Getting your EX to chase you is a process | Understanding Reattraction

[@blacademic]

Book a 1 on 1 coaching session: calendly.com/breakupcoachtj

[@Gist24]

3 weeks of no contact he reached out saying he was sorry for everything .I've ignored his texts and calls tho. I was doing the no contact to get him back but I realized in the process I don't need him anymore.he's planned to meet my best friend on Friday to talk about it and she just told me ...truth is this version of me doesn't want him back I want better

[@tjasakrajnc2801]

My ex left me few month ago. I was very broken. We texted little bit last month. He said, he miss me and that is not easier for him without me. He wants to be my friend, go to coffee, but he doesn't want me back. I just rejected him. I don't want be his emotional blanket. I don't want him anymore. He betrayed me too much. I told him that.

[@OiVinn-eq1ml]

Update?

[@tjasakrajnc2801]

@OiVinn-eq1ml he looks at me from distance....

[@marieevans8166]

Pretty sure I’m doing exactly what he wants, which is leaving him alone

[@eynar14649]

One of my exes reached out to me by replying to a WhatsApp story I had shared of my cat. That’s how she opened the conversation and then asked me if I still wanted to talk to her. I think the reason why she became reattracted to me is, I didn’t beg her to stay at the moment of breakup. If I had asked her to stay, she wouldn’t lost respect for me

[@pawel3241]

I gave her ultimatum because she cheated on me with another guy. So I said you either drop him or I leave, she couldn't drop him, so i left.

[@Nothinglikesunshine]

The key is that both ex’s must want it not just one person breaking their back while the other isn’t putting in the work to make it a successful relationship the second time around. With that being said I can definitely move on fully from my ex because I no longer wonder if I did my best to save the relationship because it’s now evident that I most certainly did and i clearly wanted it more than he did. So I’m better of dealing with healing versus another heartache. Eventually I’ll meet my equal and I wish the same for all of you. 💗

[@luisaah5707]

Thank you so much for your advice. I applied no contact for 1 month and went on holiday, revised 3 chapters of my novel, focused on my work and enjoyed time with me friends and our shared friends. Yesterday, I saw the missed call. Now he needs to earn my trust. I agree. I will take the things slow.

[@luisaah5707]

Update: I decided to cut it off. He has been super toxic after that no contact. I am great ful for having gone no contact. I am finally free. Not worth my time.

[@13sprintuser]

Thanks for posting the update! And I’m happy you made the right choice for you!

[@liltsummerlin423]

I truly wish I was in a financial position to be able to support your channel. Out of all of the relationship type coaches that I have listened to over the years I enjoy yours the most. You have such a calming voice and everything you speak is indeed Fact. I know it's true because I've made every mistake that you mention and the exact thing that you say will happen did happen. You live and you learn. Even us older ones are still trying to figure it out because the rules of dating have changed so drastically over the years. To be honest it's not even worth it anymore.

[@alliecat6342]

Me and my ex were broken up for 3 months and he was in a 2 month rebound. I did no contact however he kept calling me every couple days even while he was seeing the other woman. He came back a few weeks ago talking about marriage and now we are back together and doing very well. Not sure what I did right but he came back. He did say he wasn’t as attracted when we got back together but I feel the attraction is coming back. I lost 23 lbs and am looking better. I am being very loving to him and not bringing up the rebound girl like I did when we first got back together. Forgiveness goes a long way and just focusing on having fun and enjoying our time together is key. He asked me the other day how I’d like to be proposed to. He’s talked to his parents about us marrying. So things can come back together even after a rebound!

[@ricatalano8577]

I got broken up with 4 days ago. She told me that she’d like to try again one day but there are no promises. I have hope that I can change myself for the better and atleast regain some of what we had

[@HojaFPS]

May I ask what happened to you at this point

[@TanjaMacyyy]

update?❤

[@DeemMeBeautiful]

It really is a slooowwwwwww process and I’ve been trying to have a balance between being patient in the rebuilding but not getting too hopeful. I tend to be very anxiously attached and I’m working on it but it’s tough keeping my distance. His pattern is initiating surface contact for a day or two then being quiet and coming back. It’s tough knowing whether to stick around or just give up.

