "Razormind". "Say no more."

[@Heisenbones21]

Break The Rules is one the best songs in the game

[@Mophony]

[Laughs in bulletstorm aced with KSP]

[@luckyrice672]

@@Mophony hox how the fuck did you get rid of all your burns

[@bencenagy5459]

@@Heisenbones21 code silver is amazing too

[@Heisenbones21]

@@bencenagy5459 I kind of haven’t heard any of it

[@Yoko_Grim]

*"As long as they have hostages we're gonna be delayed on assaults... FUUCK!"* Bro that's underrated as fuck. SWAT Commander reporting to the Police Chief as to why the criminals haven't been stopped yet, and he straight yells "FUCK" on the radio for all the cops in the city to hear.

[@Siren_DarkOcean_Official]

Honestly stress and frustration can make you loose your cool It fits well honestly

[@WaylaidByEndlessNinjas]

Hey we have the same pfp

[@Yoko_Grim]

@@WaylaidByEndlessNinjas Yo

[@WaylaidByEndlessNinjas]

yO

[@Vyrsamitchell]

Would you react differently

[@kingofthedamned6237]

One of my favorite cloaker quotes are "alright, the safe word is "police brutally", "You call this putting up a fight?", "It'd be good if you put up a better fight next time!", and probably the best of all "I bet you let yourself get beat up, just to hear what I have to say!"

[@CynicalFurry]

Simon is a G O D

[@Wheezr]

“You call this resisting arrest? WE CALL THIS A DIFFICULTY TWEAK”

[@Jacob-zk1jy]

I’m scared... I keep hearing beeping at random times then it just stops. It all started the first time I heard the voice line about letting him beat me up after me letting him beat me up and now I think he’s in the real world ready to drop kick me out of nowhere

[@ProtoEve]

@@Jacob-zk1jy Simon's coming for you

[@PlagueDroctor]

13:48 the way the guy just got sent flying has me crying bruh 😂

[@Adric101]

*_HOME RUN!_*

[@Two-BallTyrone]

3:45 I was playing Payday 2 while watching this, and the cloaker noise literally made me stop everything I was doing and pull out my melee. (I run sociopath, and I'm working on my stoic.) Cloakers literally trigger my fight or flight response, and frankly I think it's for good reason.

[@doot7730]

FUN FACT A more reliable way to dodge cloakers is to walk backwards

[@evanavina7638]

@@doot7730 What if a cloaker or a wall is behind you?

[@ThePcHeadedGuy]

@@evanavina7638 you either get the counter-thing that counter's melee's (includes cloakers) or you start shooting them however if you want to stop the cloakers from sending you to your hell...just play solo with no bots, cloakers cant karate the s*** out of you if you have no teammate's.

[@redsaltt]

@@doot7730 it's actually better to side step or run towards them. They'll end up jumping over you if you do it right

[@aweirdgamer-rm5jt]

And my response is always fight, but that's not always a good idea... because I don't always run sociopath

[@Crimson_Sun2486]

The virgin SWAT officer: You can't just take ammunition from the Department of Justice! The chad Dalas: Oh don't worry, *I'll give it right back.*

[@speak-the-red-letters]

9:22 19:44 The United Bank Of MONEY

[@NayrAnur]

*Razormind starts playing*

[@Supimhere]

DALLAS

[@Bladesorceryguy]

@@speak-the-red-letters 19:47

[@Bladesorceryguy]

19:48

[@hansstrudel9614]

I remember one time when I was doing the gauntlet of pain known as "kiss the chef" (25 bags on cook off on overkill+ which takes well over an hour excluding the several failures at about the 20 bag mark) I had the funniest and most infuriating experience with a cloaker ever. So I was the designated cook and i was just minding my own business when I hear a cloaker booking it towards someone which was odd since my buddy and I were both upstairs. As I'm confused by this I see the cloaker ascend through the floor to drop kick me in the face like it was Jesus on the third day. From that day on I've had a religious respect for the reality bending properties of cloakers.

[@sabindumbrava712]

was in a small map in a office (don't know the heist) and then I turned a corner and a clocker jumped above me I couldn't stop laughing then IT HAPPENED AGAIN I finished the heist and had died of laughter my friend was beside me he couldn't stop laughing too (sorry for bad English it's my second language)

[@hansstrudel9614]

@@sabindumbrava712 I've noticed that as time has gone on cloakers do stuff like that more often. Like they'll charge straight at you then suddenly stop or hit a wall. It's kind of funny going through the game with the initial impression that cloakers are a force of nature and completely unstoppable to suddenly realizing you guns can atomize them in one hit. Same goes for bulldozers.

