20 PERSONAL BOUNDARIES for your MENTAL HEALTH!!! - (Episode 184)

[@msmeeks8039]

Just like October was a month to recover thanks to Sober October, I’m making November (NO)vember. This is the month I’m learning how to say NO!

[@GettingSoberAgain]

SAY NO NOVEMBER!! I like the sound of THAT!

[@bethmathews8465]

Love this!

[@peachesandpoets]

Love it

[@fruitascension5089]

If someone says "You used to be more fun when you drank" to me, I say "You used to be more fun, and interesting when I drank!" 😂. This video was GREAT. Thank you Jae!!

[@GettingSoberAgain]

I've said that myself 😂

[@The_Travelling_Tradesman]

Truth!

[@Joe_Joe_The_HvacMan]

I have been to two events with all food and alcohol paid for and I said no to alcohol and still had a great time! 14 days sober and love it!

[@GettingSoberAgain]

Wowowowwwww the Achilles heel of all drinkers: FREE BOOZE You're really doing the damn thing Joey!

[@Cheryl-RD-Emeritus]

This is one of my favorites of Jai's videos.I think I'll watch it a few more times. I wish I'd seen this 40 years ago!

[@GettingSoberAgain]

Jae approves of this comment ✅

[@gregorywandersaround6178]

I must bookmark this video. Thanks so much!

[@GettingSoberAgain]

I really enjoyed making it. thank you for putting the wind in my sails!

[@Diluteit]

“The magic that you’re looking for is in the work that you’re avoiding.” Dude, that one just blew my little mind. Thank you.

[@GettingSoberAgain]

A quote for the ages!😁

[@jeffreyjohnmann]

I am 55 days alcohol-free today! This post really spoke to me, I have never really thought about this kind of thing at all. You have given me a lot to consider...

[@GettingSoberAgain]

There are so many different facets of self improvement. Sobriety is a single card in the deck, but for a lot of US, it's the first one to play, to let you WIN the game!

[@cluckingbell1522]

@@GettingSoberAgain hmm.. A lot to think about and realize. Im trying to 'Get Sober...Again'. Yup! Again*kt*x

[@cheryl1332]

I’m ready to set personal boundaries! Day 41 Definetely worried and stressing about the holidays. I always drink way more leading up to them.

[@GettingSoberAgain]

What are some strategies that will help you stay determined not to drink?

[@cheryl1332]

@@GettingSoberAgain That’s a good question lol. I’m going to continue to read sober books, watch sober you tube and try to not try and have everything be perfect. Just go with the flow.

[@cheryl1332]

@@GettingSoberAgain and protect my energy somehow..

[@gwillis01]

@@cheryl1332 Learn to be strong enough to say NO Not everybody [ deserves ] the gift of you being there in person.

[@mattjohn4731]

Holidays are triggering for me. So I don't plan for them like they're a big to-do. I just plan to survive them. I'm single so I often do nothing on Xmas, maybe go out and give snacks to poor folks on the streets. Maybe consume some weed but NO alcohol ✌️🕊️💪♥️

[@_thisiswhatyouwanted_]

Gonna be 2 weeks sober Monday night. Your wisdom has been helping a lot. Started working out again, drinking a bunch of water, eating better. I’ve been cutting back and practicing sobriety for weeks before deciding to quit altogether. Thanks dawg

[@jeffreyjohnmann]

Sounds like you are off to a great start, keep it going my friend!!

[@GettingSoberAgain]

My pleasure! I'm happy to hear more progress from you along your journey my G

[@JaeAndres]

I certainly have more SELF RESPECT since starting establishing MORE PERSONAL BOUNDARIES!

[@colinrussell2017]

"If don't respect yourself, how care you expect anyone else to?" Don't know where I heard that but it's a keeper!

[@Bingo12331]

I’m retired and think I took on too much activity post retirement. I’ve just told the various people/organisations I volunteer for or work with I’m taking time out to work on my own development. It feels good! Lots of other great pointers here, thanks Jae! Edit: OMG that “you’re more fun when you’ve had a drink” has hooked me back into drinking more than once. After all, who wants to be “boring”?

