Girls and Women and Autism: What’s the difference? - Sarah Hendrickx

Video by Lexica Films - www.lexicafilms.co.uk
Camera Operators & Editors:
Alex Carter & Nate Kiley
Music:
Starry - Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
creativecommons.org/licenses/b...

[@talullahtheegyptianbaladyd4388]

Thats crazy, she just said exactly what my dad always told me: "how can you be this smart and this stupid at the same time?"

[@Jen.K]

I was always told that I was smart, but had no common sense....in a blaming kind of way.

[@talullahtheegyptianbaladyd4388]

@@Jen.K yeah it was always in a blaming tone of voice from his side as well. It always confused me, i didnt really understand what he meant until my diagnoses.

[@TLhky98]

A friend once told me that I was the stupidest smart person he knows. He meant well....I think.

[@AnnaYV]

Same :(

[@Anastashya]

wag 'n'walk Same.

[@MrYianiz]

The best way I could describe it is that. someone is stepping on your foot and you dont know how to communicate that is happening. So you sort of learn to live a life with a people constantly stepping on your foot.

[@iamqtpie2825]

That's actually a good way to put it. As a kid I was in the literal situation you describe, and I never knew what to say to make it stop, so I actually put up with a "friend" stepping on my foot repeatedly for months (a year?). My toenail even became deformed and took years to grow back normally again. In fact, I don't know why he stopped, since I never complained or said anything at all about it to him. I never got my autism diagnosis until adulthood, though.

[@oldepersonne]

"When somebody cancels on you, that's fine" Yes, total relief

[@screamingminnow920]

jan cam relief except when it’s that one person ha

[@siriolsen7805]

Anyone with symptoms could look into heavy metals being an underlying issue, as autism spectrum is often caused by mercury toxicity. I would really recommend anyone who want to look into the Andrew Cutler Protocol. This is the ONLY safe protocol to this date, eating things like chlorella and cilantro has made people very very sick. Please read the child recovering stories by googling "andy cutler success stories child" and the adult ones by googling "andy cutler success stories adult" and google"andy cutler rebecca rust lee weston price" for a great article about mercury toxicity and the protocol. But the best place to learn and get support is trough the Facebook group «Andy Cutler Chelation: Safe Mercury and Heavy Metal Detox». Wish you he best!

[@screamingminnow920]

Siri Olsen your reply feels really random did you comment on the wrong thing?

[@Harriemes]

Or when you have to call somebody you haven't seen in a long time, to ask them how they're doing but they don't answer the phone: dream come true!

[@errorASMR]

..If theres anyone out here who can relate to this video, I'm on twitter @gollyumami always looking for like minds..in a sea of people who just don't get me..

[@carol-lynneodriscoll4604]

This speaker is freaking amazing! I did a lot of research and she just resume the whole thing in just over an hour and 15 minutes. Seriously, there is no bull**it, no smoke and mirrors, no candy-coating and at the same time covers all aspects of the particularity in the differences between both sexes. Can we give her an award? Because she deserves it, big time!

[@mercypk972]

Yes I agree with you! This was very well put together and delivered.

[@G-II44477]

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@l1ncs]

This is quite normal for someone (an Autistic) that knows what they are talking about.

[@elidona]

She described me to a tee. I don't know what to do with this new insight.

[@lobbinwood]

@@elidona go to a specialist to get a diagnosis if possible!

[@splendor666]

I'm a 33yo gay man, I came here trying to find some answers about my mom's neuroatypical behaviour then a I find some answers about my own behaviour. I loved this talk.

[@xyzyzx1253]

Hello fellow androgynous beautiful person!

[@madeleinehenricsson226]

It's so revealing to listen to her and see that another woman have the same behavior that I have. I'm soo thankful that she lift the greyzone between different gender and that many is undiscovered 'cause the professionals are ridgid in their mind and knowledge about it.

[@mle9852]

"Why would I invite anyone to go shopping?" I hate shopping. It's exhausting. I also get over whelmed making decisions. I've gotten better at that. I know not to go to grocery store when its crowded.

[@siriolsen7805]

Anyone with symptoms could look into heavy metals being an underlying issue, as autism spectrum is often caused by mercury toxicity. I would really recommend anyone who want to look into the Andrew Cutler Protocol. This is the ONLY safe protocol to this date, eating things like chlorella and cilantro has made people very very sick. Please read the child recovering stories by googling "andy cutler success stories child" and the adult ones by googling "andy cutler success stories adult" and google"andy cutler rebecca rust lee weston price" for a great article about mercury toxicity and the protocol. But the best place to learn and get support is trough the Facebook group «Andy Cutler Chelation: Safe Mercury and Heavy Metal Detox». Wish you he best!

[@thearobertson9880]

@@siriolsen7805 What evidence do you have that "autism spectrum is often caused by mercury toxicity"?

[@DebNKY]

It's so interesting, because I get so overwhelmed when in the shops! I truly enjoy it, but I'm sure I'm really funny to watch, lol!

[@TomTom-df9ph]

Deb NKY one more LOL and I will go on a meltdown.

[@DebNKY]

@@TomTom-df9ph lol?

[@barbaramoran8690]

Autism diagnoses at age 40 was like having my sins forgiven and and then my sensory issues became real to others .

[@saskialawler6337]

This is a really embarrassing question to ask, but do any of you other ladies have like a fantasy world that you escape to? Where you act out scenarios and make up dialogue for more each character..almost like a mini movie..? Maybe I do this because I'm lonely but this video rings so true for me.

[@faolen1]

I am not diagnosed, but am going to be evaluated. I definitely do this so so much. Basically my entire day I am just in my head making up scenarios and characters. It even helps me sometimes to do something i dont want to if I pretend I'm one of those characters (not outwardly acting as them of course only in my head).

[@saskialawler6337]

faolen1 Thanks for the reply.

[@schonlingg.wunderbar2985]

Yes, it is very common for people in general to have this kind of hypothetical thinking. Most people think about stuff. 😉

[@Harriemes]

When I go to bed at night I almost always start with having complex discussions with imaginary people, untill I fall asleep. I'm alone too.

[@shahana_style]

Yes. It's wonderful. Of course on the negative side: I also have entire conversations in my head in just about every possible combination of outcomes, to the point where I don't bother having some conversations with people because I know what they're going to say already. That's very bad but I feel like it's a waste of time so I just skip it. I try to catch myself so I don't do that to people, but it's exhausting having those conversations.

[@snoeleppard]

1:06:56 “I got a new handbag!” “That’s.. nice.... How many pockets does it have?” Literally me any time someone shows me a new bag. The first thing I ask is how many pockets it has and I have to see for myself the size and variety of the pockets. 😂

[@crescendo2441]

I so don't understand women's fascination with shoes and handbags and spending hundreds/ thousands of dollars on them. And I'm a woman. To me these things are utilitarian tools and I just don't get their fashion accessory status.

[@isobelb]

@@crescendo2441 I understand it as being the patriarchal view of women value us from our appearance, so "shoe girls" are investing in their perceived value. (Or maybe I just don't get it and they actually love shoes just as much as some children love dinosaurs.)