[@oH_._]

@@hansstrudel9614 you and the cloaker are essentially two gunslingers in a duel and whoever has the quickest draw will win the fight.

[@ruggedtundra7618]

Bro kiss the chef is easy

[@EzekiesAcheron]

@@oH_._ Ya' not wrong tho.

[@THE_AZT3C]

Dude the fact that badger manages to give information while making a funny and fast moving video is why he is one of the best KZbinrs out there

[@jamzee_]

“Does everybody in this discord have a M1 Garand?” The Canadian: (immediately) “yes”

[@FB-ik1md]

But he isn’t canadian

[@jamzee_]

@@FB-ik1md isnt heavenly canadian?

[@Beasthunter-rg1sc]

Idk

[@FB-ik1md]

@@jamzee_ but badger said it not heavenly

[@CLNCJD94]

I’m pretty certain Badger is a born Canadian and moved to California with his family when he was like 8?

[@tankdesu7077]

Stealth: • Is overall more effective • You get more XP • Easier to get more money • Not getting shot at Loud: • *Ha Ha, loud music go DUNDUNDUN*

[@TheMO219]

Simon Viklund go BWAAAH BWAH DUDDUDUDU

[@The_Shy_Guy.]

Well to be fair payday 2s music is an absolute smacker

[@dino5373]

Loud music goes:don't act dumb

[@HuttsonKill]

Reminds me of Rong Rongs animation."Payday 2 in a nutshell" Here you go m.kzbin.info/www/bejne/e4GXqZd-p96Abbc

[@wolfpupgaming5922]

That is literally the differences XD

[@Bacon_the_arsonist]

0:16 "PASS ME THE MCGRIDDLE! *Cloamker sounds*

[@peoplebro_1294]

He had the mcgriddle

[@Wolf-E_VA]

“Basically Press f a lot and murder cops” Me with 1000 hours and been around since day 1: “THATS NOT TRUE, sometimes YOU JUST MURDER COPS!”

[@bug_stonkin_wess1221]

Me with over 500 hours: "hey no sometimes you press 3 too!"

[@ZJRLT]

@@bug_stonkin_wess1221 What about *G.*

[@sunshineslasher501]

Me who came from payday1 uhhhh guys is there anything else to do?

[@ZJRLT]

@@sunshineslasher501 Well exept rob,rob,rob yet again and *WE GOTTA BREAK HOXTON THE FUCK OUT.MP9.*

[@mono.isgtds]

Wait we gotta turn Bain into the president.

[@dave6763]

Jfk died because he wasnt running the dodge build

[@Stormfire1777]

All who don’t play dodge will die

[@bakedpotato1916]

@@Stormfire1777 nah bruh my gorilla limbs are indestructible

[@average-7693]

YOU are getting the chair for sure

[@JohnTavastian]

Dodge build best build

[@diegobrando3430]

Maybe his dodge chance was to low

[@michaelscott6022]

"You runnin' dodge?" "Nah, I'm driving a Toyota." _".....GET. OUT."_

[@caelanforeman8639]

Look at these plebs running only dodge or tank. Ha

[@navalpeanut7432]

4:52 "bulldozers arent that hard to deal with right?" Rip Bob 2023-2023

[@Jonaegh]

"Imagine being a police veteran that's two months away from retirement, you get one final dispatch... And some shitter wearing a doge mask direct impacts you with an RPG" I adore that sentence

[@ohtontheknight3879]

Don't forget he painted that rpg pink

[@LilMcMoffett]

@@ohtontheknight3879 And put an ACOG on it.

[@kasagrim7215]

Damn that be a rip if that guy didn’t survive. Or somehow did with a shield

[@rambot_14o43]

That's a clone tho

[@DigitalWaves15]

18:59

[@pudding2077]

Badger's visualisation of the dodge mechanic made me imagine a group of friends playing Payday 2 as a pen and paper rpg and the DM has to take a piss, turns to the guy running a dodge build and goes "Yeah, here's a Minigun Dozer. He fires 100 bullets at you. Have fun." and just gets up and leaves the party with 100 dexterity rolls.

[@shanonfree8210]

Sounds like a plan.

[@JayDubagent]

This video is the definition of "Stealth is optional" Then you rush the objective with a 50. Sniper rifle and a commando rpg in full tank build with a bottomless mag.

[@terribledeadlinegameplay]

nobody can raise the alarm if there is nobody

[@FiresideExpert]

You inspired me to get into Payday 2 and I gotta say it is a blast. Thank you badger.