[@GettingSoberAgain]

They'll get ya if you're not prepared to stick up for yourself, won't they? 😇

[@colinrussell2017]

"You're more fun why you've had a drink." Some guilt-trip manipulation there for sure! PASS!

[@grundgesetzart.1463]

Thank you for the video and the practical advice! I found a good answer if someone offers me alcohol: "No thanks! At the moment, I'm not drinking". For how long this "moment" lasts, is up to me. But usually they don't ask again. all the best to you! You cannot imagine how much you are helping me - and many others.

[@GettingSoberAgain]

@@grundgesetzart.1463 🫡Happy to help🫂

[@leeandrew9148]

Thanks for such a comprehensive lesson!! I learned a very important lesson I'd like to share.... In failing to recognize my own value, I set myself up for people-pleasing/co-dependent behavior. I sacrificed my own boundaries (lit myself on fire to keep other people warm), and doomed myself and the people I wanted to take care of to feeling my resentment. That resentment led to drinking and the drinking led to self recriminations and even more undervaluing myself... And the cycle continued. Healthy boundaries are a balance of my own needs and the needs of others. In honoring my boundaries, I PROTECT MY LOVED ONES from my resentment. The Golden Rule really should be: "Do unto yourself as you would have others do unto you".

[@GettingSoberAgain]

POWERFUL MESSAGE!!! 🗣️🙏

[@juliacoggins7292]

Day 40 for me, excited to enjoy the holidays sober for the first time in years!

[@GettingSoberAgain]

Being present is a present! 🎁

[@gwillis01]

Congratulations on forty days. Keep up the good work.

[@juliacoggins7292]

​@GettingSoberAgain thanks again for this channel, initially I was just going to do sober October and be done with sobriety, but I have seen how much better life is without alcohol thanks to your channel, and I'm planning to keep going for at least a year!!

[@GettingSoberAgain]

@@juliacoggins7292 Wahoooooo!!! I'm stoked you are feeling pumped. There are so many big milestones coming up. If you make it through the holiday season, you're going to graduate onto superbowl, Valentine's, st.paddys, then you're flying into spring limitless!!!

[@juliacoggins7292]

@@GettingSoberAgain thanks for the encouragement:) I've lived in the UK for a few years so I haven't celebrated Thanksgiving in a while so not too worried about that, but Christmas may be tough to get through.

[@mattjohn4731]

I'm ready to set personal boundaries 👍🕊️

[@GettingSoberAgain]

💪💪💪

[@BeckyValkyrie]

On Day 9 of my sobriety journey and I'm ready to set personal boundaries! Luckily most of the people in my life don't drink, but some of them do come with their own brand of drama. I'm definitely limiting my exposure to family events these upcoming months while focusing on getting my daily routines locked in.

[@GettingSoberAgain]

That's how it's done!! Be the captain of your OWN ship!

[@BeckyValkyrie]

​@@GettingSoberAgaintook your advice and watched this one again today. It's interesting how some of these didn't really apply on day 9 versus today on day 24. (Or maybe I was still in a bit of a fog and didn't really absorb it all the first time around!) But I definitely see areas that need to be locked down in order to deal with all the ups and downs of sobriety. Thanks so much for the recommendation in your last comment. It really helped! 🙏🏻❤️

[@Jahmon-ew1wr]

Setting personal boundaries for me has been a challenge as conflict is stressful but certain things can be a lot more stressful undealt with. One time for example an acquaintance decided in his head that I was going to meet him in a certain place at a certain time despite me telling him otherwise. Then when I didn't show up I just told him straight that he'd just made that decision without discussing it. After that he decided to cut me off but I didn't let him get too comfortable. Had I have known him for longer he could have turned nasty but I spotted the red flags. Another time I lent a neighbour £10 which he didn't pay back. I texted him as a reminder but since he didn't reply I cut him off. By doing this you're not being insulting or abusive but at the same time you're expressing self worth and showing them that this kind of behaviour won't be tolerated.

[@jeffreyjohnmann]

Great video, really gives me so many things to work on. The idea that getting sober fits into a larger framework of self-improvement and self-care is blowing my mind today!