[@crescendo2441]

@@isobelb Oh I never thought of it like that, maybe you are onto something.

[@ellislegg3937]

Snoe Leppard Yaaaaaas 🤓

[@tehrinny7031]

Does it have pockets? Is it SHINY? Oh you paid $400 for a brown bag with some letters on it. There's not even a cool cartoon character on it?

[@Trouble_Butt]

The tale of the girl with the straight hair in the hoodie and her glamorous mother wanting her to be pretty and make friends... I am that girl. Thank you for talking about her. I don't feel alone anymore.

[@dianenlc8284]

This is the best presentation on female autism I have seen to date - well worth watching - Brilliant!

[@OGimouse1]

I am nearly in tears. I feel so much relief someone has the words.

[@kerrysmiles]

Agreed

[@joycemelo88]

I feel the same way! I almost cried a few times while watching, because someone was finally putting in words the way I feel, act or see the world. I have been watching to autism on women videos for a few months now and it seems that I'm finally getting some answers. Maybe it's time to find a professional to help me figure it out.

[@pitbullsandhorses]

The only thing I don't identify with is "not understanding" or "desiring" the same type and level of connection as neurotypicals. I get it, and I want it desperately. Its just seemingly impossible to get there.

[@jasminflower3814]

You can desire all you like Genena, it is best to accept what you can do for yourself, instead of comparing yourself to neurotypicals and their achievements. You can't be a ball if you are a brick. lol I am not making fun of you, just trying to help you. I am the same as you, except much older. ;-)

[@akumaplantstudios8869]

@@jasminflower3814 "You can't be a ball if you're a brick". That's a good way to look at it. Did you ever play "Breakout" as a kid by any chance? :D

[@beebee3333]

Geneva leon, I feel the same way and I am in my late 50s. It's galling and saddening to have to accept that I can't have a fun circle of friends with whom to share a connection and some laughs, but the most solace I have found is in that acceptance, within my own mind, in accepting how things are and feeling at peace with that. That said, it is possible to find that connection with one person, one's partner, so you don't have to be alone with no connection. However, I think that if therapists had listened to me when I told them I didn't know how to interact with people, instead of assuming that I needed reassurance, they could have taught me how to go about it. But they never did. It may not be too late for you to learn how to do it.

[@rita7070]

just connect with other autistics. I can try to help you out if you need it

[@BeckBeckGo]

I want desperately to want it. I know it's not healthy if one doesn't have it. But I really can't abide by much of that. The desire isn't there. It never was.

[@demoraatz]

I recognize a lot ( being also diagnosed with (high functioning) autism), yet I don't recognize the not understanding of neurotypical people. I seem to completely understand and FEEL their agenda's/behaviour. I am extremely sensitive to every little detail in their moods/feelings/behaviour. I feel their fears and worries, an their coping strategies. I'm like a sponge and take it all in. This is very exhausting for me. I often loose myself and don't get what I need, since I seem to be only giving out.

[@loiscassels8966]

demoraatz Sounds like you might be an empath.

[@nancynunke9783]

I get that 100%.

[@tiptoes9847]

Same.

[@okterlox0]

WOW! It’s the same for me too! I’m 62 and REALLY wish I could understand myself before I die.

[@aoefeable]

demoraatz I believe we’re processing all of the data inputs (the sponge) and have successfully come up with interpretable patterns. We absorb all of this emotional data which is overwhelming - we feel deeply. I know I have spent far too much time trying to figure out how best to respond to the data and because my responses are geared to benefit the other people I’ve neglected my own needs. It’s a relief to know that its not that I just don’t get it, it’s just that I don’t need it.

[@alisonbrowning9620]

I still arrange food and stuff in the cupboards, has to be aesthetically pleasing.

[@Brandyalla]

I arrange things by size, and the stacks must also be balanced. Pyramids are the most perfect shape in the universe

[@smievil]

i merge food together so you can't tell it appart

[@Jen.K]

OMG! yes, everything has to be aesthetically pleasing, it's exhausting sometimes, but so important.

[@cidb.212]

All my can labels have to be centered with the English side out (I do this at the grocery store too if no one is looking) and the coffee mugs that match each other have to stay together. (One of the things I like about KZbin: you find out you're not as weird as you think you are.)

[@catherinemalcolm8125]

Is that not 'normal'?

[@007nadineL]

*I struggle mightily with getting my needs met when I'm with other people, so that's why I prefer to be alone majority of time. I'm too easy going when I'm with others. I find it difficult to speak up for myself.*

[@gingerredshoes]

Knackered -- exactly, finding out at age 46 that's I'm autistic (not crazy) was such a relief.

[@hazelbrownn]

How did you find out? I am 55 and suspect that I am Autistic.

[@ann-marielofberg1159]

Ginger Redshoes I was 48...

[@ApacheMagic]

Me too. 55.

[@ApacheMagic]

hazel brown do the online AQ test, then book an appt with a psychologist if you score over 26

[@frankboff1260]

Same here Ginger. I’m 54 and found out a few years back.

[@tealrose3248]

This lecture has me flipping between "oh shit, dat me!" and "oh shit, dat my kid!" Much food for thought here. And chasing up formal diagnoses.

[@sarahd3515]

This chick hit the nail on the head with the "chaos" and "life events". I know exactly what she means about being "crap at life" too. I felt like I had to put in 200% more effort than my peers and it still wasn't good enough. After quitting a bunch of jobs in earlier years due to things ranging from boredom, to frustration, to overworking myself more than my colleagues, to bullying, my friends just said that I needed to try harder. As the years have gone by, jobs have been more and more difficult. At the moment I'm selling my home to live on the money. When the money is gone, I'll go on benefits, which is only $15k a year. I'll never have holidays or the life I want just because work environments have traumatised and burnt me out so much in the past. There should be more help available for autistic adults...especially the ones who "seem fine" but are really struggling.

[@crescendo2441]

Crap at life indeed. As well as my social failures, I've quit jobs due to : the office being too cold; the job being too boring; office renovations changing my workspace too much; colleagues sitting too close; desk facing a wall. Some jobs had a combination of these problems. I only lasted a few days or weeks at most of them. The longest job I held was 5 years until they renovated the office and moved my desk elsewhere...

[@barefootincactus]

This is so my life. I am 63 and have saved up the money to get diagnosed. I want to know.

[@renehouse1032]

I just got diagnosed-I am 55.

[@Growmap]

There are tests online. The one with 50 questions is considered by already-professionally diagnosed Aspies to be accurate enough to know.

[@TheAwesomes2104]

This brings me back to my teenage years where I bought a journal with the intention of listing everyone I interacted with at school and documented information about them in it so that I could crack the social code and understand how to interact with them. But thankfully, in a moment of clarity, I realised how weird everyone would think I was if it was ever found. So I just kept the list in my head, though not as efficient, it was far less risky.

[@Growmap]

Very logical. I consider it a good idea to recognize hateful people and avoid interacting with them. I find it very curious that normal people can treat each other so badly and then carry on relationships as though they didn't. And I suspect that is why Aspies don't have a lot of friends. As soon as a person treats us badly, why would we continue having a relationship with them?