[@skiller5034]

One of the most ridiculous skills is "uppers" aced. Whenever someone would get downed while in the vicinity of one of your first-aid kits, it is instantly consumed and they are fully healed. So you can fall from 10 stories onto a first-aid kit and be completely fine.

[@Airbomb]

Does not activate on fall damage ;)

[@frazza5503]

It isn’t really that broken, especially on death sentence one down where it’s mandatory, there’s also a cooldown for it so you can’t just sit around 10 kits and not go down.

[@skiller5034]

@@frazza5503 Not saying it's broken. Just saying the concept is ridiculous.

[@YataTheFifteenth]

@@Airbomb it does though

[@antoniooestereich9690]

I love the one where you can just scream at a downed teammate to get them back up

[@gabrieldeoliveira8304]

The achievement when you first encounter the Cloaker is called “HOLY SHI-“

[@snifey7694]

Cloakers are scary to

[@fosterrico5546]

@@snifey7694 but snipers are a lot more scary...

[@prophswrld]

Foster Rico incorrect

[@cyberkinetic4342]

@@fosterrico5546 I'm an anarchist build player and nothing in the game comes anywhere close to the level of fear that snipers provoke

[@jg2hd264]

When I hear the cloaker sound I just except my death

[@MRJazzygameplay27]

Badger: Civilians are useful Me, after 400 hours: Searching for every last civilian in the map to kill them

[@anarchistlilia]

I literaly have 400 million dollars and I dont know where to spent

[@mrmeme94]

Me : just did bank hiest The civz: 8:47

[@nathanhodges5997]

It took me about 40 minutes to hit that point, damn

[@milesbailor5019]

they are also useful if you are hungry *Soylent Green Intinsifies*

[@marioanothlp]

If they want me to give a shit they have to give me more than 6 cable ties, until then I'll use my "Civ controller" silenced deagle to keep the alarm from being raised thank you very much.

[@Remorseless2]

Here's the problem with cloakers. I set my alarm to a max volume cloaked battle cry. Every time I hear it now, I immediately feel like I'm late for something lol

[@nathanniesche6380]

Technically, some of the characters do have a very tiny impact on gameplay. It's nothing that changes things in any practical sense, though. Jiro can use the katana melee to decapitate and bisect cloakers, and Bodhi can use the Platypus sniper rifle to blow the heads off of tasers. Also, I don't know if it technically counts as a feature, but Wolf actually spasms out when he's tased.

[@Baxxei]

didn't know that! Really neat stuff, I love details like that!

[@Random_chaos_diver]

Yeah badger needs to use the katana on a cloaker

[@Siren_DarkOcean_Official]

I think Duke is the same with the tiny impact, I'm not sure though but he is the one who has the Stoic Perk Deck

[@SeanBidwell]

@Nicholas Darryl Halim Like what was in here wasn't already going to do that. lol.

[@cam0227]

Wolf makes that sound as a leftover from pdth All of his voice lines are basically copy and pasted from there

[@todo9633]

"Does everyone in this discord just have an M1 Garand?" "YES"

[@blarghinatelazer9394]

I want to join that club.

[@Mischievous__Slime]

@@blarghinatelazer9394 Join the Discord and we will give you a free M1 Garand. *please note that this is a joke and not meant to be taken seriously.*

[@acewithacrown7844]

Wtf why I they have m1 grands im just British and this American stuff is for some reason

[@Mischievous__Slime]

@@acewithacrown7844 I'm sorry, but it is 1 in the morning and i can't understand what you are trying to say.

[@todo9633]

@@Mischievous__Slime Don't worry, it is 3pm and I also don't understand what he is trying to say.

[@smokinxeno]

"Don't ask me why the cops think trading in a single civilian is worth letting a psychotic mass murderer back into the fight." aged beautifully.

[@WonderfulWhale]

Bro I was thinking the same thing!

[@firefi1960]

I'm confused and concerned

[@natedrake7163]

Literally had to check comments to make sure I wasn’t repeating what someone else said.