[@JM-bv2mo]

Mine is very in/out too and I’m talking about weeks. Just focus on you stay busy. They feel that energy when you’re detached which is what I’m doing. I love him but I am trying not to expect a lot either.

[@mariefricchione437]

He’s not coming back. It’s obvious in and out game. He must want the sex again not commitment!😢

[@IslandGurl85]

I was in no contact for 5 months he kept messaging checking up on me when I never replied he turned up to my house NC does work because he dumped me he’s telling ppl he made a mistake but there is no way I will take him back I just have the last laugh know my value, right now I have the upper hand, he thought I would beg and chase him oh please 🙄 as if LOL Life is pretty good for me 😊

[@DarkArmedDaddy1]

It’s been 7 years and I still have hope. Don’t expect them to come back in a few months it ain’t gonna happen.

[@DarkArmedDaddy1]

@@danilaroche1156 yes it can even take decades sometimes. I gave my heart and soul to her so it will be really hard for me to consider being with someone else forever. Couples have broken up and gotten married years or decades later it does happen. Life is strange

[@sirninjaraiden]

Jesus that's insane. I love my gf to death, and want her to come back as well. 3yr ldr but 7yrs? I'll prolly be married by then.

[@justonian_]

If you don’t move tf on!

[@fitforfreelance]

It's a good time to focus on your health and business goals!

[@Nothinglikesunshine]

I tried and I figured that I shouldn’t be waiting on any one after all. There are billions of people out there. If it didn’t work out perhaps it’s just an opportunity to find who you actually are aligned better with.

[@norswil8763]

I hear this so much, coming from people who’ve never found someone worth the struggle and billions of people on the planet, how many in your orbit? How many are quality? If you find someone special it’s worth the fight. This is my situation right now, I’ve meet and dated many girls, none can match this one, she’s worth the fight.

[@upperiscopeUK]

Steady, sensible and rational advice.

[@SunnyLadyFannie]

Having this type of perspective coming from a man is priceless! Thanks, so much for your content!🙌🏽

[@ricci_x_richie]

Just subscribed... yea things are tough between who I loved... but things seem like it's getting worse and worse

[@doughgetta92]

Yeah after I gave her back her things I went no contact with her an our mutual friend I went black ops but we been together on an off for 2.5 years an thanks for the advice

[@LavBen111]

Ay! She’s been messaging me and i’m playing it casual. I mean after we broke up i’ve been pretty cold and we know that we have future together but we need time. Now she’s contacting alot but she doesn’t want to be together. So wtf i suppose to do now? I’m better person now and i’m concentrating to my work and hobbies but everytime she texts, i’m like why if she doesn’t want to be with me. I guess this is the rebond time or reattraction time but i’m kinda clueless what she’s trying or what is her goal. (She dumped me cuz i was too lazy to do things and pursue our relationship) i got this video but this has been a super weird timeline

[@JM-bv2mo]

We were broken up 6 months and 4 months later he msg me a few weeks ago saying he is thinking of me. Our texts are scarce and casual b/c I’m not doing the work anymore. It’s on him. But this is a very very long process. Let’s see how it goes. Continuing to manifest him back.

[@TakamuraAso]

Trampeled all over your Heart--> best sentence

[@loewe7]

Thx I need this she asked 4 weeks ago for a break …. We had a relationship of 6 years… last 2 years it went down… basically because of my lazy behavior examples are not working on my self esteem not focusing on having goals in life beside my 9-5 job sitting on the sofa … complaining about little things in life … not cherish the day you wake up etc … she could not take it anymore… while she was and is the opposite… works from 9-5 having her side hustle going to dance classes etc … she lost attraction she said … it’s hard and I’m bettering my self with these flaws … but she can not tell me how long this break will take from her part … so I’m doubting if she will come back …. Especially because she says that she doesn’t know how long she needs

[@MrMpm3001]

You need to go NO CONTACT and work on YOU! I see the accountability in your post but you have to improve yourself and find a passion. DONT wait for her bro, it’s not the way to go. Be thankful it’s not infidelity or something like it. There’s a good chance she’ll come back IF you work on YOU! Best of luck!