[@launicorny5374]

Wait thats what i did too! Haha

[@Twimcsm]

I’ve had this same experience! Except with a spreadsheet instead of a journal 😭 instead I just made all my friends send me a “me list” which is basically a “vibes” list of things they like or do and that was more socially acceptable

[@kirbypoto7451]

oh no ,I had that same list but written on the wall of my room and depending on how I liked them

[@kirbypoto7451]

@@launicorny5374 It's so nice to know that he did the same things that you thought were weird.

[@stephaniespivak6225]

I cried when she said it's not my fault and I'm actually doing well

[@nykolhaebrd]

Oh my gosh, this has been my whole life! My family never noticed, and they don't understand. I'm an adult and still stuck at my parents house. Recently I was diagnosed with a mood disorder, but everyone avoids my questions about autism. I've had to lumber through everything by myself, and it is exhausting. I have no idea how to ask for help or who to ask for help. Even leaving this comment on social media is hard.

[@nykolhaebrd]

I finally found a place that might assess me not too far from where I live. And I'm getting my stimulus/disability. Progress!

[@sharonoddlyenough]

​@Shathenair Hub congrats!

[@PortraitoftheArtistasanOldDog8]

Hope you're going ok... I've been binging Prof Sam Vaknin yt who has mind blowing insights you might appreciate...

[@indigobb]

Being lazy was such a huge misperception I had about myself before being diagnosed. My current roommates best friend works at an asd centre and they grew up around it and when I got diagnosed one of the first things they said to my idea that I’m not working hard enough was ‘you’re the least lazy person I know’ I just had no idea neurotypical people can ‘get over’ schedule changes and itchy tags and new food. that would be wild

[@denisemorrison876]

"Why would you want to talk to anybody when you're running? If you can talk, then you're not bloody RUNNING". I Love it! Thank you for this video. I've never been dx'd but I see myself in so much of what you've presented here. Brilliant.

[@brida5923]

Exactly! I never understood that! Still don’t. Gym class was hell, but get me on the ocean or doing my own sport, and I’m good to go!

[@denisemorrison876]

Yes! Absolute rubbish at gym class, but get me in the woods or in a kayak, and I’m literally a happy camper!

[@denisemorrison876]

WAS absolute rubbish, that is. Gym classes were a loong time ago.

[@MsBecause]

I wished I’d watched this at 21 instead of 41; it would have saved me a whole load of heartache. I absolutely 100% self-identify as being autistic and have so much evidence but no one will listen to me. I am told constantly that I’m socially withdrawn because I’m depressed but I know this isn’t true. How many girls and women will have to live like this before they’re given the diagnosis and support that they need?

[@carmenquintana6761]

Hopefully with speakers like this one it will improve for women in the future. I'm sorry you're not being heard, but at least you can be there for yourself. For me it's been realizing that others misjudge me, but now I know better. Have you completed some clinically approved self-diagnosis tools? Many autistic groups accept self-diagnosing people (specially considering the long waitlist, the expensive assessments from specialists, the biases of many outdated clinicians, and that it's harder to be diagnosed for late-diagnosing and women). There are "Discord" groups if you're interested in meeting other autistics, also on "Meetup". Wishing you the best!

[@RianneDoller]

I'm 27 and listening to talks about autism in females explains so much... I am smart, but didn't get high marks, I adapt by watching people ( I even have a master in understanding people (sociology). Was a quiet kid except with people I was familiar with. And normal day to day things always seem more difficult for me than other people (shopping, saying hi to acquaintances, adapting routines, living with someone etc. ). Happy to have started this journey of self-discovery

[@slevinchannel7589]

People need to inform themselves about ‚Autism Speaks’ and it’s Horrors. WIIILD Misconceptions fly around and Hollywood doesnt help; so much so that ‚Hollywood Autism’ has become a Term to describe ‚Unexplained Superpowers posseses by a Character just cause of Autism’.

[@stacyeaster3326]

My mother said I was speaking in full sentences by 6 months old. You are the first person in 49 years I heard that from. This is definitely our diagnosis. I wish I had figured it out while she was still with me but she has gone on. My grand daughter is how I stumbled upon you. Thank you for doing this video.

[@kellyholladay1687]

I believe you. My autistic son could walk at 7 months and run at 8 months.

[@marthamryglod291]

I walked at eight months and spoke my first words at seven months. I spoke full, monotone sentences for the next three years. I read at a college level in sixth grade and have done nothing in my life with all of this ability lol

[@stacyeaster3326]

@@michellecd4722 well it may not be documented but it sure as heck happens.

[@Sapiditious]

hyperlexic me read Poe & Dickens @7, all shakespr by11ish. Practically lived in the school library during all my lunch hours, reading most of the books in the small library room including the encyclopedia. My mom said I hit the markers earlier than other babies when I told her about my son teething @2mo, saying “Maaaaa” instead of crying for milk at 3mo. Started playing sign language videos when he was about 3/4mo as background learning for me and an early communication technique used to help reduce tantrums. I told myself I was just imagining it when I started noticing that he used the ASL sign for milk every time he’d called me from the other room. At 5mo old, we gave him ice cream for first time and heard him go “mmmm, more”. I turned to the other adults at the table w us and in shock we all turned to look at him and he did the ASL sign for more and said it again. Early walker, early talker, Nothing crazier than having your almost 2.5 yr stomp into the living room, when you thought you’d made the tv quiet enough that he couldn’t hear, but he stands in front of you with the disappointed parent posture, legs apart, one hand crooked on hip and the other pointing and shaking at me saying, “ I’m berry dithapointed you yong laly! U thapoth to be sleep. Ith bedtime! Grrr” 😮😂😅 I tell you I struggled so hard not to burst out laughing at that moment. (Grrr, like a growling dog was his version of tantrum) I’ve got a collection of some of the craziest mom stories about my kid that no one else I’ve met seems to also have. 🤷🏻‍♀️ We had many long conversations in elementary yrs almost every day after school about some of the confusing or rude and unfair rule breaking things classmates would do Or how was in trouble again, this time for correcting his K teacher for providing bad info on Christopher Columbus not discoverng America, BC we’d watched a Nova documentary about new findings that Vikings were here, hundreds of years earlier, just a couple of weeks ago. 🤔 This kind of stuff, honestly looking back now…. Yeah, he clearly has strong ASD features.

[@TwinkleTwinkleTruly]

I really appreciate her little jokes, like how she’s clarifying which one she is in the picture she showed at the start. I wish the audience would acknowledge them, it helps make the topic less heavy and dense. I hope she could she people smile when she made the jokes, it’d also add some kind of “hey, we’re all strange, little humans in this room.”