[@boxatron8010]

@@firefi1960 the prison system traded a Russian weapon dealing warlord who was being held in an American prison for a WNBA player with an opioids addiction being held in a Russian prison

[@firefi1960]

@@boxatron8010 ...Nani the fuck is wrong with America? You know besides everything-

[@Vietc0ng]

24:17 imagine a bulldozer falls on to a person’s new car

[@andrewclayton1701]

I would cry

[@MarntchManatee]

God I remember all those memes that came out through this game when it was in its prime. That was truly the golden age

[@kidfunkyfly2807]

I still play it sometimes

[@blazin2200]

Yooooo nostalgia

[@plumdestiny6968]

Yeah

[@vino_ctrl8007]

I haven't played that game in 4 years might have to play it again

[@noobguy9973]

@@vino_ctrl8007 boii shits changed

[@unokidzero4749]

"Medics are just annoying" me realizing hes never tried killing a medic dozer before

[@ComissarYarrick]

Tell me about it...No mercy on DS-OD, two minigun dozers walking throu corridor, with medi dozder and regular medic just behind them. Imagine this and feel the pain.

[@felipeboero2532]

CRY SOME MOOOOORE.

[@sulimsulim9190]

@@ComissarYarrick ye,i once tried to do no mercy on dsod and got rushed by 2 minigun dozers,medic dozer and 2 regular dozers. At the same time.

[@hms5]

sulim sulim no mercy is just a slap across the face for new players

[@boomertunes4410]

Power armor dozers

[@archfiend8544]

I can just imagine the dozer being like, “All right, time to get to wor- *Watch dings* OOP LUNCH TIME!”

[@levievil9220]

He probably has to follow a strict diet just to survive wearing all that amor

[@zackince8803]

Man just said it’s time for lunch

[@Raiden_The_True_Ripper]

Bro said fuck this shit I’m out I have a family

[@P.H691]

Across the street, the dozer is enjoying a nice burger while his fellow police men are being killed in the hundreds

[@astroshepherd8272]

18:04 something about a winking dog staring me down with a minigun is... True Fear

[@thehoodedteddy1335]

It’s an instinctual reaction because it means you have pissed off the furry community and are about to die

[@vaasmontenegro9299]

Badger talking about wolf:”imagine unironically being European” Hoxton, dragan, bonnie, clover, Sokol and Jimmy: nervous sweating

[@depressedninjaturtle1813]

Sangres: Yes just them

[@dwighthaynes8075]

I'm pretty sure sokol isn't European

[@kylebowens3731]

@@dwighthaynes8075 Russian

[@TheDoctorThrax]

@@dwighthaynes8075 Given he’s from St. Petersburg he’s technically from Eastern Europe rather than the bulk of Russia that’s based in Asia.

[@YataTheFifteenth]

and Vlad. He ain't a heister, but hey, don't forget the _fucking_ Sputnik.

[@KommieKaze]

Cloaker be like: “STOP RESISTING” while blasting 30 hollow points in you dead body. Also imagine a “Fritos Robber” loadout that has a m79 or china lake grenade launcher.

[@derekmensch3601]

You mean an M79? An M67 is a fragmentation grenade.

[@adankpancake]

its like real life

[@astronaut3248]

David Wolford Same, relative. Mood. Mood.

[@KommieKaze]

Shit my bad i was thinking of the year 1967 but you right and i will correct it 👌

[@insertgoodname5615]

yeah, the cloaker's way of handling the problem did not age well.

[@70ny74]

Dozer: *sees hundreds of cops being slaughtered* Dozer: “understandable have a nice day”

[@Theogwhitemask]

Back blast clear, FOR THE DOZERRRR!!! *flies to Uranus *

[@XxInfinityxXTimer]

and flew back up into the hole where he came from 22:53

[@pigpizzl1]

I saw this on the stream. Absolute gold man

[@benjaminsays693]

dude as soon as the menphetamine catched fire around 1:50 my irl fire alarm started going off

[@remedynoneofyourbusiness6]

Was someone making dinner?

[@benjaminsays693]

@@remedynoneofyourbusiness6 yeah

[@mrsuper-kamipopo9708]

The madlads actually added the Comically Large Spoon

[@basti2850]

YES I CAME HERE TO FIND SOMEONE SPEAKING ABOUT IT

[@mario9036]

What?

[@kittlegame5550]

did they fucking seriously

[@horribleperson9531]

And a golden version of it that turns people on fire

[@jonathanspolnicki1303]

@@kittlegame5550 *Y E S*

[@aqrom8907]

Fun fact: If you mix the components that the game tells you in the heist "Cook off" you actually get water

[@HESHRocketWarhead]

Salt water, I believe. They couldn't put out the actual recipe for meth in a game. That's illegal.

[@kevincoleman-tammen1266]

I thought it was blue salt and water. Like to simulate blue meth from Breaking Bad.

[@Spoudey]

Damn it I had plans Payday let me down.... Jk

[@_stef666_]

Were u trying to make meth?