[@loewe7]

@@MrMpm3001 thx 🙏I’m thinking to move out of this area because I she basically lives 15 minutes from where I live … and the chance to see her is there … so maybe to move to a other part of town can help also that she sees that I’m not easy coming back …. We already had a break of one month last December 2022 seen each other again in January and she noticed after a 2/3 months that I had not making progress so that’s the reason for this serious break and that she says that there is no time how long this break will last she said maybe you will be ok in 3 months but maybe I won’t … so I’m clueless

[@MrMpm3001]

@@loewe7 fuq no. Don’t move!!! If you do it subconsciously tells her you are attached and can’t deal with the pain of running into her. Hold your chin up high and when you see her you show her nothing but composure and self esteem. After acknowledging her whenever you see her you move along like she’s just a passerby type person you’ve met in the past. If she does come sniffing you give her attention but indifference. Don’t be anxious and let HER come back on her own. If she feels you are pulling her in instead of herself she will pull away. You got this brody! Chin up and hit the gym asap. Find a side hustle or even just a passion. This is textbook breakup that can easily be reattached!

[@loewe7]

@@MrMpm3001 thx 🙏 for your advice I will try the reason why is because it’s maybe a good idea that she thinks he moved on and that will make her think… the thing is that she told me she care about me but doesn’t love me or miss me

[@uprightman100]

Solid info. ... thank you Coach BLAC

[@MarcusNewton24]

You always on point bro! 💪🏾 💯

[@jennylove3084]

Thank you for all of your help Coach! I am so grateful! Love you so much ♥️🙏🏼

[@sagarchandnani5369]

Bruh! On pointt❤

[@valenciaavery2413]

I’m good….it will just end again with my heart broken 💔

[@couldstrife1]

Just don’t see it at the moment, been apart 4 months now. She’s “seeing someone new” but already seem to be going through problems but she’s so determined to fight for it. Which she didn’t seem to with me and we was together 10 years, we’ve started talking but I’m noticing it’s all about her rarely is she asking about me or even us. Only time she’s said about where we are was when suggesting talking once a week. In my head I’m done but just miss hearing her voice so I don’t really know what to do

[@sungurll7491]

please sm1 answer me if they can relate, i beeged my ex a lot mostly bcz he promised to always be here for me nd stuff and suddenly he stopped viewing my mssgs , calls and stories if i go radio silence will he ever reach out or think abt me ? i think hes an avoidant but idk ?

[@SuzanneBolden]

Perfect timing! Thank you!

[@TJ_Watts_]