[@gs3833]

"I can come in and make people laugh, but then I don't have much else to do with myself" -my whole life :)

[@mikkareads]

I'm 43, have only just accepted that I'm autistic and could now kick myself for not doing so much sooner. Talking to my husband, I'm surprised to learn that a lot of things that I thought I was masking so well were crystal clear to him. (Though I suspect not to other people, I like to think that I'm very good at masking.) Like, he made a joke today that I didn't get at all, I thought he was dead serious. He told me he was joking, and I was like "Oh. At least it doesn't happen that often that I don't get a joke, right?" He: "Well, actually... It does. You're VERY literal." I do get jokes when I know that somebody is going to tell a joke. Though I just proved that wrong by not getting a joke that my husband told with reasonable notice . Well, I'm not sorting things, I thought today, before sorting my little pots of acrylic paint. I don't stim... that much, I thought while rubbing my fingers. I feel like I've been blind for many years, thinking that there was something wrong with me *as a person*.That I was lazy, selfish, stupid. I have meltdowns. I feel overstimulated by sounds. I am overjoyed when friends cancel plans. There are few things that I dred more than going on vacation. I can go on and on and one about my special interests. And so on, and so forth. I'm like what the speaker described in the beginning: I can be chipper and cheerful when I need to spend time with other people, and on the way home I just fold in on myself and need a day or two recovering.

[@emmilypalmer9269]

this is me. None of my family accepts me; they view me as a threat because I refuse to conform. As a result, they have chosen to make up the reality of who I am and explain it away saying I’m strung out on drugs and my brain is whack because of drug use. Which could not be further from the truth. I stopped wearing the masks and being a polite conformist, embracing myself and who I am no matter the consequences. I have a history of being harassed and bulled because I’m an assertive and direct individual with a very defiant need to stand up for what is fair and virtuous. I am completely alone as a result. I’m ok with that. It’s better than the hurt that comes from the people whom are supposed to love you the most. Thank you for bringing more light to my experience. xoxo 🌈🦄🤟❤️♾

[@Iusedtosing]

Me Me me me me… yes. My parents literally accused me the same thing. I’m glad you have found splice, reading your comment makes me feel less alone

[@emmilypalmer9269]

@@Iusedtosing you are not alone ❤️🤟

[@breehogg2878]

you sound WONDERFUL- I think you know that. 😎

[@yourenough3]

Alot of the criteria could easily be misdiagnosed with bpd. Really appreciate this video.

[@cthulucalamari2448]

I was actually misdiagnosed with BPD for years before I was correctly diagnosed with autism. It seems that it's a pretty common thing for females to be misdiagnosed with mental illness, when it's actually autism.

[@tay3831]

I was misdiagnosed with bpd for years and I just felt happy cause I had SOMETHING but I knew deep down it just didnt explain everything

[@happytofu5]

@@cthulucalamari2448 what did you do to be finally diagnosed differently?

[@tay3831]

@@happytofu5 went to an autism specialist. They are really the only ones who know

[@CityKanin]

I have both BPD AND autism. Life is hard.

[@pxjxgx]

Being the funny clown friend also masks the awkward clumsiness really well

[@lsmith992]

Re interest in murderers etc, how people minds work. For me it's about psychopaths and narcissists particularly as I've been a victim of these creatures.

[@Vasia_Vu]

L Smith same.

[@cowatarian.]

Me too

[@alystee1]

Yes!

[@schonlingg.wunderbar2985]

If you can still post stuff on YT you have not been the victim of a murderer. 😉

[@AR-vf7vg]

I'd say it is there partly overlapping with "pervert narcicist" sociopats "etc" ( with those of high functioning autism (asperger?)), in that it is 'same strategy' : to cover up by faking, therby study and copy appearance of 'others" , both similarly to what artistic actors do. (Manipulative (mask) but not dark intended).

[@Maliceah]

Every relationship I've had I've had to tell them "I need my alone time" and they just didn't get it.

[@TheJilayne]

I was just diagnosed a month ago at 55. For the first time in my life, I'm stereotypical. So relieved to finally understand me but also feeling grief that it took so long.

[@jasminflower3814]

Which country did you get diagnosed in? Did it cost you any money?

[@TheJilayne]

@@jasminflower3814 I live in Canada where apparently you should be able to find a Doctor or Psychiatrist for a diagnosis. From what I hear it is near impossible to find one who is in fact trained. We can also hire a psychologist, which costs about $3000. I live in Calgary, Alberta and we are so lucky to have an MD who is on the spectrum and it's covered. It took me about five months, which isn't bad. My luck is not the norm though. Good luck to you, wherever you are.

[@jasminflower3814]

@@TheJilayne Thank you, JD for your response. I live in Australia, QLD. I would like to get diagnosed but I don't want to fork out that sort of money. I don't have it to spend on something I have had to live with all my life. Has getting properly diagnosed changed your life in any way? I think it will make my self- esteem worse.

[@TheJilayne]

@@jasminflower3814 For me it has made a huge difference. After years of going to mental health, counselling and self help groups, I finally have the answer I knew was being missed. I finally understand why I struggle with things that others did with ease. I had difficult relationships, suffered horrendous trauma as a young woman because I was very vulnerable. I can finally be kinder and more compassionate with myself. Yes, having a disability is a difficult thing and I do get sad about it, but on a whole, I'd say having a diagnosis has been beneficial to me. Such a shame about the cost. Have you taken a screening test? The ASQ is available online and if you look up your local Autism resource centre, they likely have a link. I wish you all the best with this.

[@jasminflower3814]

@@TheJilayne I am glad you have benefited from the diagnosis. I am 55 yrs old as well. Live in QLD Australia. I will look up ASQ online. I am embarrassed to know I have it because I have always fought and tried to cover it up. 'Listening to this lady, Sarah Hanendrickx I think I agree with 90% of what she says, the other 10% is just differing degrees. Anyway, I wouldn't tell my parents I had it, they would think I was just making up excuses for myself or trying to get sympathy or something. And my husband's mother, who is a teacher told him I had Autism and I told him she was wrong. It looks like she was right.

[@brainmaker4495]

The plague of my childhood was my parents’ mantra: “that’s the least that’s expected of you.” No matter the accomplishment. I was clearly very smart so why wasn’t I applying myself? And that very attitude told me there was no point in working harder.

[@errorASMR]

yeah, i've spent my life being so critical of myself, very poor self talk, finally turning it around ...and realizing i might be autistic

[@sweetafton5655]

Brainmaker same here! Lawyer/cop/clerical father and English teacher mom. Both very bright, and a bit ‘odd’/shy. They used to say the same thing to me. I’m almost 48 and watching this particular video seems to describe me so closely. I have a 29-yr-old son and he is more ‘obviously’ autistic, and so it can overshadow a lesser degree on the spectrum, I suppose (me).

[@muurrarium9460]

same here... So sorry it happened to you!

[@pirategirl94best]

Wow, I totally remember it being like that for me too. I came home with straight A's in everything except math where I got a B (because I hate math) and all my parents said was "But.... Why did you only get a B in math". From that point on I decided it was useless to try... However I wish I could turn back time and tell myself to not think like that because I struggle so hard with getting anywhere now. Do you have any advice? :(

[@annaletscher4004]

Sounds like my life too..

[@LoftBallerina]

At around 1:00:00 “why would you want to run with other ladies?” YES!!! This is one of the reasons I knew that I was “not like the others” Being in the fitness “industry”, this whole push towards communal workouts and social sharing felt way wrong to me! Thank you for this great lecture!