[@GettingSoberAgain]

If we don't care for ourselves, who's job is it? 🤷

[@benjamintrahin9571]

3 weeks today!!! This time feels different. And I owe so much to this channel. THANK YOU

[@GettingSoberAgain]

We only have a finite amount of time, so it's always advisable to use it as wisely as possible ⏳

[@gwillis01]

Congrats on three weeks of sobriety. Keep up the good work.

[@jeffreyjohnmann]

Keep it going buddy!!!!

[@benjamintrahin9571]

@@gwillis01 thank you so much

[@benjamintrahin9571]

@@jeffreyjohnmann I'm going to! Thank u!!

[@Aquila26420]

Day 2, Baby steps, but going forward 🎉

[@GettingSoberAgain]

Baby steps are better than no steps! 🐾

[@MegaShankie]

GM - Day 11, I can’t believe it’s been 11 days! Jae is awesome 🎉

[@GettingSoberAgain]

Aww shucks! Keep up the good fight!

[@WayneMurray-ys1rv]

Hey gday i am new to this but rely want to be sober and also set personal boundries too

[@GettingSoberAgain]

What personal boundaries do you need to work on most?

[@WayneMurray-ys1rv]

I would like to set where i allow anything to happnening and i lose controle of my selfie and allow things to happen and i have no controle but keep loseing

[@TheBman1369]

This video was an eye opener, especially points 1 & 2. I used to be that guy. I used to take pride in making my own decisions and going my own way. Somewhere along the line I lost that confidence and started to lean on the "comfort" and companionship that alcohol brought me. Not sure where exactly that change ocurred or why, but I need to find the old me. It'll be something I bring up in my next therapy session. This video was very though provoking and enlightening for me. Thank you.

[@GettingSoberAgain]

Another 💡has turned on in the world!! Time to let your light shine my friend :) Maybe pass along the channel to your therapist and they can recommend it to others as a sobriety channel? That would be a huge blessing for so many 🤩

[@Kristy1944]

Thanks for the continuous motivation to fix the things (or get rid of the problem people in my life) that have pushed me to become an alcoholic. It is definitely a process but the first step is admitting there is a problem and discovering why there is one.

[@GettingSoberAgain]

Self discovery is the key to unlocking the secrets that we have been missing out on =)

[@MrsGistrending1]

I’m ready to set personal boundaries

[@GettingSoberAgain]

✋

[@daverobbins1579]

My ex work partner was a vampire, setting personal boundaries is key, my fiance is a heavy drinker, we don't live together, and spend alot of time apart, it's gonna be a big change when I say no to having drinks on the weekends, it always turned out bad anyway when we did, I have no problem saying no I'm good thanks. Great video Jae I'm diffently gonna watch this a few times, I'm ready to set personal boundaries....

[@GettingSoberAgain]

Remember, Practice MAKES PROGRESS!

[@gwillis01]

Most of the time, drinking gets worse and escalates over time. Could you handle it if your romantic partner started drinking thirty percent more alcohol?

[@McGnarly76]

Thank you, Jae. What you do is so impactful for countless people, including myself. I’m two months sober and have immense gratitude to you for helping to keep me grounded, focused and hopeful.

[@GettingSoberAgain]

The goal is simple, be who I needed when I wasn't strong. If we all follow that motto, wonderful things will happen for us and many others!

[@chillclips7261]

I am ready to set personal boundaries!! The holidays were always hard for me, but now that I am sober, I always deal with stress so much easier!

[@GettingSoberAgain]

You and me both 🎯

[@benjoekenobi]

@gettingsoberagain Do you think a sip of beer that i spat out counts as breaking sobriety, i picked it up misplacing as a lemonade it was a tiny sip of 4% beer which i didnt swallow ajd spat out instantly i just want to know it wont have affected me

[@GettingSoberAgain]

@@benjoekenobi I think you're good, and earned a bonus point for transparency lol. Enjoy the lemonade!

[@benjoekenobi]

@@GettingSoberAgain thanks mate I felt sick after I spat it out I think that's because mentally I'm so against alcohol now it made me feel that way, I never want to drink again life is enjoyable without that poison, thanks for the reassurance

[@amelianac6498]

My partner can be can energy vampire especially with his mother next door. I'm switching to night shift as part of my sobriety journey. btw. got those liquid vitamins... wow!