[@Spoudey]

+o no NOT YET

[@disfunctional]

Fun fact: John Wick is in this game and it’s canon to the movies

[@awolfyman9050]

Is it actually canon?

[@disfunctional]

Spartanwolf223 ye

[@punishedwhispers1218]

@@awolfyman9050 Chains is in John Wick as a cameo

[@awolfyman9050]

@@punishedwhispers1218 do you know where?

[@skiller5034]

After the true ending it's said that John adopted a dog. Because that's *totally* not gonna go wrong. Also one of the tips is a quote about how he killed three people in a pub with a carbon stick or something idk never watched the movie

[@dreckdante2412]

im not sure how it happened but every time on 5:02 when the dozer is gonna say "And i am the fucking wall" an ad pops up right at the time when dozer says fucking, and it is hilarious to me

[@RyuujinV]

"And the last member of the Payday Gang, Bain. He doesn't have time to be a clown because he's too busy managing the entire circus." The level of genius in this single line is out of this world

[@raul-aurelianserban8295]

500 like

[@Viddaric]

...I just realized that it gets even funnier when you take the secret true ending into account.

[@spiciimann2988]

so this is what Dwight was doing before the entity took him

[@StonewallTitlow]

This is literally what happens when you take the “you are not a clown.. you are the entire circus” meme in an unconventional manner.

[@Youhadabadday2021]

​@@spiciimann2988You have no idea how hard I laughed at this.

[@vikingshaggy2786]

Badger: "I'm not getting monetized!" Me : still has to watch 7 ads in one of his videos

[@mortemor6663]

1 hour ago

[@mortemor6663]

Now is fucking demonetized

[@MinZilla]

@@mortemor6663 it's monitized

[@MrET_Be_Youtubin]

@@mortemor6663 monetized still

[@dylansepper]

Unfortunately ads don't actually pertain to monetization. Ads will get played on most KZbin videos for those without ad block, whether or not the KZbinr in question actually is getting monetized for their video. Demonetization only means that the creator doesn't get paid.

[@maxforge4333]

“Wife told me it was me or the dodge build. Gosh I miss her.” Correction, she misses you.

[@bonogiamboni4830]

Nah dude, she don't miss. The alimony has 100% hit rate.

[@birdwolf8016]

You already know she wants that child support with it.

[@randomtimes7092]

Uses bathroom *coaker noises*

[@birdwolf8016]

random times honestly just play the cloaker noise to any PayDay2 veteran. I’m gonna do that to a friend in the middle of the woods on surround sound speakers.

[@iamacatperson7226]

Bird Wolf bring a body bag, he is legit gonna have a heart attack, I know I would...

[@l-shadow1775]

0:59 payday 3 servers be like

[@llukandane3337]

FAX

[@mrsmiley548]

Civilian: Wa- what's that? Me: oh, I call it the " Street sweeper" Civilian: why is it called that? Me: :)

[@ironclad3380]

*its for PROTESTS*

[@TheBulldozertron]

ironclad33 🤣🤣

[@joogthefat979]

CIVILIAN CASUALTIES

[@tobikool]

*laughs* I aM In dAnGEr Me: no you have already died, if you haven’t noticed

[@hms5]

Wait a minute i just realized the name

[@remyrichardson8614]

I like to think that Cloaker is just 1 guy that is invincible, is aware he's in a game, and can duplicate himself. When you "kill" him, he lies down out of pity for you.

[@stingingcashew2321]

He does break the fourth wall on occasion...

[@SpineNoodles]

Make way for the Cloaker I no cap made that up off the top of my head

[@BeeVee231]

50% of his voice lines breaks the fourth wall

[@omerfaruksahiner3361]

I mean, hardcore henry is canon to payday. One Cloaker with infinite clones making him practicaly invincible makes sense.

[@CasternKnight]

Shy guy is yes Bob yeah no shit you made it up off the top of your head, it’s just the Dozers voice line but you replaced Dozer with Cloaker, you’re not a creative genius lmao

[@brysonhieb2378]

Badjur: plays payday and makes one mistake Payday veterans: allow us to introduce ourselves

[@dandy7876]

It’s actually spelt “badgher because he is a ladies man”

[@sydious_s_snake]

Imagine making a tank build without ex president or anarchy cuh

[@omegasyndicate3893]

Yes so much yes (lv680)

[@stoner8975]

Hes been using the models from payday 2 for so long aswell

[@brysonhieb2378]

SydiousSneakySnake I kNoW RiGhT

[@TheAbsoluteAce]

The guy who created Russian roulette introducing the new game he made to his gambling addicted friend 15:53

[@notasovietspytrustme4392]

“NOOOOO YOU CAN’T JUST RUIN OUR PERFECTLY LAID OUT STEATH PLAN!” “Hhaha minigun go *BRRRRRRRRRRR*

[@ericneuens]

@ddrkyle No.