[@GiraffeStuck]

Just finished and now I'm sobbing. It feels like you read out my whole life in an hour fifteen. I was diagnosed w depression in middle school, panic disorder high school, but no one had ever posited I might be autistic until my current partner (who was diagnosed young and received support they needed) and it makes so much sense. I tried to kill myself last week because I've convinced myself I'm just bad at living and I'm never going to get it right, so why keep wasting everyone's time... To hear someone echo my experiences and my headspace so accurately is such a huge relief. Thank you.

[@MissL4lly]

it's like a light going on isnt it. I've been in dark places in life due to not understanding why. I'm 53 and just today, watching this video realise why. Sending positive vibes x

[@h.nicolejorgensen2077]

I think I have found my tribe! This lady is awesome😄👍 It is a huge comfort to know why after all these years I felt like I was from another planet. Thank you so much for sharing this. Not officially diagnosed but I think this fits me. Still struggling to find support with this. People keep saying I don’t fit the mold.

[@itsmanu994]

You just described my thought! I've have the same feeling as you.

[@itsmanu994]

@@jasminflower3814 Yes, I am definitely on the spectrum even though it's a self diagnosis. I am still on this long road seeking for a professional assessment.

[@jasminflower3814]

@@itsmanu994 What do you think your worst symtom is Manu?

[@gendaextraordinaire8931]

Well you do fit. And you may have found it here. Welcome.

[@hazelbrownn]

Me too. I would like to find a group in my area.

[@Jen.K]

I'm undiagnosed, in my 50's. I tried to get a diagnosis about 10 years ago, but the psychiatrist said I write too well to be autistic! It was very disappointing because this is so obvious what my difficulties are and has been the story of my life and now I'm dealing with a bunch of health issues from a lifetime of stress, lots of misdiagnosis's and damaging medications. I would love to have some understanding friends, or some kind of support system, but I'm pretty much alone now, dealing with my issues. Thank goodness for my sister and dog :)

[@zentient8840]

Seek another dr

[@shorelined1]

Same here. Have you gotten a proper diagnosis?

[@stampandscrap7494]

Wow, did she get dyslexia and autism confused

[@charitymoore9575]

I'd like to know in contrast what is the normal experience when socializing, relationships etc.

[@007nadineL]

Yash queen

[@verabolton]

I'd like to know if there is anyone out there who does not fit into this wide autism spectrum. We are all weirdos in some ways - what makes "normal" normal?

[@monikawiedmann8594]

So do I, I wonder how many women are to some extent pretending, to fit into the expectation of binary gender behaviour.

[@MissL4lly]

@@verabolton tbh I feel normal here. unusual for me to have so much in common with so many people.

[@verabolton]

@KEPLER No, we are not abnormal. You might want to call yourself as such, and then you need to deal with that. As with your own bad manner.

[@avg4015]

49 and now crying because this is me.

[@ElephantPatronus]

Same. xo

[@katrinakollmann5265]

You're not alone

[@aussieevonne7857]

I recognise this. I was also diagnosed as autistic at 43, 3 years ago. I'm a woman. I explored that avenue of diagnosis eventually because, in short, I was knackered. That bit of your talk rang so true. My diagnosis didn't change anything about me at my core, but it did change everything about how I accepted and understood myself. It made a world of difference in that regard. Years and years of excellence but also failed jobs and careers, and a lifetime of incomprehensible anxiety and depression now made sense. They were not solved by diagnosis, but they were made comprehensible. I get myself now. And that makes a world of difference. It was actually lifesaving. Sounds hyperbolic, but I think it actually was.

[@aoefeable]

aussieevonne Well said! Ditto for me.

[@jasminflower3814]

What state are you in Evonne? Was it free on Medicare?

[@aussieevonne7857]

@@jasminflower3814 I live in The Netherlands.

[@jasminflower3814]

@@aussieevonne7857 Oh ok, thank you.

[@adrianavidal6311]

I just feel absolutely the same. Is such a relief be able to understand why things didn't work. Is a new whole chapter in our life's. Thank you for your comment, you nailed.

[@rubyreduxx]

Well.... this was insightful in ways that I might of not been ready for 😂

[@krissyk9767]

"If i do a full day of work I need a day off afterwards" - yes! Work makes me sooo exhausted. Being around people and trying to act "normal" and contain my emotions is very tiring. I can only just cope with working 3 days a week then i need the rest of the week alone in my apartment away from people recovering!

[@drzeworyj]

knitting and crafting in general is also stimming! :) (as in: repetitive movements that possibly stimulate serotonin secretion). I feel 'personally attacked' by this because I am obviously watching yt with crochet in hand ;)

[@isobelb]

I got into rug making when I was 7 and crochet as a teenager. It was so relaxing and I never understood why. (Now its clear that I was stimming and building a barrier because everyone could see that I was busy and would leave me undisturbed.)

[@frankboff1260]

😊

[@michelemurphy3541]

drzeworyj I make jewelry and can sit for hours doing repetitive motion...I was late diagnosis and so much of my little hobbies and crafting, makes so much sense. It is actually really awesome now that I know it is among other things, my neuro process of intake is different-everything at once and I was SUPER tactile when I was little-had to touch EVERYTHING. This video is so fantastic. Everyone’s comments are very cool. What a relief.

[@catherinemalcolm8125]

Yep, me too x

[@alanastone5241]

My teachers said I was lazy. They need to be educated now not me.

[@jasminflower3814]

lol

[@Yakarash]

I was always told I'm highly Intelligent but lazy by teachers. It was remarked on every single grade slip since kindergarten. No one guessed I could be dyslexic and autistic. I only passed because of my 160IQ

[@jasminflower3814]

@@Yakarash Same here, but I wouldn't call myself highly intelligent.

[@Traumatised311]

Ive been bullied so much in college , I have dropped out of college and life, I have had suicidal thoughts forever

[@Yakarash]

@@Traumatised311 Do you have a chance to work with a Psychiatrist who knows about our special needs? A very high percentage of aspies suffer from Depression. Modern society is such a difficult environment for us, especially if we don't get the right tools to survive. What realy helped me, was joining a church where people actually tried to live by their beliefs. I was met with a lot of understanding and compassion. I get that not everyone can believe in a higher power. But I am sure that there is a community for everyone out there. As unlikely as it might seem at times.

[@hazeljoynson839]

I have been crying for 2 hours since listening to this. I have completely believed that I am a failure at everything despite trying to do what everyone else does. I am 50+, have had such a chaotic life, cannot maintain friendships/relationships (often don’t have the inclination - too hard). I prefer my company, have many sensory sensitivities and Have 2 autistic adult sons and possibly an autistic daughter (so much like me!). My mother and elder sister are undiagnosed but present as typically “male” autistic. There are many other family members, male and female in different generations, on the spectrum. I’ve been completely oblivious to the possibilities that I could be autistic.

[@sarahtaylor8161]

This is great. In terms of physical conditions (e.g., IBS, colitis, pain disorders, etc), there is a lot of research showing a link between autoimmune disorders and autism. Anecdotally, this is absolutely what I've seen from my own highly-neurodivergent social circle. It makes sense to me that if autism is suspected, autoimmune disorders are considered if they are having physical issues; and vice-versa.