[@GettingSoberAgain]

Which liquid vitamins did you get???

[@amelianac6498]

Alive complete liquid multivitamin max potency. I take half a serving@@GettingSoberAgain

[@susanmariemulderrig8410]

This video has helped me to see that I am on the right path regarding boundaries..thank you!!

[@GettingSoberAgain]

We become blind over the years and at times desperate for company... sometimes at the expense of our own health: to leave, physically, spiritually, emotionally, and financially. sometimes all we need to do is a little pruning in our own life to make sure that we have the growth that we deserve!

[@dandtintennessee7675]

Yes.. all good points. Sometimes it's difficult not to argue with people online but I discovered it's much easier to just to hit the block button and let their problems be their problems 🙂. And you know.. there's no better escape for me than to go into the studio and record for a couple of hours. Maybe I need to commit to doing this every day or every other day at least. Maybe I can finish those 30 songs I've halfway started ...lol.. Great video.

[@GettingSoberAgain]

I've had to practice discipline plenty in the comments myself. it's certainly easier to just ignore and or block, especially when people are acting toxic! Ah, beautiful music! No sense in letting it sit around unfinished right? I'm happy to hear that you're going to work on removing the creative obstacles, and put the pedal to the metal!

[@MrHandy-nr5hi]

My Father is an energy vampire!

[@GettingSoberAgain]

🦹🦇🙃

[@joko09010]

My ex-husband was an emotional vampire. That’s why he’s my EX.

[@martyolson9433]

New member here! Im ready to set personal boundaries!!!

[@GettingSoberAgain]

Which ones stood out for you most?

[@martyolson9433]

​@GettingSoberAgain the one where if your partner doesn't want to get up early for a walk because she or he is hungover, get up and go alone. My biggest struggle right now is at home.

[@rdsunshine34741]

I struggle so much with expressing discomfort!!! Working on it though, as it can be a toxic trait in itself

[@GettingSoberAgain]

Practice practice practice 😉

[@gwillis01]

Remember that your desires and needs are just as valid as anyone else's. You deserve to have your opinions and feelings heard and appreciated.

[@T.K.111]

Great content, Jae! I miss the livestreams but I can see how much you're flourishing. So proud to see how much you have accomplished. Peace ✌

[@GettingSoberAgain]

😁I decided to use those Sunday nights to work on new scripts! I'm happy Everytime to read your comments TK, thank you for saying hello. Sam says "HIIIIIIII TK!!!!!!!"

[@bramblebear3121]

More great advice. Going low contact/using the gray rock approach started my recovery. I had seven weeks of sobriety--still do--but my latest slip a few days ago, was because tending boundaries can be exhausting, dealing with family who are relentless trying to be enmeshed. I'm back on track with no contact 🥰

[@GettingSoberAgain]

You can contact me anytime 😉

[@derekhath380]

Thanks Jae! Great video. 👍 boundaries are the single newest important talent that I am learning and practicing in sobriety.

[@GettingSoberAgain]

You deserve to be respected 😉

[@Robostomp]

Maaan, personal boundaries is my way of life. It seems to me people suppose I'm a crazy sociopath or conceited sometimes. That's why binge drinking wasn't something that had to do with my social life. But yeah, sometimes people freak out when I order tea or coffee or water instead of beer or wine, still, luckily, I haven't had an episode of pressure or anything. Everything is enjoyable with the right people and/or with the set purpose. Haven't had such a blast playing concerts with well-prepared set!🥳

[@GettingSoberAgain]

It's interesting how those type of people have highly developed gaslighting tools to make you lower yourself worth, isn't it? once you know your own value and the cards that you're holding, any rational or sane person would never just give it away!

[@Joe_Joe_The_HvacMan]

Hey brother, you also help me stay on the treadmill watching two of your videos!

[@GettingSoberAgain]

This was a great one to watch! might need to watch it 5 more times and take notes!

[@livestreammoderator6351]

👏👏👏 Congratulations on another great video! This community is amazing and I love seeing everyone's personal growth 😮

[@GettingSoberAgain]

It's been amazing to witness so many people with such amazing sobriety streaks now compared to just a few years ago!