[@Goskoya]

Hahaha controller go **BRRRRR**

[@PimpinPFood]

@ddrkule Ewww a redditor Stfu this is youtube

[@swattofficer6624]

Was on a train with my brother and he got to watch as I legitimately tensed up as my fight or flight instinct kicked in as the train made the EXACT sound as the cloaker randomly.

[@justuspickle]

legitimately the most distressing sound on the planet

[@fenrisinfernum2343]

I still legitimately flip my shit whenever i hear that sound. My dad was playing payday 2 without his headphones on and I was sleeping on the couch in the lounge, he got jumped by a cloaker and I woke up, fell off the couch, and had a moment of panic before i realized what actually happened XD

[@John-Stark]

@@fenrisinfernum2343 Did a Cloaker pop outta nowhere in your dreams as well?

[@josephstalin7801]

I was sleeping one time and my best friend was playing payday with the night of a million cloakers mod on and I was terrified when I heard all the cloakers that I jumped off the bed and went under it for a few minutes

[@justuspickle]

@@josephstalin7801 wow Gordon Ramsey I didn't know you played payday 2

[@bradyswanson1041]

*picks up turtle mask* "I am Mitch McConnell." "Feed me poor people." I fell out of my chair at that one.

[@HUNTER-ve3iw]

same bro

[@anarchistnudle]

All hail our god!

[@SuperGamerYoBros]

Same 😂😭

[@raw1175]

SuperGamerYoBros ex😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@frosty5948]

I didnt even laugh

[@victorv7390]

22:53 my guy literally said "nope" because he knows he gonna die XD

[@SozeSR]

“Iron man basically makes you immortal” *laughs in Death Sentence One Down*

[@MerchantrRe4]

With Kingpin

[@dragonskinner7109]

@@MerchantrRe4 Stoic

[@imtoolazyforaprofilepic4961]

Not Tag Team... Sadly....

[@babyragegekyume4132]

@@dragonskinner7109 Crook

[@bryannaing6316]

Only real chance is running Anarchist and even then it's a coin flip lol

[@LeviathanTamer31]

I just realized... when Badger's complaining about the Sniper quotes, *he's thinking that Ilija is a Police Sniper.*

[@tp4bunghole108]

It’s a similar issue I have with the TWO DRILLS joke. In the heist, you’re drilling two holes so you can fill the vault with liquid nitrogen

[@justuspickle]

maybe he just framed it like Ilija was a police sniper so it fit into the video? def seems like something he'd do. mr. badger is an entertainer first, educator second

[@khiemtrinh8330]

I thought it was Grouse complaining about the quotes.

[@paulsd9255]

Grouse is complaining about Ilija but Badger’s commentary mixes him up with police snipers

[@JoeMihaly-xz3wy]

@@khiemtrinh8330 just

[@NightmareNighty]

Medic: ”Aren’t even scary.” Meddozer:” I am the pain itself ”

[@Scuzz1204]

You brought upon my PTSD

[@btfastinger]

STOP

[@PeachDragon_]

You just triggered my ptsd

[@memes_the_dna_of_the_soul5487]

GOOD NEWS! FREE HEALTHCARE! BAD NEWS! IM YOUR DOCTOR! NOW GET THE F**K UP. -the medicdozer-

[@KaiTheRedWarrior8244]

So which one is worse Zealdozer or meddozer, never played payday

[@Wamboshield007]

The thanos 50 cal is a m82a2 which were prototyped for the military and only one civilian to my knowledge and it is a nice touch to have in payday

[@thepanzerofthelake732]

I love Payday 2 because of 2 things... 1st is: Shotguns catapult people yards away in a single shot allowing you to put people on top of doors making stealth heists hilarious as hell 2nd is: In stealth there is something called "Sprint Jump Crouch" where you end up diving everywhere like it was a never ending Olympic swimming contest and it is actually fucking *OPTIMAL*

[@creeperhunterD]

Helltaker pfp?

[@belovedtuba4737]

O panzer of the lake, what is your wisdom?

[@tankhead2645]

It's like dolphin diving in MGSV exept somehow funnier

[@isvuswright4882]

I remember one time on First World Bank I sprint jump crouched across the entire second floor balcony while a guard and two cameras had a direct line of sight and didn't get detected before I made it into the meeting room, and the infamy zero watching me the entire time lost his shit.