[@tELMOmlet13]

Idk if I’m on the spectrum or if I just have social anxiety and am a *unusual person

[@sophiagomez5619]

Same

[@gina2190]

Yep !

[@Hensch]

Watch a Video with" xx signs youre autistic" and watch other ppl share their experience. Then you Will know weathger you have it. I immidiatlythoufht holy sck that would actually explain everything wtf that exist? lol

[@dazeslays]

don't know if you've had any more developments since you left this comment, but I want to say that it's totally cool to identify as autistic without a diagnosis if you find the label comforting or helpful. For the most part the autistic community online is very welcoming to self-diagnosed autistics. Of course, if you don't want to or aren't comfortable, that's your choice too 😊

[@tELMOmlet13]

@@dazeslays Thank you for the kind welcoming comment! I think Im pretty good as I am not labeling myself or going to a doctor. At least for now!

[@barbaramoran8690]

I spent decades being shamed because I couldn’t look normal and it made me hate people.Getting autism diagnoses was like getting forgiven I was40 then.I have severe sensory issues .

[@alisonbrowning9620]

my friends were all small children or old people I had no interest in my peers at all, only I wanted a boy friend so I could get married and have babies. When I did have a fellow girl friend i was very posessive and the same with boy friends, the very few count on one hand boy friends i ever had.

[@thetresureofdragonsbis6065]

"oh crafts. cool!" looks down at clay-covered hands "oh."

[@wilderwentzel2662]

I've always known I was different but I never got help or a diagnosis. I was diagnosed with bpd at 17 and just believed it. I loved mimicking and things and do funny voices and tend to parrot things I like not able to help it. I was always the funny one in school and always watched people to learn (being an artist helps bc then I get away with watching people by drawing them). I was always a tomboy. Now bc I'm stuck inside from lock down, I've been having so much time with myself in my head I started looking for answers. I've been seeing so much autism stuff and being like yes yes yes that's me!! I am trying to find someone to get a diagnosis but at this point I feel I'm pretty sure I'm autistic.

[@SashikuChan]

I have thought I have autism *Aspergers when it was a thing* for years, but I couldn't find anyone who knew about it in my area. Found a new place last week, I really hope they have one. I was diagnosed with ADHD 3 years ago and I just struggle constantly. Everybody says I'm lazy, even though every day of my life feels like an uphill battle. I took the AQ test and got 80 of 100 and I have so many of the symptoms. I am just ready for this to be over and finally get the help I need. I can't keep going like this forever, I'm 39 and just done.

[@KirstenMarie_MS3]

Holy cow... all of this makes so much sense now. Especially having a complex imaginary world and being bright but appearing lazu or not living up to one's potential.

[@kaiven2429]

Yes, Sarah deserves an award plus....!!!! I am double the age that Sara was when she got her diagnosis. She describes my life to a Tee and why would I want a diagnosis at 81? There are no services available to help me "cope," that I know of. I have stayed true to my Spirit my whole life, while I have constantly been inaccurately perceived since age one. That doesn't feel good, but I had to give up on others and know I am okay as I am, being always my true authentic Self, in spite of everything and everybody....It does help to know I am not basically flawed and defective, so thanks Sarah.

[@BiaOrtizFotografia]

This is a important day for me. I have been studying autism for some years (because of a cousin) and just about a month ago I realized that I "could" be on the spectrum too, when I started to see autistic female with late diagnoses. I brought this to psicotherapy and she totally ignored this, saying that I think too much. I have anxiety and depression diagnostic but I always new there were something else. With this video I just saw myself and my life history. Thanks for this. I will stop to argue with professionals that don't have this understanding. I brought this only as an hipotesis before... and they refused to investigate. It is frustrating. Now that I'm 100% certain, I wil pursue a specialized professional to help me and before that, try to find my tribe. Thanks for your fantastic work (from Brazil)

[@maureenthompson4232]

"I'm just crap at life" lol because yeah that's how it feels sometimes. Might apply to me.

[@christinaxeni8444]

I was diagnosed autistic at 33 and omg this woman just summarized me as a person: the various life experiences, lost jobs, failed relationships, being bright at school but totally failing university, being a tomboy... She just read the script of my life 😬

[@vegaflor8830]

so have the relationships gotten better?

[@aimeem9867]

I'm literally laughing and crying at the same time watching this because how deeply I'm identifying with all of this information.

[@lysagreen2314]

Listening to this seminar has reinforced my suspicions that I am probably autistic. I have been “weird” since early childhood. My parents started taking me to doctors at age 4, because something was “wrong” with me. I am 59 years old, and have been diagnosed with all sorts of psych disorders: dysthymia, major depression, psychotic depression, OCD, GAD, bipolar, borderline personality d/o , schizophrenia, and schizoaffective d/o. I have been hospitalized, on scads of psych drugs, even involuntarily committed and given ECT, however, I was not given a “correct” diagnosis for years, because I didn’t fit neatly into any one diagnosis. I still don’t “fit” with people and struggle to be “normal” This lady could have been describing me. Even my children tell me that they know I have Asbergers. Very informative for people like me who are middle aged, and have very possibly been misdiagnosed.

[@lesliegann2737]

My parents also thought there was something wrong with me and took me to a hearing doctor when I was 4 or so. They thought I might be deaf. I was slow in talking. By grade 2 I was fine and found out I wasn't stupid. However, my situation is confusing because I also suffered from being a black sheep child of a narcissistic mother plus I'm a highly sensitive person. She used to delight in telling me stories of how I was 'strange' as a kid but I thought this was just what these narcs do to their children to undermine their confidence. But I've always wondered if I might also be autistic.

[@checkitoutlove]

This is me. However reading fiction feels like a waste of time. It doesn't apply to the world. Feels time wasted. So the enjoy fiction is not me

[@itsmanu994]

I think the same as you I never enjoy fiction.

[@Jen.K]

I used to get lost in fiction when I was a child, and young adult, I could spend entire weekends reading, getting lost in the fantasy lives of fictional characters. But these days it feels like wasted time. I still get lost in stuff now, but different things.

[@HannahJoy333]

checkitoutlove, same here! Fiction is not reality and feels so wasteful but I love documentaries and autobiographies because they are real experiences.

[@fionafiona1146]

Romance was icky but had the inner monolog to explain my fellow teens so was at the top of my reading list

[@mrthedudeman]

I am male and this sounds like a lot like my life.

[@catherinemalcolm8125]

Hmm, I am female but identify with some of the male traits, there are very possibly many of us who present as neither gender typically.

[@coleworld4385]

Omg I’m like..... I just thought I was weird

[@gendaextraordinaire8931]

Probably, but isn't that good??? you are being your true self. Well done,

[@rengsn4655]

You are weird but now the weirdness makes sense and we can all be weird together

[@DianaHernandez-gv7fc]

At some point I thought there were people who were meant to suffer more than others.