Quick update on my situation. Its not a get back together story but its not a negative story either and ultimately I am pleased and happy for ME. - I ran into my ex yesterday (she broke it off with me and I was the one wanting to still fight). She left anyway, it’s been 6 weeks no contact but the initial break up was 1/26/23 :(. - I took it as a sign that I was seeing her and I never planned to reach out because I was respecting her decision to leave and giving her space although I didn’t want it. - I was always nervous to see her again and never knew how I would act but I’ve been doing the work, praying, manifesting, practicing affirmations, working on my mindset, hitting the gym and elevating myself through God! Ultimately, putting the energy all back into me instead of her and learning self love. - And when I tell you, I was not going to reach out to her until she reached out to me because I needed/wanted to know that she desires me or wanted to reach out to me on her own terms and not because I did (aka no contact). Nonetheless, in this case I believe she was placed there, at that very moment in time for a reason, I wasn't going to overstep but I also wasn't going to ignore the fact that she's right in front of me so I walked up to her. I was shocked at how much strength I had to genuinely still tell her that I loved her, I missed her but I’m happy that she is doing her for her and that I’m still her biggest fan and that I forgive her (I have tears in my eyes typing this because its so hard and I love her so much). - She broke down crying, she didn’t say much back (and I'm okay with that, we both were caught off guard) but I can tell that she is still emotional and my value, my presence and impact was strong enough to bring her to tears. And when she cried It was a friendly reminder to myself of how VALUABLE I was to her. I LOVE HARD, she gave up too early IMO but that's okay because I'm leveling up and God got me. - She has not contacted me or anything still and I'm "kind of" okay with it (still working on not expecting the 3D to happen right way ;) but I want to tell you that I’m so proud of myself and thank God because I showed so much strength (strength that I didn't even know I had but I've been working so hard to be a better me during this break up and no contact) and pure LOVE because that was my baby girl and I was still able to walk away with my head held high and I think she noticed my strength too. I miss her but I’m proud of me. - Idk what God and the universe has in store for me. He knows my “desires” and I believe he’s prepping me to realign with her or someone better. I pray that it’s her but only if it’s in Gods will. It was a sign, I’m not sure what the sign was for or about but I'm not going to question it, I'm just going to let things work out the way they are supposed to. I’m just so grateful and I’m walking in faith not by sight. _ I'm not sure if this happened from manifesting, prayer, working on ME for ME or a combination but the fact that I got to see her was a positive sign in my opinion. Not your ideal story when it comes to no contact, I personally don't think this will prolong things either and I still have hope for us so we shall see what happens. I just felt that I NEEDED to share this with you because your content brings so much value and I'm thankful for you. All in all. I just want to tell people to DO THE WORK REGARDLESS because there IS a chance that they may not come back and if they do, you will have made he necessary changes or if they don't you'll be a better person for you and maybe someone else. I'm just excited and wanted to share, so cheers to see what happens next.

[@joeysauce]

Thanks for sharing TJ. Truly inspiring. Keep doing you. How long did you two date?

[@TJ_Watts_]

@@joeysauce thank you for reading it. We dated for a year and about 4 months

[@TanjaMacyyy]

wow thanks for sharing. update?❤

[@superdadplus3]

my ex girlfriend who broke up with wants to remain friends, I still have a lot of feelings for her and she knows it, She has a daughter and i think she wants to use me every other weekend for my kids to entertain her kid. I decided I don't want to be used like that ( I'm not her friend), and for her to see my value it can only come if she doesn't have me in her life. I 'm going to go no contact again, yes again she broke up with me in Feb and I went no contact all the way up to my birthday April 3 when she called. She had called me twice before in the no contact phase and I didn't answer. When i picked for my birthday she was meek and after a few times of me talking to her on the phone she says she does want to send me mixed signals. She's seeing someone else, and is in fact going away to Disney next week with them. yet she'll call me for morning drives to just talk. I think everytime I answer and we just talk as friends it lowers my value to her. It's hard and it's tough but the only way to get over someone is to become the best version of yourself for you. I would love to know what you think

[@sandy7777ful]

Wht to do when your ex is going into drugs and giving u mental trauma by showing their existence and trying to reconnect on social media ... ?

[@spectrumcityfx]

Always missing your content❤❤❤❤

[@murlthegirl1446]

Great info...Thanks so much

[@lisacombs5150]

You are so right!

[@IslandGurl85]

My ex made contact with me as his family wanted me to attend an event. He knew I wouldn’t go but he told me that he was always going to ask me just wasn’t sure how to ask. I said I would think about it. But in the end I didn’t go. However I acknowledged the invite as it was for his fathers memorial Thanked his family sent flowers to their house because I knew it was the right thing to do. Had a great relationship with my family For me this is the closure as I know they wanted to see me. But I didn’t But I followed my heart and my instinct that was the best thing to do As I do not want him back.

[@michaelzavala4529]

Gotta ask. What about a situation when you’re still living together because you’ve rented a place and still have months in the place. And no where else for either of you to go.