[@budder561]

I was playing with a buddy one time who was new to the game, so we were doing four stores on normal. I was in the middle of the street, mostly because I knew nothing would really fuck me over as i was running dodge. Well i had the winchester shotgun running ap rounds, and a shield comes up behind me as im reloading. I just turn around, stare him down while finishing reloading, and point black blast him over the convenience store. Like ive never had a shotgun launch like that before, nor did i ever get one ever again, but holy shit it was hilarious

[@tenacityxl]

“Civilians are fragile.” Damn bro I didn’t realized that ONE BULLET could kill a person!

[@mohamednail1707]

I learned that the hard way

[@Lemon-Aide_]

Yeah well people are basically opaque glass

[@memes_the_dna_of_the_soul5487]

Badger comes from R6 where hostages can tank a slug to the face.

[@karelpgbr]

Mohamed Nail HOLD UP

[@josephmoriarty8421]

What do you mean hes dead i used one bullet

[@vintagememelord8168]

No No you can't just climb in to the vent without animation Dozer: Aight Imma Head out

[@marklaube1590]

adios

[@faye00-5]

Haha float go bye bye

[@geraldballinger6428]

"stealth is optional" good, i was getting bored *grabs all the explosives*

[@JohnGannet]

Badger: "Sometimes you're forced to rely on melee" Me, who single handedly cleared out Mercy Hospital using nothing but Two-Handed Great Sword: "Well, maybe not sometimes"

[@Jaybird_102]

Bruh

[@GeneralQuilix]

Katana or Kento’s Tanto for max damage. Damage per swing is the same, but the swing speed is faster, so you can two-shot a dozer with the right skills.

[@memes_the_dna_of_the_soul5487]

Or you know. Just run sociopath or infiltrator.

[@M0rtifer]

That was really entertaining! :)

[@M0rtifer]

@Conner Dodd Thanks a lot :)

[@sneaky_beaky_b0y]

Good to see you here This video is just payday in a nutshell with 400 tons of meth while u are in acid

[@baarks]

My favorite Payday 2 KZbinr. Bless me with infamous mask drops lord M0rti

[@ypee9001]

Huge fan of ur work!

[@Slipfox_xyz]

Ey would you look at that!

[@YourCrazyDolphin]

Small detail, but nice for dodge players- even the two-piece suit is technically armor, and no shot can actually hurt you through armor, even a point-blank shotgun (snipers exception). So Dodge builds don't gamble as much as you'd expect- they zip around until that one shot hits, then run away until their armor comes back.

[@Man-df2zh]

odd thing about shotguns in payday, if you didn't know- only one pellet needs to hit to do full damage, though they do have falloff.

[@alrightatgames]

Which takes like 2 secs

[@nathanblevins158]

“Pass me the McGriddle!!” Is now my war cry in FPS.

[@DaTDawg8191]

Fun fact: it is canon that killing a medic violates the Geneva Convention.

[@Darthren-hc8pe]

So everyone is a war criminal in here

[@constipatedmind5245]

Technically, combat medics are only allowed in wartime. So THEY are the ones violating the convention

[@mrllamaton1873]

Me who has played medic in TF2: WOT

[@DaTDawg8191]

@@mrllamaton1873 yeah only in payday 2 though

[@classifiedad1]

@@mrllamaton1873 Mercenaries aren’t covered under Geneva so killing Medics in TF2 aren’t technically a war crime.

[@zahando1576]

as a wise scientist one said: “you’re not a war criminal if there’s no military to judge you”

[@Kriegsdude]

I get that reference. Edit: HELLO GORDON!

[@Kriegsdude]

@doggo dude yep

[@ksgfordays8863]

Shut up Dr. Coomer

[@imanidiotbut8424]

I used za hando to remove the law

[@hellnou2527]

„Drink soda it makes you see faster“

[@refuze2quit603]

“I need a medic bag” “Shut up, no one can hear you baby crying while I’m shooting with minigun”

[@CaptainRhodor]

CRY SOME MORE! YATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA-

[@carleggs2037]

"Sorry I cant hear you over 2000 rounds per minute."

[@spplum5528]

I need another Med kit

[@greeny5549]

CRY SOME MOOOOOORE

[@andrewcurtin7003]

Fun fact! In vr you can shove your gun through the shields shield and blast him in the face. Its both hilarious and terrifying

[@fuery.]