[@minnaroseahlers2758]

I was diagnosed ten years ago, before I felt it was safe to come out as transgender. Not surprised that I tick so many boxes: sorter, social anxiety but get on with other women on a one to one basis, very well. However, I'n an empath and attract narcissists and other energy vultures like I had a sign in Neon pointing at me. I'm hopeless at supermarket shopping . I get the same stuff every week.. I love being among nature by myself there's so much to investigate and relate to. I'm a scientist . First books read as a child,Oxford dictionary and Pear's Cyclopedia I developed an interest in in Chemistry and Biochemistry at 11 and continued up the ladder until I came away from from University two decades later with a PhD. The only problem was instead of concentrating on one extremely narrow field I recognised that most of the things really worth studying were interdisciplinary . I think I drove my supervisor to distraction.

[@motherofjellyfish]

The part about men withdrawing and women being too proactive is spot on.

[@crescendo2441]

The funny thing is that I do both. I'm female.

[@TheKitten]

I apparently autist like a man. I never put up with any creeper's bullshit even though I was a small and extremely shy girl. I've only had one serious relationship that I'm still in after over 10 years. Only been drunk a handful of times in normal non dangerous situations. Had 6 jobs by 40 which is less than others in my social circle. Therapists frequently said i might have avoidant personality disorder before the ASD diagnosis.

[@catherinemalcolm8125]

Hmm, I'm rather male with this I fear.

[@annaletscher4004]

Holy crap this is me in many many ways. I was studying psychology but burnt out and quit. Psychology fascinates me tremendously. I've always been the "psychologist" to everyone that knew me. Everyone came to me with their problems, I'd listen and give advice. I didn't realize this wasn't "normal" until recently. Perfectionist- my entire darn life and absolutely the reason I continously burn out.

[@constancemartin933]

When she said you'd never guess after giving this talk, so eloquently, that she'd be a puddle of tears or in utter silence & need a couple days to recover at home in her country setting..the way I spent 13 years at work, especially after divorce. OMGoodness. Related to so much of what she said. As she talked, I kept remembering features & specific events from my past that seemed to click into place in my understanding of my life picture. I would love to find my 'Keith'. Terrified of diagnostic process, misdiagnosis. However...this talk and others give help & hope.

[@m.l3483]

I agree with all you’ve said! I couldn’t understand why I was completely broken after work when I used to work full time at a toxic workplace. Oof. I’m also unsure about getting diagnosed...

[@dmanzawsome]

I hate when people say autistics dont have the ability to imagine or be creative As long as there is some structure to guide us we can emulate creativity flawlessly

[@ninjaworm1997]

So eye opening! I’m going to seek a diagnosis as this is 100% me and it’s so relieving to know I’m autistic and not ‘weird’

[@IwasBlueb4]

a lot of the symptoms are very similar to those of other mental or neurological disorders....I suffer from PTSD which very often brings on Agoraphobia … the lights, sounds, crowds etc are VERY distressing.... We also have problems with socializing, unless its with one or 2 people maximum.....

[@tefiti8273]

I agree, I think I have complex PTSD and Aspergers and maybe undiagnosed asperger kids might easily suffer a big amount of social traumas, because of being different. I think a big difference between other disorders and Aspergers might be the special and very deep interests in a topic? Dont know, I am just getting into this topic since a few days, cause it explains my struggles so well.

[@treasurechest2951]

Very often Aspergers and complex PTSD are comorbid, and even share similar brain structures compared to NT brains. I haven't found this often mentioned in research texts but it's rampant in Aspergers online fora. Imagine going through life being rejected, failing at careers, mental issues, not knowing why and internalizing and self blame. It makes one scared of the world. I was getting PTSD treatment for years and helped some but the depression and anxiety never resolved. After my Dx now I finally know why. It doesn't take away the burden of being in the world with Aspergers or PTSD but now I know it's not my fault, there are others like me.

[@floriaskite938]

I can feel anxious with one person, and that person can be the most lovely person. Something that doesn't get talked about very much is "theory of mind" it came up when I had counselling and in my autism pre-assessment. It's a double edged sword because I have a strong sense of responsibility and I tend to think most things are about me. So, it's much easier being alone when I go out 🤔

[@evelynolson5731]

Yeah, I'm an introvert with depression and some of these symptoms still definitely were relatable, although they could all be explained without mentioning autism. Still unsure if I have it though...

[@kathygore6615]

Wonderful presentation - so clearly this has been my life - so sad that even though I even went to psychologists when a teenager saying things like "I feel different to everybody else" "I don't feel like a real girl" etc to be told things like "its just because you are smarter than others" "you are depressed" etc - with what we now know I obviously have ASD, as does my daughter and my grandson. Sad that it had to start with a diagnosis of my grandson for my daughter to get her diagnosis and at 57 I still haven't got an official one but know it to be the case the more I research. So many things in this presentation I hadn't heard before that were like "OMG THAT as well?"

[@gabriellalaplace]

I've never cared about romantic relationships.

[@arabellasterwerf7980]

You could be aromantic, which is people having no interest in or desire for romantic relationships. There is more nuance than that, but that is a basic definition. People who are a part of the Aromantic/Asexual community are simply amazing people!😁

[@TheAwesomes2104]

I have very little interest in romance. I don't really see the difference between a close friend and a romantic partner other than there is mutual attraction in romance. I find very few things romantic, and often I find attempts to be more cringe inducing than anything. However, I'm polyamorous and can have meaningful intimate relationships with multiple people at once. Plus it makes it easy to have some distance when I need it. I don't want to share a house, let alone a single bedroom with one person all of the time, and that being the standard in monogamous relationships feels extremely suffocating to me. Also, if I am dating multiple people and go a few days without contacting any of them, no one freaks out and thinks I suddenly hate them. Every monogamous relationship I've been in has been filled with "Is something wrong?" "Are you mad at me?" "You didn't reply to my text so we must be over." 😂 In reality I just needed to spend some time with myself. Plus, in polyamorous relationships you have to have open communication and set rules, boundaries, ect, because every person and every relationship is different. In monogamous relationships all of those rules are generally just loosely implied with out much discussion. The rules aren't defined and you get emotionally punished in a way for not correctly guessing exactly what the other person wants and feels. Edit: example, I've met couples where one partner considers becoming emotionally attached to a different (usually opposite gender) person as cheating and the other only considers the physical act of sex as cheating, but don't express this until it happens and they get all upset with each other about it. They'll call each other cheaters, but how can you cheat in a game that you don't know the rules to. Makes no sense to me at all.

[@VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM]

@@TheAwesomes2104 I like all those reasons too. But you can get away with it now because you're probably reasonably attractive and younger. There are still a lot of benefits to being an exclusive couple. As you get older or less attractive you'll find that eventually you'll even have hard time finding one person let alone many. You could end up having nobody and it's to late by the time you realize it. All the good choices paired off and you end up totally alone later in life. If you don't learn now how to have a one on one exclusive relationship you may forever be stunted in that area and not develop the skills. One day you're going to wake up and one of the other guys you were seeing decided to marry the other girl and not choose you. And now you're finding it hard to find someone decent left or anyone to choose you. I'm just saying, be careful how long you choose to live that life, because it can change fast when you hit the wall and don't have your youth and looks anymore. It's easy just to run to the next man now and never actually put real effort into keeping things together. Just wait until it's difficult to get one to even look your way. Then your life style changes real fast and your tune changes real fast too as you desperately start looking for even one decent man to accept you. But even if you find him you have no clue how to keep him and have become very self centered and don't understand about mutual giving and true love.