[@vernadabambieyes220]

My situation

[@vikingpubgm8021]

Mine too, except she left me for her ex to go with him and leave me with the apartment by myself 😔

[@nathanyoungblood6031]

Thank you coach. Have a good day

[@felicityayala1624]

Wow this was the video I needed!!!!!!!

[@robinebneth1946]

You are doing an excellent job. 🤜🤛

[@achangedmind3594]

New subscriber ✌️😌😊

[@MrTheomighty1]

This is where I get stuck. I attracted her in the first place and then a break up happens and now I’ve no idea how to re attract her back and do it the slow way so she stays. Any advice guys

[@jeffleft7031]

she called me after 2 months no contact and we met. it was nice we had 3 wonderful hours together but now aint writing about 4 days and idk what to do

[@princesyx]

Write her . Tell her that u enjoyed it

[@procrew98k]

I am left with no defenses For i have no control And for the first time in my man wood I'll do what i am told It's all over but the leaving you're Determined now to do I'll have the burden of gettin' over you

[@manishabhandari9464]

What if its bcuz of them we have trust issues. How can v trust them again?? How to have good time with him if he comes bck?? If u ended up on not so good terms.

[@sheddyanikwe5094]

Preach on

[@lifebylost6682]

How do you do not contact if you are living with them?

[@omar6O]

Can you still get an ex back after walking away and going back to no contact when they were temporarily breadcrumbing you?

[@oluwadamilolaoriade5426]

My just call me today after 4 months of blocked and chat's with me on WhatsApp, I was so extremely excited 😅

[@jonathanbaker33]

What do you say for a marriage of 27 years? Is it possible to fix?

[@KainKustomGarage]

Thanks man!😊

[@cd-jk4rh]

randomly stopped talking to me after I looked at a random picture message of the ground and i didnet reply cause I was at the gym, instantly replies goes great your not talking to me now fantastic, never read or replied to anything i said after that, she checked my story the other day tho,

[@chony19]

Should I try contacting my ex after a 4months period of no contact? Am not sure if he is trying to get attention, I noticed that once I come online, he in a matter of seconds, posts something that stay at the top of the feed in WhatsApp. I thought this was a coincidence, but considering this has happened over 5x, am beginning to feel he is trying to communicate something

[@tioswift3676]

No

[@princesyx]

Question : we had good contact , and when she suddenly had a new bf i wished her the best and did go into no contact and told her when she called that I have no time. She deleted my number now and stuff. Even tho she said sorry and did not want to hurt me , that’s why she did not told me about the new . Can i Reatract a person who is mad and deleted my number ?

[@bluharris9645]

i agree its true but what if your ex reach out everything going good they dancing beside you. Until they get ready to get a car which is good. But they say its your fault because you tell the car owner that you cant tell me that i cant get in the car when you both are test driving.

[@lindahumphreys6485]

Me and my Ex was on a break for 2 and a half months.Before he finally finished with me. Will no contact work in this situation. As he knows what is it like not to have me in his life. We have been on and off for four years. I'm the one that always chase after him. Even when lm blocked. I'm blocked again however l sent loads of emails to his work email address. But no response. I emailed last week basically saying im sorry goodbye.l will not contact you again. Nothing. In the past l have done NC for 3mths, 6mths and 10mths.lm the one that reaches out. Help me

[@Thomas-hu6xx]

But he never really lost you on the break as he knew you was waiting. No more goodbyes just think to yourself they are gone. Live life accordingly. Then he may one back when he experiences true absence

[@J2_wyaa]

Can I get a 1 on 1 with you so u can help me

[@Maskedman2001]

what if she blocked me everywhere then after 3 days she said that se didnt change her mind but she loves me unconditionally and 'I hope you are feeling better than me:)''

[@devinferrell1843]

Do I block them or keep my line open ?

[@sylviasmith4533]

What if you are married and have to stay livng with them

[@hypinitup]

Isnt a guy thing to plan dates, but she broke up with me?

[@saurabh8618]

What if she is about to marry someone else in two months? Still is it recommended to follow no contact?