You ever trying to arrest dudes in clown masks while using a shield just for their minigun to phase through your really expensive bulletproof shield

[@fleshdadbot6852]

Like in the hoxton breakout short where someone kills a dozer with the drill

[@AstronAndry]

​@@fuery. Bulletproof ≠ Gunproof

[@Gameguy5289]

You remind me of Lazy Purple doing the 'How it Feels to play' tf2 series with how you animated the stuff and I love it. Thank you. The vibe is amazing.

[@zurc-hj7we]

Both of them are funny

[@usafa886]

HOLY CRAP LAZY IS AMAZING

[@RobMustDie482]

Screw you, I am gonna go play Minecraft. *pop*

[@aaaineedamedicbag4811]

@@RobMustDie482 the minecraft gag has been going on for so long and yet still isnt stale its amazing

[@shadowbitten3341]

yes

[@RangerAce1290]

“Nobody wears body armor when depositing a check.” Ever been to Baltimore? Edit: My friend from Baltimore has seen this comment and confirmed it

[@BettyNoire04]

Or Detroit?

[@Stern98257]

@@BettyNoire04 cant have shit in detroit

[@thegamingnugget7755]

@@BettyNoire04 its just natural to wear a bulldozer suit on a walk in detroit

[@justsomeberd7407]

That’s America

[@sonyas948]

You mean Florida

[@Ledyuka]

I know it's 2 years late, but know RussianBadger that you can run an almost 3 concealement, dodge build with a minigun. The build makes you generate ammo like crazy and considers any shot 80% of the damage of a headshot whatever the body part you're hitting. In addition to running like crazy. That's my favorite build :)

[@drageleongames4397]

While rewatching a few of badgers I came across his “vlog for tax purposes” video whim in one bit heavenly said “it don’t matter how much bread I make as long as one person says they the video made their day it was worth it”. So I thought I would go onto everyone’s channel go to their latest video and say how much I love this content no matter what mood I’m in it always makes me feel better, and I just wanted to say how much your video mean to me and how much they mean to us all

[@blarghinatelazer9394]

Wholesome

[@adam-ve3rd]

wholesome shit right here

[@frost5249]

Paydays enemy’s is basically what happens when you give the military defense budget to the police

[@dionjaywoollaston1349]

So rainbow six but with more of an emphasis on quantity over quality?

[@luigiranieri849]

So USA's Police in a nutshell, nice.

[@conwaysquest6961]

Because the Payday Gang are basically what happens when you give the the entirety of the military defense budget to a bunch of violent criminals.

[@densecroissant6089]

Except absolutely none of that budget goes towards training.

[@reskay3623]

Only on mayhem and up below that and it seems like they took their budget

[@scouseleemini1]

“Hey, we going loud or keeping it quiet? Actually... don’t answer that” *A-10 Warthog sounds*

[@AnickYT]

I would love to hand carry the Avenger Cannon!

[@lokomoko3442]

Dallas:I NEED A MEDIC BAG!

[@ethanlee56]

0:04 *MAKE WAY!! FOR THE DOZER!!*

[@morningstar7019]

Yeah stealth we don’t fuckin do that here My team: let’s go stealth Me: pulls out my golden AK kills guard doesn’t answer pager Friend : what are you doing ? Me: *continues blasting killing swats and civilians*

[@Ghostly3011]

Anybody know where he got that sound? I can't find it.

[@Rockyikes]

Rewatching old badger videos and the bulldozer saying “AND I AM THE FUCKING WALL” got me dead 💀

[@simplyjustowen9413]

I love the: "You call this resisting arrest?, We call this a Difficulty Tweak"

[@ishiblack7497]

Creators: we give you options to assault and ste.... Players: "F$$$ going stealthy!!!!"

[@Lion-mi8wq]

Brother, get the flamer... the heavy flamer

[@hinsedejager66]

The policeman after trading a single civilian for one of the criminals that gunned down 70 of your colleagues "Another life saved"

[@shrimpboom8]

That negotiator has already saved more lives than the majority lol.

[@Dean123123100]

Only 70 ?

[@lt.boinks992]

70 is an understatement

[@JimmehRulez]

70,000,000*

[@lt.boinks992]

@@JimmehRulez pretty much

[@isaacfrand3824]

Honestly, the first 20 seconds just about sums up everything you need to know about Payday 2 perfectly. This is the video that got me into Payday and Russian Badger simultaneously, and I’m very happy about it

[@kingodin1498]

Imagine Badger’s dad looking at his search history and just seeing lots of farts sound effects

[@disfunctional]

I have no words for you