[@mimi.dixon.b]

@@VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM jeez a little misogyny and ageism here don't you think? I personally am not poly, but the commenter above doesn't seem to be indicating that they have an issue with forming connections with people just that the traditional confines and expectation of a monogamous relationship and what is thought to be traditional romantic gestures is overwhelming to them....and I get that, as someone who has had many codependent monogamous relationships- they can get unhealthy very quickly but are more easily justified if your thought process is- well, the older I get the less desirable I am in the eyes of society, so I better just go through the steps and get one to wife me quickly before my biological clock renders me unlovable! its a one-way ticket to forming a relationship out of societal obligation, rather than to find your own personal version of happiness.

[@elizabethscherman793]

At some point the microphone tone changes dramatically and starts to echo, which I found very distracting. Later, it comes back to the way it began, without an echo. I do appreciate the speaker very much and just want to point out these sensory distractions for those of us to whom they matter.

[@NewlyAwakened]

I think it was an accident. She may have bumped the mic

[@ThalesPo]

Yeah, I hate when that happens. They changed the feed to another microphone that was near the audience. Really makes it more difficult to understand.

[@helenpeach3903]

I was given Sarah's name earlier this morning during my online assessment for ASD (due to Covid-19 they can't do assessments in person at the moment). Almost everything she said resonated with me sooo much! I wanna be her best mate immediately!

[@007nadineL]

.... but then you'll run away from her after a day or two. .

[@fionafiona1146]

@@007nadineL why would we, she looks equally caring as controlling (once I know the people I treat that way they surprisingly enjoy that).

[@fionafiona1146]

She resonates.

[@nettieellis]

This is a fantastic speach. As a 40 year old who is just starting on the path to seaking a diagnosis, I see so much of myself in this. Thank you x

[@michelemurphy3541]

You want to be busy and kinetic but when | if you don’t have direction, you sort of just go in circles for a few years. This was me. I was diagnosed when I was 30. I am astounded over how long it has taken the medical field to catch up. And yes~my diagnosis was 100% huge relief!! This is awesome.

[@TheRainbowgirl1960]

I have just been diagnosed at 61 and can relate most of this the crafting and the obsession with murder thank you Sarah Hendrickx

[@sadiyaakasha4050]

This was possibly the most helpful youtube video i have ever watched in my life.

[@JillianNoelle]

I’m captivated by your story it parallels wit my story to a “T”. I’m 35 and always tried to tell myself it’s just social anxiety.

[@yasuewho480]

Wow. I've never heard so many things that ring true for me. I have been pondering diagnosis at nearly 50. I think I actually had a few female friends close to my age who helped me hide it, one of which I'd bet cash money was on the spectrum too. I also shouted when you mentioned psychology. In the 6th grade, I convinced my science teacher to let me do a report on abnormal psychology because I couldn't beat the thought of the science fair. By 8th grade, my actual nickname was "The Psychologist," because I'd read every book on psychology that our library system had to offer and I knew it inside out, upside down, and backwards. Do autistic women tend to find other autistic people to fit in? This was one of many extreme special interests in my life that was completely out of sync with my age group. At 6: geology (and I could tell you the science of it), 3rd grade art history, 5th grade economics and architecture, 6th until I graduated psychology HS and I thought I'd try to become a psychiatrist until my dyscalcuia blocked me from going further into maths and I realized I was actually too painfully empathic to be a therapist for real.

[@sousahari5948]

Yasue Who Oh, you and I could be twins. Thank you for sharing, that’s so useful.

[@Sapiditious]

Oh! Yeah me too! In fact I was an unofficial school counselor as a freshman and sophomore. I’d been reading psychology books for so many years at that point, and even tho I didn’t understand fully why friends’ of friend’s friends, wanted to know if I could help them analyze/advise/talk w/ them thru a family or other relationship problem, like I’d just helped her. I didn’t mind until I realized weeks later that I wasn’t leaving myself any free time to rest and my calendar was “booked” for two more weeks (my high school was structured to mimic college classes with several free time slots per day (obv we started earlier and finished late tho)).

[@us6130]

Watching this I just felt like she describes my life in a nutshell. My teens were chaotic, I couldn't be alone, so as I got along better with boys I had plenty of boyfriends, Predators and some really bad guys. I relate to comfy clothes living in a jumper for months. Always had a lot of time for myself so I only got into trouble when I got kids and had to raise them with little to no support. I love Data, crafts around my house, I have huge difficulties to ask for help. I need to know all the details so nobody can fool me.. could prove more of this. And only now being for official dx at 51 years old... Mind blowing

[@ricarosa2288]

Great speech!

[@lamar1423]

It's interesting but the BBC sitcom character "Miranda" played by Miranda Hart fits the description laid out here. Might explain why we go under the radar. The image is a quirky and harmless sort of girl moving from one thing to another.

[@SF1976.]

Fabulous, thank you so much for this talk!

[@rick3747]

Phenomenal video!

[@Noemie291]

Listening to you make my heart feel at peace and I'm only about 20min. Thank you.

[@margaretmeadows2516]

When it comes to education system , because it is organised, I adapt and I am good, but outside in the real world is chaos, I am like an actor without any training, it's exhausting. People told me , you are good in school , bright why can't you find a good job? I tried and still do, but it's a battle. I can't find help, most of the psychologists I've met thought I had anxiety, that's it. Relaxation techniques will solve the problems, no chance. They helped to elevate some of the stress I have , but it's not enough. I live in a rural community and the mentality is if you go to a psychologist you are mentally unwell, it's a stigma. I don't need meds I need understanding and proper professional help. I don't want to feel as a failure all the time because I am a war hero and the fight is still on. I want to live and do meaningful work, that's my purpose, only I have a hard time finding the path that leads to fulfilling it.

[@wendylouwombat3256]

Wow! I’m totally blown away! Thankyou for sharing this information.

[@alishabrown6570]

I love this lecture so much , thank you!

[@hrtdinasaurette3020]

When I first watched this video I smiled and sobbed at the same time. In it I strongly recognised both my mother and myself. A revelation. Thank you Sarah ❤

[@Urukfairy]

I have just found out I'm autistic and this talk made me feel.so.much better I have spent my whole life feeling different especially the whole gender discussion it all makes absolute sense

[@sarahsuero]

Thank you!!!!! I feel a sense of relief I cannot explain.

[@Liciablyth]

Brilliant.Wonderfully detailed. Thank you very much.

[@geckotime7552]

This Is just brilliant, I'm 24 and have my assessment in a few weeks. I watch things like this and feel like my life finally makes sense. Great video!

[@katymalone5506]

Thank you so much for this. I strongly identified with at least 90% of what you are talking about and it's great to hear there is so much support now. Still feels like such a long way to go.

[@hazelmckinley8456]

Relating to this massively. Thanks for sharing x

[@persephone6896]

It all resonates with me, thank you for giving us a voice and this understanding