[@Danny344S]

That’s game over you need to move on

[@saurabh8618]

@@Danny344S do they try coming back after marriage?

[@lyndeboi9]

@@saurabh8618can happen but seems like they enjoy eachother so might not be the case, good luck dude.

[@lizannescheffers2304]

No contact still applies

[@Danny344S]

@@saurabh8618 no man once a woman is over you she is done with you in her eyes your just another mistake/loser she dated she doesn’t care about you and moved on I know the feeling so stay strong work on yourself and improve yourself then flex as hard as you can after you regain yourself I know the feeling of loss and losing the perfect woman

[@ariellethomas-be1qz]

My ex contacted me after 2 months. She called but I was asleep. Should I call back or text.?

[@chuckatlas5829]

bro. go log off lol

[@BerryBlondaewithADHD]

I would call back, since she reached out

[@timothymurray1236]

Dude, sort out your mic. Great content though.

[@tawanarobinson3355]

Mine invited me to his baby shower with the girl he left me for… that was the only contact he made… like WTF…🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️

[@blackcarriebradshaw]

Im so sorry that happened to you. ❤️‍🩹

[@juricpro]

He was trying to get under your skin...

[@brawnyhobgoblin2697]

No contact doesn't work

[@TanjaMacyyy]

it does😂

[@dpwood420]

What do you do if you ex broke up with their rebound or person after we split, then started coming back around telling me she still loves me and was flirting, kissing me, hanging out at the house and shit. Now she's gone cold and seems to be getting back with the rebound. She's been staying there the past few nights. We were together 15yrs and been split up a year now.

[@Gary_Winthorpe]

Get rid of her bro… I’m trying to get my ex back but that’s bullshit

[@ryanandrews321]

I’m all for getting an ex back but not if it involves a third party bro

[@adgrizzard86]

Rebounds fails most of the time tho.

[@rulonjjj]

She left….she is dead to me. Too bad we had kids together.

[@jeannineaskins1490]

Does the amount of time that they away matter

[@ingavuk2063]

Even if he has a another person

[@MrMpm3001]

Yes, the quicker they jump to another the better. It shows how much you emotionally impacted them and they are trying to ease emotion and discomfort with another. Rebound relationships almost ALWAYS FAIL!

[@adgrizzard86]

Rebound fail most of the time!!

[@italiancapo7]

Bro, they 99% of the time never come back especially when they are the ones who left & dumped you.

[@ashang7072]

Bjj

[@denniswelch6732]

Goi g on 3 years and she moved 3 states away ! So I don’t look for anythjng anymore ! But the lst month she has send snap chat everyday which I never open any of them ! She cheated not me ! So I am good !

[@justinyourdm1738]

After my break up she decided to end it saying she needs space and time of course when she did that I chased so much, opened my heart, sent long messages trying to get her back. Spam text her. Spam called her etc I went about a month of NC then broke it thinking maybe she’ll text me back so I texted her “Hey id love to be able to catch up with you one day and talk to you maybe some Starbucks or cold stone can do the trick, no pressure I’m not trying to twist your arm into anything.” She didn’t respond. It’s been two weeks since I’ve been NC again. It’s been very struggling since I loved this girl to death. I wasn’t perfect or she wasn’t perfect. We both had our flaws and issues. I still love her to death but ever since I’ve been NC I’ve been getting happier and happier focusing on myself and my goals and hobbies. I’m starting school back in may. I was to needy and clingy. I’ve noticed all she wanted was to hang out with friends and do what she wanted without me getting mad or upset. I’d be to jealous especially when she chose her friends more than me. Now that I see that I’ve changed my mindset and have been focusing on gathering myself together mentally. She hasn’t said a word to me since March 8, 2023 and that was saying “move on”.

[@leanmachine3251]

I’m shamed to admit I’m thinking about texting my ex, we broke up and I Can’t stop thinking about her even our last conversation she told me she lost love respect and trust Towards me, I hate myself