[@david6920-r6z]

Speak up. Love it. I did some leadership training recently that was all about being honest and brave 🇺🇸 🇳🇿

[@GettingSoberAgain]

That's awesome! I bet the community here in the comments could benefit from some of your knowledge! feel free to share some tips

[@locdloaded2378]

Day 31 & going 🎉 thanks for the support & content

[@GettingSoberAgain]

Say it LOUD!!! 🗣️🗣️🗣️

[@gwillis01]

Congrats on your long sobriety streak. Keep up the good work.

[@jorgeloya6420]

Thanks so much for the information man I appreciate you and the community as well..🎉🎉

[@GettingSoberAgain]

@@jorgeloya6420 Have an awesome weekend 🫵

[@amelianac6498]

You give great life advice. Sure it is directed at our sobriety journey... but this is LIFE advice. Thank You.

[@GettingSoberAgain]

I try to mix it up as sobriety isn't the singular answer to our happiness. Thank you for the positivity!

[@fruitascension5089]

I agree! It addresses underlying root causes of what may have led us to use alcohol habitually in the first place.

[@GettingSoberAgain]

@@fruitascension5089 🫡💪💅

[@patrickpatterson96]

Thanks again Jai. Every time I check in, I'm rewarded. Much appreciated.

[@GettingSoberAgain]

My pleasure! Call me Jae 😉

[@patrickpatterson96]

Oops, my typo Jae. Apologies.

[@SS-bx3bx]

This video was exactly what I needed to hear today, having a really tough/bad day, it helped me a lot. Thank you.

[@GettingSoberAgain]

Always happy to help! Don't forget, a video a day keeps the cravings away! Click here to watch our NEWEST videos on sobriety! kzbin.info/aero/PLddHUddS-QQjIYyRNl-E3bkOiEWWIZtEt

[@robertmason6366]

Love this. Especially gossip!

[@GettingSoberAgain]

Well aren't you just a comment machine today 🫂

[@meganjones6830]

Love, love, LOVE this list!! Thanks !!

[@GettingSoberAgain]

🥰🥰🥰 I thought it was pretty good too 😁

[@laceyrushworth9823]

Loved this video! I'm on day 2 of what's hopefully a month of no drinking

[@GettingSoberAgain]

What's it gonna take to change "hopefully" into "certainly"? 😉

[@laceyrushworth9823]

I certainly will try! Haha I just gotta get past the weekends somehow. I'm staying home! I started a new diet and exercising as well :)

[@colinrussell2017]

​@@laceyrushworth9823Make a plan for that down time. Boredom creates a void that is easily filled by drinking (or smoking, or potato chips) Book something for that time before booze books itself in for you Best wishes!

[@gwillis01]

Make a serious commitment to strive as hard as possible to improve yourself. Congrats on embracing sobriety.

[@laceyrushworth9823]

@@gwillis01 thank you so much

[@nancydevlin65]

Just on the off chance you get this, Jae, I'm watching a Christmas movie (I'm a bit of a fan) called Where Are You, Christmas, and I tell you, that car mechanic Hunter is your spitting image! Honestly! ❤

[@GettingSoberAgain]

I always get your messages lol. I don't put my phone down.

[@nancydevlin65]

@@GettingSoberAgain yeu telling us you're a FOMO? Swapped one addiction for another? Only kidding.....

[@vala1277]

So true. For me, learning to set boundaries has been the key because I was drinking away the negative emotions i got from not setting boundaries. Once I started setting boundaries, things really got better for me.

[@GettingSoberAgain]

Proof!

[@The_Travelling_Tradesman]

Great video! Uncle Larry lol

[@toniburdine1393]

November theough february is really haed for me since losing my mom. So i choose to quit the first of january. Not too smart but already thinking of ways to stay away of alcohol. Refusing to give in!

[@SamEspen]

Setting personal boundaries is one of my weak points. But I'm learning everyday! Fantastic video thank you for so much insight!

[@GettingSoberAgain]

Thank you for approving of the sneak peek 🙏

[@Tahitison]

Great video once again, definitely can relate to a lot of what you mentioned in this video. Thank you for the great advice - Day 9 let's gooo

[@GettingSoberAgain]

LETS GOOOOOO!!!

[@fruitascension5089]

Don't say "That's okay", when it ISN'T okay. I have learned that the habit of saying "That's okay" when someone apologizes for a behavior or treatment that I don't want repeated, gives the wrong message, and doesn't contribute to well-defined boundary-keeping.

[@GettingSoberAgain]

Another GREAT lesson for the list!! Thank you 🙏

[@CCTH-86]

Thank you so much, Jae!!!!!

[@GettingSoberAgain]

💜💜💜 Happy Birthday my friend!!! 💜💜💜

[@gianniy]

This video is great, thanks Jae

[@GettingSoberAgain]

What are some personal boundaries that you think you could implement moving forward?

[@gwillis01]

"You teach people how to treat you". said the famous counselor who has appeared on tv a million times. In other words, if you tolerate emotional crap and other mental trash being dumped on you, it will happen over and over. If you say "That is not acceptable. Say that thought another way " you have signaled that you want to be spoken to in a more polite, respectful way. The other person may think that you are too timid and scared to reject their rudeness. Prove them wrong.

[@GettingSoberAgain]

Well said

[@djkatfishbeats]

Great 👍 info

[@GettingSoberAgain]

Glad it was helpful! Click here to BINGE WATCH more of our videos! kzbin.info/aero/PLddHUddS-QQjIYyRNl-E3bkOiEWWIZtEt

[@robtiger]

I’m trying thank you for your help

[@GettingSoberAgain]

It's all practice! 😉

[@robtiger]

@@GettingSoberAgain I think you’re going to be the one that makes a difference for me because it’s like I’m talking into the mirror

[@GG7GodsGrace]

Love you sir❤

[@GettingSoberAgain]

You nice on me 🥰🥰🥰

[@GG7GodsGrace]

@@GettingSoberAgain nice on me? What does that mean exactly?

[@breakupcoacherica]

Great video, thanks! ❤

[@GettingSoberAgain]

What were your favorite 3 boundaries? =)

[@breakupcoacherica]

@@GettingSoberAgainself care and not letting drunk people trauma-dump 😅

[@catylytica]

Brilliant!

[@GettingSoberAgain]

My friend!!!! There you are 🥰🥰🥰

[@catylytica]

@@GettingSoberAgain and I'm glad you're always here!! I've changed my relationship with booze quite significantly and enjoy popping in every so often for some positive reminders 🤘😊🤘

[@tracypo7234]

Someone told me that they were insulted that I wouldn't hang out with them, bc I didn't want to go to the bar. That kind of pressure is very difficult to those who are people pleasers. Can we all sing "Toxicity" by System of A Down now?

[@GettingSoberAgain]

🎵You, what do you own the world? How do you own disorder? Disorder Now somewhere between the sacred silence Sacred silence and sleep Somewhere between the sacred silence and sleep Disorder, disorder, disorder 🎵

[@tracypo7234]

@@GettingSoberAgain 🎵 When I become the sun...!!!🎵

[@CCTH-86]

@@GettingSoberAgain *headbanging* (my hair's pretty long. lolz!!!) 🎸🎸🎸🎸🤘🏾🤘🏾🤘🏾🤘🏾

[@gwillis01]

hello Jae

[@GettingSoberAgain]

hello

[@grundgesetzart.1463]

19:22..."the most important relationship is with yourself...and God". Had to add that, please excuse me.

[@GettingSoberAgain]

Nice add 😉

[@BobShay-jf4vf]

12:24 My sobriety has now shown me that my girlfriend & I are so done...isn't that ironic 🤨...as a footnote, I'm editing this post to say that she is a straight up Energy Vampire and has been intent on derailing my sobriety as well as disrespecting my adult daughter when she visits me (now that I'm sober.) Needless to say, my new personal boundry is ignoring my girlfriend until I soon move out of her apartment.

[@GettingSoberAgain]

FEEL the POWER of personal boundaries!!!

[@Beh0ldas0n]

Thanks for the 💎💎💎

[@GettingSoberAgain]

I'm happy to be able to provide 💪💪💪

[@BobShay-jf4vf]

Keep a low profile in early sobriety...people can and will use your shortcomings against you 😉

[@rw3080]

This channel is golden! ❤

[@rw3080]

❤

[@AntonLt]

I'm ready to set personal boundaries